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-
Today I presented a client with their new website.
Feedback from the owner was "I fucking love it".
Got a cash bonus and a bottle of champagne before leaving.
Today was a good day!21 -
Boss: I need to demo our product but it looks smaller on my laptop.
Me: That is because you have a 1920x1080 monitor and your laptop is 1280x800
Boss: Is that something you can fix?
Me: No you will need a new laptop, but the company has a sales laptop with that resolution.
Boss: No just get the company credit card and buy me one today!
*Bosses son hears*
Bosses Son: Here take the sales laptop
Boss: Will that be quick enough
Bosses Son: It has a 8 core i7 Processor, 16GB ram and a dedicated GPU
Boss: *looks at me confused*
Me: Your demoing a web browser, that will be more then ok. But were using chrome so 16GB of ram will be pushing it.
*me and bosses son laughs*
Boss: Can we upgrade it?16 -
Best Valentine’s Day present ever! She knows me so well. This will be VERY useful in work.
Thanks @Number0, love you
10 -
Took a leave from office citing valentine's day and now I am sitting at home working on my personal project.
Yaaaayyyyy....
11 -
I am feeling nerdier than ever.
Today is:
- PI day
- Einstein birthday
- Stephen Hawking died today
- My birthday26 -
Happy today! 13th of September. The 256th day of the Year, that equals to 11111111 in Binary. Finally, Happy Programmer’s Day, The people who Dev & Rant 😍🤗🎂
7 -
I had just started my new job and deleted 3 years of data that the client had spent over £450,000 collecting 😱
another developer used my PC to quickly access the clients database while I was out the room as I had sql management studio open. I went back to my PC thinking I was connected to my local database, did a few truncate tables to test my software and :0 minutes later I get a call asking why there was no data on the server!
Thank god for backups 😓8 -
Ladies and Gentlemen I've upgraded from being lonely to In a relationship
'Cause I finally found the girl of my dreams. 💑
HaHa April Fool's Day 😂😂
Ouch!6 -
At middle school they kept on banning the flash game sites so I made one my self but it was called something like mathhomework.somefreehost.com, the landing page looked like a homework site and all the flash games were called something like problem_1.swf. I use to sell logins to class mates at like £2.50.3
-
5th June is World "Environment" Day..
Reaction of Software Engineer -
Which one? Dev, Test or Prod?
😂😂3 -
Today was Mother's Day. Everybody was posting their photos with their mothers, so I had to stay away from social networks for today to not feel sad.
It's been almost a year without mine, really miss her.
I love her, and I never showed her how much. I've not been the best son a mother could have, I'm so sorry for that. She thought me how to be strong, she was the strongest, but I'm feeling so weak now without her.
Please never miss a chance to let your mother know how much you love her, give her a hug whenever you can, talk to her every time you need somebody to talk to, listen to her stories from when she was your age. She's the most precious person you'll ever have in your life. I realized that when it was too late, don't make my mistake.
I miss you mum ❤8 -
My work mate just sent this, it made me feel better:
"If you ever have a day when you fucked up badly, made a huge mistake and you feel like a total kluts, click this link: https://google.com/maps/... and feel happy in that you didn’t fuck up bad enough for it to show on google earth!"
😇
11 -
F***ing windows, spent ages repairing a database table only for windows to bloody BSOD at 97% complete 😡1
-
Gets email from work
"New password policy introduced from next month
Passwords will have to include:
- a capital
- a lower case
- a number
- a symbol
- be at least 8 characters
Passwords will be be changed every 60 days with a new password not previously used"
Everyone starts moaning, there I am laughing as I'm in Linux and off their domain controller, and my windows laptop is a BYOD laptop and they don't want it on the domain :D27 -
This Valentine's day
I am gonna make a commitment
To learning Ruby
I don't have a girlfriend though...😕
11 -
Happy international cat day, everybody!
And a nice day to every sysadmin out there, hopefully not too catty.
5 -
After 5 years of neglect I have finaly found some time to work on an old project of mine.
Not a bad view to work from either
12 -
I hope today will be good day because it started good:
dfox++ your rant ☑
My server started to work ☑
Build android boot image on first try ☑
Fix dependency issues on my Linux tablet ☑
More to come today ☑☑☑☑☑☑☑6 -
To all my friends here, happy teacher's day!
I have learned so much after joining this community.
Taking names would be unfair as each and every single one of you have taught me something which I didn't knew.
Thank you!18 -
"So we have 20GB of data, we need to show ALL of it on the graph ... oh yea it needs to work on mobile"8
-
So I dropped out from University after 5 years because I was fed up with it, took a look at the job market, found something interesting, applied for it and got it. Now I'm here on my first day, sitting on the toilet, scrolling through DevRant.
Life is good.12 -
God virgin media are useless:
Me: “hello how long is left in my contract”
VM: “you have three months left, may I ask why”
Me: “this is now the 3rd day in two weeks I have had no broadband I’m looking to swap to someone more reliable”
VM: “ I’m sorry to hear that I’ll check our system to see what I can do for you”
2 mins on hold
VM: “hello mr day we can offer you a special offer of doubling your internet speed for only £5 a month”
Me: “how does that help with the fact I have no internet”
VM: “well it won’t but we have an engineer looking at the problem and we estimate it will be fixed by 17:05”
Me: “thanks but no thanks, what’s the early exit fee”
😡🤬😡9 -
So 10 months ago i moved from Cambridge (UK) to Guildford (UK), due to moving this distance i started working from home and going into the office once a week.
Now after 10 months i have finally got my home office how i first imagined it. Everything runs from my laptop which is located on the shelving unit away from my desk. Everything plugs into it via 1 USB lead.
Setup:
27" 2560 x 1440 monitor flanked by two 1280 x 1024 monitors.
Asus Laptop (i5-6300HQ, 12GB ram, 512GB SSD + 1TB HDD)
Home PC (i5-7600, 8GB ram, GTX 770)
Accessories:
StarTech USB hub - This allows me to plug my three monitors, keyboards, mouse and everything else into my laptop.
KVM switch - Allows me to swap between my Work PC and Home PC with a click of a button
14 -
A mate couldn't remember a IP address so asked me to make him a domain to make it easier for him. His new domain is xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx.somewebsite.com (xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx is the IP)4
-
Finally got myself setup in my new office today, before there was three of us cramped into a tiny 3mx4m office, now only two of us in a much larger office.
6 -
It was about 10 at night I thought I was the only one at work. I had my favourite music playlist on, there I was singing and dancing to the music with my headphones on.
With me sitting in a position not seeing the door, my boss and a client walked in and was in hysterics laughing at me 😂2 -
So after being in this role for 4 years we have finally got to the point where there are 0 outstanding bugs/issues with our software.10
-
The 256th day of every year is celebrated as Programmers’ Day.
Interestingly, 256 is the highest power of two that is less than 365.
It falls on September 13 during common years and September 12 in leap years.
This day is an international professional day recognized in many companies and organizations.
It’s even officially recognized in Russia as the “Day of the Programmer.”
3 -
Windows: You have low power (5% = like 5 mins)
Me: Goes to shit down
Windows: You can only shut down if you update
Me: I'm not risking that *holds power button down and smothers it to death*18 -
Tech support to family member:
Mom: "App just goes black after 30 seconds"
Me: "remove it and install again"
Mom: "how?"
Me: "tap the icon and hold till icon wiggles"
Mom: "doesn't do anything"
Me: "did you tap and hold?"
Mom: "hold what?"
Me:"Tap and and don't pull your finger up"
Mom: "Nothing... oh wait, yes it jiggles"
Me: "lift finger, tap the x that appeared on the icon, follow instructions"
Mom: "ok did that so what do I do now?"
Me: Grrrrrrrrr
Mom: "ok it's deleted"
Me: "Go to app store, and search for the app. after you tap the appstore icon, in a moment or so you should see a magnifying glass icon with the word search, tap that"
Mom: "nope no magnifying glass"
Me: ggrrrrrrr "yes their is one"
Mom: "nope"
Me: "yep"
Mom: "nope, it isn't their, I'M NOT STUPID YOU KNOW JUST BECAUSE I'M OLD!!! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS THINK I'M SO STUPID? THERE IS NO MAGNIFYING GLASS!!!"
Me: Deep, deep deep breath to the point of bursting my lungs (which is the preferable outcome)
Me: "top right corner or bottom right corner"
Mom: silence.... a few crickets in the background then some giggles followed with "Oh yea, their it is "....
20 minute call. no hi, how are you, how's your day. Just hello, I have a problem, it's fixed, bye.
Sometimes, and I don't want to sound mean BUT I wish we could pick our family.....10 -
Believe me I didn't code today... full day with my daughter... video recording for her youtube channel... science experiments... castle... and .. and ...8
-
*suddenly wakes up thinking I'm late for work*
*Realises it's a holiday*
*Goes back to sleep again*
PS: Sadly this happens every other day of week :/2 -
I had a 6 hour flight home so thought I would do some coding. We take off, get to cruising altitude, I get my laptop out and boom windows update. It's like they know the most inconvenient time possible FML
3 -
For about 6 months when I started coding php I didn't think indentation was worth it so all of my files were like
}
}
}
}
}7 -
My Father's day gift from my wife. 😁
Should make my application development a little more badass as I drink from it.
\m/
2 -
So today was the worst day of my whole (just started) career.
We have a huge client like 700k users. Two weeks ago we migrated all their services to our aws infrastructure. I basically did most of the work because I'm the most skilled in it (not sure anymore).
Today I discovered:
- Mail cron was configured the wrong way so 3000 emails where waiting to be sent.
- The elastic search service wasn't yet whitelisted so didn't work for two weeks.
- The cron which syncs data between production db en testing db only partly worked.
Just fucking end me. Makes me wonder what other things are broken. I still have a lot to learn... And I might have fucked their trust in me for a bit.13 -
I swear I work with mentally deranged lunatics.
Dev is/was using TFS's web api to read some config stuff..
Ralph: "Ugh..this is driving me crazy. I've spent all day trying to read this string from TFS and it is not working"
Me: "Um, reading a string from an web api is pretty easy, what's the problem?"
Ralph: "I'm executing the call in a 'using' statement and cannot return the stream."
Me: "Why do you need to return a stream? Return the object you are looking for."
Ralph: "Its not that easy. You can return anything from TFS. All you get back is a stream. Could be XML, JSON, text file, image, anything."
Me: "What are you trying to return?"
Ralph: "XML config. If I use XDoc, the stream works fine, but when I step into each byte from the stream, I the first three bytes have weird characters. I shouldn't have to skip the first three bytes to get the data. I spent maybe 5 hours yesterday digging around the .Net stream readers used in XDoc trying to figure out how it skips the first few bytes."
Me: "Wow...I would have used XDoc and been done and not worried about that other junk."
Ralph: "But I don't know the stream is XML. That's what I need to figure out."
Me: "What is there to figure out? You do know. Its your request. You are requesting a XML config."
Ralph: "No, the request can be anything. What if Sam requests an image? XDoc isn't going to work."
Me: "Is that a use-case? Sam requesting an image?"
Ralph: "Uh..I don't know...he could"
Me: "Sounds like your spending a lot of time doing premature optimization. You know what your accessing TFS for, if it's XML, return XML. If it's an image, return an image. Something new comes along, modify the code to handle it. Eazy peezy."
<boss walks in from a meeting>
Boss: "Whats up guys?"
Ralph: "You know the problem with TFS and not being able to stream the data I had all day yesterday? I finally figured it out. I need to keep this TFS reader simple. I'll start with the XML configs and if we more readers later, we can add them."
Boss: "Oh yea, always start simple and add complexity only when you need it."
Frack...Frack..Frack...you played some victim complaining to anyone who would listen yesterday (which I mostly ignored) about reading data from TFS was this monumental problem no one could solve, then you start complaining to me, I don't fall for the BS, then tell the boss the solution was your idea?
Lunatic or genius? Wally would be proud.
4 -
I stared at the errors with the hope that they would go away. And my friend did this.
Now the errors are gone.
Bad day
8 -
Work: there is little work for our freelancer we're getting rid of him at the end of the year
Me: are you sure, that will put a lot of work on my schedule.
Work: I'm sure you can handle it
*two weeks later*
Work: have you finished feature xyz yet
Me: nope had a server crash today so pushed it back
Work: why didn't you get "free lancers name here" to do it for you
Me: I could of if you didn't fire him, he could of also done the other features you want too
Work: ah ok1 -
Love reading through old code and seeing things like this
var hasFailed = (errors.length > 0)?true:false;
Makes you wonder what their thought process was when writing it :D5 -
Sales: We NEED to view the minutely data but showing 10 years of data at a time
Me: you do realise that would be like 2 days of data per pixel even on one of largest monitor resolutions
Sales: your a clever guy I'm sure you can work something out
Me: well I can consolidate the data so you ...
Sales: No we need to see the temperature for every minute11 -
!rant, but you're my friends and I want to share my day...
We've had a problem open since last March (before I started), but our teams identified the issue with the customer's code 2 years ago. No one made progress on it until I took it over. The newest version deployed 3 months ago and has no memory leak. I closed out oldest problem today.
On a personal note, I got quotes for my dj and photographer for my wedding next month, and the price for both is what I would've been willing to pay for one. My wedding was supposed to be very inexpensive, with these and my bartender being the most expensive parts, but due to unfortunate events, my wedding is 4x the cost (have to use a venue, backyard unavailable, which changes ALL my plans).4 -
I FUCKING HATE IT when you have a free day and you are so happy about it, because you can work on your projects, study things you want
BUT NOO
you sleep a little bit longer, wake up
And suddenly you find out that you need to go to the other fucking side of the city in 3 hours and spend there half of the day.
FUCK
There goes my free day...5 -
Reviewing bosses code and had these two if statements with no logic between
if (someVar) {
if (someVar) { // double check someVar is true just in case
}
}7 -
How can a person, who spends most of his time on a laptop can possibly have a valentine? 😎
Anyways, Happy valentines day!!2 -
So I'm just finding out, today is Ada Lovelace day. I didnt realize Ada had a day dedicated to her. Today is gonna be only programming! I'm dedicating this shit code to her!1
-
I just found this bit of code in our product :P
setInterval(function () {
$("body").find("div, td").replaceText("oldProductName", "newProductName" );
}, 50);10 -
So the CEO called me down about a super urgent bug that needs to be fixed or we will loose several hundred thousand pounds of business.
I rush down to his office and there he has a graph "look the values are barely moving i would expect the values to be more erratic this time of day"
*i look at the graph*
"Errrr your looking at 02:00 in the morning, it's 14:00"
Boss: ahh good spot *looks at 14:00* yea that looks good, great job.5 -
Started work on redeveloping a module for our system, I look at the database document and see two fields, one for date and one for time. Both are full date time and the data is stored like so:
Date I want to store: 2016-04-09 05:54:00
Date: 2016-04-09 00:00:00
Time: 1899-01-01 05:54:003 -
I just installed some anti-virus, little did i know it was also going to install their 'System "Speed up" software'
Was using 50% of my Disk Usage 40% of my ram and 100% of one of my CPUs ... great job at speeding up my system4 -
Boy do I love when Snapchat sends me a snap telling me happy father's day.
I don't even know who my father is but thanks for the reminder assholes.
I wonder what dipshit thought that sending everyone on Snapchat messages during all sorts of holidays that not everyone celebrates was a good idea.9 -
As a programmer you know it's going to be a glorious day when you have been getting an error for two days straight and on the third day it's different.
Ooo sweet glory.4 -
var date = new Date();
var month = date.getMonth();
console.log(month); // 2
who thought it would be a good idea to start the months of at 0 rather then 112 -
1. high severity production incident was asked to look into at the end of the day.
2. needed fix in ui.
3. fixed and deployed in 1 hour.
4. issue remained. debugging began.
5. gave up at 1 AM and went to sleep.
6. woke up at 6 and after debugging for 2 hours, identified to be a back end issue.
7. worked with back end team for the fix, and 6 hours and 3 deployments later, it worked.
8. third party vendor reported they are still not receiving one parameter from us.
9. back end team realised they forgot to ask ui to send another parameter.
10. added the parameter in ui, redeployed ui.
11. build and deployment tool broke down. got it fixed. delay of 1.5 hours.
12. finally things are in place. total time 26 hours.
13. found half bottle of vodka, leftover from last weekend. *Priceless*1 -
So someone wants me to sign a NDA so they can use my open source software (MIT licence) in there software.
They also NEED to minify there php to save on storage and to boost performance. 😂1 -
Now I have checked
Twitter
Instagram
InterNations
LinkedIn
Telegram
Reddit
devRant
It's time to seize the day4 -
Spec'ing out a data analysis tool for several billion transactions and I got this when sending the final spec to the client.
Client: "I don't see why it takes so long, I downloaded this template from theme forest and edited it in dreamweaver, it only took 3 hours"2 -
So just caught two colleagues playing quake arena. Once the boss has a day off...
Of course i will join them now! Happy friday everyone 😄 -
Sorry fellow dev from another company, we really appreciated your help even though it was your free day. There is little chance you are also on devRant, but if you are we cant thank you enough debugging the dll provided by you and even supplying us with a dev version in which you made some changes for us to perform some extra tests. The changes looks promising as far as we have seen for now.
This might save our asses. -
When you look at some production code that has been released for 4 years and find a HUGE security, like catastrophic here is my server hack me flaw 😁4
-
Today I decided to quit my job as a web developer.
And so I did..
NOT!
April fools. I'm still working all day without time to do or learn new things.2 -
So last week I ranted about the hours I was working, great start this week I'm up at 03:00 to go up north, not going to get back till 20:00 ish. Tomorrow I have to be in Wales for 09:00 so going to have to be up at 04:00 for a 5 hour travel time. Check my emails and my boss says after I get back from Wales tomorrow can we have a design and specification meeting about a "super urgent" product that we have to develop. Oh and Thursday I have to prep everything for going live with a new product Friday.8
-
!Dev
Fuck that day, honestly. Today during my driving lesson I was a witness of a car crash literally 5 meters in front of me (the older man cut the road of other guy, that other guy hit the old man's car and old man has hit the lamp post. Good thing no was injured, except of few bumpers, car doors and lamp).
The train which was supposed to take me back to Leiden was 10 minutes late, so I couldn't catch the earlier bus.
When I got off the train, went to catch a next bus, there was huge crowd outside, because police was taking care of the suspicious bag left in front of the train station (pic). Lots of cop, lots of people. Fortunately that wasn't a bomb.
The only positive thing was that I helped some nice Hindi guy find his bus 😁
26 -
So we decided to use Monday evenings as a development night for our game, we are currently down the pub enjoying the sun. Maybe next Monday1
-
!rant
Does anyone have an idea about a nice goodbye message to write on cakes for my last day on my summer job?
Requirements:
- Should be short enough so I can write it with a choco pen on 20 cakes of about 10cm each.
- Should be about me leaving (I worked on a terminal application in qt c++)
- Should have something to do with programming17 -
The perfect valentines day gift. Suitable for late night coding and chill. Doritos roses sold out online, so my husband made this one himself! 👌
1 -
So we're looking for a new developer, my boss sends me an email with a subject "Intresting CV". It was for a office clerk who altered a Wordpress website for the company they use to work for
-
I didn't realise it was valentine's day until I saw all the anti-valentine's day posts and posts of people declaring their pc as their valentine. oh devrant 😅.2
-
People delivering flowers to the office, guy walks in with a massive set in a huge case, delivery guy says:
Either he is setting the bar really high, or he's in trouble. Here I am, at my desk, just being the only single person in my office. Writing a SQL proc for the same report I have been working on for the last month. Happy single awareness day everyone.3 -
First day as logistic administrator and already in need of this ribbon in excel... (was not included as a skill needed or to be known.) Let's do some after work VBA I guess.
5 -
Fuck today. I don't feel like doing shit. I just wanna stay home and watch jojo all day and not have to worry about the lil bullshit we got pending.11
-
Well today is my last day at my current job. I have enjoyed the last 4 and a half years here and learned a lot.
This last week of my notice period has been surreal though and quiet a stark contrast to how things have been.
Before I was the "go to" person for pretty much the entire dev team even though I am hired as a front end dev (so my remit was the companies website). This included the backend devs who worked on the internal business software.
The last few days have felt like I was a "persona non-grata". Conversations that would end up being held at my desk are now held elsewhere and what few tickets I do have have been given over to others.
I knew on some level this would happen but living through it is a different story.
Anyhow, I am looking forward to the new role I am starting Monday but will certainly miss the old team very much!4 -
Programmers life reaching final day! [Spanish comic] [Don't need to know Spanish to understand] it only say the day of the weeks... you gotta understand
-
about 6 years ago I was working for a large consulting company on a government project. I put in a change for a stored procedure that hard coded the partition to 0, except 0 didn't exist on production, just on test. several thousand government employees couldn't access it for a day. 😞
-
My boss had a 50 page word document where he add any bugs he has found (he likes to test before it goes to QA) we then have to read that document for any changes (hi-lighted in blue) then add them to our bug tracking system. Any updates that are made on the ticket we have to add to the word document.
We tried letting him use our bug tracking tool but he hated using it as the padding on the navigation links was too big. We would have to redesign the 3rd party tool just for him4 -
TLDR: There's some days where the Gods of IT are not with you. Just lost a whole day of work.
So this morning, we (me and my team) big performance issues with our web app. Lot's of requests time out, big latency, etc
Try to ssh to VPS, latency of 10 seconds between user input and output.
Usual checks: RAM ok, Proc ok, hard drive ok, reboot server (20 minutes), update/upgrade
We decide to call OVH. After 15 minutes call, we try to reboot in rescue mode. Reboot fails at 60% + everything freezes.
After an hour, OVH opens an incident ticket on +200 vps instances (including mine) everything is down during +1h
Finally everything is okay ! Even had time to migrate my new database schema.
Still, quick heavy on the mind but feels good to go home with everything working out correctly
-
Do any other devs here have serious entrepreneurial ambitions and the drive to achieve them?
How do you manage the conflict between your day job and your ambitions.
I find every employer is looking for someone with just enough ambition to “move up” in their company but any ambition of your own outside that seems to come off as threatening.
I try to keep the 2 separate but I have always thought that by not wanting people with actual ambition a company is only hurting themselves.
Thoughts?19 -
A few days ago PM started asking me once a day when we will have fixed an error he saw at customer site.
I always tell him that it is not a software error, just missing data. I try to explain the issue and that the root cause is the incomplete data given by the customer.
Then he says he will talk with the data import guys if they can fix something and I tell him that from my point of view the data import is fine, but the customer has to provide a full dataset and the "error" will vanish immediately.
He walks to the data import colleague anyway and gets told that everything is ok with the import.
Next day he appears at my desk to tell me that the import seems ok and asks me how we could fix the error and I tell him that it's not a software issue, try to explain it...
I wonder how long he will keep up on it.3 -
Was in a meeting with the execs and the boss singles me out and asks me where is this functionality at. I told him the dev working on it will have it ready today. He goes no no no this needs to happen now. I am speechless have no idea how to tell him this employees are working very hard and is doing the very best with the limited time we had. I personally was up at midnight coding to deliver on time. That was the start of my bad day ... crap just pilled on :/1
-
I know functional programming is hip now, but I wonder if I'll ever see a day when it's considered cutting edge to make every variable global. Possible twilight zone episode?6
-
@dfox i have a devRant Idea.
Achievements - Kind of like Xbox achievements etc ...
For example: (Bronze, Silver, Gold, Platinum)
Total Likes: 2k, 5k, 10k, 25k
Likes On a post: 100, 250, 500, 1000
Likes on a comment: 10, 25, 50, 100
Total Rants: 15, 50, 100, 500
Total Comments: 50, 150, 400, 1000
Weekly Rant: Top 10, Top 5, Top 3, Number 1
Monthly Rant (most popular rants that month): Top 10, Top 5, Top 3, Number 14 -
Friend of mine had a perfect day today:
It's 3am, you're coding hard, can't even see properly, but you know only a two or three proper lines and you are finished. A few minutes later you set your pc to hibernate because you can't go further and go to sleep.
In the morning/noon you log in, see only a mess. Half of the new variables are probably obfuscated or in some alien language because you can't read that shit and a cherry on the top - 1/4 of a _big_ test suite reports errors. What a lovely day. -
*sigh* woke up did a data export for the customer, send it to them then they reply "thanks but it's next weekend we wanted the data export not this one" checked the email and they were correct.
-
!rant
Just thought I would share a really cool tool I found when writing my documentation in markdown.
Check out https://typora.io its a markdown editor that is easy to use :)4 -
Having to pay a "Setup fee" for your hosting that you have had for the last 3 years ... what do they need to setup 🙄2
-
Ran out of mobile data, go to top it up and it's £3.00 for 100MB or £9 for 1GB ... I'll just wait 3 days with no internet13
-
So I'm called down to the office the other day for a meeting, I get there and my boss says "hi this is John Doe he has applied for the developer role, can you give him the technical interview" had no time to prep, my boss didn't even give me a copy of his CV4
-
As many of you are, I am too a 24/7 IT support for the whole family.
One time I was going back to uni for the week on a bus when my mom calls that her facebook is acting wierd. You guessed it, it was a virus. Then after 10 minutes of struggling I asked my sister to take the phone because she would understand the technial terms more easily and I didn't have mobile net or wifi at the time to use teamviewer. After 10 more minutes the virus was gone and I explained what happened and what not to do next time.
Later that day her friends got the same virus and my mother proudly told them that she already gotten rid of it and helped them remove it too.2 -
Hey if you want something to make you feel better on Valentine's Day, do a google image search of photoshopped girlfriends/boyfriends. I laugh so hard I tear up every time.
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So Friday evening decided to "Update and Shut Down" my window 10 laptop.
I come in Monday morning and turn it on ... "Working on updates" So far its been 15 mins and its 27%.
Oh and my other laptop at home decided to restart itself and apply updates and stayed at "Applying Update 100%" for 35 minutes, luckily i was able to watch Glastonbury via my Xbox as my GF would not of been happy missing Ed Shearan :P
How hard would it be for MS to say "Look this update is going to take 45 minutes, do you want to wait"3 -
Went for a job interview and they used spaces rather then tabs!!! Walked straight out of there!
(^ Sarcasm it really doesn't bother me as it's just a setting on my ide)1 -
We make a small server product with a web based admin system, as we were going to have limited customers who will use this (usually just the engineers) and this was not on the www. We dropped all support for all browsers other then chrome/firefox. No more IE/safari bugs for us XD2
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Just found this great JQuery selector in a bit of code a freelancer wrote:
var showErrorFor = $('[name="newPass"]').attr('name')6 -
While we mourn this dark future of the internet, let it not hamper International Developer Day!
Happy Day of the Programmer Devrant!
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/...3 -
me right now:
while (me.onHoliday) {
wisdomTooth.x--;
wisdomTooth.y++;
me.ingest(new Painkillers());
}
My first proper holiday in several years, swear my body won't let itself rest!1 -
Okay, so yesterday was crazy. So crazy, in fact, that I'm not even typing this on my phone. I'm typing it on an LG G4.
So, I took an Uber out to a Sprint store I'd been told did repairs. My phone's vibrator was broken. So, basically I thought just like that R&M episode "20 minutes adventure in and out" - only to find out they'd need to wipe my goddamn phone, and then send it to Texas. I now have to wait 6 days for my phone lmfao.
So, in the meantime, they took an hour to get me this G4 which makes me miss all the finer things in life - I miss my USB-C and not having to give a damn about how I plug it in and I miss my fingerprint reader (I know, I'm a lazy fuck with first-world problems. I don't care to hear about how fucking stupid I am for either of those thoughts, STFU). Also the G4 is prone to hardware failures, so they said they weren't too happy about giving me this, but it's the only one with NFC.
So in the middle of setup, the Sprint store's power went out. FUUUUUUCK. The phone was pretty much at 5% battery and was being slow as hell, so you can just about imagine the irritation me and this guy had when the phone died in the middle of setup.
The next thing is an unrelated story, but I'm sure some of you older guys here will love this. I was at a place called Triangle Park last night. I go there for burgers, but they also have a bar. Sometimes I get sent to the bar and the bartender gets me my food. So last night I went to pick the food up from the bar for takeout.
The bartender must've had an accident and messed something up, so she told me to sit at the bar. I thought it was obvious I was only 19, so I barely sat. I'm literally not old enough to sit at the bar, even though when I was younger my dad and his friends used to let me sit with them because I had a history of saying stupid shit that made his friends laugh. Nonetheless, I sat with my ass hanging off the edge because I knew it was wrong :/
She comes back and asks what type of drink I want. I had to tell her that I was 19. I wasn't gonna sit here and lie because I'm pretty sure she could've lost her job for serving a minor. I exited and waited in the lobby.
But are we at the point where 19-year-olds look like 25-year-olds? I don't want to think about this because it means I'm getting older. That's a lot to take in. Later in the night it was still gnawing at my gut.
Yesterday was one hella day man.5 -
"Today was a good day, I didn't have to context switch between three different frameworks." -- Ice Cube2
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I was at a car boot sale (mix between a flea market and yard sale for the Americans out there) the stall next to me was selling a PC tower, monitor, keyboard and mouse for £10. So all day I was trying to sell my old toys (I was 9 at the time) but only made £5.
At the end of the day I went to the stall and asked if he would take £5 for it, he then game me it for free as he saw me trying to sell my toys all day.1 -
Just sitting around waiting for a 220GB Database to import, if I had a spare PCI-E port I could have used a 240GB NVMe PCIe SSD but now I have to use an old Seagate 500gb HHD. Gonna be a while.5
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boss: hi! how is your first day off?
me: hello boss, is great!
boss: that is cool, look, we have an issue here in the office, could you join to a Skype meeting right now?
me: ...1 -
Confession of the day:
- I uninstalled all dark themes from Visual Studio, I just love the light theme!5 -
Working on a very large project that has been going on for 6 months and will run for 18 more.
The day before our bimonthly meeting with the client the PM decides to walk out and quit without telling anyone. Now we're left to try and figure out what he was doing, as most of it was poorly documented it's gona be a pain.1 -
So today (as of 5 min ago) marks a great day for my personal projects! I just got my embedded systems Flash memory driver debugging on my PC in Visual Studio, talking directly to the REAL flash chip, WITHOUT being tied to a embedded target! It's glorious. I can finally debug and write tons of tests without having to worry about the constraints of my embedded system. Ahhh. All the pieces I've needed to build this have slowly come together over weekends, and it feels so good to have this tool in my arsenal now! Great day indeed.
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Was just thinking that there should be a Developer day... I look it up online, and there is.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/... -
So I can't get 2G where I live, like 1 mile away from a telephone mast yet I'm in the middle of the Wales country side and I have 4G1
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I was reminded today why I love programming, starting out HTML 5, MVC in asp.net
Created my display table, was about to look into searching, sorting etc then found MVC Grid.
Everyday is a school day.2 -
A programme I have to maintain (and not allowed to optimise or change):
1) read input from serial connection
2) store data in MySQL database
3) every day convert to CSV
4) store on Windows file share
5) process CSV in access 2000
6) store in MsSQL database
When it was first developed, I said to te developer to store it straight from serial to MsSQL but out boss wanted it to follow the above spec.
He has now left and I have to maintain it1 -
<?php
define("NOW", date("Y-m-d H:i:s", time());
/* ..... more code ..... */
$nowUnix = strtotime(NOW);1 -
So i was talking to my brother about our internet and he says "i'm glad we don't have issues with this router with it disconnecting or anything"
Couple hours later router is having issues after a restarting connecting to the internet.
Why'd ya got summon the boxing day jynx bro, why D: -
Today I hosted the family meeting for Easter Day. I had an "Error 404" because a relative didn't come.1
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Made a node program that connects to a development board (like a raspberry pi) via rs232 and installs an image automatically.
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So I'm a "Web Application Developer" but I have to go out on site whilst a trained engineer sits in the office doing nothing. Everything I can do on site I can do from my office with teamviewer. Hit the M25 at 09:00 and will hit it again at 17:00 ... not a fun day2
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Started work at 05:00 to catch a flight, just finished work now (20:00)
Tomorrow morning i have to be up at 03:30 to catch a flight back, my boss has also booked me in with a all day meeting with our largest client tomorrow so won't be leaving the office until 18:00.
Atleast im going to the midnight viewing of Capt. America tomorrow (if I'm awake)3 -
So here I am among people like Brian Cox, Richard Dawkins, Chris Hartfield and Bill Nye (the science guy) at Asteroid Day, broadcast from Luxembourg (Peter Gabriel is announced but it's still unclear if he'll be here in person or via Skype)! And as a very shy boy, I really have to control myself to mute the anxiety that tries to make me cry and puke 😅. But also, I'm very excited and happy to be here!
You can see a live stream on https://www.asteroidday.org if you're interested in space and asteroids. That's very interesting!
3 -
Today is the birthday of Sir M. Visvesvaraya, one of the greatest engineers of all time. In India, we celebrate his birthday as Engineers' day. Happy Engineers' day to all engineers here!1
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I'm trying to investigate why chrome keeps crashing after i implemented web sockets to a web app.
I used windows perfmon to see the memory usage over night.
The usage between 17:30 and 01:50 is expected behaviour as this part of the app is a live data graph of the last 48 hours.
Now i have to find out why the app doubles in memory twice in a hour.
3 -
Here is mine.
So I have been working on a project for 2 months now at my company. Briefly, I describe it as the WordPress of the surveys (create, edit, share, tons of features). Last day, I had to implement one last feature in order to make everything working and as similar as possible with the final product. I had 10 minutes to do it (had to go home) and I was like "Tomorrow bro". Believe it or not, 10 minutes was what it took me to end this fckin' project, and go home on time like "Good job Man, relax it's friday now" :)
Thanks for reading ! -
This is the one of the best day of my last 2 years struggle.
I got my devRant stickers and
BIG NEWS I got interview call from a company that I really wanted to work for.
Wish me luck !
Fingers crossed !
2 -
Client Of The Day : Hi, I would like to have a website. I went to an agency but are too expensive for me. Can you do me this website for less than €150 ($170) ?
Me : -_-
So, question. What is your minimum for a freelance assignment ?5 -
On holiday skiing in France and all I can hear as I come down the mountain is the ring tone I assign all work related contacts.
Get to lunch and see 10 missed calls ... I will be saying "I had no signal on the mountain" a lot when I get back -
did anyone else who didn't take the day off have one heck of a busy day today? since yesterday everyone was off (Ascension day), it got super busy with me today
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When your forced to change your "Development Process" on a weekly basis because everyone has a better idea
4 -
So glad i moved from a desktop PC to a laptop for development. I still have 2 workstations (one at home and one at work) with 3 screens, mechanical keyboard + mouse. But if i ever have to demo to a client/PM i just un-dock and take my laptop to them. Plus if the office is loud i just go to another room.1
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It sucks big time when you've put in days and nights on a particular project and later face flak for not delivering it on time. What can I do that it took time 🤷🏾♂️
I did not purposely intend to lose business hours, I only want to do my work properly with the full (or atleast some) knowledge of what I'm doing !
Guess I just had a Bad day 😅9 -
Latest bug from our testing Department.
They think it may be a database issue why they can't save 0.00 degrees
5 -
PROBLEM:
We need to log out phone calls in and outlet of the company
How we wanted to do it:
Use node.js to read the serial port from the phone system then store the data into the MsSQL database
Eventual solution:
1) Read serial port
2) store in local MySQL database
3) every 3 minutes create a CSV file containing the last 3 minutes of calls and store on a Windows shared directory
4) have a access 2000 programme collect these files every 30 minutes
5) insert into MsSQL database1 -
Today shall be a good day, took a day of annual leave. It's sunny and I intend not touching my laptop.1
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PC desktop at work is failing, so i had to take my personal laptop last week. Almost lost a working day because of that ..
Took the desktop home to try and repair it on the free day, but for now i can't even plug it on one of my different home monitors ..
Gonna be fun !7 -
Last day on my first job where I stayed for a year. I really enjoyed it, loved the team, we were always laughing and making jokes, even in the worst moments.
Had a leader who became a friend, I made some good friends in there.
But I was really unmotivated as a dev, we maintained a really old and complex software, with a poor infrastructure for the dev team.
The manager was a great guy, but couldn't handle much pressure, saw him about 3-4 times quarreling with someone when he should be talking with the team to solve the problem.
But as I said, he is a great guy.
Today the whole team will be making a happy hour as my farewell party. I love this guys.
After that, on monday, I'll be joining a new company, working with a whole new stack, studying a lot for this new challenge.3 -
🎶Today was a good day🎶
I finally got around to doing a task I'd had on my list for months
Plus: it's open source too!
https://github.com/muya/... -
It's the first day of school and they try to make an entertaining segment on TV.
There has been a lot of controversy whether electronic books should replace paper ones.
They ask a mother about her opinion on electronic books:
Her: I myself like the idea of lighter school bags a lot. But yesterday I tried to open one of the books on my perfectly working laptop, and it was all white. I tried to zoom but nothing changed...
People are simply not ready for that much technology in their lifes. Teachers also can't use the technology to its full potential. They have been teaching the same thing the same way for tens of years, they'll always fallback to their old methods1 -
As a web developer i've never been able to use this as an excuse but now i can use the fact im compiling code as a reason for doing nothing. :P1
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Class normal people:
Def good day:
"Manager was out, had great lunch, got a. special someone's number, successfully avoided traffic, got in special someone's pants"
Def bad day:
"Stubbed toe this morning, rained all day, broke up w. special someone, sat in traffic for 2 hrs"
Class software dev:
Def good day:
"Wrote lots of working code, little to no bugs, checked in no-probs, ahead od schedule for ship, extra time for ping-pong!"
Def bad day:
"Somone fucked up the latest build, coffee machine's broken, ran out of adderall, manager on everyone's @$$ for a fix, 5 hrs later...no fix, no blames, no coffee, board meeting; fml"1 -
Has to fix a bug in our old products web interface, how did I ever put up with it. In some places it has 7 nested iframes. It is also some of the worst code I have ever seen, no user input is sanitised plus there is no structure to the code, try looking for a CDs element without going into chrome dev tools is impossible as there are 52 separate CSS files1
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Finally put in my notice to quit a job that has been going nowhere for a while...
... and now moving on to a new opportunity as the first hire of an exciting new startup.
Few days are better that the day you quit a job.
Today is a good day
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One Windows is being a bitch a won't boot. I forgot the login password of another one of my windows laptop. Internet at home is not working at all.
Also to top it off, i think i lost the pendrive with my cryptos
Not the best day of my life.1 -
"Are you sure this is not a scam" mum when I wanted to but my first lot of web hosting from one.com2
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FML spent ages debugging why a function wasn't working, looks like I must of duplicated the function by mistake. Then after that I was trying to change the functionality slightly but wasn't working. Only spent half of Friday trying to debug it, luckily I fixed it in like 30 seconds today :P
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!rant
Today was a good day:
- made good steps forward with one of my personal projects, learning a few things along the way
- squashed a bunch of bugs
- almost finished some heavy reorg of the git repo for another project
- killed like 4 mosquitoes (those things are annoying af!)
Today was a good day! -
!dev
We have an 18-month old at home, and St. Patrick's Day(a big deal in the US) falls on a Saturday this year. Blarg.2 -
Internship Day 2: Spent almost an hour debugging an error in Dockerfile. Turns out I wrote the name of a bash script wrong.
*facepalm* -
"never call anything 'ng'.. One day it won't be."
- Michael W. Lucas @ BSD Now 197 at ~26:40 mark.1 -
I think I’m gonna do one day coding challenge this Saturday as a break from a game which I’m making 😁
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Scenario 1) Server -> proxy -> client
Scenario 2) Server -> proxy -> 2nd proxy -> client
Scenario 1 works on some web browsers
Scenario 2 always works3 -
Ordered myself a new laptop, paid extra for next day delivery before 10:30 (not cheap)
Get the tracking number and it looks like they have used my delivery address and billing postcode :/3 -
I'm fairly new in our team and yesterday I was going to work on an app I hadn't contributed to yet.
...except I couldn't get it to run on my machine. None of my co-workers knew why and I've spent the entire day trying to solve the problem.
Ultimately I found it. There was a stray package-lock.json that screwed up npm.3 -
I thought that I'll be loving the first day on a new job, but I'm been waiting for hours to make some code.1
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Completely fed up today, trying to investigate a memory leak using google chromes profiling tools, first of all all the "documentation" is well out of date so you have to pretty much guess your way through it.
Anyway i start to investigate and it looks like the JS Heap increases in size only after a garbage collection, surely this is the wrong way round or am i just being stupid
2 -
So today was my last day before heading off for an2 week holiday. Spent most of the day explaining to my team what needs to be done and how everything has been structured for the current project, but I get the feeling they don't understand any of it.
Pretty sure I'll be coming back to a clusterfuck. -
Arghhhhh working with regular expressions (already a bad start) got it working on my dev PC but it won't work on the server.
The only difference is my pc is running PCRE v8.41 and my server is running v8.42. Can't find anyone else having the same issue on SO/Google8 -
So my room mate threw out €700 of spending money for our holiday later this month. Luckily I thought about it today and started looking for them. Was the last palace I could think of.3
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With all this uproar about MS taking over github I’m so glad I decided to go self hosted. I’m currently using gogs.io and have been for the past year or so. Granted it doesn’t have all the features that github/bitbucket does, but it’s also free for an infinite amount of users/private repos.2
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!rant
Does anyone know of any software I can use to monitor a RAID 1 array health. Ideally ild like an email if one of the drives has failed/removed.
On a side note thank god for RAID 😅3 -
Think I’ve finally finished setting up my shared hosting server for my clients websites 😁
I found Webmin a few days ago and spent a few evenings sorting it out, so far so good. Should save a lot of time ☺️3 -
When the network monitor you wrote decides to go offline for unknown reasons the same day you have your bachelor thesis presentation.
FML :/ -
Found out that i have amazon prime music with my account for free (i always thought it was £7.99 extra) So mow im going through down loading a load of music and remaking my playlists, in the end it will make me more productive so that's how im justifying it to myself :P
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Finished to do list of a long project, I call that a good day... When I get paid it will be a good year ☺
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When I saw they remastered Call of Duty 4 I was very happy, spent alot of my childhood on that game and would easily pay £40-50 for it. But they are only selling it as an add on to the new COD game for £90-110 😔
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When you start a data import to a test database on Friday as it will take a few days only to forget later and turn off your PC. Just finished after restarting it Monday.
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We create home automation S/W and have it installed in the workplace.
For some reason the lights in the Help Desk/Testing department didn't turn on this morning. At the time our lead engineer was there too.
Rather then try sort it out themselves, they called R&D and got us to check the issue out. Turns out the lighting had been tripped over the weekend when the maintenance department was doing some work.
As we were investigating the issue they were just talking about their weekend so could of easily investigated it themselves! -
Happy National Backwards day January 31 (in the US) So for today all of us left handed dyslexics are correct 😁
Fun fact
leonardo da vinci used to write from right to left and wrote his letters backwards. The earliest cipher I can think of.2 -
Sooo, I'm at my music school, at a gig, wasn't aware of the day until a friends told me.
Hugs to everyone needing it today! (probably need one actually)? -
What do I do on my day off? I write a Slack-Twilio integration so I can send text messages from my laptop. (Yeah, iMessage on the Macbook works too, but that's not the number I wanted to text from.)3
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company bought a software for 400€. we figured out we could not use it for its use of a proprietary file saving system without access to our own data. so i took all good features, extended them with our specific requirements and built a quite open system myself. good day. why didn't i thought of that earlier?
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Best part of being single on Valentine's Day is bitching about all the couples around you with your other single friends.
Happy val int tines = day;
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