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If you accidentally send out a porn link, your best line of defense is to send 10 more, then blame it in a virus.
In fact just make a virus at this point.14 -
git blame
git fired
git depression
git divorce
git homeless
git commit
git job
git house
git wife --better
exit11 -
Upgraded work PC to a SSD. Can't believe the difference it made. It's like a new computer.
Only trouble is, now I can't blame the computer for my slow work...
Maybe I can blame the RAM from now on.9 -
When something goes wrong at work, my boss will blame the first dev in his vicinity ...
Boss: "what the hell happened? why are the servers down?! This is unacceptable! Blah blah etc etc"
Me: "I dunno. Let me review if my CSS had anything to do with it" 😑😩4 -
If something works badly on macOS, people blame a specific application. If something works badly on Windows, people blame Windows.
🤔😶11 -
Begin a lazy fuck -> not taking the time to learn git while I've had plenty of time and now I still hardly know how to use it.16
-
I accidently spammed my own server from my other server, which caused fail2ban to go bananas.
Fail2ban sent ALOT of emails to my hostingproviders abuse department and they due to the amount of emails they got suspended my server.
I can't blame them :)8 -
#6
My client tells me there's a new bug with to-www-redirects. He yells they don't work properly anymore and tries to blame me. But fact is I know, they are well configured in the Nginx conf and therefore work like a charm.
I told him I fixed it and charged an hour. Motherfucker.
😓🔨 -
When the Sales team fucks up something, they point finger at each other for the blame.
When the Dev Team fucks up something, as a Senior Developer I say to my Boss that we fucked it up no matter whose fault it is and we will fix it up by x time.
When the SysAdmin team fucks. The Dev Team is to blame.
Sorry guys, I got a bit frustrated. All our servers wasn't backed up from last week and the SysAdmin guys are saying it's our fault.
What the fuck is going on? fuck you fuck fuck fuck fuck...9 -
I feel that people are quick to blame PHP for a lot of things. But come on, you have to admit it has the most straightforward debugging workflow:
Take a ritual knife out of your desk drawer
Sacrifice some blood to the PHP gods
Clean the knife -
Going through git commit history to figure out when *the programmer fucked up this code.
* I am the only programmer.5 -
1. Promise anything, everything to clients
2. Set unrealistic deadlines
3. Devs can't meet deadlines
4. Blame the devs
Anyone?8 -
Completely losing my shit over a 'class Predis\Autoloader already defined' error.
Just noticed that I already created the object five lines up
How fucking retarded am I?! I mean, I've been debugging this for a WHOLE FUCKING HOUR.
Let's just blame it on the alcohol 😅7 -
HW issue causing blue screens? Windows' fault.
Driver bug? Windows' fault.
A program crashing? Windows' fault.
"Forced" updates you could've turned off? Windows' fault.
You have no common sense? Windows' fault.
Your girlfriend leaving you? Windows' fault.
Let's blame Windows because I got nothing else to blame.28 -
Wondering around some code and I found:
// The next few lines of code should be fairly self-explanatory
// ...
Well if it were so self-explanatory then why TF putting up a comment here!!
Git blame file
Oh sugar it was written by me...1 -
I'm tired of everyone playing the fucking victim all the damn time.
Grow the fuck up and take responsibility of your fuck ups, not blame everyone but yourself.
God people piss me off these days12 -
That awkward moment, when you after several hours of debugging finds the error, types git blame and your own name comes up.3
-
Casually Client Team Asked A Developer Team,
What is your favorite game?
**Blame Game**, One of the junior developer murmured.
-
The moments when you grow the most as a person are those where you have a big axe in your hand, ready to shout through the office WHICH OF YOU LOWLY SPERMSLURPING JERKS FORGOT TO WRITE A FUCKING TEST FOR THIS METHOD
...only to see your own name appear in git blame.3 -
I officially cut ties with all my family.
Shitty, cringy, egoist people to ever exist.
They treat me like shit. Just use me as their slave all the time and when anything goes wrong, blame me for everything.
I consider you all my family now. Though we are virtual friends but you guys are better than real family.24 -
(Meeting with Client)
Client: The script you sent us is broken... It can't run... We can't test now. (Their supervisor even insinuated that I did that on purpose :/ What?!)
Asked for logs, googled for solutions. Moments later.
Client: Oh it's our server's problem.
:/1 -
-Look at super hacky code for 30 minutes
-Ask yourself, how did this ever work, guy must have been an idiot
-Check annotations, you committed it
-"Dear God past self, what have you done..."3 -
Ooh my f**king god! These privacy emails are getting out of hand now!!!!! I blame Europe for spoiling my inbox.10
-
Staying nice.
I care about the product we're creating. More than I care about the feelings of my coworkers... and that's not always a strategically sound plan.
Getting annoyed with someone rarely helps make them see things your way — even when you're objectively right, and they're absolutely to blame for all that is wrong.4 -
The fuck did you think was going to happen?
User: ITs dragging their feet which is why x hasn't gone out yet.
PM: Why hasn't this gone out yet?
Me: They sent me a template then another and then said wait that's wrong too I'll send you the correct one.
I've yet to receive this and no one's provided me the data to check over.
PM: Well that's not what x said.
Me: Well my email chain says so. (Proceed to show them the emails)
PM then walks off and blasts the users. Your #blamegame ended the moment you emailed me knob shits. -
If you wanna replace few of the carousel banners in your website, at least fucking send me the image with the same aspect ratio or resolution compared to the old images.
WHY THE FUCK YOU WANNA BLAME THE DEV TEAM WHEN YOUR GRAPHIC TEAM AND YOUR MARKETING TEAM IS SHIT?5 -
tfw...
• dude chews you out for broken code
• wait patiently for dude to finish
• head on down to "git blame" town
• show him that _he_ was the author of said broken code
• tell dude to take a seat
🤫🤫🤫2 -
Github Inc. (Feel good inc. parody)
=========================
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
(change) Fetch it (change), Fetch it (change), Fetch it (change), Github
(change) fetch it (change), fetch it (change), fetch it (change), Github
Repos breaking down on pull request
Juniors have to go cause they don't know wack
So while you filling the commits and showing branch trees
You won't get paid cause it's all damn free
You set a new linter and a new phenomenal style
Hoping the new code will make you smile
But all you wanna have is a nice long sleep.
But your screams they'll keep you awake cause you don't get no sleep no.
git-blame, git-blame on this line
What the f*ck is wrong with that
Take it all and recompile
It is taking too lonnng
This code is better. This code is free
Let's clone this repo you and me.
git-blame, git-blame on this line
Is everybody in?
Laughing at the class past, fast CRUD
Testing them up for test cracks.
Star the repos at the start
It's my portfolio falling apart.
Shit, I'm forking in the code of this here.
Compile, breaking up this shit this y*er.
Watch me as I navigate.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Yo, this repo is Ghost Town
It's pulled down
With no clowns
You're in the sh*t
Gon' bite the dust
Can't nag with us
With no push
You kill the git
So don't stop, git it, git it, git it
Until you're the maintainers
And watch me criticize you now
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.
git-blame, git-blame on this line
What the f*ck is wrong with that
Take it all and recompile
It is taking too lonnng
This code is better. This code is free
Let's clone this repo you and me.
git-blame, git-blame on this line
Is everybody in?
Don't stop, shit it, git it.
See how your team updates it
Steady, watch me navigate
Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Don't stop, shit it, git it.
Peep at updates and reconvert it
Steady, watch me git reset now
Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.2 -
1. Refactor shitty code because it is hard to maintain
2. Rant about how can someone write a code like that
3. Check commit log to see who is the person to blame
4. Found out that's me1 -
sync meeting:
dev: damn, the tests failed again
bossman: let's blame it on the neutrinos hitting the mainframe which flips a digit and causing the tests to fail this time!
dev: ok ...!3 -
So this customer wanted me to create an app using Flutter (user and admin), PHP for the backend, so I made one for him . He seems to complain he can't login to the admin account which he called me to registered for him right after the payment and weeks later.
With deeper investigation , I checked the log he drop the table where users authentication is stored and blame me about that. Which I fixed it lately by creating a table back.
Later I visit my account Shopee , he reviewed me as "THE WORST PROGRAMMER "
So I was like WHAT THE FUCK? YOU DROP THE TABLE WHICH LEAD YOU CANT LOGIN AS AN ADMIN AND BLAME FOR THAT?15 -
Fuck Uber!
I requested an Uber to take me Chicago Midway Airport.
They driver takes me to a different airport over an hour away! I nearly missed my flight because he didn't follow directions. To add insult to a shitty situation he charged me an extra $40 for his mistake.
This morning I requested a refund and noted the driver took a long route. They had the nerve to reply and blame it on me! Claiming the drop-off location was not the location original specified. Mother fuckers I have a screen shot!
I am astounded that they would stoop to such low levels as to shift the blame to me. I suppose they were betting I didn't have a screen shot.
Well, time to try lift!
7 -
Him: "No developer worth his salt puts each of his brackets on a new line."
Me: "I mean... I agree it's uglier but your whitespace commit means we git blame you for everything."
Him (upset): "You BLAME me? I'm sorry I have standards."
Me: "Not blame blame, git blame like the history view of the-"
....too late he reverts his commit and hates me for life.
I wasn't even disagreeing, I was trying to explain git blame. :(17 -
My friend was approached by a client who insisted that his website should be in WordPress to facilitate future maintainability.
That's how y'all end up having to maintain those awful pieces of mess. Blame the client, not the developer.7 -
*Extreme security measures on the backend, it must be failsafe, every db is as redundant as possible, generated salt, 2fa, everything*
*Forgets to add a case for {"key":""}*
I would blame it on the team but i built the entire backend myself.1 -
Me : Who wrote that monstrosity of code ? I’m going to kill someone!
Git blame !
Me : Oh never mind, it was me 4 yeas ago.
9 -
To anybody that didn't look through the entire chrome dev summit (lucky you and I don't blame you for it) - some very interesting gamified resources for css grid, service workers and flexbox:
- https://www.gridcritters.com/
- https://serviceworkies.com/
- https://mastery.games/p/...2 -
Every time I think
"Who the fuck coded this peace of garbage"
And then git blame the file
Only to see that it was me... 3+ months ago2 -
When you stay up late doing a personal project the night before a workday -- knowing damn well you're going to be too tired to do anything the next day -- and have no one to blame but yourself 😁2
-
How many times have I ask my boss about the new project's deadline only to get "it has to be done by yesterday". Damn, boss, if you know, that we are occupied, then don't get a new project, only to blame the coder for promising an impossible deadline to the client!2
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IMHO: all the hate on Katie bouman is absolutely stupid. if you want to blame someone, blame the media for portraying her as the sole person on the project. She never once took credit only for herself and always mentions that it's a team effort. And what the fuck is so wrong that the focus is on the woman engineer anyways? If this was a man, no one would give a shit that he "didn't give credit to his team"6
-
I was pressued to shift the blame.
We received an angry email from a customer that some of their data had disappeared. The boss assigns me to this task. This feature is relatively new and we've found some bugs in the past in here. I go through request logs, search the database, run some diagnostics, etc. for about 5 hours and I cannot find the problem. I focus on the bugs that we've had before but they don't seem to be the problem.
I tell the boss "sorry but I checked XYZ and I can't find the problem. I'm out of ideas." But the boss wanted answers by the end of the day. They did not want to admit to the client that we couldn't figure out what's wrong.
By now I was more pressured to find an answer, find something or someone to blame it on, not exactly to find the real solution. So I made up some BS:
"Sometimes, in HTML forms, the number inputs allow you to change the number by scrolling. We have some long forms where the user has to scroll. Perhaps the focus remained on the number input, so when they scrolled down they accidentally changed the number they meant to input."
The boss was happy with that. We explained this to the customer, and there's now a ticket to change type="number" to type="text" in our HTML forms and to validate it in th backend.
A week later another customer shows us a different error. This one is more clear because it had a stack trace, but I realise that this error is what caused our last error. It was pretty obscure, mind you, the unit tests didn't detect it.
I didn't tell the boss that they were connected tho.
With two angry clients in two weeks, I finally convinced the boss to give us more time to write more unit tests with full coverage. -
# Who the fuck wrote this piece of shit static, unreusable yet globally used, inconsistent, non-standard mock that breaks whole fucking test suite and makes me cry everytime I correct one thing only to find out it breaks another? I swear to god motherfucker I'm gonna find you and fucking cut you. Fuck you you fucking idiot and fuck your entire family if you still have one though I doubt anyone would ever want you for a son. [going on for a few minutes in my head] #
$ git blame
# well fuck you "me from 2019-11-15 15:30:25 +0100". I fucking hate your guts and I want you to know it #2 -
"The client has reported {some problem}. Do we know what has caused it?"
Dev: "{explanation} is the cause"
"Ok, was that caused by a recent change?"
Dev: "No, the system has been like that since the start"
"Ok, but who did it? Was it some recent work?"
Dev: "The system has been like that since the start"
Constant fucking blame and finger pointing.
Fuck off. -
Whatever you do, don't do this.
- a sleep for 300s to avoid full 24 hour rollover (lol)
- sleep 1d instead of cron; so at random times emails will be sent out or they won't at all
- this is a laravel project, there's a thing called task scheduling: https://laravel.com/docs/5.8/...
Git blame: https://github.com/invoiceninja/...
The actual core project docs at least tell you to setup a cron, though not via * * * * * nor task scheduling, which isn't as much of an issue though as their dogshit docker compose: https://invoice-ninja.readthedocs.io/...
6 -
Worst thing I've seen a Dev do? Blame others even if it shows in the git blame that it is his fault 😂 no equality, ego and hard headed. Wants to show every one that he's always right 😂 well good luck with karma. What an attitude lol
-
So I take leave for a day right.
I come back to the office and my teamlead asks me to start running tests and in the same breath he adds, "so I added SOME code so that it would cater for the annoying popup".
I said cool and made nothing of it.
A few minuts later he stands behind me asking me why its so slow and my reply was.....
"Well I wasn't in yesterday and you added code and it wasn't this slo... "
Words arnt even out of my mouth and he starts shouting at me
"DON'T SHIFT BLAME!!! Don't Shift Blame."
Well okay then sorry...... I guess.5 -
I don't know who this "you" guy is on all of these git blames, but he's a real asshole for writing all of these bugs.1
-
1. If you dont know, say: Let me check that and get back to you.
2. ALWAYS use legit test-data and test-images.
3. Never argue ten minutes about something you can fix in ten minutes.
4. Fuck blame or glory. Just refactor and commit and feel proud about youself.1 -
My company’s code base is so messy that the dev branch and master branch is so buggy. But they put the blame on me as usual.
I use git blame, I wasn’t the author .7 -
Looking at git blame, I think I broke a feature 8 months ago. Not obviously broken, just one of the data fields is empty in one of our calculations.
I don't know if it's better or worse that nobody noticed...11 -
Being the only tech savvy person in class can be the worst. If someone gets hacked they all blame you...6
-
Fellow web developer loves to blame any css mistakes on the users "browser" or my favorite, "oh that must be a PC thing it looks great on my Mac"
*Facepalm*3 -
A few years ago, a fellow programmer called me to teach him how to use git blame to find out who wrote that piece of code that broke the monetary ecosystem in this game. He was pretty upset about it because they blamed him about it. I gladly helped him just to see my own name there. Sad story.1
-
So we have a bug.
Yesterday I spend the morning sorting through other people's code to find out what is causing this bug report it to team leader once I find it. He asks me find out who made it and hunt them down! So git blame... Turns out it was him :S felt awkward mentioning it to him so didn't. 5 minutes later team leader "oh it was me" -
I provide hosting for my clients. About 3 months ago I discovered that the hosting company that I'd been using had been swallowed up by EIG, which explained why the tech support had gone downhill.
So, I jumped to another hosting company. Same shit different company!
Apparently the fact that my browsers sit at "connecting" for up to 30 seconds, and I get a "could not connect to" message half the time while I'm trying to fucking work on a deadline is the fault of some plug-in in a WordPress installation!
Oh yeah? Why then does this shit happen when I'm working on a pure html/css site?
Why then did it start happening after they "updated" my shared server?!
Oh, but the bastards suggest that I buy Cloudflare or pay for more space!
You fuckers made my work take 3 times as long, and you made an important migration fail!
Network places make mistakes. We all do. That's cool. Fucking own up to it, talk to me like a techie, and DON'T TRY TO BLAME IT ON ME OR MY TOOLS!
Fuck you! I think I'm gonna give Google Cloud a try, and do this shit myself!7 -
“You’ll be working in a fast-paced environment…” ALWAYS means “We’re incompetent, we don’t realize it, we don’t hire enough people to spread out the workload, we don’t have a real process, and we’ll blame you, the new guy, the first time something goes wrong.”4
-
FFS stop squashing commits. If “updated comments” is what the commit was it should show it in git blame. If “fixed null check” is what the commit was it should show it in git blame.
There is no reason to have “ticket-234 service revision” beside 1000 lines of code. How does anyone justify this loss of git info for the sake of “clean history”? Nobody looks at your history and says, “That is bloody clean git history I should write home about it.” People do however look at the code and say, “I wish I knew WTF they were trying to do on that line.”12 -
From fresh experience, IF you are learning Git I would really suggest you fully learn it from a professional before really using it. So you don't accidently delete 1,5 weeks of work like I just did :))))))))))))7
-
My friend left his project work and I undertook it. Contained a mysterious folder named " open only when you get frustrated".
When the time came, I opened it and saw a text file along with a folder. The text file says, "Blame the predecessor for the code", and the folder was named, "open only when you get frustrated next time".
When the time came, it contained yet another text file along with a folder. The text file says, "Blame the project owner", and the folder says, "open only when you seriously get frustrated".
Finally, the time came, the folder contained only one text file, and to my surprise, there wasn't any folder. The text file says, "TIME TO MAKE THREE NESTED FOLDERS".1 -
Working with somebody else is great, because there is somebody else to blame, on the other hand there's somebody else to blame..
-
Comment of the week! I'm so sad he didn't catch the reference, but if the guy offers to teach him I'm down to learn 😂
On another note I can't blame him, I probably would have run npm -i gamma 😅
7 -
Just had a person ask me:
"Do I need to install crack for Netbeans?"
P. S. : Can't completely blame him, because Windows user.7 -
Waterfall Project Stages:
Requirements, Analysis, Design, Coding, Testing, Operations
When you promote project managers to program managers and tell them to switch to Agile, you get the Agilefall project stages:
Best guess, Timeline, User stories, Execution, Blame the devs when the project plan trends late.
I want to beat them with a copy of the PMBOK wrapped in lead.3 -
Aaaa stop this issue with renaming everything furcubimofawasggkdjgdkkf whitelist blacklist git blame and the master of em all, the main branch3
-
Rant!
A colleague bought a mechanical keyboard to the office today.
Pro: if you miss a deadline you can blame that colleague.
Con: schizophrenia.7 -
Programming commandment: Thou shall blame all bad code on thy comrade who has bequeathed your company!2
-
WTF Apple!? Yet another update? I use the iPad mainly to catch up on some light reading while doing a number two. But as of late, I've spend more time watching that line grow under your logo. I blame you for my haemorrhoids, you stupid piece of fruit!!1
-
Spend 10 minutes patiently waiting for a progress bar to gradually make its way to the end, only to reset to the beginning and start all over again. Realize you actually have NO idea what the actual progress is or how long this is going to take and that the first progress bar was actually just representing the progress to this realization.
-
ummm okay?
Can't blame them really. Most of the people are too stupid to understand that they have to press okay to proceed.
5 -
Some people get ego boost when they get positions like team lead or manager for software development team. In a nutshell you don't know shit about programming how the fuck you became tech lead? You fucked up the entire project that you managed and now shifting blame on someone else. Well fuck you!10
-
When you spend an entire day debugging the client side halfway losing your mind, then you realize the 3rd party service API is to blame.
UUUggh!1 -
We all love that colleague that swears he didn't make the method that's making 2 different functionalities not work 5 hours before the deadline even when git blame clearly shows he was the one to make changes.
-
I HATE PROJECT MANAGERS
They are so busy with their “schedule making” they skim over details and then blame us developers2 -
a lot of devs just don't have the first clue of what they are doing
they haven't put in the work
they'll blame absolutely everything else (language, framework, pattern, etc.) instead of actually putting in the work and making it easier for themselves
sad9 -
Freelance client calls freaking out because she needed the website changes done by yesterday morning because she had some huge meeting with potential investors....
I feel bad but I don't, she never told me anything about needing it done by Sunday morning.
This is exactly why I hate freelance work. Lack of communication and then they blame you5 -
Got into a fight with a teammate last week (acting PM, she was) over how she basically failed to do her job.
Got blamed for talking about it by project owner. (basically, they wanted to make themselves feel good by passing down the blame down the blame chain... But I rebelled)
... Don't want to walk into the same meeting tomorrow. 😢😔😞8 -
I just broke the software I am working in and I don't know how. Like seriously. I didn't change anything. It just stopped throwing the error I am supposed to be fixing and started throwing a different one. I blame ghosts.7
-
This is getting WAY out of hand.
So I pay for 100/100 internet right.
I get 3/17...
This has been happening for half a year now...
The closest other ISP is 200km away......
Gonna confront them but they're probably just gonna blame my 2 year old 200$ asus router for being "too old"/"too slow".
😂🔫10 -
I am both happy and sad looking at the code I wrote some time back. It makes me realize how much I have learned and at the same time how stupid I was.1
-
I named an alias variable feedItem in my database query but I keep accidentally typing feetItem. I have no one to blame but myself.1
-
Italy:
"Here's your collective contract, you get paid like everyone else in this job regardless of your experience or proven skills"
Can't blame anyone for getting out of that hellhole -
Do not, I repeat... DO NOT approve a pull request that you cannot adequately review. You're more to blame than the person who wrote the code in the first place when it fails.
-
A haiku, written in NodeJS:
This is the first line
This is the third line
This one is the second line8 -
There are 2 types of people that I can't stand:
- Designers who thinks they can do the front-end as they use Photoshop
- Programmers that thinks the front-end is easy enough as put random bootstrap columns everywhere
Then when something doesn't work, they blame the front-end developer.
Try to communicate more, assholes, and do your job.6 -
> Moment you thought you did a good job, but ended up failing
> Times the bug wasn't actually your fault
> Times you took the blame for a junior or other dev
> Times someone took the blame for you
> Times you got away with something you shouldn't have.
> Most valuable data loss
> The bug you never fixed
> Most satisfying bug to fix
> Times where a "simple" task turned out to be not so simple
> Debug code left in production?
> Moments you wish you could undo
> Most satisfying optimization
> Have you ever been ranted about? -
Fuck office politics!
Fuck the backstabbers with the knife that vegan black metal chef is using!
Also fuck those blame-gamers that blame other people from the team constantly but stealthy, you know the kind, the one that poisons everyone little by little by its subtle toxicity!5 -
I blame JetBrains team Everytime I work with sublime. Those wasted hours trying to figure out wtf is going on with my code and my only mistake is that I forget to save my work....1
-
I was hired to a working team that is full of experienced people who know how to code but half the team is awfull at solving problems, and all they do is blame each other... why cant they understand we are one team and rather work on solution for 30 minutes they spent deciding who fucked up...2
-
Worst Hackathon Experience ever!
Had been to SAP for a hackathon last year. Built a complete solution for our challenge. Due to no sleep and 48 hours of non stop coding, my team mate who was supposed to present our solution screwed it up in the last minute. Now we blame ourselves for losing because of our bad presentation. -
A new currency is emerging in our industry. It is called "blame".
Who is to blame if we don't meet the deadline?
Who is to blame if the rushed release has x bugs?
Who is to blame if nightly build breaks, because our CI-Server is an old hunk of junk and "management" didn't approve the upgrade?
Our customer blames the delay in HIS infrastructure on us, because our system requirements are too high.
Blame blame blame. This currency is the new idol of our management team. Everyone gets blamed. They manage their "blame" ledgers instead of approving the tools we need or give us reasonable deadlines. Why Lord, oh why are there SO MANY MORONS in managment? You know what, dear "managers"? FUCK YOU., FUCK YOU SO HARD YOUR MOM WON'T RECOGNIZE YOU. YOU COULDN'T POUR PISS OUT OF A BOOT WITH INSTRUCTIONS ON THE HEEL.4 -
“A system called COBOL...” got a shout out on CNN. 🙄 Blame the IT departments for cheap ass lawmakers providing funds... I hate IBM as much as the next breathing human but damn 😡😡2
-
Your UI doesn't render as expected...
You blame RecyclerView...
You blame ConstraintsLayout...
You even blame f**king ImageView...
Turn out the culprit was VectorDrawable...
You try to blame VectorDrawable but your inner self knows that it's your lack of proper knowledge of VectorDrawable....
You feel sad...
You push your code to git and go to sleep.1 -
Bitbucket full of dicks!!!
Dude just pushed merge conflict comments!!! At first he was like I did not do it, so I was like git blame bitch! Now he is like it wasn't my fault so what I used force push!
Well that was it I will leave this unholy company!1 -
When leaving for the day on my last day in the company.
I thought what I learned here? nothing technical except how to survive the politics, backstabber, betrayal, blame game and getting used.
I wish it could be added as skills in CV.2 -
Learning AWS, and it took me 2 hours to figure out that I can't connect to my database because I forgot to press the button to allow public access
I partially blame amazon, because a button that important shouldn't be so small and hidden, but I'm still an idiot6 -
Smashed the screen on my beloved LineageOS Moto G4 last night.
(Alcohol may be partly to blame.)
Any suggestions for a cheap Android phone with a stable release of LineageOS?7 -
devRant mini rant... Only myself to blame
I wear flannels all the time :( but don't have 1000
Thanks devRant for awesome content, I will get the flannels soon!7 -
When a client asks us to support IE 6 can we start noting that there are some fucking useless clients out there and that Microsoft is inflicted with more of them than most? The continued existence of IE 6 isn't really down to Microsoft---it's down to their useless fucking customers.
So, let's beat those people with a stick until they upgrade to Edge.
At that point everyone can return to fighting about FF, Chrome and Edge---apart from me as all browsers seem to support cat JPGs.4 -
Take over responsibility you fucking morons!
We are the engineering team and we cannot know how you operate our product in every detail. And for god's sake don't blame us when shit happens in production when you don't test upcoming deployments by yourself! -
I don't know If I should blame Gradle and the Android emulator for my computer freezing (cuz out of memory), or I should blame myself for not having a powerfull enough comouter?12
-
Me: Who wrote this fu$$in mess of code? Never mind, we will get the dirty hacker.
*Runs git blame*
*Silence*
Me: What a innovative way to solve the problem! I'm a genius! -
Learning the most efficient positioning with CSS grid, somewhat feels like my whole body is dying with an alarming rapidly increasing speed.
While talking about speed, this must be the shit that makes our youth turn to heavy drugs.
I can't blame them.1 -
All I want was to turn on my PC and relax while playing my fav game after an exhausting day... but noooooo!!! Game can't start due to an app hang. Blame win10 for that...1
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Tell me to work with the most critical feature of the project. So critical if not done right people can die! While working on it I find many poorly written requirements, I notify the leads about this. The whole thing is re-scoped and the feature is completed. I expected to become a senior after this but unfortunately only find out they put the blame on me for poorly written requirements that other people had written which I corrected... fml1
-
"When developers encounter confusion, they usually blame the language instead of their lack of understanding."
I love this. It's from the You Don't Know JS Book Series that I'm reading. -
If there's something wrong in the server room
Who you gonna blame? (the intern)
If the hard drive's grilled
And it don't look good
Who you gonna blame? (the intern)
If you're seeing keys in your'r github's HEAD
Who you gonna blame? (the intern)
Your PC's on fire
and the website's dead
Who you gonna blame? (the intern)
Disclaimer: My internship was a pretty cool time actually... :) -
Product owner and scrum master prioritized a not important user story. We are just new to the assigned team without proper turn over, KT, vague user story(one sentence) and no time to prepare our local environments. Then after sprint 1 the client wants a demo by next month but the PO and SM had prioritized the wrong user story so now they are pressuring the developers on finishing fast the other correct important user story. They mismanaged it and now they say the development was slow thus blaming us?! WTF. We hit the deadline of the first user story with unpaid overtimes.
The other PO was always asking us on how to fast track the development lol.
I'll tell them all their faults in the next meeting. As usual we are just high paid corporate slaves with golden hand cuffs trying to escape the rat race.5 -
Wasted two hours to end up finding out EF Core had a bug :\
Next time better blame Microsoft before blaming my code lol
https://github.com/aspnet/...9 -
Runs linter
168 files changed
"Yeh not gonna commit that because other will think I worked on it and send questions my way, I rather live in peace"2 -
I don't wanna blame Linux. I am just gonna blame my HP stream 13. You petite useless beautiful blue girl. 🙄1
-
find that comfortable spot between
not having a manager and being free to do stuff as u see fit.
and having a dev manager who can take the blame when things go south1 -
Set up an account on cPanel to show the client their final product. Set the bandwidth limit to a low number so that the client can only view the website once and so that if something is not right, I can blame the bandwidth error.
After the client reported an issue, fixed it before resetting bandwidth limit. -
Being able to confidently say infront of the CEO that everything you implemented is working just fine, while their business is standing still because another software company fucked up almost everything, having tried everything to blame us for the errors, reminds me of why I’m doing this shit.1
-
Just fixed my broken htc one m9 (boot loop after legitimate update) by powering it up month after putting in back to box for future repair. Who to blame? NSA? Android 7? SD Card?
-
The first 30 minutes of a working day often consist of me saying, "who broke this then?" Then a liberal use of git blame.
-
When the browser autocompletes your honeypot and some users now can't login...
Happened to my colleague today, can't really blame him too, it's an effective trap...2 -
The national socialists are the people who whine about how foreigners are the tool of the elite. Populist ultranationalism is what we see coming back.
Idiots who blame foreigners and "communists" and the trans lobby for their oppression instead of attacking the ruling class. Cowards
2 -
mother fucking is this joke I work on everything and credit goes to PM. Is this is a joke? What pm will do if developer doesn’t develop then she will just blame I got bad developer.1
-
Project is dammed, is broken, we complain about it for almost 3 months, daily, code is old and client is full of bad practices and is always searching for a way to blame us for his failure.
Administration decides that best solution is motivate meditation techniques on dev team1 -
I know I'm going to get the blame 🙄...
They transferred a domain didn't tell me they were doing it then now they are with 123reg ... shit web hosting
On top of that the dns wasn't transferred over so currently the old site is dead 🙄1 -
It bothers me far too much when I see people double clicking on ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.
Oh your browser has opened twice, yeah blame Windows.1 -
The new (mobile) google results design looks horrible, what were they thinking when they applied *{border-radius:5px;}? 😷4
-
Client : Couple of new features are added. Check out the documentation. Deliver the product as discussed.
Me : I doubt that. With new features it's definitely take one more week than discussed.
Client : Don't glam blame. It shows the work Quality and you are Incompetence.
Me : !?!?!???1 -
Going back to a project from a few months ago, a fellow dev has committed 'test this' comments with my name...
Hitting up git blame shows my tests were written 2 weeks before! If you're gonna be passive aggressive, at least do it right :/ -
so that's how it is... 2,500 seats and no place for me... I don't blame anyone, just sad about it 😭
'Google and Udacity have developed a variety of free learning resources for you'... yeah of course, no need to apply to the scholarship because you provide free learning resources???
1 -
This is really annoying. My single manual test takes 10 minutes to run. Can't blame the task because its big, can't blame me, code optimization is not necessary and won't speed anything up. So here writing a rant waiting for it to finish1
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My team: please read that article about blameless postmortems, there's a lot we could take on board to improve team morale
My team extra-passive-aggressive at the first incident: why did you do that? That was never gonna work3 -
My server is taking 7 minutes to boot with an ssd 🤔...
Time to systemctl blame the shit out of the system and figure out what config I messed up!9 -
Here we go, the winter is happening #BecauseItsAlreadyComing
The Fcuking Stereotype of MDFK Projects Deadline was not achieve, everybody starts throwing blame words, the management had their heads burned, aaannd... This is nearly 11pm I'm enjoying my chicken Satay and I don't give a fcuking damn with this situation. #MyCodeMyAdventure
lets have a junkie dinner my fellow devRanters! 😂
3 -
Don't blame the teachers, they don't know the latest technologies themselves, they are mostly graduates, who have almost no work exp, so they might not know latest technologies or how to use em, neither do universities fund them to learn them
P.S. Not a teacher, just put yourself in their shoes2 -
i need to reinstall windows 10.
but i don't have an ISO.
ok i will Use Media Creation tool from M$ to get one.
I selected to burn directly to USB
and 1 hour and 50% later the AntiMalware blocked autorun.inf and mediacreation tool crashed
fuck fuck fuck fuck
so i'm still here waiting....
but this time i selected to download the ISO and i will burn it later.
i don't know who blame the antimalware or MediaCreationTool.....
i think that i will blame both.2 -
Working in the industry for several years on dozens of projects with little to show. Between clients who can't pay, who abandon projects, who have scope creeped out of control, or are just plain slow to respond, my actual finished project output seems like 25% and somehow we're the ones who get shouldered with all the blame.
-
Nobody can stop me from deploying an incompletely tested PHP website. If something doesn't work, blame PHP because this abomination shouldn't allow to run shitty code anyway.2
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To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Found this on reddit once, so true about most people. -
Tiktok hearing. What a shitshow and blame game. These idiots who don't produce anything crying foul, meanwhile facebook, instagram, google, bing does the exact same thing.
It was a predetermined kangaroo court. Reflects of the US decline. And yeah idiots who also don't build anything will complain about tiktok without understanding anything.13 -
How the fuck does a community write an open source library/package that works wonders, but fail to write a proper documentation.
So many times I have to look into the core of frameworks, libraries and packages so form my own documentation in my head.
I guess I should be contributing too.
We are all to blame.1 -
How many of you still use devRant UWP (my third-party client for Windows)?
If activeUsers > 0 {
How many would like & would use a Windows 11 update version?
}
else {
Never mind, I don't blame you
}12 -
Never lose your confidence as a dev, especially when those fucking managers tryna blame you for anything that goes wrong in the system or just wanna make you feel like shit.
This goes out to y’all managers. Fuck you!!! -
My Office Sucks. They give me impossible deadlines, and never properly test my code. And when it breaks in the production, they blame me.5
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Coding taught me to be patient, understanding, and accept my mistakes.
Don't blame the computer when things are going wrong; it is just doing that it is being told to do. If you acknowledge that you might be to blame too, sit down and have a calm conversation with it (debugging joke😂), things will be alright. -
Was stuck on a bug, took 2 days still couldnt fix it. Dumped all blame on backend guys. Came out it actually was an API issue 😂
-
froceRtl instead of forceRtl wasted 3 hours of my time, not sure who to blame, Javascript and the fact it takes any damn name, or the fact I was too blind to notice it, or the fact VS Code stood there laughing :\2
-
the previous team didnt bother to document, upgrade, improve or anything to at least ease out the support and development process.
i guess i cant blame them, the bureaucracy here is ridiculous. a simple and tiny out of the box stuff is questioned not entertained.
wtf. -
Git blame falls into one of 2 categories, that one guy in the office that means it's probably broken or anyone else and you probably don't understand.
If you've never experienced the former, I've got some bad news for you... -
triggers {
cron('H */1 * * 1-5') // 23 every working day
}
I hate when comments are not updated along with code.
Even more when git blame points at me xD1 -
Why? As a senior, you won't give some time to review my code, will let me merge my code to a branch, then blame us when it will produce the bug in production? why? 😐 Won't even arrange a code review/knowledge sharing session so that juniors can learn at least something. Even you won't encourage us write test cases. If seniors don't follow, are the juniors to blame? 🙂3
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How do you deal with your juniors when they do any mistakes? Do you praise them when they overcome any challenges they were facing? Do you blame them rather correcting them? Do you balance both praise and blame to them? Just curious. 😅5
-
That I take everything too serious and it keeps downing my creativity and concentration.
I simply shouldn't give a fuck and learn through failures, because that is much more effective but I got educated to blame myself for mistakes. Stupid education. Takes time to truly understand that though. -
When you end up running support queries and QA as a developer because the client's on site support team blame the provider instead of their half-assed user configuration job. #IHopeYouGetFiredAssholes
-
If Oracle wins in the case against Google, how do you think the outcome will influence new developers and the CS field in general?10
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I blame developers for Windows epidemic. If no one develop for windows, there will be no software for that shit, and there for, there will be no user for that shit.11
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I have a coding block. I blame school. I'm on break for 2 weeks. The first week just finished. I try to work on my personal projects and I just lose interest. I have the motivation and stuff but when I try to work on them, the feeling just goes away.
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I saved myself headaches and whenever some one talks about this thing, I leave ...
Code gets complicated? Blame the one who forced that coding style in front of management and go to sleep peacefully.
Either work like an adult and accept criticism or go away and let me do what I'm paid for ...2 -
As a machine (plc) programmer I regularly have to get my 17mm laptop out to fix mechanical problems.
It really winds me up when mechanical or electrical bods can't find the faults so they blame software, I prove to them that it's not software by using hand tools and doing their job for them.
Bone idle people! -
When you unknowingly/accidentally/inadvertently delete something someone was working on for a long time and they don’t tell you until several months later when all the backups are long rotated out. No way to fix it and nothing left to do but accept blame and sanctions and work to regain lost trust. Kill me now.4
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Sunexpress or the Hannover airport? Idk who to blame.
We (a massive amount of people - around 200) are waiting for an hour for the gate to open.
We had to switch 3 gates. Ffs get your shit done.9 -
Jetbrains shoot them self in the lag with taken fun as function keyword in kotlin #memesWillCome.
Don't blame me i love kotlin!
I even convinced my boss that we should continue in kotlin.2 -
System32. That goddamn p.o.s bloatware that Microsoft uses to slow your PC and blame it on viruses, getting you to buy their antivirus software. I removed mine, such clean, very speed, much easy.1
-
Was thinking of some missing features for everyone's favorite source control software:
git blame problems --all
git wtf this_branch
git just_do_it_ffs
git just_fkin_merge_it branch
git abort --mylife -
About to start writing a report for my programming languages course, I’m writing it over GoLang, If anybody has any good resources for any information on Go, let me know!
The report extends into the history, paradigms, features, memory management system, and anything else I can possibly find on this language. I can find some pretty decent references on the footer of Wikipedia, but I wanted to see if anybody who actually used Go had anything they’d like to share.
Thanks :)1 -
Everything works great on Ubuntu!
Hell yeah let's install it everywhere.
3rd hard drive dead in 6 months.
But I blame the brand, TeamGroup, or the batch was bad ( all 3 of them were bought at the same day from the same shop)15 -
! RANT
Devs find it very convinient to put the blame on users.
Well your users are the one you are making for, if they cant use it, your UX IS SHIT, and you should stop developing and go sit and cry in a corner!!! -
My new boss has such a sensitive ego. The latest is he asked me not to make big changes to 'his' code so whilst attempting to fix a bug in 'his' code I realised a big change was needed. I tell him at standup that he might want to take a look first and he agrees. A few days later he emails me to ask why I haven't finished work on the bug. When I reply he ccs other members of management to ensure he is deflecting any blame from himself (I dont even play the blame game to begin with).
The next day I email him that some tests are broken (he broke them but I just emailed him to bring his attention to it since he doesn't want me touching his code. And because it means he isn't testing properly - not that I would say that).
His reply - "are you going to fix them?"
Me - "ok"
The next morning be brings me into a meeting to ensure I agreed he wasn't to blame and that it was my fault and that he didn't understand my email response as it just said "ok".
I really can't stand such petty bs...2 -
Dont be that guy, ok. Just clean up your shit and don't let shit go through you.
I will git blame you. I will judge you.
#leaveitbetterthanyoufoundit
2 -
I was sober from the last ten days and just now I lost my soberity. I accidently opened the whatsup. may be wet fingures and sticky screen to blame.
-
Gahhhh.... This side project I have been working on for the past 3 months is basically finished. However, the production build of the project seems to be breaking a key read abstracion I built. God damm it.
Can't blame anyone but me, because I should have tested this on production months ago!! -
There is no reason for detailed tech specs except for putting blame on people and covering ass. (Critical industry with strict standards excluded)
It should be a high level overview.
Then you start working on it and then review small pieces in code review and make modifications as more edge cases surface.2 -
I forgot every thing and watch funny YouTube videos! And in between watching them I blame myself get depressed get angry!
I think I might be bipolar! 🤔🤣😀😂☹️3 -
When I get a code review by my self-proclaimed expert colleague suggesting a change that ends up breaking the feature, I just implement that spaghetti code and let the testers know I'm not to blame.
-
It's almost a week later since i got the note i'm not welcome anymore soon in my current company.
After 6 days i figured out a reason other then: "the fe/be tranfer doesnt go well". I just don't want to blame be-guy because he was busy as hell with at least three projects at the same time.1 -
Why deVops?
Because developer and production team team blame each other. when things goes crazy.
#DevopsForPeace
#DevopsFor2 -
People gets confused on how comes I get better results then them in search. They always blame since I'm a programmer1
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Nice. It took me two hours to figure out that Helm was reading from the wrong config file. Two fucking hours. I'll just blame it on Covid-19 and call it a day.1
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Client updated the CMS today, because they apparently got confused and thought it was Windows Update...
1 -
travis scott shouldn't have apologized, it was their fault and i don't blame him, he was in the right and i support travis!! and if you blame travis for the deaths at astro world, gosh diggity damn darn you!
but maybe thats just me. -
If someone blames a technology, then they are doing it wrong!!!
Its like someone saying "Sex is bad" only because they are doing it wrong!!5 -
Blame on ModemManager documenters not specifying any of pre-probing features.
MM is a great project, but I think they lack detailed documentation. Udev is no magic, so don't treat it like snake oil in your documentation! -
Your country in internal crisis? Wanna find out how to get out of it, or take the blame out of you? Start a war and blame other country.
Its proven and works: TM
https://youtube.com/watch/...6
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