Details
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SkillsMostly C#
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LocationKassel, Germany
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Website
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Github
Joined devRant on 2/19/2017
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"there's a problem with your API"
Me: "why?"
"I get no data"
Me: "what response code are you getting?"
"405 - Method not allowed. But only on the /version endpoint"
Me: "Soo... What request are you sending?"
"POST"
WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SEND A POST REQUEST TO AN ENDPOINT THAT **GETS** THE VERSION OF MY API???!!!!
Me: "Read the documentation. It's there for a reason"13 -
Coding is like pizza
You love it and can't get enough, but you torture yourself indulging in it at nights, wish it didn't make you seem fat and attractive to the majority of the population, and it will never love you back -
**Wrongly edited last time, made it confusing. Deleted. Posting again. Apologies.**
So, scenario was like, we friends were chatting on WhatsApp and talking about Germany as one of us has shifted there recently. After a 30-40 mins chat, I clicked on Google to search for some company(say 'xyz') .... Now this searching for company and chatting with friends are totally separate events. But when I typed 'xyz' , google suggested "xyz career Germany" and 'xyz Germany glassdoor'.
My question is that is it possible that Google is taking records of what am I typing anywhere(I've android phone) and using that to decide which suggestions should it be showing to me? Or am I thinking too much? 😌9 -
> Found a VBScript to show a messagebox (2008)
> Got challenged to hack an FPS
> Copy-pasted VB6 into VS2008 Express
> Did not understand a single error
> Learned VB.NET
> C#
> Windows died, Linux installed
> Python
> C++
> PHP/HTML/CSS
Now I work with C#, PHP and C++
And I am still not able to properly inject a DLL to hack an FPS (I think)3 -
Looking for a bug.
Plugged headphone into my ears.
Suddenly part of code caught my attention, started debugging.
10 minutes of intense debugging, wondering why there's no music in my ear.
Realised I forgot to plug the headphone into my mobile :(13 -
(overheard parents talking)
Mum: I'm worried about our son, I guess he was hacking today
Dad: What? [Chuckle] No. He's not that grown up enough. Prolly programming.
Mum: But, the screen was all blue and there was nothing but text on it. And then suddenly it went blank. So, I asked him what he was doing and he said it was a BSOD. That sounds scary NSA level stuff.
Dad: it isn't [came out of the room, saw me there]
(And we laughed and laughed and laughed)4 -
FOR FUCKS SAKE PEOPLE ! JS AND PYTHON ARE NOT THE BEST LANGUAGES NOR THE ONLY THING YOU SHOULD LEARN. THERE'S NO TOOL OUT THERE THAN CAN FIX EVERYTHING.
WTF HAPPENED TO THIS INDUSTRY IT'S AS IF JS AND PYTHON ARE ALL THEY TEACH THESE DAYS ...
ENOUGH ! BE A POLYGLOT OR GTFO (OR YOU CAN SPEAK ONLY 1 LANGUAGE AND STOP FORCING IT WHERE IT DOESN'T BELONG)
now that that's out of my system. bring it on59 -
HR: We have received complain that you have been sexually harassing an intern.
Me: No, I wasn’t. Me and the new intern all we talk about is Coding, Apps, and TV-Series
HR: You are lying. I have the words that you said to the intern. Do you want me to read it out.
Me: I have no clue what I said to the intern so please read it out.
HR: You said, “Always pull before you push”. Do you remember saying this?
Me: Yes, I was teaching the intern how to use GIT.
HR: Okay, let me call the intern and let see if he says the same.
** Intern **
HR: Was he sexually harassing you today at any time.
Intern: No
HR: Did he said, “Pull before you push” to you?
Intern: Yes
HR: What does that mean, sounds like a slang for something sexual.
Intern: haha, no it means that I should pull the changes made to the files before I can push the changes I did to the code from my computer.
HR: But he said something else like he was teaching you how to use GIT
Intern: Yes, that’s what GIT is.
HR: Okay both of you can go and don’t use this type of terms in the future it doesn’t make good working culture.52 -
Boss: I need you to start on this new project, how long will it take?
Me: well, hard to say with no specs whatsoever...
Boss: just your best guess
Me: 4 to 6 month I guess?
Boss: so 3 months it is. When can you start?
Me: no specs, sir...and I said 4 to 6
Boss: the specs are almost ready, I know you can simplify it
Me: ...
Boss: just start with the basic infrastructure already
(4 months later)
Boss: here you are the specs, they might change a little in behaviour and design, but all the main stuff is here
(Hands me a A3 with a total of 21 pictures in InDesign)
Me: o....Kay. what happens when I click here?
Boss: oh, we should still talk about the app workflow, I'll get you updated
(2 weeks and 16 total rewrites of the "specs" later)
Boss: you told me it was a 2 months job, why aren't you finished yet? We must deploy in 3 weeks!
Me: ...34 -
Recruiter: Why you choose this company to work with?
Me: I didn't choose it, I have other interviews.
Recruiter: So why we should hire you?
Me: So I can pay my bills.14 -
"Are you familiar with uploading your code to Google Drive?"
I left the building at that exact moment.41 -
Where I currently work (and have done for 10 years) we were recently recruiting for another dev, and one of the other devs and our line manager were running the interviews.
After 3 or 4 failed interviews they decided to test the questions on me... I got 3 out of 10 :(
My argument was (and still is) if I get stuck programming I can google, or you can teach me new stuff. And I can make a good cup of coffee2 -
Wasn't a "real" interview, but a simulation, with a internship maybe if the HR is convinced. Yeah, not a real interview but with a job. whatever.
So I made my interview, and the guy was also there to tell me what's good, what's wrong and give me some tips for my CV.
But since it wasn't official, he told me with a big smile that I should cut my hair because that's not "clean".
And it was one of the big lines of his feedback.
Worse is, he asked a friend to remind me that, and since he said he will send by email the recap of the simulation, told me one more time to cut my hair.
Well, I got an internship somewhere else, they were more open-minded to hair apparently.
Seriously, that asshole pissed me off that much back then. -
About 18 months ago my non-technical Manager of Applications Development asked me to do the technical interviews for a .NET web developer position that needed to be filled. Because I don't believe in white board interviewing (that's another rant), but I do need to see if the prospective dev can actually code, for the initial interview I prepare a couple of coding problems on paper and ask that they solve them using any language or pseudo code they want. I tell them that after they're done we'll discuss their thought process. While they work the other interviewing dev and I silently do our own stuff.
About half way through the first round of technical interviews the aforementioned manager insisted we interview a dev from his previous company. This guy was top notch. Excellent. Will fit right in.
The manager's applicant comes in to interview and after some initial questions about his resume and experience I give him the first programming problem: a straightforward fizzbuzz (http://wiki.c2.com/?FizzBuzzTest). He looked as if the gamesters of Triskelion had dropped him into the arena. He demurs. Comments on the unexpectedness of the request. Explains that he has a little book he usually refers to to help him with such problems (can't make this stuff up). I again offer that he could use any language or pseudo code. We just want to see how he thinks. He decides he will do the fizzbuzz problem in SQL. My co-interviewer and I are surprised at this choice, but recover quickly and tell him to go ahead. Twenty minutes later he hands me a blank piece of paper. Of the 18 or so candidates we interview, he is the only one who cannot write a single line of code or pseudo code.
I receive an email from this applicant a couple of weeks after his interview. He has given the fizzbuzz problem some more thought. He writes that it occurs to him that the code could be placed into a function. That is the culmination of his cogitation over two weeks. We shake our heads and shortly thereafter attend the scheduled meeting to discuss the applicants.
At the meeting the manager asks about his former co-worker. I inartfully, though accurately, tell him that his candidate does not know how to code. He calls me irrational. After the requisite shocked silence of five people not knowing how to respond to this outburst we all sing Kumbaya and elect to hire someone else.
Interviews are fraught for both sides of the table. I use Fizzbuzz because if the applicant knows how to code it's an early win in the process and we all need that. And if the applicant can't solve it, cut bait and go home.
Fizzbuzz. Best. Interview. Question. Ever.6 -
Interviewer: (asks technical question)
Me: (answers correctly)
Interviewer: Oh thank God, most of the people we interview fail to answer that. So, on another note do you believe in rubber duck debugging?
Me: yes, ofc
Interviewer: but it's just a toy you know
[I was kinda taken aback]
Me: ...
Me: God is imaginary too you know
Interviewer: (he just laughed)
(So I laughed with him) 😅12 -
Sister was getting a new phone (she likes iphones but the jackplug removal made her go towards android as well as the prices) and there was this Deezer family deal. So she Signal'd me asking if I'd like to join the deezer family and I was like 'yeah sure but just remember that there's a big chance of me moving to another country after my study, is that okay with this subscription?'
Sales guy: It's limited to the country the official subscriber is in.
Sister: 'Oh but my brother is a smart IT guy, he can probably setup a VPN server here so that he can still use the app.'
She told that the face of the sales guys was like 'what the actual fuck just happened'.
She called me afterwards telling the story and also 'even though I thought I'd never learn about this stuff (I always told stuff at the dinner table), appearantly you taught me more than I realized!;.
Yeah, that was a very proud brother moment =).6 -
Not really dev as much but still IT related 😂
in college we got some new macs in our class. Before we were allowed to use them the "IT Tech" came in and did something to them all (probably ran some scripts to set stuff up)
Anyway, I was completely new to OS X and accidentally pressed a key combo that opened up a dialogue to connect to a remote file server. I saw the address field was already filled out (from when the IT Tech was running the scripts). So me being me I decided to connect. Low and behold my student credentials got me in.
Taking a look around I found scripts, backups and all sorts of stuff. I decided to look at some of the scripts to see what they did. One of them was a script to add the Mac to the domain. Here's the funny part. The login to do that was hard coded into the script....
To conclude. I now have domain level access to my whole college network 🙃
Tl;Dr: stupid it tech saves password in script. I find it. I now have domain level access to the college network14 -
My company does estimates in two ways.
1. Sales person just throws a number out there, always short, and we panic code to make it happen before the client decides twice as long isn't worth it.
OR
2. The devs are told to give an estimate before having a chance to find out all the requirements, THEN ARE TOLD THEY ESTIMATED TOO HIGH AND TO LOWER THE NUMBER!
FUCK THE ESTIMATING!!! GIVE US TIME AND ACCEPT OUR ESTIMATES!! SALES PEOPLE DONT HAVE TO STAY UP IF WE NEED TO CRAM!!undefined why is sales in charge? fuck actually happens every estimate proper rant at estimates pissed sales9 -
I have a friend who likes to change his tech stack every time he reads about a new technology online.....He started working on a startup idea of his.....He started with Larvel.....then came NodeJS...Then came .Net Core......Then Go.....And yesterday he told me that he is thinking about making it in Vapour.
Him: how long do you think it will take me
Me: ........Forever4