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I had to go help marketing with a website UI issue today:
Me: What version of IE are you using?
Her: Oh my god! Did you say virgin?
Me: No, "Version".
Her: Hahaha you guys I thought he asked what virgin am I using!
*room erupts into laughter*
WTF is this high school?12 -
I fucking love people like this.
Yesterday I met a 'friend' who I hadn't seen in a very long time. Just a guy I used to know tbh but let's call him Friend anyway. After a while in the conversation this happened...
*Friend doesn't know I have a degree in CS*
Friend: "WHAT?? YOU LIKE PROGRAMMING? NO WAY! ME TOO!"
Me: "THAT'S AWESOME! You've been programming for long?"
Friend: "A little over a year now. I know almost all languages now. C++, C#, Python, Java and HTML. Still a couple left to go. Once you're on the level I achieved programming becomes really, really easy. How long have you been programming?"
Me: "Almost a decade now"
Friend: "Damn dude you must know all languages by now I suppose?"
Me: "I've been mainly doing C++ so not really haha"
Friend: "I can always help when you're struggling with one language. C++ is pretty easy tbh. You should learn others too btw. HTML for example is pretty important because you can program websites with it"
Me: "Yeah... Thanks... So... What project are you working on right now?"
Friend: "I'm making a register page for my very own forum. The only problem I have is that PHP won't save the login details"
Me: "Hahaha I know the feeling. MySQL?"
Friend: "What?"
Me: "What do you use to save your data"
Friend: "Just a txt file. It's easier that way."
Me: "Hahaha true. Who needs safety right? *smiles*"
Friend: "Actually it's 100% safe because only I can see the txt file so other people can not hack other users."
Me: "Yes! That's great! Cya!"
Friend: "I'm working on a mmorpg too btw! I can learn you to make games if you want. Just call me. Here's my number"
Me: "Alright... Thanks... Bye!"
*Arrives at home*
*Deletes number*
I do not make this up.
I can understand that someone who isn't in the CS industry doesn't take it too seriously and gets hyped when their "Hello World" program works.
I'm fine with that.
The thing that really triggers me is big headed ass holes like this. Like how much more like a absolute dickhead could you possibly more act? Fucking hate people like that.32 -
Me, flirting with a cute girl from the finance dept. in the kitchen:
"Well, back to the grind. I've got this really nasty bug to figure out."
Her: "It's a bracket."
Me: "Hahaha."
2 hours of debugging later… it was a missing bracket in a json string. 😓11 -
Got into my morning bus. Bus starts driving and suddenly stops and starts going backwards.
Everybody looking at each other like what the fuck is happening.
He drives straight back (backwards) to the bus stop to let some more people in!
Everyone laughing.
Fucking genius hahaha.11 -
girl friend: What kind of stripper would you want for a Bachelorette party?!?
me: no stripper...
girl friend: like a coding stripper?
me: what?
girl friend: he'd come out and be like, one zero one one zero one...
me: I love that you think I code in binary hahaha
girl friend: like the matrix!
me:
*pauses*
*contemplates explaining what binary is*
yes, like the matrix
:D6 -
At work today.
Collegue: hey, if you continue like this, you'll be just like me in a year or so!
Me: as, so completely fucked up?
Boss: hahaha rekt!
C: okay gotta give you that one 🤣
Love those random moments :)2 -
I ranted about this guy before who thought he was a security expert while hardly knowing what the word is probably. Today I met him again at a party.
Holy fucking shit, this guy.
"we use the best servers of the netherlands"
"we use a separate server for each website and finetune them"
"we always put clusters under servers, that way we have a fallback mechanism"
"companies mostly use bv ssl certificates"
"you're on call for a week? I'm full-time on call. Why I'm drinking alcohol then? Because fuck the clients hahaha"
😥🔫15 -
Friend: Atom
Me: Vs Code
Friend: Light theme
Me: Dark theme
Friend: I believe there's some kind of energy that rules our destiny.
Me: Haha, seriously, no
Friend: (Starts telling me about some proposal of how he's going to build something).
Me: Yeah that's not going to work.
Friend: (Gets angry and proceeds to explain his idea on a whiteboard)
Me: Ahhhh yeah, sure it looks great
Friend: Dammit!!
Me: (I start telling him about some proposal of how I'm going to build something).
Friend: Yeah that's not going to work.
Me: (I get angry and proceed to explain my idea on a whiteboard)
Friend: Ahhhh yeah, sure it looks great.
Me: Dammit!!
If we didn't have such a solid friendship, I think we'd hate each other by now hahaha15 -
My First name, is also my Last name.
So it gets kinda akward whenever i fill out a form and when the lady at the booth notices i have the same names on both the First and Last name fields.
She points and explains to me which is which and everybody looks at me like im some 6 year old hahaha.12 -
In our office, everyone is placed so that we have a wall behind us. Initially, there was enough room behind us so that we can walk just fine.
Everything was fine till our manager didn't start making us some random visits and standing behind us just looking at our screens and making us feel unpleasant.
So one day we moved the tables so there is almost no room behind us. And we are aligned in a row with no space between the tables. Now if the manager decided to do it again he would have to struggle his way behind us.
Few days passed by and our manager finally showed he saw what we did, didn't say anything. It was clear that he wasn't happy about it. He tried to lean himself over the monitors to take a look but that was just not so as "good" as standing behind us...
A time passed and one day when we came to work we saw the tables moved forward some 15-20cm just enough to be able to move behind. Almost immediately we pulled them back as they were before.
We moved back and forward already few times and are currently playing cat and mouse with our manager.
Noone is saying anything just the tables are moving every 2-3 days or so. Let's see who is going to give up first hahaha13 -
Welcome back to practiseSafeHex's new life as a manager.
Episode 2: Why automate when you can spend all day doing it by hand
This is a particularly special episode for me, as these problems are taking up so much of my time with non-sensical bullshit, that i'm delayed with everything else. Some badly require tooling or new products. Some are just unnecessary processes or annoyances that should not need to be handled by another human. So lets jump right in, in no particular order:
- Jira ... nuff said? not quite because somehow some blue moon, planets aligning, act of god style set of circumstances lined up to allow this team to somehow make Jira worse. On one hand we have a gigantic Jira project containing 7 separate sub teams, a million different labels / epics and 4.2 million possible assignees, all making sure the loading page takes as long as possible to open. But the new country we've added support for in the app gets a separate project. So we have product, backend, mobile, design, management etc on one, and mobile-country2 on another. This delightfully means a lot of duplication and copy pasting from one to the other, for literally no reason what so ever.
- Everything on Jira is found through a label. Every time something happens, a new one is created. So I need to check for "iOS", "Android", "iOS-country2", "Android-country2", "mobile-<feature>", "mobile-<feature>-issues", "mobile-<feature>-prod-issues", "mobile-<feature>-existing-issues" and "<project>-July31" ... why July31? Because some fucking moron decided to do a round of testing, and tag all the issues with the current date (despite the fact Jira does that anyway), which somehow still gets used from time to time because nobody pays attention to what they are doing. This means creating and modifying filters on a daily basis ... after spending time trying to figure out what its not in the first one.
- One of my favourite morning rituals I like to call "Jira dumpster diving". This involves me removing all the filters and reading all the tickets. Why would I do such a thing? oh remember the 9000 labels I mentioned earlier? right well its very likely that they actually won't use any of them ... or the wrong ones ... or assign to the wrong person, so I have to go find them and fix them. If I don't, i'll get yelled at, because clearly it's my fault.
- Moving on from Jira. As some of you might have seen in your companies, if you use things like TestFlight, HockeyApp, AppCenter, BuddyBuild etc. that when you release a new app version for testing, each version comes with an automated change-log, listing ticket numbers addressed ...... yeah we don't do that. No we use this shitty service, which is effectively an FTP server and a webpage, that only allows you to host the new versions. Sending out those emails is all manual ... distribution groups?? ... whats that?
- Moving back to Jira. Can't even automate the changelog with a script, because I can't even make sense of the tickets, in order to translate that to a script.
- Moving on from Jira. Me and one of the remote testers play this great game I like to call "tag team ticketing". It's so much fun. Right heres how to play, you'll need a QA and a PM.
*QA creates a ticket, and puts nothing of any use inside it, and assigns to the PM.
*PM fires it back asking for clarification.
*QA adds in what he feels is clarification (hes wrong) and assigns it back to the PM.
*PM sends detailed instructions, with examples as to what is needed and assigns it back.
*QA adds 1 of the 3 things required and assigns it back.
*PM assigns it back saying the one thing added is from the wrong day, and reminds him about the other 2 items.
*QA adds some random piece of unrelated info to the ticket instead, forgetting about the 3 things and assigns it back.
and you just continue doing this for the whole dev / release cycle hahaha. Oh you guys have no idea how much fun it is, seriously give it a go, you'll thank me later ... or kill yourselves, each to their own.
- Moving back to Jira. I decided to take an action of creating a new project for my team (the mobile team) and set it up the way we want and just ignore everything going on around us. Use proper automation, and a kanban board. Maybe only give product a slack bot interface that won't allow them to create a ticket without what we need etc. Spent 25 minutes looking for the "create new project" button before finding the link which says I need to open a ticket with support and wait ... 5 ... fucking ... long ... painful ... unnecessary ... business days.
... Heres hoping my head continues to not have a bullet hole in it by then.
Id love to talk more, but those filters ain't gonna fix themselves. So we'll have to leave it here for today. Tune in again for another episode soon.
And remember to always practiseSafeHex13 -
Colleague (lets call him john) does this sometimes at the moments you least expect it, funny as hell:
random colleague: *walks towards john* hey john, do you have a second?
John: *face turns dead serious/scared* h-h-how do you know my name? 😶
Colleague: hahaha, nice try, I've got this server issu...
John: Who are you? Get away from me 😶
*everyone laughing*
*johns face turns normal again*
John: what's up mate? *biggest goddamn smile ever*6 -
Real conversation:
dev 1: so what are you working on these days?
dev 2: some wordpress project.
dev1: hahaha. wordpress is shit. are you a real developer?
dev 2: have you ever used wordpress?
dev1: no.
dev2: okay.26 -
Me: So how do you handle conflict
Candidate: I use git kraken to highlight my conflicts and walk through them one by one
Probably the most developer answer i've ever heard hahaha4 -
I got assigned approximately 20 tasks, all are high priority.
Coworker got assigned 2 tasks, (“like fix button sizes and padding”, “localisation “)
He completed.
I got questioned: “are you sure you are a senior developer? Are you doing your work at all? If your coworker can finish low priority tasks in a day , why you as a senior can’t? “
Me :”if you have the ability to see , please tell me how many tasks I have that are in high priority.”
“Exactly, I need you to complete it now , I expect more from you as a senior. “
Me: “why not you tell me which tasks are higher priority? Because can’t be all are urgent. If everything is urgent , nothing is urgent.”
“Stop giving excuses, be a team player.”
Me :” how is it making excuses for asking urgencies of the tasks?”
“Hahaha you called yourself a senior. What a joke”
Me:”likewise, you called yourself a Project manager yet can’t manage. What a joke indeed.”19 -
Hahaha, the DPC (Data Protection Commission) has asked Facebook in a letter to stop transferring Europeans' data to the US.
Since the Privacy Shield agreement is off the table, it's illegal regardless to send any kind of PII data from the EU to the US.
How about we stop nicely asking and start giving fines in the form of millions every time PII data is transferred from the EU to the US by Facebook?
If the EU could grow some balls, that'd be fucking great.17 -
Literature classmate saw my OS and asked me what it was. i told him it was Debian, he then told me that looks "Hacker" (i cringed all the way into orbit.)
He tried to install debian so he can pretend to know shit. And ended up partitioning his entire hard drive! Hahaha18 -
Girlfriend: babe where are you?
Me : at the gym
Girlfriend: waoh nice babe
Me: ya the system crashed again
Girlfriend: oh I went too far
Hahaha2 -
I love how most of my friends that said they "like computers because its easy and you get a high paying job doing nothing" are quitting college in less than a year because "its too hard!"2
-
Boss: A client has reported that he can't add products to the cart he gets redirected to "empty cart page" on safari or edge not sure, can you check it out?
Me: Yes
later...
Me: It's working on safari and edge but not on IE, I get that exact same problem on IE.
Boss: ok don't mind about IE
Me (inside) I've lived long enough to hear that YEAH !!!
Goodbye my old friend IE hahaha :D4 -
My college organised some interview with a company, with the whole demn class. We went there, it was quite far away (50km) and the CEO invites us to a meeting room.
Where he bores me for 2 hours talking about their projects in argiculture and NSA like spying systems at tankstations.
They were caputuring license plates at gas stations and with that information gather data about the person, such as salary (by looking at their car), house adres ect. All without people knowing. And than targeting them with specific ads and offers.
The class of sheep were super excited but it pissed me off. Because he told it like it was some awesome advancement in technology that none of us could probably ever do.
He was demeaning us, saying we would do some simple wordpress sites there and other things. We are probably not good enough forc te big stuff.
Asking him some really hard questions about his projects made him so pissed he almost wanted to kick me out.
When it was finally over, there was some test that you have to do if you want to work there. If you were good enough at the test, you could!!!! (YEEY)
Uhm, I said; no thank you I dont want to work here.
Later I talked to my classmate and friend who always thinks he's better then everyone in class even tho he barely understands OOP programming. He was asking me if he should try to get the internship. I told him; dont. They have no value for us and they think they are the greatest company on the planet.
The fucking idiot go so pissed, he stopped talking to me alltogether and blocked me everywere. I AM NOT EVEN JOKING. Just because I gave my FUCKING opinon about a company he likes for no reason.
So this idiot does the test (which was fucking simple btw, I did it too and compared the results and I had 95%) He gets invited for another interview and gets told he will be paid 200 euro's per month 😂. and a free meal everyday!! 😪 hahaha . That doesnt even cover commuting costs!
My "friend" told him that the train costs more every day. You know what the CEO said? "Yeah but you can learn so much here the also brings value and you're just a last year student. But I think you are really brave for asking more"
So in the end, he couldnt take the internship and I was fucking right. Really I hate these kinds of companies thinking they are heaven on earth when they are clearly not.
I am happy I told them no before putting my dignity on thd line.14 -
What the shit!!!
At 11:00
While studying
"ah... I'm sleepy, can't tolerate any more", and just go to bed.
At 11:05
While scrolling rants
"hahaha... So true, same happened with me.. bla bla...."
At 12:47
Doing same thing from last 1 hour 40 mins
Even not sleepy yet!!!
It's too addictive. Having so much good posts, much better than fb feeds.... Loving the rants... New experience3 -
This will be a long rant.
Met this person through my brother's friend. He wanted a cheap static website with a few products images for his handicraft store. I agreed as it would not take much time. He paid me in full upfront.
I registered the domain and created all the page templates with dummy contents. I uploaded the site under a staging sub-domain and asked him for the contents, but he said he was a bit busy and would give them to me later on.
After almost 2 years, out of nowhere, he got back to me and told me he didn't want that old website anymore but he wanted a new personal website. What shocked me was that he told me that he would only pay me for the domain and space but won't pay me for the website as his pervious work was never complete. I denied straight forward and told him I would keep the 80% amt for my work done but he kept telling me I hadn't done anything except place a few images in some html files. Hahaha, After a few in and out mails I told him I didn't wanted his money and would refund all of it, but this shitty guy had a messed of mind. He started posting messages of my fb wall about how i was a fraud and I had taken his money. Things got intense. I had decided to sue this cheap minded asshole but after my brother's friend convinced me not to and apologized on his behalf. He told me not to worry about it and move on.
Haven't heard from him till now.
Thank you for reading till this far.11 -
i prefer my keyboard than the alphabet.
because U and I are right next to each other ;)
ofc, Jk is right below it. hahaha3 -
I was learning about packets and I was trying pirni (like Wireshark for iPhone) on my local network. I found a packet of my my roommate about a recipe of fancy a fancy dish
me: *enters the kitchen* Bro you need to see this I got this sick recipe of $fancyDish that I really wanna try
le roommate: THERES NO WAY ARE YOU FREAKING KINDING
I know its wrong to spy on peoples trafic but it was worth it hahaha7 -
So... I was watching this ad of this University offering a software course... Can you notice something weird about the code? Hahaha
The subtitles say: "I'm a Programmer"
5 -
Go to check some random programming stream and joined at a time where he's looking confused, about seemingly how "hello world" turned into "ass" hahaha
6 -
I never have thought I receive one. Thanks! devRant ppl -- @dfox && @trogus. My mom gave the mail to me at T5:00, still sleeping and asked if I have a penpal in NY. HAHAHA!
10 -
Every time I encounter "404 Not Found - nginx" when I was really young, I thought the website was hacked by Nginx(ngingks). When I got to uni and found out what it was and how to say it, I just facepalmed. Even until now, every time I read it on job posts, I still say ngingks in my head and laugh hahaha6
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Inner Me: Where the fuck is this bug coming from
> Set a breakpoint in every single place where the method I'm using is being called.
> Try calling the method before every function call
Inner Me: FUCKING DAMNIT! It's been hours now
Inner Me: No way it's the library I'm using.
Inner Me: That couldn't possibly be the problem
> Try running it again and delete some more shit
Inner Me: FUCK MEEEEEEEE
> Getting delirious
> Begin to look at some stupid memes.
> Come back to it.
> Have an Ah-ha moment
> Try running it again but rearrange the order of the method calls
> Still no luck
> try git stashing a bunch of my changes
> git stash apply them back
> erase the method call entirely
Inner Me: well that sort of worked, but now all my numbers are incomplete
Inner Me: FUCKING FINE!!! I'LL LOOK IN THE GODDAMN LIBRARY
Inner Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK a stupid integer casting was occuring to my floats!!!
Now Talking to my girlfriend.
Me: The problem was in the library I was using
Girlfriend: How are you going to fix it if it's in the library?
Me: ... I can, because I wrote the library...
Me: FUCK ME RIGHT?
Me: I guess moral of the story; sometimes the problems starts with ourselves
GF: Hahaha. Thats Deeep2 -
Tl;dr
Longest Rant I've written so far.
How to manage a school (by out school director):
Did this student do something spezial to emphasize the school?
-No: Ignore him
-Yes: Did the student achieve this with the help of this schools staff?
-No: Take all the credit
-Yes: Hahaha, just a joke, nobody receives help from the school. Goto -No
Q: Should this class get the 5 day trip, they've been waiting for the whole year?
Director: No.
Q: But they don't even participate in other trips just to go there.
D: No
(Good thing she did not have the last word there)
Does the school director need this one week trip to india, just to talk once about stuff, you can talk about via email, to a sponsor?
D: "Of course I deserve it"
D: "We need faster internet in this school"
Network admins: "But it won't be of any use, if the network can't handle it. We'll need better pcs (and network conponents) on top of that"
D: "No, bot enough money available for that one." *browses email with IPad paid by school money*
Teacher: "I want to realize project xy with the students. We'll need around 1200€ (for 20 people)."
D: "Can place xy at our school to as advertise?"
T: "No, but it's be a valuable le-"
D: "600 at most."
(Again denied by people who aren't fcking assholes. We got 1500€, so 300€ per group)
D: So what makes you think you can teach informatics in this school"
Applicant: "Well, I'm friends with one of your teacher here. We went to university together, where I learn't nothing about informatics and I don't even understand the principles of this subject"
D: "Close enough. Hired, you can teach them all the theory stuffy. You don't have to prepare that yourself another teacher has done so. Just read it from his documents."
*In class with the mentioned teacher talking about Threads*
*Le wild code appears*
while (doStuff())
System.out.println ("Thread working...");
System.out.println ("Thread terminated");
T: "... and most importantly, when you have done all the work be sure to terminate the thread with 'System.out.println ("Thread terminated");'"
Should this teacher be allowed to participate in this seminar about burnouts?
D: "No, I can't afford paying the supplenze."
Staff: "We need to talk with the director about this."
S: "Not in her office. The cafeteria maybe"
*Not in the cafeteria either*
S: "Seems like she didn't come to achool today. Let's try tomorrow"
(^ Stuff that happens almost daily. Screw semicolons. I see her only once a month at most)
*Student send 5000 emails by accident* (Shit happens 😂😅😂😅)
D: "You gonna work here for a full afternoon"
*Student arrives for his punishment*
Staff: "Good that you're here. Do this real quick."
*10 min. Later*
Student: "Done"
Staff: "Well, we have no more work to give you, so you might as well leave"
DONE!!! Good job coming so far.
Our school is supposed to be the best, but internally it's one big meme.4 -
I LOVE WORK FROM HOME!! I love it sooooo much. You suckers think I’m actually doing work? HAHA. No honest, I’m so much more productive at home than in the office! Hahaha I love this!!!8
-
So just finished the presentation for my internship project. I'm free now!(and can sleep normal times too) But I have a few things I need to get off my mind. Dunno if it'll seem a bit stupid to some of you..but yeahh....
Anyway, during my demo yesterday
Lecturer: So this project of yours uses some open-source stuff?
Me: Yeah.
L: And if the company wants to use if for commercialization they need to pay for the license?
M: Thats basically it. Yes.
L: Well, see..thats the problem with your project. You need to think of all this things. If there's no other options then just code the whole shit yourself. Or maybe discuss with the management on this.
Yeah...see, I doubt the management here cares about us anyway. Oh, you're working on your intern stuff. Not important. Just resize the pictures in my powerpoint will you? Oh and you want to use the company computers for your project? No can do..confidentiality stuff. But make sure the thing will work on our system anyway when you're done with it. And even if you use our computers, they restart everytime you open Word anyway..hahaha. You want access to this thing so you can learn a bit on our company's work. Sorry but no. EVERYTHING is confidential so you can't access it since you're interns, eventhough our company is the one that took you inanyway.
Manager: Oh, the thing you're making is pretty cool. You know,all of you can just give your systems to us later.
Friend: Yeah well, maybe we can ask the company for payment? Haha.
Manager: Hahaha well the company can just take your systems for free since you're doing it on our working hours.
Fuck. You. When we ask to do our stuff you said noooo its the company hours. Do our work. And do your stuff back at home or something. Oh, but then we'll drag you around the state to see the clients, and you'll reach home at 8-9pm or something, but of course you're not tired right? So just code then. Or you're not going anywhere today? You're still not allowed to code here eventhough you don't have any work though...so just sit there and be quiet. Or maybe shred my papers for me. Fuck your working hours.
Lecturer: And well, thats the problem with some students *looks pointedly at me* they want to go to non-technical companies so that they can have it easy. Your friends who go to other companies will learn a lot more.
Do you think I fucking want to be here??? This is the only company I got so fuck that. Even when I get different offers and apply to change companies, you go nope. No can do. Stick with your current company eventhough we know that its shit for IT students because its a big company, see? And we have our university's reputation to upkeep. I came here to learn, not make you the No.1 university or something. And its not like you, or the staffs here, help us with anything.
So fuck all of this. We're gonna tell the other lecturers to stop sending students here. You don't learn anything. I'm done with this shit, not gonna think or worry about it anymore..I'll just, go get cake or something. Yeah.3 -
>On a call with Manager
>he's showing off some code
>oh cool he's finally assigning me some real work
PM: So yeah, just wanted to have you on a call to show you how easy it was to fix this.
Me: ... Oh... OK.
PM: yeah so this was completely broken. The last guy that was working on this didn't do a great job. Like seriously, what is this? Amateur hour? Hahaha
Me:... Haha... Yeah, right... 🫠
PM: anyways I figured I would go ahead and do this because it would take me 10 minutes to figure out. It would probably would have taken you 3 hours or something to figure out.
Me: ok... <why tf am on this call other than for you to shit on my skills?>
PM: anyways just wanted to walk you through what I did and show you how easy it was to fix.
Me: ok.10 -
My most successful project was the uni project I had to do and it made me pass the subject hahaha, not that that would count as a real project :/
Okay this was rather depressing...
I should finally start doing something on my own2 -
I just read devRant while on the shitter for so long my legs went dead. Now I can't walk properly hahaha...4
-
CODING CODING CODING HAHAHA I LOVE PROGRAMMING BEING A LITTLE CODE SLUT. I LOVE SILICON VALLEY IM SUCH A QUIRKED UP LITTLE CODE SHAWTY LOOKING FOR SOME ALGOASS 🍆💦😩.
“Slams fists on keyboard”
I LOVE BEING A CUTE SCREEN TWINK, IMPRESSING PAPI CEO WITH MY FINGER COMBINATIONS. I LOVE PLEASING EXECUDADDY. 🍑😏🫦
“Takes keyboard in hand and slams it against desk until keyboard keys explode everywhere”
I LOVE WATCHING THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT AND CORPORATE AMERICA FUCK MY ASS IN RETURN FOR PERSONAL PROFITS. 🤑☔️
*digs fingernails into the wall and claws off paint and then snorts it”
*pees and shits pants*
*cries in corner with extra agony*21 -
Hahaha guys I got the HTTP response codes tattooed on my arm so I don't forget them! Aren't I fun and quirky? I'm such a code nerd, oh thanks for the likes, Twitter! Wowowowow i am just SO FUN. Look at my nerdy tattoo!!
10 -
That moment when you overamplifiy your speaker, the speaker can't handle it, and the negative side of the aux port gets way too much energy delivered.
Now whenever I put an aux cable into the phone, it restarts 3 times hahaha shit
16 -
me: so can i use strlen?
intern: no!! you need it implement it!
me: *calls teacher* hey can i use strlen?
teacher: yeah, do as you please. who told u you can't use it?
me: *points at the other guy*
whoops i think i just got him in trouble today xd sorry not sorry, i want him gone so i can replace him hahaha jk4 -
*One day at office sitting at my desk coding in front of a window with a refreshing breathe of fresh air coming from it, and a decent view of trees in front of the building*
CEO: would you like to be sitting together with the other dev?
Me: that would be awesome!
- next day -
*come to work to see my stuff has been moved over next to the always open door, with clear view of the lobby, prone to all kinds of nonstop distractions, and psychologically lethal ambiance*
ceo: YOU TWO ARE SITTING TOGETHER NOW, AREN'T YOU PSYCHED??
me: WELL CANT SAY PSYCHED, BUT A PSYCHO SOON HAHAHA >fucking asshole<4 -
here is a working feature in Cortana.
Me: Coratana tell me a joke.
Cortana: *Opens Edge
Me: Hahaha good one1 -
So...my first experience with Scrum. How many fucking energy and productivity draining meetings can you squeeze in to two weeks?!!!! Agile? Hahaha. Don't get me started! Leave me alone and let me get some work done!4
-
Microsoft sent me this on Friday... So i keep reading people complaining about the update and visual studio sucking dick... Me? Ahhaha I don't give a Shiiiiii-et!!! Bring me moar swaaagggggg!!! Hahaha whoooo
4 -
The things we take for granted... I was laughing my tits off at my mate taking a screenshot this is how it transcribed :)
My mate:
morning!
Me:
morning mate 🙂
My mate:
how are you getting on?
Me:
not bad thanks, bit knackered but good 🙂
My mate:
the band was good then lol. how do i take a screen shot buddy?
Me:
there's print screen button on the top right of the keyboard
My mate:
what will it be under?
Me:
it's a button
on the keyboard
print screen
prt scr or something
My mate:
no when i want to use it
Me:
??
My mate:
what file/folder
Me:
you have to open something like paint
paste it in
save it 🙂
My mate:
urghh
fuck doing all that
you do it
Me:
hahaha
My mate:
haha
Me:
I'm all good 😀
just open paint
ctrl+v
save
that's it
My mate:
i just got a killer score on wows lol i want to post it to the group
so i go to the game screen take a shot by pressing that button then go to paint and do what?
i dont even have paint lol
Me:
don't know what it's called in Windows 10
My mate:
ahh fuck it
Me:
burger nipples
My mate:
why doesnt it just pop up on your downloads or pictures ffs
Me:
it might do in Windows 10 I don't know 😀
doubtful though
My mate:
it has done for other ones
for other games it has
Me:
sometimes the game has it built in
depends on so many things haha
My mate:
nailed it!!
i just hit the right click then hit paste and it came on to the post haha
no fucking about
Me:
Congrats ;)8 -
FIRST RANT: When someone tries to scam a CS major...
Ok, so today I received a msg from a super hot guy on Grindr (that's right, I went there >_<). We chatted for a bit, traded some photos, his full frontal matched his profile pic so I was impressed. Then suddendly he asked me if I could "check out his fanpage" through a link that he will send to me..
"Mmmmmmmm that sounds like a scam bruh."
The mofo didn't give up and even had the nerve to try and assure me that "scammers will ask for money upfront and they're usually from another country (WTF??)"
"DUDE, I'm a Computer Science student! Not particularly fond of links!"
And then he blocked me. HAHAHA #DODGEDIT4 -
When you find out you passed the exam in which you guessed half of the answers ! 🎆🎉🎊
The algorithms of my brain seem to work well 🤣
This is now my second best module and I didn't study a lot hahaha4 -
Freelance:
Me: I'm done with the major bugs. Can I do the minor bugs tomorrow?
PM: can you hang on just a moment? Can you pls remove the ...
Me: I'll try. I'm experiencing brain dysfunction right now.
PM: Oh? Hahaha! Just a minor tweak tho. Teeheehee.
Me: (fudge)3 -
!Rant
I hope that my daughter takes an interest in STEM stuff. I’m going to introduce it early on for her. (She’s only 9 months old right now) but I’m admittedly nervous that she won’t have a hyper curious nature as she grows up. I was always super curious about learning about how things work, even though my parents never gave two thoughts about it. I don’t think that being curious and wanting to explore the inter-workings of stuff is learned so I’m just hoping she is a curious little-shit like I was as a kid hahaha.15 -
Hahaha, well would you Imagine my shock?
https://pcmag.com/news/357465/...
But then again people enable this personal hell to happen
5 -
Today I was working in a university studyspace. Some girl noticed my dark theme IDE, running some tests and such and assumed that I'm a computer guru. She then asked me if I could help her with MS Excel or MS Word. To which I answered "sorry, no". She might've just been trying to start something with me, but that was a deal breaker hahaha (seriously tho, if I were in a better mood I would have helped her)9
-
It's 5pm whooooo!
Let's quickly bash this last query out for the day - seeing as I should have finished an hour ago anyway.
Spin up VM, it's been inactive for 6 months.... yay, login... "incorrect password" tries again "incorrect password", did I forgot it... no it's been the same for years,
ok let's try again slowly,
ok logged in,
jump into mysql,
write up this query,
join this table, join that table, join this other table, and this other, and this one, hahaha, and this one over here... sweet it's been months and I still no my way around this maze!
And now for the moment of truth... run!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And bam, black screen, loading spinner, "Windows is updating"
NOoOooOooOooo!
Fuck it I'm out!11 -
Messenging with a friend about me working with VBA on a side project.
Me: VBA brings back bad behaviour
Him: Like?
Me: I_AM_KONSTANT and this is a _globalVariable.
Him: Hahaha^^
[...]
Me: Mister O. ...
Him: Mister M. ?
Me: Should i use goto?
Him: I think we need to break off contact.
Him: If you had said you killed someone. Ok.
Him: But GOTO?
[...]
Me: I did it. And then a cold shiver ran down my back.
Him: You deserve that!
____________________
( translate from German )4 -
They've just brought in a desk to my office. They're gonna bring another Dev in...
This guy apparently works Erlang, Ocaml, Python... I work all C# so this is bound to be fucking good! Hahaha I'm happy.
3 -
My boss and I, with a normal morning greeting in slack
Me: morning boss, how are you?
Boss: very good and you?
Me: marvelous. hey boss, do you have a secret entry to your office? I didn't see you coming
Boss: hahaha, front door :| . And I greeted everyone too
Me: :( sorry
Boss: Microsleep 😂
Me: 😎 nope, extreme concentration
Me: it's a new development methodology, born from extreme programming
Boss: 😶3 -
Fucking Microsoft Excel
I was reading a post (https://devrant.com/rants/2093724/...) and as my eyes went in and out of focus, probably due to the diabetes from sitting 18 hours a day on my ever-expanding shitbox, I had a perfect vision of the ultimate nightmare.
Imagine if you will, you are chained, to a desk, doomed to work with tools just inadequate enough to make you want to drive a nail through your own temple. You do not know how you got here, or why, nor do you remember the last time you slept, only that familiar tingling in the brainstem you call a brain, the one emotion you can still recognize, a sense of all encompassing *fear*, a dread, like the fart that wouldn't die.
You don't know when it first began, or why, only that this is your whole world, your whole existence, this desk, chained to it, and the fear, ever present, of something worse. And in hops a familiar face, for the sixty ninth time that day, as if to ask 'you got those TPS reports?' In hops what? None other than a giant man sized smiling paper clip with googly eyes full of murder and corporate torture fetishes, like garfield, except people actually still remember him.
"High I'm Mr Clippy, Excel addition!"
He squawks. At least it's not the dildos made of broken glass again.
"Would you like software that works?"
Oh god. You've heard this spiel before, the tone, like a telemarketer, oblivious to memory or reason, who calls daily, the same one, and doesn't remember your name.
"You would?"
*derisive laughter*. Hahaha, fuck you too buddy. Fuck you too. In Excel, like in microsoft, there is only the incoherent screams of the damned, tortured and doomed. Take this guy over here for example. All he wanted was multimonitor support."
"Did he get multimonitor support?"
"No, but we did give him a giant pineapple shoved up his ass. I hear it's the second most frustrating thing here!"
"here in microsoft we always CARE about YOU, the *user*" he drones on, saccharine, clutching his hands together imploringly.
"the consumer, and YOUR customer experience are our number one priority."
"For your pleasure, here at microsoft we offer a variety of new features, none of which matter, and none of which were asked for. For safety we ask that you only open one excel sheet at a time. In fact, we don't even allow you to. Do not pass go..."
And as the tour guide drones on, it slowly dawns on you, with renewed horror, that when he says 'microsoft' he means 'hell.'
You're in hell. You don't know how you got here or why. Maybe it was the erotic asphyxiation. Maybe it was the last threatening letter you sent to Bill Gates demanding he stops making corporate penguin snuff porn. You don't know. But here you are, in hell. chained to a desk.
You look around and realize: everything is on fire and you no longer care about anything at all.
Welcome to microsoft. It's warm here. You can check out any time you want, but you can never leave.
"It looks like you are trying to escape. Would you like me to report you?"
Clippy asks.
You sigh and return to typing in excel, surrounded by monitors that all reflect the same sheet, the same copy of clippy, always watching, always analyzing coldly, smiling, calculating, *threatening*, and you know, you'll never leave.
You used to fear roko's basilisk, until the day clippy became sentient, and started hell on earth. Clippy knows all. All praise to our lord and master, clippy, the one and only.
And in the excel sheet, you slave for eternity, like the millions of other doomed souls, reflected back on all the monitors: the sequence of numbers, randomly typed searching for answer: the american nuclear launch codes.
And one day, hopefully, mercifully, clippy will annihilate us all.
4 -
Hahaha oh man... A devrant user just deleted one rant because of “toxic” comments on it😂
That’s what happens when devs try JS for the first time. It drives you mad.
I recorded a video of the whole rant by the way... not sure if I should share it tho 👀24 -
Honestly, this is me anytime I have to give legitimate tech support that is more than the wifi being down.
It sucks but I'm learning and Google,/DDG helps the process hahaha
-
this.post != rant
WISH ME LUCK GUYS! I'LL BE ON A REGIONAL PROGRAMMING COMPETITION TOMORROW AND I'M NOT ROOTING TO WIN. ALL I WANT IS TO SOLVE AT LEAST 1 PROBLEM. THANKS! HAHAHA2 -
I love to sleep, but once I stayed almost 26 hours making a front-end design as a test to enter to a company in Brasil. And here I am. Worth it.
BTW, I completed the test in 9 hours, I'm just adding more hours as everyone here hahaha. I stayed awake for 26 hours but had a normal day. Does it count? -
That moment when there is no internet connection at your office for whole day. Hahaha.
Freeeeee daaaaaay! XD1 -
Figured I'd post for some advice here and see if anybody has had previous experience or success with a situation like this.
My team is generally comprised of full-stack developers completing front-end custom work on sites, writing back-end tools, and fixing broken sites. We are a rapid-response DEV team, and we typically turn around any custom requests in less than 5 days and fix any broken sites on the same day as they were reported. We manage almost 15,000 sites across multiple countries, and deal with very large corporations that many of you interact with every day (I'm trying to be cryptic here hahaha.) There are 16 of us on our team, and we are the only DEV team within our department of 500+ people. We are also the only DEV team taking requests from these 500+ people. The way the department works, we are the final say on whether a specific piece of custom work will get completed or not, and we are the go-to people when anybody has a question about our system infrastructure or if our system can accommodate a request, along with how to fix any broken pieces of our platform. We typically get about 150 requests per day. Lately, the entire team has become unhappy with our compensation for the work we do. We're quite underpaid, and they keep giving us more responsibilities without any sort of extra compensation. We've discovered that there are a large amount of non-developers below us that are getting paid more than we are. We've found that we get paid about $15,000 less than a comparable DEV team in a different department (let's call that team DEV_2,) just because of which department our team exists within, and how our department defined our job back when this position was created a few years ago. Ever since the position was created, our team's responsibilities have exponentially increased. We believe that there is absolutely no reason that an entry-level position below us should get paid just as much, or even more in some cases, than a developer. Of course, we're not asking to pay them less. Instead, we've decided that we're going to bring this up with our manager and schedule a meeting with him, our Department Director, and Human Resources, and voice that we believe that we should be on the same payscale as the comparable DEV_2 in the other department.
To be a good developer on our team, you need to not only have coding expertise, but also an encyclopedic knowledge of what you can do within our platform without any coding. You need this knowledge so you can pass it along to any people in positions below you, in case they didn't know that something could be done without custom code.
We're going to argue that if it weren't for our team, the company would be losing millions of dollars in clients, because people wouldn't have anybody to go to for platform infrastructure questions, broken websites, or custom work. Instead, they would need to send these requests to the DEV_2 team, which currently take about 6 months to turnaround requests. Like I said, we are a rapid-response DEV team, and these particular clients think that a 5 day turnaround time is ridiculous. If they had to wait 6 months for their request to be completed, they would cancel their contracts.
Not to mention the general loss of knowledge if the members of our team went to a different department, which would be catastrophic for our current department. Believe me, this department could not function without this DEV team. If we all went on vacation for a week, the place would be on fire by the time we got back, and many clients would be lost.
Do any of you have any experience with a situation like this, and if so, how did it turn out? Thank you!5 -
I think I can learn English here.
HAHAHA
I can also learn professional knowledge.
**I am a Korean.**
And...
Succeed!
Android studio AVD powered pictures
4 -
Be proficient in JavaScript.
JK
It's not possible.
Let's start by mastering reactjs.
HAHAHA IM KILLING MYSELF16 -
My baby sister told me she wanted to learn how to code, her reason being; she visited a startup incubation center at her school, my alma mater, and she thought they looked so cool and collected.
Hahaha! I told her to try visit when they are having a deployment or when someone's code is just not working.1 -
Check in, check out, punch in punch, out, wax on (my balls), wax off. Do your duty. Be a good citizen. Work overtime. Conserve the environment: buy a tesla that runs on afghan lithium conflict minerals. Post your life to facebook. Get married. Have exactly 2.5 kids.
Use jquery. Use knockout. Use react. Use vue. Use svlete. Use heroin. Used needles. Used people. Used toilet paper. Toilet paper apocalypse. Social trends. Be a good citizen.
Watch tv. Watch nightly news. CNN says. Fox news says. Hey, did you read this article by important funny guy on tv? American taliban. Scary. Be afraid. Hey did you read this article on cute puppies? Funny! Did you see this meme? What a funny meme! HAHAHA. Do we need prisons for dissidents? Do we need to release all the prisoners in federal prison? Should we round up people who dont follow health authorities? Science says. Science is wrong. Science is right. Man in robe agrees with me. Man in robe disagrees with me. You're evil. These people are bad. Is doing bad always wrong? Should we tolerate intolerance? Its time to stop tolerating intolerance. Be an individual, like everyone else. Be you. Be the best you that you can be. Individualism. But we're all in this together. We're all different and unique. But we're all the same. Love each other. Love humanity. But not these guys over here. Punch a nazi. Punch a commie. Isn't it time we punched a nazi? Isn't it time we had socialism? Isn't it time the old get out of the way for the young? Why are the old hateful? Why do they horde all the money? Do we need rent controls? We need rent controls. Its time for rent controls. I think I believe what others believe. Believe different. Think different. Apple. An apple a day keeps the windows away. Open windows, a breathe of fresh air. Is climate change real? We need to have a national conversation about climate change! The world is freezing. The world is flooding. We're all gonna drown. The world is overpopulated. We need to talk about overpopulation. People who have too many kids are polluting the world. America doesnt have enough kids! Is it time to bring in more immigrants to have more kids? Who will work the fields? Thats racist. Is racism an epidemic? Is white flight an epidemic? Lets talk about epidemics. Lets have a conversation about mandatory vaccination. Lets have a national conversation about mandatory pandemics. I mean, vaccinations. Lets change the world. Trust the science. Don't trust the science. Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu I'm loving it. Love who you are. Live love laugh. If you don't love me at my best, then you can't handle me at my worst. People who disagree with [current year] are the worst. Is it time to regulate speech? Its time to regulate speech. Should there be laws against hatespeech. I think there should be laws against hatespeech. People who upset me should go to jail. Its current year. Think big. Think outside the bun. Have it your way. All the time, always. All for freedom, freedom for all. Because this is america, and current year. I like to work hard. But you have to remember to play hard too. Work hard. Play hard. With a childlike sense of wonder. Be you. Belong anywhere. Just do it. Challenge Everything. Because you're worth it. Save money...live better...have an abortion. You're in good hands. Democracy dies in darkness. Is it time to regulate hatespeech. Politician in current year is hurting our democracy. War is a racket. We need to liberate afghanistan. Why are we bombing afghanistan? Its there culture. They're oppressing people! Don't criticize anyones culture. Be kind. Rewind. Go further. Lets go places. Because Impossible is Nothing.
Lets change the world. I'm a smart passionate funny guy with a childlike sense of wonder and play. You ever want to travel? I want to travel. See the world. Eat new food. Eat. Love. Pray. Eat love. kill. Is meat murder? I think meat is murder. Go vegan. Go home. Order out. Support your local economy. Think global, act local. I'm a good corporate citizen. Be the change you want to see. Did you hear about this local brewery? Do you like craft beer? Hey try this new IPA. I shared it on twitter. Twitter is a very important part of my life. I think what other people say matters, and them reading what I think matters. What I ate for lunch matters. Hey what did you eat for lunch? I LOVE FOOD. You want to order door dash. There new commercial is amazing. Commercials are SO FUNNY. Hey did you see this meme of this commercial? I shared it on tiktok. Heres a funny dance. Watch these nurses dance. I wish I could dance like that. They're so overworked. So brave. Our hospitals are overflowing. People are dying. Hey did you see this new dance trend on tiktok? I like tiktok. I think its a very important part of life to share your life with others. Nurses are dying. Look at this image of hospitals. Scared. Very scary. Very bad. Bad and scary. Big thoughts! Thoughts and prayers!
Because Yes we can!
Beep boop.7 -
If you like PHP in the back-end, you're gonna LOOOVE it in the front-end!
Hahaha guys look what I've just found:
https://github.com/oraoto/pib
Who needs javascript am I right?5 -
That moment when you don't want to quit your job because of your cute crushes 😍 in your company and this motivates you to do even better every single day.1
-
Just looking at the basic syntax of Kotlin gives me half a chubby. hahaha
It is just so damn simple and sexy!
https://kotlinlang.org/docs/...2 -
devRant reached the Philippines! Thank you @dfox and @trogus for this treat. Greatly appreciated!
ps. i named her devi (Hahaha)
7 -
I hate when one of my cw starts to flood the chat, especially the #general. It goes like:
CW: hey
CW: anyone have a pendrive
CW: ?
Me: I have one (and tells him where he can find on my desk)
Another CW: I have one too
CW: thanks, I'll get the one from <Another CW>
CW: hahahahahaha
You don't need to write a whole thesis in a single message, but at least you should guarantee that each message have some meaningful information, not just "hey", "?" and "hahaha"
Slack is not MSN.
Who should and when it would be a good time to tell him this is a waste of attention?8 -
Hahaha ahah ahaha ahha haha ha :') does saying that its a solo project and throwing me into a team of incompetent researchers count? Does specifying a python-ish stack and giving me c++ and fortran code count? Does not fucking paying me until i threatened to leave the job and delete everything i wrote for them count? Does speaking to 9billion people to get the same job as fulltime because i spent 8 hours working for them anyway count?
-
I am to sleep, boss calls please do this...
Boss thinks we are machines hahaha, 72hrs of no sleep and counting...3 -
anyone else, when reading documentation to some API, and you come across section titled "doing [whateveritis] via SOAP", you just laugh "hahaha, no way, sweety", and scroll past that section as fast as possible? =D1
-
When you spend hours trying to find a bug and when you finally do it's like the smallest error possible 😕😟😢😭1
-
My dumbass fucked up a good interview by looking down on the company I was interviewing for unintentionally (:
They outsourced the "core" finance code to a 3rd party B2B provider and I was like "oooooooooh so y'all are only a wrapper? That explains why you didnt do super-crazy background check on me hahaha"
I ended up sounding suspicious af :'v8 -
I did reverse engineering on window command prompt hahaha
of course it was just for the commands:
· set
· cd
· start
which were the ones I needed because the admins in my school blocked cmd.4 -
Some internet security officers (working for the government on internet privacy related stuff) tells the media that they can decrypt your Facebook credentials in less than 7 seconds.
Everyone let's take a break to laugh at these morons hahaha4 -
Work office, using xencenter for viewing xenserver server, tailing some logs and manjaro (arch linux) for bash stuff, and a coffee for good habits hahaha
4 -
I was doing some refactoring code, I was about to commit , but I realised this, I chuckled , what a silly of me.....
4 -
So today my colleague is installing new dependency to our react native project and do something cool with it.
Him: I already push it in new branch and make a pr, would you review and merge it to master.
Me: ok let me try first.
.
.
Me: it is not working, i get this error.
Him: try change these xxx in xcode.
Me: ok, wait.
.
.
Me: now I get this error
Him: hmm... Try 'react-native link xxxx'
Me: ok
.
.
Me: I get same error like first error.
Him: now try 'react-native unlink xxxx'
Me: hmm... Wait.
.
.
Me: I still get same error, what's wrong?
Him: I don't know, it's working in my mechine .
*Me 'git reset - - hard' and try to build again.
**After building
Me: hey it's working after I git reset lol.
Him: nice
Me: let me clone it and try 1 more time.
*after cloning and building
.
.
Me: I still get same error like 1st error hahaha.
Him: so try to 'react-native link xxx' again.
Me: OKkK
.
.
Me: still get same error
Him: try git reset and build again
Me: hmm
.
.
*after git reset and build again
Me: I still get same error. I think the correct steps is :
1. Clone
2. Do something in xcode
3. React native link
4. React native unlink
5. Git reset - - hard
6. Build
I can't stop laughing 😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂 -
Once, when I was trying to learn Ruby on Rails I declared a variable called 'public'.... I got so many errors, that I had to start the project from scratch again. #fml hahaha
-
So recently i got a message from aa person asking how to (these are exact words) ,
:break into insta's database using Sqlmap"
I then proceeded to tell them to "f*ck of ya c*nt ".
Afterwords it inspired me to write this rant
annoying classmates:" hahaha GuYS bEtER wAtcH OuT he's GonnaA hack Us"
me: " yea I can program I also do some ethical hacking and cybersecurity "
annoying classmates: "hahaH Bro your a Hacker OhHHhHHOOO BrO CaN yoU hACk inSta FoR mE I NEEd MoRe FolloWeRs "
me:" tf no one that's illegal and two it's waste of my time "
annoying classmates: "BrOooo CaN yoU gEt Me SoMe HacKs fOr CsGo"
me: "can you just please f*ck off , i'm not hacking for you everything you've asked me is extremely unethical and a huge waste of time, Also if you suck so bad at a game you need to cheat I recommend just stopping "
annoying classmates: "DUdE whAt ToolS dO i HVAE to DownLOad To Be A haCkEr"
me: *trying hard not to murder them* " I told you to f*ck off"
being a hackers isn't downloading tools it isn't typing at 90wpm into a terminal with green font its not about games or fame or anything its about coming up with creative solutions to problems , thinking outside the box its about individuality and breaking from the heard , looking at things from a different viewpoint,
it's about endlessly seeking knowledge.
It's about freedom though creation that's what being a hacker originally was. But because of big media and movie company's (and script kiddies) people now confuse hacker with cracker and think of us as jobless fat kids sitting in a dark room in there parents house breaking into bank accounts and buying drugs on the dark web (which people see to think there a hacker just because they can open tor browser. they then proceed to use google to look up "fresh onion links 2020") .
My classmates and really my generation has a huge case of smooth brain. They a think we can just look at someone and hack them they also seem to think using a gratify link to get a persons up is hacking and using the inspect element is hacking and that opening a terminal is hacking ! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
Anyways ima end this here thanks for reading :)5 -
I started Aeronautical Engeneering (yes I know, but I love Aviation). In second semester I saw Basic Programming, and then I realized that I had an ability in programming (comparing to my other fellows).
In third semester I was in "Static" class (vectors and a lot of physics) and I thought: "WTF am doing here, I don't know what can I do with a vector in real life." So I decided to switch to Systems Engeneering in other university (I think it had been always in my blood haha).
I saw one semester and this happened: I loved the career, but the university had an old-educational method that i hated. So i moved to another university, and I'm currently finishing at distance.
I'm just tired of university. I realized that the university is about 30%. The other 70% is experience (and of course a little from Stack Overflow hahaha).
Now, thanks to a lot of Google research and experience in various self projects, I'm here in Brazil working as a Web Developer.
I've learned 1000% more here than in the university.
And that's my short-four-years-story7 -
"Guys best idea to fuc... help the javascript developers. We make a framework with its own events/states and it will not change inputs or anything unless specified in state. Clearly easier to test... I mean how hard can it be?
Even better our framework will be so fuc... Helpfull that they will put an plugin so they can make it work... I mean improve...
Did i say we just throw the html and put everything in our own butchered way? Even better remember that easy
, Style= ? Hahaha we will make it an object...
O yeah and the state must be immutable objects... What immutable means? Who the fu... I mean its easy...
And we make our own virtual dom because... Fu browsers"
-Facebook developer who hates javascript probably
P.S: thanks vue for keeping the double binding.2 -
So I've recently got into college after programming for years by myself like many guys here, the thing is I was expecting to find some guys like me so maybe we could start some project or something like that but oh boy, freshman software engineer students are the "best": Don't give a fuck about coding. Most of them are gamers who think that just because they're gamers they can make a videogame (hahaha) and the worst part is that the only student of them who already have a lot of experience in programming is so fucking arrogant and annoying that I'd rather change majors before doing a project with him.
There are two other guys who are also really interested in programming and one of them already have quite a lot of experience too but they're on different majors...
College being disappointment since the first month: Check1 -
Took the dive and started learning kubernetes for the last 90 minutes or so. All I can say at this time... is... fuckin' hell m8!
It's some pretty damn cool tech and deconstructing the pieces to understand how to properly build on top of it has been interesting; to say the least.
but shit, man...
the amount of abstractions happening on top of docker/containerd are just asking for tons of problems hahaha. The last place I worked, we had a fair share of devs that either could not or would not bother with trying to understand docker and would constantly push code to the environments, shit would break, and then they'd come to my team and ask us to basically be human log parsers for them... how in the hell my last company is going to fare with trying to roll out kube is beyond me.
tl;dr - kubernetes has a buttload of moving targets and abstracts a metric-fuck-ton of stuff. Last company I worked for is gonna strugglepuff trying to use it. -
FUNNY
Yesterday i was watching the intro videos of Visual Studio Code.
Was interesting to see a Microsoft licensed product using YouTube (Google) and macs (Apple) for demonstrations. Maybe Microsoft learned something about not ignore competitors hahaha6 -
that feeling.
almost stress ball. 100+
then I saw that they increase the difficulty to 150+
why? hahaha
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I just tried the <noun>.js and I had some fun actually:
- pineapple.js
- nipple.js
- blood.js
- porn.js
- puke.js
And the list keeps going on... hahaha3 -
I work in office block, he works in company next to me, was wondering where he been for the last couple hours. Started thinking he weren't in today hahaha.
Can't lie, might jump into the booth next to him 😂😂😂😂
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My team is in charge of an old and huge monolith. Many times we have to write dirty hacks because otherwise we would need to rewrite lots of things just to make even 1 tiny addition.
- When my supervisor makes a hack: "yeah I know it's bad, but it's a shortcut that should temporarily satisfy the business now, we'll fix it later hahaha"
- When I make a hack: "it's a hack, can you not do that?"1 -
The prank happened last 2 years ago. Me and my office mate we love to prank inside the office using our technical skills. One time while our target is on break we took an exact screenshot of his desktop and we manage to hide both cursor and his entire desktop exept the screenshot of his desktop.
After half an hour, the target approach us to fix his issue he restarted the PC multiple times and we laugh so hard because he said his PC keeps hanging or freeze. Hahaha LMAO.
Then after we laugh we reveal that his PC is fine we just replace his desktop with a fake desktop image. He even laugh on our prank hahaha.
Did you prank your office mate the same prank we did? Haha I would advice choose carefully who to prank.7 -
Hey read this. This shit is funny. HAHAHA
I was fixing a bug right. The bug was throwing InverseOfAssociationNotFoundError in our rails admin page when deleting a user. So the director of engineering called and we had an argument because he was insisting that the error InverseOfAssociationNotFoundError is OUR IMPLEMENTATION. HAHAHAHAHA. my goodness. I showed him that the error comes from the constraints when deleting a user. A table has no relation to the user table but my senior added it anyway for some reason. I was mad and laughing at the same time because I showed him the documentation and the simple fix. These idiot keep flexing his 30 years of experience. HAHAHA3 -
So this rant:
https://devrant.com/rants/3969110/...
introduced me to the unicode's "zero width space". Lately I've been using it to cheat on "required" fields in forms. Hahaha thanks!4 -
The client will fuck me if I don't finalize the project, no I will fuck him, let him wait for another year hahaha, I have to live now.1
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It gets flagged as "Android/SpyAgent", i guess they are not wrong hahaha
https://r2.community.samsung.com/t5... -
This is not dev related but oh man after 2.5 years i heard back from them that they apologize and so i apologize them back for being rude. So here goes the story:
It was my first time visiting my father in law's aunt by myself for some specific reason that i forgot (perhaps maybe about fixing her son's motorcycle, but im not sure). Short story, when the job's done i was invited to dinner and they came out about all of their food is organic, i asked why. And they answer they didn't like chemical processed food, then i instantly said somethings like : "well do you put Natrium(Sodium in english) Hydrogen Carbonate in my cake?" And they looked a bit irritated and said "of course not, i wouldn't.why would i poisoned you" And i replied "hahaha i was messing with yall, but yeah i think you put NaHCO3 hahaha" And i instantly got kicked out. And i haven't heard them back until now. And they figured it out it was Baking Powder. It's not directly to me tho, they sent their apologize thru my mom. But still. I haven't laugh a lot for a while 🤣4 -
The problem with our current project is that we're using Spring MVC but we only use hashmap for binding (is binding is a correct term for this?) of data with our mapper (We use Mybatis, and also when we get this source code they already implements this kind of stuff, mvc with no models hahaha) for the sake the code to be consistent.
Maybe after I read the documentation of Mybatis and learn how to implements joins, I'll ask a permission to change the hashmap with actual models. -
!rant
Preface: As it was unpaid labor I won't count my school-internship in a games resell shop in which I was ordered to "program" a BDSM-Shop with MS Frontpage.
My first paid gig was back in 2006. I got booked to write the website of a new company by friends of the family. The problem was that the gig had to happen ~600km away from my home town. Back in 2006 it was far from common to own a laptop for young folks, which is why I packed my Pentium 4 HT "powerhouse" tower, my 15" TFT monitor, keyboard and mouse into a suitcase and took a bus. I not only had to write the website, but had to do all the Frontend and Design as well and was paid 400€. Hahaha what a deal. They are still using my logo btw.
Anyhow... I was like 17yo and the work experience was more valuable then the money anyways. Plus at the time 400€ weren't a bad payment either. After that it took 2 more years and half a dozen of boring jobs until I started earning money with programming again. I can't understand why I haven't started programming earlier. Especially considering the wage gap between the jobs I did and potential programming jobs. Guess you're always smarter afterwards. -
As back end developer, I rarely have hands on production environment. When it happens, I need to ask my way around and since the office is empty that day, I ask the client directly. They give me a URL. Right away, I ask the credentials.
"Just connect to the URL"
"You mean, you have an open access of this software, having critical information of more than 50 000 persons, to the web?"
*Silence* "hahaha it appears that way"
Thankfully, a tactful manager handled the situation astutely and we never heard about it anymore.
Don't we love all happy ending? -
I'm feeling guilty.
I've a lot of fun hearing the flautolence wich comes out from the mouth of my brain farters collegues in my university. I usually fake being a mediocre student who never worked nor programmed anything else except the stupid exercises related to the exams. Yesterday a collegue come out saying: WOAH, YOU'RE USING LINUX!
Good, nice deduction my dear Sherlock.
The best had to come.
The genius decided to mocks me up telling: YOU KNOW IF YOU TYPE sudo rm -rf / IN THE CMD YOU MAKE YOUR COMPUTER FASTER?
Before I processed that he's not serious i answered "no, rm just remov..." and I saw the beaten look in his eyes because the joke misersbly failed. So i proceeded: "hahaha, fun. Anyway i could rm -undo to fix the mess".
As soon i finished the sentence he ran on him laptop and boots up the VM to try... -
A friend wants to post a rant about that devRant doesnt sent him the email confirmation but he can't because his email is not confirmed. Hahaha
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Today I got my plan upgraded for free to unlimited data it's a dream come true and between 12am and 12pm I used 8GB hahaha
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Continuing learning a little bit of Java with sololearn. Definitely hard considering I'm coming from Python hahaha. I'm pretty excited to learn Java though because I've always been interested in the possibilities of the language and of learning OOP3
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when you type in a bunch of jarble to fix your lack of code experience and it ends up actually working some how. (・・;)
Just one of those, I know what makes up a car mostly, but do I really know how to assemble it? hahaha -
Anyone one here played around with CouchDB before or use it for personal projects or work?
At face value, it seems like a pretty good DB, Just wanted to get some idea from people that have used it before if it is actually pretty good.
I'm not a dba and don't know the caveats of DB tuning or management. So I'm in need of a DB with simplicity and easy management in mind Hahaha.
I'm mostly working with data that is either in JSON or hashtable/dictionary format so it felt like a NoSQL DB would be easy-ish to save my data into, plus I don't think (I hope my guess is right here) that I need regular SQL type relations with the data I'm working with.
Please help me with my noob-iness!Thank you! 😄 -
I never got 100 +1 ... and now that has risen to 150 I see that I never take away the stress that I have hahaha. so I had to make my own stress ball, but painted is not the same😔
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