Fresh rant on Monday:

Fuck Monday

When you get a little confused

Congratulate all 😋

Guess who just got the IOS 10 beta preview 🔫😀

(Don't worry, on my screen that's a watergun)

Pretty much.

void walks into a cave
doesn't return

That moment when you teaching your coworkers about vba:
Me: and you close the formula with a curly bracket
Co-worker: Wow that's easy, and you say coding is hard
Me: you're right, here try to learn Java

working on an android app. the guy who wrote it is a complete retard designed it and made it overcomplicated and unmaintainable now no one can change anything without breaking all that shit ... found this comment, someone else tried to do it and failed miserably apparently.

It's the one thing that keeps me sane

I'm not gonna pay that money for it

So I have BiPolar and Borderline Personality Disorder and had an interview today. We'll I slept in and missed it. My psychiatrist recently changed my meds to help stabilize me. Now I'm up for 2-3 days before I sleep. I timed it so I would be awake, but ended up falling asleep and woke up a half hour after I was supposed yo be there. I'm so pissed off right now! I've been working my ass of learning to code, buy my own brain is sabotaging me. I just want to be a normal person with a normal job. I love programming because I get to be by myself and work away from customers. I'm so frustrated and feel beat down. I don't know what yo do. 😠😤😡

When you have a super annoying problem that Google has been unable to help with... But you stumble upon a link with the exact title matching your issue... And clicking on it gives you a 404.

Last year we were given an app to patch that was completely in Arabic (including the documentation). We had a tight deadline to get the app fixed so we paid for a big company to translate the Word document we'd be given.

After 2 weeks we were given the translated documentation only to find it was select recipes from an Egyptian cooking book.

Keep hunting the Bug :)

I honestly work out more bugs while thinking in the shower than I do when I'm at work.

You know you're in bad shape when Google gives you an Experts Exchange answer and Stack Overflow is nowhere in sight.

That moment when the manager takes all the credit for your work

Good idea!

always good for a laugh

One thing I learned is never to ask a bunch of programmers if there is decaf somewhere.

We meet again

when your commit message is longer than the actual change

Acceptance Criteria: it should spin

THIS ONE

*fire alarm in dev office*

- git add
- git commit
- git push
- flee to safety

This is Spork. Spork lives on the desk in my apartment.

My girlfriend bought the plant for her office but he wasn't getting enough light there so now he has a better home on my desk and gets lots of sunlight during the day.

When a newb asks you 'what's the difference between git and github?' rhetorically ask them 'What's the difference between porn and pornhub?'

Oh no weekend come back, please come back

What's your internet speed? 😀

When you find 7 years old website made while you were 14 yo.