Got to work this morning only to find out devRant is now on the list of blocked social media sites here. Let the job search begin.

Step 0: Feel incompetent with coding skills
Step 1: Try to practice by writing programs or learning new software, etc...
Step 2: Lose motivation and watch Netflix
Step 3: repeat

Working in Java be like.

"Oh, you're a developer? Then you cannot fix my PC", said no relative ever.

Client: "You literally did what I asked you to do."
Me: ...
Client: "I need you to do it differently."
Me: ಠ_ಠ

Worst interview question (but actually answer) :

Interviewer : "How would you describe the Internet in one word?"

Me: "... Big"

I got the job by some miracle.

Now i can enter in peace! Finally a good number

Every. Single. Time.

Started wearing USB sticks around my neck with thousands of dollars of bitcoin on them, feel like a baller

Why drink and drive when you can code and cry?

I'm late to work
...Because I'm still eating breakfast
...Because I'm browsing devRant
... And writing a rant about being late to work
... Which remind me...

"Before software can be reusable it first has to be usable." - Ralph Johnson

I am starting to realise that there really is nothing more permanent than a temporary fix.

Software which is not open source...

when your company doesn't let you use source control because it's afraid people would steal the code 😩

"I will go to sleep after i fix this bug" 10min later I look outside, North Korea and the USA are fighting a nuclear war, russia invaded europe, hitler rose from the death and there's even more javascript frameworks

!rant
*Theoretical computer scientist is at an interview.*

Interviewer: “Imagine that you are walking down a road and see a house on fire. What do you do?”

CS Guy: “I dial the police and tell them that the house is on fire.”

Interviewer: “Good. Now, imagine that you are walking down the same road, and you see that the same house is not on fire. What do you do?”

CS Guy: *Ponders for a little while.* “I put the house on fire and reduce it to a problem I’ve solved before.”

Random Uncle: So what do you do?

Me: Uncle, I'm a dev at xyz company.

RU: Ah so what do they do

Me: Uncle we work in the internet advertising business, kind of like AdSense

RU: So you basically spam the web?

Me: Yes :/

When you copy some code and select the code you want to get replaced and accidentally press Ctrl+c again so you have to copy the thing you wanted to copy again 😡

Raise your hand if you visit Devrant atleast before sleeping and after waking up.

Oops!

CSS - keep guessing the values until it looks fine.

At the ending part of the interview, I asked a final question to the HR.

Me: "So, what language is mostly used here?"

HR: "Since we're dealing with customers from different countries, English."

HR: How many years you've been developing on Android ?
Me: Two years, with many projects on my own.
HR: So, you're familiar with Android Studio?
Me: No, I've been using "Paint" to code.

"Are you familiar with uploading your code to Google Drive?"

I left the building at that exact moment.

Cat: *walks onto keyboard*
Me: Aww how cute
Cat: $ git reset --hard HEAD

PM: Can you finish this in four weeks?
Dev: yeah sure, I can finish that in four weeks
Narrator: the dev could not finish it in four weeks

Asks Cortana to tell a joke, and Cortana opens Bing. Made my day, well played Cortana

Just got this slack from our server admin.

Worst bad practice..

Manager: I need code today
Developer (thinking) : let me give it without unit test. Anyways tester will test it.

Manager to tester: complete testing fast.

Tester(thinking): developer must have unit tested it. Let me skip it.
Enjoy testing completed.

God help clients.. 😊