Some ideas for variable names. Thank me later :))

1. bool sheet;
2. int entionally;
3. char mander;
4. double penetration;
5. string cheese;
6. long schlong;

Can we do that??? 😶

~During app demo to our client~

- And when you click here the request will be submitted, the admin will be notified.
*App crashes*
- And of course the app will close itself since it's the end of the process.
- Client: That's good
- Me: ⊙﹏⊙

This is the problem with iot

Found a fossil in the bushes next to my house 😮

This is the best thing I've seen all week.

Source: /r/programmerhumor

Today I presented a client with their new website.

Feedback from the owner was "I fucking love it".
Got a cash bonus and a bottle of champagne before leaving.

Today was a good day!

Code comments be like....

Sure I've said this before, but I was once asked to embed a video in a pdf so people could print it...

Types of headache 😂

dev vision test

Every js dev I know

An actual "incorrect answer" in my exam paper.

buzzword translations:

"cloud" -> someones computer

"big data" -> lots of somewhat irrelevant data

"ai" -> if if if if if if if if if if if if if else

"algorithm" -> something that works but you don't know why

"secure" -> https://

"cyber security" -> kali linux + black hoodie

"innovation" -> adding something completely irrelevant such as making a poop emoji talk

"blockchain" -> we make lots of backups

"privacy" -> we store your data, we just don't tell you about it

My wife: “Commit, then come to bed.”

All I want for Christmas is... 😍😍😍

My biggest dev sin is not writing any unit tests for devRant :/

My classroom had this, nice inspiration
Bad UX

Shit happens... but never let your shit go to far... specially while in production or drunk.

I started 30 side projects in a month last year, none was finished

Oh!! Nevermind!!

Give that man some HUGE FUCKING COOKIES!

Oh sh*t

Not buying bitcoin in 2008

After job Interview,
We will come in contact with you later that week.
*Later that week*
You've got mail

Highpayingjob@gmail.com
Job interview

You didn't get the job.
Your didn't Meet out requirements.

Sincerely us.

*5 minutes later*

Highpayingjob@gmail.com
Job interview

We must apollogize, we've sent you the wrong mail.

Sincerely us.

*5minutes later*

Highpayingjob@gmail.com
Job Interview.

You werent good enough at our Interview.

Sincerely us.

*Me*
What. The. Fuck.
Just happened...
WHAT THE FUCK!
2 REJECTIONS FROM THE SAME COMPANY?! IN JUST 10 FUCKING MINUTES!

When your girlfriend bathroom is highly active on github

This is how you address your 🐱

If you somehow managed to install Mac OS on a raspberry Pi, does that make it an Apple Pi?

I'm sorry, I'll leave now...

Girlfriend: What's your biggest fear?

Me: That machines take over the world.

Girlfriend: What?

Toaster: What?