Details
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SkillsHTML5, CSS3, JavaScript/jQuery, Git
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LocationWesterly, RI
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Website
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Github
Joined devRant on 10/8/2016
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Q: Your data migration service from old site to new site cost money.
A: Yes, I have to copy data from old database and import to the new one.
Q: Can I just provide you content separately so you don’t need to do that?
A: Yes, but I will have to charge you for copying and pasting your 100 pages of content manually.
Q: Can it come with part of the web development service and not as an additional service?
A: Yes, but the price for web development service will have to be increased to combine the two. If you don’t want to pay for it, I can just set up a few sample pages with the layout and you can handle your own content entry. Does that work for you?
Q: Well, but then I will have to spend extra time to work on it.
A: Yes you will. (At this point I think she starts to understand the concept of Time = Money...)3 -
A wild Darwin Award nominee appears.
Background: Admins report that a legacy nightly update process isn't working. Ticket actually states problem is obviously in "the codes."
Scene: Meeting with about 20 people to triage the issue (blamestorming)
"Senior" Admin: "update process not working, the file is not present"
Moi: "which file?"
SAdmin: "file that is in ticket, EPN-1003"
Moi: "..." *grumbles, plans murder, opens ticket*
...
Moi: "The config dotfile is missing?"
SAdmin: "Yes, file no there. Can you fix?"
Moi: "Engineers don't have access to the production system. Please share your screen"
SAdmin: "ok"
*time passes, screen appears*
Moi: "ls the configuration dir"
SAdmin: *fails in bash* > ls
*computer prints*
> ls
_.legacyjobrc
Moi: *sees issues, blood pressure rises* "Please run list all long"
SAdmin: *fails in bash, again* > ls ?
Moi: *shakes* "ls -la"
SAdmin: *shonorable mention* > ls -la
*computer prints*
> ls -la
total 1300
drwxrwxrwx- 18 SAdmin {Today} -- _.legacyjobrc
Moi: "Why did you rename the config file?"
SAdmin: "Nothing changed"
Moi: "... are you sure?"
SAdmin: "No, changed nothing."
Moi: "Is the job running as your account for some reason?"
SAdmin: "No, job is root"
Moi: *shares screenshot of previous ls* This suggests your account was likely used to rename the dotfile, did you share your account with anyone?
SAdmin: "No, I rename file because could not see"
Moi: *heavy seething* so, just to make sure I understand, you renamed a dotfile because you couldn't see it in the terminal with ls?
SAdmin: "No, I rename file because it was not visible, now is visible"
Moi: "and then you filed a ticket because the application stopped working after you renamed the configuration file? You didn't think there might be a correlation between those two things?"
SAdmin: "yes, it no work"
Interjecting Director: "How did no one catch this? Why were there no checks, and why is there no user interface to configure this application? When I was writing applications I cared about quality"
Moi: *heavy seething*
IDjit: "Well? Anyone? How are we going to fix this"
Moi: "The administrative team will need to rename the file back to its original name"
IDjit: "can't the engineering team do this?!"
Moi: "We could, but it's corporate policy that we have no access to those environments"
IDjit: "Ok, what caused this issue in the first place? How did it get this way?!"
TFW you think you've hit the bottom of idiocy barrel, and the director says, "hold my mango lassi."27 -
Not my mom, but my girlfriends grandmother. I told her that I am a software developer, a guy who makes the programs which run on computers.
She became really excited about that, because finally she found someone to repair her 40-year-old radio. I told her that I have no fucking idea about radios, but she did not want to hear that. So I looked at the case, randomly pushed some buttons and again told her, that I could not find the broken part, let alone repair it. But she didn't listen and told me to open the case and look inside.
Sighingly I opened the radio, looked at the inner parts and told her once more, that I don't know anything about this stuff. She told me to look more closely. About to lose my mind about this pointless task, I finally told her, that "the transistor" is the problem and that the best thing she could do is to throw it away and buy a new radio. She was happy with that answer.15 -
Great background music, pretty much a pinned tab of mine now: https://generative.fm/
"Endlessly unique ambient music"
"The pieces featured on this site are not recordings. The music is generated by a different system created for each piece. These systems have been designed such that each performance is unique and plays continuously without repetition."2 -
When the new guy on the team uses click bait titles on his PRs... that’s when you realise this guys going to go far.12
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* The app is almost ready, boss asked me to show the progress.
Boss: The design is bad, I don't like it 🤔
Me: I just implemented the design, which is approved
Boss: Really? because I "feel" that the design is bad on the screen.
Me: Okay 😐, can you tell me what exactly the part to change?
Boss: I don't know, *calls the designer
Designer: *showing his PSDs* yes it is the same, and you [the boss] approved it.
Boss: Ok make some changes to make it feel better.
Me: (Inside: 😡 ) ok, have you some suggestions?
Boss: dunno,
Me: at least tell me what is wrong with it
Boss: dunno
Me:🤢26 -
In case you thought Google didn't know what you spend your money on.
https://myaccount.google.com/purcha...7 -
I took a programming class this semester in which a have to write code on paper, and the more I write, the more I agree. I give you my word-
I will ***never--- ever--- write code on paper again***14 -
Me: *Applies for entry level full-stack job*
Recruiter: "Sorry, I can't hire you because you don't have the years of experience we're looking for. We can take you on as an intern! Unpaid of course, while we train you."🙂
Clueless Me: "Sure, why not."
*second day into the internship*
Boss: "I have this really big project, and I want you to be the lead. I'm going to be very vague about what I want, so you'll constantly have to make changes to user stories, wireframes, & database designs until I'm satisfied. Don't ask me any questions for clarity, because I'm busy 🙂"
Silly Me: "okay"
Boss: "Also, can you train all the other interns? You're so lucky! You'll get to pick the best to join your team" 🙂
Stupid Me: "okay"
Boss: *emails me a spreadsheet of 80 Front-End interns (freshmen and sophomores)*
"Did you start building the app yet?" 🙂
Me (Dummy): "You haven't approved the final wireframes ye-"
Boss: "And for the other interns' training, what did you have in mind?" 🙂
Me (Dumbass): "I made a training guide, they're already followi-"
Boss: "My project manager for this other project left, guess he couldn't handle the pressure of a real job... HAHAHAHA! You're gonna take the lead of that project, too!"
*Adds me to the slack group* 😁
Me (Imbecile): "Wha-"
Boss: "And we've been having trouble with keeping track of everyone's code. Is there something we can do instead of slacking code snippets back and forth?" 🤔😮
Me (Fucking Imbecile): "Wait, you guys are working on a project and you don't have any form of version control? Maybe we should take a few steps back and plan thi-"
Boss: "Are you gonna take initiative or not!?" 😡
Me (Enlightened): "I quit." 😑
Former Boss: "Too bad... I was going to offer you a paid role tomorrow morning. Oh well!" 😔39