"We are looking for a developer with 10 years of GDPR experience."

My son came from kindergarten with a picture he painted. And that's what I found on the backside of the paper.

Nothing is more permanent than a temporary fix.

Dear gradle, no offense but I believe Rome took less time to build!

This better be the bestest update in the whole wide world

I think I just broke the (only) USB C port on my MacBook so I’m racing to push about 30 git repos before the battery dies forever

Buzzword dictionary to deal with annoying clients:

AI—regression
Big data—data
Blockchain—database
Algorithm—automated decision-making
Cloud—Internet
Crypto—cryptocurrency
Dark web—Onion service
Data science—statistics done by nonstatisticians
Disruption—competition
Viral—popular
IoT—malware-ready device

So in Telegram there is this funny little game called Lumberjack where you need to click left and right to cut the branches. My and my fellow students played this in the group. Then I got bored for like 30 minutes and decided to write a little bot which checks where the branches are with pixel detection and sends a left/right click to the window. Imagine my friends faces when all of sudden my score was 500+ and the character ran through this like a fucking jackhammer :D
#justmebeingaprogrammer

buzzword translations:

"cloud" -> someones computer

"big data" -> lots of somewhat irrelevant data

"ai" -> if if if if if if if if if if if if if else

"algorithm" -> something that works but you don't know why

"secure" -> https://

"cyber security" -> kali linux + black hoodie

"innovation" -> adding something completely irrelevant such as making a poop emoji talk

"blockchain" -> we make lots of backups

"privacy" -> we store your data, we just don't tell you about it

Found this on Twitter 😂

Client side validation be like:

Am I the only one that likes doing things alone?

I just visited a data center for the first time in my life.

I'm in love 😍

:^)
For real though, to each their own in the end.
I accept MacOS for development, but Apple hardware is just price gouging.

Apple: Born to be fruit

Linux/Unix: Born to be root

Windows: Born to re boot

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Easyyy !!♥

Android Studio the great 😂

Most useless things are mysql error messages lol

Found this book in my coworker's desk. Amateurs, still at the learning phase :P

When you Start Up Android Studio to do some development but spend 1h fixing random gradle errors.

RandomGuy: I can't seem to play some videos on my laptop. Can you help?

LinuxPro: You have to install Arch Linux to do that. Windows 10 sucks.

🤔
sql - Syntax error near '*entire sql command*'
😑

A recursive bar walks into itself.

I was going to wait out hurricane Harvey by programming, but i Just realized my house is about to flood.

Oh joy.

Please don't include generated files in source control.

So YouTube is busy soft launching it's new look and guess what?... It has a dark theme!

Agreed! 😇😇

Talk about tough questions.

My last internship (it was awesome). A programmer developed a vacation/free day request application for internal use.
Asked if I could test it for security.
The dev working on it thought that was a very good idea as he wasn't much into security and explained how the authentication process worked.
I immediately noticed a flaw just from his explanation. He said it was secure anyways (with an explanation but his way of thinking was wrong in this case). Asked if I was allowed to show him. He said he was intrigued by this so gave me a yes right away.

For the record, user levels were normal user, general admin and super admin (he was the only super admin).

Wrote a quick thingy server side (one of my own servers/domains) for testing purposes.

Then I started.

Went from normal user to super admin (his account) through a combination of XSS and Session Hijacking within 15 seconds.

Explained him where he went wrong and he wrote a patch under my guidance 😃.

That felt so fucking awesome.