Everything was going well, finally could put some money aside and I literally thought 'if nothing breaks down this month, I'll have a good month of savings :D'.

I should definitely not have fucking thought that.

Well, RIP phone. Let's search for a new one.

😭

That moment when you look up from your phone and notice you wasted an hour on devRant instead of paying attention to software engineering class, rip

Devrant burned in the screen of my phone. Well at least not porn :)

Fuck GoDaddy man... Paid extra for the privacy feature thinking I wouldn't get harassed by phone. Think again! Got tons of calls from India in two days. What a rip off...

I guess they're selling our info or something...

What service do you guys use? I want to move my domains, any recommendation?

My team's been moved to a new floor. We're now sat by sales and marketing andI'm losing my fucking mind.

There's one lady who starts every call with the most sing-song version of 'Hi, {}'.format(Name) where she draws out 'Hi' so it's about 3 syllables long. If I have to hear it one more time I'm going to rip the phone out of her hand and throw it out the window.

I have headphones, but it's as if she waits for the second I take them off to say her catchphrase.

Today my 2 week old phone slips out of my pocket while standing up, falls on the screen and now it's cracked in multiple places. FML.

RIP Stormtrooper (he's black and white).

Repair is 30% of the new price. Worth it, but still a lot of money and 10 days without the phone.

Aaarghhhh!

Hopefully, you already know that the company controlled by the alledged reptiloid subhuman and olimpic testicle juggler formerly known as Mister Zuck My Tits is not to be trusted.

But as is always the case in this bitch, I've been forced into cowjizz flooded swamps' worth of stinking shit platforms for the sake of avoiding isolation.

And so, I've just found yet another way in which Facebook **THUNDERSTRIKE** ... the company, not the geriatric ward, is one of the CROWN ACHIEVEMENTS of human civilization.

Let me tell you something: some people are fucking broke. Hell, some people sleep on the streets, live on scraps, and willingly engage in acts of public defecation when provoked. But I'm not even talking about them no, just plain *broke*.

And so imagine being that guy who doesn't really use his phone much, except maybe for sharing cat pictures with mom because that's what being an absolute chad is all about. You don't get a new phone, because money is a __little__ bit tight. But THEN...

The dreaded CAPITAL strikes, and requests of you to bend and fall onto your knees so as to provide intense, intimate and manual -- as well as oral -- PLEASURE to the [NOT SO] METAPHORICAL PENIS of the """SYSTEM""".

Oh, what an abominable, drooooooling revenant that lies before you!

"Gimme your ass... " he says, menacingly, as you wail about in a futile attempt to guard and preserve the very last vestiges of your own anal virginity.

And so you fight, and kick him in the NADS with everything you have, down to the final shreds of vigor. Victory! Or so you thought...

"You must... " he mutters, mortally wounded "update WhatsApp... "

"Still you breathe?!" you exclaim, suddenly transformed into a heroic, sexy moustachoed arquebusier "After I'm done ~OILING~ my VICTORIOUS CHEST, I *shall* bestow DEATH uppon you!".

But as you rip open your shirt to apply sensual oiling to your marvellous frontal assets, your nemesis reveals it's portentous Portugal: "this new version of Android... " he gasps as he perishes "is incompatible with your device... "

"Ughh! Sacrebleu!" you shriek out in pain, realizing that you are now unable to ACCESS THE FUCKING DATA THAT IS IN YOUR OWN FUCKING HARDWARE BECAUSE OF A STUPID FORCED BINARY INCOMPATIBILITY.

That's right. Now even if I *do* get a new phone, I can't do shit about losing all of the family memes. And contacts and all of that shit, but the stickers are more important. A minor inconvenience, yes, and it didn't need all of this preamble but I was doing the dramatic fight scene bit inside my head as I was writing and I got into it.

Because the only documented way to transfer all of that data is to OPEN THE APPLICATION and scan some code, but everytime I go to do that, IT TELLS ME I NEED TO UPDATE. And every time I GO TO UPDATE, it says that MY PHONE is TOO FUCKING OLD!! AAAAAAAGHGHGHGHGHGHGHG!!!!

And you too, might be a dashing french man from centuries past, with both balls and tits down to your fucking knees, folding your arms in a position that exhumes smugness in a disgustingly irreverent and self-aggrandizing way, looking at me as a mere plebeian who cannot wrap his head around the mystical art of interacting with Google's black deuce box.

And you would be somewhat right in your judgement! But just having to fiddle about with these fucking pocket Elmo screens is such a traumatic experience for me that I'd rather lose my stickers.

[ADBREAK] Are you a debonair victorian undercover butt pirate, taking unparalleled care of your Falstaffian, highfalutin poils pubiens? Need your "sword" sharpened, as you browse through the pages of this magnanimous lexicon? Would you rather allocate final death to your coworkers than learn one more synonym for sonorous, supercilious and pontifical?

We all know that ALL you need to help keep that honor intact is slaying your enemies in high-stakes combat. But how to satisfy less gallant needs, when male prostitution is outlawed in more than sixteen duchies?

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Get your bottle of scents, sensual Portuguese chest oils, and fucking designer-drug bath salts for the low, low price of a passionate, unceassing self-blowjob! And use my code FRONTALASSETS for 60% OFF in your next soul-robbing foray into the felational dark arts!

Big ups to BloodCurse for sponsoring this RRRRRRRR~$RRR$$RR%5RRRRR$0000:>A48CC50A E3A1B22A : 330D4750 7C24E5A5|.......*3.GP|$.. 5262E7D5 0D1C24E6 : 85594B39 1CB7593E|Rb......YK9..Y>

:~

I really need to get my shit together. Can't even begin to describe what's going on in my mind right now.

God damn I'm gonna rip anyone's ass who so much as came within 5 meters of me.
Few months back, my dad's colleague dropped his (my dad's) phone and broke the screen. She was a low pay nurse, so my dad didn't ask for compensation. Instead of repairing it, it would be a better deal to get a new phone altogether, so I got him one on Credit (I didn't have cash).

Now amidst all this horseshit 🏇 in my own office and this pussy of a boss, and my hobby of learning coding and trading stocks part time to make a little extra money so that I can help dad with home loan repayment, I forgot to pay the credit bill.
Had to pay $25 as late charges. Motherfucker.😣

Kids of the future will one day ask their parents how they met and it's gonna be like this:

Kid: "Mommy how did you and Daddy meet?"

Mom: "We met by bumping into each other while playing Pokemon Go"

!dev

TL;DR: Today my phone Kruger&Matz Live 3+ got ebola. Anyone had same issues?

I woke up and unplugged my phone from charger as always, but it was hot as hell. I was not worried, thought it heated up cause of charging as I plugged it few hours before waking up.

Then things got serious. I was unable to use phone, it freezed randomly, opened apps I hovered when frozen, etc. I thought thats becuse it was hot, so I turned it off and put it into the fridge (I do it sometimes).

I was leaving house in an hour so I hoped that would help. I turned it back on when leaving, but nothing changed and it was getting hot again. I've checked processes, was deleting apps like mad, thibking that was some bug in update of one of them, cleared cache partiotion too. That did not help, so I was forced to factory reset. Guess what... same issues.

I tried everything possible and lost all hope, was ready to send it to service. So I turned it off, so it won't burn my pocket out.

Few hour later I talked with dad complaining about the issue and tried to show him what's wrong, but... it was all right again. No freezes, no heating.

Later that day my sister told me she had issues with her phone - Live 3, described same as mine. Even weirder that my girlfriend had no issues with her Flow 4+ from same company.

Two phones of same company, almost same product line with the same exact issues on the same time frame? Any ideas what happened?

Early on in my freelancing career I learned something important. Even with seemingly tame nerdy stuff, sh*t can get real, real quick. This story describes the very start of my career in web development and hopefully will serve as a warning to newbies out there.

A young teen, I had just learned some basics of wordpress, I was confident I could hack together something that worked and looked okay with minimal effort and knowledge. One day I was approached by a guy who wanted a job board board site. Knowing there were already clones out there I figured this would be an easy gig, man was I wrong.

In addition to the fact I didn't know about contracts or the scope creep from hell, I had somehow gotten myself involved with a criminal business front.

These guys operated a scam business to rip off investors. Me and my designer buddy were used to make the business look legit. What they would do is hold job fairs where people are supposed to pay to rent a booth, but instead they would give everyone a booth for free and then lie about what all businesses were coming. They would then show this info, along with the website and marketing materials to investors. They would take the money from the investors and launder it for drugs.

The real story starts the day of one of the worst hangovers I had ever had. I was at a random friends house sleeping for most of the day.

Apparently one of the guys who was operating the scam business was about to strike a deal with one of the investors when something on the website didn't work (it was working as designed). This guy, Manny we'll call him, had been blowing up my phone all morning. I check my voicemails and there are threats on my life; saying I will be sleeping with the fishes, or if they ever find me, they'll fuck me up. Needless to say this really freaked me out, either way I decided to head back to my dorm.

When I come back home, my designer buddy tells me that some guys were in the house looking for stuff. Apparently this guy hired two nerds to "break into my computer and steal the website", fortunately they didn't know what they were doing.

After a while I got another call, Manny wanted to sit down and "talk things out". Being naive I accepted and we met up. The two nerds were there with one of his body guards. He said he wanted to have those two nerds take over the project. While this was going on, his bodyguard flashed his gun at me several times making eye contact. I agreed to, but I still wanted to get paid. I asked about getting paid and he said we never signed a contract and that he owned the host and domain. I was pretty much screwed.

This is where the story should end, but I wasn't a very smart guy back then. I gave up the site but I created a back door into it. Every week or so, they would get "hacked". Because the two nerds didn't know what to do, they ended up coming back to me for help. This is when I finally got paid. Totally not worth it.

I sometimes forget windows is absolute shit. Then I get to work with one and remember. Specially since microshit has actually banned my email (because I didn't give it my mew phone number it's sulking like a creepy stalker) and so I can't even properly log the fuck in into a machine I was using a few years back. 😐

If someone makes a windows rip off that could properly deal with .exe files, count me a customer. (in future tho. I haven't got money for shit rn)

After two years of being in (metaphorical) jail, I once again was given the a privilege of unlocking and rooting my phone. Damn. Frick Huawei, never coming back to that experience.

I gotta say, rooting... Feels a tad less accessible nowadays than when I last practiced it. All this boot image backup, patch, copy, reflash is crying to be automised, only reason I can think of why that changed and magisk can no longer patch itself into the phone's initrd is that it's somehow locked? Was it a security concern? Or can sideloaded twrp no longer do that?

Oh, and the war... The war never changes, only exploits do - fruck safety net... Good for Google that they now have an *almost* unfoolable solution (almost). The new hardware-based check is annoying af, but luckily, can still be forced to downgrade back to the old basic check that can be fooled... Still, am I the only one who feels Google is kinda weird? On one hand, they support unlocking of their own brand of phones, but then they continuously try to come up with frameworks to make life with a rooted or unlocked phone more annoying...

On the other hand, I do like having my data encrypted in a way that even sideloading twrp doesn't give full access to all my stuff, including password manager cache...

Any recommendations what to install? I do love the basic tools like adaway (rip ads), greenify (yay battery life!), viper4android (More music out of my music!) and quite honestly even lucky patcher for apps where the dev studio practices disgust me and don't make me want to support them...

Webpack? More like Fudgepack 😡

OK sure, I know it's cool to rip on Webpack without taking 5 minutes to understand it, but I really have tried. Every time I want to do anything which used to be trivial with grunt, gulp or brunch, it requires a whole bunch of sorcery and every post I see online around the same topic inevitably ends with something like "that's not modular", "WebPack doesn't work like that", "you're holding your phone wrong" etc. And it's not like I'm someone who is afraid of new or uncomfortable things. I try new languages almost as often as there are new JavaScript fads (OK maybe not THAT often). I use "weird" keywords and experiment with different key maps all the time. I swap my daily window manager on an almost quarterly basis (and xmonad is no picnic as an introduction to Haskell). But what the fuck is it with so many people in positions of influence in the frontend world always taking one step forward, two steps back and an occasional hop sideways when it comes to tooling (and dragging everyone else along with them)?

How did such a turd of a tool become defacto for so many frontend frameworks? Do hard core JavaScripters just really really hate outsiders and want to deter others from their precious as much as possible? Fuck Webpack and fuck everyone responsible for helping it permeate so thoroughly through the software development industry.

I'm sick of hearing the guy in the office just down the hall fart with his door open.

I dunno... Is that too much to ask for?

It's really not socially acceptable to run into you office, urgently, not shit the door, and let a wet one rip.

Edit: And also, can you dial not on speaker phone. Max volume.

That feel when you have more than 100 tabs open that need your attention
... on your phone
... but you keep opening new ones instead of reading what you already has
... so you install a new browser and do the same thing there

Just made a quick prototype to test Augmented Reality but my phone (Huawei Y7 2018) isnt compatible with ARCore because it doesn't have a gyro so i cant Build and Run RIP

since my favourite phone automation app llama is no more i discovered automate. you build your 'scripts' with functional blocks. it's quite fun but debugging is messy.

mildly interesting: implementing a guided setup instead of defining the values directly leaves me with 77% setup and ui vs 23% actual task.

Any good experience with a Rhinoshield case or recommendations on cases for the Galaxy S9?