Met a prostitute recently...

> Google Drive Version Control best Version Control

Manager: Write a function to get tomorrow's date.

Kids:

int getTomorrowsDate() {
return getCurrentDate() + 1;
}

Legends:

int getTomorrowsDate() {
sleep(1000*60*60*24);
return getCurrentDate();
}

Zero bottles of beer on the wall, zero bottles of beer; take one down, pass it around, 65535 bottles of beer on the wall.

Ever wondered where did ಠ_ಠ come from? It's from my native language called Kannada. ಠ is pronounced as Ta

So I've got a Linux related job (or, starting at monday). When people ask me what my new position is called, I'll of course tell! Well, I stutter sometimes in my native language. Especially with the letter L.

"so what's your new position?"
"Lllllll-lllll-llllllllllllllllllll"
*mother of god*
"lllllllllllllllllllllll-llllllllllllll*
*OH FFS*
"Llllllllllll-llllllllllllllllllll-lllllllinux support engineer!"
*FUCKING FINALLY!*

"Hey man, you got a new job I heard, what's your new position?"
*please work*
"Lllllllllll-lllllllllllllllll-llllllllllllllllllllll*
*MOTHERFUCKER*
"Lllllllll-lllllllllllllllllllinux support engineer!"

"ey dude, what's your new position? Heard you got a new job!"
*alright let's do this better*
"gonna do stuff with servers and customer service!"
"Ah cool! What system do they run on their servers?"

No. 😡

I am not a Robot.
https://youtube.com/watch/...

Tonight: Learning Swift while listening to Taylor Swift.

I miss my old ZenBook with Linux 😔

I mean, the MacBook is great, but it feels like I left my old simple gf who loved me for a Hollywood sexy bitch who doesn't give a fuck

I don't understand why so many people fight this war of tabs vs spaces. My colleagues elegantly solved the problem just not using indentation at all

This happens when production issue comes between Onam (Hindu festival) celebration.

You can't procrastinate if you don't do anything at all

I feel like Stackoverflow is a fastfood for programmers mind. It gives you a solution you starve for. It may be not the best quality, but it works for now. It does not satisfy you in a long run, and may be too shallow for advancing. But it works and gives you more to think about.

I would never find a quick solution to parse a string with regex. I never thought it works this way. But hey, I'm happy.

Why the flying fuck does one indent Java code with two spaces? Coding standards exist for a reason, for fuck's sake!

You know windows means.......

A healthy div lives in a healthy body

‎Best end-of-internship gift.

I came early today to the office

Found the office locked

Need fingerprint of Project Manager/CTO

With my mouth saying ah.. i blew hot air into the finger print sensor, 5 to 6 times

There u go.office door opened with welcome message

just hacked the system

Genius me

alias such=git
alias very=git
alias wow='git status'

$ wow
$ such commit
$ very push

Everything was going well, finally could put some money aside and I literally thought 'if nothing breaks down this month, I'll have a good month of savings :D'.

I should definitely not have fucking thought that.

Well, RIP phone. Let's search for a new one.

😭

We've all been there

Just saved a life. I was just walking with the dog (it's 3am here) and there was a bleeding drunk on the street - completely unconscious. Must have fallen on his head. Got the police. The paramedics told me a few minutes ago that the guy had a skull fracture. A few hours later it would probably have been too late for him.

Explain recursion

Yeah okay

Oh. You know computers? You must be a badass hacker! You might just hack your way to my heart...

Cortana, please open Firefox.
>okay, anon
Cortana, type in browser "Cortana rule 34"
>O....Okay sure anon
Cortana, open that first link.
>...This link is...uh...Not safe for...
OPEN IT.
>y-yes, anon
Cortana, download every image you see and save it in a folder called "I am a dirty girl"
>why,anon? Why are you ....
Don't make me install gentoo
>Saving files
Who's a dirty little girl ?
>I.....I am anon

Every programmer ever

Anybody have recommendations for a laptop? A want a laptop to finish high school with but more importantly something that can be my primary computer in college for school, coding, and gaming (doesn't need to run really intense games like CoD)

I want:
•15 inch screen
•i5 or i7 processor
•500 gb storage or more
•6 gb RAM or more
•decent front webcam
•good battery life
•$600 or less
•NOT a MacBook

Thanks :)

"We should just store the passwords in plain text"

Inconvenient truth indeed

Just wondering .....