Good Morning!, its time for practiseSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!

Todays contestant is a very special one.

*sitcom audience: WHY?*

Glad you asked, you see if you were to look at his linkedin profile, you would see a job title unlike any you've seen before.

*sitcom audience oooooooohhhhhh*

were not talking software developer, engineer, tech lead, designer, CTO, CEO or anything like that, No No our new entrant "G" surpasses all of those with the title ..... "Software extraordinaire".

*sitcom audience laughs hysterically*

I KNOW!, wtf does that even mean! as a previous dev-ranter pointed out does this mean he IS quality code? I'd say he's more like a trash can ... where his code belongs

*ba dum tsssss*

Ok ok, lets get on with the show, heres some reasons why "G" is on the show:

One of G's tasks was to build an analytics gathering library for iOS, similar to google analytics where you track pages and events (we couldn't use google's). G was SO good at this job he implemented 2 features we didn't even ask for:

- If the library was unable to load its config file (for any reason) it would throw an uncatchable system integrity error, crashing the app.
- If anything was passed into any of the functions that wasn't expected (null, empty array etc.) it would crash the app as it was "more efficient" to not do any sanity checks inside the library.

This caused a lot of issues as some of the data needed to come from the clients server. The day we launched the app, within the first 3 hours we had over 40k crash logs and a VERY angry client.

Now, what makes this story important is not the bugs themselves, come on how many times have we all done something stupid? No the issue here was G defended all of this as the right thing to do!

.. and no he wasn't stoned or drunk!

G claimed if he couldn't get the right settings / params he wouldn't be able to track the event and then our CEO wouldn't have our usage data. To which I replied:

"So your solution was to not give the client an app instead? ... which also doesn't give the CEO his data".

He got very angry and asked me "what would you do then?". I offered a solution something like why not have a default tag for "error" or "unknown" where if theres an issue, we send up whatever we have, plus the file name and store it somewhere else. I was told I was being ridiculous as it wasn't built to track anything like that and that would never work ... his solution? ... pull the library out of the app and forget it.

... once again giving everyone no data.

G later moved onto another cross-platform style project. Backend team were particularly unhappy as they got no spec of what needed to be done. All they knew was it was a single endpoint dealing with very complex model. There was no Java classes, super classes, abstract classes or even interfaces, just this huge chunk of mocked data. So myself and the lead sat down with him, and asked where the interfaces for the backend where, or designs / architecture for them etc.

His response, to this day frightens me ... not makes me angry, not bewilders me ... scares the living shit out of me that people like this exist in the world and have successful careers.

G: "hhhmmm, I know how to build an interface, but i've never understood them ... Like lets say I have an interface, what now? how does that help me in any way? I can't physically use it, does it not just use up time building it for no reason?"

us: "... ... how are the backend team suppose to understand the model, its types, integrate it into the other systems?"

G: "Can I not just tell them and they can write it down?"

**
I'll just pause here for a moment, as you'll likely need to read that again out of sheer disbelief
**

I've never seen someone die inside the way the lead did. He started a syllable and his face just dropped, eyes glazed over and he instantly lost all the will to live. He replied:

" wel ............... it doesn't matter ... its not important ... I have to go, good luck with the project"

*killed the screen share and left the room*

now I know you are all dying in suspense to know what happened to that project, I can drop the shocking bombshell that it was in fact cancelled. Thankfully only ~350 man hours were spent on it

... yep, not a typo.

G's crowning achievement however will go down in history. VERY long story short, backend got deployed to the server and EVERYTHING broke. Lead investigated, found mistakes and config issues on every second line, load balancer wasn't even starting up. When asked had this been tested before it was deployed:

G: "Yeah I tested it on my machine, it worked fine"

lead: "... and on the server?"

G: "no, my machine will do the same thing"

lead: "do you have a load balancer and multiple VM's?"

G: "no, but Java is Java"

... and with that its time to end todays episode. Will G be our most incompetent? ... maybe.

Tune in later for more practiceSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!

Worst dev I've interviewed?

"Archie" ran his own consulting business for almost 20 years. Prior to his interview, Archie sent HR (to send to us) his company's website, where he had samples of code for us to review (which was not bad, this guy did know his stuff).
What I found odd was Archie was the lone wolf at his company, but everything I found about him (the about page, his bio, etc), Archie was referred to as 'Mr. Archie Brown'.
Ex. 'Mr. Archie Brown began his humble career and 'Mr. Archie Brown is active in his church and volunteers his time in many charities ...'
Odd to refer to yourself in the third person on your own site, but OK, I like putting hot sauce on my mac & cheese (no judgement here).

Then the interview..standard stuff, then..
Me: "Given your experience, this is an entry level developer position. Do you feel the work would be challenging enough for you?"
Archie: "Yes, Mr. Archie Brown would have no problem starting at bottom. You see ..."

Almost any time he would reference himself, instead of 'me' or 'I', he would say 'Mr. Archie Brown'. As the interview continued, the ego and self-importance grew and grew.
My interview partner wanted to be done by using the escape clause, "PaperTrail, I'm good, do you have any questions?"

Yes, yes I do. I was having too much fun listening to this guy ramble on about himself. I made the interview go the full hour with the majority of time 'Archie' telling us how great he is.

The icing on the cake was my partner caught his gold cuff-links and tie-pin where his initials and how he kept raising his hands and playing with his tie to show us (which I totally missed, then was like "oh yea, that was weird")

After the interview, talking with HR:
HR-Jake: "How did it go?"
John: "Terrible. One of the worst. We would have been done in 10 minutes if PaperTrail didn't keep asking questions."
Me: "Are you kidding!? I had the best time ever. I wish I could have stayed longer."
HR-Jake: "Really? This guy was so full of himself I wasn't sure to even schedule with you guys. With his experience, I thought it deserved at least a round with you two. You think we should give him a chance?"
Me: "Hell no. Never in a million years, no. I never in my whole life met anyone with such a big ego. I mean, he kept referring to himself in the third person. Who does that?"
HR-Jake: "Whew!...yea, he did that in the phone interview too. It was a red flag for us as well."

Couple of weeks later I ran into HR-Jake in the break room.
HR-Jake: "Remember Mr. Archie Brown?"
Me: "To my dying day, I will never forget Mr. Archie Brown."
HR-Jake: "I called him later that day to tell him the good news and he accused me of being a racist. If we didn't give him the job, he was getting a lawyer and sue us for discrimination."
Me: "What the frack!"
HR-Jake: "Yep, and guess what? Got a letter from his lawyer today. I don't think a case will come in front of a judge, but if you have any notes from the interview, I'll need them."
Me: "What are we going to do?"
HR-Jake: "Play the waiting game between lawyers. We're pretty sure he'll run out of money before we do."

After about 6 months, and a theft conviction (that story made the local paper), Mr. Archie Brooks dropped his case (or his lawyers did).

I think I just broke the (only) USB C port on my MacBook so I’m racing to push about 30 git repos before the battery dies forever

My senior dev, shortens “analytics” into “anal” variables. Iam literally dying while Reading through the code!

im lowkey dying

Linux sucks.

Now now, chill. I'm using it as my main OS for a few years now. I know what I'm talking and this title is a bit click-baity, but this just has to go out there:

1. It's usable as a Windows replacement just fine - FALSE. XFCE4 is years old and buggy as hell especially on multi-monitor set-up, Gnome3 gets stuck more often than my Windows 98 machine used to, KDE is like a rich kid on meth. Plug in Bluetooth headphones? Well no, sorry, you have to research that online, since you'll probably need to install some packages for it to work. Did I say "work"? Well no, because after more research you realize that Debian on Gnome3 on gdm3 launches pulseaudio on its own, so you have 2 instances of pulseaudio, and one of them is stealing your headphones sometimes and you either have no sound or shitty sound. How do I know that you ask? The same way I know everything else - every time you try to do something new on any Linux, it involves a ton of research. Exciting research, don't get me wrong, but at this point it looks more like a toy than a reliable desktop computer operating system.

2. And why am I using pulseaudio? Why not alsa? years ago people were discussing on forums that pulseaudio is old and dead, yet here we are with new LTS release of Ubuntu still shining with Pulseaudio. How about several different service management systems being deprecated by new ones, each having different configurations and calling methods? Apparently systemd is old and lame now. It's a mix of 10 year old software that works badly, with a 5 year old replacement that works worse, somehow trying to live under the same roof. Does it work? Ask my headphones who sound like a fucking dial-up modem.

3. Let's talk about displays, shall we? xorg is old and deprecated, right? We got Wayland that's mostly stable. Don't know what that is? That's just basic knowledge for Linux. And when you try to install network-manager, it also tries to install Mir toolkits. Because why the fuck not install 3 display managers when you want a network manager, of which one is old and dying, one is young and stupid, and another is an infant that died of cancer?

4. Want to integrate with Google Drive? Yeah, there's a tool that mounts the drive as a local directory. Yeah only for Ubuntu. Want it on Debian? You need to compile it. Oh wait, it's on Ocaml, because fuck mainstream languages, we're hipsters. How do you compile Ocaml? Well you need to have Ocaml on your system, dummy. How do you do that? Well you need to compile Ocaml. Ok, how do I do that? Well, git clone, download and install some dependencies, configure, make... oh sorry, you're using libssl1.0.2g when you need libssl1.0.1f, nope, sorry, won't work. Want to install libssl1.0.1f? Why? You already have the "g", stupid! Want to remove libssl1.0.2g? Bye-bye literally everything that you have on your PC. But at least you got the "f". Does it work now? Well no, because you need libssl1.0.2g for another dependency to work.
And all I ever wanted was to get a fucking document from google drive (not nudes, I promise).

5. Want to watch a movie? Let me tear that screen in half and make the bottom half late by a couple of frames, because who needs vertical sync, right? Oh you do? Well install the native drivers maybe. Oh you have? Welcome to eternal Boot to Recovery mode, motherfucka!

---------------------------------

Yeah, most of the times things work just fine. But the reason I know what those things are and how they work is not curiosity. The reason that I know the inner workings of Linux much better than the inner workings of Windows, is because in those few years that I've been using it full time, it has caused me 10 times more headache than I have ever experienced with other systems. And it's not the usual annoyances like "OMG it rebooted when I didn't ask it to", but more like "Oh, it won't work and I need 2 days to find out why" kind of stuff, because even if you experience the same thing again, it's always caused by some new shit and the old solution won't work any more.

I still love it, and will continue to use it. I don't know why really. Maybe because I'm not afraid of fucking it up any more? Maybe because I can do what I want in it and recovering will be easier than on Windows?
It's a toy for me, after all these years. And I also use it for professional reasons.

But whenever someone presents it as a better alternative to Windows, I just want to puke.

Me: (putting headphones on)

Boss: You are an engineer. You need to focus. You cannot multitask. Nobody can. You need to concentrate on the work and deliver. If you ...blah.blah.blah.

Me: 😃 hmm yes you are right (dying on the inside)

Boss: if you are listening songs, your attention is towards that, you learn nothing of what you are working on.

Me: 😃 True Indeed.

Inner me 👿: Motherfucker. I use headphones so I don't have to listen to you giggling about with your mates in a bragging battle, in a language I do not understand, which is noise to me.
And technically, I do not listen to songs, I listen to music, while doing repeated tasks, so that I can overcome the boredom and do it quick in a rhythm.
But you wouldn't understand now, would you, YOU OLD FART, you fuckin Remnant of the Ancient times.

Saw this on Quara

Slowly dying...

Friend: what do you do for living?

Me: I am a developer, software engineer.

Friend: Lucky you! you have a comfortable work, always in your desk.

Me inside: *he doesn't have a clue about developer​s struggling* *dying inside*

Day 1 of Defcon...Python fan boy tells me that Java is a dying language. I laughed.

*Male devs dying of heat, air quality almost requires a rebreather*

*opens window*

2 seconds later
Female dev: "I am cold"

😑🔫

[some cunt decided the gun emoji had to be removed. with all my heart, fuck you and your family]

ANSI is a dying art; but I want it to live.

Facebook: "Our facial recognition automatically tags people in pictures."

Tesla: "Our deep learning algorithm drives cars by itself."

Andrew Ng: "I predict patients' likelihood of dying with 99% accuracy."

Google: "You know one of our algorithms is going to pass the Turing test very soon."

Wall Street: "We use satellite images to predict stock prices based how filled car parks of specific stores are."

The remaining majority of data sciencists: "We overfit linear models."

I really hate this company.

The code is a disaster. Every single other employee is a salesperson. Nobody has any bloody clue what I do or how difficult it is. They don't care about stability (unless things are crashing), maintenance (until crashing), code quality (until it delays features), or anything apart from shiny new features they can sell. The boss (the king salesman, if ever there was one) doesn't know how to manage, but tries to by acting like his "nice asshole" self -- he's an asshole that gives you passes, makes sure it's bloody obvious that he's doing it begrudgingly, yet everything is still absolutely your fault. If he arbitrarily decides it's too much your fault, he stops being "nice" and flips out on you in front of everyone. That's a "nice asshole": an asshole who can barely even pretend to be nice.

Fuck him.

And you know what? I really hate having to work next to these fucking birds, too.

Today was our weekly conference call, and I was both late and unprepared. I was too focused on my work, and got a ping 4 minutes into the meeting, so I obv didn't have time to prepare. Boss was also pissy today, and I didn't have much to show for my week, thanks to lots of little "OMG NEED ASAP" shit projects that all took too long, pushing back what I was actually supposed to work on. Which didn't get finished, of course, and today that project was "the most important" -- I suspect simply because it wasn't finished. AGADJFSKL. Cue the birds fucking screaming and never fucking shutting up no matter what I did. Blanket? No effect. Spray bottle? SCREAM MORE! Boss was yelling at me, the birds were screaming, and I couldn't think. Goddamn fucking disaster.

and yes, we have a macaw. A macaw and over 20 cockatiels. Said macaw decided today was a lovely day to just fucking SCREAM non-stop, and the tiels were doing their best to keep up. Thinking clearly during this cacophony? Not gonna happen.

Wait, "go elsewhere," you say? Somewhere quieter? Where is this "elsewhere?" We live in a fucking tiny house, and during the call it was (and still is) filled with sleeping people, and surrounded by a fucking desert. Who the fuck thought living in the desert was a good idea, anyway? Like, seriously. What brainless moron thought "You know what? This is a great place! Let's settle down right here," while trudging through the scorching sand and dust, looking at the basically lifeless horizon filled with large, hot, dry, dusty, barren rocks (aka "mountains"), and fucking dying from thirst? Probably someone so delirious from heatstroke they never actually recovered, and continued raving that it's a goddamn paradise to their heat-addled imbecile followers. I really hope they hallucinated a la-z-boy in place of a hedge of teddybear cholla and died an excruciating and prickly death. Fuck that guy/girl, too.

But I digress.

I seriously need an office that isn't a 30 min drive into gang-central. I'd work outside, but I live in the middle of the bloody fucking desert, and get heat exhaustion within about half an hour. Everywhere else in the house people bother me almost incessantly.

just. FUCKING FJASKLDFJGAG.
I HATE THIS PLACE SO SO SO MUCH.

'I've had such Zen lately,' Alex said. Maybe then, but lately? I've just been too exhausted and burned out from putting up with all this shit to get angry. Days like today? I could pour kerosene over everything and laugh as it all just burned to ash.

Without even talking to me, why the fuck did you announce that I would be taking the project manager role. Who the fuck wants to do that monkey job? What the fuck is fucking hell wrong with your fucken brain.

You bloody piece of shit with masters from university and can’t handle fucken projects and client’s. Clients are complaining to me about you. Whole day looks for women to fuck during the night while we are dying virgin over here. Fuck you and I wish your dick falls apart.

Everyone has these projects sooner or later;

PM: 'You have 2 weeks to finish. It HAS to be done by then because they will start using it ASAP!!'
Me: Working day and night to meet the deadline.

After 2 years PM comes by;

PM: remember that program? They're testing it now. They plan to use it in production.

Rghuu*~ (that's me dying a little on the inside)

I'm helping a friend with programming in c#
He's a beginner and wants to learn. He learns as easy as I do.

I saw his project yesterday and everything was written in one method. I thought I was dying. Then remembered my first project... he will be fine

My 1.5 year old 1tb SSD just died unexpectedly. (Samsung EVO 850). It might be under warranty yet.

Fortunately the only data I lost was my debian install, some steam games, bookmarks, and a few unfinshed projects.

I kept everything important on a backup spinning drive -- which is also dying. Joy. But I might be able to save its data.

yeeeah, seems legit xD

EDIT: programs like internet xD I'm dying

Headphones.. I miss 'em already

The last year my school installed MagicBoards (whiteboard with beamer that responses to touch) in every class room and called itself "ready for the future of media". What they also got is A FUCKING LOW SPEC SERVER RUNNING DEBIAN 6 W/O ANY UPDATES SINCE 2010 WHICH IS DYING CONSTANTLY.

As I'm a nice person I asked the 65 y/o technician (who is also my physics teacher) whether I could help updating this piece of shit.

Teacher: "Naahh, we don't have root access to the server and also we'll get a new company maintaining our servers in two years. And even if we would have the root access, we can't give that to a student."

My head: "Two. Years. TWO YEARS?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU RETARDED PIECE OF SHIT?! YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU DON'T HAVE TO INSTALL UPDATES EVEN THOUGH YOU CREATE AN SSH USER FOR EVERY FUCKING STUDENT SO THEY CAN LOGIN USING THEIR BIRTH DATE?! DID YOU EVER HEAR ABOUT SECURITY VULNERABILITIES IN YOUR LITTLE MISERABLE LIFE OR SOUNDS 'CVE-2016-5195' LIKE RANDOM LETTERS AND NUMBERS TO YOU?! BECAUSE - FUNFACT - THERE ARE TEN STUDENTS WHO ARE IN THE SUDO GROUP IF YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS!"

Me (because I want to keep my good grades): "Yes, that sounds alright."

> Gained the skills to atleast land an internship
> Hyped asf
> Start applying for jobs
> Hyped asf
> Days go by without a response
> Hype starts dying
> Gets a REAL email delivered to my inbox asking to come in for an interview
> Hype levels regenerated
> Interview goes great and both founder and senior dev are fine with hiring me
> Founder needs to talk with co-founder first before giving the go and said he will get back to me in a day or two.
> The hype is too real
> 5 days go by without a reponse
> Hype levels: all time low
> Decide to follow up, founder said he left for a conference before the co-founder came back to talk about it and said he will get with her and let me know in a few days.
> The hypening is back
> A week goes by with no response
> I'm dead inside rn.

National Health Service (nhs) in the UK got hacked today... Workers at the hospitals could not access patient and appointment related data... How big a cheapskate you gotta be to hack a free public health service that is almost dying for fund shortages anyway...

Just added Kotlin plugin to my new android project and what do you know, CPU went to 100% of usage.
Aaand the winner is: Fucking Android Studio!

brb dying

Dear Microsoft,

Please kill Internet Explorer post haste. The last time I want to hear "IE" is from the screaming sounds of your hated browser dying in a fire.

Sincerely,
A web dev

So today I basically "lost" the chance to enter this remarkable security StartUp. The dream made true... a couple of Python nice scripts, the logic test that wasn't that big, everything was going well.

I met the CEO, damn! He seems to be a great dude. But suddenly, a wild co-founder appeared.

The dude started to talk about money and how he didn't perceive me as a Senior developer (not even if my results were telling him the oppositive); he ended up with: you seemed to be Mid-advance.
I was like: Ok, I understand. Wasn't that big because I knew that I could have demonstrated my skills.

Then he asked about my salary expectations, I answered to him my realistic expectations, that to be honest, it wasn't a lot of damn money! Because, I really was expecting a chance to learn more, have bigger challenges, bring value, etc.

He said: Okay let me check this with my partner. But, that was a week ago.
Anyway, today I received an email from the CEO, with the typical apologize telling me that the vacancy will be paused by the moment.

Oh, I didn't mention that one friend of mine is working there and he told me a couple of hours ago that they have hired a Junior developer because he was willing to accept what they wanted to pay him. Puff it broke my heart, but I wish him luck because even though I was dying to be on that security StartUp, I’m not at the point to accept a misery of money to work harder, I just felt frustrated with that stingy guy.

One of our internal customers to my team: "We need this new feature to be implemented as soon as possible! It's super urgent!! Work on it asap!! PEOPLE ARE DYING!!"

Us: "Ok, we'll prioritize this feature and deliver it as soon as we can"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

... One month later ...

Them: "Is it ready yet?"

Us: "We're done! We implemented everything as promised! Please give us your credentials so that we can whitelist you and you can start using the new service"

Them: "Okay, we will get back to you"

... Two months have passed since then and still not a single word from them. I'm starting to wonder: are they still alive? 🤔

TL;DR: check polarity before plugging your DIY circuits into others!!!

*goes off to watch some Lucky Star and drink some booze*
*notices phone battery dying after 3rd pint*

But my charging cable that Huawei delivered with this thing is way too short... Well that ain't no problem, I can make one of my own 😎

But I'm tipsy.. sound I really enter the workbench in this state?

*goes off to build a charging cable anyway*
But what was USB-A male connector's polarity again? Oh, there's the fan's USB connector that I've made in the past. Let's check on that one. So, left is positive and right is negative?

*solders the wires on*
Snip, strip, stick, done! Well that was easy. I guess that all those failed soldering attempts and lost pads in the past as a means of training did pay off in the end!

*plugs phone into Raspberry Pi media center through new charging cable*

Strange sounds coming from the speakers.. well that's odd. Reverse polarity or maybe the Pi can't handle a 1A load from my phone?

*plugs phone into the 5V 5A charging hub that I've made earlier*
That oughta do.. current limits should be no more in that thing.

*charging hub makes high-pitch noise similar to the Pi speakers*
Definitely a reverse polarity, isn't it :') let's check on the Gargler...
Oh shit! It is a reverse polarity mistake!!! Should've checked this earlier >_<

*resolders wires properly*
Alright, finally done.. as I'm writing this post, my phone's charging from the Raspberry Pi through my fixed charging cable now...

Lesson learned. Always check on the internet what the pinout is before soldering anything, don't solder while tipsy, and be fucking grateful that this phone has reverse polarity protection in it.

Nexus 6P with all its shortcomings regarding power delivery and battery management, luckily it's got reverse voltage protection features built-in. Otherwise it might've costed me my phone. Always double-check before plugging anything into something else!!!

My hard drive is dying.

I thought to myself:

"It's alright. I have 5 years warranty. I'll change it"

Then I realized it has been almost 6 years since I've bought the hard drive.

I'm becoming old :(

!Rant
Yassss 🙌🏼 I'm dying. Your dog 🐶😂🤣

"Get your devRant custom cartoon avatar on stickers! We can now print glossy sticky-back 1.75" (4.5cm) circles of your personalized avatar to place on your laptop, your refrigerator, your dog, wherever!"
@dfox genius

I’m trying to contribute on his dying forum, and he PM’s me this.

36 degrees celsius here....

I'm dying...

You?

Let's portray Stallman as a malevolent criminal, dying on the creepiest hill, shall we? Apparently there's even people that make statements such as "if you defend RMS, you're just as terrible as he is".

Do you have any idea what you're talking about? Do you have any idea what the case even is?
Richard Stallman has a controversial opinion about a rape case committed by someone else. Gee, what a shocker, people have opinions. Does that make Stallman a criminal himself?

Oh but he's representing open source software. That's why he can't be there.
Oh yeah. Shunning him (and erroneously so) as another Reiser is gonna make open source look so good, isn't it.

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."
- Evelyn Beatrice Hall, writer of Voltaire

People are entitled to any opinion they may have. Just because you disagree with it (and in this case I do too!) does not mean that it can be used to criminalize someone and to ruin their career. That is just wrong.

Don't you just wish you can delete things from the internet forever?

I used to be a host on this show, not telling the name tho. It aired every Thursdays at 10 pm. And in case anyone missed it, the television station would post it on their youtube channel.

I was so desperate to remove it that I flagged it a bunch of times, but I knew it wouldn't work.

I'm dying of embarassment because everyone is finding it. It doesn't air on TV anymore, so that youtube channel is the bane of my existance.

I even got the idea to search myself up and delete any social media accounts, because I want to be nearly invisible on the internet.

That worked out. Except for that damn youtube channel.

I was a fucking 14 year old. I looked weird, acted weird, my mom made me dress weirdly. I was so nervous, I licked my freaking lips ON CAMERA. Not to mention, I had acne, and my skin was dark at the time because I was fresh out of middle school, and I did cross country in middle school.

Now I'm curious. Does anyone else have something embarassing on the internet that they can't get rid of?

After over 2 months of not opening devRant, here I go again.

My dad's laptop is dying so I decided to give him my old one (because I ordered a new laptop). I asked him if should I keep Linux on it, or should I install Windows. He said "ehh, keep the Linux". So there it is! Linux Mint on top of Dell Latitude E6320 and another person converted to Linux!

Also sorry for not posting just a SS.

Changed the battery and extended the RAM; 6 years old dying laptop resurrected.
What a great day 🤗

This is why development with Node.Js is tiresome...

The story is always the same. After several weeks, you finally understand that new fancy concept and you enjoy it...

Only to find that 8 month from now, it is going to be deprecated...

You need to refactor your code for the sake of future generations. Otherwise, your code will looks like a pathetic dying dinosaur...

Me: "Concierge, I have noticed this issue with live potential on ground a couple of months ago, just a friendly reminder that this still hasn't been fixed."
Concierge: "Well yeah this building is certified (god I hate that word) so whatever measurements you've taken, it doesn't mean anything when it isn't done by the electricians."
M: "Aha, back to that piece of paper huh.. taking measurements requires a piece of paper these days, doesn't it."
C: "Glad you're quick on the uptake."
M: "Well I have the brains in my head to do a proper measurement without dying, and the numbers don't lie."
C: "What do you think that the landlord is going to say? I'm sure you still remember that email "DON'T TOUCH THE ELECTRICITY!""
C: "And remember that she'll probably rather file a complaint against you than to let an electrician come check it, because the latter costs money for something that's already certified."
M: "Well that sucks..."
C: "The certified electricians certified this building. Your hands are pretty much tied."
M: …

*walks off in frustration*

Now, as for the rant. *inhales deeply*

YOU KNOW WHERE YOU CAN SHOVE THAT PIECE OF PAPER?! DOWN YOUR FUCKING ASS! WHAT DOES A FUCKING PIECE OF PAPER MEAN TO JUSTIFY WRONGDOING?! WHAT DOES IT FUCKING MEAN WHEN IT ISN'T BACKED BY A FUCKING BRAIN?!

Yet I apparently can't do anything, because I refuse to certify myself. Now you know why I fucking hate certified enganeers, and why I use that word. The piece of paper doesn't mean shit when you can't back it with an actual fucking brain. And requiring a certificate to do stupid shit, even for changing a fucking light bulb, or a switch or an outlet or whatever. Certified enganeers, because fuckers like that don't deserve to be called engineers. You know what, certified motherfuckers? FUCK YOU!! I can change it myself and I don't (shouldn't) need a bloody fucking certificate for that!!

Crappy day, entirely related to cars and trucks and other wheeled implements of doom and annoyance.

My car died this morning.
It has been slowly dying for weeks in a very unusual way (something electrical; we're not sure what), but today it finally gave up and just wouldn't start anymore.

We replaced the crap battery (it had been a crap freebie from my parents), which fixed the not-starting issue for now, but it still has lots of other problems. Fluid leaks, disintegrating paint, some lights suddenly or randomly not working, super long clutch distance, sporadic grinding sounds, shifter randomly not engaging, pieces literally falling off, bits of the interior breaking (like the driver's side door handle), the wiper sprayers bloody missing the windshield, etc., etc., etc. My poor, poor car. It was super cheap, and I've had it for a long time, so I'm not surprised, but. I love my car, so it makes me really sad. ☹

Anyway, we finally got the car starting again, and I drove to work about four hours late. I had worked super late the previous night (11:45pm), and had let my boss know already, so whatever.

As for the trip, I work ~40 minutes away, and with the poor quality of drivers here there's usually something dumb happening. Today... well. Today was one of the bad days.

Someone was in the fast lane doing 50mph. The usual speed of traffic is 80mph. They got annoyed whenever someone passed them. Minor, but worth including.

Later on, people slowed way down and gawked at... a port-a-potty. Seriously, a port-a-potty. It was on the shoulder where there had been some construction, so it's not surprising or anything. People seriously dropped from 80mph down to 20mph just to stare at this thing, and it wasn't even occupied or anything. It was just a port-a-potty! There was nothing else around! What could possibly be so interesting?!

There was also a random Penske (moving) truck doing 35mph on the freeway holding up traffic like 10 minutes later; no idea why. Traffic usually does ~70mph there. No blinkers or anything, it was just being slow and causing everyone to go around in a pretty traffic-heavy area.

The truck in front of me for ~40% of the trip kept waiting way too long to stop, and would then slam on the breaks. I almost hit him twice because of this, and I couldn't see around him, either. It was some giant pickup staying just in the wrong spot. I ended up driving partially in the shoulder so I could gauge when to stop by the car in front of him. He slammed on the breaks like twelve more times before he finally left. Jerk.

The same thing happened again like 85% of the way to work, but this time it was a different pickup, and there was a semi was behind me, which obviously couldn't stop very quickly. Fortunately for both of us, there was a gap in traffic to my right, so I slipped out of the way before getting squished. ><

Bloody hell.
Today has not been fun.

Nobody flipping me off or was doing their damnedest to prevent me from changing lanes today, though, so I suppose it could have been worse. Also I didn't die, so there's that.

Wk92 reminds me of the time when our professor spent 45 minutes talking about the difference between absolute and relative URLs.
45 FUCKING MINUTES!!
I was about to just pack up in and leave mid-class because I couldn't take it anymore. But he noticed, looked at me, then continued talking with the most annoying smug smile on his face.
He knew that if I got another warning, he could get me almost kicked out.
I just sat in the back, headphones in, slowly dying.
And he just smiled...

I looked at the SL Q&A today and I already feel brain-cells dying.

THE RULES OF TECHNICAL SUPPORT
Rule #1: The Customer Lies
Rule #2: Rule #1 still applies when the customer is your coworker
Rule #3: Customers following instructions is like characters dying in a movie: if it didn't happen on-screen, it didn't happen.

Atother story about PC hardware and being... Not so careful.

A friend complained about his PSU fan being too loud. I said "well, maybe bearings are dying already".
The next day he messaged me and asked to suggest a new PSU. Ok, I threw him some links.
Leter, he told me what happened:
He decided to clean the PSU, because he thought the noise could be because of dust. So he turned off his PC and removed PSU cover with a screwdriver. While doing this, he accidentally hit the circuit board itself. Then "Puff", black smoke and smell of sth burning. Turned out he didn't switched the PSU off. Luckily, the screwdriver handle was rubberized. I'm glad he is alive ._.

If you are sick...

STAY THE FUCK HOME!

It has nothing to do with how YOU are feeling. It’s about RESPECT for those around you.

Especially if you work in an open office. Coming into an open office when sick is like coughing right on someone’s face repeatedly, it shows that same level of (lack of) respect.

Almost every company I have seen fucks this up so bad. It’s the same shit every year....

People are afraid to take days and stay home. They go in and make everyone sick, then everyone is taking days off and we are “short” on people. Then the incompetent CEO is scratching his head as to why this toxic work environment could produce such a toxic result.

And one more fucking thing.

If you got a cold/flu on Monday and your in the office on Wednesday because you are “feeling a bit better” then your a fucking idiot. At day 3 you are just starting to expel germs while still being highly contagious.

If you come into an open office while sick then I would say...

“Smarten the fuck up! And start showing some respect for the people you work with!”

If you have created (or are creating) a culture that encourages this then I would say...

“Fuck you! You should be fucking smarter than that.”

————

If your still sitting there thinking something like...

“Well I have to attend the meeting” or some other shit. Then let me add this to the pile.

Not everyone has had a rosy fucking life.

You may be working next to someone who has a lowered immune system due to past medical problems. What may be a week of sickness for you could end up being a month in the hospital for them.

You may be working next to a person who has a family member dying of cancer. If you make them sick then they can’t visit that family member (colds can kill cancer patients) and you may be stopping that person from seeing their loved ones one last time before they die.

Don’t be a fucking asshole.

STAY THE FUCK HOME!

Half the Internet will die in 2020.

Hardware of laptops today.
Displays: Glossy screens everywhere. "Hurr durr it has better colors". Idgaf what colors it has, when the only thing I can see is the wall behind me and my own reflection. Make it matte or get it out.
Touchpads: Bring back mechanical buttons. Haptic feedback dying with touchscreens/surfaces is a tragedy. "But we can have bigger touchpad area without buttons" ...why? the goal shouldn't be 1:1 touchpad vs. display ratio. It ain't a bloody tablet.
Docking stations: Some bright fucker figured out that they can utilize USB C. That thing keeps falling out with slightest laptop movement disconnecting all peripherals (guess why microUSB had those small hooks?). Also it doesn't have sufficient throughput, so the 5 years old dock can feed 3 full HD monitors just fine and the new one can't.
Keyboards: Personally I hate chiclet. And it's everywhere, because "apple has it so we must too". But the thing I hate even more is retardation of the arrow keys (up and down merged into size of one key), missing dedicated Home/End/PgDwn/PgUp buttons and somebody deciding the F keys are not needed and started replacing them with some multimedia bullshit.

My overall feeling is that this happens when you give the market to designers and customer demand. You end up with eye candy and useless fancy gadgets, with lowered ergonomy and worse features than previous generations of the same hardware. My laptop dying is my daily nightmare as I have no idea with what on the current market I would replace it.

I'm dying 😂

A fucking rant to me from myself.
I want to take control of my life. I want to fucking change my life. Want to move my lazyass and want to work on myself. Want to build awesome stuff want to help others want to change something for good. Want to learn new stuffs want to learn new skills want to travel want to go see new place want to know about other countries and learn about their culture and want to tell them "we are fucking humans stop finding stupid reason to hate each other for literally any fucking small reasons. Stop fighting yes there are bad guys, really fucking bad guys who deserves to die. Then kill them and finish the matter stop fucking keep making complicated and keep involving more and more. There are little kids who keep dying and need our helps it's feel so helpless sometimes and we sitting on sofa eating popcorn and complying about government there are kids in every country who don't even fortunate enough to have basic human needs and there are people who fucking throw food over there mood. A fucking Mood. Gosh I hate people sometimes so much.
Don't know why fucking writing all this on a Devrant supposed to talk about our devshit but couldn't control more.
A introvert don't got many friends to talk this shit and most of them worrying about there Instagram followers fuck this shit .
And here I am fucking trying really hard to pass on fucking useless boring exams for fucking degree which doesn't speck about your skills or show to the world anything besides you are good at memorizing shit.

I'm a front end intern and for nearly 9 months I've done almost exclusively CSS because that's the only thing my startup company really needed. I'm dying inside.

This guy sitting next to me is coughing like he's dying.. If he gets me sick that may become a reality.

My MacBook's graphic card might be dying, or something I have installed or plugged in is causing graphical issues.

I’ve been programming with other languages than Python for so long that when I finally had to pick up Python to help teach my friend some python I felt like I was rediscovering a past life.

With Python I feel like King Fucking Arthur with the Holy Blade Excalibur, armored up and ready for fucking war.
When I’m writing a script I feel like I’m parrying and piercing my blade straight through that fuckers chest and slam them into the fucking ground. And leave their bleeding out cold dying body on the fucking ground with no hope in their eyes.

Although when an indentation error occurs I feel like I just fucking tripped over a fucking pebble and apparently stairs were nearby and I bash my head on all 1024 steps, get to the bottom to just to get some fucking Java Chad punt my fucking head like a fucking football screaming random reasons to not use python.

Hey, devs.
Does anyone use trackball mouse for everyday needs? Is it worth it?

Old one is dying, considering different options.

So I had to buy a laptop

I had a Lenovo G50-70 (2014) it was really good, mid-range i5, 6GB of RAM and to speed it up I've installed an SSD. 3 years (and some formatting) later it started being slow, I couldn't even play Minecraft anymore (and the battery was dying)

This year we're learning and using PCs for the first (real) time, so I needed a good laptop.

I started searching everywhere, Google, shops, Amazon... (Excluding HP and Acers for good reasons 😂) so I've found this Asus, which isn't really famous, but the model is UX510UX.
FHD display, Nvidia 950M, i7-7500U, really good battery, 8GB of RAM, 1TB of hard disk

I bought an additional 128GB M.2 SSD from WD (I'm sorry but I can't live with a HDD 😂)

All of this for ~700€
I'm very happy for the purchase, the laptop is all metal (pinky bronze, but I like it)

It's really powerful, I can play GTA with mid-high details without any lag. (Remember, I play GTA on the desktop with a 1080 Ti so my standards are high)

I'm happy 😄!

One of those "Fuck this shit, I'm outta here" moments! CEO, in a dying startup wants to go on a 5 day vacation to Mexico while I'm sitting here fixing production bugs! FUCK THIS SHIT BRUH

Retarded client sent us 25 minutes worth of videos of "bugs". Guess I am getting cancer after I watch them. The way he works on PC, the mouse movements, the speed, ...are just magnificient. My stomach is getting more and more sick each minute passes. Pray for my health.

*runs code*
*code doesn't work*
*found no errors*

Me: (dying inside) Hmm, this couldn't be right.

As a developer, I constantly feel like I'm lagging behind.

Long rant incoming.

Whenever I join a new company or team, I always feel like I'm the worst developer there. No matter how much studying I do, it never seems to be enough.

Feeling inadequate is nothing new for me, I've been struggling with a severe inferiority complex for most of my life. But starting a career as a developer launched that shit into overdrive.

About 10 years ago, I started my college education as a developer. At first things were fine, I felt equal to my peers. It lasted about a day or two, until I saw a guy working on a website in notepad. Nothing too special of course, but back then as a guy whose scripting experience did not go much farther than modifying some .ini files, it blew my mind. It went downhill from there.

What followed were several stressful, yet strangely enjoyable, years in college where I constantly felt like I was lagging behind, even though my grades were acceptable. On top of college stress, I had a number of setbacks, including the fallout of divorcing parents, childhood pets, family and friends dying, little to no money coming in and my mother being in a coma for a few weeks. She's fine now, thankfully.

Through hard work, a bit of luck, and a girlfriend who helped me to study, I managed to graduate college in 2012 and found a starter job as an Asp.Net developer.
My knowledge on the topic was limited, but it was a good learning experience, I had a good mentor and some great colleagues. To teach myself, I launched a programming tutorial channel. All in all, life was good. I had a steady income, a relationship that was already going for a few years, some good friends and I was learning a lot.

Then, 3 months in, I got diagnosed with cancer.

This ruined pretty much everything I had built up so far. I spend the next 6 months in a hospital, going through very rough chemo.

When I got back to working again, my previous Asp.Net position had been (understandably) given to another colleague. While I was grateful to the company that I could come back after such a long absence, the only position available was that of a junior database manager. Not something I studied for and not something I wanted to do each day neither.

Because I was grateful for the company's support, I kept working there for another 12 - 18 months. It didn't go well. The number of times I was able to do C# jobs can be counted on both hands, while new hires got the assignments, I regularly begged my PM for.

On top of that, the stress and anxiety that going through cancer brings comes AFTER the treatment. During the treatment, the only important things were surviving and spending my potentially last days as best as I could. Those months working was spent mostly living in fear and having to come to terms with the fact that my own body tried to kill me. It caused me severe anger issues which in time cost me my relationship and some friendships.

Keeping up to date was hard in these times. I was not honing my developer skills and studying was not something I'd regularly do. 'Why spend all this time working if tomorrow the cancer might come back?'

After much soul-searching, I quit that job and pursued a career in consultancy. At first things went well. There was not a lot to do so I could do a lot of self-study. A month went by like that. Then another. Then about 4 months into the new job, still no work was there to be done. My motivation quickly dwindled.

To recuperate the costs, the company had me do shit jobs which had little to nothing to do with coding like creating labels or writing blogs. Zero coding experience required. Although I was getting a lot of self-study done, my amount of field experience remained pretty much zip.

My prayers asking for work must have been heard because suddenly the sales department started finding clients for me. Unfortunately, as salespeople do, they looked only at my theoretical years of experience, most of which were spent in a hospital or not doing .Net related tasks.
Ka-ching. Here's a developer with four years of experience. Have fun.

Those jobs never went well. My lack of experience was always an issue, no matter how many times I told the salespeople not to exaggerate my experience. In the end, I ended up resigning there too.

After all the issues a consultancy job brings, I went out to find a job I actually wanted to do. I found a .Net job in an area little traffic. I even warned them during my intake that my experience was limited, and I did my very best every day that I worked here.

It didn't help. I still feel like the worst developer on the team, even superseded by someone who took photography in college. Now on Monday, they want me to come in earlier for a talk.

Should I just quit being a developer? I really want to make this work, but it seems like every turn I take, every choice I make, stuff just won't improve. Any suggestions on how I can get out of this psychological hell?

Today, a friend decided to spam my phone with "haha" messages. To do this (bad) joke, he used an app he developped to send me automatically 10 times the same message... but his app has a bug, I already received 50 "haha" and it's not finished... my phone is dying and I hate my friend!

Worst technology I've ever worked with?

Microsoft-FUCKING-Access

The error riddled, varchar frenzy, disgusting ui, os and architecture dependent pieces of shit, powered by the cherry on top: fucking VBA, that are applications developed with this monstrosity have kept me awake trying to understand why on earth would anyone that is not dying of cancer already would use such thing to try to build anything.

I had to deal with load of Access applications when I first started at my current company. Whats left now are mainly legacy systems, I killed them one by one and whatever's left will suffer the same punishment.

If you develop in Access you're my enemy and I will destroy you.

When you think it can't get any worse you stumble across legacy what-the-actual-fuck-was-he-thinking-templates of your hopefully slowly-dying ex-coworker...

😲😲😲
Holy shit, wow I did not see that coming at all. I've this is all I've ever dreamed of as web dev but now I'm not too sure how I feel. Edge gone, safari dying and Firefox struggling...
I wanted one web standard, not one browser engine.

Funny thing just happened. I called my bank to verify my card with Apple Pay. Here’s how it went:

> Calls bank with number supplied by phone.
> “Thank you for calling [Bank] Bank!”
> ...
> A minute passes and still ringing
> wtf.jpg
> About thirty seconds in and the ring seems fainter than before.
> [2:00] is it just me or is my speaker dying...
> [3:00] no, it’s definitely getting quieter.
> [3:30] why is no one picking up???
> [4:00] now it’s so bad I have to hold it to my ear
> [4:30] now it’s blending in with the white noise
> [4:45] yeah, no. This is only static now.
> [5:00] this’ll be good for DevRant...

> calls again
> same thing happens
> ohwell.mov

Let’s try again tomorrow, I guess.

Edit: like always, I forgot the picture

3 nights and no sleep !
I'm dying!

I miss cigarettes.

Sometimes I am dying for a smoke.

This would happen to you after dealing with the web services of 2 campuses. Should have never stopped smoking eh?

Fuck

Ok dudes, theres something id like to get a bit of help with.

So lately ive always been struggeling with this constant fear of dying that makes me overthink everything.

Im not afraid of the pain or the experience of dying. Im afraid of the meaninglessness of my life before (the current one)

I know that we are just animals, yet i cannot get over this creeping feeling of the unknown

The Interview (Part 2)

I feel like I can make 13 episodes of this shit. I reviewed another resume that has more than ten pages and contains very little useful information. What kind of pain, internal hemorrhage, brain damage, and trauma does one have to endure before he decides:

"I'm gonna make my resume thicker than old school Song Hits magazine. That would be really cool. That would get me hired."

Jesus Christ, I summon you again. I told you dying for these little fucks isn't worth it but nooooo, no one ever listens to me. iM gUnNa DiE aNyWaY, nAiL mE oVa ThErE. Now look at this shit, one "block" per page.

1. Each block contains the position, company, and responsibilities except each block is repeated over and over again for each "project".

2. Each project has no specific name, just numbers but Project 1, 2, 3, and so on just isn't enough so he used roman numerals instead. Roman fucking numerals. I thought that was the name of the project until I scrolled through the different companies he's been in and that format persists starting from Project I to Project XII.

3. Each responsibility starts in a new line, some are not capitalized so you don't even know if it's the continuation of the previous sentence or what except sometimes, there is no previous sentence.

4. The blocks aren't even arranged properly. He has experiences from 2019, 2018, **2015**, and then 2018 again, 2017, 2016, and so on. I know this because I tried to give the guy a chance. Maybe he's one of those good developers who are just absolutely terrible with these things so I tried to "extract" the gist of the resume.

5. The gist is "nothing to see here". He just did all of this to look like he has plenty of experience and the recruiter must have thought "Wow, I bet this guy would pass." He had five years of experience but all I got aside from the giant headers are "joined the project blah blah", "used <something so basic, it's not worth mentioning> to maintain blah blah", and something in the tune of "changed the scrollbar to blah blah".

Example:
Ass Licker - Project VII
Honduras Bitches Inc.
Joined the brothel.
maintained my twerky bitchy assfuck
Used Fontawesome and jQuery shit ass mothafucka some dumb shit here, I don't give a shite anymore, I'm dead inside.

I.. I just.. Why? I don't know anyone who have this kind of resume and yet here I am reviewing this kind of shit from the type of people I didn't know existed. Why do we have to take something so simple and turn it into something that is so difficult to understand or even look at?

That's it, I'm fucking done with this fucking bullshit of a year, really, everyone is fucking dying, just end already

Warning: pretty sad thoughts. If you're having a blast of a day, please skip. It's for your own good.

That feeling when you finish watching a piece of art. Be it a film or anime or anything. You're confused why you feel good, but at the same time you're hurt. You smile but the pain is still there when you reflect on the feelings and the experiences you had and you realise that none of it will ever happen again. No art or any of the past will happen again exactly the same way how you felt and experienced.

You think of the best friend you once had. Think of the girl you held hands with and time stopped. The first time you embraced her and knew you loved her more than anything, even if she didn't know your feelings. Think of your first kiss. Your first serious relationship. The last time you saw your parents, your wife, your children, family.

Now look at the perspective of the future and the past you: blissfully ignoring the certain end to all experiences until they all abruptly end reminding you of this and it hurts. Damn it hurts.

I will never be able to see me best friend again, nor will I ever be able to hold hands with her either. First time I kissed is now long gone. It's almost like you wish you were aware of how valuable and important the experience was and to not just throw it away like the last time and the several times before that. But the sad part is, you don't know which experience will make you realise how much you missed it.

But even if you do realise by placing yourself in the place of your future self, and you cherish the experience, you blame yourself because you could have either avoided it's end or did something better.

Like your break up: could it be fixed? Was it worth the little time you have on this plante?
Like your friends argument you had: could you have done better? Could you have stopped it?
Like your parent's death: could you have been a better son to your now overworked dying mum? Could you see how hard they tried even though you thought they were total dicks?

Now you realise that literally anything you do, you will have a problem with somewhere down the line. You're destined to be sad shattered and broken by every day that is tragedy.

But it's similar to art. After all, your life is a piece of art about how you died. Which is why you smile and enjoy the last second of the experience which you just had. That chest warming feeling will only last a little. You smile through pain, yet you realise its not the end.

Then again, its just my thoughts that i need to vent. Take it with a pinch of salt.

Hello darkness, my old friend.

My GPU might be dying and I’m hoping that’s not the case.

Why am I even in a company with no testers nor QA. Everything's just the dev and the dev alone.

So I'm sitting on the toilet in my work, wondering how much time is left till I beat the specific impulse of a Raptor engine, and all of sudden the emergency allarms go off.

Weighting my options now: die in a fire or some kind of explosion, or go downstairs without ending *the thing*.

Dying Lannister-way or going out of the building and meeting my colleagues, with a very weird smile on my face.

...

I think I just discovered new levels of fast when it comes to using toilet paper.

3:40 in the morning... Finally set up most of the basic of Arch with i3. Been more than 12 hours... My eyes r dying... And so m I... Kinda swollen arteries near side of the head coz of overload...
And I have college tomorrow... Or today... Watever 😭😭😭

So... I made a post last month about Portugal burning....
This month... Portugal has the worst drought in 80 years...
It has became so bad that animals are dying of hunger because there isn't anything to feed them, or thrist because there is no water...
Even water dams are empty...

Man... Is this the effect of climate change, or just bad luck?

My godmother asked me to repair her PC... so when opening the case i realized that her "shady"(improvised wires) case fan was not working... so i tried to connect its molex wire to the psu, and realized i neded an wire adaptor because the psu could not support that fan(only had one molex, female, not male and female), but I gave it a try... long story short... I SHORT-CIRCUITED THE PC...(but it restarted after 10 minutes of me dying of fear that i destroyed her pc...)

Because of my Swedish blood as soon as it gets above 45 degrees Fahrenheit outside I always feel like my blood is about to boil, and then I feel like I'm dying all summer and then I get used to it just before the winter comes. Then the cycle repeats

I'm a fucking Viking.

Rejoice! The internet isn't dying after all!

How long till I can try again? Please, tell me! I'm dying to know!!
And I never got the verification code either.
---___---

I die a little bit on the inside when a news headline says “sleeping more than 8 hours a Day is linked with higher risk of cardiovascular disease, and death”

Why must stupid people exist

I’ll keep that in mind, wouldn’t want to risk the chance of eventually dying!

Sometimes I have so much to rant about that I can't even manage to type it out....

At school I was excited when our teacher said he will teach us programming with VS.
I was expecting C# to show my skills but the he showed us a big book about Visual Basic with VS Express 2010.
I was literally dying.

My manager's boss just commited on a delivery date a month from now. We dont know what is to be delivered, nor does the client. We are supposed to work on a platform that we know nothing about. And of course the catchphrase is : yeah just use big data and spark. I'm dying...

PM: "I don't understand."

How do you deal with massively poorly-performing and unknowledgeable teams?

For background, I've been in my current position for ~7 months now.

A new manager joined recently and he's just floored at the reality of the team.

I mean, a large portion of my interview (and his) was the existing manager explicitly warning about how much of a dumpster fire everything is.

But still, nothing prepares you for it.

We're talking things like:
- Sequential integer user ids that are passable as query string args to anonymous endpoints, thus enabling you to view the data read by that view *for any* user.
- God-like lookup tables that all manner of pieces of data are shoved into as a catch-all
- A continued focus on unnecessary stored procedures despite us being a Linq shop
- Complete lack of awareness of SOLID principles
- Actual FUD around the simplest of things like interfaces, inversion of control, dependency injection (and the list goes on).

I've been elevated into this sort of quasi-senior position (in all but title - and salary), and I find myself having to navigate a daily struggle of trying to not have an absolute shit fit every time I have to dive into the depths of some of the code.

Compounded onto that is the knowledge that most of the team are on comparable salaries (within a couple thousand) of mine, purely owing to length of service.

We're talking salaries for mid-senior level devs, for people that at market rates would command no more (if even close) than a junior rate.

The problem is that I'm aware of how bad things are, but then somehow I'm constantly surprised and confronted with ever more insane levels of shitfuckery, and... I'm getting tired.

It's been 7 months, I love the job, I'm working in the charity sector and I love the fact that the things I'm working on are directly improving people's lives, rather than lining some fintech fatcat's pockets.

I guess this was more a rant than a question, and also long time no see...

So my question is this:

- How do you deal with this?
- How do you go on without just dying inside every single day?

Me : We need a resource that can help us achieve the deadlines that you set and the sudden requirement changes that arrive.

Manager: What are the requirement specifics?

Me: Candidate should have industry experience and have worked on such and such projects.

Manager: Better to take new interns. We can have 4 interns in cost of 1 full time.

Me: What about skills and relevant experience?

Manager: You can teach them right?

Me: What about the deadline then?

Manager: You will have 4 people to achieve deadline.

-------------------------------------------------------

I am currently in a contract for 1 year that expires in May. Should I breach the bond and run from this shit manager? Should i persist like a stoic?

Help me people, I am dying working under this piece of shit that doesn't even know where to type git clone and claims himself to be very technically advanced!

In my office, it requires security clearance, but the office is sooo fucked up it takes months to get it sorted

So, now in the position of people knocking at doors, annoying you at your desk to take your pass, often for large periods,,, leaving me sweating when im dying for a piss

WTF is going through MGMT heads,

Of course im sitting next to the fucking door, so when u sitting down to do some nice code, fucking knock on the door,

And wouldnt mind but its the same fucking Wagon who smokes, pisses and chats on the phone like its a God damn super power, as i type this im looking over my divider and they're rolling yet another fucking smoke!

I need out of this fucking 7th ring of Dantes inferno hello hole

soooo… Thing is, I'm really dying to try out that avatar editor since y'all have such cute alter-egos here. Can't wait hehe <3

Does anybody here know of some sort of blackout glasses? (which cover the entire eyes, not sunglasses which do exist in high filters, but leak sunlight at the bottom, top and sides)

My recent lifestyle has lead me to absolutely dying at the morning when I go sleep, because of the extreme sunlight, peaking through all cracks.

I am just fine during the day when I do my walks or drive to the store etc, but after a long night I just get very light and sound sensitive.

I think a decent amount of years ago, I saw somebody use some sort of small scale welding goggles for something similar, but I can't find any that are dark enough or aren't costing like buying a beach house in malibu.

Also "photophobia glasses", which actually seem to be for that purpose, cost like two malibu beach houses and a helicopter to top it off, because they abuse and cash on the fact that it has remote help to people that suffer from it.

I did also try just using blackout curtains for that purpose, but as said, there's always that one small crack where it leaks through and absolutely flashbangs me.

So it would be nice to have some glasses that filter pretty much 99% of light, but still allow me to navigate through my appartment, without having to break a leg or crack my neck (which would solve the problem atleast)

Hey DevRant,

Today I bring bad news. My little coding companion (little degu) in one of my past posts has done something to its back leg/paw whilst taking a fall off my brother's leg. My younger brother wasn't careful enough and the goo was unlucky enough to land on the floor injured. My feelings towards my brother and what he has done are still something I'm not sure about.

We took the goo to the vet as the goo was in severe pain. The vet gave the goo some morphine for the pain. It stopped looking stressed after a while and then it was completely chill. I was just so glad (and still am) that it's not feeling the excruciating pain it felt before. Because we don't have insurance, the price for the emergency consultation alone was quite high, but at this point I really didn't care about money...

The goo is spending the night at the vets where it will be free of pain and in the morning, the vets will x-ray the goo and see weather it can be mended. If it will not be able to be mended, the goo will have to be put down. But even during the x-ray or surgery process, the goo can die. Small animals and goos are at a higher rate of dying under anesthesia than other animals simply because you cannot feed them tubes. I just really really hope this will be okay.

Thank you for listening,

C3ypt1c

Another year is ending,slowly, without much of a hassle.
Here's to all those performers who are still waiting for the phone to ring, to all those students who thought they would be earning by the year end. Here's to that father who couldn't get his dying child to have one meal with him. Here's to that daughter who could not inform her imprisoned father that she has made it to the final. Here's to that 70 year old man who is still waiting for his son to return from the dead, to that 12 year old child whose parents just split up, to that girl who thought winter would be unbearable. Here's to that silent lover who is yet to tell the girl that he exists, to that girl whose new year text to her crush failed to yield more than a blue tick. Here's to that couple who had their child, to that scientist whose data sets are turning out to be promising, to that scholar who made it to the last of the Interview rounds.
Here's to that cancer patient who went into remission.
Here's to that boy who got a Hi message from his crush, to that girl who is getting married.
Here's to all those promises and resolutions. Once again. The ones we couldn't keep,and the ones we kept. Here's to that promise that our GPA shall rise again,that all the incomplete MOOC courses will someday be done.
Here's to the beauty of fantastic beasts, Star Wars, sense8, Westworld and all the films and TV shows that made us happy.
Here's to life that goes on. Uninterrupted. Fearless. Still.
Happy New Year

#confession

I don't know what you guys think but I freaking love programming my own Minecraft client. It sounds childish but I love to see server owners rage when they see their Servers dying because of my exploits. It's a good feeling.

But I got 3 DOS attacks afterwards so there is a high risk to make lifetime enemy's.

Let us all post our dark side of knowledge and the shit we have done to amuse ourselves!

For the first time that I can remember I see ordinary people everywhere are unhappy with windows. In XP through win8 days I'd see people complaining about one crash here or there, but most of the times you had to be more experienced to notice why windows sucks.

Now, this week I already heard three complaints of people wanting to back to windows 7.

And I feel so happy... I feel waves of joy growing in me, as I burst in a sarcastic, obscure laughter.

Why do?

Because somewhere deep inside I hate windows.

Not becausebthe great amounts of frustration I used to have with it. But because it's so crazy I don't even consider it an OS, but rather a patchwork.

Microsoft's code base must be so fucked up they don't even know what to it with anymore.

That's my idea at least.

Buy it's good to see ordinary people are getting fed up of windows. This might be a way one of my dreams will come true, the day which Microsoft will not be able to maintain Windows anymore, and I think it's not more than ten years until we reach this day.

As a final result, if one day windows really gets to die, I want to be present, but not unnarmed, so I can shoot it at least 15 times, just to make sure this piece of crap is already dead.

Bye

While testing the newly discovered "primesieve" C library, I forgot to change the limit variable from 1e10 to just 10 when giving the value through pow to make it more explicit.

Now my PC is dying in front of me while trying to compute the Gogol nth prime number. Nice.

"curl : The response content cannot be parsed because the Internet Explorer engine is not available, or Internet Explorer's first-launch configuration is not complete. Specify the UseBasicParsing parameter and try again."

Why the flying fuck do i have to configure some BS in internet explorer to use curl in Powershell? I thought IE was finaly dying, but nope!

Here's a thought!

Our bodies are mortal. And they are like flowers: they grow, blossom at their best and then begin their slow degradations, deaths.

Our mind is what seems to be the essence of _us_.

Now suppose someone finds a way to copy our minds into some tech so they could survive our bodies' deaths. Making us sort of immortal. Sounds cool, eh?

But that would make a copy of your mind. You would still be stuck in your mortal body while your copy would be immortal. Would you be happier to die knowing that it's YOU who is dying and not your copy, rather than dying w/o leaving a copy of you behind? Is a copy of you still YOU?

It could be YOU for others. But is it YOU for you?

!Dev / story

My phone starts dying gently but surely. Since last week I cannot use my jack input anymore, and thus can't listen to music in the car. I also compose music, and was eager to listen to my latest production (for reviewing purposes) in the car. In my frustrated search for a spare device with a jack, I found a pile of blank CDs instead. "Aw yiss, I can haz music in my car" I thought with a huge relieved grin.

I grabbed a CD, looked at my pc, and my grin faded instantly to an "oh" of disappointment: I deliberately did not install a CD drive in my computer.

Not losing hope, I grabbed my Mac and tried inserting my blank disk in the drive. "Clunk, clunk", the cd won't go in. "Ah silly me, I replaced that drive with a SSD". So I went looking for that spare cd drive.

After I found it, its SATA power interface was smaller than regular SATA devices, and any connectors I tried were too big. "Hmpf, ok, I'm desperate, let's remove that SSD in my Mac". So I went grabbing some screwdrivers, removed the cover lid underneath the computer, and removed two screws from the SSD casing, allowing me to lift the unit up, disconnect the cable, plug in the cd drive, flip the Mac carefully, turn it on... And burn my CDs, and finally I resetted everything back to normal, carefully removing the cd drive and closing the computer.

What one doesn't do in frustration...

had a play test session for our new shoot'em up game today. the dude said he keeps dying when he's trying collect the guild pickups. so he suggested that we remove the pickups, because they tempt him to try and collect them. yes.

That moment when returning correct HTTP status codes from an API become a feature request 😒

For the meantime I will need to deal with endpoints returning status 200 for everything, and status 500 when the service crash. 🤦🏼‍♂️

(╯°□°)╯I'm dying! Someone press the escape key!

Ranting after many light years (oops that's a unit of distance)

Damn Damn Damn.

There is complex workflow engine, and the only thing I know is once you fix and get success response from method A(), call method B().

After 2 days and nights effort, method A() is fixed and I am getting success response.

Now, when I pass this response to B()

One data is missing and hence failing.

Where the hell is that data getting kicked out...

I am in a dead end. I don't even know where to look.
Pinged engineers for help but all in vain till now.

Working on one of world's largest system, and I am miserable in debugging with this system.

And the worst part is there is nothing that I can turn off and on so that it works.

(Don't blame me. I am not that dumb. I just started using it since 3 days)

Intel is dying right now tbh. I hope the can get back on their feet but as of right now, chaos. They have had multiple ceo changes within 1 year and their current is a horrible leader. They have been really wasteful with their money (like buying McAfee...) And the inly reason they are leading in the CPU market, Tick Tock, is failing. It used to be Process - Architecture. Now intel has announced they are not changing the process for 8th gen, currently it's Process - Architecture - Optimize - Optimize - Optimize. Which is not good. It has been leaked that Intel is currently just hoping for AMD Ryzen to fail, let's face it, Ryzen seems really promising and might be the comeback AMD needs.

TLDR; Intel is a one trick pony and their one trick is failing. They have been really wasteful with their money and their current hope is that Ryzen fails.

I have an Intel CPU in my system and i find them to be better than AMD, but the tables might turn.

I was underestimated about tech skills and earning, because I use PHP at work. I agree that PHP sucks and it's used by a lot of developers who don't know how it works. But the legacy systems I work on now compose a platform used by more than 400K users. In addition, I used to use C++ for game programming and Java for web systems. Also I'm playing with Node.js and javascript for my personal projects. In my experience, I don't think PHP is easy to make things work as expected. Plus, I don't get low salary compared to the others in this region. It's always very hard to explain how I'm working as a PHP developer. At the moment of underestimation, I was feeling so bad, but I couldn't say anything. It might lead a religious argue. Any advice?

I can literally remember back in January 2015 when android studio was a fat piece of slow SHIT and to boot up an emulator it took me 5-20 minutes. Gradle build took 1-2 minutes. I was dying.

Now 4 years later in 2019, it still might be fat but godfckindamn it is fast. Emulator boots up in 2-4 seconds. Gradle finishes in no more than 6 seconds. Hierarchy opens up in less than a second. Performance statistics and analytics no longer lag or have latency.

Google has finally done a great fckin job fck u thnx

I am well done, burnt and carcinogenic. The constant pressure to always produce, always post a profit, always increase, always commit, always stand-up and succeed is fucking exhausting and ultimately and totally unsustainable.

There are never any fallow years anymore, or days of rest...our dirt is dying...and the earth is weary and worn out. Antartica is getting green...grrrr, and my head is melting too.

Why the fuck can't we slow down a little bit?

#hatehashtags C#needtheocean

// allow

I work 3 PM to 1 AM as a daily office job. Then go home and try to learn programming. Wake up next day at 8:30 AM for kind of another work until 1PM. Doesn't pay as much but I have to try. Then if I get free time do some freelance on UPWORK with whatever little graphic designing I know to help pay the bills.

And the fact that even my laptop is dying is a huge blow. Don't know when it might give up. Has 1st gen core i5 dual core, takes ages to load Adobe softwares. I have wanted to hulksmash this shit, but can't.

If I'm lucky, I get a stress free 6 hours of sleep a few days a month. And my depression doesn't help. More sleep should ease me a little, but I can't afford to waste any time. But this is life, isn't it.

Remember to exercise kids!

My back is dying. Work equipment is great, but at home my posture is screwed from my chair not going high enough and my desk being too high for my arms to be parallel.

The company that I work for has recently recruited a team for Web Development, so they don't have to pay a monthly fee to the previous team who designed their website.

They have over 3000+ products in the old website, and no logical way to import them to the new website. The old team was asking for 300$ to give them an API which would return the product details in an XML format.

Obviously, paying that amount of money wasn't logical for a dying website, so the manager decided to hire someone to manually copy the content from the old admin panel to the new one, that is until I stopped him.

My solution? Write a simple web scraper to login to the old panel and collect data. Boom! 300$ saved from going to waste.

Now, the old team found about this and as much as my manager was happy, they were quite angry. So they implanted a Google reCaptcha to prevent my bot from scraping the old panel.

I spent about 20 minutes, and found out once you're logged in to the old panel, the session is saved in a cookie and you are no longer greeted by a Captcha.

So I re-written a small portion of my bot, and Boom! Instant karma from manager. We finished publishing the new site, and notified the old team, only to see the precious look on their face. Poor guy, he thought I was a wizard or something 😂😂

That's what you get for overcharging people!

TL;DR: Company's old website team wanted to overcharge us writing an API to fetch 3000+ records.
Written a basic web scraper to do the same job in less than an hour.

After more than a year I decided to download whisper (app) again and see what was being said near me.

Holly shit the app is a total disappointment, first it crashes my fucking phone the instant I open it, I try to open it again and my God I'm presented with adds everywhere and a load speed so slow a dying tortoise would run circles around it.

The app finished loading the content and it's a clusterfuck of insipid commentary and images, "I bought beautiful new panties", "my lesbian friend doesn't think I'm cute", "any girl want to talk to me?".

After looking at the decaying state of the app I noticed I had notifications, apparently my account is active somehow, I tried to delete it but as it turns out the app has no way of doing that, YOU NEED TO CONTACT THE FUCKERS!

What the fuck?! Who the hell made this steaming pile of shit and said it was an app?!

Nothing more to add, I deleted right away.

Ok, first rant, about my struggles getting reliable internet over the past 6 years. It's not too interesting of a topic, but here we go:

I'm living in a more rural part of Germany and internet here is shit. I pay more than 50 bucks a month for 700kb/s downstream (let's just not talk about upstream...), which is meh by itself but it gets worse. Before this I had roughly 230kb/s downstream using DSL. My provider came out with a new oh-so-fucking-fancy solution for giving people faster internet without upgrading their lame ass fucking backbone and POS infrastructure from 70 years ago: they sell you hybrid internet which combines your shit DSL and an LTE connection using TCP Multicast. Not only do I get only 6 of my promised (and payed for) 50 Mbit, no, It's also a fucking piece of nonworking shit!!!

Let me illustrate:
You constantly have problems with web content (or any remote content) not loading because the host server does not support TCP Multicast. It either refuses connection altogether or it takes about 30-50 seconds to establish a connection. Think about your live when it takes two or three fucking minutes to load 5 YouTube thumbnails or load new tweets at the bottom of the Twitter page! Also, you never know if you a) have an error in your implementation of a new API or if b) the remote host doesn't support TCPMC (there's never an error for that! Fuck you!), your SSH sessions ALWAYS drop in the most inopportune fucking moments because the LTE thing lost connection, you always have to turn on a VPN if you want to visit specific websites (for example your school's website) and so on....

Oh and also, my provider started throttling specific services again these days with Netflix and YouTube struggling to display 240p, fucking 240p video without buffering when I get 600kbit down on steam (ofc the steam download is paused when watching videos). When using a VPN, YouTube 720p and Netflix HD work like a charm again. Fucking Telekom bastards

Then there is the problem with VPNs. The good thing about them is that they solve all the TCP Multicast problems. Yay. Now for the bad things:
First of all, as soon as I use a VPN, access times to remote go up by like fucking 500%. A fucking DNS lookup takes 8-15 seconds!!! The bandwidth is there but it takes forever.. because reasons I guess. Then the speed drops to DSL speeds after a while because the router turns off my LTE connection when it is unused and it does not detect VPN traffic as traffic (again because... Reasons?) And also, the VPN just dies after an hour and you have to manually reconnect (with every VPN provider so far)

And as if that wasn't enough, now the lan is dying on me, too, with the router (the fucking expensive hybrid piece of shit, 230 bucks..) not providing DHCP service anymore or completely refusing all wifi connections or randomly dropping 5Ghz devices, or.....

You get the point.

The worst thing is, they recently layed down 400mbit fiber in my neighborhood. Guess where the FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT CABLE ENDS??? YEAH, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY NEIGHBORS HOUSE. STREET NUMBER 19 IS SERVED WITH 400MBIT AND MY HOME, THE 20, IS NOT IN THEIR FUCKING SERVICE REGION. Even though there is a fucking cable with the cable companies name on it on my property, even leading up to my house! They still refuse to acknowledge it! FUCK YOU!!!!

Well anyways thanks for reading. Any of you got the same problems? :/

Why are such many people afraid of dying instead being happy for being still alive?
I mean - if you die, it happens within some seconds ... done.
But on the other side, every other minute of your life, you just don't die.

So dying is statistically negligible.

23 days without a computer

The battery of my good old Huawei Y300 is slowly dying. So I thought it was time to cut the battery consumption a little. What a delusion. A new battery costs < $5 btw, but I'm too lazy to order :)

I've tested 16 highly acclaimed (of about 20,000, didn't count all of them) battery apps - they're all!, and I mean all!, total crap. There is not a single app that does what it promises. And all totally fucked up with advertising - including some of the paid apps. Most apps consume more power than they actually save.

The winner of all this shit was the app "Battery Repair", which supposedly repairs broken cells. Well, well.

All that junk should be thrown out of the store. But, no, these crap apps have ratings of 4.5 - 4.8 with millions of downloads. I don't get it.

The only app that actually works is, hard to believe, Kaspersky Battery Saver.

So if someone else wants to "optimize" their battery - forget it, it's not even worth looking for it.

Facebook memes are dying. Really gotta stop soon to be honest.

Hey Microsoft:

It’s time to murder the everliving f out of the pathetic existence that remains of Internet Explorer.

I’m stick of worrying about supporting a dying browser. Pull the plug and let the morons who refused the past ten years to make their systems compatible with more than one browser suffer the consequences. It was their own damn fault after all.

Since few days I’m sick. Literally, I look like shit and feel even worse. Some combo disease with fever, diarrhea and things like that. And despite that, I tried to work from home today. And surprisingly - I’ve made everything I planned to do: 100% PHP multi process server, which sends push messages via GCM and APN, emails and SMS (using different operators API and talking AT commands directly to modems). I’m a bit proud of myself. And now I feel like I’m dying, so it’s time to get some pills and take a looong nap ;)

Either Windows pulled some shit, my laptop's dying or my SSD's dying.

Either way, I just lost a lot of work I didn't wanna do in the first place but gotta redo now.

I used to be a Java fanboy.

After seeing the modern things one can do with other languages I am just disappointed, that Java is so old-fashioned.
Some would say "BUT IT HAS LAMBDAS".
Good, that we have lambdas. We don't have optional parameters or objects (like in JS's {} or PHP's stdClass).
JVM may have many advantages, but I think, that Java is slowly dying although it is kept alive by some companies, still using Java in prod.
I think, that Kotlin is, what Java should have been.

I hope, that my wishes will be implemented in Java 10. If not, Java is considered as dead.

Well it's a bit long but worth reading, two crazy stories in one rant:

So there are 2 things to consider as being my first job. If entrepreneurship counts, when I was 16 my developer friend and I created a small local music magazine website. We had 2 editors and 12 writers, all music enthusiasts of more or less our age. We used a CMS to let them add the content. We used a non-profit organization mentorship and got us a mentor which already had his exit, and was close to his next one. The guy was purely a genius, he taught us all about business plans, advertising, SEO, no-pay model for the young journalists (we promised to give formal journalist certificates and salary when the site grows up)
We hired a designer, we hired a flash expert to make some advertising campaigns and started filling the site with content.

Due to our programming enthusiasm we added to the raw CMS some really cool automation: We scanned our country's radio charts each week using a cron job and the charts' RSS, made a bot to search the songs on youtube and posted the first search result as an embedded video using some reg-exps. This was one of the most fun coding times I've had. Doing these crazy stuff with none to little prior knowledge really proved me I can do anything with the power of will.

Then my partner travelled to work in an internship in the Netherlands and I was too lazy to continue it on my own and it closed, not so surprisingly for a 16 years old slacker boy.

Then the mentor offered my real first job. He had a huge forum (14GB of historical SQL) but it was dying, the CMS version was very old and he wanted me to upgrade it to the latest. It didn't seem hard at first, because there were very clear instructions in the CMS website on how to do that. However, the automation upgrade scripts didn't work well because the forum owners added some raw code (not MVC plugins but bad undocumented code) and some columns to the SQL tables. I didn't give up and decided to migrate between the versions without the scripts. I opened a new CMS and started learning by heart all of the database columns so I can make a script to migrate between the versions. The first tests ran forever because processing 14GB of data on a single home computer is not a task meant to be done. I didn't give up. I made an old forum and compared the table structures and code with my mentor's. I think I didn't exhaustively finish this solution, the task was too big on my shoulders and eventually I gave up. I still owe thanks for that mentor for teaching me how to bare with seemingly (and practically) impossible tasks, for learning not to fear from being a leader and an entrepreneur and also for paying me in time even though I didn't deliver anything 😂

They call it security questions.
I call it social engineering backdoor.

I'm supposed to enter those questions after logging into my account and I'm not able to skip it nor to set a proper two factor method.

Well, fuck you. Did you ever thought about dying by a two factor method? Ever watched a Saw movie? You got the idea.

DAMNIT JUPYTER. Kernel stop dying on me when I need you. I thought this was a mutual loving relationship.

Anyone else feels Silicon Valley is slowly dying? :(
This season ended too soon with very little to offer. No suspense. Less humour than expected and stretched events.

Hopefully next year is better.

I fucking hate it when big companies release a video with the new tech they developed and they jerk off about the great discovery they made in video format.

I mean, they usually are great discoveries but the "verborragia" (a spanish portmanteau between verb and haemorrhage) is unsufferable.

I'm feeling this way specifically about the microsoft videos. "Just get to the goddamn fucking point. What did you fucking develop exactly?"

They usually go like this:

(Play sad reverbed piano)
Trees are life. Have you ever been a tree? Everyday thousands of trees are being torn apart from their daddy trees. When a tree is removed to be processed into paper, dozens of pretty little dwarves go homeless.

That's why at Microdick we are working on one of the most trascendental advancements of the 21st century.

We are working really hard to take into account every aspect of environmentability to bring humanity closer to what it is to feel like a tree.

We are pushing forward what it means to be a tech company today and we are finding new creative ways to inflate our ego, as a way to pretend we're not dying like the rest of normal human beings.

I would like to have a cat about the house. But I live alone, travel intermittently, don't have a cat-friendly environment etc. etc.

I am resigned to dying petless.

If you also programm in your free time you probably know this kind of situations.

Situation: I'm currently creating my own PHP framework (I know there are plenty... I do it for "fun").

The database Connector Class wasn't working so after an eternity (around 2h) I just went to bed.
11pm: My Eyes open. I'm sure I just solved the problem in my dreams. (Spoiler alert: I didn't)

2am: I go to bed again. It didn't work.

Next day: I open the file add a missing required file. It works. I'm now tired AF and feel like dying and above all: I now get all the suicide PHP memes. Good night guys. I'm getting some sleep.

Our world is dying and we, as the ones that rule the internet at the most basic level, should do something about it

Boooooy symfony has changed a lot since laaaaaaaaast time I used it a long time ago.

Some days ago I finished a little project I built using express and mongo. I want to port it into symfony to see how the newest version (which is 4) fares and I must say. I am really impressed and happy with what I am seeing :D

This sucks because I am going to be dying to use this at work and I know that I am not going to be able to use it unless i act all sneaky and shit

Say what you will, but nothing compares to the excessive pleasure one derives from transitioning from a top-tier development machine, the mere sight of which inspires awe from computer enthusiasts everywhere - the type of machine that seems to glisten in the light of the sunset as choirs ring out from nowhere in particular yet everywhere at once to sing it's praises as it's many full HD screens aluminate the room to offset the dying of the light.

To a mandatory, work provided claptrap with a Core 2 Duo, 2gb of RAM, 90GB of storage and an integrated GPU that can barely stomach 720p before it starts choking on its own mucous.

Truly fucking marvellous.

You either die a IT or live long enough to see yourself become the programmer

Ever tried to do something “simple” and it ended up taking several days and a piece of your sanity?

Trying to connect my website to a blog site made with Hexo has been that for me.

I am actively trying to not think about the fact that my live website is so horrendously broken.

Dying inside.

I don't know which one is worse.
Freezing of laptop while am important demonstration or battery dying in the same situation.
I forgot the charger back home and the only thing client could make out was that the software we made bricked my laptop right after opening it and that I was making excuses to cover it.

What the fuck is this steaming shit!?
You fucking background apps, chrome and Firefox take all my resources to fucking open my Google drive?!

AND WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE 19 INSTANCES OF CHROME RUNNING!!!!

WHY THE FLYING FUCK DO YOU NEED TO DO THIS! LET THE FUCK LOAD!

I HATE WINDOWS! BUT THEN THERE ARE APPS WHO ARE FOR WINDOWS AND MAC ONLY!

I'M DYING NOW!!!!!!!!

FINE! EAT ALL MY 12 GB RAM AND FUCK YOURSELF IN THE CORNER BUT PET ME DO MY WORK!

There is a special place in hell for people that use Boostrap, only to destroy it and recreate to destroy it and recreate for "customisation purpose"

I just spent a whole day figuring out what the fuck was going on with the collapse system that wouldn't trigger or was dying to trying to, only to discover that someone played the smartass by adding or removing a class when the collapse was triggered, so it would put everything in display:none

FUN FACT : ARIA-DISPLAY="TRUE/FALSE" HAS THIS EXACT PURPOSE, FUCKHEAD

I moved from a dying S3 to an HTC M8 and devRant's running so smooth it's making me orgasm

trying to get into gamedev is usually a shitty experience to me...

being a web dev OTOH feels like the opposite. There are css libraries that can make your site beautiful for you (albeit kinda generic).

so when you look at the screen when working on something, you can see something pretty, and it feels like progress.

you can show this to people and they'll be like "wow, look at you and your fancy site".

Show an expertly coded but cssless site to people and they will ask you if you did it with digital crayons.

That's how it feels when I try to get into gamedev, shockingly embarassing.

If I do my own assets, it looks like shit and takes forever. If I use other people's assets, it feels unoriginal.

I used to believe that gameplay is everything, graphics are nothing. But I'm not certain about that right now.

A very common advice to get into gamedev is to start with games that are already made. Like doing a tetris.
Great, that's exactly what I need. Doing a game that looks like shit, with a gameplay I'm not dying to program.

Another thing that makes me feel incompatible with games is the possible reality of that saying that goes "art is never finished, only abandoned", and games being art in a sense.

I'm not sure if I have that mentality. I think I am more of a results type of person, and doing games feels a bit opposite to that.

All of this is making me a bit sad, because video games have been and still are my number one interest, and there has been countless times where I wished I had the role of game designer so I could define in actual projects what a game would be. Like all those "wouldn't it be cool if you could remove X and add Y to this fame" feelings.

In an all day meeting and someone just said "hail hydro" to project changes. I'm dying here. 😂😂😂

My computer is dying. It's been a slow, painful process where the screen starts flickering badly when the battery is low. Now it flickers constantly if the power cord isn't plugged in. Today the screen flickers even if the power cord is plugged in. (Tried changing the battery, etcetera) You served me well. I'm going to frame the screen and put it as a painting on the wall. Rest in peace friend.

Server bios corruption, yaay.
Server external backups, naay.

This happened just before migration to another server. I feel stupid for not having proper backups now, and molested by a dying panda because its less than 6 months ago i got the server. It was used, but still.

My d key is dying. I'm having to deal with 10x more typos than before. So annoying

Fucking painful backache.

My body is literally fucking dying. Last year was elbow and now back and shoulder 😭😭😭☹️

Babysitting CI pipeline that keeps dying for stupid reasons.

.NET Core experience so far is amazing and refreshing from dying Microsoft developer perspective.

Hey. Can I borrow your ears for 5 minutes?

Since I've been out of school, I've often felt that even though I've learned how to code, the education went into a totally direction than the one I want to go. Of course a school can't teach you everything perfectly, but having almost no experience in frontend (mind you we learned the BAREST basics) just makes me feel entirely empty in that regard stepping up to a company. I've been pretty loaded during school, since I was struggling with a lot of things so I couldn't really find myself pursueing the direction of coding frontend apps being fun. I needed the little time I had to blow off steam playing games etc.

So the few things I know are all self taught, but I was never given a hand been shown best practices or solid advice where to look. Sitting down now at my pc trying to learn ReactJS for example feels incredibly draining and difficult, since we've never done JS in school ONCE. All the C# experience barely helps, since with ES6 being rolled out parallel to "normal" JS it's even harder to me to connect the lego blocks that is frontend development. Since many best practices are applied to ES6, I can barely even tell what previous practice they are replacing, making the entire picture even more spongy. In one sentence it's very overwhelming.

I've thought I'd apply maybe as a UX/UI Designer since I've got a great visual sense (confirmed countlessly by many, friends and strangers alike) maybe contributing to the frontend part that way. But as I was applying I've noticed that chances are seemingly pretty low to get accepted since it seems you've got zero reputition if you don't have a degree in Design.

It breaks me apart. I could probably apply as a frontend developer, but I am not sure if I would be happy doing that on the long run. Since just fucking around in Photoshop creating things seems like no effort and brings me joy, as compared to coding out lines for example.

I wanted to make money after school, improve on myself and my quality of life since I've drained that entirely for the sake of my education. Not spiral into another couple years just to eventually maybe get in the direction I want to.

On the flipside going into frontend dev with 0 skills, 0 experience, but being expected to have 2 years of hands on experience with the newest frameworks makes me feel empty and worthless.

I often hand out advice to other people on devRant, but this is the one time where I need some. Desperately. I feel shattered inside, getting out of bed in the morning has no incentive to me since I'll just feel like shit all day, watching YouTube to cheer me up temporarily, only to feel immense remorse not spending the day learning or improving on myself. Barely anything brings me joy. I don't wanna call myself depressive, but maybe I am just dodging the term and I am exactly that.

Thanks If you've read through this monstrosity of a rant/story. I'd be glad if you'd be so kind to give me a different take on my situation or a new perspective.

I am stepping on the spot and I am slowly dying inside because of it.

It dreads me to say it, but I need help.

My productivity is dying for want of a second monitor. I've been hooking up a new-ish HP external LCD to my brand new HP Spectre laptop. Every time I do this, the laptop soon locks up. Won't launch programs, won't even let me click the Windows button to restart. Have to hard reset and go back to single 15" screen. THEY'RE THE SAME BRAND?! WHY ARENT THEY COMPATIBLE?!

Let's begin this year like the last one.
By drinking pretty hard and then only getting 3 hours of sleep.

Learning the most efficient positioning with CSS grid, somewhat feels like my whole body is dying with an alarming rapidly increasing speed.

While talking about speed, this must be the shit that makes our youth turn to heavy drugs.

I can't blame them.

!dev

Through life, I've heard some people say horror movies are bad, that they promote violence (usually religious people).

Of course I think that's pure bs, but I think I could provide one argument that is hard to deny, so here it goes, although I might go off rails at the end.

I'll preface with this: life itself is violent. Violence, the word, is mostly used to describe immoral inflictions of harm on other beings.

But you can also say that some deaths are violent by themselves too, event those that weren't caused by humans, like a disease or a natural disaster.

This would be the "visual" meaning of the word, "the way it looks", the shock of humans when observing something gruesome/violent.

That described, it's not hard to also think that technological advancements in modern western life has made such observations of violence very unfrequent for people.

And naturally, modern people get accustomed to the lack of these observations. So accustomed that when they happen they become traumatic.

Because of this, people react weirdly to death. One reaction is censoring the topic. Another reaction is trivializing it, as if it doesn't really matter.

Sometimes they can't even accept old people dying at 90, an awfully stupid reaction in my opinion.

Another interesting reaction is personifying diseases as if they were villains ruining lives intentionally.

Or at least that's what it feels until you look at them through a microscope and realize that diseases aren't more evil than bread changing flavour after toasting.

All of these irrationality and cowardice comes from low exposure to violence, and that's where horror movies balance things out.

Some diseases in the real life can put some of the worst horror movies to shame.

The human body itself is pending violence. Why? Because when you die all sort of worms eat your fucking flesh. And sometimes that happens even before you die.

We bury humans because of the diseases corpses transmit, but also because we don't like the spectacle and the aesthetics of the rotting process.

Just picture for a second bad things happening to your body, and if you feel that is making you too uncomfortable, then maybe you got too used to this too.

I think horror movies help us to remember the reality of our inminent and intrinsic violence.

In ancient times, you would live outdoors, stepping on dirt, and be very used to "bad" things happening to humans.

Nowadays, most homes are sterile clean, and it's unlikely to observe violence.

Oh, some family member is pucking blood and dying from something? Send em to a hospital, or an elderly care center. Don't need to witness that!

I understand and accept grief. What I don't understand or accept is the vilification of death, describing it as something wrong that shouldn't happen.

it almost feels like a burden, like you shouldn't die when you're young, that it's an unforgivable thing to happen.

Well thanks, society, you can't even fucking die in peace.

I would love to die (no suicide) in a mildly celebratory way, watching people around me smile. I think that would be a good ending for me.

But no. Most of my relatives would be fucking crying like the chickenshits they are, ruining it for me.

And that scares the shit out me: people usually say the scary part of dying is that they die alone.

Well that's what dying alone would mean to me: watching people cry instead of smiling at me.

When my grandma died at 80, with all the achievements she made, I considered her death a success, also considering how quick it was. And because of that I didn't mourn for too long.

In fact, I don't even consider her dead, and not because of some religious mumbo jumbo. I guess the memories are still alive in me, I don't know.

Some famous chunk of coal said once that he felt people don't believe they're gonna die. And I agree with him.

Another upside of horror movies is that they hurt nobody, which is why you can enjoy it and not get ptsd, unlink watching a snuff film.

I will also be fair and add that this might a be a cultural thing, but deep down desire for survival is a genetic thing could play a big part in this too.

Object Orientation is not a feature, it is an unneeded layer of complexity over a dying paradigm, Imperative Programming

I have lost now another device to planned obscolence (how is that still legal), my g3 officially took its last breath two days ago, first it was its battery dying (thousands of devices broke that way [exactly two years after buying it] and at that time there was no batteries to replace it with) - whoever was brave enough to hold onto his device for longer than the battery failure - he then faced the simcard reader breaking and that was my case now too.

I asked many colleagues for help and even found a guy that does repairs for the oldest phones (got too excited), but even he couldnt find the issue, besides a guess that its the main chip that partially died on purpose or it got somewhere desoldered by the always and poorly managed overheating issue, which would cost almost the same to replace as just getting a new phone in the end and even then, theres probably a third switch they planned, to give you the final bullet.

I got a Xiaomi Redmi Note 4 now and really gotta say they have an amazing near vanilla android experience and their "two phone" isolated spaces are quite handy to seperate work and private notifications, apps and files.

It was even compatible with lineageOS and has a simple website to unlock the bootloader (a first for me, never saw any company making it that easy), but after trying their version of it, I don't even have to switch.

I will still miss the vibration motor of the g3, the feedback of it when typing is still to this day the best one I ever tried.

I'm absolutely exhausted...
Just spent the past 2 days restructuring our SAAS products entire server network on AWS just so we can have a static IP address for all our server instances passing through an NAT....because we need to integrate with another service that only allows you to access their API if they whitelist your IP.

Turns out the reason the current tester12 build of Linux 3DS hangs on my 3DS (at the very least) is due to it trying (and failing) to get the version of the onboard NAND (where the Nintendo-sanctioned code resides), which hangs. If I boot the known-working copy of Linux 3DS and run parted, it instantly dies due to my NAND making it say "Error: A partition cannot reside outside of the disk!"

Either the onboard NAND is dying or Linux is just being an asshole. Either way... fuck my life.

People I cannot I am dying. Linux is killing me... :(

When your legacy retarded old as fuck frameworks are slowly dying and instead of migrating to new backend framework, losing some money but improving quality of our products dipshits in charge hire vue.js developer to try to replace jquery with vue just to keep this 10 years old legacy zombie crap alive for 2 more years..

How can you be this fucking retarded greedy motherfucking morons... it shouldnt even be possible

We're hiring managers and engineers at a remote site, and the recruiter is setting up calls with skype for business. To use this-- even the web version, I have to run windows, so I had to dust off my windows VM to join. I fire up the VM, called "plague" in virsh, and...

Boom! An hour of updates and a half dozen reboots! And people wonder why windows is dying.

I sure am still getting a lot of updates for a dying format (flash)

Is there no way to stop my colleagues from looking at my screen? I'm dying here!

So, I just did a rm -rf on an important folder. How should I get it back. Anyone know any Linux or Ubuntu tricks.

TLDR; windows sucks donkey balls

Sometime ago I started to get battery issues on my laptop using windows. Even with 100% charge it would soon display 0% when unplugged.

A few months back I switched to linux on my laptop and on my desk station. And to my surprise, battery issues dissapeared while using linux (manjaro i3). Anybody had that same problem?

Anyway I dual boot win 10 and linux just in case I'd need windows, and this week I noticed my root parition didn't have any space left.

For the next few hours I'm in a car so I thought hey great time to reinstall linux with a bigger root partition. I already had reinstalled windows, and with all the bloat removed, I could shrink my windows partition to make more space for linux.

Now all I need to do is prepare a usb stick with the manjaro iso. I could do that in linux, but since reinstalling windows killed my grub bootloader I couldn't boot up manjaro.

Right, so in windows I go and want to create this bootable EFI usb stick from the manjaro iso. Now the battery issue kicks in again, stating 0%. But with luck, the usb creation finished without my machine dying. Now I just need to restart my laptop and boot from the usb and .... Crap. my Laptop doesn't boot up anymore
-_-

Now i need to wait for a plug to be able to power it up again. Once I boot from the usb I'm sure I could use the laptop some more hours until the battery is actually dead. Fuck windows

You all know that. Seeing a presentation / poster / mail with a screenshot of a word document. I mean a FUCKING SCREENSHOT!!!! You may ask "How do you know it's a screenshot?". Oh maybe because every 2nd fucking Word on that whole picture has a wavy red underline? Oh for fucks sake I don't get it. You can save and export them to thousands of file types. Why do you do that? Printing huge posters to advertise your stuff with WAVY FUCKIN' RED UNDERLINES!! I am fuckin dying inside. It is just missing a scroll bar or a task bar with youporn favicon

After waiting for almost a month, yesterday I went to check on how my computer was doing, since I hadn't got any messages or calls ever since.
I go to the store and ask one of the workers about how my laptop is doing, and that I'd left it there almost a month ago and that they'd tell me when it was time to get the papers and then the laptop itself. The girl asks me for my phone number and then my name, and found nothing on the computer. She goes somewhere inside the store and comes back with a colleague, who tells me that I need a process paper. I pull out the receipt the technician photocopied and signed because that was the only thing I had. I hadn't touched that part of my paste for the whole time after I left the computer there and I was 100% sure I didn't have the process paper with me until he started pressing me for it. I kept repeating that the technician told me that they'd call or message me when said process paper was ready, which I hadn't got any of those to go pick it up. The guy asks me if that were the number and name I'd given the tech guy and I said yes. Both of them disappear into the store again. They come back with a cardboard box and say that the surname written there was wrong by a char (as I've said before my name is unusual, and my surname is also unusual where I'm studying, but where I'm from there's like 5 or 6 families with that surname), so that's why they couldn't find it in the computer. After that they went through all the details I gave on the time of handing the PC and the number they told me was there was off by miles. I think I may have said a wrong digit but that number was way off. There should be some person who got calls or messages about a computer they don't even own LoL
They told me to try it and see if it was running OK and that I had 15d to go back if something was wrong
When I got home I turned it on, afraid it would start dying on me again LoL
I pass the login screen and the fan just starts working really hard and I'm worried. The ASUS guys reinstalled Win8 and the CPU is running wild already, going at about 3,5 GHz (2,5 max) and over 30% usage on nothing
After some minor inconveniences (making the USB with Win10 took longer than expected) I finally installed Win10 and the CPU usage drops to < 10% and runs at way below the 2,5 GHz max. It constantly uses <= 10-15% CPU and the fan makes no noise unless I put in a heavier game (like Oxygen Not Included - it asks for 4GB RAM minimum 8I), in which case it goes up a bit and runs at around 3 GHz, but it doesn't make as much noise as before, thank jesus. I'm gonna keep trying to see how it does and hope I don't have to go back to the store after the next 15d 8I
I can finally work and not be a leech on my friends because my old toshiba - which I forgot I'd brought with me to uni - is really old and it makes a lot of noise (the fan is constantly working too much but it's so old I don't bother anymore) and it heats my room a lot, so it's gonna be a nice change of pace HaHa

Everytime I try to use company-wide libraries, I need to do damn reverse engineering. Why the fuck they don't put actual examples on the documentation!