Oopsie 🙄

Interviewer: Can you explain OOP to a six year old?

Applicant: About the 6yo, are you referring to a client or you?

🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Client : we don't have a 404 page!

Co-worker : I'll make one

Now we get one everytime we click on something

Co-worker : oopsie

This is how I handle bad requests.

Was literally about to release a test version of the url shortener when I did some more testing and found some security vulnerabilities, let's fix those first tomorrow 😅

Just found a humongous bug in production. The customer relation number, which should have been unique was shared by ten customers.
So instead of 400,000 relation numbers we only had 40,000 unique numbers.

The system is live for 3 weeks now, and we just fixed it on a friday at 5:30PM

If we had found out a week later every customer would have gotten a plastic card with the wrong number, because the cards will be printed in four days...

> I didn't brought any condoms
> Just pull out Anon, we'll buy some later

You could say I went straight to production and now I'm considered "legacy"

Fuck this other project, seriously. Why was I borrowed here? I want to go back. The people who are supposed to help me with the codebase don't know what any of the code does at all. I wish they would just say I'm on my own so I can negotiate for more time instead of saying "you can find it here" and then it's not there, oopsie. Then they would ask somebody else about it and oh, they don't have it either. What game is this?

Sure, I can perform colonoscopy on this giant shit generator but I can't finish putting the feces together in less than a week. I'm also not a mind reader. I cannot tap into the other developers' consciousness and find out that there's code they haven't committed yet, that this code I just pulled is supposed to be deprecated. I cannot perform hypnosis or some fantastical witchcraft to tap into memories they cannot remember themselves. Not to mention the scripts that are in different branches that somehow turn this into a giant jigsaw puzzle.

I've already documented the setup for the development server because it took an entire week to annoy and jog people's memory on where the missing source codes are and what kind of hacky shit they did to make it work. All I can do is be an annoying fuck and spam people with screenshots of "look, it's not there" until they are angry enough to remember things or exhausted enough to let me go. Until then, roadblocks will be raised every meeting and I'll do my best not to unreasonably blame myself when I find it hard to sleep at night.

Arrrrgggggggghhh. Make it stoppppppp.

I once made an oopsie in an API for a logistics provider (one of the biggest in Germany...).

To understand the oopsie...

Based on input data a string must be created containing several hex / string / formatted values.

Think of ...

$return .= sprintf("%02X", ...)

I think there were around 15 to 20 lines, although more complicated.

The bug happened because I had a brainfart.

What was previously one line with... Many many many many variables, I had to split into multiple lines since internal stuff changed and it was impossible to change this oneliner of hell with >50 formatting codes.

Of course we didn't test everything.
XD

What we didn't test was - funnily enough - wether the casting was correct in all cases.

I misplaced a formatting code.

And we had a major brainfart because we tested integer, but not double / float values....

We sent for a long time packages much cheaper than allowed (took thw logistics provider nearly 3-4 months to realize this :) ).

Spot the difference:

@highlight
print sprintf("%01.2s", $money).PHP_EOL;

print sprintf("%01.2f", $money).PHP_EOL;

Always quadruplecheck your qoutes kids. Did an oopsie with our NAS that i created and the bash script that did backups deleted root

5k lines of code and some long days in and it turns out UI and I (backend) had an oopsie in our communication so it was all for nothing. Back to 0😖

My new passion in life is to spend a whole morning trying to figure out why I can't create a thumbnail with node-imagemagick, only to discover that I forgot an 's' to the output directory.

FUCK. ME.

I went on, poked around a little bit more and found some stuff like what tech my school has in a CSV, or daily tasks for the IT staff. But oh, I just had to, really had to do ipconfig /release! I have no idea wether the machine I was using remotely was virtual or real!

And I used my own account...

I fucking hate environnement configuration so much that I prefer to debug 8 hours straight rather than lose my time and shit for 2 hours on idiotic configuration problems and jump from page to page like a dumbass

"Hey you want that module, download it here !"
"Oopsie, starting from X version of the JDK/JRE this is no longer standalone and directly embedded in"
"Can't find it ? Well I just forgot to tell you that starting from Y version this is COMPLETELY removed from what I just told you to search in and now in another standalone package"
"So now you added your package as dependency for you project, your IDE detects everything well but can't run your code ? That's because it doesn't work anyway, use another method found on the dedicated Github issue which makes little sense and that you have to apply everytime, then sacrifice your inexistent newborn to connect to the 9th circle of hell where Java resides so everything will work"

I knew I couldn't get away using fucking Java and JavaFX

MFW I worked longer than 8 hours because of a weird bug that turned out to be caused by lack of typing in a third-party library. Was supposed to be a number but I was giving it a string 🤦‍♀️Need more sleep.

The funniest part is the library was written in Typescript. HmmMMMMmm...

Throw a `parseInt` or warning for wrong type in there for me, fellow devs! Save consumers of your library a headache!!

I did an oopsie.

I accidentally accepted a job/project through a friend and realized later that I would have to use wordpress which I have absolutely 0 experience with.
The thing is it's a website for swimming club and at first I was like sure let me just recycle this old school project. But then I've realized they are gonna need something dynamic (to update their schedules etc.) and that they will need something user friendly.
Later I found out that their previous website uses wordpress and that they like it and wanna keep that.
So here I am, thinking if I should just back off or try the dangerous way of learning it while creating the website (it probably wouldn't be worth the money since they won't pay much).
Honestly, how did I even get to this point.

that remote pc from school i did ipconfig /release on... it's been about a week since i did it and i still can't connect!

i don't think many of the other students or staff use or even know about it but i still am sorry...

for the pc :/

I became familiar with basics after my mom bought a PC and disc with software which included FirstPage. She wasn't *that* angry getting a $100 receipt for the month of Internet I trafficked - oopsie, thatta large price, even after inflation.

Bit of a stupid oopsie I had today that someone might appreciate.

We’re working on a microservice project in Spring Boot, running in a docker swarm. Past few days I get a Spring Cloud config server going in separate stack, create an overlay network, and get CI deployments to use the right profiles etc. It’s looking great, and the first component is working spectacularly.

Now just to do the other 6. Move config files to the Git repo, tweak CI, all the other faffing and hoohas; and deploy. Health checks keep failing, the containers are murdering themselves and resurrecting ad infinitum. They’re doing this so quickly that by the time I get the container ID to exec in and curl health, it’s no longer running. Cue frustration, increased caffeine and nicotine consumption; my sanity is slipping.

No errors in the logs, because from experience the Cloud Config errors ar at debug level. Whhhyyyy?? Some time later (way longer than it should have been) I realize I had never actually included the Spring Cloud Config starter. Boot 101, get your starter!
Since config client is just additional setup in properties.yml, there’s no issue of the dep isn’t there, it just doesn’t try to get the config.

The containers are still unhealthy, I can hear them screaming. But now at least it’s about something else...