I think I just broke the (only) USB C port on my MacBook so I’m racing to push about 30 git repos before the battery dies forever

My senior dev, shortens “analytics” into “anal” variables. Iam literally dying while Reading through the code!

im lowkey dying

Me: (putting headphones on)

Boss: You are an engineer. You need to focus. You cannot multitask. Nobody can. You need to concentrate on the work and deliver. If you ...blah.blah.blah.

Me: 😃 hmm yes you are right (dying on the inside)

Boss: if you are listening songs, your attention is towards that, you learn nothing of what you are working on.

Me: 😃 True Indeed.

Inner me 👿: Motherfucker. I use headphones so I don't have to listen to you giggling about with your mates in a bragging battle, in a language I do not understand, which is noise to me.
And technically, I do not listen to songs, I listen to music, while doing repeated tasks, so that I can overcome the boredom and do it quick in a rhythm.
But you wouldn't understand now, would you, YOU OLD FART, you fuckin Remnant of the Ancient times.

Slowly dying...

Friend: what do you do for living?

Me: I am a developer, software engineer.

Friend: Lucky you! you have a comfortable work, always in your desk.

Me inside: *he doesn't have a clue about developer​s struggling* *dying inside*

Day 1 of Defcon...Python fan boy tells me that Java is a dying language. I laughed.

*Male devs dying of heat, air quality almost requires a rebreather*

*opens window*

2 seconds later
Female dev: "I am cold"

😑🔫

[some cunt decided the gun emoji had to be removed. with all my heart, fuck you and your family]

Facebook: "Our facial recognition automatically tags people in pictures."

Tesla: "Our deep learning algorithm drives cars by itself."

Andrew Ng: "I predict patients' likelihood of dying with 99% accuracy."

Google: "You know one of our algorithms is going to pass the Turing test very soon."

Wall Street: "We use satellite images to predict stock prices based how filled car parks of specific stores are."

The remaining majority of data sciencists: "We overfit linear models."

ANSI is a dying art; but I want it to live.

Without even talking to me, why the fuck did you announce that I would be taking the project manager role. Who the fuck wants to do that monkey job? What the fuck is fucking hell wrong with your fucken brain.

You bloody piece of shit with masters from university and can’t handle fucken projects and client’s. Clients are complaining to me about you. Whole day looks for women to fuck during the night while we are dying virgin over here. Fuck you and I wish your dick falls apart.

I'm helping a friend with programming in c#
He's a beginner and wants to learn. He learns as easy as I do.

I saw his project yesterday and everything was written in one method. I thought I was dying. Then remembered my first project... he will be fine

My 1.5 year old 1tb SSD just died unexpectedly. (Samsung EVO 850). It might be under warranty yet.

Fortunately the only data I lost was my debian install, some steam games, bookmarks, and a few unfinshed projects.

I kept everything important on a backup spinning drive -- which is also dying. Joy. But I might be able to save its data.

Headphones.. I miss 'em already

yeeeah, seems legit xD

EDIT: programs like internet xD I'm dying

> Gained the skills to atleast land an internship
> Hyped asf
> Start applying for jobs
> Hyped asf
> Days go by without a response
> Hype starts dying
> Gets a REAL email delivered to my inbox asking to come in for an interview
> Hype levels regenerated
> Interview goes great and both founder and senior dev are fine with hiring me
> Founder needs to talk with co-founder first before giving the go and said he will get back to me in a day or two.
> The hype is too real
> 5 days go by without a reponse
> Hype levels: all time low
> Decide to follow up, founder said he left for a conference before the co-founder came back to talk about it and said he will get with her and let me know in a few days.
> The hypening is back
> A week goes by with no response
> I'm dead inside rn.

National Health Service (nhs) in the UK got hacked today... Workers at the hospitals could not access patient and appointment related data... How big a cheapskate you gotta be to hack a free public health service that is almost dying for fund shortages anyway...

brb dying

One of our internal customers to my team: "We need this new feature to be implemented as soon as possible! It's super urgent!! Work on it asap!! PEOPLE ARE DYING!!"

Us: "Ok, we'll prioritize this feature and deliver it as soon as we can"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

... One month later ...

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Us: "We're done! We implemented everything as promised! Please give us your credentials so that we can whitelist you and you can start using the new service"

Them: "Okay, we will get back to you"

... Two months have passed since then and still not a single word from them. I'm starting to wonder: are they still alive? 🤔

Dear Microsoft,

Please kill Internet Explorer post haste. The last time I want to hear "IE" is from the screaming sounds of your hated browser dying in a fire.

Sincerely,
A web dev

I’m trying to contribute on his dying forum, and he PM’s me this.

My hard drive is dying.

I thought to myself:

"It's alright. I have 5 years warranty. I'll change it"

Then I realized it has been almost 6 years since I've bought the hard drive.

I'm becoming old :(

!Rant
Yassss 🙌🏼 I'm dying. Your dog 🐶😂🤣

"Get your devRant custom cartoon avatar on stickers! We can now print glossy sticky-back 1.75" (4.5cm) circles of your personalized avatar to place on your laptop, your refrigerator, your dog, wherever!"
@dfox genius

36 degrees celsius here....

I'm dying...

You?

!dev related whatsoever fuck off if this bothers you

Just got into a big argument with my brother in law because the little bitch was exposing my father and mother in law(which I adore) to the virus by virtue of this little shit partying every other fucking day, going out with people etc and then having my in laws pick him up etc.

I am not gonna lie, I love the kid, but this shit pisses me the fuck off, my in laws are over 60 each and I ain't about to fuck with the chances of my child's grandparents dying because some fucktard thinks partying is more important.

Been wishing for the motherfucker that would since a while now, just hope it's not this kid.

After over 2 months of not opening devRant, here I go again.

My dad's laptop is dying so I decided to give him my old one (because I ordered a new laptop). I asked him if should I keep Linux on it, or should I install Windows. He said "ehh, keep the Linux". So there it is! Linux Mint on top of Dell Latitude E6320 and another person converted to Linux!

Also sorry for not posting just a SS.

Wk92 reminds me of the time when our professor spent 45 minutes talking about the difference between absolute and relative URLs.
45 FUCKING MINUTES!!
I was about to just pack up in and leave mid-class because I couldn't take it anymore. But he noticed, looked at me, then continued talking with the most annoying smug smile on his face.
He knew that if I got another warning, he could get me almost kicked out.
I just sat in the back, headphones in, slowly dying.
And he just smiled...

THE RULES OF TECHNICAL SUPPORT
Rule #1: The Customer Lies
Rule #2: Rule #1 still applies when the customer is your coworker
Rule #3: Customers following instructions is like characters dying in a movie: if it didn't happen on-screen, it didn't happen.

I looked at the SL Q&A today and I already feel brain-cells dying.

Atother story about PC hardware and being... Not so careful.

A friend complained about his PSU fan being too loud. I said "well, maybe bearings are dying already".
The next day he messaged me and asked to suggest a new PSU. Ok, I threw him some links.
Leter, he told me what happened:
He decided to clean the PSU, because he thought the noise could be because of dust. So he turned off his PC and removed PSU cover with a screwdriver. While doing this, he accidentally hit the circuit board itself. Then "Puff", black smoke and smell of sth burning. Turned out he didn't switched the PSU off. Luckily, the screwdriver handle was rubberized. I'm glad he is alive ._.

Hardware of laptops today.
Displays: Glossy screens everywhere. "Hurr durr it has better colors". Idgaf what colors it has, when the only thing I can see is the wall behind me and my own reflection. Make it matte or get it out.
Touchpads: Bring back mechanical buttons. Haptic feedback dying with touchscreens/surfaces is a tragedy. "But we can have bigger touchpad area without buttons" ...why? the goal shouldn't be 1:1 touchpad vs. display ratio. It ain't a bloody tablet.
Docking stations: Some bright fucker figured out that they can utilize USB C. That thing keeps falling out with slightest laptop movement disconnecting all peripherals (guess why microUSB had those small hooks?). Also it doesn't have sufficient throughput, so the 5 years old dock can feed 3 full HD monitors just fine and the new one can't.
Keyboards: Personally I hate chiclet. And it's everywhere, because "apple has it so we must too". But the thing I hate even more is retardation of the arrow keys (up and down merged into size of one key), missing dedicated Home/End/PgDwn/PgUp buttons and somebody deciding the F keys are not needed and started replacing them with some multimedia bullshit.

My overall feeling is that this happens when you give the market to designers and customer demand. You end up with eye candy and useless fancy gadgets, with lowered ergonomy and worse features than previous generations of the same hardware. My laptop dying is my daily nightmare as I have no idea with what on the current market I would replace it.

1. Still dying.

2. Withdrew my application for some job saying "the environment seems unproductive". I'm proud of me. I've never withdrew an application whenever I was unemployed so this is a first. This time it wasn't them telling me I'm not "the right fit" and I kinda feel like I should do this more often but like what if I could survive the hostile environment and earn something instead of literally continuing looking for jobs and this is giving me anxiety and I'm rambling but I can't stop oh my god what have I done... 🤧

I'm dying 😂

Hey, devs.
Does anyone use trackball mouse for everyday needs? Is it worth it?

Old one is dying, considering different options.

I'm a front end intern and for nearly 9 months I've done almost exclusively CSS because that's the only thing my startup company really needed. I'm dying inside.

One of those "Fuck this shit, I'm outta here" moments! CEO, in a dying startup wants to go on a 5 day vacation to Mexico while I'm sitting here fixing production bugs! FUCK THIS SHIT BRUH

I’m dying

*runs code*
*code doesn't work*
*found no errors*

Me: (dying inside) Hmm, this couldn't be right.

IE is dead ?!

NOT SO FAST.

The whole singin in Visual 2022 uses... Internet explorer renderer and... doesn't work on a Windows Server 2022 because of... "Enchanced internet explorer security policy".

I'm dying inside.

Today, a friend decided to spam my phone with "haha" messages. To do this (bad) joke, he used an app he developped to send me automatically 10 times the same message... but his app has a bug, I already received 50 "haha" and it's not finished... my phone is dying and I hate my friend!

I’ve been programming with other languages than Python for so long that when I finally had to pick up Python to help teach my friend some python I felt like I was rediscovering a past life.

With Python I feel like King Fucking Arthur with the Holy Blade Excalibur, armored up and ready for fucking war.
When I’m writing a script I feel like I’m parrying and piercing my blade straight through that fuckers chest and slam them into the fucking ground. And leave their bleeding out cold dying body on the fucking ground with no hope in their eyes.

Although when an indentation error occurs I feel like I just fucking tripped over a fucking pebble and apparently stairs were nearby and I bash my head on all 1024 steps, get to the bottom to just to get some fucking Java Chad punt my fucking head like a fucking football screaming random reasons to not use python.

I really love taking HR mandatory training concerning covid-19 that apparently speaks for me.

Did you guys know that I was dying to go back to work instead of remotely doing everything from the comfort of my fucking home?? and that my biggest fear was that i would be at home too much and missed the workplace?
No? well, me fucking either. I was way the fuck more productive working from home that being in my office dealing with stupid shit all day because i was constantly being interrupted.

Pretty sure my employees felt the same way when I yelled from my office :"y'all this training is some bullshit and apparently you guys were fucking dying to come back"

and one of them yelled "ahhh hr speaking for me again!!"

Fuck brainwashed trainings.

When discussing how me nearly dying impacted my ability to do my job, I was told I was expected to deal with that in my own time. Expected to take holiday for hospital appointments. No flexi time for fatigue.

I threatened to sue. They changed their tune...

Worst technology I've ever worked with?

Microsoft-FUCKING-Access

The error riddled, varchar frenzy, disgusting ui, os and architecture dependent pieces of shit, powered by the cherry on top: fucking VBA, that are applications developed with this monstrosity have kept me awake trying to understand why on earth would anyone that is not dying of cancer already would use such thing to try to build anything.

I had to deal with load of Access applications when I first started at my current company. Whats left now are mainly legacy systems, I killed them one by one and whatever's left will suffer the same punishment.

If you develop in Access you're my enemy and I will destroy you.

When you think it can't get any worse you stumble across legacy what-the-actual-fuck-was-he-thinking-templates of your hopefully slowly-dying ex-coworker...

😲😲😲
Holy shit, wow I did not see that coming at all. I've this is all I've ever dreamed of as web dev but now I'm not too sure how I feel. Edge gone, safari dying and Firefox struggling...
I wanted one web standard, not one browser engine.

Here’s the meme, but my boy isn’t dying single. He’s mingle since past 3 years.

This guy sitting next to me is coughing like he's dying.. If he gets me sick that may become a reality.

Funny thing just happened. I called my bank to verify my card with Apple Pay. Here’s how it went:

> Calls bank with number supplied by phone.
> “Thank you for calling [Bank] Bank!”
> ...
> A minute passes and still ringing
> wtf.jpg
> About thirty seconds in and the ring seems fainter than before.
> [2:00] is it just me or is my speaker dying...
> [3:00] no, it’s definitely getting quieter.
> [3:30] why is no one picking up???
> [4:00] now it’s so bad I have to hold it to my ear
> [4:30] now it’s blending in with the white noise
> [4:45] yeah, no. This is only static now.
> [5:00] this’ll be good for DevRant...

> calls again
> same thing happens
> ohwell.mov

Let’s try again tomorrow, I guess.

Edit: like always, I forgot the picture

My MacBook's graphic card might be dying, or something I have installed or plugged in is causing graphical issues.

I was an embarrassment in my final meeting.

Kill me now. 😫🔫 ⚰️💀🥀

3 nights and no sleep !
I'm dying!

That's it, I'm fucking done with this fucking bullshit of a year, really, everyone is fucking dying, just end already

Did anyone else notice that the weekly rant prompt stopped working two months ago 😬?

I miss cigarettes.

Sometimes I am dying for a smoke.

This would happen to you after dealing with the web services of 2 campuses. Should have never stopped smoking eh?

Fuck

Hello darkness, my old friend.

My GPU might be dying and I’m hoping that’s not the case.

So I'm sitting on the toilet in my work, wondering how much time is left till I beat the specific impulse of a Raptor engine, and all of sudden the emergency allarms go off.

Weighting my options now: die in a fire or some kind of explosion, or go downstairs without ending *the thing*.

Dying Lannister-way or going out of the building and meeting my colleagues, with a very weird smile on my face.

...

I think I just discovered new levels of fast when it comes to using toilet paper.

Ok dudes, theres something id like to get a bit of help with.

So lately ive always been struggeling with this constant fear of dying that makes me overthink everything.

Im not afraid of the pain or the experience of dying. Im afraid of the meaninglessness of my life before (the current one)

I know that we are just animals, yet i cannot get over this creeping feeling of the unknown

Retarded client sent us 25 minutes worth of videos of "bugs". Guess I am getting cancer after I watch them. The way he works on PC, the mouse movements, the speed, ...are just magnificient. My stomach is getting more and more sick each minute passes. Pray for my health.

If things get confirmed, I may have news.
Otherwise, I have disappointments.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Lost my auntie to a very long cancer battle.

There is a long list of people that I would've rather died than her.

Why don't workplaces have a category of leave for "literally dying inside"?

3:40 in the morning... Finally set up most of the basic of Arch with i3. Been more than 12 hours... My eyes r dying... And so m I... Kinda swollen arteries near side of the head coz of overload...
And I have college tomorrow... Or today... Watever 😭😭😭

Rejoice! The internet isn't dying after all!

Why am I even in a company with no testers nor QA. Everything's just the dev and the dev alone.

So... I made a post last month about Portugal burning....
This month... Portugal has the worst drought in 80 years...
It has became so bad that animals are dying of hunger because there isn't anything to feed them, or thrist because there is no water...
Even water dams are empty...

Man... Is this the effect of climate change, or just bad luck?

Literally every single day.

I remember when I was dying to get in the field. Now that I am in I realized there are a lot of bleh moments.

Love my job tho, but shit ain't nearly as exciting as I thought it would be lol

1. I'm sick with a cold. I'm dying.

2. You know, it feels like some objects' destiny is bound to mine. Like this woolen shawl that over 15 years ago I used to use to keep my head warm in the heavy snow, then forgot it existed and now it resurfaced as I was talking to mom about my head being cold while having the cold.

3. If things go well, this shawl will come with me on my next trip. That is, if this cold doesn't make a stop in afterlife.
**achoo**

My manager's boss just commited on a delivery date a month from now. We dont know what is to be delivered, nor does the client. We are supposed to work on a platform that we know nothing about. And of course the catchphrase is : yeah just use big data and spark. I'm dying...

At school I was excited when our teacher said he will teach us programming with VS.
I was expecting C# to show my skills but the he showed us a big book about Visual Basic with VS Express 2010.
I was literally dying.

My godmother asked me to repair her PC... so when opening the case i realized that her "shady"(improvised wires) case fan was not working... so i tried to connect its molex wire to the psu, and realized i neded an wire adaptor because the psu could not support that fan(only had one molex, female, not male and female), but I gave it a try... long story short... I SHORT-CIRCUITED THE PC...(but it restarted after 10 minutes of me dying of fear that i destroyed her pc...)

"curl : The response content cannot be parsed because the Internet Explorer engine is not available, or Internet Explorer's first-launch configuration is not complete. Specify the UseBasicParsing parameter and try again."

Why the flying fuck do i have to configure some BS in internet explorer to use curl in Powershell? I thought IE was finaly dying, but nope!

PM: "I don't understand."

How do you deal with massively poorly-performing and unknowledgeable teams?

For background, I've been in my current position for ~7 months now.

A new manager joined recently and he's just floored at the reality of the team.

I mean, a large portion of my interview (and his) was the existing manager explicitly warning about how much of a dumpster fire everything is.

But still, nothing prepares you for it.

We're talking things like:
- Sequential integer user ids that are passable as query string args to anonymous endpoints, thus enabling you to view the data read by that view *for any* user.
- God-like lookup tables that all manner of pieces of data are shoved into as a catch-all
- A continued focus on unnecessary stored procedures despite us being a Linq shop
- Complete lack of awareness of SOLID principles
- Actual FUD around the simplest of things like interfaces, inversion of control, dependency injection (and the list goes on).

I've been elevated into this sort of quasi-senior position (in all but title - and salary), and I find myself having to navigate a daily struggle of trying to not have an absolute shit fit every time I have to dive into the depths of some of the code.

Compounded onto that is the knowledge that most of the team are on comparable salaries (within a couple thousand) of mine, purely owing to length of service.

We're talking salaries for mid-senior level devs, for people that at market rates would command no more (if even close) than a junior rate.

The problem is that I'm aware of how bad things are, but then somehow I'm constantly surprised and confronted with ever more insane levels of shitfuckery, and... I'm getting tired.

It's been 7 months, I love the job, I'm working in the charity sector and I love the fact that the things I'm working on are directly improving people's lives, rather than lining some fintech fatcat's pockets.

I guess this was more a rant than a question, and also long time no see...

So my question is this:

- How do you deal with this?
- How do you go on without just dying inside every single day?

soooo… Thing is, I'm really dying to try out that avatar editor since y'all have such cute alter-egos here. Can't wait hehe <3

How long till I can try again? Please, tell me! I'm dying to know!!
And I never got the verification code either.
---___---

Are devrant servers dying? Algo sorting doesn’t load more rants and recents sorting is kinda wonky.

I tried official devrant app on ios and joyrant with same results.

This is kind of a test if I can still rant or not.

That moment when returning correct HTTP status codes from an API become a feature request 😒

For the meantime I will need to deal with endpoints returning status 200 for everything, and status 500 when the service crash. 🤦🏼‍♂️

Family support? What's that?

I have a complicated relationship with the rest of the fam, so I have been avoiding talking to them for a few years now, and it's not like they've been dying to contact me either. Except for mom, who would sometimes give useful insight. The rest, no support, work-wise or not.

For the first time that I can remember I see ordinary people everywhere are unhappy with windows. In XP through win8 days I'd see people complaining about one crash here or there, but most of the times you had to be more experienced to notice why windows sucks.

Now, this week I already heard three complaints of people wanting to back to windows 7.

And I feel so happy... I feel waves of joy growing in me, as I burst in a sarcastic, obscure laughter.

Why do?

Because somewhere deep inside I hate windows.

Not becausebthe great amounts of frustration I used to have with it. But because it's so crazy I don't even consider it an OS, but rather a patchwork.

Microsoft's code base must be so fucked up they don't even know what to it with anymore.

That's my idea at least.

Buy it's good to see ordinary people are getting fed up of windows. This might be a way one of my dreams will come true, the day which Microsoft will not be able to maintain Windows anymore, and I think it's not more than ten years until we reach this day.

As a final result, if one day windows really gets to die, I want to be present, but not unnarmed, so I can shoot it at least 15 times, just to make sure this piece of crap is already dead.

Bye

While testing the newly discovered "primesieve" C library, I forgot to change the limit variable from 1e10 to just 10 when giving the value through pow to make it more explicit.

Now my PC is dying in front of me while trying to compute the Gogol nth prime number. Nice.

You don't know how shitty another developer's code is until you fix it.

Why are such many people afraid of dying instead being happy for being still alive?
I mean - if you die, it happens within some seconds ... done.
But on the other side, every other minute of your life, you just don't die.

So dying is statistically negligible.

I quit…. I have gone to start a farm. Farming is straightforward for the most times I will know why my crops are dying and intervene quickly. With systems they will die or people will break them. The system usually decides wen to work and wen not to work. Resolve issues by themselves after days..

Fuck it, i live in lebanon.

I work 3 PM to 1 AM as a daily office job. Then go home and try to learn programming. Wake up next day at 8:30 AM for kind of another work until 1PM. Doesn't pay as much but I have to try. Then if I get free time do some freelance on UPWORK with whatever little graphic designing I know to help pay the bills.

And the fact that even my laptop is dying is a huge blow. Don't know when it might give up. Has 1st gen core i5 dual core, takes ages to load Adobe softwares. I have wanted to hulksmash this shit, but can't.

If I'm lucky, I get a stress free 6 hours of sleep a few days a month. And my depression doesn't help. More sleep should ease me a little, but I can't afford to waste any time. But this is life, isn't it.

I was underestimated about tech skills and earning, because I use PHP at work. I agree that PHP sucks and it's used by a lot of developers who don't know how it works. But the legacy systems I work on now compose a platform used by more than 400K users. In addition, I used to use C++ for game programming and Java for web systems. Also I'm playing with Node.js and javascript for my personal projects. In my experience, I don't think PHP is easy to make things work as expected. Plus, I don't get low salary compared to the others in this region. It's always very hard to explain how I'm working as a PHP developer. At the moment of underestimation, I was feeling so bad, but I couldn't say anything. It might lead a religious argue. Any advice?

After more than a year I decided to download whisper (app) again and see what was being said near me.

Holly shit the app is a total disappointment, first it crashes my fucking phone the instant I open it, I try to open it again and my God I'm presented with adds everywhere and a load speed so slow a dying tortoise would run circles around it.

The app finished loading the content and it's a clusterfuck of insipid commentary and images, "I bought beautiful new panties", "my lesbian friend doesn't think I'm cute", "any girl want to talk to me?".

After looking at the decaying state of the app I noticed I had notifications, apparently my account is active somehow, I tried to delete it but as it turns out the app has no way of doing that, YOU NEED TO CONTACT THE FUCKERS!

What the fuck?! Who the hell made this steaming pile of shit and said it was an app?!

Nothing more to add, I deleted right away.

I am well done, burnt and carcinogenic. The constant pressure to always produce, always post a profit, always increase, always commit, always stand-up and succeed is fucking exhausting and ultimately and totally unsustainable.

There are never any fallow years anymore, or days of rest...our dirt is dying...and the earth is weary and worn out. Antartica is getting green...grrrr, and my head is melting too.

Why the fuck can't we slow down a little bit?

#hatehashtags C#needtheocean

// allow

#confession

I don't know what you guys think but I freaking love programming my own Minecraft client. It sounds childish but I love to see server owners rage when they see their Servers dying because of my exploits. It's a good feeling.

But I got 3 DOS attacks afterwards so there is a high risk to make lifetime enemy's.

Let us all post our dark side of knowledge and the shit we have done to amuse ourselves!

Here's a thought!

Our bodies are mortal. And they are like flowers: they grow, blossom at their best and then begin their slow degradations, deaths.

Our mind is what seems to be the essence of _us_.

Now suppose someone finds a way to copy our minds into some tech so they could survive our bodies' deaths. Making us sort of immortal. Sounds cool, eh?

But that would make a copy of your mind. You would still be stuck in your mortal body while your copy would be immortal. Would you be happier to die knowing that it's YOU who is dying and not your copy, rather than dying w/o leaving a copy of you behind? Is a copy of you still YOU?

It could be YOU for others. But is it YOU for you?

(╯°□°)╯I'm dying! Someone press the escape key!

In my office, it requires security clearance, but the office is sooo fucked up it takes months to get it sorted

So, now in the position of people knocking at doors, annoying you at your desk to take your pass, often for large periods,,, leaving me sweating when im dying for a piss

WTF is going through MGMT heads,

Of course im sitting next to the fucking door, so when u sitting down to do some nice code, fucking knock on the door,

And wouldnt mind but its the same fucking Wagon who smokes, pisses and chats on the phone like its a God damn super power, as i type this im looking over my divider and they're rolling yet another fucking smoke!

I need out of this fucking 7th ring of Dantes inferno hello hole

Ranting after many light years (oops that's a unit of distance)

Damn Damn Damn.

There is complex workflow engine, and the only thing I know is once you fix and get success response from method A(), call method B().

After 2 days and nights effort, method A() is fixed and I am getting success response.

Now, when I pass this response to B()

One data is missing and hence failing.

Where the hell is that data getting kicked out...

I am in a dead end. I don't even know where to look.
Pinged engineers for help but all in vain till now.

Working on one of world's largest system, and I am miserable in debugging with this system.

And the worst part is there is nothing that I can turn off and on so that it works.

(Don't blame me. I am not that dumb. I just started using it since 3 days)

Intel is dying right now tbh. I hope the can get back on their feet but as of right now, chaos. They have had multiple ceo changes within 1 year and their current is a horrible leader. They have been really wasteful with their money (like buying McAfee...) And the inly reason they are leading in the CPU market, Tick Tock, is failing. It used to be Process - Architecture. Now intel has announced they are not changing the process for 8th gen, currently it's Process - Architecture - Optimize - Optimize - Optimize. Which is not good. It has been leaked that Intel is currently just hoping for AMD Ryzen to fail, let's face it, Ryzen seems really promising and might be the comeback AMD needs.

TLDR; Intel is a one trick pony and their one trick is failing. They have been really wasteful with their money and their current hope is that Ryzen fails.

I have an Intel CPU in my system and i find them to be better than AMD, but the tables might turn.

Childhood dementia is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.
You’re fourteen. You don’t have mental disorders. You used to be sharp. Yet, you’re not really there anymore. But your mother didn’t smoke during pregnancy, and you did nothing to deserve it.

Your personality, memories, everything that makes you “you” just rots away. There is no cure. You’ll never fall in love, never have your first kiss, your first boyfriend, never travel the world, never be a prom queen, never marry, never have kids.

You’re dying, and you’re too far gone to realize it.

the platform is dying

As I went through old open PRs, to sort them out and resolve them, I started to feel you do when you look at your childhood photos or in case of YouTubers at their old videos.

That is to say, I'm dying of shame.

*Well at least I'm cleaning them up now so~*

there is a dev in our company who actually does this:

if()
{
}

and not this:

if(){
}

This is unreal.

Remember to exercise kids!

My back is dying. Work equipment is great, but at home my posture is screwed from my chair not going high enough and my desk being too high for my arms to be parallel.

The battery of my good old Huawei Y300 is slowly dying. So I thought it was time to cut the battery consumption a little. What a delusion. A new battery costs < $5 btw, but I'm too lazy to order :)

I've tested 16 highly acclaimed (of about 20,000, didn't count all of them) battery apps - they're all!, and I mean all!, total crap. There is not a single app that does what it promises. And all totally fucked up with advertising - including some of the paid apps. Most apps consume more power than they actually save.

The winner of all this shit was the app "Battery Repair", which supposedly repairs broken cells. Well, well.

All that junk should be thrown out of the store. But, no, these crap apps have ratings of 4.5 - 4.8 with millions of downloads. I don't get it.

The only app that actually works is, hard to believe, Kaspersky Battery Saver.

So if someone else wants to "optimize" their battery - forget it, it's not even worth looking for it.

I can literally remember back in January 2015 when android studio was a fat piece of slow SHIT and to boot up an emulator it took me 5-20 minutes. Gradle build took 1-2 minutes. I was dying.

Now 4 years later in 2019, it still might be fat but godfckindamn it is fast. Emulator boots up in 2-4 seconds. Gradle finishes in no more than 6 seconds. Hierarchy opens up in less than a second. Performance statistics and analytics no longer lag or have latency.

Google has finally done a great fckin job fck u thnx

Facebook memes are dying. Really gotta stop soon to be honest.

23 days without a computer

I used to be a Java fanboy.

After seeing the modern things one can do with other languages I am just disappointed, that Java is so old-fashioned.
Some would say "BUT IT HAS LAMBDAS".
Good, that we have lambdas. We don't have optional parameters or objects (like in JS's {} or PHP's stdClass).
JVM may have many advantages, but I think, that Java is slowly dying although it is kept alive by some companies, still using Java in prod.
I think, that Kotlin is, what Java should have been.

I hope, that my wishes will be implemented in Java 10. If not, Java is considered as dead.

If you don't use AI for coding you're a kinda dinosaur. Cute, but that's all

If you also programm in your free time you probably know this kind of situations.

Situation: I'm currently creating my own PHP framework (I know there are plenty... I do it for "fun").

The database Connector Class wasn't working so after an eternity (around 2h) I just went to bed.
11pm: My Eyes open. I'm sure I just solved the problem in my dreams. (Spoiler alert: I didn't)

2am: I go to bed again. It didn't work.

Next day: I open the file add a missing required file. It works. I'm now tired AF and feel like dying and above all: I now get all the suicide PHP memes. Good night guys. I'm getting some sleep.

There’s literally poor people dying of COVID because they can’t get beds and my bosses are sharing shitposts on LinkedIn about fun “coming back to work games”

Anyone else feels Silicon Valley is slowly dying? :(
This season ended too soon with very little to offer. No suspense. Less humour than expected and stretched events.

Hopefully next year is better.

So i came up with indoor plant debugging
1. Keep a plant near your code
2. if you are writing a shitty code plant starts dying

☠️

Either Windows pulled some shit, my laptop's dying or my SSD's dying.

Either way, I just lost a lot of work I didn't wanna do in the first place but gotta redo now.

Since few days I’m sick. Literally, I look like shit and feel even worse. Some combo disease with fever, diarrhea and things like that. And despite that, I tried to work from home today. And surprisingly - I’ve made everything I planned to do: 100% PHP multi process server, which sends push messages via GCM and APN, emails and SMS (using different operators API and talking AT commands directly to modems). I’m a bit proud of myself. And now I feel like I’m dying, so it’s time to get some pills and take a looong nap ;)

this year i finally found a job where I don't feel like dying, and it pays well. things are going so smoothly that I'm a bit weirded out, in a good way.
the work as a dev requires creativity and is mentally exhausting, but i got a nice routine going on (not a lot of programming, mostly database maintenance), and even with the high pressure I'm still fine :)

Boooooy symfony has changed a lot since laaaaaaaaast time I used it a long time ago.

Some days ago I finished a little project I built using express and mongo. I want to port it into symfony to see how the newest version (which is 4) fares and I must say. I am really impressed and happy with what I am seeing :D

This sucks because I am going to be dying to use this at work and I know that I am not going to be able to use it unless i act all sneaky and shit

There is a special place in hell for people that use Boostrap, only to destroy it and recreate to destroy it and recreate for "customisation purpose"

I just spent a whole day figuring out what the fuck was going on with the collapse system that wouldn't trigger or was dying to trying to, only to discover that someone played the smartass by adding or removing a class when the collapse was triggered, so it would put everything in display:none

FUN FACT : ARIA-DISPLAY="TRUE/FALSE" HAS THIS EXACT PURPOSE, FUCKHEAD

What the fuck is this steaming shit!?
You fucking background apps, chrome and Firefox take all my resources to fucking open my Google drive?!

AND WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE 19 INSTANCES OF CHROME RUNNING!!!!

WHY THE FLYING FUCK DO YOU NEED TO DO THIS! LET THE FUCK LOAD!

I HATE WINDOWS! BUT THEN THERE ARE APPS WHO ARE FOR WINDOWS AND MAC ONLY!

I'M DYING NOW!!!!!!!!

FINE! EAT ALL MY 12 GB RAM AND FUCK YOURSELF IN THE CORNER BUT PET ME DO MY WORK!

Server bios corruption, yaay.
Server external backups, naay.

This happened just before migration to another server. I feel stupid for not having proper backups now, and molested by a dying panda because its less than 6 months ago i got the server. It was used, but still.

DAMNIT JUPYTER. Kernel stop dying on me when I need you. I thought this was a mutual loving relationship.

I have a cold. I'm dying. 🤧🤧🤧

I'm almost dying from anxiety. Can someone help?

Man I'm only 4 years in and I'm so tired of writing bullshit code that no one cares about. How do people do this for 20 years. I don't know. Motivation is at an all time low. It seems stupid to me that instead being out there with the butterflies I am dying staring at a rectangle for days on end. FML.

Hey Microsoft:

It’s time to murder the everliving f out of the pathetic existence that remains of Internet Explorer.

I’m stick of worrying about supporting a dying browser. Pull the plug and let the morons who refused the past ten years to make their systems compatible with more than one browser suffer the consequences. It was their own damn fault after all.

When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there

They call it security questions.
I call it social engineering backdoor.

I'm supposed to enter those questions after logging into my account and I'm not able to skip it nor to set a proper two factor method.

Well, fuck you. Did you ever thought about dying by a two factor method? Ever watched a Saw movie? You got the idea.

Waiting to find out results of interview. Dying. I need a change so bad.

Can't stop thinking about questions I wish I would've answered better but I have skin crawling anxiety during interviews and I haven't had one in a loooong time 😭😫 fucking fuck shit fuck universe help me out.

Ever tried to do something “simple” and it ended up taking several days and a piece of your sanity?

Trying to connect my website to a blog site made with Hexo has been that for me.

I am actively trying to not think about the fact that my live website is so horrendously broken.

Dying inside.

You either die a IT or live long enough to see yourself become the programmer

I don't know which one is worse.
Freezing of laptop while am important demonstration or battery dying in the same situation.
I forgot the charger back home and the only thing client could make out was that the software we made bricked my laptop right after opening it and that I was making excuses to cover it.

My computer is dying. It's been a slow, painful process where the screen starts flickering badly when the battery is low. Now it flickers constantly if the power cord isn't plugged in. Today the screen flickers even if the power cord is plugged in. (Tried changing the battery, etcetera) You served me well. I'm going to frame the screen and put it as a painting on the wall. Rest in peace friend.

Data Science MSc instead of Computer Science. Or realising that my first 4 years of work was as a Data Scientist and I should have asked to have my job title reflect that. Skipping faang, at least relatively early in my career (that's a whole thing I want to write about but not rn). Not spending a year out of work due to health problems & nearly dying.

It could have been better, but I've enjoyed it.

!dev

There are two weeks left until the PhD application results are published. But I'm having such awful nervous breakdowns. I don't even know, if it's anxiety or if I'm literally dying inside from something else. From an almost-heart-attack today when I got a trivial and unrelated bad-news email, to keep having weird dreams about things like end of the world and post-apocalyptic life, or being jumpy all the time.

... And it's not like it's life or death, I know that. I know that I can do other things if this doesn't stick. I know things will workout the way they should; I know all of those. But there's just something destroying my physical and mental health right now, and I don't even know if it's just the anxiety for the next big step in my career, or something else, or how I should deal with it.

... Anyways, amannoyed.

All the crypto bots and hire a hacker adverts make no sense. After all, they still need to either go through the API or make a selenium script. Will still take them 1 to 2 hours at least to build it. For what?

To advertise to a dying platform that has a dwindling community, which is on top of it well-versed in programming and technically affine, so that the probability of profiting of it is tiny...

My conjecture: A devrant member is pulling a long running prank.

I bet it's someone like theRealJase. Or someone like that.

My productivity is dying for want of a second monitor. I've been hooking up a new-ish HP external LCD to my brand new HP Spectre laptop. Every time I do this, the laptop soon locks up. Won't launch programs, won't even let me click the Windows button to restart. Have to hard reset and go back to single 15" screen. THEY'RE THE SAME BRAND?! WHY ARENT THEY COMPATIBLE?!

1. Work more on AltRant
2. Start (and finish!) a C-compatible original programming language transpiler with my own syntax and everything (I might talk about it in my next rant)
3. Somehow survive college (I am dying there someone save me from this torment)

In an all day meeting and someone just said "hail hydro" to project changes. I'm dying here. 😂😂😂

I moved from a dying S3 to an HTC M8 and devRant's running so smooth it's making me orgasm

OMFG, Dell, why can't you be normal and make your batteries die like any other batteries - by simply switching the laptop off immediately when the charger is unplugged???

Guess what it looks like when a JD25G (XPS13 9530) battery is dying (still 88% health)!

Constant screen flickering (yes, even in BIOS). Good thing I'm not an epileptic - my screen is fucking strobing!!!

I know it's a battery, because I had the same issue some years ago when I replaced the died original one with a cheapo made by GreenCell. Boi that was fun - I saw my laptop do miraculous things I never would've thought of! Screen flickering was one of them. As soon as I replaced that turd with an original one all these magic powers went away.

Object Orientation is not a feature, it is an unneeded layer of complexity over a dying paradigm, Imperative Programming

Learning the most efficient positioning with CSS grid, somewhat feels like my whole body is dying with an alarming rapidly increasing speed.

While talking about speed, this must be the shit that makes our youth turn to heavy drugs.

I can't blame them.

Babysitting CI pipeline that keeps dying for stupid reasons.

Our world is dying and we, as the ones that rule the internet at the most basic level, should do something about it

Okay I give up. I just don't get this docker networking stuff. I need someone to save me these sleepless nights and get on a call with me. A docker expert please. I am dying and my make believe devops engineer persona is crashing on me.

PO: suggests a new feature to be implemented

My dev colleague almost always responds no matter what the feature is: 'it's simple to do'

Me: 'Dying inside'

My d key is dying. I'm having to deal with 10x more typos than before. So annoying

Say what you will, but nothing compares to the excessive pleasure one derives from transitioning from a top-tier development machine, the mere sight of which inspires awe from computer enthusiasts everywhere - the type of machine that seems to glisten in the light of the sunset as choirs ring out from nowhere in particular yet everywhere at once to sing it's praises as it's many full HD screens aluminate the room to offset the dying of the light.

To a mandatory, work provided claptrap with a Core 2 Duo, 2gb of RAM, 90GB of storage and an integrated GPU that can barely stomach 720p before it starts choking on its own mucous.

Truly fucking marvellous.

I sure am still getting a lot of updates for a dying format (flash)

When your legacy retarded old as fuck frameworks are slowly dying and instead of migrating to new backend framework, losing some money but improving quality of our products dipshits in charge hire vue.js developer to try to replace jquery with vue just to keep this 10 years old legacy zombie crap alive for 2 more years..

How can you be this fucking retarded greedy motherfucking morons... it shouldnt even be possible

There's this odd thing that I'm experiencing in the moment of falling asleep.
I somehow remain conscious and can feel how the unconscious part of my brain opens a sort of portal to a dream world. I begin to hear sounds and my speed of thinking becomes slower.
That's when I get a panic attack and I am trying it again. After the 2nd or 3rd try, it usually works and I wake up in the next morning as if nothing happened and the cycle repeats again lol

That makes me wonder if a "healthy" way of dying will have this sort of transition as well.

So, I just did a rm -rf on an important folder. How should I get it back. Anyone know any Linux or Ubuntu tricks.

I'm absolutely exhausted...
Just spent the past 2 days restructuring our SAAS products entire server network on AWS just so we can have a static IP address for all our server instances passing through an NAT....because we need to integrate with another service that only allows you to access their API if they whitelist your IP.

People I cannot I am dying. Linux is killing me... :(

I'm just a piece of carbon dumping all the money away that was earned by hard work by my parents and other elders of the family....

Help me
I'm dying (well everyone is... but I'm a piece of shit)

Turns out the reason the current tester12 build of Linux 3DS hangs on my 3DS (at the very least) is due to it trying (and failing) to get the version of the onboard NAND (where the Nintendo-sanctioned code resides), which hangs. If I boot the known-working copy of Linux 3DS and run parted, it instantly dies due to my NAND making it say "Error: A partition cannot reside outside of the disk!"

Either the onboard NAND is dying or Linux is just being an asshole. Either way... fuck my life.

In reality, I'm really frustrated with my life, sometimes I thought that dying is easier than living 🙂.

!rant
I just had the weirdest dream ever!!
I dreamed that PHP is like cancer: It eats you slowly from within and eventually you die.

And the weird thing is that I use PHP for a project..
Maybe it's a sign?😱

We're hiring managers and engineers at a remote site, and the recruiter is setting up calls with skype for business. To use this-- even the web version, I have to run windows, so I had to dust off my windows VM to join. I fire up the VM, called "plague" in virsh, and...

Boom! An hour of updates and a half dozen reboots! And people wonder why windows is dying.

Feels like dying
I am just a shitty person overall

Sorry all for whatever I said to you that might be suboptimal

I’m finally getting used to C and my brain doesn’t like it lol. Finished a problem set in like 30 minutes but now my mind is trying to process command line arguments in main and it’s just 🤷. like how can it take anything without just dying?? it’s defined as a string, but it can be a number without dying??

You all know that. Seeing a presentation / poster / mail with a screenshot of a word document. I mean a FUCKING SCREENSHOT!!!! You may ask "How do you know it's a screenshot?". Oh maybe because every 2nd fucking Word on that whole picture has a wavy red underline? Oh for fucks sake I don't get it. You can save and export them to thousands of file types. Why do you do that? Printing huge posters to advertise your stuff with WAVY FUCKIN' RED UNDERLINES!! I am fuckin dying inside. It is just missing a scroll bar or a task bar with youporn favicon

When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there

On a lighter note I'm feeling like the old guy who keeps dying in groundhog day

Fucking painful backache.

My body is literally fucking dying. Last year was elbow and now back and shoulder 😭😭😭☹️

I'm fucking not able to connect my virtualbox's host only adapter to the fucking internet since 3 days now

Fuuuuuccckkk

Selecting a particular network to be shared will make me require to change settings every time I connect to different WiFi/LAN (Even though I couldn't even get that working)

Maybe even someone here can help me

Everytime I try to use company-wide libraries, I need to do damn reverse engineering. Why the fuck they don't put actual examples on the documentation!

PM: "We would like our automated testing / continuous integration in AWS"

Me: *Army crawling towards Jenkins with my last dying breath*

I think work is finally getting to me, I had crazy dreams last night full of stack traces. Woke in a cold sweat...

In a twist of events, I got myself into a tight paper deadline to help a friend, about a project that I haven't even been a part of.

But, now that the paper is done, hopefully my friend has to go to the conference just to pay for his sins (mostly writing/literature sins), and hopefully I get back into my machine learning adventures!

... I'm super fuckin exhausted tho.
Yesterday I had a panic attack while walking to the grocery shop. Was fun! Always wanted to feel like dying without actually dying! Yay! 🤪 (Wasn't that serious. Don't overreact)

Let's begin this year like the last one.
By drinking pretty hard and then only getting 3 hours of sleep.

I'm dying by choosing wordpress :(

How would you deal with the fact you might be dying soon?

Must be nice not to worry about work.

I thrown up blood yesterday, maybe I'm finally dying of natural causes

AMQ cluster is misbehaving.. Master is constantly dying, slave is starting under root rather than app account, connection to AMQ DB takes 20-40 seconds (while queries execute in <0.1sec and TCP probe takes <0.01sec to succeed), monitoring is down,...

I mean it's gotta be the virus - what else could it be.

!dev

Through life, I've heard some people say horror movies are bad, that they promote violence (usually religious people).

Of course I think that's pure bs, but I think I could provide one argument that is hard to deny, so here it goes, although I might go off rails at the end.

I'll preface with this: life itself is violent. Violence, the word, is mostly used to describe immoral inflictions of harm on other beings.

But you can also say that some deaths are violent by themselves too, event those that weren't caused by humans, like a disease or a natural disaster.

This would be the "visual" meaning of the word, "the way it looks", the shock of humans when observing something gruesome/violent.

That described, it's not hard to also think that technological advancements in modern western life has made such observations of violence very unfrequent for people.

And naturally, modern people get accustomed to the lack of these observations. So accustomed that when they happen they become traumatic.

Because of this, people react weirdly to death. One reaction is censoring the topic. Another reaction is trivializing it, as if it doesn't really matter.

Sometimes they can't even accept old people dying at 90, an awfully stupid reaction in my opinion.

Another interesting reaction is personifying diseases as if they were villains ruining lives intentionally.

Or at least that's what it feels until you look at them through a microscope and realize that diseases aren't more evil than bread changing flavour after toasting.

All of these irrationality and cowardice comes from low exposure to violence, and that's where horror movies balance things out.

Some diseases in the real life can put some of the worst horror movies to shame.

The human body itself is pending violence. Why? Because when you die all sort of worms eat your fucking flesh. And sometimes that happens even before you die.

We bury humans because of the diseases corpses transmit, but also because we don't like the spectacle and the aesthetics of the rotting process.

Just picture for a second bad things happening to your body, and if you feel that is making you too uncomfortable, then maybe you got too used to this too.

I think horror movies help us to remember the reality of our inminent and intrinsic violence.

In ancient times, you would live outdoors, stepping on dirt, and be very used to "bad" things happening to humans.

Nowadays, most homes are sterile clean, and it's unlikely to observe violence.

Oh, some family member is pucking blood and dying from something? Send em to a hospital, or an elderly care center. Don't need to witness that!

I understand and accept grief. What I don't understand or accept is the vilification of death, describing it as something wrong that shouldn't happen.

it almost feels like a burden, like you shouldn't die when you're young, that it's an unforgivable thing to happen.

Well thanks, society, you can't even fucking die in peace.

I would love to die (no suicide) in a mildly celebratory way, watching people around me smile. I think that would be a good ending for me.

But no. Most of my relatives would be fucking crying like the chickenshits they are, ruining it for me.

And that scares the shit out me: people usually say the scary part of dying is that they die alone.

Well that's what dying alone would mean to me: watching people cry instead of smiling at me.

When my grandma died at 80, with all the achievements she made, I considered her death a success, also considering how quick it was. And because of that I didn't mourn for too long.

In fact, I don't even consider her dead, and not because of some religious mumbo jumbo. I guess the memories are still alive in me, I don't know.

Some famous chunk of coal said once that he felt people don't believe they're gonna die. And I agree with him.

Another upside of horror movies is that they hurt nobody, which is why you can enjoy it and not get ptsd, unlink watching a snuff film.

I will also be fair and add that this might a be a cultural thing, but deep down desire for survival is a genetic thing could play a big part in this too.

Great. Hard drive dying on our server. Thankfully since I rebuilt the RAID, now I can handle a short then failure on a raid 10... Ugh. Stupid cheap drives.