I was reviewing one dev's work. It was in PHP. He used MD5 for password hashing. I told him to use to password_hash function as MD5 is not secure...

He said no we can't get a password from MD5 hashed string. It's one way hashing...

So I asked him to take couple of passwords from the users table and try to decode those in any online MD5 decoder and call me after that if he still thinks MD5 is secure.

I have not got any call from him since.

Manager: This code you wrote violates the single responsibility principle!!

Dev: How so?

Manager: You have one function that you call in *MULTIPLE* places. That’s too much responsibility for one function! Functions should only have one responsibility!! Creeping the scope of a function beyond that is a TERRIBLE way to write code!

Dev: But why spin up multiple functions that all perform the same thing?

Manager: Well if a function has a bug in it and you use that function multiple places then that bug exists everywhere you use that function. If a function only has one responsibility then if it has a bug that bug will only exist in the single place it is called! You really should think first before asking questions like that.

Dev: …

Manager: I read an article today

Dev: oh here we go….

Manager: We must pivot to only functional programming, which means only using functions instead of classes

Dev: Actually functional programming is a bit more nuanced tha—

Manager: Any use of classes going forward is not allowed. Everything must use functions! Classes are an outdated way of programming, using classes is why we continue to miss our deadlines. Functional programming is lean, classes are waterfall.

Dev: What about the libraries we use? Many of those use classes

Manager: Wrap them in a function then, that way they are pure which is one of the requirements of functional programming. You would know that if you spent as much personal time as I do keeping up with the times.

I guess that is what you get for bringing up security issues on someones website.

Not like I could read, edit or delete customer or company data...

I mean what the shit... all I did was try to help and gives me THIS? I even offered to help... maybe he got angry cause I kind of threw it in his face that the whole fucking system is shit and that you can create admin accounts with ease. No it's not a framework or anything, just one big php file with GET parameters as distinction which function he should use. One fucking file where everything goes into.

I need to render point clouds in OpenGL for a project I'm working on. The problem is it just becomes too damn slow when the point cloud size increases. So I'm trying to use LOD methods and nested octrees to speed things up. Also, I need to render text too in my OpenGL scene. So now I'm stuck trying to show proper labels using Qt and OpenGL which is completely pissing me off by the way. And I'm not doing the actual speeding up thing I was working on earlier on and before that I was working on the actual function of my program. So I'm now deviated from the deviation.

Fuck my brain.

This is not a joke. This is not something I wrote to be funny. This is not found randomly off the internet. This is a real part of the project I inherited: a function that not only is more cumbersome to use than the simple <Array>.contains that it wraps, but rather than returning the boolean result from the function, sends it through an if statement and returns hardcoded true and false values for... Good luck? I guess?

So I missed the first 3 days of my programming class. Once I showed up to the 4th the professor was really cool about it. She informs me on the HW I missed and so after the test she handed me (which was overdue as well) I started on the HW. By the end of the class I show her the exercises I did and just by how I structured each function (Python btw) she could tell that I was advanced for the class... I was surprised when she said that I didn't have to show up to the class because it would be a waste of my time, and that I can use the time to focus on personal projects. She offered to help me out with database dev (which ironically I planned on reading head first sql after a design pattern book). The thing that hit home was when she said "I think you're going to be a great programmer."

Listen. Use invariants. If you can do

if(!x) {
return foo;
}
...rest of function logic...

Instead of

if(x) {
...some long branch with more tests...
} else {
return foo;
}

Please do. It's so much easier to read when all of your conditions are tested in a line at the top instead of nested 8 layers deep in if-else blocks.

Thanks

Manager: You can’t define an async function without using await.

Dev: Yes you can.

Manager: Well you shouldn’t, there’s no point!

Dev: Yes there is. It can turn blocking synchronous logic into work performed concurrently. In this case the perform—

Manager: It’s called async *await*. Async *AWAIT*! Did you hear the two parts to that? You shouldn’t ever have one without the other. THEY GO TOGETHER. Worrying about concurrency is for people who use callbacks which just goes to show how out of date your skills are. I’m reading a book on javascript and there are so many advanced techniques out there that I haven’t even seen you use ONCE!

Dev: …

*I looked at the book he’s reading, it’s from the < ES6 era… no wonder he doesn’t see me using any of those archaic patterns/hacks/workarounds…*

!rant

So this year I had a subject at university called "Linux internal architecture", and for the last assignment I had to write a kernel module and interact with it with a separate program written in C.

Once I had finished and tested the driver, I went on to write the other program, which was supposed to use system calls to read and write data to the module. While debugging this program (~500 lines of code) I reached the level of frustration where you just start printing absurd messages everywhere in your code to see what's wrong. So for example instead of printing "This error happened in this function", my error messages were more like "Fuck this fucking function it doesn't fucking work".

Guess who forgot to delete all those messages before sending the code to the teacher...

Also, if a specific mode is selected, the program enters a while(1) that, apart from doing what it's expected to do, also creates a file in the user's home directory called something like 'motherfucker' and appends the words 'fuck this shit' to it. INFINITELY.

I really really hope this teacher doesn't try to run the program in his own computer, or he's in for a big surprise.

Prof offers a VR project to us:

Prof: Lets do something nice using VR
Us: Sounds interesting. Will we get VR glasses to test at home?
Prof: No.
Us: Can we use the VRs of the university?
Prof: There are no available.
Us: Will there be additional ones?
Prof: No.

WHY DO YOU OFFER A VR PROJECT BUT THERE IS AND WILL BE NO HARDWARE??? SORRY, BUT MY OWN GLASSES HAVE NO VR FUNCTION!!

DO NOT USE JAVASCRIPT FOR PUBLIC WEBSITES IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE IT!!!

Almost every fucking day, I click a fucking button and NOTHING HAPPENS. I open the console and find tens of JavaScript errors, that *I* have to debug and fix in order to proceed.

FUR FUCK SAKE, JavaScript is not strictly needed, those fucking React and Vue are also not needed. Just now I wanted to download a form: IT'S A FUCKING PDF FILE, why the fuck are you putting your broken JavaScript function to let me download it!? PUT A FUCKING DOWNLOAD LINK YOU FUCKING MORON!

Nobody is forcing anybody to use JavaScript or those fucking fancy frameworks, SO WHY THE FUCK PEOPLE OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS THAT USED TO WORK SO WELL!

Hello, I just want to let you know I'm working on a 15 year old product and it is currently in production.

It uses Angular.js and one of the earliest versions of React.js. I cannot use ES6, we don't have Babel, no JSX syntax, no CSS preprocessor. No webpack.

I must support browser since IE6 with an ES3 syntax. (luckily I got some some polyfills for an ES5 syntax)

When I build a component I have to call React.createClass and React.createElement.

The render() function is basically a nested pile of React.createElement.

There is no documentation for this product, no tests, no anything.

I had to reverse engineer it in order to understand how it works.

The code base uses mixed programming styles and naming conventions, plus thousands of little js files.

Oh and obviously no hot reload, every time I make a change I have to restart everything.

Please, send help.
I'm in danger.

Sincerely,
An underpaid developer

....
I'm not crying, you are crying...

Every single diagramming tool.

All the SaaS ones are either way too limited in function, or proprietary vendor-locked.

All the FOSS/desktop ones have a 90s UX experience.

I really want to make a great, comfortable-to-use diagramming tool which just directly uses SVG as the file format, but without the "FUCK IT DOESNT ALIGN CORRECTLY AND WHY IS THIS ARROW BEHIND THE REST" experience...

But I know deep down that it's hard work, and I'll probably get stuck delivering the gazillionth lackluster, bugged diagramming app.

Marketing coworker: We MUST integrate with XYZ

Me: sure, they have a REST API and OAuth2. What part of our system do you want to integrate with XYZ?

coworker: Emmm... I don't know. Everything

Me: ...okay. What does XYZ even do?

coworker: Emmm... our customers use it, so we have to integrate with them.

Me: fine. I'm reading that XYZ has function ABC and PQR. Which one do our customers use?

coworker: ABC, definitely ABC

...

coworker: Our customers say nothing is working!

*looks into the problem*
Me: That's because they're using PQR and not ABC.

This kind of research is NOT my job, it's YOURS

At an interview, the first round was an online coding round. Two questions, one easy one hard, 90 minutes, easy peasy.

I solved the hard one first.
A bit of good logic, followed MVC pattern, all done. Worked flawlessly.
Submitted code. Online compiler threw up an internal error citing java is an invalid command(jdk not found).
Called the invigilators. What I heard next, I couldn't believe this shit.
"We're not responsible for any errors you may be having. Figure it out yourself"
I was like WTF dude. This is not even a compilation or runtime error!
After a heated discussion, I made him look at the code.
Him - what is all this classes and all? Why haven't you written everything inside the main function?
Me - those are model classes. Those are different helper functions. That is a recursive function to avoid 5 for loops and use divide and conquer. Ever heard of OOP? what kind of person writes a 300 line program inside one function?
Him - no no we write it like that only. Correct this.
Me - I fit everything inside the main function. Still the same error, java not installed. Called the idiot to have a look at it.
Him - yeah your code is wrong.
Me - may I know what's wrong with it? Can you fix it please?
Him - no no we aren't allowed to see the code (he had already read it twice. It was compiling and running perfectly, locally) .
Yeah you solved only 1 problem, you were supposed to solve 2.
Me - yes because the rest of the time I had the pleasure of your company. (It isn't everyday that I see talking buffoons.)

I HATE working with MS Office products. Yes, Access, I'm looking at you, you backwards, whanabe database reject! You're invalid as a serious SQL database and retarded as an data application suite.

VBA, make up your MIND with your damn function calls! Either require me to use parenthesis or don't! I'm sick of this conditional parenthesis sh*t!

While we're talking about not making up your mind... screw 'sub', you half wit language! Either use functions like a real language or go the f&$k home and make room for a language that knows what it's doing!

Oh!!! WHY... WHY! do you have null AND... NOTHING?! Who... Who... WHO invented "nothing"?! And what sick joke are you playing at with isnull() and empty()??? How many damn ways so you need to test for "no value"?!?!

Access... That's right, I'm not done with you yet... How is it you've survived this damn long in the business world with all of the databases you corrupt? Sure, you suck as a real database, but at least have some freaking pride that people even USE you! How DARE your corrupt yourself with the regularity you seem to have! I wish my bowel movements were as regular as your database corruptions, for the love of humanity.

F$@k you, VBA! F@&k you, Access! F$#k you, MS Office! And Fuuuuuu$k YOU Microsoft for shoving these half assed reject tools down my throat!

I hope your cloud uses Access as a back end and gets some injection virus.

*Takes deep breath* need to say that.

OMFG!! I just discover a fucking bug in a library used by thousand of people in scientific community!! 🤩🎉

Started when my program outputting strange result. I was in a huge fight with my supervisor about one of the function from the library. My hunch was telling me that this function is the source of the problem, but he insisted that no such bugs could exist in the library that has been used by thousands of people.

I couldn't reproduce the bug so I just stayed silent at that time,
But now, I finally got the bug showing. Yeah I am gonna shove it to his face next week.✊
I will also let the people who maintain the library know.
Feels so good being able to be a contributor PR to this famous library 😎

The downside is now I can't use this function, I have to implement by own function.

When I'm proud of the new function I invented and have no clue how anybody will get a use of it...

The world is just not ready for this

school takes the creativity out of programming.

you want to try something new?
sorry, can't have that. functionality = priority.

school takes the choice out of programming.

- you're gonna use x language
- with x api
- in x environment
- and make it in x way
- because if you don't, your gonna fail x assignments
- because programming is about getting the job done, with no creativity

yeah fuck you too

school takes the cleverness out of programming

you get a turn left function. it turns a 'turtle' left any amount of degrees that you pass it, you have to make a turn right function to turn right 90 degrees. well, if you thought turning left -90 degrees was a good idea to make a turn right function, then fuck you. you have to turn left three timeswith the default 90 degrees instead because it's more practical/logical.

fuck that.

anyone else hate the movements to get programming into schools?

A lot of times during holiday parties, I meet new people.

Afterwards, often a quick group chat is created to share pictures with all the people there.

Every goddamn time we come at this point again where this is done and since WhatsApp is nearly considered a requirement to function in society (Netherlands) and I refuse to use it and other mainstream media...

The moment that I have to explain why I don't use WhatsApp arrives, yet again. I don't find it awkward anymore but it doesn't improve the atmosphere and getting called paranoid for the rest of the party also isn't the most fun thing ever!

In the end I usually get the pictures emailed.

Once I got zero in an exam just because I chose to make a function for a piece of code I had to use repeatedly. I went to my lab teacher and asked her what was wrong about my code to which she replied "This code is wrong because there should not be this function in this class". She was our lab instructor and turned out she marked us by matching our code with code given to her by our lecturer. I quietly returned to my seat and started thinking about how did she get this job.

First time ranter here..

So I started to work in this big company with allegedly many talented devs.

All excited to start and learn a whole bunch of new stuff.

There was this dev, with gazillion years of experience.

We were working on a similar parts of the code base and he told me I should be reusing his module.

I opened the module sources to learn about its internals.

Oh boy...

To illustrate it best, Let’s say there was a function called foo.
It was doing one thing. There was also a function called foo1. Doing almost exactly the same thing. There was also fooA.
And I kid you not, there was a fooA1.
All of them were doing almost the same thing.

Almost all of the functions were documented. The documentation for foo would be:
“This does X. I don’t like how it does it, so there is foo1 which is better.”

Additionally, only 1 of the functions was in use...

It doesn’t end here.
There were functions named like:
cdacictad

You ask what it means?
Well it means “clean directory a copy it’s contents to another directory” of course...

Months later he is no longer with us. I deleted this module.

PS
Glad to be here ;)

Interviewer: "Using this 2D array and calculate.."
Me: "This input isn't a 2D array though. Do you want me to parse or construct a 2D array then.."
"It is a 2D array."
"Uh.. ok..and if it's not what if we.."
"Look my notes say you must use this input, and treat it as a 2D Array"
"What if I wrote a function for a 2D array similar to this input, but actually a 2D array"
"You must use only the input provided"
Me: does rain dance code for 20 minutes.
Interviewer: "hmm, maybe it wasn't a 2D Array. I like your efforts but that's all the time we have today."

I promise I can code, sometimes. It does help to have correct questions to give correct answers.

What the fuck has one of my clients been up to?! Every request he makes he suggests we might want to do it via a function.

"We need to ensure this is password protected. Maybe wrap the calls in a function."

I wander if he goes into the bakery and says, "I need a loaf of bread---use flour."

All I can think of is that someone influential in his life is an FP zealot and he's latched onto this word.

But, I quite like FP. Maybe I'll refactor everything to static classes to meet the requirement.

Hope to Christ he doesn't find out about HTML, etc. "Maybe add a CSS rule."

function checkBrowser() {
if(browser == "Internet Explorer") {
print("I'm sorry, you have reached the 404 error page. Please use a different browser. Have a nice day.");
}
else {
print("Thank you for not using Internet Explorer");
}
}

My first Windows rant.

I use Spotify heavily. (After all, I am paying for it every fucking month.) In fact, it's safe to say I use it upwards of 12+ hours a day.

My birthday was a few weeks ago. I got a new mechanical keyboard using some money i received as a gift. This keyboard has a function key to launch your media player. Odd function in my opinion. But I figured I would try it out for a week or so.

My problem is: the default media center is that god forsaken piece of shit groove music (not only is it shit, I also have 0 mp3 files on my computer).

No problem, I'll just change the default media center. Fucking Windows doesn't let me change it to Spotify. Odd. Well, I did download it from Spotify's website. Let's try downloading it from the Windows store.

I download Spotify from the Windows store. It still cannot be set to the default media center.

For fuck sake, if Google can let me set Spotify as my default over their shitty YouTube Music that I know damn well they're trying to make as the default for all Android, then you can let me change it Windows.

Yes, I know Spotfiy isn't exactly a media center, but it's basically the same fucking thing.

Today I'm going to work on my side project that I haven't touched in weeks.

I want to utilize Angular 2 which means I'll need to learn TypeScript. I also want to use the new .Net Core and EF Core 1.0. Oh and I want to handle authentication using JWT!

Wow, that's gonna be a lot of effort to get things off the ground... maybe instead I'll use this time to learn some new concepts. Maybe watch this episode of Fun Fun Function, or maybe this video on writing Assembly code for an app on Raspberry Pi, that sounds cool!

Actually, you know I should really teach myself dependency injection and unit testing for once. I'm so behind the times.

Well, really I should finish this book on design patterns first. Ok, where did I leave off? Page 20 I think... ehh... maybe I'll just work on my side project.

Tomorrow... tomorrow, I'll work on my side project.

This week i have been trying out the programming subject.
So we should program a mathematical function which would figure out pi from a circle.
The teacher had chosen javascript and wanted to show us some javascript he had written.
When he tried to run it, it didn't run
Teacher: Hmm, it doesn't work. Let me try to take a look in the code.
Me: (Rip)
Teacher: The problem with javascript is that it is really bad at helping with finding the error, it doesn't tell anything about them.
Me: (WTFFFF)
Teacher: Oh, it's because i haven't accepted the browser to use javascript on the page
Me: (Slowly realising he is using internet explorer.)
God damnit. Amazing, just amazing.

5 years ago i was working on a 2D game using C and we needed to use the sleep function (I forgot why ) .but however one of my team member did something new , for each second he did an empty for loop from 0 to 1000000 .You never know maybe that's how it's implemented (sarcasm)

Not a rant about anything in particular. Just a summary of some feelings stored in the hateful part of my heart.

Developing for Android: Add this third-party library to your Gradle build. Use (this) built-in Android class to make the thing work.

*Clicks link

Deprecated since API version SUCKMYDICK-7. Use (this) instead

*Clicks link

Deprecated since API version LICKMYBALLS-32. Use...

Developing for Windows: Please use (this) API call. It was literally already available before Bill Gates was born. Carbon dating has placed this item to older than the universe itself and it is likely the entry point for the big bang. It is also still the best way to accomplish (task).

Developing for Linux: "Hmm, I wonder how to use this"

> > > Some shitty mailing list in small blue monospace font tells you to reference a man page that is three versions behind but the only version available.

What? Those three sentences didn't explain it enough? Well, maybe you aren't cut out for this type of thing.

JavaScript: you know how it is.

SQL: You expect a decent-quality answer from stack overflow but you always get an outdated and hacky response and it's using syntax from Microsoft SQL. You need MySQL.

C#: A surprising number of Microsoft forum results ranking high on Google. You click on one in hopes that it will be of any sort of quality. You quickly close the tab and wonder why you ever even had hope.

Literally any REST API: Is it "query" or "q"? "UserID" or "user_id"? Oh, fuck, where's the docs again?

You thought you escaped JavaScript, but it was a trick!: Some bullshit library you downloaded to make your other library work redefined one of the global variables in the project you inherited. Now you get 347 "<x> is not a function" errors in your console. Good luck, asshole.

FontAwesome/ Material fonts/ Any icon font pack: You search "Close" for a close button icon. No results. You search "Simplified railroad crossing sign without the railroad". You get a close icon.

I think that's all of my pent up rage. Each of them were too small for an individual rant so I had to do this essay.

WASM was a mistake. I just wanted to learn C++ and have fast code on the web. Everyone praised it. No one mentioned that it would double or quadruple my development time. That it would cause me to curse repeatedly at the screen until I wanted to harm myself.

The problem was never C++, which was a respectable if long-winded language. No no no. The problem was the lack of support for 'objects' or 'arrays' as parameters or return types. Anything of any complexity lives on one giant Float32Array which must surely bring a look of disgust from every programmer on this muddy rock. That is, one single array variable that you re-use for EVERYTHING.

Have a color? Throw it on the array. 10 floats in an object? Push it on the array - and split off the two bools via dependency injection (why do I have 3-4 line function parameter lists?!). Have an image with 1,000,000 floats? Drop it in the array. Want to return an array? Provide a malloc ptr into the code and write to it, then read from that location in JS after running the function, modifying the array as a side effect.

My- hahaha, my web worker has two images it's working with, calculations for all the planets, sun and moon in the solar system, and bunch of other calculations I wanted offloaded from the main thread... they all live in ONE GIANT ARRAY. LMFAO.If I want to find an element? I have to know exactly where to look or else, good luck finding it among the millions of numbers on that thing.

And of course, if you work with these, you put them in loops. Then you can have the joys of off-by-one errors that not only result in bad results in the returned array, but inexplicable errors in which code you haven't even touched suddenly has bad values. I've had entire functions suddenly explode with random errors because I accidentally overwrote the wrong section of that float array. Not like, the variable the function was using was wrong. No. WASM acted like the function didn't even exist and it didn't know why. Because, somehow, the function ALSO lived on that Float32Array.

And because you're using WASM to be fast, you're typically trying to overwrite things that do O(N) operations or more. NO ONE is going to use this return a + b. One off functions just aren't worth programming in WASM. Worst of all, debugging this is often a matter of writing print and console.log statements everywhere, to try and 'eat' the whole array at once to find out what portion got corrupted or is broke. Or comment out your code line by line to see what in forsaken 9 circles of coding hell caused your problem. It's like debugging blind in a strange and overgrown forest of code that you don't even recognize because most of it is there to satisfy the needs of WASM.

And because it takes so long to debug, it takes a massively long time to create things, and by the time you're done, the dependent package you're building for has 'moved on' and find you suddenly need to update a bunch of crap when you're not even finished. All of this, purely because of a horribly designed technology.

And do they have sympathy for you for forcing you to update all this stuff? No. They don't owe you sympathy, and god forbid they give you any. You are a developer and so it is your duty to suffer - for some kind of karma.

I wanted to love WASM, but screw that thing, it's horrible errors and most of all, the WASM heap32.

WordPress related, get ready for some disgust.

So today early in the morning my boss forwarded me an email from a client, it was about a bug, and asked me if I can have a look at it and fix it.
"Yaay, WordPress!" I thought and opened the page containing the mentioned bug. She wrote that in the italian version of the page, users can select dates in the calendar, which should be disabled, like in the german version.

So yeah, I opened the code. Everything in the function looked perfect. Really. And the Data was also correctly set in the backend of WP.

The function was only 3 lines of code:

- Get the german post ID of the current post (german or italian) by its ID (using a Polylang function)

- Get an Advanced Custom Fields field by name and from a post with the ID from before

- json_encode its content and echo it to a JS var for initialization and later use in some AngularJS.

No fucking missing semicolon, it was fucking perfect like a sunset with your soulmate.

So I tried to find the bug with my personal way of debugging:

"Shitstream Debugging"
When a creek suddenly is full of water mixed with shit, walk upstream through the turds until you reach clear water. This is where the bug is.

=> So I first looked at the HTML source: Turds.
=> Then the ACF field content: Still turds.
=> Then the ID of the german post: Shit stain and turds (var_dump: null)
=> Please god at least $post->ID? Nope, fart smell and turds.
=> Nothing more to check: Clear fucking water and the flowery smell of 99 devVirgins

So it replaced $post->IT with get_the_ID() and it worked like a charm.

Afterwards I feel stupid, but $post->IT worked all the times before...

Conclusion:
FUCK YOU WORDPRESS YOU UGLY PIECE OF HUMAN-CENTIPEDE-PROCESSED-DOGFART.

Thanks for your patience.
Only one beer was sucked dry during the writing of this fucking rant.

Stop using anal as a variable or function name wherever I look I see anal_this and anal_that please stop. Use analyze, analyzer or whatever and not anal_insert ( ) or anal_check ()

Oh man. Mine are the REASON why people dislike PHP.

Biggest Concern: Intranet application for 3 staff members that allows them to set the admin data for an application that our userbase utilizes. Everything was fucking horrible, 300+ php files of spaghetti that did not escape user input, did not handle proper redirects, bad algo big O shit and then some. My pain point? I was testing some functionality when upon clicking 3 random check boxes you would get an error message that reads something like this "hi <SENSITIVE USERNAME DATA> you are attempting to use <SERVER IP ADDRESS> using <PASSWORD> but something went wrong! Call <OLD DEVELOPER's PHONE NUMBER> to provide him this <ERROR CODE>"

I panicked, closed that shit and rewrote it in an afternoon, that fucking retard had a tendency to use over 400 files of php for the simplest of fucking things.

Another one, that still baffles me and the other dev (an employee that has been there since the dawn of time) we have this massive application that we just can't rewrite due to time constraints. there is one file with (shit you not) a php include function that when you reach the file it is including it is just......a php closing tag. Removing it breaks down the application. This one is over 6000 files (I know) and we cannot understand what in the love of Lerdorf and baby Torvalds is happening.

From a previous job we had this massive in-house Javascript "framework" for ajax shit that for whatever reason unknown to me had a bunch of function and object names prefixed with "hotDog<rest of the function name>", this was used by two applications. One still in classic ASP and the other in php version 4.something

Legacy apps written in Apache Velocity, which in itself is not that bad, but I, even as a PHP developer, do not EVER mix views with logic. I like my shit separated AF thank you very much.

A large mobile application that interfaced with fucking everything via webviews. Shit was absolutley fucking disgusting, and I felt we were cheating our users.

A rails app with 1000 controller methods.

An express app with 1000 router methods with callbacks instead of async await even though async await was already a thing.

ultraFuckingLarge Delphi project with really no consideration for best practices. I, to this day enjoy Object Pascal, but the way in which people do delphi can scare me.

ASP.NET Application in wich there seemed to be a large portion of bolted in self made ioc framework from the lead dev, absolute shitfest, homie refused to use an actual ioc framework for it, they did pay the price after I left.

My own projects when I have to maintain them.

I never had problems with punctuation marks during coding, especially the notorious semicolons because I've always used an IDE, ain't gotta time to waste on compiler errors.

But today I meet my nemesis, a fucking comma wasted an hour of my precious time, causing my unit tests to fail in Python, my unit tests where expecting a list and the actual value is a tuple, it turned out that there was this trailing comma - which I don't know where the hell it came from - at the end of a function call that returns a list.

I only noticed this freaking comma after Pycharm indicated a conflict between the returned type and the expected type and underlined the culprit, that small invisible fucker 😬.

Thank you Pycharm and type hints in Python 3.

this is why, my fellow devs, you have to use an IDE.

PS: For those of you who aren't familiar with python, a trailing comma at end of a variable turns it into a one element tuple.

1, = (1,)

While working on my one of the first project in java i ended up using deprecated Calendar API for the date. Since deadline was near i thought it would be a good idea to use the JCalendar API for as date picker (which is a third party API).BAD IDEA. It was the night before the submission round about 11pm when i realized that there is no way to convert JCal object into Calendar and it turned out it is not working as expected you have to subtract a particular number from the year to get date right.

To convert JCal into Calendar i used the toString function to get the date in string sliced it using substring into year,month,day then had to assign date to Calendar object via constructor.
Had to write 70 lines of code just to convert JCal into Calendar...

And then there were other complications related to this problem. Had tu pull an all nighter just to solve date related problems
LESSONS LEARNED :
NEVER USE A DEPRECATED API
NEVER USE THIRD PARTY APIs WITHOUT RESEARCH

It's about a guy that knows better.

I was working as a subcontractor on a bigger system. We (subs) were not allowed to deploy code, we had to wait for contractor to deploy.

One day I got an email that my code is bugged and that my feature is not working on production. I checked it on test env, everything was fine. Then I checked if the code I wrote was deployed. It was not.

I send an email explaining that if they deployed my code it would be working. Then I got a response. There was a bug in my code.

Another email. I asked how would they know? Do they have a test on their environment that failed?

No. There is one guy that READ my code and he said it should not work, so he will not deploy it. He was not a programmer, he was a business consultant responsible for the documentation.

His issue was that I used a function that was not in a class. So if the function is not declared it's obvious it will not work. I had to explain to him in another email, that you can use object of another class inside your class and then call a function, that is not in your class. It was the last time this guy blocked my deploy.

TL;DR, I had to explain a non-dev how object composition works in order to have my code deployed. Took four emails.

during code review...
peer: "you should pass this variable, and extract the logger from it"
me: "why? it is a 3 line logging function. why not pass the logger instance?"
peer: "because that is our best practice. It is the way we do things"
me: "why is it a best practice?"
peer: "because it is. We use it everywhere!"
me: "No we don't. And I still don't understand why is this a best practice. can you explain?"
peer: gives ups, did not look at the mr, and was not going to.

mr stays open. probably forever.

Sometimes I want to slap myself.

I’ve been making progress with my voice activated TV remote project - coz you got to use a Google Home and a Raspberry pi for something right? Right??

Anyway, when the API you have written suddenly stops working and you’ve spent hours trying to solve it, it is really soul crushing when you realise you’re using a class variable incorrectly

I’ll just go cry now, while I control my tv 😥😎

Class TVAPI{
Private $tvIP = “192.xxx”;
Private $args = $this->decodeArgs($_GET);

Function of tvVolume(){
exec(“python tvRemote.py {$tvIP} {$this->args}”);
}
}

I'm such a dumb fuck....
It took me fucking 30 mins to figure out that I use a function which relies on a copy of an object that's copied one line after the function call instead of before...

PLEASE KILL ME

1 - I have this incredible software idea
2 - I start coding right away
3 - I get stuck because I don't know how to use some function and start googling
4 - I don't find a solution for the coding problem I had, but instead I find out that someone already made the brilliant software I was trying to make, with more use cases covered, better design and stuff.
5 - I remember the uncountable times this had happened before
6 - *goddammit*
7 - Think about making a tattoo that says "google it before coding it"

GoodGuy BroCow
Senoir problem
2years back

Senoir dev was assigned to make a webapp for billing

Dude uses dreamviewer and writes code like a bitch

Phpmysqljqueryhtml whole thing mixed very badly and undocumented

His function name format fun_1()

a simple update cost him a day,

Told him to use brackets atleast and also a framework ,guy denies

Days go by

He learns a lot of stuffs from me ,like how to use inspect in chrome lol, how to use sqlite for small projects , and orm and frameworks.

He used to pin his mistakes on me, so that boss gets angry on me

Then i quit the job

2 years went by

Now he is unemployed, nobody wants a 24 year old plain php coder and template editing web developer

Anyway I hired him, he was my first senior, whatever he did,it didnt matter to me, bcoz i remember

the days we spent on the same hall right next to each other coding in php,

days we brainstormed to fix a div

Also the days we ate lunch and breakfast together

not sure if counts as a compliment, but the follwing exchange with my team lead programmer felt pretty good:

"... wait, where did you find this function you're using here?"

"i didn't, it was missing so i wrote it."

"but... oh, i didn't realize you're gonna need it, if i had, i'd have given you a different task... noooo, that's internal framework functionality, i write that stuff for you guys so that you can just use it, cause it's complicated... oh, god, no, where did you put, how did you imple... (right clicks, go to definiton)... oh, it's exactly where it's supposed to be... (skims the code)... and is written exactly as if i had written it.
(looks at me and smiles, then turns to the rest of the team), guys, that component i told you to wait with making because i first need to write that complicated utility function that you'll need to use? you can start working on it now, Midnight wrote that function for me. (turns back to me) Nice, quick learner. But next time, at least let me know first, yeah?"

(that was third day in a new job, corporate-sized system. the rest of the team had been working there on that system for the past 2 years.

(probably not a good form, kinda going over team lead's head, but tbh i didn't realize i'm not supposed to touch that code because "it's complicated", while doing my task i just realized i need a function similar to a family of already implemented ones, so i just followed their convention amd added it.)

tl;dr - best programming compliment is people being surprised/confused that i did something which they thought as a normal thing that they will have to do for me, because it's in their job description to be doing it for people on my position/with my job description)

I'd say one of the best advice a dev gave me, was that, I should not write duplicate code, but rewrite these parts to a single function.

And another one: If you use specific values in the code, instead of putting it in multiple places, assign it to a variable at one place and use the variable later on.

These advices sound quite trivial, but I think every beginner should learn these as eary as possible.
Boiiii have I seen shitty code from people who don't give a hobo's ass about maintainable code.

Be a good coder.
Write for quality, not quantity.
Care about your successor.

Thank you.
If not, I will fucking find you, fill your guts with napalm and light you up alive on a rusty pole while laughing hysterically.

MENTORS - MY STORY (Part I)

I've had several great mentors during my career. This is the story of the three most important.

1.- Professor E.
When I was on my first year (University - Computer Science), all my professors were 'normal' except for this one.

E. was the Programming I - Laboratory professor. And the most important thing he teached us was to think. To be independent, and to look for answers beyond simple solutions.

He was always pushing us beyond what was requested and to try new things, to try to improve our own solutions and to look at them as always improvable.

In a regular class, this would happen:
Student: Hey E. How can I do this X requirement?
E.: Use function xyz with A and B parameters.
S: Ok thanks...

...10 minutes later...

S: Hey E. that function doesn't work very good for my case.
E.: You have a book, you have internet connection. Don't waste 10 minutes trying to abide what I told you. Investigate, find a way or even a better way; use your resources.

Other example, in the first year all projects were requested to be delivered with text based interface (console projects).
What about E.?
"Well, you CAN deliver your project with a text based interface BUT you definitely SHOULD try to make a GUI, something simple but effective. Just so you learn more in the process"

Good E. He gave me strong foundations for this industry.

What really grinds my gears.
When a co-worker gives me feedback from a review of my code be like "you should use if..elseif..else instead of switch, because it performs much better.
in this case performing much better means it is only 25 pikosecond instead of 30 pikosecond in a function which is called apprx. 3 times a month in production *facepalm*

I'm always with "let's get maximum performance from our software", but c'mon... really?!???

Backstory: A few months ago, I wrote an inventory management web app for internal use by the sales team, logistics, and whoever else might need to use it.

Earlier this week: A few minutes before I usually leave, my phone rings. It's some dude I've never heard of. No idea what his function at the company is, still don't, probably never will, don't care. He's never used the app before, and says he's having problems. His cube's on my way out, so I swing by.

I'm not making this next part up. This dude is probably 60 years old, and he's using a very old looking gateway desktop (with the cow print logo thing on the chassis), running Windows XP (not a typo), using IE7.

I don't know what to say, so I just stare at the desktop, look at dude, laugh, and eventually explain that he's never going to be able to use the system via the web app until his rig is replaced.

What the fucking fuck is this. How could this have happened. How do our it people still fucking have jobs. Better question, how did this thing survive the y2k bug?

I'm going to kill management.
After a serious migration fiasco at one of our biggest costumers the platform was finally usable again (after two days instead of 10 hours) and, of course, users started to report bugs. So good old po came in ranting that we as qa did a horrible job and basically tried to fault us for a fucked up update (because we produced user pain, which of course not being able to log in didn't do). Among the issues: If the user has more than a hundred web pages the menu starts looking ugly, the translation to dutch in one string on the third submenu of a widget doesn't work and a certain functionality isn't available even if it's activated.
Short, they were either not a use case or very much minor except for that missing function. So today we've looked through the entire test code, testing lists, change logs and so on only to discover that the function was removed actively during the last major update one and a half years ago.

Now it's just waiting for the review meeting with the wonderful talking point "How could effective QA prevent something like this in the future" and throwing that shit into his face.

I mean seriously, if you fuck shit up stand by it. We all make mistakes but trying to pin it on other people is just really, really low.

The new mobile app codebase i'm working with, was clearly written by someone who just read a book on generics and encapsulation.

I need to pull out 2 screens into a separate library to have it shared around. The 1 networking request used is wrapped up in a 'WebServiceFactory' and `WebServiceObjectMapper`, used by a `NetworkingManager` which exposes a generic `request` method taking in a `TopLevelResponse` type (Which has imported every model) which uses a factory method to get the real response type.

This is needed by the `Router` which takes a generic `Action` which they've subclassed for each and every use case needing server communication.

Then the networking request function is part of a chain of 4 near identical functions spread across 4 different files, each one doing a tiny bit more than the last and casting everything to a new god damn protocol, because fuck concrete types.

Its not even used in that many places, theres like 6 networking calls. Why are people so god damn fucking stupid and insist on over engineering the shit out of their apps. I'm fed the fuck up with these useless skidmarks.

I just realised that I've been experiencing a lot of stress and frustration over the last couple of months. I also realised that these feelings of dread and existential anxiety stem from my heavy use of Ubuntu. So I ended another agonizing 3 hours of trying-to-get-internet-access-again-so-I-can-get-some-fucking-work-done and managed to blow off some steam without causing too much property damage. Then I sat down and thought about it. And you know what? I hate Ubuntu.

With Window$ I can at least get some work done without having to write my own network drivers because the current ones do not function when the day of month is a prime number or some shit.

One of the first things I learned while screwing around in Linux for the first time was the calendar in the terminal. I never thought I'd have an actual use for cal, and it just sat in the back of my mind for a year.

Then, two weeks ago, I needed to find the date for a saturday in December, because I thought it was the seventh. My duck was like "Hey, your terminal is right there, why not use that cal function instead of looking for your calendar?" And I was like "Dude, that's genius!"
I have since done it thrice more for various reasons, and it has saved me like four minutes in total. I love all the little things like this in Linux (I'm pretty sure Windows and obviously MacOS do the same thing with practically the same command, but shut up and let me enjoy myself (and it just feels more accessable in Linux because I use the terminal so much more often))

So yeah
Stuff

God I need something to do...
Wait! I have several things to do! The first one will be making a list of all my projects.
Or spending another two hours on devRant.

I was helping my girlfriend's sister on her programming homework yesterday. But the thing is that she missed a lot of classes to be with her boyfriend. So now she has a reasonably advanced task, without knowing the basics.

Her assignment was to open a file, extract it's text, and count how many times an user-given word appeared on it. So here's how it went:

- so you use the input function to ask the user to type the word.
- ok, but where do I type the word?
- in that black screen, on the bottom of visual code
~ changes name of the variable that receives the input()~
-like that?
- no, that is just the variable name. You should type in that black screen AT THE BOTTOM OF VISUAL CODE
- oh, ok.
~ changes name of .py file ~

PHP ist one of the languages I use regularly, but not the main language.
Anyhow, passing an array to a function will create a Copy of the array unless you specifically choose to Pass the reference.
That's seriously fucked up. What other language does that?! Coming from C, Java, Python to PHP I was not prepared to expect shit like that.

I don’t like to judge people based on what languages they like (because I like all of them). But I can’t deny the pattern anymore.

Smart people know and enjoy smart languages: Smalltalk, OCaml, Clojure, Lisp, Haskell, etc. They may use JavaScript or PHP to make money, but ask them to code in their smart language and they’ll be more efficient. Getting old, some of those people say “screw it” and find a Haskell job.

You, my friend, are not one of those people. You are VSCode-dwelling goblin who thinks lambda calculus has something to do with JS arrow function notation, is scared of reduce() and not even good at the single fucking language they know.

Insta coders and that mechanical keyboard collector dorks are not “superstars” you got to be like.

Hello devRant, this is going to be my first time posting on the site.

I work for a gaming community on the side, and today one of the managers asked me to implement a blacklist system into the chat and reactivate the previously existing one temporarily. This shouldn't have had any issues and should've been implemented within minutes. Once it was done and tested, I pushed it to the main server. This is the moment I found out the previous developer apparently decided it would be the best idea to use the internal function that verifies that the sender isn't blacklisted or using any blacklisted words as a logger for the server/panel, even though there is another internal function that does all the logging plus it's more detailed than the verification one he used. But the panel he designed to access and log all of this, always expects the response to be true, so if it returns false it would break the addon used to send details to the panel which would break the server. The only way to get around it is by removing the entire panel, but then they lose access to the details not logged to the server.

May not have explained this the best, but the way it is designed is just completely screwed up and just really needs a full redo, but the managers don't want to redo do it since apparently, this is the best way it can be done.

PHP arrays.

The built-in array is also an hashmap. Actually, it's always a hashmap, but you can append to it without specifying indexes and PHP will use consecutive integers. Its performance characteristics? Who knows. Oh, and only strings, ints and null are valid keys.

What's the iteration order for arrays if you use them as hashmaps (string keys)? Well, they have their internal order. So it's actually an ordered hashmap that's being called an array. And you can produce an array which has only integer keys starting with 0, but with non-sequential internal (iteration) order.

This array weirdness has some non-trivial implications. `json_encode` (serializes argument to JSON) assumes an array corresponds to a JSON array if its keys are consecutive integers in increasing order starting with 0, otherwise the array becomes a JSON object. `array_filter` (filters arrays/hashmaps using callback predicate) preserves keys, so it will punch holes in the int key sequence if non-last items are removed, thus turning arrays into hashmaps and changing your JSON structure if you forget to discard keys before serialization.

You may wonder how JSON deserialization works, then? There's a special class for deserialized JSON objects, `stdClass`. It's basically a hashmap too, but it's an object, not an array, and all functions that would normally accept arrays won't work with it. So basically its only use is JSON (de)serialization. You can even cast arrays to objects, producing `stdClass`.

Bonus PHP trivia:

Many functions return nonsensical values. `preg_match`, the regex matching function, returns 1 for success, 0 for no matches and false for malformed regular expression. PHP supports exceptions, so it could just throw one on errors. It would even make more sense to return true, false and null for these three cases. But no, 1, 0 and false. And actual matches are returned by output arg.

`array_walk_recursive`, a function supposed to recursively apply callback to each element of an array. That's what docs say. It actually applies it to leafs only. It will also silently accept object instead of array and "walk" it, but without recursing into deeper objects.

Runtime type enforcing is supported for function arguments and returned values. You can use scalar types, classes, array, null and a few special keywords. There's also a `mixed` keyword, which is used in docs and means "anything". It's syntactically valid, the parser will accept it, but it matches no values in runtime. Calling such function will always cause a runtime error.

Strings can be indexed with negative integers. Arrays can't.

ReflectionClass::newInstanceWithoutConstructor: "Creates a new class instance without invoking the constructor". This one needs no commentary.

`array_map` is pretty self-explanatory if you call it with a callback and an array. Or if you provide more arrays of equal length via varargs, callback will be called with more arguments, one from each array. Makes sense so far. Now, you can also call `array_map` with null instead of callback. In that case it treats provided arrays as rows of a matrix and returns that matrix, transposed.

Why the fuck does Arduino use C++ macros for min, max, abs, etc. ???????

---
For those who don't know what a macro is, basic example:
#define abs(x) (x > 0 ? x : -(x))
Which looks like a function, but instead abs() will be replaced by the expression and all x will be replaced literally with what you pass to abs
So
abs(i++)
would evaluate to
(i++ > 0 ? i++ : -(i++))
which would call i++ twice
---

I guess I will have to double check every built in function and rewrite it if it's a macro -_-. Not taking any chances. Btw all Arduino functions are in one big file, so now I have to pollute my code with namespaces.
Macros can be great but what the fuck.

A Vue application I'm tasked with fixing consists of one single huge component, wouldn't survive even the most liberal use of linting, and has a reloadPage() function.

How fucked am I?

At the ranters who use Vim as their primary IDE. How do you manage to get some autocompletion working?
I want to be one of the cool kids and use Vim for coding but I am so used to a good autocompletion like the one IntelliJ offers.
I want to be able to browse through every method of an object or function of a module. But Vims build in engine sucks ass and YouCompleteMe doesnt seem to work that good either (only tested with Javascript, Typescript and Elm). They dont show all the correct identifiers but they do show some other random stuff.

How do you guys manage to be productive? How do you make it show only the usefull stuff?

When it comes to the indentation or look I am fully consistent.
But when it comes to naming I am inconsistent like a crack whore telling she's clean.
Camelcase, underscores inconsistent variable and function names. I use all of them within a single file. On some days I even switch languages.
I truly am miserable in code consistency. Is there any good advice to keep the code consistent?

*Senior Dev:* Ah yes, we need to put try-catch in every function to handle errors and Logger.Log() at the beginning.
*Me:* Is not better to define a global error handler and use the stacktrace instead of doing all that?
*Senior Dev*: ...
*Senior Dev*: Is a rule here, do what I'm telling you.

CSS quick maffs:

Using viewport units to define font size but sometimes it's too small?

Instead of font-size: 10vw;

use font-size: calc(10vw + 20px);

This will make sure that font size is AT LEAST 20 px no matter the viewport width. Treat the resulting font size like a function of viewport width and feel free to experiment with it. With calc in that case you can achieve the best typeface responsiveness possible.

Well I'm a first year student in computer science and in the first semester we started to learn C language and the IDE they told us to use for better learning was Devcpp.
We made a few small projects and all went well, but now in the second semester we started to make bigger projects with linked lists and memory allocation and Devcpp starts to be a complete bug itself... We are working hard in the project and after saving the project with no errors at all, at the next day, Devcpp starts to make any function we made invalid...
So we spoke to the same teacher about this and asked what can we do about it....
"Are you using Devcpp? You shouldn't, it is not that good for C"...
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

WHY Atom, when I explicitly select a suggestion do you NOT ACTUALLY AUTOCOMPLETE THE SUGGESTION ?

I have configured so many fucking settings to try to avoid this why is it that I have to explicitly select my option 3 and 4 times before you ACTUALLY auto fill it.

I use you specifically FOR the auto complete function and you FUCK ME OVER ON IT.

I can just not seem to find a text editor or IDE that doesn't annoy the shit out of me one way or the other

Dear ESLint,
- you convinced me to put a space between function() and {
- you convinced me to use single quotes for strings in place of double quotes
- you convinced me to put a space between inline operators
- you had me when you said that trailing spaces shouldn't compare in my code
- you said to put semicolons at the end of each instruction, and I thought it wasn't a so bad idea

BUT NO FUCK OFF NO NEVER I WON'T NEVER PUT A FUCKING TRAILING COMMA IN THE END OF JAVASCRIPT OBJECT IT'S MEANINGLESS UGLY A WASTE OF A FUCKING BYTE.
WHY THE FUCK I SHOULD TYPE var obj = {a: 'some text',} INSTEAD OF var obj = {a: 'some text'} WHY WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THAT FUCKING COMMA

So this phallus decided to make my day a night mare, I coded the Interface in separate class for each distinct services, He just told me to re write it to one class, before he don't understand it.

I wrote documentation, he said it is not professional. and now the fucking codes are containing redundancies.

For instance if he use my method, all he need is call my function once, and call it everywhere. But now the code is messy as fuck, calling the same thing over and over again which can be done by separate it to a function once, and reuse it.

I wrote this and wonder if it is actually useful. This is a function that eliminates the need for document.getElementById. In the HTML you just set an attribute (jsv) to some value and this scoops that up and puts it in the global scope for you to use.

Neat or shit?

Have you noticed that many core Linux C programs use "die" as the error-and-exit method name?

Just shows how much these devs think of Linux processes as living people.

Now one of us just has to create a Skynet without the die() function.

why people around me act like dump. i have recently worked with this site, which is written in php.

customer: (yelling) my website is hacked, fix it immediately
me : ok sir, we will restore your site immediately

after finishing talk with customer. i have checked website, there is no sign of website being hacked. i have checked server logs and website for security breach, there is no sign.

me: your website is not hacked, sir. can you please tell me where you have seen hacked page.
customer: look at those pages

after seen that page i facepalmed myself. it's a bug, person who created that page just splitted string without using any multibyte function, so page is showing with corrupted characters. i fixed it and problem solved. i have told about that bug, to the person who created that page.

me: hey you have used this function which is not able to handle multibyte characters, you should use multibyte character functions for that one.
person: every characters are the same. we shouldn't need to handle that way.

he is actually a senior developer. who don't even know the difference between unicode and ascii characters.

Name a more iconic duo than web developers on help sites and having pissing contests over which modules they use instead of actually answering the question!

I've been a web dev/server admin for all of about a month now, and only known PHP for about a week of that, and the one thing really that grates on me isn't PHP's odd function naming inconsistencies or at times outright trash documentation, it's the other developers who, when asked a fairly straightforward question about why a mysqli function won't return something, demand you use PDO instead.

Please. I'm running a LEMP stack on a Raspberry Pi here, I'm trying to keep dependencies to an absolute minimum because the SD card is tiny, the Pi will catch on fire if it runs any hotter, and more dependencies are more potential points of failure. Just answer the damn question. I'm not going to install PDO for something I know I can do anyway just because it makes my code look slightly prettier.

Honourable mention to all you Node.js developers out there too, with your thousands of useless npm dependencies. I salute you.

We are required to use corporate SSO for any authenticated internal websites, and one of the features they require you to implement is a "logout" button.

They provide a whole slew of specifications, including size and placement/visibility, etc. They provide an SSO logout URL you must redirect to after you take care of your own application logout tasks.

Makes sense... except the logout URL they provide to serve the actual SSO logout function broke over 3 months ago, and remains non-functional to this day.

Apparently I'm the first person (and perhaps one of the only people) who reported it, and was told "just not to worry about it".

So, we have a standing feature request to provide a button... that doesn't actually work.

Corporate Security - Making your corporation _appear_ more secure every day...

Boost is the jQuery of C++. Weighs a shitton and you only use 1 function.

Why would someone in their right mind change a piece of code that was working fine (and it wasn't a complete mumbo jumbo in styling, logic, transparency, was in line with how the project was coded etc..) to use dapper just to call a stored procedure?! Dafaq is wrong with people!?
Or is it just me & I'm overreactig again?!
I hate when people add more stuff to projects that are already overbloated with fw/techologies to do something so trivial.. like adding 6827646 js fw so you can use one function in each (or are simply still there because they didn't know how to use it and left it in project) which could easily be achieved with our own fw we use...wtf?! O.o
// me cringing, cussing etc..

!multirant

1. MonoDevelop

Installed Unity for a game I'm working on. Realized I didn't reinstall VS when my SSD got corrupted. Didn't install VS plugin w/ Unity.

So now I have MonoDevelop. It's not a bad editor, but PLEASE. IF YOU ARE GOING TO HIGHLIGHT A FUNCTION WITH RED BECAUSE IT DOESNT EXIST IN THE CLASS, THEN TELL ME, WHAT THE FUCK EXISTS IN THE CLASS!

2. UnityJS

Unity's JS implementation is terrible.

First, let's throw basic syntax shit out on the window. string.toUpperCase? Nah, let's make it string.ToUpperCase to annoy the shit out of devs.

AND SOME OF THE STANDARD FUNCTIONS ARENT EVEN FUCKING WORKING!

Need to use parseInt(string, 2)? WELL GO FUCK YOURSELF, BECAUSE WE DIDNT IMPLEMENT THAT SHIT.

...or use C# I guess...

FUCK UNITY.
🖕🖕🖕

Confession: every now and then a Google search for a JS function or something directs me to W3schools. And I proceed to use it. And I'm not afraid to admit this!!

A fellow mate I graduated with recently asked me to help him with his interview sample coding questions. Basically he had to write a function to test different conditions using Java. I wrote the function, pushed it to git and asked him to go check it out. He told me afterwards that, my function was wrong..lol, really? (BTW, I tested it and it produced the results the company wanted)

I asked him to send me his code and all he did was write a "main", created an instant variable and passed it in a switch statement. Mind you, the test condition was big that, switch statement was the worse to use...

I told him to do whatever he wants but he should remember that the question wants a damn function given a certain input. Didn't hear from him again...then later asked me to help him with a SQL question...hah, I didn't even bother looking at the question.

React developers, What do you think about the new hooks api?

Will you refactor your codebases to use functional components or just stick with classes (even though the react community is moving towards removing classes completely)?

I think its awesome as it reduces the bundle sizes if you use function components though. I have been working on an awesome project for a while and I'm being tempted to refactor the whole codebase to use functions instead of classes. What do you think?

This is what happened today in our dayli:

Lead: We need to profile our software

Me: You can use the chrome devtools as remote profiler, even on prod, or make HAR files for later inspection.

Lead: Yeah but no that’s just collecting data on every tick, we need something like “has been called x times”

Me: Yeah but you can filt -

Lead: Yeah no, so back when I wrote code in Delphi...

Me: *oh god no not this again*

Lead: ... We could have clicked a button in our IDE and it would wrap the function call with the API call to profile that function ...

Me, to the secret dev group in slack: doesn’t a simple method decorator and node performance api help with that?

The people in the group: We had this topic last Friday all day...

Me: oh well *get’s coffee and ignores lead*

I've made the json protocol. It's a protocol containing only json. No http or anything.

To parse an json object from a stream, you need a function that returns the length of the first object/array of all your received data. The result of that function is to get the right chunk of the json to deserialize.

For such function, json needs to be parsed, so I wrote that function in C to be used with my C server and Python client. I finally implemented a C function into python function that has a real benefit / use case. Else you had to validate but by bit by the python json parser and that's slow while streaming. Some messages are quite big.

Advantage of this protocol is that it's full duplex.

I'm very happy!

!rant

I figured out a way to make your code readable!

The main idea: make everything into a function. Each function should be small and you should gradually use past functions to build future functions.

Depending on the language and the size of your code you should make your functions with different sizes, but always keep them small.

This function splitting allows for debugging small parts of your code, avoids repetition and abstracts your code, each making it more readable.

That's it. I'm fucking retarded. I'm just so fucking retarded. I'm so fucking supid, it makes me wonder why do I even keep trying. I'm not sure I even have the energy in my fingers to keep typing this stupid rant.

I've been banging my head against this stupid fucking issue for A WEEK. Digging into the documentation, trying different library versions, trying to move stuff around even if it didn't make sense, trying to use different approaches because maybe I was missing something, or maybe I didn't understand some concept.
Surely spawning a child function from a parent can't be that hard, right?

Nothing.

Even tried it on a different OS - who knows, maybe it's Windows doing some if its magic fuckery?

Still nothing.

"Wait, why am I calling this function directly instead of calling its parent?"

Short rant: I hate xcode, I hate Swift, I hate Apple.

After 3 weeks of intensive work (I'm an apprentice, part-student, part-worker), I was happy to go back to school and was like "Oh we're going to learn iOS, sounds cool !".

It is now friday, I have homicidal tendencies growing inside me, I want to cry whenever I hear xcode or swift.

Why in the hell I can't use a string argument when I'm calling a function NEEDING a string arg ?
Why do xcode take so long to tell me that there is a problem, why is the error message not explicit AT ALL ?
Why dictionaries so hard to manipulate, EVEN IN JAVA IT'S SIMPLIER.
Why putting our API call in specialized files make them run AFTER EVERYTHING ELSE and the solution that is given to us is deprecated since 5 years ?
Why is a classic c-style for loop is now deprecated ?

These are just a drop in the ocean of WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT that we came across this week.

Fuck Swift, fuck xcode.

I wish I could just destroy Apple, and its fucked up IDE!

About the image:
I'm using an array of object ("SearchFilterse") called: searchFilters IT IS A FUCKING ARRAY!

What is XCode complaining about:
completion function requires an array of "SearchFilters" and the variable "searchFilters" is not an array

if xcode could only understand the line just above "completion(result, searchFilters) it will fucking understand that I'm using a goddamn array!

and if I apply its proposed solution it tells me: Cannot use [[SearchFilters]] required is [SearchFilters]

I hate my life :)

The "unit" in unit test does not mean your ENTIRE APPLICATION. Ever heard of scope!?

I am amazed how often people write overblown test setups, mock hundreds of unrelated services, just to test one tiny bit of logic.

That bit of logic could have been a pure function.

For that pure function you could write a dead simple unit test. Given that input, I expect that output. Nothing more, nothing less. (It helps even more if the pure functions only accepts primitives, like string and numbers, or very simple immutable value objects).

No I don't care that the service is used by another service, as your mocked interaction also doesn't test the service as a whole but you just assume the happy case most of the time anyway. You want to test the entire application? Let's not use unit tests for that but let's use a different kind of test for that (integration test, functional tests, e2e-tests).

If you write code in a way that easily allows for unit testing, your need to mock goes away.

Ok, so one of the oldest guy is leaving from my company (on a good note) and he was involved in multiple things in our organization. From having access to almost everything (AWS, Github and owning multiple projects and our legacy code). I am supposed to take KTof one project and man THE CODE IS MESS. YOU DONT PUT A RANDOM NUMBER WHILE CALLING A FUNCTION. You are supposed to define a constant and use that. I've told my manager that I need at least 1 week just to improve logging.

What’s the use of daily sync meeting if you only have three dudes working together and already have Trello to list all the tasks?

And we have to report every single progress in person!?
Like I literally have to stand up and walk five feet to you just to say that I just finished a function and committed.
What the Duck ?!

Fuck my life! I have been given a task to extract text (with proper formatting) from Docx files.
They look good on the outside but it is absolute hell parsing these files, add to these shitty XML human error and you get a dev's worst nightmare.
I wrote a simple function to extract text written in 'heading(0-9)' paragraph style and got all sorts of shit.
One guy used a table with borders colored white to write text so that he didn't have to use tabs. It is absolute bullshit.

Ok, here goes...

I was once asked to evaluate upgrade options for an online shop platform.

The thing was built on Zend 1, but that's not the problem.

The geniuses that worked on it before didn't have any clue about best practices, framework convention, modular thinking, testing, security issues...nothing!

There were some instances when querying was done using a rudimentary excuse for a model layer. Other times, they would just use raw queries and just ignore the previous method. Sometimes the database calls were made in strange function calls inside randomly loaded PHP files from different folders from all over the place. Sometimes they used JOINs to get the data from multiple tables, sometimes they would do a bunch of single table queries and just loop every data set to format it using multiple for loops.

And, best of all, there were some parts of the app that would just ignore any ideea of frameworks, conventions and all that and would be just a huge PHP file full of spagetti code just spalshed around, sometimes with no apparent logic to it. Queries, processing, HTML...everything crammed in one file...

The most amazing thing was that this code base somehow managed to function in production for more than 5 years and people actualy used it...

Imagine the reaction I got from the client the moment I said we should burn it to the ground and rebuild the whole thing from scratch...

Good thing my boss trusted me and backed me up (he is a great guy by the way) and we never had to go along with that Frankenstein monster...

Some motherfucker pulled the entire fucking Lodash library off a CDN so he could use one fucking function.

Buddy, the library is open source, you can just copy the relevant code off Github

This is why websites are slow as fuck, devs import shit they don't need

This is not really the reason I got these parts, but I just had them lying around and have been following the project for some time... so why not? Haha. I was also thinking it might be cool to set these up to auto-disrupt known AP names that would be issued by companies most responsible for the dismantling of Net Neutrality. Like just make them in a dirt cheap throwie form-factor and let the companies deal with pissed off customers for a few days until the battery dies (thinking the little generic LiPo’s that cheap quadcopters use would give a few days if attacking sporadically and using the ESP’s sleep function). Just riffing here... ;P ;D

Today, for the first time since I've started coding, I had a legitimate use case for the multi-cursor feature of my IDE in reasonably DRY code.

Edit: nvm, I added a version of the function to support arrays on the first argument.

Programming contest assignments, first level:
1. "...if you don't know how to return values from a function, you can just print them"
2. "...if you don't know how to read files, you can assume data is in global variables"
3. Required recursion
4. "...and estimate its time complexity.", "You may pre-process the data, but use at most o(n^3)", "your algorithm must use under n^3 operations"

That escalated quickly!

Anybody loves python? I don't know why, but the more I use python, the more I seem to hate it. Specially the poor naming of the functions are just horrible! specially when you've been following the #CleanCodePrinciple strictly.

Let me give some example:
What does even "len" or "str" mean normally? is it a variable or a function? can anybody imagine?
where as in Java or JavaScript it is array.length and anyValue.toString()
anybody can understand what these things are, whether a variable or a function.

in python some functions are like "dothisorthat" and some are "do_this_or_that" some are "doThisOrThat". I mean, why can't you just follow an unified rule?

and there's this fragmentation between python 2 and 3! whether in stackoverflow or in youtube/udemy, a lot of them used python 2 and some uses python 3. I mean, can't they have some BackworkSupports?

>uni project
>6 people in group
>3 devs (including me)
I am in charge of electronics and software to control it as well as the application that will use them.

2 other "devs" in charge of a simple website.
Literally, static pages, a login/registration, and a dump of data when users are logged in.

Took on writing the api for the data as well, since I didn't fully trust the other 2.

Finished api, soldered all electronics, 3d printed models.

Check on the website.

Ugly af, badly written html and css.
No function working yet.

Project is due next week Thursday.

Guess who's not having a weekend and gonna be pulling 2 all nighters

I work in a big German company and we are a lot of teams building the company website.

Obviously the website is in German but almost all the devs are not German speakers, included the testers.

To make the work easier in the frontend we use sometimes the translation function of chrome and it's funny because a lot of time I got a bug opened by a tester for a wrong label because HE FUCKING FORGOT TO DISABLE THE TRANSLATION AND HE THINKS THAT THE LABEL IS IN THE WRONG LANGUAGE

Most successful project at work: NodeJS utility for storing loads of measurements from an application running on various other systems and providing fast ways of getting at that data. No DB, just CSV files broken into time periods. Also has a search function written in C that can very quickly find all user sessions matching the criteria. It's not perfect, but it does the job pretty well and I can tweak the storage engine as much as needed for our use case since its all custom written.

Outside of work: Incomplete right now but I soldered some wires onto an old sound card and managed to get an Arduino to configure it and play some notes on its FM synthesis chip. Still quite a newbie to electronics so this was quite an achievement for me personally.

User A: We need to do some check on our data. So you need to add in a new function for this, we can't use your system otherwise.
Me: Ok then.
Spends 2 days or so to get it working
Me: So this is the function we'll add. Can you confirm that its ok?
User A: Ohh...but now I'm not too sure about this. Let me confirm with my team lead on this.
User A: I just checked. Good news,we don't really need that function now. I think we can use it with the current one anyway haha. And I just confirmed this so no worries.
So I just wasted my time then. Great.

Decrypt api responses in an iOS app which my “senior” dev thinks it is more secure to encrypt responses in stead of setting up a proper SSL cert (they use plain http to save money 🙄)

They disable the encryption since it does not function as we wanted and set up SSL instead🙄

Building a website using Wordpress and Visual Composer for a client is pretty easy, right?!

Until the clients wants to change one of the icons to sofa “you can’t use image, and visual composer has a list of only 5 icon libraries and none of them has a fucking sofa icon”.

Manager says just do it today!
Ok no problem.. just had to figure how visual composer communicate with the libraries to show them in the module area, edit the function, create the font/svg files for the new icon, edit the css file of one of the libraries to add the icon. And boom its working fine!

No tutorial about this stuff so had to figure it out by reading the code and see how they did it so I can do it.

After finishing this, they just gave me few more changes as I have done nothing.

Thank you

!rant

I started learning to use Hadoop recently, and am running a VM with all I need installed on it (the HDF Sandbox to be exact). The VM wants 8GB to run and my laptop only has just that, except it also needs to run Windows at the same time...

At first I thought I was screwed, that I'd need a more capable computer to learn. I gave it a shot anyway, and told VirtualBox to give the VM 4GB, hoping the VM itself would use RAM swap to function. And it did!

What I didn't expect was Windows not slowing down even a bit. Turns out Windows can triple the computer's RAM with virtual memory that it keeps on disk.

So the bottom line is: my VM is using 4GB as if it was 8GB, and at the moment my Windows is using 8GB as if they were 14GB. All of this without breaking a sweat. The more you know!

Architect: I've been using this architecture for 20 years now and this works nice since pascal, that's why we are using it in this J2EE app.

This was the justification that I received after hearing that I shouldn't use exceptions, just make the function return a false and add the error message to a embedded message list and make the caller capture it.

In PHP, constants can only be of simple data types like strings or floats.

You can't make a database connection a constant because it's not a simple data type.
That makes the only way of accessing complex "constants" within functions using the keyword global... which is not encouraged and forces you to make the database connection global (that may not be convenient in some software patterns).
The last option is passing the database connection as a parameter (either to the function or to the constructor of the instance whose methods will use the connection)... which would be good if I didn't want to go full OO. Because it's a pain to do so.

So all in all, constants are not well supported by PHP.
Come on, constants...

python machine learning tutorials:
- import preprocessed dataset in perfect format specially crafted to match the model instead of reading from file like an actual real life would work
- use images data for recurrent neural network and see no problem
- use Conv1D for 2d input data like images
- use two letter variable names that only tutorial creator knows what they mean.
- do 10 data transformation in 1 line with no explanation of what is going on
- just enter these magic words
- okey guys thanks for watching make sure to hit that subscribe button

ehh, the machine learning ecosystem is burning pile of shit let me give you some examples:

- thanks to years of object oriented programming research and most wonderful abstractions we have "loss.backward()" which have no apparent connection to model but it affects the model, good to know
- cannot install the python packages because python must be >= 3.9 and at the same time < 3.9
- runtime error with bullshit cryptic message
- python having no data types but pytorch forces you to specify float32
- lets throw away the module name of a function with these simple tricks:
"import torch.nn.functional as F"
"import torch_geometric.transforms as T"
- tensor.detach().cpu().numpy() ???
- class NeuralNetwork(torch.nn.Module):
def __init__(self):
super(NeuralNetwork, self).__init__() ????
- lets call a function that switches on the tracking of math operations on tensors "model.train()" instead of something more indicative of the function actual effect like "model.set_mode_to_train()"
- what the fuck is ".iloc" ?
- solving environment -/- brings back memories when you could make a breakfast while the computer was turning on
- hey lets choose the slowest, most sloppy and inconsistent language ever created for high performance computing task called "data sCieNcE". but.. but. you can use numpy! I DONT GIVE A SHIT about numpy why don't you motherfuckers create a language that is inherently performant instead of calling some convoluted c++ library that requires 10s of dependencies? Why don't you create a package management system that works without me having to try random bullshit for 3 hours???
- lets set as industry standard a jupyter notebook which is not git compatible and have either 2 second latency of tab completion, no tab completion, no documentation on hover or useless documentation on hover, no way to easily redo the changes, no autosave, no error highlighting and possibility to use variable defined in a cell below in the cell above it
- lets use inconsistent variable names like "read_csv" and "isfile"
- lets pass a boolean variable as a string "true"
- lets contribute to tech enabled authoritarianism and create a face recognition and object detection models that china uses to destroy uyghur minority
- lets create a license plate computer vision system that will help government surveillance everyone, guys what a great idea

I don't want to deal with this bullshit language, bullshit ecosystem and bullshit unethical tech anymore.

Sooooo...

why does everyone use a million and 2 modules when working with node? I understand the speed of development goes up pretty quickly by not having to reinvent the wheel by retyping code that already exists, but...

the worst case tradeoff I've personally seen to date is someone who doens't know the difference between a string and an array but they "coded a web app" and it runs like soupy diarrhea.

maybe there's something I'm missing about node development, but I personally like writting code that does some task or function for myself to learn/understand how to do it and implement it. Usually, that also helps me figure out how and where to speed things up.

I'm just postulating that maybe reinventing the wheel can be a good thing, that's probably why we don't see formula1 cars using pennyfarthing wheels. 🧐

<warning>bad words</warning>

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!! LibreOffice Impress is a complete shit!! I am all about open source and such but this shit just sucks, moving elements around a frame snaps them to some grid, however when you paste an element from other frame it will have a different grid!!! This motherfucker has got an ALT function that will allow you to move the element more precisely but it only works seldom and it hates it when I try to use the fucking arrow keys - it even crashed once when I tried it. AND WHEN YOU FUCKING COPY A TABLE FROM ONE FUCKING FRAME TO ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKING FRAME, DELETE A FEW ROWS AND THEN COPY THE FREAKING TABLE BACK IT WILL HAVE MAGICALLY DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS BUT JUST EVER SO SLIGHTLY, BECAUSE FUCK THE USER, RIGHT??!!! (Doing this because there is no way to split tables into two different objects) I constantly have to save my presentation, kill the process and open it again because something just stops working or gets stuck, like seriously, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK???!!! Are there no tests?!!! Do the people who work on this piece of motherfucking shit even use it???!!

Fucking exam on Electronic Building Blocks... (aka Arduino). Program this thing ON GODFORGOTTEN PAPER! And then these retards put in that assignment line: max 5 lines of code, for a function that does nothing more than divide two shit eating numbers! And half of my apparently vegetative class fails this! When you were allowed to use your book and notes!

Oh and also, here's a seemingly pissed over image of an arduino with some peripherals, draw the wires. Draw! How the fuck do I keep 21 cocksuffocating wires on a page without overlaps or unclarity?

My IT-teacher has a website. Aside from it looking like from 1980 (which is ok), he has a "security js Mail decryption":
In his page there is a <script> with a simple yet custom de/encrypt function. Then his E-Mail is an <a href="javascript:mailto:function('rubberish173848'>private email</a>. (Or something like that)

You can just run this link (open email app and read it) or use the same function and same href in the browser console and read it. It sounds so stupid.

(Yet I figured out he probably doesn't want bots to spam his mail, so maybe I am stupid)

!rant
the most popular ecommerce solution in php is a massive (cosmological scale) pile of corporate crap (magento) and the next most popular is an abomination (opencart)
after fucking around with both for a month (the client asked for the project to be using only one of the two) I'm still barely reaching any results, and most of my time is wasted with the stupid bloated spaghetti that is opencart FUCK THIS,
like seriously. who the fuck writes a single line three left joins sql querry with four or five aliases a couple concacts and a bunch sorting fuckeries just to query the categories list, then just query the details of the specific category from a different function,
also why the fuck map each language string manually. or the fucking hardcoded seo urls, or the use of myisam for all tables, and no fucking foreign keys, let that settle for a minute, no foreign keys, the delete method in the model has at least a twenty lines, and then he came with the genius idea of duplicating models, in the front and the backend, accessing the same data, as the same user, but different naming conventions

I'm going to convince him to use something sane like codeigniter/laravel/fuelphp or I'll deny the project

The company I work for uses Coldfusion which is a dead technology in my opinion. I was tasked with using a data grid for our data from our mssql databases. This data grid I was trying out uses ajax to make a call to the server and expects the data transfered back in Json format. well coldfusion sucks balls because it's serializeJson function returns a outdated JSON structure and I can't use it. So obviously this datagrid throws errors and when I try looking up coldfusion solutions online or scope out stack overflow, the posts are dated like 6 years back because no one fucking uses CF anymore. My boss loves to jerk to it, it seems because he refuses to change languages cause its all they have ever used. -_- this is 2016 bitch lol

A friend of mine (beginner) wrote a Python script that calculated the derivative function of an function the user typed in. He showed it to me and
I said: "You should not use eval()!"
He: "Oh, ok. May you write a parser?"
I: "Wait! It's ok. Just use eval!" 😂

I started out on a Sinclair ZX 80. It has just 512 bytes of ram and you had to use a function button together with a key for each command since it did not have enough memory to keep the source in memory ;)

I attended few basic courses and then went on to hold them.

After a year there was suggestions of starting pascal courses so during the summer I read up in turbo pascal 5.5 but since the summer home did not have electricity I had to do it all theoretically for the first month before getting to try it out.

I got to try visual basic when doing school practice with Microsoft but the name was not set by then as it was a few months before the release.

Thats also where the more professional programming got going even though I did one pascal program that was used professionally before that.

I really loving coding but i cant stand people that take coding for granted, theres no single way to code there are a lot of ways to make a single function work and you can code it in different ways, i hate it when people dont use their imagination, in coding you dictate what you want to do, thats the power of coding

Switched from Python 2 to Python3 a while ago. The biggest challenge for me is still remembering to use print as a function.

Everyone wants faster programs, so doing more optimisations with GCC at -O3 instead of -O2 makes the program quite a bit larger, but... SLOWER. Makes sense, right? Why do you even have -O3 if it generates larger AND slower binaries than -O2?

Ah IC, it's because you use that level only on individual hot functions, not on the full program. How do I do that? Function attribute for optimisation. Cool. Uhm, what is the exact syntax? The fucking GCC documentation doesn't say that. When will devs finally learn to give bloody EXAMPLES?!

Googling around. Ah, with quotes, but without the leading hyphen it seems. Copy/paste. Compile again, tadaa: it's only a little bit but still FUCKING SLOWER than -O2!

GCC's -O3 is like that stupid kid at McD that ate like a damn horse, had to vomit afterwards and was even more hungry than before!

What if I told you that algebra, geometry, precalculus's (ect) laws are the equivalent of api/documentation. we learn them and use them when necessary to solve problems. I will use the quadratic formula in math to solve a problem just like I would use a particular function in programming.

A random relative at family function...
...
Relative: what do you do at Clg?🤨

ME: I learned about Python.!🤓

Relative: where u gonna use it?🤨

ME: with Anaconda and Spider.!🤓

Relative: so you work at zoo.!

ME: 😐😐😐

RIP relative😔

Please fucking tell me there's a better cleaner way to write this render() function?

The use of so many "in-line" code evaluations, arrow functions, (), {}, ...

Just spent like probably 30 minutes just trying to figure out what closes what...

And the author is inconsistent?

Sometimes he uses map( location => { return ... })

other times he uses setState((prevState) => ({ key: this.state.keyValue}))

And there's no note as to why... are they interchangeable, used in specific cases, does it matter????!!!!!!

Or is he just trying to demonstrate 1000 different ways you can say the same thing in JS?

!@#!#@!$#%#$!@#!@#!#$$%

Fuck Wordpress, Fuck Wordpress's PHP
I'm so fucking tired of everything in this godforsaken CMS. Import a JS File? Sure, just add a *completely obvious* line into a very specific PHP File, where you'll have to specify a lot of "useful" parameters. No, I somehow DON'T want to specify that I don't wand jQuery in every import. And don't even get me started on Content Delivering. Embed CSS? Sure, just write the fucking whole path to the file, or use the broken get_stylesheet_uri() Function. Embed an Image? Sure, let me just go to the Backend and wait 6 Minutes for this bullshitty System to upload the image and then copy the hard-coded Link. Oh, you want to remove googleapi embeds? Sure, let me just fuck up your whole Website in return.
You want jQuery? Well instead of using the "$" Symbol, you have to use the jQuery() Function. Except when you don't have to, which is 100% random each time you reload the page. Oh, you actually did import a JS File? Sure, let me just not run it. Thank you fucking piece of shit thats calling itself "WordPress" and fuck you and everyone whos actively encouraging its usage

TL;DR: intel stripped the hosted network function from the drivers for my wifi chip. Older versions can still so it

Every month I travel by bandbus to neighbouring countries for a show.
This usually takes 7+ hours.

So i have my laptop with me and if my brother is along as well, we game in the bus.

Using a cable for internet connection isnt handy, since we sit on opposite sides of the bus. So i looked up if I can use a hosted wifi network for this.

We both checked out our drivers and both said no hosted network support.
And some posts on the internet said that customer support told them that the chip can't do it

But thats weird. My laptop is high end. So I searched a little only to find out that I can do a hosted wifi network if I DOWNGRADE my drivers.....

Fuck you intel. Fuck you hard for stripping that function from the drivers

GameDeving.. soon my boss asks us if we can use CI, we make unity fully function with jenkins, after a week, he asks us to use gitlab ci, we make it, 2 hours later he sees the results: "yeah.. forget about ci.. let's use the cloud build".

i'm crying.

Just signed up for this site, took me three minutes to figure out how to post a rant.

Do the designers know what a call to action is? Where in this screenshot tells me "post a rant here" or "click here to write your first" or "new rant" or even a plus symbol, pencil, paper, or any sort of symbology?

Nope. It's in a vague, almost invisible menu with a symbol of three dots that usually means "things you don't normally use might be in here". The main function of the site. Tucked away where nobody can see it.

Bad UX has no excuse in 2020.

Just a quick rant on JavaScript,
So there’s a lot of people hating javascript, and while not a long time ago i was part of them, but I changed my opinion a little.

I think JavaScript is a great way to deal with website programming as it is quick and efficient, but I would not say to program directly on it, use a js-compilable language (CoffeScript, TypeScript, Kotlin(I think), etc.), but then you might say: “Well, no need for js then, compile it in byte code”. That would break the point of how I see web design/dev. The main intent behind webpages is to have an easy and fast way to send code to other computers to render them, that’s why it is interpreted: “Easy to send” and “*All* computers can handle it” with the proper browser. You need to be able to change the way the website is rendered and/or works sometimes, for diverse reasons like copy/pasting data, make it render properly or use plugins/add-ons to change that code to suit your needs.

I think js should be kept as a “readable byte-code”, so that means: {

Keep comments when compiling the js-compilable code,

Add standardized machine-readable comments that will indicate to smart code viewers how to show a particular thing (Like have a higher-end function compiled in js shown as a minimized code with explanations of the function)

Keep it nicely formated and don’t obfuscate (coz that’s annoying)

Etc.
}

So you bypass the quirks and all that pesky js stuff, while keeping it’s good sides.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
Part 2:

Web design for non-web:

Ok so things like node.js, electron, react-native and all that stuff; I won’t say they’re bad but...

Why we have this is because web designers wanted to make desktop apps and were like “Hey! Making web pages is easy! Let’s port it to desktop”, the problem is: Web technologies were made to work on a restricted canvas, aka a browser. It’s good on web for reasons mention earlier and more. But it’s not on desktop! You’re trying to push it outside of those boundaries. It’s difficult to make it break that canvas and go outside, make something that really works! For social media clients and that kind of stuff that you want to make a little more inclusive, yes! it’s a great idea (hello devrantron ;), but not if it’s an exact same copy of the website, just use the website. But for things that are supposed to really make use of YOUR computer; no!

I see those PWA (progressive webapps aka mobile app, but it’s an offline website”), I stand for the same positions, social media and those sort of things: yes, great idea! Games? 🤢.

I have way more to say but I have difficulties to remember them while reading, so feel free to comment your thoughts

Lol, “just a quick rant”

Co-worker told me my code isn't up to" standard" and I don't follow "relevant convention" because I don't use a space after declaring a class/function AND inside the parentheses:

Me: class MyClass(something):

Her: class HerClass ( something ):

How do you do this personally?

One of my collegues:(C#)

A(him): i need to do a helper to transform 2 fields from a class that are DateTimeOffset to another offset. I want to create a new class that do that and to instantiate where i need it.
B(me): use extensions, they are nicer and they fit better in this case. Also if you want to use a helper just make a static function.
A: it's too complicated
B: Why?
A: Nevermind..

FUCK OFF!

Any JavaScript developers out there willing to help me out with something?

I have an interview question that I like to ask candidates that no one ever seems to get right. But, to me, it seems pretty basic, so I expect MOST JavaScript developers at almost any level of expertise to get it, and I like it generally because it demonstrates some core knowledge of JavaScript concepts and syntax.

But I want to verify that my feelings about it are reasonable, because give how few ever seem to get it right (and I'm talking across literally hundreds of interviews, MAYBE 2 people have ever gotten it right), I'm starting to wonder if I'm right or not.

Look at this code, and then answer the question after. Please do so off the top of your head and without testing anything since that's normally the experience a candidate would have. I'll give the answer after some time for anyone who gets it wrong but is curious.

But this isn't about YOU getting it right or not, and it's not about whether it's the best way to do something in JavaScript or anything like that, it's just about whether it's a reasonable question and whether my expectation that MOST JavaScript developers should get it right is fair.

const O = {
sayHello : function() { alert("Hello"); }
};
const S = "sayHello";

Question: using ONLY the variables O and S (and you MUST use both), write code that executes the sayHello function.

Thanks!

If there was an IDE which combines Xcodes debugging with Android Studios code completion, that would be an almost perfect IDE!

In Xcode you don‘t have to start the debugging process explicitly, you just set breakpoints while the app is running. Thats so much better than in Android Studio where you have to switch from normal running to debug mode.

In Android Studio you can use a function which is not declared yet and if you declare it afterwards, it is recogniced and can be completed by the code completion. Xcode does not know shit about undeclared funtions...

This kind of stuff is what causes developer's to loss their mind. If you have to write a comment saying do not use a function, REMOVE IT!

Salesforce lightning web components have such bullshit limitations that they claim is because of security but it's just because it's overengineered garbage.

Want to use web components? Nope.

Want to pass in a value to a function in a click listener expression? Nope.

Want to use scss? Nope, compile it to css yourself.

Want to use the fucking document object? Guess what it's overridden except for very specific third party frameworks.

Who in the fuck thought it was a good idea to override the document object? Your app isn't more secure, literally the entire internet uses the document object and it still becomes available in runtime anyway so what the fuck??

LWC is the biggest garbage I've ever seen, you know a framework's a big red flag when there are developers solely for the framework.

There is a new security release coming out that apparently removes some of these nuances (understatement) so there might be some light at the end of the tunnel.

Cracked my first weak RSA implementation challenge today. Feels pretty awesome.

Involved primes that were very close, which means you can factorize the modulus quickly to get the private key. Normally, you would never use close primes as prime factorization's difficulty relies a certain amount on some distance between the two values.

The reason you can brute force close primes has to do with them being close in value to the square root of the function, meaning that you can search far quicker than if you were to try every combination of primes.

So, my son is in the STEM program at school. They are suppose to use engineering methodologies in their learning process, according to the school. Apparently there is a new engineering process of step 1 try to write code for robot, step 2 build robot, step 3 make CAD design of how you will build the robot, step 4 write requirements for how the robot needs to function, step 5 robot doesn't work right, and step 6 lose robotics competition.

The other thing that is irritating me is they don't require kids to meet deadlines, just whenever you get it done is fine or if you need 10 tries to get it right. This is the second time the whole class has been disqualified from a competition because the teachers can't keep them on task.

I'm starting to really think public schools suck.

I implemented the equivalent of “?.” In typescript with a function callled safeRetrieve(descend into the field only if the object is not null).

We could not update typescript, so I just created this function and it made me used to use ‘keyof T’ as a parameter type… I still feel very satisfied after I use this approach with anything because it really feels like using typescript correctly!

By Thor (not the god, the dragon), Belial and Thor (the god, this time)...

Just got the sources for the software that runs on the SDR for my project. I think I just found the mother of all legacy code:
The whole behaviour is described in a single, 4000 lines C file. Most of the code is in a giant switch with cases selected from an enumeration with names that don't match their function. All varnames are overly long, yet hopelessly unhelpful. And why three fuck would you use pointer[0].data instead of (*pointer).data or pointer->data like a sane person would !? pointer isn't even an array, so why would you use []?

PHP code that didn't use sanitize, but manually checked if strings contained ' or ". Not even in a function, but manually implemented whenever the person writing that burning dumpsterfire thought it was a good idea to check for that.

Code also didn't report, it just exited without error code. Users would just get a white screen if that spaghetti code "security" system got tripped.

!rant, but a feature request.

@dfox, whenever I use the comment box, it covers the whole screen. So, if I wanna tag somebody in my comment, I gotta close the comment box once, memorize their username since there's no autocomplete on @'s and then type back.

Either the comment box could be shortened, or autocomplete be added to user tag function, which could atleast detect the users commenting on the current thread (since programmers suck at memorising).

What say, DevRanters?

JS' array function forEach. Why. Why does it exist? How is a function with a callback better than a freaking simple language feature like for of? If I recall correctly, forEach is older than for of, but people still use it nowadays, and too frequently...
Hate it, definitely.
Also, talking about enumeration in JS, Object's "static" method entries. I can't see how it can't be an instance method. Same for keys and values, but I usually don't care about them.

I hate the feature of c# that a member variable can be used as an function!

Let me get this variable. why does my cpu spike?
Because it calls 10 other functions to fill this float when needed.

float progress{
get { return DoWorkInDifferentFunctions(); }
}

Use this instead:

float CalculateProgress(){
return DoWorkInDifferentFunctions();
}

because people will use this like:

if(progress > 10.0f && progress < 25.0f){
DoStuff(progress);
}

Instead of:
float CurrentProgress = CalculateProgress();
if(CurrentProgress > 10.0f && CurrentProgress < 25%){
DoStuff(CurrentProgress );
}

@#$%&*$#^&*!!

I just can't get my head around it. How could a "language" like cmake become so widely used and popular? Let alone be the horrible syntax or the documentation which is an insult to anyone who is trying to read it.

I mean seriously??: " function_xyz( PARAM1 PARAM2 PARAM3) : for this use case A pass the keyword A and the words X Y Z, for use case B pass the keyword B and the words A B C you can also add the keyword D simply to increase the number of possible behaviours this stupid function can have."

But yeah i get it, it's free its cross platform and so on.

But how can after version 10000000.1, after adding dozens of "macros or functions" the most simplest and straight forward use case without any fucking thirdparties be so fucking difficult to implement.

And why are there for any use case 50 different ways of doing it? instead of one simple way?

Really, I just don't get it.

C/C++ is so fucking unreadable. Who had the cancer idea to use abbreviations for EVERYTHING?? If a word is longer than 3 chars you can be sure those psychologically unstable devs will use a shortcut.
Pointer ==> ptr
test_and_set ==> fucking t_a_s
rollback ==> rb
I don't want to play a shitty word guessing game for every fucking function in your horribly documented api.

Things I learned in this 2 month training in an IT company ;
- the way @marcerisson wanted me and my group project team to use Git (and kept yelling at us about ) is actually the proper, professional way of using Git
- there is a difference between an MVC model and a fucking pack of overcomplicated spaghetti code
- commenting your code and naming your variables properly IS IMPORTANT especially when another dev might read it 15 years later (i see you Mr I Name All my Variables With the Name Of the Function and A Number)
- « if it worls it ain’t stupid » also apply in a professional area
- where ´s my fucking rubber duck

I get the opportunity to talk with a pro today:

"Pro": hey do you know how to use tool X?

Me: well I've used it sometimes for simple stuff but I've always wanted to learn more advanced stuff.

"Pro": let me show you
*repeats the basics that are available in every single online tutorial and are tbh pretty obvious*

Me: yeah I know that but how do you use function A with option B under circumstance C? (Because I've encountered that recently)

"Pro": Oh... emm... I don't know. I don't think you'll ever need that use case tho

Fucking egos. Why is it so difficult to communicate with some senior?
Senior: we need to support old browsers.
Me: What about using polyfills.ts?
Senior: that's not what I am asking for. what's wrong with my implementation?
Me: check whether a global function exists at one place does not solve the issue. What if people use global function somewhere else
Senior: is the pr breaking some features for old browser...

Fucking hell

Other peoples' code... (in C++)
I am finding what some people consider good code is not as described. I found a class that provides strings. Great it gives me paths and stuff. I incorporated it in a new project.

segfaults

Hmmm, it must have an init function... It does, but not in the class. It has a friended init function:
friend init_function(). If this function is not created and called external to the class then the class will segfault...

okay...

I implement this. I use code from another project that implements this correctly. The friend class allows the private constructor to be called to create the main instance of the class. So its a fucking cryptic ass singleton. I look at this class. It uses a macro to decide what to function call in the class. The class already has function names for each call it needs to make. The class is literally a string lookup table. I vow to redo this shitty code, someday...

I start to wonder what other fragile code I will find. Not long later I keep getting errors on malloc. Like any malloc that is called results in a segfault. The malloc is not at fault though. I run valgrind and find a websocket library is returning an object a different size than the header file describes.

WTF...

Somebody has left an old ass highly modified definition of the websocket header in a location in that I include headers (partly my fault). I eliminate that from my include path. All is well, everything behaves. I will be making sure this fucking header is not used and it is going to die. Wasted a bunch of time.

Lessons learned: some code is just fucked and don't leave old ass shit you tried laying around.

What's the strangest Assembler or Pseudo-Assembler you've ever encountered?

I wrote a Z-machine (Infocom's virtual text adventure interpreter) and it was quite an interesting interpretation of bytes:
- The first 3 bits of an instruction tell you the opcode category, the rest are the instruction
- The 2nd (and maybe 3rd) byte tell you in 2-Bit chunks the operand types.
- text is encoded in 5-Bit chunks, with special characters for CapsLock that double function as padding (if your text doesn't align with the 3 letters per 2 bytes).
- and of course there are 5 different versions that all work slightly differently (as in CapsLock becomes Shift or "this special character isn't in use anymore")

So I want to inform my internet provider of my new phone number, but I can't remember any of my login info for their web interface because I never used it. Luckily, they have a "forgot my username" function, where I submit my email address and get a confirmation that my username has been sent to me.

Yet, I just don't get said email. I try again, but no avail. So I just guess my username and use their "forgot password" form, which – hooray! – confirms it just sent my an email.

But I don't get any email. I retry, I retry after a day, but no automatic response. I remember a incident a few years back when I didn't get some automatically generated mails from a company and decide to contact their support if they could just reset my password manually.

Nearly a week passes.

Now I received the answer. I just don't have an account.

Lesson learned: Next time I'll just input garbage first to check if those forms are sane.

I see people posting pictures of computers (ATMs, ad screens, digital signs, instruments, etc) failing and instead showing some Windows function, update, or the desktop. Makes me wonder: WHY would you use Windows this way? Think of how many product keys you'll have to buy and how many systems you'll need maintain to show a stupid sign? There's GOT to be a cheaper way of doing things like this.

I was trying to build a simple 2D (drag the fish to eat other fish) game in JavaScript, cause why not there are already many libraries i will certainly find one for my use.

I'm already familiar with p5.js thanks to Daniel Shiffman and his coding train sessions.

I thought to build the game with p5.js with the play and 2Dcollide libraries, but it turns out they don't have a custom irregular sprite collision detection neither the other thousands libraries which are rotting on github.

Guess, I need to build somethig own my own.

And I also hate it, cause I have to design those fishes, the main game logic, this collision detection function and levels

I need a coffee with a coding partner

"Dear" tech lead... Editing Cloud Function with GCP's online IDE is not equivalent to versioning your code. Use a proper VCS dammit. It's fucking sprint 3 already... Ugh

if the documentation of a class just has a table of function params and return types without any example snippets of how to use them, fuck you and your entire stack and your entire docs.

How my day started yesterday.

Luckily It fixed itself, but i was starting my day thinking I should just rewrite a function that wasn’t working so I could test some stuff but instead just decided to debug and thankfully I did that because the error was being caused by a lack of quotes and when I saw that I changed it.

It worked flawlessly and it’s my first project to use SQLite so I stood up and walked around because I was just so amazed because it was working how I planned and how I intended.

That feeling that you get from a project that works how you wanted it to is unbeatable

I don't like things like "programming is copy&paste"
But if you think about it... Actually it is: when you don't know how to use a function or how to write a new language you read the docs, copying and using what they say 🤔

Stack Overflow? It's a doc full of examples 😁

My god, I just had to use a very ugly hack involving HTML generation via string concatenation, passing a function as a parameter and closures.

Now I appreciate languages that achieve such things naturally even more.

Was trying to read the json data from a json file using python. But was stuck for a very long time as it was giving a json decide error. After much fuss I came to figure out that I forgot to use the read function to read the json data from the file :P

I can now appreciate some design decisions behind react-redux after witnessing some angular OOP clusterfuck.

I am sure there is some clean/correct way to code in angular, but everyone is treating angular as java.

Some angular application (the one I have to work with) is littered with network calls. It's difficult to spot duplicates. People usually resolve promises everywhere. In services, in a top-level component, or in for loops. In react, people use apollo/redux-query or redux-saga to handle network calls. Since these libraries prevent duplicate network calls internally and reassigning apollo network call function or redux action function is always useless, it's easy to spot all network calls in a component tree.

In angular, it's difficult to trace data mutations when data can be updated everywhere. In react, you can easily find UI state updates by tracing state hooks/dispatch/apollo usages.

In angular, it's difficult to trace data pipeline. Since everything is imperative by default, people need to add update functions in data subscriptions. With all the littered mutations. Soon you will lose track of what the fuck is going on.

I hope angular get the agonizing death it deserves and fuck everyone who codes JS OOP clusterfuck UI.

So I've a little freelance project, is basically a blog. I've decided to use microservices with angular in the front end and python in the backend.

I've been about 2 weeks copy pasting code in my api because all the modules are pretty simple CRUDs that do the same thing, there is not heavy business logic or anything, just database handling.

I was really tired of copy pasting modules and his test, only changing function names and parameters, today I've this "epifany" about the inheritance and thinked about using it in my service, creating a base class and making all the other classes children of him.

Before the change my project has 220 tests (100% coverage) now I have only 40 tests (the same 100% coverage)

So, the lesson is: don't start throwing code like an idiot and start your project with some good planning

Reading code takes time!

Everytime I read:
"var" or "auto" Add: 10s
- Just use the type

Everytime I read:
if(Expression1 && Expression() ? GetNumber() : 0 > 0) Add: 30s
- Just write two if statements or create two bools the line above.

Everytime I read:
delegate = () => {} Add another 5 minutes of reading time.
- Just write a separate function for it. It helps with searching and understand what it does

Please code like the person that needs to check your code or change it just knows basic coding skills and logics.

I do know all these concepts I just never use them because it makes the code unreadable. hard to follow, mistakes that can happen everywhere. difficult to search.

And it frustrates that I need to read 10 extra lines to understand code flow or hover my mouse in an IDE to figure out what type object it is.

It's properly just me... I just like clean readable code. that is logical and failsafe and strict and deterministic with its behavior

"In Python 3, exec is a function; its use has no effect on the compiled bytecode of the function where it is used."

Found in a stackoverflow post.

So wait, you mean to say, you could hide code in a pyc file or am I mistaken?

How is this not a security concern?

Another GeeksForGeeks rant

Wisecrack got me a bit interested in primes (just a passing interest). I looked up their python implementation of "Sieve of Atkin". Wow, is it bad.

First of all, they use PascalCase instead of underscore_natation so that's points off right there.

Their function takes a limit as a parameter (pretty obviously).

Their program breaks if you pass a prime number as a limit. That's right, if you give it a 2, it breaks. Pretty pathetic.

Reading the comments, their Java implementation is wrong too.

For fucks sake guys, if you're going to have an algorithm blog at least write good algorithms.

It is great feeling, to leave company and leave all your crap code to others :D

500 lines bash generic wrapper to curl (just to catch and print errors, not just silently fail as most devs tell curl to do).

It was monster that used "function overload" and "subclasses" (based on dynamic source files). Also dynamically created inline AWK script to parse curl output. It kinda worked, but amount of high-level hacks I had to use was enormous.

Never use Bash when you do not have to. Even if you have experience with it. Others don't have it and will fail miserably trying to patch your code. Just leave bash for fast bridging between programs, leave python/java/c#/go or any other proper OOP language for a job. Please ?

Seriously getty images, what is wrong with you. Usually it is bad enough that sign in forms say username or email and then only accept one of those two options. Getty images only allows for the username, so i enter that. Doesn't work. I use the forgot password function, have to enter username and email, doesn't work. Turns out the username is the email adress and what I entered was only the display name. Seriously, how stupid is that? What is the point of a username when you have a separate display name and just set it to the account email adress?

Me: There is a bug in the most recent "standard global software" release that causes data not to send properly to the device. There are 3 ways to send the same data to the device in the current release but they apparently don't do the same thing like they should. (Sent screenshots of the issue)

Standard Dev Support: "it's not a Bug it's a feature. So the development found out, that there are several problems with sending data to devices using "x" method. So they decided to stop "x" function in the latest release. Use "y" method instead."

Me: "X" and "y" methods are both still there. You didn't remove it in the latest release. So it is a fucking bug moron?!?

Wtf!!!!!

Why the fuck does microsoft feel the need to be different?

One small example is VBA (Visual Basic for Applications).

When calling a function iw does not allow you to use brackets.
Example: Funct (arg1, arg2) is not valid but Funct arg1, arg2 is.

If you want the damed brackets you'll have to use call.

Call Funct ( arg1, arg2)

because after the first function is called, functions within that as arguments need to have the brackets...

ATTENTION PLEASE! Important announcement following:

Please check your interface implementations for correct byteorder according specification BEFORE YOU START COMPLAINING ABOUT DATA FAILURES ON EXCHANGING DATA.

Freakin hell, if I'd get some money for every byte order mismatch on testing interfaces, I'd be a be a billionaire.

And why are all those highlevel I-know-every-fucking-framework developer incapable of checking the real memory content of a datatype, and the real data content on the interface even if you tell them that their byte order is obviously wrong?
No, your system is not the centre of the universe and I don't care how you get your less-than-32bit-datatypes-are-for-assembler-usage-frameworks to change byteorder. It's not rocket science, if there's no ready-to-use-function then write those 4 lines yourself.

Next time I get to specify an interface I'll go for mixed-endian, just to make sure everybody involved knows the concepts of endianess afterwards.