Details
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AboutI develop software religiously
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Skillsjs & frameworks...
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LocationIsrael
Joined devRant on 1/3/2018
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HR: I’m sure you know what this meeting is about
Dev: My script that converts the name of our 3rd party IT provider in any email thread I reply to with “PooPoo Inc.”?
HR: No, that is a separate meeting
Dev: Ah.4 -
Senior Manager: I have to use your app today, how do I do that?
Dev: Well first you log in, and then you clic—
Senior Manager: That’s way too low level, I only deal with things on high level! Explain it to me from a high level.
Dev: Use the app to orchestrate the visibility of action items to stakeholders and pivot the leverage towards buy-in.
Senior Manager: Hmmmm….
Dev: Agile.
Senior Manager: Aha! I understand how to use the app perfectly now!
Senior Manager’s Account: Last Login - Never.4 -
Post my vaccination break, I login to work today and this is waiting there for me..
My designer just dropped this note in our channel where we have our entire team including directors (my manager),
"I wanted to specifically give kudos to Floyd for creating the Confluence page for XYZ feature requirement.
It's so elaborate and very well structured 👏🏻"
And my Tech director adds to it and appreciates my efforts.
My TPM kept praising various new initiatives that I started and how it made him happy to see the progress + how everything was organised.
My skip level manager kept appreciating the work entire previous week and even in a meeting we had just before I started typing this post.
I feel like I have settled really well in this new org + started gaining trust of teams and leadership.
I need to continue the momentum before I start leading the product independently (a few more weeks should be good).
Now two things I am expecting in return, is good amount of international travel + good timely hikes.
And what's interesting is that my employer is known for these exact two things.
So fingers crossed.. 🤞🏻5 -
Node modules saved me today....
I did
$ rm -rf *
accidentally.
And then while it was deleting node modules i cancelled it and saved my work.8 -
Today I discovered that we have a CSV export button for an order transaction system, on a page which is completely disconnected from the rest of the website.
It is only being called by an internal server, used by our Data department.
They run selenium to click the button.
Then they import the CSV into a database.
That database is accessed by an admin panel.
That admin panel has an excel export button.
Which is clicked by our CFO. But he got bored of clicking, so he uses IFTTT to schedule a download of the XLS and import it in Google Sheets.
That sheet uses a Salesforce data connector.
Marketing then sends email campaigns based on that Salesforce data...
😒11 -
Dev submitting PR: “Testing instructions: Self explanatory”
Dev reviewing PR: You need to be a bit more verbose than that.
Dev submitting PR: “Testing instruction: Feature should work as expected”
Dev reviewing PR: *sigh*… Feature doesn’t work as expected
Dev submitting PR: WHAT IS NOT WORKING AS EXPECTED??? I NEED MORE DETAIL THAN THAT!!
Dev reviewing PR: …….So do I you muppet5 -
text-align: center
Designer: “it’s not cantered, it’s 2px too much to the left”
Me: *does nothing* “what about now?”
Designer: “perfect”
Yup. This IS the Truman show.17 -
During my interview, I poured some water into a cup and it overflowed a little bit.
Interviewer: Nervous?
Me : No, I just always give my 110%9 -
Just saw this on Reddit thought I’d give it a little share on here as it made me chuckle and the fact that I may be chasing points on devRant so I can make an avatar3
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Put a counter based on the number and average salaries of the attendants on screen. The meeting won't be more productive but the management will see how much money they are wasting with all the unnecessary meetings.3
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Some ideas for variable names. Thank me later :))
1. bool sheet;
2. int entionally;
3. char mander;
4. double penetration;
5. string cheese;
6. long schlong;23 -
If you invite me to a "lunch and learn" about company policies, and I have to bring my own lunch, well, that's just a meeting during my lunch, isn't it?15
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> In college
> group of 3
> we decided to make a list of songs website that allow user to download it.
> No idea how webserver worked
> only know html and css
> decided to make one html for each letter the song starts with
> it was fun but stupid9 -
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said: "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.1
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Tracking my time. I always forget to do it while I’m working and end up having to bullshit it at the end of the month. And then it takes like two hours to finish. 🤮8
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That moment when you double tap tweet in Twitter to like it. 🙃
Why can't more apps be like devRant!3 -
"devRant has changed" "I'm so fed up with this site" "Its a bunch of hate and memes, it was so much better before"
A rebuttal.
devRant is approximately the same as it was when it was just a newborn. Remember the days of semicolon jokes being unironically funny?
Look at the top rants of all time, for fucks sake. #2 ever is:
"A different error message! Finally some progress!"
Posted three years ago. That's the second most upvoted rant in history (Remember, this was a "rant" because the joke/meme category didn't exist back then), it made it's way into the app store screenshots, and was a welcome post.
Now imagine that posted today. It would probably go over okay, in fairness, but it's certainly at risk of any number of pretentious pricks complaining about how this is "devRANT not 4chan" or how they had seen the joke before and it's a shitty repost.
And sure, the repost bullshit is fair. I'm not saying that all the reposts are good content. What I'm saying is devRant has always been full of reposts - they just weren't reposts in the early days. The quality of content is the same.
There's also the common misconception that your posts need to be directly related to tech to post on devRant. This is a myth propagated by 0 IQ heathens that don't read any further than the name of the application. Your posts can be anything that isn't prohibited, like porn, spam, and, importantly, politics (commonly overlooked rule)
"All the memes are just too much". Oh you poor fucking baby, let me pour you a healthy serving of pity juice. First of all, you can turn off the memes category, and while they will still find their way to your feed, the concentration will be much lower and it will once again be bearable for your pitiful, weak little soul. Do you seriously get annoyed that severely by shitty posts that you need to leave the app altogether, or do you just want the attention of being a "cool hipster that hates on xyz"?
"This place is just filled with hate! Why can't you just respect xyz technology, it isn't actually that bad!"
This is probably the most stupid fucking thing you could possibly ejaculate from your fingers into whatever device you are using to type. Welcome to devRant, we hate on shit. That's at our core. No, xyz technology ISN'T actually that bad, you're correct. But we're here to tear it apart because it probably has frustrated us in the past. I fucking hate JS because it was my first language and it confused the shit out of me. JS is a great language. But I still talk shit about it, and that's what we're here to do.
Like seriously, I know a lot of people post stuff they're proud of here, and then they're met with "Would be great if you didn't use xyz tech", and that hurts, but holy shit, this is devRant. If you're sensitive to criticism, or even just straight up being made fun of, don't post shit that you're proud of. You won't have a good time. It's just not what we do here.
Quick interlude before the conclusion, "My girlfriend dumped me after I named a class after her. She felt I treated her like an object." is also on the first page of all-time most popular posts.
In conclusion, devRant has not changed. Reposts have been a nuisance since day 0, and just because reposts look different these days doesn't mean the quality of content has decreased in any manner. The two main sources of your frustration are the volume of low-quality posts (Mind you, not the concentration of them, but the volume of them) and your own prejudices about the platform. You're looking back with rose-tinted glasses.
Here are some tips for a more enjoyable experience:
-Make sure you have the "Hide reposts" setting ENABLED in settings. Any posts marked as repost will be hidden in your feed, pulling down the concentration of low-quality posts.
-Keep to the algo sorting method. Obviously, algo is a bot, and there's still gonna be some shit content in there anyways, but if you're in recent, you are absolutely guaranteed to see low-quality posts. It's unfiltered.
-Keep in mind that what you consider a "quality" post is not what others consider a "quality" post. Just because you don't like memes doesn't mean memes are poor content. There are people here who have never seen the bobby tables comic. And they deserve the same experience we got when discovering dev humor.
-Don't be a prick. And if you cannot help yourself, leave. Ironically, you're making the site worse by complaining about how bad the site is. You can always come back if you aren't a prick anymore. And you can leave permanently if you choose as well.
-Downvote and move on. You're not doing anything but making yourself more aggravated by leaving a shitty comment about how shitty the shitty post is.
-Think critically. Obviously optional, and I know not many people like to use their brain when a phone is suspended between their hands, but if you want a better experience, remember to use your head and not to lose it.21 -
"Welcome to everybody's favorite show: Did It Break!?!"
"Here's our first contestant, Alex Brooklyn!"
* Audience claps *
''Tell us Alex, what command did you use?!"
ls -la
"And did it break production?!"
Not yet..., the website is still up, even checked without cache and on a different network, I haven't had any calls in half an hour and Sentry reports nothing
"Great to hear! On to round 2!"14 -
A colleague was doing configuration on a server and needed to restart the network card.
So he clicked disable it, just to notice that his remote session died ...
Now where can we get a cab?8 -
EDIT: devRant April Fools joke (2019)
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Hey everyone!
Today, @trogus and I are very happy to announce a devRant feature that we’ve been working on for many months. After extensive time and money investment, it’s finally here! Introducing, pixelated avatars!
@trogus came up with this awesome idea about a year ago, but we couldn’t get it just right so we had to tons of work/research to make those pixelated avatars give the full sense of retro and ULTIMATE pixelation. We think everyone will appreciate how this effort turned out.
Anyway, let us know what you think, and we hope you enjoy!
p.s. here is @trogus’s avatar - the model we used to make sure the feature is perfect!51