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Today my current company fuck itself.
We were in negotiations about the end of my contract/mission, I want to quit to create a company around AI.
And the actual chairman said to me "You think too highly of yourself. I could find a tenth of people to replace you so shut up and take what we offer".
30 minutes later they received my resignation. 1h after that, the 15 dev under me resigned (after two year working with us they are clearly under paid). At the end of the day, the Head of product and the two good PO resigned.
This morning I get an email, talking about suing me as I made everyone resigned and asking for a meeting.
So I went to the meeting with a lawyer, they weren't expecting it. Boring legal stuff came after that.
And the funny fact: at the end of the meeting the CIO, chief ops and the SRE resigned as well.... As they didn't want to have the run it without all the team...
Funny day :)
Last month the main product, 90% of the company use it, was launched. And in three months 80% if the IT profiles will be out...36 -
1. The quality of the coffee and toilet paper you encounter during an interview tells you more than promises about table tennis or fruit baskets.
2. Try to determine who their primary client is: subscribers, app buyers, advertisers, etc. It's a major influence on the company dynamic.
3. Before an interview, you can just say: "I would like to sit down with a PO and run through one backlog feature and one bug, to get a feel for the type of tasks at the company". Such an activity immediately reveals team structure, whether they have product owners & scrum masters, what a sprint looks like, how they prioritize tasks, and how organized/chaotic your work experience will be.16 -
I met one of my friend from my childhood he asked me what I do for a living.
I told him : "I am a full stack developer"
He : What does that mean? What you have to do in office?
Me: I write code for websites in very simple words.
He: Like facebook?
Me: yes, exactly.
He: So you work for windows?
Me: What makes you think that?
He: Aren't websites comes with the computer?
Me: I am so unfortunate to meet you.13 -
I believe by the time Elon Musk sets up a colony on Mars, npm will be done installing those fucking dependencies.10
-
1) Stop going to univershity
2) Started python coding at home from online courses.
3) Got the best paid job among batchmates.14 -
Took an interview today.
Me - What do you think JavaScript is interpreted or compiled.
Guy(5+ years of UI exp) - It's neither of them. It just runs on browser.
At that moment I slowly started fading away into a black hole for the absolute peace and embrace death.15 -
In my previous company, I used to work for a client company which had a terrible website. It was about financial data and people would have to wait too long before the page loaded because there was a freaking 1.2 megs of minified, compressed JS file that needed to load before you could do anything.
Everyone knew that was a pain in the ass and nobody wanted to touch spaghetti code and mess up something they didn't know.
I wanted to however take a shot at it. So an architect from client side and I discussed how we were gonna go about it and how we were gonna find the stuff that needed to load on page load and stuff that could be loaded later.
So we plan for it. We broke everything down from a globals polluting JS, found out the variables and functions that needed to run during first load by literally putting a console statement for each function and finally came up with two bundles.
The primary bundle was 120kb and would during first load and then every module would call it's own secondary bundle when the user interacted with it.
In the process, we removed half a meg of JS and the site became blazing fast.
I did it with a team of two members who, my manager thought were useless, learned a ton of stuff, setup proper process for the transition.
When the client didn't appreciate the amount of brain and effort we had put into it, these two members came forward to tell the client to acknowledge my effort and attributed the success of it to me.
I was totally moved. There was so much respect that I didnt care what anybody else thought. I was just so happy to work with those two humans.
When i left the company, i gifted them stuff they always talked about or wanted. :) Feels good.1 -
Hello, guys.
I'm here is new. I'm from Russia. Sorry for my English, but i will learn his and talk you all about think.45 -
PM in daily: your turn. what have you done yesterday?
me: so i finished my PR for feature x and now i'm only waiting for review feedback there, so i can close this ticket today if no major rework is required-
PM: this is not what i asked, i don't want to know what you did, i want to know what was done.
me: uhh... okay, also i started working on task x
[note: task x, a task per definition involving a large amount of research, was very coarsly defined and it wasn't even clear to the PM what he exactly expects from me, and we agreed that the scope needs to be refined in the process],
so as a first step, i started doing some general investigations to get an overview of the topic and learn about concepts a and b-
PM: again, i don't want to know what you did, i want to know what was done.
me: okay well, i have DONE basic research on topic xy and collected information-
PM: this still does not answer my question, what's the deliverable?
me: ...so uhhh.... i read papers? i researched info online and collected and prepared information and links in a presentation which i'm also planning to present to the team-
PM: okay, can you please split your jira task in subtasks so everyone knows exactly what you're working on? otherwise we have no idea what you're doing.
for fuck's sake, shut up. just shut up22 -
So what do you do for a living?
- I fix shit. While i do that, i break some other shit and then i fix that shit.2 -
You is not gonna beliebers what just happened lol
So a couple weeks ago I earned a stress ball (300+ ++'s) I sent an email about it but never got a reply, so I decided to just forget about it. But then I just ranted (lastnight) about how its so hard to get a stressball. So I basically just said "fuck it i'll buy one". Then some dude comes along and is like "omg not until he shows us the bought one" so I'm like CHALLENGE ACCEPTED and buy one...
Then I get an email confirmation from devrant store confirming my order for the bought stressball. And I notive that my spam folder has unread messages in it. i look inside the spam folder and what do I see?...
I see dfox replying to my free stressball request weeks ago lol. So yay, now I gets the 3 balls (or two - depending) lol omg, so many balls.
15 -
Oops, i bought a new one - I dont really know what i wanna do with it - but it was on sale so 😅
#4GB-RAM
15 -
Hey PMs!
Fuck you!
Estimates are NOT... I repeat..they are NOT the FUCKING DEADLINES.
If you are asking for an estimate then remember, in your absolutely fucking small fucknugget brain, that it can FUCKING CHANGE!
The last thing you wanna do is grill the dev by asking them to explain in details why the change instead of trusting them. Specially when you don't understand a thing of the technology.
- Dev on whom you are shitting you asshole!18 -
Sometimes when I code, I plug in my earphones and listen to music, focused, in zone.
* I let everyone think that.
** I actually don't listen to anything.
*** Keeps the buggers away!10 -
Product Owner: "need this doing in 6 months, can you do?"
Me: "we're too busy to start another project at the moment - can you wait about 6 months for it to start, or I'll have to hire more devs"
PO: "I'll just outsource it"
36 months later the company he outsourced to is out of business and hasn't delivered, and I've had their half-finished shit show git repo dumped on me.
No comments, no docs, and no units tests, so no fucking idea what it's supposed to do4 -
Ninety-ninety Law - Tom Cargill
"The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time."
A good list of laws found here (old but good read):
http://globalnerdy.com/2007/07/...2 -
It bothers me that IntelliJ IDEs and Documents on Google Drive don't require Ctrl + S to be pressed to save a file.
That's like my birthright taken away from me!8 -
Me: Hey let's do A to help the website.
PO: Yeah that sounds good. but let's do some research about it.
6 months later.
PO: Hay let's do A to help the website.
CTO/CEO/PO's boss: amazing idea. Here's an award and some money for that.
Me: What. The. F...6 -
In our company the estimation is done by customer / PO. Usually, the deadline is set to the day before yesterday after the issue arrived. Always highest prio.
Oh, almost forgot: when a developer does his estimations, the resulting number gets divided by 7 by the PMs. Buffers? Who needs that. QA? Pfff. We are EFFICIENT.
Deadline not met? Bugs in the release? The developer must be bad.
8 -
What's with the 4 pixel wide scrollbars on some desktop software these days? Does nobody care about accessibility anymore?
No seriously.
Fuck you.
And why the fuck does open source software seem to be the main culprit - as usual.
And tutorials telling us to add an extra blank line to our source code because fucking Linux distros decide to put an overlay horizontal scrollbar just over the top of where the last visible line in an editor appears.8 -
Literally translates to : } Do not change requirments at 9pm on Friday that PO aint your father-in-law 😒..
😛😂
11 -
Was asked to make an e-sign system that manipulates PDFs to insert an image and the date at different coordinates on x number of different pages.
200 hours later, it was done. Now I'm the PDF guy2 -
When you are so angry about something you slam your fist on the keyboard, break the Enter and surrounding keys, rush to the closest shop that sells keyboards, fail to buy one because they're all too shit, come home and end up fixing your keyboard, then get even more pissed off because you had already gotten excited about that new keyboard, and end up writing shitty comments for shit you haven't even finished yet because you're too pissed off BECAHSE EVERY FUCKING THING IN THIS WORLD IS FUCKING BROKEN AND SHIT. AND NOW I HAVE A MIGRAINE AND MY LEG IS ITCHY FOR SOME STUPID FUCKING REASON!
17 -
I am now a Cloud Hosting (Windows and Linux) Reseller. I kinda feel like giving away some free accounts to the devRant community. But it can't give away too many accounts, so I probably won't because I don't want to exclude anybody. 😭
25 -
PO: Here's a small cool feature I thought of, should be easy enough *shows very basic draft spec*
Me: Cool, how does it work for logged out users? What about customers in Spain? Does it work with US sales tax? Do we need to update the privacy policy? Do we have translations? What's the fallback if it breaks? Who will be maintaining the content?
PO: ...
PO: I'll get back to you
*never hears about feature again*4 -
Product owner: "I want these 6 epics delivered in 12 months"
Me: "can't to that with 2 devs, need more"
PO: "how many?"
Me: "can't say, you haven't spec'd them"
PO: "how do you know 2 devs can't deliver them?"
Me: "educated fucking estimations you fucktrumpet - at least 2 of them look like 6 month projects for 2 devs, so you need to pay for more resource!"9 -
Keep your arrogance, your fucking stupid logic and religious belief about everthing you say is right aside.
when somebody says there is a better way to solve a problem.. you can do two things. you either listen to them, validate the idea and accept or reject based on discussion or you just be an arrogant fucking prick and stick to your fucking reasoning, about your "right" way.
Don't do the latter. Wont help you become better neither at work nor in life.
FUCK YOU.
- a teammate7 -
When you have a product owner who, on her first day of the project, asks you ' What do you mean by UI?' and a week later question a UI dev why should something take 3 days?
Are you fucking kidding me? I am done with this shit.3 -
Fuck.
I ordered something online.
Autofill fucks up my address but I don't notice it. Get the notification that it's out for delivery. Go check my PO box after I see the USPS driver leave the complex. Package isn't here.
What the fuck?
Check the email only to notice I fucked the address up and there's literally no street name. Just my apartment number for the PO box. Well hopefully it gets taken back to the USPS store and I have to pick it up bc if not, then God only knows where it's at because I sure as fuck won't.11 -
Good Windows reseller hosting plans are hard to find. These guys want to charge me $20 per year just for an extra 1gb of webspace.
Get fucked.
21 -
why the fuck people name variables endig with numbers? why? how the hell do you even figure out what's what?
checkStatus1
checkStatus2
checkStatusMyAss10 -
me : hey tried allo?
her : what is that?
me : it's an amazing new chat app with google built in and you can do blah blah blah.......
*goes on to explain cool stuff*
her: can i send messages to whatsapp from allo?
me : I AM DONE
8 -
>me on first day as temporary scrum master
>gets invited to 'optional' scrum master meeting
>meeting is with all SMs globally
>at 6PM local time
>POs also joining because why
>first topic is discussing a defect
>a PO has stroke of genoius
>"Our code base would be much easier to maintain if it didn't have bugs!"
>this gonna be a long meeting4 -
Me: *gives 8 story points*
PO: Why is it 8 points? this is just copy-pasting and should not take more than 2 hours.19 -
Testing demands a “bug” fixed. It isn’t a bug. It is a limit where as the amount of records updated in a single request overloads the RAM on the pod overloads and the request fails. I say, “That isn’t a bug, it fits within the engineering spec, is known and accepted by the PO, and the service sending requests never has a case for that scale. We can make an improvement ticket and let the PO prioritize the work.
Testing says, “IF IT BREAKS IT BUG. END STORY”
Your hubcaps stay on your car at 100km/h? Have you tried them at 500km/h? Did something else fail before you got to 500km/h? Operating specs are not bugs.16 -
PO: we want this new functionality, a new api call is needed in checkout process
Devs: okay, and what should happen in case of error?
PO: dont worry, it wont fail. Never.
🙃5 -
After completing my sprint and some lingering stuff in the backlog
Me: Hey, there's this tiny feature people have really requested, I'll go build it since I got nothing else to do at the moment. It'll only take like 1h
PO: Hmm ok. Don't work on that yet, we need to check with business people and agree on the user stories and bla bla bla
Me: Ok, well there's these bugs I can take care of then, I'll get them fixed, won't be long.
PO: Hmmm, we need to measure the impact first. Let me get back to you on that a bit later
Me: Meh, oh. I'll refactor this bad component meanwhile then.
PO: Have you created a story for that in JIRA? Create the story first and then we'll groom it and take it in when we've time
Me in my head: Dafuq! Im trying to work on your fucking project but you keep throwing all that business bueraucracy shit at me. What am I supposed to do then? Sip coffee in the kitchen and talk about the other fucking billion failed "new business opportunities" with my peers? Fuck this circle jerk of a billion management people all trying to make themselves important. Nothing. Ever. Gets. Fucking. Done!!!
Me: Ah right, I'll do that *proceeds to the water cooler*5 -
* Sets up some software
"Alright, and now to start the database"
* types "sudo systemctl start po-"
* hits tab -> poweroff.target
* Enter
...fuck me
little did I know, the database was already started...4 -
PO: "I'll email you the details."
Me: Sure, I'll start with what I have right now.
I start coding, 7 hours later I got something working, not sure if it's what he wants.
Still no email.
I might have a followup rant tomorrow when he tells me it's not what he wanted at all.3 -
Almost all of our back end devs are sick today and our PO kept pinging the dev Slack channel with the same core bug, so I replied with this.
5 -
At lunch, someone asked a question about our Sunday Hack-a-thon. Our PO said it was a "Smack-a-thon." I told her, "No, don't make stupid names. Let's call things what they are. It's Management Failure Sunday." Manager was sitting across the table when I said it.4
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In the last project i worked in, the product owner wouldn't treat people as people but as resources.
The problem with that is you just look at people and their work in terms of a checklist and remain blind about real humans face.
She wouldn't understand the challenges of building something with an absolutely new stack which people needed to learn from scratch and put pieces together. She wouldn't be supportive of people trying out things and fail.
One fine day I told her that I was spending too much time on meetings and i should be excluding that time from available sprint timings.. she made me open my calendar in a screenshare session with all team members. Made me go through go through every meeting invite i had on calender and ordered which ones should i be attending from then and which ones i wont. That was insulting. It broke the trust.
I decided to not work with the project. Stopped putting my heart and soul into it and eventually got out of it in a month time.
Don't put your team into a position like this ever. You have to trust them with the problems they face and try to find a solution. Scrutinizing and micro management will always kill the team.1 -
Me : I found this code issue, I think we need to fix it
PO: does it affect the user?
Me: not really but we can make it better
PO: do you have a defect for it in *insert issue tracker here*
Me: no, I just noticed it
PO: is there an IM ticket for it?
Me: I don't think so
PO: is this issue already in production?
Me: possibly. Yes. That's why I was wondering if we should fix it.
PO: okay then we will fix it in the 3rd release from now if you still remember it by then.5 -
In a morning 'stand up'.. (SM = Scrum Master, PO = Product Owner)
SM: "Sprint item 42399 ... Did you work with Ken on getting the price service ready for deployment?"
Me: "No, I worked with Dave on the service bus queue changes. Its there in the notes"
SM: "Ha ha...no...right there...it reads working with Ken."
Me: "Those are your notes. You re-assigned the ticket to yourself yesterday."
SM: "Oh...um...you told me you were working with Ken when I asked."
Me: "I'm really sorry, I don't remember you asking or me saying anything about changes to the price service. All the documentation I have is for the service bus."
PO: "I'm so confused, Ken was pulled off another project to work on the Price service for you guys."
Me: "I never talked to Ken, I have no idea whats going on. Did you tell Ken he had to make changes to the Price service?"
SM: "No..I never...um...well....yea...this card was blocked and the service needed to be approved and deployed."
Me: "Ken's changes were for the purchasing service two weeks ago and already deployed. The card is already marked as Done"
<PO rubs his face>
PO: "Good god...do I still need to be here?"
Me:"Um...no? Sorry?"
<PO walks out>
Me: "What changes did you tell Ken to make?"
SM: "Whatever the card says...see the price service."
Me: "Scroll down...see..price related to the service bus, not price service."
SM:"Work with Dave on getting this card closed, OK?"
Good fracking grief. Your ego is so brittle and so eager to look like a boss.
I did my job, you fracking kiss ass. I'm fracking sure when you re-assigned the ticket you told my boss you "had to" because I was falling behind in the sprint.3 -
it finally happened, PM/PO/SM is now also dev シ
each standup he now also gives update about his work in progress, with his diligently designed subtasks, perfectly sticking to the daily script, like a good well-behaved employee boi. it's weirdly cute
devs can't await to review his first PR. feeling the strong urge to spank his ass for each minor coding style issue or poorly-named variable...12 -
I never touch my code if anyone else have made changes in them without asking me.
I cry like a bitch when I get home.6 -
I will be working from home tomorrow.
*Today*
I am at office because fuck me! I forgot my laptop charger here. -
Week till deadline
PO: are we going to have feature xyz ?
Me: it wasn't in the original spec, we'll put it in the next spec.
PO: but we made a new spec for this fase yesterday and it is in that one.
Me: you can't do that you signed off the original spec before development started
Po: but we've signed this one off too
Me: ...6 -
Sitting in my backyard, trying to mentally troubleshoot some coding issues in the fresh air, and I hear my neighbor say, "...she was picking her bum before..."
Back inside I go.2 -
Why do so many companies think that frontend work can be stuffed at the end of the product development right before a release is expected.
And to top it off, expect all things to be working, smooth, animating, responsive, crisp, fast with 100 fucking lighthouse score.
🖕 To everyone who thinks frontend work is meh!, Not real programming and similar. Fuck you!7 -
so management decided that the PM/PO/SM role has to be split and that SM shall be done by someone else.
PM in retro: so i will give away this role because i cannot fulfill all roles adequately, not because of missing skills, but because of missing time. this is also why i couldn't finish my development task for this sprint. so, someone of you guys has to do the job. i expect the future SM to be always available for me in the morning and the afternoon, so due to timezone shift this has to be someone from the German colleagues. I will have to explain to that person what exactly I as a PO expect from the SM and the SM will have to follow this guideline. also, being SM is no excuse for not delivering your stories, it just takes very little time.
...i don't need to comment on this at all, he already makes a perfect clown of himself 🤡7 -
How I met python
[long read but worth]
There's nothing wrong with falling in love with a programming language for her looks. I mean, let's face it - Python does have a rockin' body of modules, and a damn good set of utilities and interpreters on various platforms. Her whitespace-sensitive syntax is easy on the eyes, and it's a beautiful sight to wake up to in the morning after a long night of debugging. The way she sways those releases on a consistent cycle - she knows how to treat you right, you know?
But let's face it - a lot of other languages see the attention she's getting, and they get jealous. Really jealous. They try and make her feel bad by pointing out the GIL, and they try and convince her that she's not "good enough" for parallel programming or enterprise-level applications. They say that her lack of static typing gives her programmers headaches, and that as an interpreted language, she's not fast enough for performance-critical applications.
She hears what those other, older languages like Java and C++ say, and she thinks she's not stable or mature enough. She hears what those shallow, beauty-obsessed languages like Ruby say, and she thinks she's not pretty enough. But she's trying really hard, you know? She hits the gym every day, trying to come up with new and better ways of JIT'ing and optimizing. She's experimenting with new platforms and compilation techniques all the time. She wants you to love her more, because she cares.
But then you hear about how bad she feels, and how hard she's trying, and you just look into her eyes, sighing. You take Python out for a walk - holding her hand - and tell her that she's the most beautiful language in the world, but that's not the only reason you love her.
You tell her she was raised right - Guido gave her core functionality and a deep philosophy she's never forgotten. You tell her you appreciate her consistent releases and her detailed and descriptive documentation. You tell her that she has a great set of friends who are supportive and understanding - friends like Google, Quora, and Facebook. And finally, with tears in your eyes, you tell her that with her broad community support, ease of development, and well-supported frameworks, you know she's a language you want to be with for a long, long time.
After saying all this, you look around and notice that the two of you are alone. Letting go of Python's hand, you start to get down on one knee. Her eyes get wide as you try and say the words - but she just puts her finger on your lips and whispers, "Yes".
The moon is bright. You know things are going to be okay now.10 -
For fuck sake Facebook! do position:fixed for your goddam toolbar on mobile site because you have that fucking infinite scroll!3
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That feeling when a coworker screws up totally. doesn't accept it as their fault.
You look at the code and see so much of redundancy and bad practice galore.
You look at it for a while and think you can rewrite it from scratch. But you finally end up saying "fuck this" and feel hopeless because there is not enough time.
Hate that feeling. Hate it. Depresses.2 -
Scientists have found that If you just kill the Chrome process, it can give you enough charge to fully charge your Mobile Phone.2
-
Friend : hey! I wanna buy a laptop.. range is about entry level nothing hi fi! But it should work for 3-4 years.
Me : sure.. give me a few hours..i'll get back.
*Looks all around foe the best thing in that price range.
*Sends a list of laptops ranked based on value for money.
Friend : bought it! Yay! 😎😎😎
*Buys the shittiest laptop they could find at that price range with an absolute old age processor.
Why the fuck did you even ask me at the first place? Fucked couple of hours for me.6 -
Wanna hear a story? The consultancy firm I work for has been hired to work on a WPF project for a big Fashion Industry giant.
We are talking of their most important project yet, the ones the "buyers" use to order them their products globally, for each of the retail stores this Fashion giant has around the world. Do you want to know what I found? Wel, come my sweet summer child.
DB: not even a single foreign key. Impossibile to understand without any priopr working experience on the application. Six "quantity" tables to keep aligned with values that will dictate the quantities to be sent to production (we are talking SKUs here: shoes, bags..)
BE: autogenerated controllers using T4 templates. Inputs directly serialized in headers. Async logging (i.e. await Logger.Error(ex)). Entities returned as response to the front end, no DTOs whatsoever.
WPF: riddled with code behind and third party components (dev express) and Business Logic that should belong to the Business Layer. No real api client, just a highly customized "Rest Helper". No error reporting or dealing with exceptions. Multiple endpoints call to get data that would be combined into one single model which happens to be the one needed by the UI. No save function: a timer checks the components for changes and autosaves them every x seconds. Saving for the most critical part occurring when switching cells or rows, often resulting in race conditions at DB level.
What do you think of this piece of shit?6 -
When your "product owner" just doesn't listen...
Skype conversation:
PO: What format will the dates need to be in for the csv file upload?
Me: Just tell them YYYY-MM-DD
PO: ok
Two weeks later...
PO: there is a bug in the csv file upload! The dates aren't being picked up
Me: ok will have a look, send me through an example date the are using
PO: ok, example date 12/03/1990
FFS! 😡
3 -
I asked one of my engineering classmate which processor they had in their laptop.
Ans : 3GB.
I dont know whether they dont know a shit about computers or they are too bad at english.10 -
U know this guy, whos Shady AS FUCK..
He waited until the end of the daily(when noone was putting attention) to make an agreement with the PO about some decisions of the user history..
He doesnt even know WTF is doing, so he wanted to swap his user history for another one..
U & ALL THE PEOPLE WHO NEVER WORK WITH THE TEAM & USE PRIVATES CHATS TO CONTROL OTHERS!
FUCK U!!3 -
Man, my product owner is so fucking annoying. I am 50/50 between two projects when really it feels like I'm 100/100 - and the PO of one of the projects always requests that I join daily stand ups and give updates.
CUNT.
I don't always have updates because I'm working with another team. Why are you trying to micromanage me you fuck face. Also, you know when you get those PO's that are totally useless and don't actually bring any real value to the project except in the capacity of being a slimey charismatic weasel? Yah, that's this person.5 -
Hit udemy, Google for any new technologies, attend large conferences, and simply spend 30 mins to an hour each day coding in anything new - and of interest.
I have to keep up with the young people, to keep my job/career alive, heh.1 -
Bureaucracy is the biggest impediment to progress.
Instead of putting a brick wall in front of you by saying "The PO said that you created a bug", learn how to communicate and have a horizontal hierarchy, for fuck's sake.
Even if all my tests passed, they still throw other bugs in my face and call it my fault. Fantastic. I love Scrum. This is not Scrum, this is abusing and not respecting Scrum.
Stupid rules, stupid people.1 -
#LifeRightNow
- need to find a new place and roommates to live with
- my gf's father doesn't want us to marry.
- my joint family wants to get separated.
- my boss wants me to be at our primary office ( i work remotely ) asap irrespective of anything since it is our biggest production yet.
- i am about the least productive i can be from last couple of weeks.
- going through a serious allergic condition.
#FuckMyLife8 -
Sprint planning:
PO: I have a great idea for a new game changing feature
Team: cool, let’s talk requirements, etc
PO: nah, I trust you can come up with the best implementation possible
Sprint demo:
Team: presents the feature
PO: Why are you guys always doing it your way, instead of following my vision?!
Every single sprint...2 -
Been developing a Java app for 3 months, including basically everything from aop to rest services.
Meeting with po:
Me: So, guess how many loc I wrote.
Po: 400?
Me: *laughs* I'll get to 10.000 this week.
MAN COMES IN WITH CHANGING REQUIREMENTS ON AN HOURLY BASIS YET STILL DOESNT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH WORK ALL THIS SHIT IS!!1 -
Im gonna turn this topic on its head a little and mention the MOST NECESSARY feature that was never implemented in one of my projects.
It was an iOS client for a medical records system. Since it contained actual confidential medical information, some patient records could be “restricted”. Thos meant if you tried to open them you would be prompted for a reason, and this would be audited.
We already had 2 different iOS apps with this feature in place matching the web app. But for some reason with the 3rd app they just decided not to bother. I discovered that it was because the PO in charge of that project didnt consider it important enough for the demo. So we have one app where you can just bypass the whole auditing process and open restricted patient records freely.3 -
Joined a new team at work 6 months ago. Immediately set upon by a useless PO who was somehow set in her ways while still being around 30 years old. Absolutely refused to change the broken team dynamic or processes in any way whatsoever. Made terrible tickets, never did refinement on tickets so they were always missing stuff and constantly blocked. Generally unlikeable and difficult to work with, incompetent at her job and resolutely refused to change literally anything to make the team function better.
She finally leaves after 6 months and the team dynamic changes immediately. Suddenly we are improving our processes, getting stakeholder input, refining tickets, taking reasonable amounts of work in a sprint. We have discussions without her butting in and getting frustrated when you bring up legitimate concerns. No longer do you have to tiptoe around and appease her ego if you want to point out the obvious flaws in the work she drew up or even just examine it from a technical perspective.
It's insane how much things can improve once you shed the dead weight of people that are just determined to be difficult and won't budge an inch to change their ways. Good riddance.4 -
Me ( a python dev) pointing to a good java joke in dev rant to my brother who happens to be working at TCS for the past 5 years as a Java Developer...
Me: Java is shit...
He: huh java is the best! every language in the world is written over java. My manager said this.
Me: I think I will kill him today in his sleep.4 -
I just experienced near death because of high blood. Super strong blood pressure. Avoid coffee, playing games, and sleeping very late at night. This is my advice as a survivor developer. I want to share this to help you. For fast deadlines or hard user stories, always negotiate reasonably with your SM or PM or PO or client.
Thank God he have me a 2nd chance at life. Take care of your health. Don't worry about deadlines. Health is more important. Always pray. I deleted all of my games especially my beloved call of duty mobile and clash of clans. I'll forget all games that I know because those contributed to my high blood pressure.
When you have a headache or head pressure or eye twitching . Stop what you are currently doing and relax, measure your blood pressure and contact your family asap. Take it seriously. My wife saved me.10 -
well a 🖕🏼 to everybody who thinks CSS isn't really "coding". Stop shaming CSS and people who love it because the moment you would be asked a simple alignment problem, you'll shit your pants.
No! not because it's a hard thing to do in CSS(there are tons of ways to do it.) but because you are ignorant and have prejudice.
🖕🏼 you again!12 -
Fucking gnu gettext, fucking .po and .mo files and fuck the fucking poedit. Why in the fucking hell a damn i18n solution used by so many languages doesn't support correctly fucking utf 8 characters in strings inside the code, I mean, WHAT THE FUCK, this is my second day trying to make the fucking Python gettext module to translate the fucking word "está" because I've a fucking big code base programming in Spanish that need to be translated. This is the fucking 2016 and we still have problems with fucking special characters? I mean CMMON1
-
arrived all the way to Philippines, the stickers have. yes mhmmm. salamat po @dfox @trogus (thank you).
//po is used to show respect to older people or someone respectable here in ph
4 -
- I need heat shrink tubes
- go to aliexpress, find the one set I need, order
- receive them to my PO, use a few of them
- I needed parking sensors
- to to aliexpress, find the set I need, order
- the parcel arrives in my country, on its way to my PO
- Today I visit a random site
Conclusion: AI is great at knowing what I have already bought and suggesting the exact same items I've ordered. Because if you've ordered them once you're likely to order them again, right?
2 -
Spent 2 hours last night (leaving an hour late) with the IT guy hunting down a problem that affected at least 12 other teams. It didn't crash the app, but did prevent MANY scripts from working, and thus nothing could be committed.
I found the culprit, made a solution, and posted in the email chain my solution. (it required a code review and a client-side update)
Someone responded asking for another dev to confirm my report. That dev did and them dumbed it down for those who can't understand programming talk. Then EVERY EMAIL after that thanked that dev for "fixing the root problem" and "solving their scripts".
And just now, the PO for the bug was replaced to that dev's team. (previously was my team's PO)3 -
I fucking hate morning people like the one in the story below!
Before we begin story time I want to acknowledge some things.
This is largely a case of a person having a lack of awareness and giving in to their base instincts (which are wrong).
People all tend to think that everyone else is like them (most children below a certain age cannot make this distinction and many adults never learn it either).
To take it a step further, anyone who isn't just like them is Lazy/Bad/An Asshole/etc.
FUCK THOSE PEOPLE
Now it's story time...
---------
I worked for a startup. We used a modified SCRUM, and we had standups every day @ 10 AM, the other team had then at 11:30 AM.
We get a new product owner. He is a morning person. But basically, he is a day-trader so he wakes up at 5 AM to trade and is in the office by 8 AM every day.
The problem is, he uses this as a reason to leave every day at 3 PM when EVERY other member of the team is there until at least 5 PM.
So he says one day (when I am not there) that we are moving our standups to 8:30 AM...
"Because he wants to make more use of the time and wants to get more done!"
So the next day a bunch of us miss this standup, the second day I was there in time but instead of going to the standup I sent them a picture of myself sitting in a coffee shop across the street with a message saying...
"I will be holding a meeting today at 10 AM, I expect EVERYONE to be there. If anyone on our team is absent then we will sit there and that absent person will be responsible for the time we waste waiting for them."
10 AM rolls around and the Product Owner is nowhere to be seen. The team starts complaining about the early standup and I tell them that this meeting is for me to take care of it. I tell them to sit silently and let me handle it.
We all message the PO saying the same thing...
"Come to the meeting, You are wasting our time!!!"
So he shows up at 10:20 AM and it begins.
(Now I'm going to do this as a conversation)
PO: "So I assume this is about the standup?..."
ME: "Feel free to ramble on as long as you want, you have already wasted 20 minutes of our time so we will sit here quietly and wait for you to decide you are ready to stop wasting our time with your ramblings. That's fine."
<PO then shuts up in disbelief>
ME: "So are you finished?"
PO: ...
ME: "I'm expecting an answer PO!"
PO: Yes, for now.
ME: I am moving our standups to 5 PM, end of discussion.
PO: Becuase your too lazy to be here by 8 AM?
<I expected this>
ME: No because I'm an asshole who expect everyone to conform to my schedule.
PO: ..., Well, I am not here at 5 PM.
ME: Sounds like your too "lazy" be here at 5 PM, eh?
PO: I have other things I do then.
ME: Ah, now the truth comes out. You care more about your life than our business. That's unacceptable! I personally don't care what you want to do. The fact is that we are working here and every day we end up having PO questions that need to and can't be answered because you are not here.
PO: <To the team> The standup is still at 8:30 AM.
ME: <To the team> The standup is at 5 PM. End of story. And from now on whenever we have questions before 5 for PO and he is not here we will be recording it and putting it in his report.
Then I walk away.
That day we held a standup at 5 PM. He wasn't there. He held a standup at 8:30 AM and he didn't even show up. He stayed home a video in. He then arrived in the office and said...
PO: Since no one was in the standup today we will be moving it back to 10 AM.
ME: Since PO has seen the selfishness of his ways, We will be moving the standup from 5 PM back to 10 AM.
FUCK THOSE PEOPLE6 -
So a few weeks ago, our PO really scolded my team for not letting him in on our release planning meeting. His rant went on for about 30 minutes, just one long monologue about why he should be invited in the future.
Apparently he wanted to know details since there were some important fixes in the release, which I suppose is fair (though the rant is really not necessary).
Fastforward 2 weeks, we invite him again. He accepts, but never shows up. We decide to start the planning anyway, since we don't want the release branch blocked because someone didn't show up.
Immediately after the meeting, we write him with the new release plan. And he starts ranting again about "planning without him" -.- ..
1) Stop yelling at the team you're supposed to work with. Talk with the team about it - I'm sure they'll listen.
2) If you demand being in meetings, show up - or at least decline in advance.
3) You have no right to rant about "not being part of the planning" when you were literally invited for a planning meeting 2 weeks in advance. No meetings were overlapping, so there's literally no excuse..1 -
daily.
PM/PO/SM/dev(new!): so i've continued working on feature X, i did this and that (shows screenshot of UI in Jira) and for today i'm planning to do XYZ. anyquestionsnothennextoneplease.
me: sorry, i have a question. did you persist your changes in our repo?
PM: no, not yet.
me: okay, please do this, you've spent several days of work on this. i mean, it's fine if build servers don't build it yet, that's what our feature branches are for.
PM: you're absolutely right, and i will definitely do it at some point.
me: at some point?
PM: yes. dev x, your update please.9 -
When the PO asks for a last second code change right before the sprint review, and now it's your turn to demo
1 -
I am just sick of the things that's been going on.
Joined a mid level startup as full Stack developer working on angular and node js . Code base is too shit and application is full of bugs(100+ tickets are being raised for bugs)
Since the product owner(PO) wants to demo the application he is pushing for bug fixes.
UI code:
1. Application is not handled for responsiveness all these years, it is now being trying to address. Code base is very huge to address though .
2. The common reusable components of UI has business logic inside. Any small change in business logic we are forced to handle in common components which might break up on another components.
3. Styling in 40+ components are made global. Small css change in component A is breaking up in component B due to this
4. No time to refactor.
5. Application not at all tested properly all these years. PO wants a stable build.
6. More importantly most of developers have already left the company and we are left with 2 developers including me.
I am not in a position to switch due to other commitments adds up a lot to frustration11 -
Being the only dev in charge of the project, makes you the one to be blamed for.
The God saviour, shiny armoured back end developer that joined the "team" (only me) to help into this new project Just Said in a meeting:
- "I wont code anything for this new project, I can't get the point of It"
So every meeting was
- "why feature X is not ready?"
- "I'm waiting the endpoint for It"
- "well, then mock It"
Now I fucking give up.
One month mocking things and "presenting" features that don't even exist. -
Me: we need to fix all these technical debt and prevent new ones from growing
Boss: this needs to be prioritized by product owner
Correct me if I'm wrong but a PO didn't see all the shit under the hood, (of a nice looking "car")... And by the time the engine starts choking... It's already too late?1 -
Just found this awesome function in the old commits.
def clean_cache():
'''
This function cleans the stored cache in every update. Make sure to call it before every feature addition.
'''
print 'Cache is cleared. '
return2 -
You are a developer and you will only log time you're actually working. This means you will not be logging time spent in meetings, chasing for specs, requirement clarifications and similar. You must log 8 hours each day.
^^-- wtf?!? Is anyone else working in similar conditions?12 -
I finally got my new Smartphone after going there personally to the courier
Seriously the couriers were lazy piece of shits and they can't even deliver to my address when it's perfectly valid.
Like couriers from my local PO and from Lazada/Taobao can even get to my house, what the fuck2 -
Product owner (who is also the application administrator): please build feature to allow administrators to create automatic alerts to be sent to application users
Me: ok
Feature gets built, tested and deployed to production
Two months later:
PO: I've noticed in our monitoring tool that there haven't been any alerts sent out to users. What's going on??
Me: well have you created any automatic alerts?
PO: umm, no. How do we do that?
Me (inside): 🤦2 -
Idiot mode: on
It's bad when you realize you are the most idotic person you know. I just bought a wifi card replacement for my laptop only to find out that one of the screws on its back was completely unscrewable. I foolishly decided to force my way through by forcing the plastic. I tought I got away with it as I only damaged a plastic support tighten to the laptop base but now, my laptop screen isn't showing anything.
When I first booted it up after this, it was working, but it started showing troubling signs shortly after. Now, all I can get out of it is a completely black screen, no backlight at all.
What should I do? 😥9 -
YOOO Product owner if you don't specify which freaking page something doesn't work I CANNOT DO ANYTHING FOR YOU!!!!2
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This is how Scrum works:
Three coworkers are in a Scrum Team. One of them is also the Product Owner and the Scrum Master... The PO decided this Monday that they need to add a new feature for the Tuesday night release, which is estimated at 80 hours. I told the other two in front of a manager that this is not scrum. Nobody gives a shit.2 -
Sometimes human stupidity still surprises me.
Today I was able to stop the release of a ticket at the last moment that intended to put urls WITH A SECURITY TOKEN TO ACCESS USER DATA through a link shortener.
Some PM assumed that it would be a reasonable course of action to map an url secured via jwt through to a 4 character, countable, base64 string so that we don't have to send multiple sms if they contain this url. I can accept that the implications might slip through one person but the fact that this was put into a ticket by a pm, prioritized by PO, estimated by an entire team, implemented by a professional developer, reviewed by a senior and then scheduled for release without anyone asking themselves if there might be a reason for a security token to be long, that one shocks me.8 -
Set up a personalized web front page for the news organization I worked for in the spring. Left it for the editorial staff to be tested and approved.
Didn't hear a word for almost a year when the PO asked for me to deploy it.
After a few days, the editorial staff started asking questions.
I really, really wonder what they did all those months before release... -
- UI Developer Interview
- 5+ years of revelant experience.
- Says pretty good at CSS
- Have not heard of box model.
FUCK INTERVIEWS. FUCK EXPERIENCE. FUCK EVERYTHING.
2 -
Hitting a really deep, deep low in the manic-depressive roller-coaster of the development cycle:
There comes the crunch time. No meeting goes by hearing the odious: "We don't have time for that." - One critical component needs to be finished for Big Sur and instead of addressing the real issues we keep changing design and goal. One main dev already gave up fighting the PO and team lead(!) - and now I'm next. So that dev build this really clean and minimal library as the core part. But now it's just like, yeah, take that nice Porsche engine put it on the old rusty bicycle from the shed,.. but maybe because that's so shitty we need that specially formed exhaust pipe to tune it. Yeah, very 'agile' - Only thinking about it makes me shudder in disbelief and anger. I shouldn't take that shit so serious, be emotional about shit code, I know, but I can't. Let them drive some rounds around the block, if it runs at all,.. because until now we still didn't make it run on the fuckin' street. It's all so insane. Will make some nice fireball, when it goes up in flames.
Well, I have been part of quite some shitty projects. Real suicide commandos set out to fail, and somehow stood them through or made it even "work" though it should never have. But what enrages me here is, that it needn't to be that way. We had plenty of time. Our team was often rowing along in good rhythm. And now I just feel drowned in resignation and sarcasm. -
At the product backlog refinement the product owner told us (the devs) how the database model must be designed! He said he knows it best, because he knows all the requirements. 🙈4
-
So apparently my team PO called me a git Ninja today. 10/10 gonna put this title on my office email signature now.
-
Me - 1+1 is 2
Client : Did you say 1+1 is 2
Because even i thought 1+1 is 2 and i think we should go ahead with 1+1 2 because that seems like a good thing to me.
***"1+1 is 2" can be replaced by some long tech discussion
#my brain hurts3 -
TL;DR fuck stupid people
I had to develop a rather simple Android app. It had to scan a qr code and let the user validate an invitation based on that code.
It had 2 fucking screens, one for statistics, one for the scan.
One week before going live
Product owner: The app is too complicated.
Dev/me: What?😶
PO: I want you to get rid of the statistics screen. Also make the text and buttons bigger. Also keep in mind we might want it back after.
Needless to say the app looks like shit with the exagerated font size.
At least it's so idiot proof that even a monkey could use it.😂1 -
This is just a temporary workaround. I will come back to this and fix this later. NEVER HAPPENS :)3
-
PO: Is it done yet?
PO: Whats the status?
PO: Any progress??
My brain: Did we have requirements for this, or just a deadline2 -
First time posting, hopefully I got this right!
So, we have that fabulous application that lets you update translations at will directly from within it. Of course, we also ship basic translations in perfectly indigestible PO files.
That particular client *really* wants to have his translations updated before going on-premise, but it would be too much of a hassle to put that in a CSV and import it into the app. Better ask the only developper on the project to update all PO files one after the other just because "we don't like that word, we'd prefer to see that perfect synonym there". Also, the rest of the project - aka the actual development - should not be delayed because of this.
And of course the translations are provided in the form of screenshots of part of the application with words highlighted in yellow over a white background. Good luck finding the right string in the right file.3 -
I would like to see a full stack developer version of it.
Found this on 9gag it's fucking hilarious...
-
PO: "Hurry the fuck up!"
me: "Well I'm sorry but no amount of wanting will speed up development. Development is complicated. Understand that".
Non-techies are super irritating.2 -
to whomever it may concern...
if i wanted to do code review keeping in mind how asshole you have been and made it my personal vendetta, i would not review it at all.
i would let you and your shitty code rot in hell. -
can't believe it but things actually have started to fall into place on their own, career-wise. feels unreal. need to work enough to afford a cottage with a cobblestone path & my life will be complete2
-
We have a standalone api acting as a legacy adapter to our actual api, and as you can imagine it's a festering hellpit of hacks and workarounds which is not intended to be maintained after its EOL.
I recently had a dream - more of a nightmare - where our actual api had to support the legacy calls indefinitely.
I told our PO about it as a funny anecdote and he gave me 3 days off. -
Many of them. Can't decide which one is the biggest.
- when the asshole in front of me picks up a call and is loud as hell. Wanna kick his nuts.
- Chats. Hangouts. Whatsapp. Just name it.
- retards who don't know how to google something or even worse..what to google and come straight to me to get a solution.
- My own fucking head at times. You start talking about space tech and i'll have to jump into it. And i end up wasting half an hour.1 -
If you're a PO; Please don't make the sprint review take almost 2 hours. Put it in text, make tickets, make roadmap and show it me that way. I've forgotten 90% of the meeting by the time I speak to you in the next daily.
I hate meetings. Waste of fucking time, especially when all you do is listen to what the PO wants for 1 hour and then both sides forget it the next day.
Use-fucking-less.1 -
So instead of drinking shit like Pepsi Max while coding on a weekend, and since it's so hot lately, I thought I'd buy a blender and some fruits and make frozen fruit drinks.
After unpacking the blender, I notice a booklet with a few recipes.
All I can say, is, ":/".
I'm thinking about making a frozen watermelon and peach drink right now. What do you guys like to drink when it's really hot (besides coffee)?
12 -
Product owner and scrum master prioritized a not important user story. We are just new to the assigned team without proper turn over, KT, vague user story(one sentence) and no time to prepare our local environments. Then after sprint 1 the client wants a demo by next month but the PO and SM had prioritized the wrong user story so now they are pressuring the developers on finishing fast the other correct important user story. They mismanaged it and now they say the development was slow thus blaming us?! WTF. We hit the deadline of the first user story with unpaid overtimes.
The other PO was always asking us on how to fast track the development lol.
I'll tell them all their faults in the next meeting. As usual we are just high paid corporate slaves with golden hand cuffs trying to escape the rat race.5 -
Around three months ago in a meeting regarding a new end2end test for a product :
PO: We have a full feature stop, only bug fixes are coming until we can unify all products.
Me : So I can use any selectors without worrying the whole thing breaks with the next update?
PO: Sure.
Last Thursday :
PO: Yeah, we gonna overhaul the entire UI with the next release to get better UX.
Why would any sane person reinvent an entire product thats already scheduled for discontinuation in 2018? And how is it possible that a few months ago nobody knew anything about it? Are they using fucking tatot cards for management decisions?1 -
Junior dev here. Finishing a boot camp, actively going through a few job application processes.
One of the companies has given me a tech assignment (for a Graduate Junior position, mind you) that was titled Full Stack Mid Level Challenge. It took me a week to build an app they asked and do analitycs and refactoring of the second part of the task (I only had late evenings free to dedicate to that), it was my first time doing back-end in Node (my boot camp teaches PHP) so I basically learned to do it while doing this challenge.
They asked testing and clean architecture.
I submitted the assignment (I thought I would die while doing it, exhausted, I think I was brain dead for a short perio of time, but I submitted it on time).
They got back to me and we had already have a tech interview with the Leads that had live coding at the end. Don't have feedback yet, really won't be surprised for whatever comes, it was literarly my first interview, treating it like a valuable learning experience.
But. This rant is not about this. Thsi is just to put you in my mood.
This is the !rant:
My classmate from the bootcamp is probably already hired, or will be one of these days. As a tech challenge she was asked to do FizzBuzz kata. I repeat, FizzBuzz bloody kata!
Now, I am very happy for this person, the situation is complicated and this job is extremely needed.
But, please, explain to me, HOW??? How is it possible that selection criterias vary that much?
End of rant. Thank you very much.4 -
#noestimates
I fucking hate doing estimates. It stresses me out. I just did it, for a requirement about migration. I'm on my way to a fight now with the PO, because "the estimated time is too long". There was an agreement that deliverables were not to have extensive documentation and unit testing will only cover 30% of each use case (I know, stfu), but that's gone so I have to do the whole thing. I estimated 160 hours coding time, 40% of that for docs and 50 for testing. I'm standing by it.
All that stuff aside, what bothers me the most about estimates is that there's lazy motherfuckers who say shit like "I can have their RESTful ws in 2 days, but I said a month, because fuck it" and generate a win-win situation for them and their company, because the client - practically everytime - will just argue for the task to be completed in barely 10% less of the estimated time, accept the proposal and be happy waiting, the developer will fucking dawdle and the company will be paid for more hours than it deserves. Ugh.
Fuck estimates.2 -
Developed a feature 4 weeks ago with a lot of requirements from PO, even more from QA, wrote beautiful code/tests, was actually happy after deploy since everything worked beautifully.
Sales increased a lot because of this.
Story created in Jira today by mentioned PO: As a PO I want to have that feature removed because it doesn‘t work in IE9. PO decides so I had to do this.
So: What exactly is the best way to hide a body?3 -
I fucking hate 1 week sprints that include review, planning, and retrospective, so technically the sprint is 4 days.1
-
I was hired with the promise of being able to grow by doing as a software developer. After one year of reminding them almost once a week that I wasn't being able to do any development, but put in a position where I was somehow a Product Owner, today we had a meeting where I was suggested as a PO for real for next year. Funnily enough, our manager laughed and said that he knew I didn't want that. But still... no other name came up.
Sometimes, even if you are capable of doing something and doing it right, if that's not what you want to do, you should do it wrong. Otherwise, if there is the need for someone to do that thing you hate but can do, you will end up being the one that does it.
PO my balls...1 -
Me: Wrote and unit testing code for a user story.
Day of a Merge
PO: We need to back out the code you wrote. We have not gotten approval from legal.
Me: Uhhh well it's not going live for 4 weeks still and not harming anything but if you insist, ok.....
2 Days Later
PO: Ok legal approved the changes can you put that back in?
Me: 😡🖕🏻1 -
So I have this PO who is able to understand technicalities. He is also able to use postman and has access to our code - don't ask why. He is trying stuff out with our apis, looking through code to understand parts of the software, etc.
So there are two sides of having a PO who is able to understand us devs on a certain level:
On the one hand you can explain why story x is taking longer than expected. You can even discuss in a proper way, which is nice. On the other hand is he a bit over the top: when we plan stories he already analysed everything, put code into the story and is telling us how to solve an issue or implement a story.
The sad part is that none of my colleagues seem to be bothered by the fact that he is doing my work.
And recently i even heard a sentence like: "I do not understand why this story should have 3Sp. Would be way lower when I do it". Well.. then do it yourself freaking idiot.
That goes so far that he tells other teams how to fix their code when there is an issue, because he has access to the code and can (unfortunately) read it..
Very unpleasant. :/ So: do you guys have/had the same issues? Am I overreacting?3 -
currently thinking about asking my boss if I can make a training / qualification for scrum master.
when PM is trying so hard to shove *his* scrum down our throats and at the same time tries to block any scrum-related criticism of team members that question his behavior as SM AND PO, then maybe convincing my boss to become the new SM and shoving ALL the scrum down the PMs throat is the only chance to have a (bit more) bearable working environment in this project.
in my opinion, he has too much power.
whatcha think? any SMs here, and do you like what you are doing?8 -
I really hate it when I work on a user story consisting only of a cryptic title: "Implement feature X".
Esp. when I missed planning during a holiday and can only wonder who in their right mind would have given it 3 points.
Why thank you.
Sometimes, just pulling the acceptance criteria out of somebody's nose takes days. It doesn't get better once I realize that not all external dependencies have been properly resolved. It's worse if there are other departments involved, as then you get into politics.
Me: "We are dependent on team X to deliver Y before we should have even planned this ticket. I'm amazed that our team was even able to estimate this ticket as I would have only raised a question mark during estimation meeting. We could have thrown dices during estimation as the number would have been as meaningful and I'd have more time to actually figure out what we should be doing."
Dev lead / PO: "I understand. But let's just do <crazy workaround that will be live until hell freezes over> temporarily."
It's borderline insane how much a chaotic work flow is branded as agile. Let's call it scrum but let's get rid of all the meaningful artefacts that make it scrum.1 -
Product Owner: Hey, can you guys own this incredibly fragile legacy app built with Grails, Angular and Mongo?
Me: No
PO: Go on. You can rebuild it!
Me: Sigh.. ok
- 6 months later -
Me: When can we rebuild this bloody app??
PO: lol sry no budget lmao! -
Stick to one project about which you want to learn but don't know how to do it,complete it...and now you have learnt something new
-
Someone should really close the COVID-19 ticket. Or at least make it ready for technical/PO review.1
-
Sitting 3h in a bullshit claiming and blaming meeting called 'refinement' as 'the tech expert' while PO and customers fight how stories and bugs should be priorized and importantly enough they discussed why the god damn bugfix isn't alive yet that was promised to be deployed this morning.. I was up to deploy it right the time they said I really have to go to that meeting... Yeah.. Business as usual
-
why the fuck no client underdtands that a native select input cant be styled to show fairies and angels. and the same goes with many other browser elements.1
-
SWE in fintech in MNC, job involves "bigdata' . Get paid >> avg
I FUCKING HATE IT. THIS PLACE IS A REAL DREAM-KILLER.
Size of the big-data ??? <50 GB ! Entire place runs on gimmicks and show off.
PO is a dumb cock sucker with minimal tech idea. He is busy sucking up business users and dictating us to rearrange tiles on reports all day long.
Fed up with all this shit , I decided to give GRE and apply for masters in Computer Vision .
For good GRE verbal score , I need to learn 1100 words , 90% of which I have never heard in my entire life.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ????????
Will my dream of working as a vision scientist for autonomous cars never come to life ???????
😢😢😢 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
Plz motivate me to get out of this shit-hole -
me: I need to install Firefox for automates test
ops: no
me: need it to run tests PO wants tests
ops: you can't as it is a desktop app
me: I need it because our selenium tests depends on it
ops: Firefox needs 200 other packages can't install
me: can I use Docker? and docker'ise Firefox
ops: ... some silence...
me: please
ops: it will complicate things
me: ಠ_ಠ2 -
I've a question. Has anyone in here ever be forced to use something as remotely frustrating as SQL Server Reporting Services (ssrs)? I swear it is one of the most convoluted piece of shit ever.
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Best part of being a dev is that you get to be part of an amazing community like devRant.
Also the kind of jokes and stories devs get to share and laugh about is beyond anything. 😍 -
Disclaimer!!!
Do at your own risk.
-----------------------------------
- Take a strong magnet, like a neodymium magnet.
- Hold it in your hand.
- Move your hand across a Macbook 15"'s keyboard. Say from left to right or vice versa. Almost touching they keys.
You'll see the screen dimming. If you just hold it there for a little longer, it'll lock your macbook. It's funny, but I am not sure if it's doing some damage to hardware.8 -
Anything from Udemy with instructors who don't speak CLEARLY, and instructors who fail to provide solid code explanations (ex: they just type some shit and expect us to understand what it's doing, and they move onto the next topic).
Add instructors who pretty much copy a tutorial verbatim - they just go through someone else's tutorial (without referencing the authors' work) and claim it as their own.
I'm sure I have more to add, but I'll stop here. :P3 -
If you write an editor or input field, and do not respect our Ctrl+Backspace expectations, I will turkey-slap yo ass, bitch.
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When you work for a multinational organization that's adopting scrum. We don't swarm, our PO isn't even in the same building, and one of your teammates hates git (loves TFS).
Fake it till you make it I guess?3 -
Our current project...
First three sprints... going fine and slow get used to each other.
Later sprints get more of a clear scope. With a deadline a couple of months later. The team raises some red flags with problems.
Seems like the PO/PM doesn't get it or ignores it.
More sprints later with more confrontations. PO/PM still doesn't get it.
Team introduces a new theme song
https://m.youtube.com/watch/...
Hopes she gets it now . . . -
4 months ago, my team had the task of redesigning the login page of our main app. Really nice design. Since it was fairly simple, it was given to one of our summer camp guys to do something useful. After he finished, it was stuck on merge request and no one bothered to check it, as it was not important for our PO's, it simply got forgotten...
Last week, since I was bored and remembered about it, I decided to check it and fix the small issues it had, without telling anything to our PO, just did it, asked for code review and added it to our latest release.
Today I overheard 2 guys from analytics team:
"Hey, have you seen our new login page?"
"There is a new WordPress developer so he just does his job well"
Our application is not in WordPress, only our company's website is!
Our application is in Angular!
There is no new WordPress developer! We only have an offer looking for one!
WTF2 -
Product Owner (PO) the problem with this sharing widget it loads slow and people might scroll past it.
Me: ok. Let's make it fixed on the side of the page so that it's always seen, but not intrusive.
PO: No. It's not how the brand should look. And it might cover 1% of the skin ad. Let's make our own widget.
Me: that would require to create several apps on social networks and maintain the code internally instead of using a centralised service that many people already provide. You don't have the money for that.
PO: sorry I got distracted by this bird outside the window.8 -
I'm currently the only dev that works with a client's dev team. That's not really how we usually work, usually it's a whole team of ours.
Three aspects why this sucks:
1) the client's dev team is made up of juniors and junior to intermediate devs. All of them are new to scrum. I therefore have to constantly support (dev & agile workflow), check all the PRs and have to think of everything in Refinement meetings.
2) the client's based in another timezone and the PO is super busy because we're the only agile team in their company. Therefore this is going to be the third Friday in a row where I have meetings until 6pm.
3) I also have a specific time frame I have to start working for my company, so I constantly work extra hours due to the time difference.
I'm just tired.4 -
Most of the mockery and derisive talk at lunch was directed towards: middle management. - even if they were present at the table.
I too, have struggles with our PO: he was developer but is totally out of our development, what he kinda accepts and lets us do our stuff... BUT from time to time he wants to meddle with our architecture even though he is not even capable of writing more than a sentence into our ticket description, and his only "vision" is the KISS principle. Totally triggers me.
On the other hand I am also part time working as a scrum master and thus get to know the shit show from the other side: sitting between all parties with their particular, contradicting interests - all that shitty "politics" you don't have have to care about if you just code.2 -
I finished school 3 months ago, Ive had a traineeship for those three months. Now Im employed at that company and they want me to be the PO of a project already. Ive never been PO, any tips?
In this Project I will be both PO and mentor for interns and Im gonna have to write code for the project as well.3 -
This project is just a complete clusterfuck... But nvm. We had to integrate a third party service pushing data into our system. Btw the service wasnt even working correctly. But that is just the tip of the iceberg. Its friday around lunch time. Message appears "what is the status of the integration?" Yeah havent started working on it. Last info was service is not stable. I doubt that this will be done this week. Next message from PO: "We will all push hard to get this done today and deploy to prod." Why? Because this dumbasses said to the customer this will be deployed eod. And by we you mean the devs once again doing overtime. Has this shit stopped? No. Like for the last two weeks its like we promised the customer xyz to be deployed tomorrow. Not a single dev was asked how long it takes to add this3
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I've got an enquiry for all you devranters. Is anybody here using WPF and XAML in their everyday life at work? If so, is it for legacy or new projects?
I'm interested.3 -
I get a chill or an eerie feeling when there are more programs open than needed and I go ahead and kill them.
Is it just me or happens to others too?2 -
Prank on me: at an Avaya training, my instructor decided to take over my desktop terminal screen and override any text I typed. I was like, WTF?! I thought my terminal was corrupted or something. Heh. I heard her laughing behind my back, and I gave her the evil eye stare heh. That's when I also learned about hacking terminals and how much fun that was. :P
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Lead developer likes premature optimization. Always forces me to remove a if here and there because "bad for the performance".
Now her optimization caused a base component to fail, ppl will have to spend the night debugging.
Best of all, it's my last day ;) -
Been using Macbook Pro for 6 months now for development work. Except for the retina display and the battery, I don't like a shit. I would love to go back to ubuntu and a normal keyboard layout.4
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Motherfuck oh clients! My goodness their requirements.
They want a tiny part of an app load inside an iframe in a different app and have the data communicate both ways and the ui should look seamless and mobile responsive too.
What the actual fuck? iframe in 2016 ? Seriously?5 -
I will train myself to be an avenger. In case things went wrong like ultron.
Anyone wanna join me?
Write your superpowers.3 -
Working on production issue,
Kind of nervous checking logs and so on...
Ops manager and PO who were looking over my shoulder this whole time start shooting the breeze.
I know what they were trying to do. They are trying to create a relaxed environment.
But the issue is that the talk is very distracting. If you want to shoot the breeze please go somewhere else.
Anyway just did that, asked them to leave. They weren't happy about it. But I really needed the silence. -
PO: Sure, use any tool to get the job done. You recon within 2 weeks to have a working demo?
Me: You bet ya
****1.9 weeks later****
PM: PO says to use another tool for this project.
Me: 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬4 -
We need a list of functions with an associated string, keyed by a sequential int. Neither can change between program versions. In fact, any changes align perfectly to program versions.
The datastructure: a list of string and func with statically known parameters
The solution my PO insists on: a class with static methods that have an attribute for specifying the number, and a database table of number to string. Whenever you need to pass around the list, you pass around a Type object of the class.6 -
Oh, hello dear PO. You suddenly wanted a change to be done after being silent for months?
Silly, silly you. I'm not some kind of rack you drag out of the closet whenever it suits you.
I am now assigned to another project. Your project can't be completed for months, and it ain't my fault. -
I have a disagreement with my product owner (PO). Our team develops APIs in Mulesoft. We've got a release coming up and PO wants to release one of the APIs that has *some* working endpoints, but other endpoints in that same API have some open bugs.
Given that it's *unlikely* that those broken endpoints will be used, does it seem like good practice to release the API with known bugs in it to hit the deadline?
Understand that we're not just releasing the working endpoints. We're releasing all of it, bugs and all. PO's logic is that those broken endpoints won't be used therefore it's fine to send known bugs into production.
I just need some advice in dealing with this6 -
Listened my PO talking with client and she explained why we did it the way we did (so the app user flow has more sense) ending the sentence with "... so if you look it that way, this is not a bug, it is a feature!"
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That's a good one!
Sadly, in real life, I'm overly polite (working on fixing that dammit!!) and always trying to stay professional. I have a couple of coworkers who not only need a scolding, they need someone to beat their idiocy out of their little brains.
I have on occasions told some coworkers off when they were way out of place. A recent one: idiot PO trying to micromanage the dev team and thinking he's manager of the devs, came to me personally (sudden Slack call, no calendar invite) with some bullshit feedback about ̶c̶o̶m̶m̶u̶n̶i̶c̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ CUMmNnicaTioN (I had to). Told him it's not his place to give me feedback and it's not his place to manage my time for me and ended the call aggressively which I don't prefer (it's always better to keep your cool and control your thoughts and words). My cholesterol level went up writing this.
Thank you and have a nice Monday!4 -
Its funny when your code is tested by your peers and they approve it and it works...and when you present your progress to your PO he says it doesnt work...hmmmmm1
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A game lover and anticipator of No Man's Sky. It's the shittiest, most boring, most repetative game i ever played. the graphics sucks. the game assets suck...the game sucks. The apparent lack of variety and stuff you can do will piss you off. This is thr game which could have been one od the best but turned out to be worst.3
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I'm on a project that has been off the rails for a few weeks. We're no longer working off tickets/the scrum board. Clients are asking for production servers yesterday.
Things are behind. Some people are working nights and weekends. I'm one of the people who are vary vocal about not working over time and I haven't worked a single night or weekend yet (we're salary exempt too; no extra pay).
I even bought up in a meeting how I was not happy about people being guilt tripped for not working over (our PO messaged me out of band a few weeks back telling me my teammates would appreciate me putting in more effort).
I agreed to work this Sunday and already regret it, even though they said there'd be compensation (without mentioning what that compensation is). I was also told everyone is doing it and that's not true either.
In my 18 years in IT, I've worked at ~ 13 companies. This one is in the bottom 3 for sure.2 -
People that commit large binary files to subversion... sigh...
(Banging head on desk waiting for binaries to finish downloading)2 -
How would you call this role? Product Owner? Graphics Designer?, Both? Neither?
I work for a small startup besides university and we do need a person responsible for how site looks. But then again we also need a product owner for the frontend. So why not combine these roles? A person who's responsable as product owner for all the frontend related bits plus does the designing. Initially this person would work with just one frontend dev, possibly more over time.
Question:
- How would you call this role/job?
- What would be an appropriate salary?
- How would you evaluate an application to this role?3 -
I figured it all out, where all the bad code comes from, I know it now!
I think good developers need two things, an ego that makes them wanting to be competent and perceived as such and (very important) a problem with authority!
All the bad code is written by people who wanted to be liked by their teachers. The PM and PO are their teachers now and they make everything possible for them. Technical debt and human costs are swept aside when the authorities want a stupid feature now - because they have to like you and you need to be a nice pet to whip! -
Just wondering on some agile best practices. Do you guys estimate efforts for defects? My PO is totally against it and says we deliver 5 to 7 pointers user stories + fix all the defects from previous sprint and current sprint, which I feel is over burdening the Dev team + in hurry to complete current sprint stories delivering poor quality work, which in turn become defects in the next sprint 😨 caught in this loop for a while now 😫4
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!rant
Any hololens or virtual reality / augmented reality developers here?
If so, mind sharing "lessons learned" experiences with VR / AR programming?3 -
A.I. Hacker. :P
Some big corps will hire me to hack the AI systems.
Option B: beach bum for life. And enjoy the low stress. -
I used to blast throught everything accademic in a really short time span. I used to push hard on the gas pedal since my college years, up to my bacheler degree. I was always on schedule with every exam, even graduated top of my class and first amongst my colleagues. But then, I felt the urge to change university, I moved out of my parent's home, in a far away city, and everything simply collapsed. All of the sudden, not only was I struggling with my exams, but, most importantly, I started struggling with telling the truth about it. I constantly felt in debt of my parent's efforts to put me through university, to have given me a chance. This caused a strange feeling in me, it was similar to a weird form of depression, I was unable to...act. To do stuff. To even wanting to do it. I started procrastinating everything. I lived at my parent's expenses in this far away town but all I could do was playing videogames. I somehow managed to get to the point that I only had three exams left plus my thesis, but I did this by avoiding all the real hard exams, somehow cheating myself. I was already two years behind schedule at this point, and willing to quit. I was desperate, I cried a lot, thought about running away fron everything as I fear the disappointment I would have caused by simply telling the whole story.
Thankfully I met my girlfriend who helped me realize all I needed to do was move back to my former university and take it step by step from there onwards. I almost didn't make it...again. But I was able to pull throught, I worked during the day, wrote my master thesis early in the morning and late in the evenings. I gave it all. And I made it.
I graduated last year and got a job in the industry. I don't feel as useless anymore. I still fear and dread what the burnout made me feel. How it almost destroyed all confidence I had in myself.
Tldr; I burned out right after getting my bachelor degree. And I stayed like that for years, up to the point that I ended up being years behind schedule. I was able to recover thanks to my gf but still fear and dread those feelings I had when I burned out. -
I worked hard to learn it so I can impress and then ended up loving way too much that it became my career.
-
Does anyone else feel like their brains aren't working, like they cant focus on anything and this has been going on for more than a week now?
I know there are things to do. I have gone through huge pain created github issues for those things but my brain just seems to reject the idea that it can solve those issues. Just feels like playing a game or just killing time would be best!
Needless to say I hate it.
Happens/happening with others?2 -
tl;dr:
What is a good start in go?
My wife wants to upgrade her coding skills from „I heard it at college“ to „I actually did something with it“.
I want to learn Go and start coding a bit more. My background is mostly C++ (Backend) and a bit Java (Fronted) some years ago before I went more into testing. For test automation I always use the language that makes the project happy, often Java.
We want want to join forces now, take a vacation and implement a small microservice in Go for my wife’s product (she is a PO) using pair programming.
I want to prepare that a bit. What is a good course or web tutorial to start, that some of you took and can recommend?
Thank you very much!!6 -
Which of the two jobs is better for a frontend Dev:
1. React project, stressful, bad communication, depending on bad internal libraries
2. WordPress theme building, higher paid, promising startup with stock options8 -
I'm in need of advice. I reckon this is no stack overflow but that's probably for the best as I wouldn't feel as comfortable posting there as I am doing it here. So, back to the question: I'm currently working with legacy code, written in .NET 2.0. This code is responsible for calling upon PEC services in order to finally create personal smart cards. I was tasked with the job of creating a repository system that would allow the program to call on the old legacy services or the new ones without any distinction. We are talking about SOAP services in both cases. The issues is: the new service definition is comprised of soap policies. This wouldn't be a problem per se, with more modern version of the framework, but with .NET 2.0? Yes, it is. It doesn't support policies and signing the body with a certificate right out of the box. How can I manage this? I feel like the only way would be letting the proxy class do its thing up until the very last moment: intercept the SOAP request before its sent and modify it according to the specifications. But I reckon this is very bad practice. Is there any other way out of this?
Thanks for anyone that would like to help. 🙂6 -
!dev but a parable
I worked at a Walmart Photo Lab with a Fujifilm photo processor. I had a guy ask for his pictures but they weren’t printed, I could see his order but there was no “payload” ( think PO header with no PO lines). He said he ordered 600+ pictures off his SD card, then blew them away because they were ordered.
As I had no physical pictures, there was nothing I could do but say “sorry”. He was mad, but there was nothing I could do.
Moral of the story, verify backups before wiping the system. -
“Let’s add another style/Layout for h2 so it looks like an h3. The content managers will figure out!” -client PO
MAYBE YOU SHOULD TELL YOUR CONTENT WANKERS TO READ THE FUCKING MANUAL -
Well my PO introduced the concept of owning stories (which we naturally used to do) in our pairing environment. After we gave names, we started seeing each other like seven different kingdoms. Suddenly my PO looks like Cersei. And I am looking like Theon Greyjoy, hardly worried about other stories and stuck with no pair to complete my stories. That's how pair programming died a casual death.
P.S : Tomorrow is my (our) demo !! 😭😭4 -
My lead developer requires object sorting, so {url, extraParams = { id = '1', hobby = 'code' }} HAVE TO be {extraParams = {hobby = 'code', id = '1'}, url}. Is that normal?4
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If you aren't involved in the fucking project and you are pushing other people to manage the project for you then don't fucking come and fucking complain about stuff that you could have foreseen if you were fucking involved in the first place!! fucking marketing people1
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Typical programmer on tuestay meetup with managers and PO: "Yeah it is done, it just needs to be finished completely."1
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PO writes a story. We groom it. Point it. Do the work. Finish the work. Dev test it. Push it to test. Tester find a weird edge case. Talks to me. I agree it’s weird. I talk to PO and the PM in the standup. PO realizes the whole business flow doesn’t make any sense. Changes the AC. Asks us to change/redo shit. 2 days until the end of the sprint.
I guess I’m working this weekend. Not that I have to go anywhere 🤷🏽♂️4 -
so what is worse than monday morning?
It's finding the right angle for your macbook pro screen because the office changed the fucking lights and they reflect more than ever.
AND THEY ARE BRIGHT AS HELL. MY EYES BURN!3 -
PO: "Remember guys, protect your scope!"
.. moments later, after the PO meeting..
PO: "I want you to do user story x but I want it changed this way"
me: "Ok"
*pling* notification: PO changed jira story
*I work on it for a few hours*
me: "Is this what you wanted?"
PO: "Yeah, actually I made up my mind. I want you to implement it totally different and scrap what you added now"
me: "Thanks for wasting my time bro"
me: *codes*
.. a few hours later, mid-coding..
PO: "Uh, yeah, changed my mind. The way you did it now is ok, but I want something else added"
*3 iterations of the same crap later*
me: "Sigh, make up your minds!"5 -
When you’re working under high pressure, a coworker writes you that you have a bug in the new feature which is blocking him and you start swearing about what an idiot you are...
And you then realize that this is the team chat with SM, PO etc., and not the private chat.. -
The PO asked if there were a couple of scripts he could run to get counts of specific things in the production database.
after a few days and iterations I'm now getting suggestions from him on how to create and drop temp tables -
So a third-party service that I implemented is going to production and me and the PO were testing that yesterday, didn't see any orders coming in the service backend.. so we send a mail to them.
This morning they respond with saying that they can't have both the test server running and the production server...
What the hell is this... :/3 -
I wish there were local boot camps. Sucks to travel to SF or some major city and pay for flight, car, etc, when others can attend since they're right there.
I would attend more of these if cities within a 2 hr drive could host them. -
One of our dev team had the task to do a bulk operation for thousands of objects.
So time passes by and they implemented it. But in acceptance testing they found out that this operation takes 4 minutes for 50 objects. This is not what we call high performant when we talk about 20000 objects per bulk operation 🤔
Well, their PO asked them to solve that performance issue. And guess what, they decided on their own that the issue can be solved to reduce the bulk to 20 items so that it only takes 2 mins to run!
Really guys, is that the best you can come up with?! 😲🤬1 -
Docker is giving me grief... again. Sigh.
I have a feeling docker hates me, just doesn't want to play nice.1 -
Best thing about having two screens and rectangle is that you can collect all the security pop-ups on the smaller one and just continue working till it's actually convenient to restart everything. (Like after the meeting)
Seriously corporate security measures are completely fucked. Not only did they manage to slow down even Go compiles to a crawl with defender and other crap. Just tried to write 6 words to our PO. Focus got stolen by 4 of the 6 words typed.
One of them demanding to restart Firefox and that one can't be closed or moved out of the way unless you have some fancy window manager tool. This isn't security this is harassment.4 -
Is it normal that my lead developer insists that if(x){return A} else {return B} must be changed to if (x){return A} return B, and a variable must be renamed from requestFn to requestFunc because the former is confusing?12
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When everything is taken away from you, and this might not happen for a very long time, just remember that you surrendered every ounce of control of your life over to those whom have been out to fuck you over since before you were born.1
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While you developers are where you are, battling office politics everyday, scrumming, agiling and solving some of the world's toughest problems, I, for the past few nights, have been sitting for hours in-front of my computer, slipping into hour-long day-dreams while trying to determine my favorite ice-block flavor.
All I can say, is, it's either the yellow, orange, green, raspberry, cola, or the fairy-floss one.
And now I'm out of ice-blocks. ;-( -
Working on a security testing tool that's purpose and use has been overstated by the staff engineer and product owner but no team wants to use it and everyone else in security second guesses if it should exist. Oh, also no documentation on how to use it, and you have to figure out how to use it. The tool has been developed and passed down from multiple people who each developed it differently and have all left the company now. No code reviews exactly exist so every functionality has been assumed to work my PO, SM and Staff Engineer, thus questioned when you bring up something that you're not sure works. Constantly redeploying to production at a timezone that's too early for your country but done to proviide minimal damage to the application for customers in case something goes wrong.
Upside is, you're leaving the team in a week and feel sorry for whoever is going to handle this next. -
Not only once i fixed our Prototype while PO was presenting it.
Of course we checked the App for our presentation data, but PO was always confident that it would work with random data told by the customers too.
Luckily i was able to fix it while lunch break. -
Context: I am leaving my company to work at a data science lab in another one.
My senior dev (with PO hat): we need to gather data from prod to check test coverage. You will like it as you will be data scientist hehehe (actually not funny). You will have to analyze the features, and find relations between them to be able to compare with the existing tests
Me: oh cool, we can use ML to do that!
Him: Nope, we need to di it in the next 3 weeks so we need to do it manually.
Me:... I have quit for something.... -
When PO lashes you to complete the project so they can begin testing as soon as possible, and you don't hear a word on the progress or get a single bug report because noone has the time to test it...
-
Think I'm being punished here...
first, the windows 10 update screen showed up... waited for that shit to finish... once finished, I thought, "that wasn't bad..." Then, THIS next screen shows up... "you've got to be kidding me!" So, it's punishment for not having opened the laptop in a while. :P
Yeah, it will be a wish come true, when Microsoft figures out how to do all this in the background... or something... so it's not painful to wait for updates to complete.
End of rant for the day.
2 -
Noticing that we have several stories in sprint that are scattered across the backlog, some are at the top, some at the bottom...
Me: I think we should prioritize the backlog.
PO: I agree; When do you think you'll be done?1 -
Why the fuck doesn't anything work anymore? I signed up for a service the other day and paid for it, and now I can't even log in. And the support is fucking useless. And now I have a cold. Fucking great.
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so i took a deep dive into my work at the previous company, the amount of effort i put in and the amout of new things i learned. At that time I was pissed every moment that I had to work there and it was such a pathetic place..but now I feel i created amazing things there. brought a smile today. Not a rant.. but something my fellow devs might have felt.
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Do you ever feel your job is too demanding compared to other software engineering jobs?
I've worked in two companies for now.
First company, Kotlin microservices and we had QAs, didn't have to write a lot of tech specs and no post mortem or on call at all (not yet atleast), it was just talk to PO, he tells the business requirement, we work together to make tickets, no legacy code so was easy to know what to do for tech, no monolith to handle or anything, much easier, just code and meetings.
Current job is meetings with PO telling you what he wants, have to write a full on tech spec and also know business requirements and product knowledge as the current PO doesn't know anything about how the products work, writing huge tech specs, communicating on requests sent my clients on slack, pretty much always firefighting, the system is so fragile and legacy, coding is actually less its mostly spending hours finding out how this shittt legacy flows work (no docs) , PO pretty much does fuck all, just wants meetings and wants us to do very very stupid tedious low impacts projects. This bundled with oncall and onpoint and the absolute sheer amount of incidents our team is involved in (on average we have 4 a week LOL, varying size but they're all very annoying) and the overtime oncall benefit is so bad too, if you do get paged out of hours, you just get that hour back during work hours. In other companies like friends, you get paid for the whole time you're oncall, whether you get paged or not. I can't go out anywhere on weekends or anywhere at all during on call in case I get paged, which happens a lot. Its a cluster of a mess. This bundled with manager stoll not wanting to promote me to IC3 despite all I've done so far.
My question is, is this more normal than I think it is? Is this just how crap our career can be? Mind you I'm in the UK so not getting those mind boggling US wages sadly either. Have US colleagues in same team doing same job but obviously getting more11 -
every fucking time when the product owners start talking absolute shit that you have no idea and you would never need to know or listen to.
ITS A WASTE OF MY FUCKING TIME. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND TAKE IT OFFLINE. -
2nd round,
For those of you who don't know .... I'm making a tattoo... I know nothing about cryptography, you guys have to validate how strong my messages are(this one should be weak as well).
hidden message:
'\\O=_HATGwUfEdhZX]uPO=?HATGwUfEdhZX]uLRL=O=rvOUmGHAq]ubLTGwUfEdhZXsVub=PO=rvOUmGHA`]ubTGwUfEdhZXsVu@O=rvOUmGHAq]PO=rvOUmGHA`]ubTGwUfEdhZXsqRTGwUfEdhZXsqbTGwUfEdhZXsq@TGwUfEdhZXu\\'5 -
Can a React.JS expert help me to understand something?
In short, I would like to know what are the main differences between react version 15.6 and 17, in terms of browser issues, and component compatibility?
We have a legacy code base that is in version 15.6 and the team wants to upgrade it and I am attempting to argue with my dumb CTO to upgrade to version 17. However, I’m not versed in react, I'm just a PO and the CTO doesn't know anything but for some odd reason is adamant about staying on an older version. The developers gave me their opinion but I'm interested in an outside opinion.5 -
Which should I choose:
Company A: much better pay and benefits, team seems nice, Glassdoor citing quite bad reviews about CEO and upper management.
Company B: current company. uninteresting field, team in distance, tech lead likes micro management and quite annoying in general. In middle of a project.5 -
Does it say something about a company if many of the devs in the team are employee-turned-consultants kept working in the same role?6
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Jest/enzym unit testing: My lead developer says using shallowWithStore instead of shallow on one incidence would introduce CPU overhead thus I MUST stop whatever I'm doing and fix the pull request. Is that normal?
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I am lately working on a Wordpress website (ouch, pain) for a friend as a side project and it is supposed to be multilingual. No problem, there are some plugins for it and thanks to one of my previous rants I found out the _e() function (still a stupid af name).
But I was wondering: given that I’ll have a lot of translations in some template pages in the theme, what is the standard way to do it? I have a couple of solutions in mind:
- single Po/mo files for every page
- as above, but with a script to merge the Po(s) before making the mo
Am I missing something obvious?
I was told to just use one po, but it sounds like hell to organise4 -
I could totally be a swimming coach, just not with kids, please...trying teaching them something it's simply umbereable.2
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My lead developer insists that an analytics value of "requestURL" should be window.document.location(which is an object) because in the analytics API doc it says this field "should be location of the current page, most probably window.document.location". Is she right?
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this happens when i am learning something new and however much i try, i cannot solve a problem, i go home and cook. Clean the kitchen in best possible way. Eat with peace and voila.. things start making sense. :)
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Currently our team is in a cycle of blaming the PO (indirectly) & feeling bad about it. He's really a nice guy and is doing his best! (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞
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Since HR does job postings on StackOverflow I'm aware that they have a landing page. ...did not expect that. 😀😀
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