Found on 2019's Stack Overflow Annual Developer Survey

"Let's go for the low hanging fruit first" 🤢

"I think we should do some market research" 🤢

"Yeah that is also on my radar" 🤢

OKAY YOU FUCKING CUNT, STOP WITH YOUR PATRONIZING SHIT.

FIRST OF ALL, ARE YOU REALLY SO SMALL MINDED THAT YOU CAN'T REACH ANY HIGHER? THIS TREE IS FUCKING RAW AMD BARE ON THE BOTTOM, WITH YOUR FILTHY CLAWS GRASPING FOR ALL THOSE EASY NARROW FIXES.

SECONDLY, A FUCKING EMAIL SURVEY WITH BIASED QUESTIONS ANSWERED BY 3 HOBOS IS NOT BLOODY MARKET RESEARCH.

THIRDLY, IF THIS NUCLEAR ICBM OF AN INFRASTRUCTURE PROBLEM IS ON YOUR RADAR, MAYBE STOP FONDLING YOUR SWEATY BALLS FOR A MINUTE AND TAKE ACTION.

"Okay lets peel this onion, so we hit the ground running" 😩🤢😞

NO, LET'S NOT "HIT THE GROUND RUNNING", YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING TRIP AND MESS UP YOUR FACE EVEN MORE. HOW ABOUT GET YOUR PILE OF SHIT IN ORDER FOR ONCE, PREPARE FOR A MEETING? HOW ABOUT THOUGHTFUL ACTION, SOME FEATURE DESIGN?

"No, just implement it quick and dirty" 🤢😡👿

OH YOU WANT IT QUICK AND DIRTY? IS THAT HOW YOU FUCK YOUR DAD AS WELL?

"Let's evaluate the fix in a few weeks. We really had good synergy here team" 🤢😫

YEAH SURE, LET'S EVALUATE THIS.... BUT LET'S EVALUATE IT RIGHT NOW: 😡

"Ahem....

1. You're always late for meetings.
2. After 6 months, you still barely know what we do as a company, you still don't know the teams, and you still don't know the product.
3. You do not listen to engineers flooding you with red flags, requiring time for a redesign to fix serious scaling issues.
4. Everything must be a quickfix, nothing is allowed to require thought, because you CAN ABSOLUTELY NOT think ahead for more than 30 seconds.

OH AND IF YOU EVER AGAIN COVER UP ONE OF YOUR MANY SHORTCOMINGS WITH THAT FUCKING SLIMEY DOUCHEBAG MANAGER VOCABULARY OF YOURS, LET'S SEE HOW MUCH SYNERGY YOU FEEL WHEN YOU'RE DEEPTHROATHING A CACTUS."

This survey reveals the truth 🤣

Survey: Would you sign in to this website?

!Rant
Okay, hello alien from outer space!

*clicks download on VS for Mac*
Would you like to take a survey about your experience?

Sure Microsoft, I just downloaded the product, and have not even installed it, would you like me to judge it based on Windows 10?

Award for best survey 2019 goes to...

'help us to improve our service by making this idiotic survey which will be analyzed by our brainless monkeys'

What about fuck a toaster?

Nice learning experience from Spotify. If a survey response might contain negative feedback, just don't allow it to submit.

Clever Spotify ;)

After creating a 19 page survey in 1 day deadline client says this to me:

"We have a small change in the website. We don't like the page 8 anymore. Could you please remove that and rearrange the pages after that?"

😃
😃
😃
🙂🔫

Hello fellow DevRanters!

Recently I have put together a UX survey about DevRant! Us!

If anyone is interested in filling it out, I'd greatly appreciate it.

The more responses the better! If you have a friend or know anyone who is interested in filling it out then sharing is caring! If not, a ++ wouldn't hurt to spread the word :)

If you have any questions, feel free to comment down below.

Why?
I am required to do a UX report of an app of my choice for my University assignment - I thought, why not?

Anyone else sick of all the whining about college on here? It’s a CS degree. They are going to teach you science. Not to mention that Stack Overflow did a survey in 2015 and found that nearly half the developers didn’t have degrees. If you’re so much smarter than your professors then you should have no problem finding a job. Of course, if you’re lucky enough to not have to pay for school; you should just be thankful that you’re a step up in going for management positions and shut up. On the other hand, if you’re paying (going into debt) for school; then maybe you should take a step off the safe and well-trodden path and put a little faith in yourself. There is an abundance of free training online. I thought devs were supposed to be free-spirited rebels. Didn’t any of you see ‘Hackers’?

Finally!!!
Became a devRant supporter...
The dark side feeels gooooood...

Tbh it's only for 1 month because I spent almost 4 months collecting money from Google survey program just to become devRant supporter. 😂😂😂
Okay, I know it feels cheap for not paying $2 directly but I am still a student who doesn't have a credit card.

Top 5 World’s Most Hated Programming Languages

1. Perl

2. Delphi

3. VBA

4. Objective-C

5. PHP

Which one do you hate most?

Yet another Hacktoberfe....
Uhhh well

Stickers!

From DigitalOcean

Received by completing a survey

Hypothetical survey:

Ctrl + s still saves your work but at the same time it pushes to production. How fucked are you?

!rant

SURVEY:
Are there any musicians in here?
What instruments do you play?

Dear devrant managers

You guys are going to make the survey data public one day?

Great survey!

We have to use this tool in work for classifying new and existing projects for GDPR. Long story short you have to fill out a REALLY long questionnaire, then it gets reviewed by someone in legal. The tool will also assign you tasks and suggest actions to common issues (e.g. suggesting a banner to explain cookie policy if you tick a certain box).

I have spent about an hour trying to re-assign the assessment I started, as i'm due to leave the company in a few days, to the guy taking over from me.

1. There is a “generate shareable URL” button, with the ability to click a button that says “replace me with the logged in user who opens this”. All it does is duplicate the name and description fields and send a new copy to that person, with no access to any of my other content or answers.

2. I did find a re-assign button eventually, again all it does it create a duplicate, and throws and error saying names must be unique when I try to save it.

3. While I couldn’t find a way to do that, I did find another button to at least assign the reviewer. It told me i’m forbidden to change the reviewer on assessments i’ve created.

This is THE WORST piece of nonsensical shit on earth. The entire application is absolute garbage and sssssssooooooo slow.

When you first create an assessment it brings you to a page that has all the questions, makes sense right? Wrong. All the questions are in read-only mode, and they are simply there as a "this is what you can expect to see later on", telling you whether or not they will be freeform, multiple choice etc.

The way to actually answer the questions is to click the "start survey" button hidden in the "status" dropdown.

I don't have much advice to anyone around GDPR, but please stay the hell away from TrustArc.

Windows or Mac? Neither?

Lots of fun open source stuff, but I had a lot of fun working on a survey taking m&m dispenser. The goal was to encourage students to answer survey questions that would help the faculty get a better idea of what the students found most valuable (different things they wanted to learn, classes they found useless, etc.). So me and another student built this :) Its a node server running on an Intel Galileo, which served up an admin and survey interface using React. When a student answered a survey question, a servo would turn a gear, which interfaced with a rack and pinion that had two little pits in it. When it would slide under the jar, two m&ms would fill the pits, then the rack and pinion would push them out. Then we had a webcam hooked up to the end of it that would compare the colors of the m&ms to see if they were the same. If they were the same, the student would get more m&ms. The gear pieces were 3D printed.

We could never get the webcam stuff to work right with the Galileo because OpenCV (the computer vision library we were using to interact with the webcam) could not be built/compiled on such a specific version of Linux. Later, I was able to do it with a RaspberryPi, but never got it reintegrated.

Which type of dev are you?

1. I exercise/ workout regularly :)
2. I want to. But I ain't got no time for that :|
3. I don't believe in that shit :(

PS: I see some sw engineers in my gym.

A survey by freeCodeCamp showed the following result.
No wonder many are single. :D
What about you people from devRant? Are you single?

@dfox Are you guys going to share the survey results with us?

Before implementing a feature that is one hour of work for one developer, let's have four meetings about it, a user survey, specifications and endless discussions on resources.

The x-axis' scale for India made me feel sad, but then I compared the cost of living in India vs that in the other countries mentioned here, and then I was back to being happy (not sad).

1990 people - There will be flying cars in near future and internet will be a hub for information sharing.
2018- Pornhub Survey

So I finally got my senior project approved by my school's assistant principal (the one who deals with every student's project) and he said that the three forms of evidence I suggested were not enough. A quick summary of my project: I'm supposed to make a game engine in Java before April of 2017. Every student needs 3 forms of evidence that they did the project so I suggested screenshots of my work, the finished source code, and pictures of me actually working on it. In addition to all of that I would have a ton of documentation and sample projects to test different features of the engine. Well, he doesn't really understand that for a high school student, that's already enough work for a couple of years and thinks I need more evidence. So what does he do?

He requires me to find at least 5 people to test the engine and complete a survey about it. This normally wouldn't be a problem, except I'm a high school student and don't know more than 2 people who are fluent enough in Java to work on a game. And, I have to finish the project before January now to give the people enough time to work with it.

Long story short, I'm not even out of high school and I'm already experiencing the struggles of dealing with non-technical people.

Didn't got the job after a month and 4 rounds of interviews. They then asked me to fill out a survey about my experience. What do you think about my experience you fucks? It was amazing wastkng my time with you...

My company sends out this Culture Assessment survey so employees "voices can be heard".
"Completely confidential."
I keep reading the email:
"Please *do not* forward this email to other individuals. The survey link is unique to your Business Group, project, and certain demographics, and therefore should be completed with only your responses."

....*face palm*

Just had to renew my driving licence online. After completing the renewal I get the obligatory "how did we do" questionnaire. Last question:

"How likely are you to use the website again?"

Well pretty likely as it is the only fucking way to renew the licence, but at least not for another 10 years 🙄

Zip file back-ups for version control ??? And, more people do that over Mercurial ???

Taking my first ever survey because oh well ,it's home, it's devrant ..
<3

So I have been a fly on the "wall" for last couple of months and never signed up, but now here I am!

Rant is about a serious topic - gender gap in tech industry!!
Couple of months ago Stackoverflow announced developer survey results! I was shocked by demographics results! It was disappointing to see biggest gender gap in general tech industry!
I believe tech industry can be the first one to have equal pay for women!

However.... (bad part)
I was going through my twitter feeds and saw this! Many of you have seen this tweet too.

(ohh!fuck I cant attach multiple images here, I should have created Medium post, fuck it!)

"They" continue, quoting from the tweet.
1)"....bias in society is reflected in AI"
2) "However, I do think it is our responsibility as designers/developers/users to be aware of this bias and do our best to correct it."

I want to rant about 2nd one. Some of you may not like it including grammar naziz!
As a developer/programmer I take 2nd one personally! I am currently at denial phase though!
And I have an OCD so gonna make points here!

1) Seriously tell me please, how the fuck you can write gender bias algorithm which can pass a big crazy amount of test suite?

2) Google has done many things for last decade to overcome gender gap related issues. I have met some of the nicest people from Google, and this is really hard for me to believe that google AI or that team has anything to do with the results!

3) Someone suggests use "they" in google translated result, can you fucking imagine how wrong that would be??? If I am developer working on that algo or even in that team and I see this ticket in jira with highest priority where it says, "make all translated results gender neutral using only they" - I would fucking like to die and may be in my next life ask me to do that, when I am a toddler!

4) I am an advocate for equal pay, equal rights and equal opportunities for everyone to "minify" this gender gap in tech, but showing google translate results of a gender natural language to make a point is wrong, it is simply undermining the efforts of something really helpful thing.

5) Moving on to the core point - What can be done to lower down the gender gap? I have seen amazing women who can code/manage far far far better than what I ever could imagine, and they are at really good place and deserve to be there. Are they doing enough to inspire other women to join tech industry?
Collective efforts are very much required. And need to keep in consideration that tech industry is highly competitive roles are also changing rapidly.

6) Many big companies have women at higher positions(CEO, CFO,....) what are their efforts to bring more women in tech industry?
(Some of you may not like this, as this is implying that it isn't only men's job. )

7) Going slightly political here, everyday we see really disappointing news related to women and their rights and health, I strongly believe women don't have to ask for or even have to mention about "equal rights" about anything. Everyone is equal!!!
This is 2017 and still fucked up!

Thats all for today! Heading for breakfast!

I've been eyeing Rust for quite a while and it definitely caught my curiosity, specially after the SO survey. Now I want to learn Rust but I normally need to work on a project in order to actually learn and keep myself motivated, yet I have no idea what to start, any ideas?

I'm a Comp Sci Professor on the side. Student complaint on class survey: "Tests are too hard, he expects you to know the language."

Where my female developers at? :D
Have only seen dudes (as far as I can tell from the avatars) since I started.
Also curious to know what you studied/are studying/planning to study at school. I'm a sophomore bioengineering major, started coding as a hobby since 5th grade!

Our company wants us to fill out monthly surveys to tell managers how happy we our at work and to give them feedback. The survey will not be anonymous as they asked us to self identify.

Also the company is small (just over 100 people) and over 1/3rd of staff have been fired over the past year.

Yeahhhhh, how about no

I got an email from a seemingly random gmail address with 'essential!' written in the title.

Turns out that this was my university trying to contact me. They expect me to send my full name, university and other personal information directly over a Google survey in an email from an address I don't recognise with an unprofessional subject.

Safe to say, I didn't fill that one in.

I love coffee, so I'd take coffee over pasta any day..

Even this Google Survey knows the pecking order for voice assistants 🤣 Cortona gets a dedicated line while Bixby gets the "Other" line.

I have a feature suggestion for devrant: some kind of polling system.
This idea came into my mind with the survey a few days ago.
Since almost all of us are devs, aspiring or experienced, we can expect (somewhat) professional opinions, e.g. on how to tackle a specific problem.
Maybe it's even possible to make this a paid service somehow. I thought about this:

Open a poll for all registered users: $0
Add requirements for a user to have to be able to vote on the poll: +0.99$ each:
- has ranted at least X times
- has at least X ++s
- has a StackOverflow account connected
...

This way, the OP can narrow down the target audience to a specific group.

Maybe...? I don't know if something like this already exists somewhere else.

My fav music while coding: metal. Wich is urs? Lel

Dear senior colleague, not showing up to the meeting I scheduled with you for the second time in a row without any notice on your part (before or after) is NOT OKAY. Especially since it is about including junior devs more in the processes you're majorly involved in. In the last employee satisfaction survey I told the company that I don't feel appreciated. You asked why. Well, dear company: For example: THIS.
PS: I asked him to reschedule for when it's suitable for him. He said he would. Guess what? Didn't happen yet?

Quick survey: What do y'all like being referred to as? (Engineer, programmer, developer, etc.) I like developer but I find that people rarely get what that means

You could win free Premium!
But you can't even complete the survey.
Well played! Spotify!

Every time when you're facing depression, and doubt yourself. Just think about there are companies much bigger than yours, and they struggling to put a form together... 🤦‍♂️

Out of curiosity: how likely is your company to hire someone without a college degree?

Follow up, do you think not having a college degree would affect advancement down the road if a person does get hired in the first place?

If you have an employee engagement survey that reveals that employees are not happy, don't dismiss and mock the employees when presenting the results.

It might very well be that it actually does not improve the situation.

Yesterday I made a survey from MDN. Then I came to this question. Who made this survey, this is just... no!

!rant Survey
Which text editor do you guys use(web development)
* Atom
* Sublime
* Brackets
* Vim
* Others(Mention)

TLDR;
How much do you earn for your skill set in your country vs your cost of living?
BONUS;
See how much I & others earn.

Recently I became aware of just how massive the gap in developers earnings are between countries. I'd love to calculate a fixed score for income vs cost of living.

I know this stuff is sensitive to some so if you prefer just post your score (avg income p/m after tax / cost of living).

I'm not shy so I'll go first:

MY RATES
Normal Rate (Long term): $23
Consulting / Short term: $30-$74
Pen Test: $1500 once off.
Pen Test Fixes: consulting rate.
Simple work/websites: min $400+
Family & Friends: Dev friends are usually free (when mutually beneficial). Family and others can fuck off, even if they can pay (I pass their info to dev friends with fair warning).

GENERAL INFO
Experience: 9 years
Country: South Africa
Developer rareness in country: Very Rare (+-90 job openings per job seeker).
Middle class wage in country: $1550 p/m (can afford a new car, decent apartment & some luxuries like beer/eating out).
Employment type: Permanent though I can and do freelance occasionally.
Client Locality: Mostly local.
Developer Type: Web Developer (True web dev - I do anything web related from custom HTTP servers to sockets, services, advanced browser api's, apps & more).

STACKS / SKILLSETS

I'M PROFICIENT IN:
python, JavaScript, ASP classic, bash, php, html, css, sql, msql, elastic search, REST, SOAP, DOM, IIS, apache

I DABBLE WITH:
ASP.net, C++, ruby, GO, nginx, tesseract

MY SPECIALTIES:
application architecture, automation, integrations, db's, real time data, advanced browser apps/extensions (webRTC, canvas etc).

SUMMARY
Avg income p/m after tax: $2250
Cost of living (car+rent+food): $1200
Score: 1.85

*Note: For integrity when calculating my cost of living I excluded debt repayments and only kept my necessities which are transport, food & shelter.

I really hope you guy's post your results, it would be great to get an idea of which is really the worst / best country to be a developer in.

[Public Survey?]
I'm in a stressfull situation.
In 2 years, I will hopefully attend a university of applied science.
I have two ways to go.
I can still go on with Computer Science and up with a Bachelor.
Or I will attend a university where I will get my Bachelor in Aerospace Engineering.

I know that this place isn't really a place to discuss this sort of topic. But Idk how else I should solve it. I can not get rid of this decision. Even tho it's a personal decision, I also want to hear your opinions.

Made 15€ from Google survey app what should I spend it for?

So this happened a few days ago.

Me: (chilling like a mo'fucka then suddenly an email alert)

*Opens email and realises it's from a recruiter*

Recruiter: We are a venture-based startup out of LA, funded by a top VC. We have developed the first turnkey Serverless Swift platform for app development.

We are looking at expanding our team and we have a few different openings for remote and contract work.

Simply reply to this email with your resume attached.

Me: Thanks for reaching out and presenting me with this opportunity.

I plan on going back to school this January and for that reason I humbly have to bow out.

I will surely keep an eye out for {company_name}. The idea is rather interesting I should say.

*I go back to chilling like a mo'fucka*

*The next day I'm at work, I get an email from the same recruiter again*

Recruiter: Thank you for submitting your resume.

We are expanding our team and are looking for Swift rockstars to join the movement of bringing server-side Swift to the masses.

We were impressed by your resume and wanted to get to know you better. This survey is the first step in that process.

Please take a moment and complete. It should not take longer than 10 minutes.

Me: ...........................
*Calmly walks away from my desk to the bathroom*

WHAT FUCKING RESUME HAVE I SUBMITTED TO YOU? BITCH, MY EMAIL EXPLICITLY SAID: THANKS BUT NO THANKS...

You can't just force an applicant

!rant

Just an observation.
According to Stackoverflow's survey, it suggests that developers with more experience are less competitive. I still can't understand this. How can developers loose their interest over time?

So I landed a senior linux admin job in August, moved to a new city, and signed a 2 year contract for them to pay my moving expenses. I took an employee survey in October, not knowing anything. As a department (all ops and devs), we reviewed the results as a whole with HR.

Now HR is coming to our remote office tomorrow (4 hours away).... to be continued...

Fuck yes, AWS is offering 25 bucks in credit for completing their cloud9 survey. This is how you distribute a survey!

Please post a picture of your Dev/Gaming setups, really intested to know what setups most devs have, e.g laptop or desktop?

!dev

What's the difference between the middle two options? Surely 'a few weeks' is about as long as or longer than a month?

Oh god where do I start!?

In my current role I've had horrific experiences with management and higher ups.

The first time I knew it would be a problem: I was on a Java project that was due to go live within the month. The devs and PM on the project were all due to move on at the end. I was sitting next to the PM, and overheard him saying "we'll implement [important key feature] in hypercare"... I blew my top at him, then had my managers come and see if I was OK.

That particular project overran with me and the permanent devs having to implement the core features of the app for 6mo after everyone else had left.

I've had to be the bearer of bad news a lot.

I work now and then with the CTO, my worst with her:
We had implemented a prototype for the CEO of a sister company, he was chuffed with it. She said something like "why is it not on brand" - there was no brand, so I winged it and used a common design pattern that the CEO had suggested he would like with the sister company's colours and logo. The CTO said something like "the problem is we have wilful amateurs designing..." wilful amateurs. Having worked in web design since I was 12 I'm better than a wilful amateur, that one cut deep.

I've had loads with PMs recently, they basically go:

PM: we need this obscure set up.
Me & team: why not use common sense set up.
PM: I don't care, just do obscure set up.

The most recent was they wanted £250k infrastructure for something that was being done on an AWS TC2.small.

Also recently, and in another direction:

PM: we want this mobile app deploying to our internal MDM.
Us: we don't know what the hell it is, what is it!?
PM: it's [megacorp]'s survey filler app that adds survey results into their core cloud platform
Us: fair enough, we don't like writing form fillers, let us have a look at it.

*queue MITM plain text login, private company data being stored in plain text at /sdcard/ on android.

Us: really sorry guys, this is in no way secure.
Pm: *in a huff now because I took a dump on his doorstep*

I'll think of more when I can.

This is a general question to freelancers or devs who works on only projects, is this worth only £100 pounds:

A survey website with 19 pages. Questions changes based on previous answers. Must have drag and drop, mix and match functionality. It must be mobile friendly as well.

And we have to parse the data we get from survey to a nicely rendered webpage so the client can see it.

The deadline is 2 days

I was on glassdoor today, and a survey came up. The survey looks like market research for a product that sounds like it will be exactly like one of my side projects... Deciding if it's worth scrambling to beat them to market with what's barely a MVP and no marketing resources, or just chalking it up as fun and good experience.

Packt.com (dev education books) is doing a survey of their readers. I don't fit into any of their boxes, closest one is data scientist.

I think I might really be a mathematician rather than a dev...

I hated maths at high-school.

When is your birthday?

Comment down,let's see if the birthday paradox is true!!!

Mine is 18 April🙄🙄😀😁

3d printer
I only assembled it from prusa parts but still it was lots of fun, learned a lot about how 3d printers work.

Then it was printing trex using 3d printer and it was funny to because it took me about a month to do so just because of amount of parts and the problem with parts that were broken and needed to be fixed.

From software projects, once I build a browser plugin in 2-3 hours cause I was pissed off with those shitty popups all around. I published it on browser store, made code opensource and forgot about it.

Recently I got some survey from a german university about it and I was like wtf ?
I looked at a statistics and my plugin had about 500 daily users and I was amused because the ui is shitty as fuck and the ux is even more shitty.

I plan to update this plugin but since I am focused on a bigger personal project for almost half a year now I have no time to do it.

Cheers

How can I explain to an not IT person, that cloning mouse and keystrokes to 30Computers dosnt influence the main algorithm in any way?

//Background
Testing some kind of Survey with 30Clients by klicking the forms and doing some inputs... Basically 30Times the same layout with many radios and buttons (time effort ~10min each + 20Min fixed time) so like hell too long so to minify just let one PC clone the keystrokes to all other
~30Min and done...

So I know if all worked fine

Also the algorithm(selecting some of the best and some of the worst clients by there score) should work also in that pessimistic case if all entered the same values

me: When will you change this job ?
co-worker: Not now. Want to stay here for a while.

Just seen stackoverflow developer survey results

With just 5.8 percent women on SO, I wonder what the gender ratio in here, so my own survey - ++ if a guy, comment if a girl ;)

Dear whoever decides how websites of various medium-big sized corps work:

I came to your goddamn website to find information. Not to fill out a stupid survey. And, if you had taken the trouble to track me with nasty little cookies, you would have seen that I've never visited your site before, so how the heck could I have any feedback whatsoever to give you?

If I wanted to take surveys, I would have registered an account with Yougov and spend the whole bloody day telling them how many tooth paste ads I've read in the last decade.

I'm not good in doing presentations and I'm not sure if it is a common style or technique that to engage your audience, you need to ask a show of hands if they know about something..

I attended a "meeting/workshop" and the presenter just kept on asking who among us knows blah, have read blah, have seen blah, who doesn't know blah blah blah.

Why ask us to raise our hands? Are u conducting a survey? For those who raised their hands did u feel a sense of belongingness? For that one guy who raised his hand he was bullied.

I don't understand why ask ppl to raise their hands? For what?

If u want to share info then just deliver the message. Full stop. Don't make it embarrassing for the rest of us.

!rant && survey

Which tech city do you hail from?

Primarily the city where you had your first job in the industry. Your engineering birthplace.

All bow before the mighty Silicon Valley!

Marketing team talked about doing a customer survey on digital advertising. On paper.

how many devs working in your company and (thats the actual question) how many leaders manages dev teams?

So... I might have to build a survey and analysis tool to be used online nation wide (the final client is the government).
The bad news, it's probably going live in a week.
Even though 90% I wrote and tested in the last 3 years (matrixes,formulas,dB, Interface elements ) from previous runs, I have to handle fronted, databases, math, testing and design.
Over a daily changing methodology and session workflow (by my direct client).
No sleep for the next few days 😭

In a startup WE: "I want to create airdrone who can detect agression and survey people by flying on the street. I'll call it Big Brother."
WTF dude ?!

My teacher's sent a survey to EVERYONE on my grade level with a hand typed link that also dosent work if you fix all the errors. Oh and they disabled comments so I can't even tell them what's wrong. My input is so important they made sure to have a non-existent link.

How many of you love c++ here and if yes then which part?
I love STL

If I'll ever start a business I have some gold rules for it:
- what you're doing (the difficulty of a project) decides your partial salary, and not the time you're working on it
- if you take a lot of time working on something that should have taken less, you'll be controlled by your supervisor BUT he/she must be gentle and friendly, he/she should be able to understand your problem. If there is something that really could have taken so much time, the partial salary will be higher, otherwise, you'll get a strike
- after some strike you'll be "reviewed", we must understand if you're joking or you really want this work.
- there must be a lot of free time, we don't like stress
- your supervisor (as written before) must be gentle and friendly. If these qualities aren't met we must find a new supervisor (of course there will be a survey)
- you should come to work with a smile, if an activity is too much stressful you should report it, and take a pause (here comes the free time)
- I don't care if you have a degree, what you CAN do is what I'm searching for.

I've been selected as an amazon echo tester for my country.

to agree fill this survey and you will receive a free Echo:
*fine*

do you have WiFi?
yes (you already know that i have a fire tv stick so you know even the password)

what mobile os do you have?
android (you already know also this i have the amazon app installed in it)

where do you live?
*my city* (you know that from ip address & shipping addresses)

imagine what them will now that i will introduces an open in mic in my room....

(i think that i will keep it behind firewall when i am not at home and when i dont want use it)

Huawei published an ad stating their Mate 20 Pro smartphone has been voted phone of the year 2018 in my country.

The only problem is the survey they refer to has been done by a completely unknown mobile news website. That site looks a lot like some DIY blog from 2010 (it even uses FB comments widget), and with 10 post per month it definitely doesn't get much traffic. Talk about integrity...

My answer to their survey -->

What, if anything, do you most _dislike_ about Firebase In-App Messaging?

Come on, have you sit a normal dev, completely new to this push notification thing and ask him to make run a simple app like the flutter firebase_messaging plugin example? For sure you did not oh dear brain dead moron that found his college degree in a Linux magazine 'Ruby special edition'.

Every-f**kin thing about that Firebase is loose end. I read all Medium articles, your utterly soporific documentation that never ends, I am actually running the flutter plugin example firebase_messaging. Nothing works or is referenced correctly: nothing. You really go blind eyes in life... you guys; right? Oh, there is a flimsy workaround in the 100th post under the Github issue number 10 thousand... lets close the crash report. If I did not change 50 meaningless lines in gradle-what-not files to make your brick-of-puke to work, I did not changed a single one.

I dream of you, looking at all those nonsense config files, with cross side eyes and some small but constant sweat, sweat that stinks piss btw, leaving your eyes because you see the end, the absolute total fuckup coming. The day where all that thick stinky shit will become beyond salvation; blurred by infinite uncontrolled and skewed complexity; your creation, your pathetic brain exposed for us all.

For sure I am not the first one to complain... your whole thing, from the first to last quark that constitute it, is irrelevant; a never ending pile of non sense. Someone with all the world contained sabotage determination would not have done lower. Thank you for making me loose hours down deep your shit show. So appreciated.

The setup is: servers, your crap-as-a-service and some mobile devices. For Christ sake, sending 100 bytes as a little [ beep beep + 'hello kitty' ] is not fucking rocket science. Yet you fuckin push it to be a grinding task ... for eternity!!!

You know what, you should invent and require another, new, useless key-value called 'Registration API Key Plugin ID Service' that we have to generate and sync on two machines, everyday, using something obscure shit like a 'Gradle terminal'. Maybe also you could deprecate another key, rename another one to make things worst and I propose to choose a new hash function that we have to compile ourselves. A good candidate would be a C buggy source code from some random Github hacker... who has injected some platform dependent SIMD code (he works on PowerPC and have not test on x64); you know, the guy you admire because he is so much more lowlife that you and has all the Pokemon on his desk. Well that guy just finished a really really rapid hash function... over GPU in a server less fashion... we have an API for it. Every new user will gain 3ms for every new key. WOW, Imagine the gain over millions of users!!! Push that in the official pipe fucktard!.. What are you waiting for? Wait, no, change the whole service name and infrastructure. Move everything to CLSG (cloud lambda service ... by Google); that is it, brilliant!

And Oh, yeah, to secure the whole void, bury the doc for the new hash under 3000 words, lost between v2, v1 and some other deprecated doc that also have 3000 and are still first result on Google. Finally I think about it, let go the doc, fuck it... a tutorial, for 'weak ass' right.
One last thing, rewrite all your tech in the latest new in house language, split everything in 'femto services' => ( one assembly operation by OS process ) and finally cramp all those in containers... Agile, for sure it has to be Agile. Users will really appreciate the improvements of your mandatory service.

Quick Survey:
- What's your job title?
- Since when are you at your current job?
- Are you satisfied with your current pay?
- How long ago was your last raise? (If any)

We're developers, we use our logic everywhere, we might be use our brains more than others, so I ask you:
Have you ever thought "I'm the smartest of my friends", if yes, what is or what do you think your IQ is?
(using the common deviation IQ)

Pet peeve: Getting a call from a business I patronized a few days ago asking me if I would give them a 5 on the survey I may receive.

New rule: If you call me asking for a top grade on a survey you can be certain you won't be getting it.

!rant - survey time
Anyone using cucumber?
I am wondering if I step into it or just use RSpec

Ok let's do a little survey.
What is the field on IT/Programming that you find really interesting? and Why?

showing project in school event:

me: [...] and we have this public survey, if you may, please answer it to help us get better

survey: "any scientist or historical public figure you want to see in the game?"

6 people answers "me" thinking we'd know who it is. there would be 7 if I haven't stopped she from doing it and explained to her...

Confused between vue, ember, angular and react. Which one should I learn?

I usualy don't participate in surveys. But this time for linkedin, I don't know why, I said yes. After the third question, I hit CONTINUE and ... boom! Never again.

Devranters, what's your favorite game engine of 2017 and why?

And what do you think will change in 2018?

This happened before I got into web development.
One day me and my best friend (already a developer) was try to download some pirated software on the internet. We found a website which allowed us to download the software but after completing a survey. We completed it but then we landed on another one and this guy sitting next to me took my laptop and deleted the survey pop-up doing something with the chrome developer tools. I was really freaked out and then he told me that is normal and left myself wondering.
Sorry about my bad English

What do you guys think is better? Where do you feel less annoyed?

Freelancing on your own or working at a company?

Questions around Openshift:

My company is actually triying to find out if Openshift is a thing out in the developers world. We are currently (finally) investing some money in container architectures. But are quite unsure if Openshift is a real thing out there. So my questions:

For how long are you building Openshift application PODs and why?

Or alternatively: Do you know a good source of up to date surveys around the container world, or do you know who can do good and usable surveys in that kind of area?

Stackoverflow developer survey results 2018. JS the most popular language for sixth year in a row. Hmmmm

1 --> .container {
//CSS here
}
2 --> .container
{
//CSS here
}
3 --> .container { //CSS here }

What do you all prefer guys!?
This question is kinda survey!
I just wanna know how people write CSS. 😛
Comment down!

Also comment if any other.

Hi guys,
I got myself stuck in a studentjob, where I have to do whatever I am told 😥.

We have a 10-minute survey for (former) Ingress players about the Motivation to play the game.
bitly.com/Ingress2017
I would appreciate everyone who takes part and gets me closer to the end of my work time (18h remaining 😕).

If you know people who played Ingress for some time, I would appreciate it if you could share the survey with them.

I am thinking about working on an app using which users will be able to create a survey or a set of multiple choice or sorting in a particular order questions amongst their friends or colleagues and at the end would get a response about which option received the most votes or which is the most preferred order.
The responses will be anonymous even to the creator of the questionnaire.
Is this idea good enough to work on?

Little questions that can act as a survey,
I have a dual is tablet running Windows and Android the hardware is a Intel atom with 2gb ram and 32gb flash. I'm thinking of offering one of my OS's up but I want a second opinion.
What to kill windows 10 or Android 4.4.4

In your opinion, what is the mostly preferable scenario at a hackathon: to build a product using well-known technologies or to learn something new?

Developers who use spaces make more money than those who use tabs (for indentation) (stackoverflow survey). What do you use?

Just got an "no-reply" email that wants me to click a link for customer satisfaction survey. No company name, no whatever, just plain text and the sender is "no-reply@nestor.com" Is there a way to find out where did they get my email?!

F U C K
Recently in our school our final year class choice forms are starting to be handed out. 5 lists, you pick one subject from each.

Now, I really wanted Advanced higher computing, to the point where I nearly begged on the survey choice forms. There's two of us that really want it. What happens? IT'S NOT ON THE FINAL FORM.

The only two subjects I could get was engineering and maths. Three of my other lists are completely to say politely, fucking shite.

The right way, of course, is with spaces! Those who use tabs for indentation aren’t just doing it wrong, but they also earn less, according to Stack Overflow's 2017 Developer Survey. No more discussions, right?

!Rant

A question/survey for the community.

I'm a junior web developer who has the bug for traveling. I want to work in different countries and move around a lot. How could I make that work? I'm US born without a dime of debt and a wanderer's soul. Do I just simply apply to jobs in different countries? Do I do this until I can safely freelance? Thoughts? Help? Ideas?

Hi im writing my research paper and im a bit lost.

My title is:
"File sharing over LAN: An Assessment Study for Future Implimentations"

Im lost at the statement of the problem. Besides the problem of would file transfer be possible (ik it is, but for the sake of the paper it is asked) can you guys think of any other problems?

This is my research paper and i have to make a survey out of it. Everything's done except for this part. Which im lost. Thanks in advance for any future help. :)

Edit:
Im looking for the problem of my research, which is to say; "what problem am i going to solve"

As well as survey questions i could write for when i start data gathering.