My mother just called our Google home the github.

Dear Apple.

Charging $99 for a one-year developer account is bullshit.

Best regards,
Me and every other tech-student on this planet.

Hats off to this lady .... I would have just flipped the machine

The whole devteam entering the meeting sitting there for a few minutes realizing the one who placed the meeting was not there. With questionmarks almost painted to our forheads we silently agreed on leaving and going back to what we did before the meeting.

The hour before i downloaded devRant i was a 9gager. Now i think i am devRanter.
Thanks dfox and trogus and all awesome people in this community. I am a fresh meat in dev world and here i learn so much things about real world i cant learn in anywhere. Cheers if you are reading.

So you want to learn coding overnight​? 😂

God is one of us

Our university syllabus is so outdated, we are forced to do C programs in TurboC.
So we install Dosbox on Windows 8 machines...
1 upvote = 1 prayer

Aaaaaaaargh!! Fing ashole!!
I got a major blocker reported, tried to connect to client, two of the user accounts were locked out because some genious used the last months password too many times.. FUUUU!! This happens almost every month!! FU! I go to the support dpt to check WTH is with those user accounts and got told the VPN is fucked up anyway so I will not be able to connect in any casr (disconnecting, bad transfer rate, it has a flue or prebirth cramps...whatever...). Ok, I ask if anyone notified our network admins and theirs.. And in response one guy mumbles something... I asked really really pissed off (due to the seriousnrs of the situation, we have max 8h to fix blockers and must check what is going on in minutes) if he is talking to me and answering my question or just talking to himself. He then a little bit more audiably said: we all are unable to work, you are not the only one with this problem & if you have a solutio... I already stormed out. Yes, everyone has problems connecting, no not everyone has a fucking blocker assigned to them!! Mayor malfunction on our system is not the same as archiving old processing data!!!

Simple yes or no question: did anyone notify our network admins & client's network admins?! And client's management that we have technical problems and cannot check the blocker situation immediately?! And I get a mumbling incompetents guy response... OmFG yes, I have a solution for you!! Go and jump of of the terrace!!

I was once working for a company as a part time dev in the centrum of my city.

After working there for almost 1 year I noticed that I didn't get paid the last 2 months. I think it was about 500 euro's. (1 day per week).

So I went on my bike to the company to see whatsup. I came into the store and told my boss I hadn't been paid for 2 months. Even tho I did work.

He then got so angry! Just started yelling "YEAH BECAUSE THE PROJECT ISNT NEAR COMPLETE, NOTHING IS WORKING" I explained him the panel still had to be configured and that everything he asked me to do had been programmed and he then fucking told me he wanted it a different way even tho we clearly discussed it WEEKS AGO and he clearly said what he wanted. so he wanted dont revisions. I told him that this is not possible at this moment because holidays are around the corner and I want to go om vacation. (and he too!!!)

He then got so fucking angry he said "come with me for a second" we walk to the door of the building and then he just pushed me out of there and kicked me in my back.

I got so fucking pissed, I opened the door and asked him if je thinks this is a normal way to discuss. He closed the store door again, and I couldnt hold back anymore. I threw my full can of Red Bull against the glass door. The can exploded, and his whole fucking window had energy drink on it. He took some fucking steal pipe, so I walked back. But while trying to get away I jumped on his store sign. Which broke into pieces (they are quite expanasive). He came outside with his fucking pipe and he was trying to hit me. We had a crowd and people started yelling at him. I walked away but the asshole took my bike and put it inside his store. So that I couldnt leave.

So than I called the cops and reported him. For minor assault and some other things. Shortly after I deleted the entire project from his stupid server.

I really dont know this kinda shit happends, he probably felt like I didn't deserve that money even tho I did everything he asked for within deadline. Trying to solve it after vacation was also not an option. I signed him up for a few news letters after that.

Today I was searching Android docs and found something interesting:

To write Android log statements, you use the android.util.Log class with the following methods:

Log.v()

Log.d()

...

Log.wtf() 😮😮😮

According to Google it seems to mean "What a Terrible Failure".

WTF?!?!?!

The joke told itself

Answer: Very Slowly!

Finally put tiger inside grub!
Had to-do lot of circus!
Had grub without any background twice!
What are format of pictures supported by grub?

I should find me a girl that loves to code. Those would be some arguments I would like to pass through

Is this the code life
Another scrum meeting
Caught in the the Node life
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the screens and see..
I'm just a dev boy
Doing some debugging
Because there's warnings here
Errors there
Segment faults
Everywhere
Anytime you distract
Takes another hour from me
From me

*piano starts

Mama. Just committed a bug
Merge the branch to production
Did it fast for milestones
Mama. The repo has just begun
But now they going to throw the stack away.
Mama. U u u uu
Didn't mean to code in LAMP
But it's the only stack i know how to setup
In Ubuntu. Without docker
I really don't get vagrant

*piano

It's too late
My team is done
Some dev is working in Nepal
A UX dev. Now what is that?
Goodbye everybody
I've got to go
Gotta leave this lame meeting
And face the truth
Oh nooooo. I i interns
(they have questions)
I want to debug
I don't want to stay till 3 in the morning

*epic guitar

I see a litlle dev over there
Let's code review, let's code review
Did he do the last commit?
Coding in the white board
Very very frightening me
That's bug(that's a bug)
That's a bug (that's a bug)
What the f*ck did you do that?
Magnificcooooooo

I was just coding and nobody liked it
He was coding and nobody liked it, spare his some time to do his debugging

Easy man. Here go. Will you let me code?
A meeting. No,we will not let you code. ( let me code)
A meeting. we will not let you code. ( let me code)
A meeting. we will not let you code. ( let me code)
We will not let you code
Never never let you go
Never let you code, oh
No no no no no no no
Oh mama mia, mama mia ( dude, you've gotta let me code)
Screw you guys, I'm gonna code and commit. Commit. Comiiiiitt!

*epic guitar

So you think you can review me and spit in my eye?
So you think you can dump me and erase my branch?
Oh baby, cant do this to me baby
I've just have to log out.
I've just have to log outta here

*epic guitar solo

Nothing really matters
The users will not care
Nothing really matters
To them

Any way this code blows

My girlfriend is learning python and she figured out how to change her environment to dark mode. I'm so proud of her.

I think that instructions on ransomware are more clear than on troubleshooters nowadays... 😂

Lots of questions going on about devRant. Just want to make devRant better.

1. Please tell the update intervals of upvotes and downvotes. Is there a delay? Doesnt really matter but i see many times i got a upvote notif but my score didnt increased...

2. Duplicate image algo is so poor. I know it is only in beta, but i see so many reposts which has the same pic but only with the resolution different or the image with the devrant watermark.

3. Minor, tags should be also saved when exitting the post rant activity.

4. Feature request : go to top, bottom in rant

5. Please make web app accessible in mobile. I think you check the user agent for the web app, but can you make it available to mobile users who cant download the app?

6. When accessing the web app in mobile, i type devrant.io/feed
Then, by the wonderful intent you made, it opens the app automatically. I was writing a rant, but it was all deleted.

7. Any new podcasts and cartoons planned?

8. Still bug not fixed.
Write a comment in a long rant.
Delete the comment you just wrote.
You cant reply to the last person comment.

Thanks.

So, my broadband internet is not working. Naturally, i called my ISP and complained.
He enlightened me, "Turn on your TV and watch the news. Theres a deadly computer virus on the loose and it is affecting banks and businesses and everything. So we decided to help our customers by turning our services down for a few days."
What the actual fuck?
Its like to Not eat anything due to a bird flu.
Oh! and i have an exam tomorrow.
Thank you muggles.

I hate my stupid non confident ass.

I was just negotiating for a pay for a project that I would work at after my day job, because I'm familiar with it and they really can't get a better person to finish it. And I get shy when talking to the boss and totally lowball it and now I'm working for peanuts.

Fuck. :(

I have difficulties to process why some of my developer colleagues have such difficulties reading and processing error messages.

It says what is wrong RIGHT THERE MAN!

Command Line > GUI

We got a new intern this Monday and we were getting to know him. I heard that he is a left handed. So I asked him which hand do you use for coding. He said "I have to see. When I get a keyboard I'll type c and tell you"

Customer: I have installed Windows on my computer
Support: Yes, and ?
C: And I have problem now...
S: You already said that.

Turning 18+ is like getting super user privileges!
Once a adult no more "permission denied" errors!

/*
* First anniversary of devRant unofficial for Windows 10 (UWP)!
*
* Let's celebrate by giving me 500 ++'s 😁
*/

Exactly 1 year ago, on 18 May 2016, I released the first public version (v0.9.2.0 BETA) of my client for Windows 10 users.
I found this wonderful community a few days before, on 12 May 2016, thanks to an article on TNW.
The only flaw was the missing Windows 10 Mobile client for my Lumia 950, so I decided to create a simple one on my own that initially allowed you only to see the list of rants, without the ability interact with them.
A few days later, after spamming the app on twitter, I was reached by @dfox, a very kind person, who gave me all necessary tools and help to bring all official features to Windows 10 users.

A project that I created initially just for fun and necessity became the main project I'm working at in a very short time.

I received a lot of positive reviews from users that motivated me to improve and continue it.
It's true, Windows 10/Windows 10 Mobile users are few, but they appreciate your work as no other and with a lot of feedbacks and suggestions help you to improve it making it very satisfying.

I would like to thank @dfox who made this possible, my friend @thmnmlst who helped me a lot with precious advices and created the presentation below, and of course the whole Windows 10 community! 😉

Good Ranting!

P.S.
If you haven't tried it yet: https://microsoft.com/store/apps/...
For all updates follow me on twitter: https://twitter.com/JakubSOfficial

The v2 is coming... sorry for the delay, below a little preview (alpha) to be forgiven. 😋

Gonna let this one speak for itself.

- History teacher: The Spanish-Moro conflict lasted 400 years.
- Student: Why didn't they try a different merge tool?

Three beers