get( head(…

I wish.

Javascript until ded.
LOL at this image though, someone on Twitter tossed some of these up.

Dear Microsoft,

Thanks for not completely fucking up Github. At least you didn't integrate Office365, allow only Azure deployments, or force downloading repos through OneDrive or something.

But like most developers, I don't deal well with changes to familiar interfaces.

So please.... STOP FUCKING TWEAKING THE BUTTON PLACEMENTS AND TEXTS ALL OVER THE WEBSITE.

(or at least send me a bottle of cognac and a box of chocolates before every UI experiment, so I can deal with it emotionally. I'm a very sensitive boy, you know).

I'm a first year MSCS student, and working in a startup as a part-time engineer. The founder insisted to mark me as a "Senior Engineer" since I was leading a team of 3 student programmers. Deep in my heart I knew I'm at least 4 years away from competent enough to own this title... Today, I got an invitation from a well known company asking me to join their new team as a Senior SDE II, and I suspect this is the reason. I don't know what to do right now... Frankly I only want to ask the HR if he’d consider adding me as an intern instead LOL. I have no working experience in large professional companies before, and I think I will embarasse myself if they interview me about my experience as a "Senior Engineer" which in fact I was merely a Junior dev...

I know that I should stop mindless scroll through devRant when it suddenly crashes 😎

It’s a feature at this point.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I show up for work sober and on time.

While chatting with a colleague that just became a parent. He said he's uses Alexa for his smart home.

So I'm like hmm.. If you're always yelling Alexa... I wonder what the baby's first words will be...

And maybe that's the whole point... Conditioning the next generation to pick Amazon products as the default...

When you anger some mentally imbalanced guy and he comments on your rants as revenge 😂. Made my day, ok, you got my attention.

How I went from loving my job to wishing i dont wake up tomorrow just to avoid it.

Ive been a backend dev in the company im at for 2 years now.

First year was a blast, i loved my work so much, I used to get so many random features to do, bug fixes, campaigns, analytics, etc..

Second year i started getting familiar with the part of the code that has to do with Search in our music streaming app. Nobody wanted to work on it, so i wanted to take initiative and start doing a few tasks.

A few tasks turned into sprints, and sprints turned into months worth of sprints. And because the code was the definition of tech debt, and because it was so messed up that changing one thing can blow up everything else, working on Search was not too fun.

However, people seemed to be happy search tasks are no longer piling up and someone is handling them so that used to make me feel good about it. They also gave me so much freedom and i felt like my own manager because no one told me what to do (not even my actual manager) they just let me be and were happy i was handling the part they want nothing to do with. I was also given an intern to mentor and have her work on Search tasks with me which turned out amazing.

During the last few months, I completely rewrote search, made it 10 times more performant in such a neat way, made an inhouse dashboard to automate certain tasks so we wont need to waste developers on them (all of which were extra effort on my own time without being asked), all meanwhile still tending to the fixes of the old implementation.

I felt so accomplished, and in a way, i felt like a lead (even tho im not managing any employees, i had so much freedom and I was literally responsible for everything about Search and if i decide to play with the sprint task order i can even do that).

Then 6 or so weeks ago my manager left the company, and while i thought id be a standalone team / person (single person teams are not uncommon in the company) i was instead put under someone else. Someone who likes to micro manage the fuck out of me. I have been happy working on shit code because it was my baby, my project, no one interferes and no one tells me what to do and everyone would call me the search lead (unofficially). now if i dont report to that guy every two hours he calls to see if im working. preplans sprints i no longer have a say in, and im the only dev who knows the code so all tasks go to me. I feel i got demoted so fucking much. I felt like a lead on a project and now im back to being a normal code minion. From deciding everything about a project to blindly following a some irrelevant manager's opinion. (who btw is making Search worse) And after all the extra effort i put in, after actually caring, after actually embracing Search as my responsibility i get rewarded with losing everything i liked about my job...My Independence. From feeling like a lead to feeling demoted. I am so demotivated.

I love the company, but this is hell for me and this made me hate a job i always loved. I am thinking of talking to the CTO asking to work on other stuff because i no longer want this. If i am to be a code minion at least let it be on code i like, let me go back to dealing with PMs, fuck my new manager I dont wanna work with that guy he can take the project along with all its poopoo.

Hi every developer! My name is Allen. English is not my native language so forgive me if I say something that does not make any sense. Let me tell you my story how I become a programmer. (I am still learning) My first computer was a DELL OptiPlex GX 720 desktop. My father bought it for our self-employee job. Before he allow me to use the computer, I used to sit next to him and watching what he do, what he click and what he gets. When he allow me to use the computer, I was slow at typing. One or 2 WPM (word per minute) my father taught me how to use the computer. Very slowly, my typing speed improves. I understand how to use the computer. but one day, I do what make me regret. I was playing with some executables, when I double clicking it, it does not work I used to associate files with apps. I associate music files with every player I want. So, I did what I used to, I associate exe files with windows media center! The computer started to open hundreds of windows media center (WMC for short) whenever an app is clicked, it opens windows media center. Today, I realized that windows were trying to open every app and every process that regularly run. However, since I associate it with WMC, instead of the app itself, it opens WMC some days after the mistake, I wonder how apps work and how I can create my own. My father  told me before that a program is simply a binary file that the computer can read. However, it was too advanced to me at the time.I begin my search with google. Everytime I search, it says "learn to code" or something like that. I see some C++ code but, it was disgusting. when I read just a few lines of a hello world code in java. it was too complex

What I seen

#$$#% $%&$%&*#!@

~

(&*%&$ (_(*^% #&&* (^^$(&^$%^( %^*$())

~

^$70^(`*#%`*#&%^)*!"   Hello world   "#@

~

~

The actual code:

class helloworld

{

    public static void main(String args[])

    {

         System.out.println("Hello World!");

     }

}

I look for an easy way but my attempts fail. then. I push

I to learn how to code.I try learning java. but it still

Very complex. i tried LibertyBASIC. from LibertyBASIC to

Java. after learning LibertyBASIC, it was easy!

LibertyBASIC -> Java -> Ruby -> NOW, C# and XAML

Today, I am learning C# and XAML.

My first OS                         :  Windows 7

My first Computer             :  DELL OptiPlex GX 720

My first successful click  :  The Start menu

My first used App              : Microsoft Encarta 2009

My first created App         : Hi-Lo(number-guessing game. written in LibertyBASIC)

Thankyou for reading this Long story.

 

Why is it that the tech Youtubers of this world (and tech reviewers in general) tend to completely skip development as a use case, and instead (if they do ever move off gaming) focus on things like Rendering & Modelling / CAD work? I'm sure there's *way* more devs in the world than CAD guys, surely?!

And if they *do* give it the light of day, it's always a quick benchmark based on "Firefox compile time", "Linux kernel compile time" or similar. Dude, it's 2020. Much as some would like to believe otherwise, most guys stopped compiling swathes of heavy C & C++ as part of their normal workflow over a decade ago.

Real-world tests I want to know about are things like docker performance, common IDE startup performance, compile performance of different sized applications on a bunch of langs like Kotlin, C#, Java, Clojure - or node.js performance, Tensorflow performance on NVidia's vs AMDs latest GPUs, etc. I care about how many IntelliJ instances & VMs I can have open way more than how many Chrome tabs I can forget to close.

But noooo - forget that, here's how fast Blender can render a BMW! 😬

One of the biggest reality checks you will run into when starting your first dev related job - and which they don't teach you about in school - is that a lot of the time will be spent working with other people's code, and rewriting it into "your own" is rarely an option.

You might be super into making things, but not everyone manages to maintain that same spark while taking over a 15 year old project with fundamental issues that have to be triaged "for now" because you need a hotfix on this other specific thing out in prod before lunch.

There are no gods now. They left the company years ago and nobody knows why they used the windows registry as a user repo.

Email and password passed as GET parameters, obviously

What if we hired drivers like we hire programmers

Android: where ProgressBars go around in circles and Spinners don’t spin

There was a time in Windows 95, where during login, you could just press cancel and you were logged in without the need of a password.

Fuck stupid client.

Sorry:

Boss: client want to white label the solution.

Me: ok. They just need to create A record and send as SSL certificate and I will do it.

Client : here is your SSL certificate.

Me: spend whole night to make the transfer and setup server and check whole solutions one by one for reference to our company.

Next day wake around 2 pm to 100 whatsapp message, call from client and noss.

Turns out client IT team revoked the certificate without informing and the product stop working for all people.

Me: go to back to sleep.

Whoever decided to put a "No to all" button in Notepad++, I wish you and your family a healthy and wealthy life. I hope you will get a pay rise and be successful in your career.

- Windows OS user after a long while. Closing a lot of files was a nightmare back then.

Achievement unlocked
Killed production database for 40 minutes

Look, I don't know why, but after sitting around doing nothing, I think he wants to kill me.
Send help.

I mean just look at him, staring right into your soul.

Going through git commit history to figure out when *the programmer fucked up this code.

* I am the only programmer.

password.trim()

When you finally get to use that tensorflow side project you've been working on for a while to solve a real world problem and your boss wants to know how it works.

My company follows minimalistic design, especially in salaries.

I love starting and working on new projects. But as soon as projects exceed their deadlines, I start to get so bored and lazy to actually continue working on them... I haven’t yet been able to overcome this.

Fuck, fucking cock sucking stupid ass prick of a little black box, why, why the fuck do you not fucking boot any more, all you have to do is fucking boot but no, that's to much for you to fucking do!

Ah well, good thing it's only a Rpi!

It had a good life, now to wipe the card and start again! I

YOOO Product owner if you don't specify which freaking page something doesn't work I CANNOT DO ANYTHING FOR YOU!!!!

Everytime i code:

Thoughts on M1 ?
seems like they smoked intel

I.
FUCKING.
*HATE*.
THIS.
KIND.
OF.
PEOPLE!!

I KNOW that you don't understand what you're doing or saying, THAT'S WHY I JUST TOLD YOU A VERY SHORT, SIMPLE, AND CLEAR SENTENCE TO SAY WORD-FOR-WORD TO THE OTHER GUY WHO, IF HE'S AT LEAST HALF-COMPETENT SHOULD IMMEDIATELY UNDERSTAND AND RESPOND WITH *FOUR* *WORD* *ANSWER* and instead of that you blabber on for 5 minutes how you don't know what to say to him and how to explain what we need (FUCKIN ADMIN LOGIN YOU BOTH WINEFLY-BRAINED MORONS!), and he blabbers for 5 minutes back something something bullshit someone else and then REMOTES INTO THE COMPUTER, AND DOES A SYSTEM REINSTALL OR REMOVES DUDE'S USER ACCOUNT OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT BECAUSE MY SKYPE CALL WITH THE DUDE DROPS AND NEXT TIME DUDE IS CALLING ME HE'S CONFUSED ABOUT SYSTEM SETUP SCREENS!!!!!!

WHAT!!!!
THE!!!!!
SHIIIIIITTT!!!!

told him sorry but call the fucker who fucked it up for you, i'm not wasting two hours of my time just because some school "IT admin" thinks the best solution for user not knowing his admin login is to remotely trigger a reinstall or someshit on the machine.