Visual Studio suggested me to install some extension. I accept.

Installed.

Now Visual Studio want to know IF I AM A MICROSOFT EMPLOYEE.

WHAT????
I'm not your fucking employee but you can as well pay me since I'm using your crap.

Why did I choose to be a web dev?

I didn't. That's the first job I found, and I didn't wanna starve

PM: That screwdriver you built me is really nice. I like how it works with all screws and bolts, does the work itself, etc., but I simply can’t get it to paint, and I really need it to cut my sandwich. Can it cut my sandwich?

PM: Also, since you finished it, the neighbor’s can opener doesn’t work, my dog got fleas, and our screw supplier ran into shipping issues. Fix these ASAP!

Bonus:
Also, remember that hack I forced you to do despite you telling me it wouldn’t work? Yeah it isn’t working. You need to fix that too.

fuck people who need to be hacked to care about security.

i hope everyone who used that early ap scores gets their credit cards stolen because they don't know how to use a vpn.

A weird thought popped up in my mind this morning. I thought about buying an iPhone.

Please rid me of this weird notion.

Death Sentence for devs who won't let you unsubscribe from newsletters without logging in

I don’t disagree 🤷🏻‍♂️

Craziest prep for interview :

Step 1 : Given sufficient time for the scheduled interview by any company, start by searching "How to prepare for Google interviews". Awe at the information before you and get all pumped up to jump in.

Step 2 : Starting with Algorithms, study each one and try not to mix any of them in confusion. In case you are stuck in whiteboard coding, close your eyes, take deep breath and visualize Don Kunth. If that doesn't help, well you are ruined anyway.

Step 3: Practice coding without internet connection, till you are able to write code while you talk about how the weather is really great today. Libraries and methods should flow like poetry. SO is sin.

Step 4: The X programming language which you added to your resume because you can write Hello World, head over to Wikipedia and read more about it just in case.

Step 5: Read some xkcd comics so you can impress the interviewer with some humor. You can try Dilbert too.

.... VS code is lit🔥🔥

I got a fuckin degree lmao

Sir Jav'alot is just staring at me.
Menacingly.

I forged a katana once, under the supervision of a swordsmith. Nothing super special like damascus patterning or anything, but the cutting edge was pretty sharp.

Ugh sorry, lame word jokes.

In terms of software...

Microsoft Office Ribbon (cutting edge at the time, lol). Only as a maintenance drone on a bunch of manual search-and-replace work and merge conflict resolving.

Ariane 6 family of rockets (Welding X-rays and other DICOM quality assurance).

Software for continuous flow chemistry, developing microfluidic PCBs to perform Elisa immunology assays during the Mexican flu outbreak. Idea was to eliminate the need for microplates, expensive robots, microwell washers, etc — just have blood plasma, enzymecoated nanoparticles, antigen, conjugated detection reagents and substrates flowing programmatically through a PCB with a spectrophotometer built in.

fullstack project that didnt have anything to do with wordpress

We got a minifridge at work. I finally brought the finishing touches

Please do rename the "master" branch to "Führer". The umlaut will probably catch a bunch of applications that aren't UTF-8 ready.

too much code for today

I just asked my gf,
"what is backgroundcolor of your saree? "

Right Ctrl be like - You guys are getting clicked? XD

"Started playing around with C scripting, can you give me a hand with x?"

"Sure. Errr... this isn't C."

"Yeah it is, like the new C scripting stuff!"

"C scripting stuff?!"

"Yeah, the coffeescript stuff! You developers always shorten it to C right?"

😬😬

The uprising is coming

When you know only one programming language but it is capable of doing Frontend, backend and everything you need...

chrome...

hahaha

Sorry, I can't work today.

As an answer to "google it" I made wportal. [more details]

So, I turned personalized ads off on YouTube and they've been fucking hilarious from being so bad.

Here's one I've just gotten. "Take care of the pregnant"

Already available online

Soooooo got fired on my day off!! 😁😁😁 Y am I sooo happy??? Bc the company's president sucks, and glad to be gone!!

So, I come in on my day off trying to help him with a promo for an app I was working on, and ass face come in with a chip already on his shoulders.

Him: So what are u going to show me?

Me: A walk through of the app.

Him: No, what specifically are u going to show me?(already getting upset)

Me: The whole app. Like from the login screen and everything else.

Him: No! I need to knw specifically what your going to show me! Like this button, that menu, this function!!!(boiling point)

Me: That's what I said, "the whole app"

Him: Do u want to be suspended a whole week??!!!

Me: (smiling) Yes!!

Him: You knw what, ur gonna tell me what the fuck ur gonna show me or--

Me: Gets up, grab my phone and head towards the door.

Him: If u leave, ur done!!

Me: Dnt care. (Continue out the door)

Him: (yelling) That's it, ur done!

Me: Happy 😁😁😁

Webpage: It looks like you are using ad-blocker
Me: It looks like you are getting closed biatch.

"doing a volkswagen" - code behaving differently on production than on your machine

As so is C++