surprise API

Me to HR lad: So yea I need you to process my resignation

HR lad to me (*silently whispering on phone*): I’ve resigned too. Good luck.

Is this only on my end, or we can pack our bags?

*Romantic candlelit dinner*

GF: "What are you thinking about, my love?"

Me: "The chocolate custard always seems to behave differently under stress than vanilla. It has a lower base viscosity, but a similar shear thickening. I was wondering whether anyone has ever made a database of all custard brands and flavors together with their viscosities"

My brain: *Oh fuck, that's not what I'm supposed to say during a romantic dinner*

GF: "Do you wanna check whether we can find a cheap second hand viscometer.... wait.... no.... you'd need a rheometer for that, right? Do you think we could build one ourselves?"

Me: *blinks in awe*

Even after 15 years, I'm still just puzzled, she really fucking is my soulmate

Cutting edge

javascript...

Lol I want to try this too. Do we've gender swap edition of this meme?

Had a dodgy stomach. Muted the mic & let out an almighty fart.

Only, as you'll have guessed (and I quickly guessed from the silence that followed), I'd missed the mute button.

you can just wake up 15 minutes before your shift

I am about to fire this client.

I can't take any more of this abject fucking stupidity.

I can't take any more sentence fragment responses to detailed questions and thorough responses.

I can't take any more expectations that I deliver consistent metadata and hundreds of pages of documentation, yet no one else has to do the same

I can't take any more rules only applying to/hamstringing me and my team

I can't take any more fucking gross incompetence and grossly undereducated shitfucks that get to send ridiculous bills and have 0 accountability while playing developer

I can't take any more obviously nepotistic and racist hiring that walks back every step of progress we've made in the last 50 years

I can't take not being able to call a spade a spade and being the villain when there's obvious graft occuring at every level

I can't take these old fucks padding their retirements while rendering everyone else contractors and cutting off opportunity for future generations

I can't take how absurdly, blisteringly stupid the business people are, or the fact that one average project managers with a recent PMI cert somehow bills what I do

I'm 100% going to drop dime on these fucks to every regulatory body they are beholden to, their investors, their corporate owners and USCIS, since I've already doxxed the shit out of all of my coworkers that don't remotely qualify for the positions they occupy.

So I’m a code slave

What's your opinion on Deno the new javascript / typescript / Webasembly runtime from the same guy who invented node.js ? Do you think it will be replacing node? Do you gonna try it?

https://deno.land/std/manual.md/...

My best friend gave me these...

If you feel useless, remember, Word has a dark theme

😂😂😂😂😂

lol...

Dedicated to all js devs out there!

this is how I found bugs in my code....

I got the job! prepare to call me junior dev 😁

tl;dr Either I'm being incredibly touchy, or half of everyone I've interacted with is being a total jerk to me today.

I also feel like I'd be overreacting if I responded in a bitchy way, so =/ I must be nice despite everyone's behavior.

I don't want to people today.
I want to sleep.

GUYS!!! SHE SAID "YES" !!!!

I'M SOOOO HAPPYYYYY!!!

All my dreams are becoming real! I was so nervous to ask, but it was worth it! I waited for the right moment, looked her in her eyes, she looked at mine.. And there I asked it: "are you willing to give it a try and install libreoffice instead of ms office?"

AND SHE SAID: "yes"!!!

Do I have the best wife or what!

This is the most Canadian tweet I've ever seen 😂

BATMAAAAAAAAAAAN

Programming language

:/

Interviewer: Can you explain OOP to a six year old?

Applicant: About the 6yo, are you referring to a client or you?

🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

When you don't have anything good to post so you make this

Only wrong because anger comes second. 😂

Stop talking trash about developer tools!

Vim is FAST

Visual Studio is RESPONSIVE

Eclipse is EFFICIENT

IntelliJ IDEA is PERFORMANT

Android Studio

Xcode is POWERFUL

I can so relate to this!