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-
If you accidentally send out a porn link, your best line of defense is to send 10 more, then blame it in a virus.
In fact just make a virus at this point.15 -
git blame
git fired
git depression
git divorce
git homeless
git commit
git job
git house
git wife --better
exit11 -
Upgraded work PC to a SSD. Can't believe the difference it made. It's like a new computer.
Only trouble is, now I can't blame the computer for my slow work...
Maybe I can blame the RAM from now on.9 -
Nothing pisses me off more than when people won't respond.
Them: "release is a week from now"
Me: "okay, it's done, I just need the API key for it to go into production"
*Silence*
2 days before release
Me: "you got that key yet?"
*Silence*
Oh, but I'm sure you'll find a way to blame it on me when we're past due.11 -
When something goes wrong at work, my boss will blame the first dev in his vicinity ...
Boss: "what the hell happened? why are the servers down?! This is unacceptable! Blah blah etc etc"
Me: "I dunno. Let me review if my CSS had anything to do with it" 😑😩4 -
If something works badly on macOS, people blame a specific application. If something works badly on Windows, people blame Windows.
🤔😶12 -
Begin a lazy fuck -> not taking the time to learn git while I've had plenty of time and now I still hardly know how to use it.18
-
I accidently spammed my own server from my other server, which caused fail2ban to go bananas.
Fail2ban sent ALOT of emails to my hostingproviders abuse department and they due to the amount of emails they got suspended my server.
I can't blame them :)8 -
#6
My client tells me there's a new bug with to-www-redirects. He yells they don't work properly anymore and tries to blame me. But fact is I know, they are well configured in the Nginx conf and therefore work like a charm.
I told him I fixed it and charged an hour. Motherfucker.
😓🔨 -
When the Sales team fucks up something, they point finger at each other for the blame.
When the Dev Team fucks up something, as a Senior Developer I say to my Boss that we fucked it up no matter whose fault it is and we will fix it up by x time.
When the SysAdmin team fucks. The Dev Team is to blame.
Sorry guys, I got a bit frustrated. All our servers wasn't backed up from last week and the SysAdmin guys are saying it's our fault.
What the fuck is going on? fuck you fuck fuck fuck fuck...9 -
I feel that people are quick to blame PHP for a lot of things. But come on, you have to admit it has the most straightforward debugging workflow:
Take a ritual knife out of your desk drawer
Sacrifice some blood to the PHP gods
Clean the knife -
Angry Client: All the data from this account is missing. I can't work like this with the app loosing data.
Me: Checks logs, see that client pressed the reset all data button and after that the confirmation button.
Me: As polite as possible informing the client what he did.
Client: Ooh yeah I did that.
It's sad that it has come to the point where you need logs on pressing buttons because they try to blame everything on the app.9 -
1. Promise anything, everything to clients
2. Set unrealistic deadlines
3. Devs can't meet deadlines
4. Blame the devs
Anyone?8 -
Completely losing my shit over a 'class Predis\Autoloader already defined' error.
Just noticed that I already created the object five lines up
How fucking retarded am I?! I mean, I've been debugging this for a WHOLE FUCKING HOUR.
Let's just blame it on the alcohol 😅7 -
HW issue causing blue screens? Windows' fault.
Driver bug? Windows' fault.
A program crashing? Windows' fault.
"Forced" updates you could've turned off? Windows' fault.
You have no common sense? Windows' fault.
Your girlfriend leaving you? Windows' fault.
Let's blame Windows because I got nothing else to blame.28 -
I'm tired of everyone playing the fucking victim all the damn time.
Grow the fuck up and take responsibility of your fuck ups, not blame everyone but yourself.
God people piss me off these days12 -
Wondering around some code and I found:
// The next few lines of code should be fairly self-explanatory
// ...
Well if it were so self-explanatory then why TF putting up a comment here!!
Git blame file
Oh sugar it was written by me...1 -
Casually Client Team Asked A Developer Team,
What is your favorite game?
**Blame Game**, One of the junior developer murmured.
-
The moments when you grow the most as a person are those where you have a big axe in your hand, ready to shout through the office WHICH OF YOU LOWLY SPERMSLURPING JERKS FORGOT TO WRITE A FUCKING TEST FOR THIS METHOD
...only to see your own name appear in git blame.3 -
That awkward moment, when you after several hours of debugging finds the error, types git blame and your own name comes up.3
-
(Meeting with Client)
Client: The script you sent us is broken... It can't run... We can't test now. (Their supervisor even insinuated that I did that on purpose :/ What?!)
Asked for logs, googled for solutions. Moments later.
Client: Oh it's our server's problem.
:/1 -
Ok so I started doing Minecraft development because why not and it's super easy to jack the prices up on projects...
THEESE COMMUNITIES ARE SO TOXIC!! I have worked on ~ 13 servers in the past month and have built myself a pretty good reputation. Recently I was hired by a network who wanted a few plugins made and I agreed. There were two owners, one who was paying me and had already paid me and paid for everything and another who is a very popular YouTuber and streamer (~100k subs). Both owners were in a disagreement and the one who was paying for everything including my second paycheck which I thankfully recieved requested that I erased the server so the YouTuber couldn't steal the server files.
I hesitantly copied the files and sent them to the person paying me. The YouTuber then got furious and blamed the server not working out on me and now I have a bunch of 8 year old fan boys destroying my rep. I swear to god I'm going to destroy this kids YouTube channel if it's the last thing I do.10 -
Staying nice.
I care about the product we're creating. More than I care about the feelings of my coworkers... and that's not always a strategically sound plan.
Getting annoyed with someone rarely helps make them see things your way — even when you're objectively right, and they're absolutely to blame for all that is wrong.4 -
Cleaning up some code when,
render () {
...
...
{this.renderSomeComponent()}
...
}
me checks renderSomeComponent
renderSomeComponent = (blabla) => {
if (this.shouldRenderComponent()){
doSomething()
}
}
me checks shouldRenderComponent
shouldRenderComponent = () => {
return false;
//unfinished single line of code
}
...
...
...
Git blame, “some guy who already left”, 7 months ago,
How can this shit even got merged to master??
4 -
The fuck did you think was going to happen?
User: ITs dragging their feet which is why x hasn't gone out yet.
PM: Why hasn't this gone out yet?
Me: They sent me a template then another and then said wait that's wrong too I'll send you the correct one.
I've yet to receive this and no one's provided me the data to check over.
PM: Well that's not what x said.
Me: Well my email chain says so. (Proceed to show them the emails)
PM then walks off and blasts the users. Your #blamegame ended the moment you emailed me knob shits. -
-Look at super hacky code for 30 minutes
-Ask yourself, how did this ever work, guy must have been an idiot
-Check annotations, you committed it
-"Dear God past self, what have you done..."3 -
Allright, I'm pissed.
Warning: more than 4k characters written by a non native english speaker ahead.
Legend:
Storytelling
> Short summary of the current situation
> "Something being said"
> (Something being thought)
* Actions *
-- Background --
In an attempt to reorganize my desktop I accidentally deleted a folder I called "development". In there I stored links to all my IDEs (Not sure how you call these in english), but also some workspaces like unity (Not much stuff there, processing (just some hobby stuff) AND Eclipse (FUCKING EVERYTHING RELATED TO SCHOOL WEB DEVELOPMENT). Now 3 days have passed and I realized this important folder was missing. Cleared that windows trash the instant I deleted the trash on my desktop.
> Shit, Regret
Install a file restore programm. Do every possible search. Nothing found.
> Big shit
Deadline was in like 3 days. Week was fucking rough so:
> "Screw this, the teacher nevet corrects the assignments and also fuck JSP"
Fast forward 2 months to last week. Teacher starts checking assignments.
> Fuck
* Sees pattern: Only students with missing or bad marks are checked. *
* Feels save *
Teacher approaching me while working on current projects.
* Doesn't feel save anymore *
> "Well, I'ld like to see your THAT programm"
> Well fuck
* Tells the truth *
> "Well that's unfortunate, but I must write a mark. Do you really have nothing to show?"
* Remember that I worked on the school pcs when I started *
> (Better than nothing. Gotta try it)
* Teacher checks programm, not pleased *
> (Fuck me, but at least it's over...)
> Nope
* Teacher calls me over *
> "With the mark I had to write today you can't reach that good mark even with a good examination, what are we gonna do about this?"
> "Well, there were other assignments that were never checked. Could we replace that mark with one of those?"
* Teacher agrees *
> (Srly bless this guy for that support)
My best choice was an Android app we had to develop during December in pairs. I did the front end (90% of the whole work) and my partner the backend (10 %). I also did 30 % of these 10 %, because I had to review the shit he wasn't able to debug himself.
> brainlogic.exe provided by windows vista
This distribution was partly my fault since I overestimated the work needed for the backend, but also the fault of that fucker. I mean, he didn't tell me the professor already provided 90 % of the backend...
Rest of the week was really busy (always 1 or 2 things to study for each day, workout and family stuff).
Yesterday (It's past 12 already) I arrived at ~9 pm in the dorm I could finally start reviewing my code.
Internet gets shut down at 10 pm.
Gotta hurry.
* Opens project *
* Sees half a year old code *
* Fights urge to puke *
> (Alright I gotta do this. For the mark!)
* waits for gradle to index files *
* Remembers the fact that I haven't opened Android Studio in the last 2 months *
For those who don't develop with android studio: This is an equivalent to ~10k windows updates waiting to be installed
> (Well, gotta work with this kinda old version)
"gradle sync failed"
> ( Ok, just restart it. You're fine )
* Android Studio doesn't react anymore and/or renders *
* Waits 5 min *
* Restarts laptop *
* Android Studio is reacting again*
"gradle is synching"
9:45 pm: gradle is done and I can finally compile my app
> FML
* Sees App launched on phone *
* Almost pukes again *
> (This was the assigment for the UX chapter, so design doesn't matter)
UX is decent. Proceeds with testing stuff. Save paths work, but some bugs can be caused by going of it
* fixes as much as possible *
* Takes quick look at backend *
Date date = new Date (GregorianCalender.getInstance().getTimeInMillis());
C'mon, I asked you to be the backend. You got 90% of the methods already written by the teacher and had 2 months to write the interfaces to my Front end AND you come up with shits like that.
Note: this example is a minor example of brainlogic.exe
I did what I could to make improve my situation. Hopefully he doesn't discover the bugs. And If it's a backend bug then I could't care less, since that was not my job!
Wish me luck for today!9 -
Ooh my f**king god! These privacy emails are getting out of hand now!!!!! I blame Europe for spoiling my inbox.11
-
1. Refactor shitty code because it is hard to maintain
2. Rant about how can someone write a code like that
3. Check commit log to see who is the person to blame
4. Found out that's me2 -
Github Inc. (Feel good inc. parody)
=========================
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
Fetch it, fetch it, fetch it, Github.
(change) Fetch it (change), Fetch it (change), Fetch it (change), Github
(change) fetch it (change), fetch it (change), fetch it (change), Github
Repos breaking down on pull request
Juniors have to go cause they don't know wack
So while you filling the commits and showing branch trees
You won't get paid cause it's all damn free
You set a new linter and a new phenomenal style
Hoping the new code will make you smile
But all you wanna have is a nice long sleep.
But your screams they'll keep you awake cause you don't get no sleep no.
git-blame, git-blame on this line
What the f*ck is wrong with that
Take it all and recompile
It is taking too lonnng
This code is better. This code is free
Let's clone this repo you and me.
git-blame, git-blame on this line
Is everybody in?
Laughing at the class past, fast CRUD
Testing them up for test cracks.
Star the repos at the start
It's my portfolio falling apart.
Shit, I'm forking in the code of this here.
Compile, breaking up this shit this y*er.
Watch me as I navigate.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Yo, this repo is Ghost Town
It's pulled down
With no clowns
You're in the sh*t
Gon' bite the dust
Can't nag with us
With no push
You kill the git
So don't stop, git it, git it, git it
Until you're the maintainers
And watch me criticize you now
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.
Break it, break it, break it, Github.
git-blame, git-blame on this line
What the f*ck is wrong with that
Take it all and recompile
It is taking too lonnng
This code is better. This code is free
Let's clone this repo you and me.
git-blame, git-blame on this line
Is everybody in?
Don't stop, shit it, git it.
See how your team updates it
Steady, watch me navigate
Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Don't stop, shit it, git it.
Peep at updates and reconvert it
Steady, watch me git reset now
Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.
Push it, push it, push it, Github.2 -
If you wanna replace few of the carousel banners in your website, at least fucking send me the image with the same aspect ratio or resolution compared to the old images.
WHY THE FUCK YOU WANNA BLAME THE DEV TEAM WHEN YOUR GRAPHIC TEAM AND YOUR MARKETING TEAM IS SHIT?5 -
just discovered this place.
good to know there's a place where I can rant about clients that blame me when they forget to pay their hosting bills or worse.9 -
sync meeting:
dev: damn, the tests failed again
bossman: let's blame it on the neutrinos hitting the mainframe which flips a digit and causing the tests to fail this time!
dev: ok ...!4 -
tfw...
• dude chews you out for broken code
• wait patiently for dude to finish
• head on down to "git blame" town
• show him that _he_ was the author of said broken code
• tell dude to take a seat
🤫🤫🤫2 -
If your npm/yarn config breaks on windows clap your hands
👏👏
If your npm/yarn config breaks on windows clap your hands
👏👏
Express generator doesn't work, and sass will up and break because there is no support for windows clap your hands
👏👏🎵🎶
Sigh.......das it...i am bringing the mac or one of my Linux machines tomorrow........11 -
Me : Who wrote that monstrosity of code ? I’m going to kill someone!
Git blame !
Me : Oh never mind, it was me 4 yeas ago.
12 -
*Extreme security measures on the backend, it must be failsafe, every db is as redundant as possible, generated salt, 2fa, everything*
*Forgets to add a case for {"key":""}*
I would blame it on the team but i built the entire backend myself.1 -
Fuck Uber!
I requested an Uber to take me Chicago Midway Airport.
They driver takes me to a different airport over an hour away! I nearly missed my flight because he didn't follow directions. To add insult to a shitty situation he charged me an extra $40 for his mistake.
This morning I requested a refund and noted the driver took a long route. They had the nerve to reply and blame it on me! Claiming the drop-off location was not the location original specified. Mother fuckers I have a screen shot!
I am astounded that they would stoop to such low levels as to shift the blame to me. I suppose they were betting I didn't have a screen shot.
Well, time to try lift!
7 -
My friend was approached by a client who insisted that his website should be in WordPress to facilitate future maintainability.
That's how y'all end up having to maintain those awful pieces of mess. Blame the client, not the developer.7 -
Him: "No developer worth his salt puts each of his brackets on a new line."
Me: "I mean... I agree it's uglier but your whitespace commit means we git blame you for everything."
Him (upset): "You BLAME me? I'm sorry I have standards."
Me: "Not blame blame, git blame like the history view of the-"
....too late he reverts his commit and hates me for life.
I wasn't even disagreeing, I was trying to explain git blame. :(17 -
Business User: Hey can we get a sample output you plan to send us?
Me: yes heres a mock
BU: This doesn't look right, can you use real values?
Me (said nicely): WELL IF WHEN YOU WROTE THE FCKIN REQUIREMENTS WEREN'T SO VAGUE AND ACTUALLY PROVIDED REAL VALUES FOR THE INPUTS WE WOULD GET AND WHAT WE SHOULD OUTPUT USING THEM MAYBE I COULD GIVE YOU A BETTER SAMPLE... AND DO LESS GUESSING ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK YOU ACTUALLY WANT...
BU: Oh I forwarded some data
Me: *looks at input data*
(thoughts) THIS FUCKING MAKES NO SENSE!! NOWHERE DOES ANYTHING LOOK LIKE WHAT YOU WANTED.... HOW ABOUT I PULL MAGIC VALUES OUT OF MY ASS?6 -
To anybody that didn't look through the entire chrome dev summit (lucky you and I don't blame you for it) - some very interesting gamified resources for css grid, service workers and flexbox:
- https://www.gridcritters.com/
- https://serviceworkies.com/
- https://mastery.games/p/...2 -
Every time I think
"Who the fuck coded this peace of garbage"
And then git blame the file
Only to see that it was me... 3+ months ago2 -
Alright, so the "big e-commerce" site have ranted about a few times decided to move their site to google, because the developers blame our server to be the issue.
Well, I wish I had a couple of beer to drink while I am enjoying the downtime, servercrashes, and timeout on the site now. I hope the devs eat their own shit, because they are. -
Client asks for website and budget very low and wants a form with dB. Think WordPress site is a solution. Build site.
Deliver site.
Client's IT team unable to deploy on server. They blame me for bad "code".
I have to go to their office and help them deploy on local machine using WAMP.
2 days and 100s of calls later, website installed on test server. Works fine.
All is well1 -
I regretfully procrastinated the entire week so now I must suffer with my projects.
Both programming and non programming related.
I blame the fact I was distracted with Netflix, books, google docs, and devRant.
Well... Time to drink some coffee, even though I'm a coffee hater. The caffine in tea has no influence on me, so nasty coffee it is.18 -
IMHO: all the hate on Katie bouman is absolutely stupid. if you want to blame someone, blame the media for portraying her as the sole person on the project. She never once took credit only for herself and always mentions that it's a team effort. And what the fuck is so wrong that the focus is on the woman engineer anyways? If this was a man, no one would give a shit that he "didn't give credit to his team"8
-
When you stay up late doing a personal project the night before a workday -- knowing damn well you're going to be too tired to do anything the next day -- and have no one to blame but yourself 😁2
-
So our university website was recently refurbished with new design. But fucking hell it's bad. Not only the whole website is full of bugs, the design choices are extremely poor.
Sometimes, when I open a course page, it opens a modal with undefined as it's title. And I have to click close button ten times to close the modal.
I can't even blame university. The guy was a former student and Uni probably trusted him. What a retard!5 -
# Who the fuck wrote this piece of shit static, unreusable yet globally used, inconsistent, non-standard mock that breaks whole fucking test suite and makes me cry everytime I correct one thing only to find out it breaks another? I swear to god motherfucker I'm gonna find you and fucking cut you. Fuck you you fucking idiot and fuck your entire family if you still have one though I doubt anyone would ever want you for a son. [going on for a few minutes in my head] #
$ git blame
# well fuck you "me from 2019-11-15 15:30:25 +0100". I fucking hate your guts and I want you to know it #2 -
How many times have I ask my boss about the new project's deadline only to get "it has to be done by yesterday". Damn, boss, if you know, that we are occupied, then don't get a new project, only to blame the coder for promising an impossible deadline to the client!2
-
"The client has reported {some problem}. Do we know what has caused it?"
Dev: "{explanation} is the cause"
"Ok, was that caused by a recent change?"
Dev: "No, the system has been like that since the start"
"Ok, but who did it? Was it some recent work?"
Dev: "The system has been like that since the start"
Constant fucking blame and finger pointing.
Fuck off. -
Whatever you do, don't do this.
- a sleep for 300s to avoid full 24 hour rollover (lol)
- sleep 1d instead of cron; so at random times emails will be sent out or they won't at all
- this is a laravel project, there's a thing called task scheduling: https://laravel.com/docs/5.8/...
Git blame: https://github.com/invoiceninja/...
The actual core project docs at least tell you to setup a cron, though not via * * * * * nor task scheduling, which isn't as much of an issue though as their dogshit docker compose: https://invoice-ninja.readthedocs.io/...
6 -
Worst thing I've seen a Dev do? Blame others even if it shows in the git blame that it is his fault 😂 no equality, ego and hard headed. Wants to show every one that he's always right 😂 well good luck with karma. What an attitude lol
-
So I take leave for a day right.
I come back to the office and my teamlead asks me to start running tests and in the same breath he adds, "so I added SOME code so that it would cater for the annoying popup".
I said cool and made nothing of it.
A few minuts later he stands behind me asking me why its so slow and my reply was.....
"Well I wasn't in yesterday and you added code and it wasn't this slo... "
Words arnt even out of my mouth and he starts shouting at me
"DON'T SHIFT BLAME!!! Don't Shift Blame."
Well okay then sorry...... I guess.5 -
So we have a bug.
Yesterday I spend the morning sorting through other people's code to find out what is causing this bug report it to team leader once I find it. He asks me find out who made it and hunt them down! So git blame... Turns out it was him :S felt awkward mentioning it to him so didn't. 5 minutes later team leader "oh it was me"1 -
A few years ago, a fellow programmer called me to teach him how to use git blame to find out who wrote that piece of code that broke the monetary ecosystem in this game. He was pretty upset about it because they blamed him about it. I gladly helped him just to see my own name there. Sad story.1
-
Being the only tech savvy person in class can be the worst. If someone gets hacked they all blame you...6
-
1. If you dont know, say: Let me check that and get back to you.
2. ALWAYS use legit test-data and test-images.
3. Never argue ten minutes about something you can fix in ten minutes.
4. Fuck blame or glory. Just refactor and commit and feel proud about youself.1 -
You blame ME because your cocksucking brain isn’t able to configure YOUR fucking client’s printers correctly, and then you come to me as gentle as a dickless goat to help you out because “something screw up”
Fuck you.
Fuck your printers.
Fuck your brain.
Fuck your RDS Server.9 -
I provide hosting for my clients. About 3 months ago I discovered that the hosting company that I'd been using had been swallowed up by EIG, which explained why the tech support had gone downhill.
So, I jumped to another hosting company. Same shit different company!
Apparently the fact that my browsers sit at "connecting" for up to 30 seconds, and I get a "could not connect to" message half the time while I'm trying to fucking work on a deadline is the fault of some plug-in in a WordPress installation!
Oh yeah? Why then does this shit happen when I'm working on a pure html/css site?
Why then did it start happening after they "updated" my shared server?!
Oh, but the bastards suggest that I buy Cloudflare or pay for more space!
You fuckers made my work take 3 times as long, and you made an important migration fail!
Network places make mistakes. We all do. That's cool. Fucking own up to it, talk to me like a techie, and DON'T TRY TO BLAME IT ON ME OR MY TOOLS!
Fuck you! I think I'm gonna give Google Cloud a try, and do this shit myself!7 -
From fresh experience, IF you are learning Git I would really suggest you fully learn it from a professional before really using it. So you don't accidently delete 1,5 weeks of work like I just did :))))))))))))7
-
Fellow web developer loves to blame any css mistakes on the users "browser" or my favorite, "oh that must be a PC thing it looks great on my Mac"
*Facepalm*3 -
Working with somebody else is great, because there is somebody else to blame, on the other hand there's somebody else to blame..
-
My friend left his project work and I undertook it. Contained a mysterious folder named " open only when you get frustrated".
When the time came, I opened it and saw a text file along with a folder. The text file says, "Blame the predecessor for the code", and the folder was named, "open only when you get frustrated next time".
When the time came, it contained yet another text file along with a folder. The text file says, "Blame the project owner", and the folder says, "open only when you seriously get frustrated".
Finally, the time came, the folder contained only one text file, and to my surprise, there wasn't any folder. The text file says, "TIME TO MAKE THREE NESTED FOLDERS".1 -
So, the reason I couldn't save screenshots to ~/Screenshots is that the directory doesn't exist.
But ~/Screenschots does2 -
Comment of the week! I'm so sad he didn't catch the reference, but if the guy offers to teach him I'm down to learn 😂
On another note I can't blame him, I probably would have run npm -i gamma 😅
7 -
First week in the job and I was told to update an intranet page. Opened it in notepad, made the change and saved it.
Turned out it was a SharePoint site and saving it in notepad broke all the links and turned it into a static page. Even worse, it was the homepage of the intranet.
I blame lack of training and, in hindsight, how awful SharePoint is.
Anyway, at least we successfully tested the backup process...1 -
When you find some really shit code and you run 'git blame' to see who to blame, but then you see that you wrote that code...
1 -
Just had a person ask me:
"Do I need to install crack for Netbeans?"
P. S. : Can't completely blame him, because Windows user.7 -
"OMG PLZ HELP NOBODY CAN CALL ME!!!¡¡ THIZ STUPID PHONE IS SO SHITTY"
Did you press anything?
"NOTHING I SWEAR!"
Yeah, I see that you are messing with the settings. Is that nothing to you?
I can understand that you accidentally navigate to the settings, but if you blame everything on your phone and lie to me, expect me to do the same.1 -
Got into a fight with a teammate last week (acting PM, she was) over how she basically failed to do her job.
Got blamed for talking about it by project owner. (basically, they wanted to make themselves feel good by passing down the blame down the blame chain... But I rebelled)
... Don't want to walk into the same meeting tomorrow. 😢😔😞9 -
Waterfall Project Stages:
Requirements, Analysis, Design, Coding, Testing, Operations
When you promote project managers to program managers and tell them to switch to Agile, you get the Agilefall project stages:
Best guess, Timeline, User stories, Execution, Blame the devs when the project plan trends late.
I want to beat them with a copy of the PMBOK wrapped in lead.3 -
ummm okay?
Can't blame them really. Most of the people are too stupid to understand that they have to press okay to proceed.
5 -
Spend 10 minutes patiently waiting for a progress bar to gradually make its way to the end, only to reset to the beginning and start all over again. Realize you actually have NO idea what the actual progress is or how long this is going to take and that the first progress bar was actually just representing the progress to this realization.
-
Best:
Joining an FRC team and getting to hang out with some other dev peeps (@hyperlisk @n3xus)
Worst:
When @desjna decided that he should have the right to delete some stuff that I put a lot of effort into then just blame me for it (this is going to be explained in an upcoming rant)2 -
I HATE PROJECT MANAGERS
They are so busy with their “schedule making” they skim over details and then blame us developers3 -
When you spend an entire day debugging the client side halfway losing your mind, then you realize the 3rd party service API is to blame.
UUUggh!1 -
WTF Apple!? Yet another update? I use the iPad mainly to catch up on some light reading while doing a number two. But as of late, I've spend more time watching that line grow under your logo. I blame you for my haemorrhoids, you stupid piece of fruit!!1
-
Programming commandment: Thou shall blame all bad code on thy comrade who has bequeathed your company!2
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Rant!
A colleague bought a mechanical keyboard to the office today.
Pro: if you miss a deadline you can blame that colleague.
Con: schizophrenia.7 -
I just broke the software I am working in and I don't know how. Like seriously. I didn't change anything. It just stopped throwing the error I am supposed to be fixing and started throwing a different one. I blame ghosts.7
-
We all love that colleague that swears he didn't make the method that's making 2 different functionalities not work 5 hours before the deadline even when git blame clearly shows he was the one to make changes.
-
Italy:
"Here's your collective contract, you get paid like everyone else in this job regardless of your experience or proven skills"
Can't blame anyone for getting out of that hellhole1 -
I downloaded somebody's GitHub code to use for a project. It had a bug that broke functionality, so I fixed it and started running it to gather data. Then it stopped working for a different reason. I rechecked out the code fresh, same (second) issue occurred. It was a second bug, that once I fixed it, everything worked. But I didn't need to fix it the first time! There weren't any commits in the last two months! I blame ghosts.
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Freelance client calls freaking out because she needed the website changes done by yesterday morning because she had some huge meeting with potential investors....
I feel bad but I don't, she never told me anything about needing it done by Sunday morning.
This is exactly why I hate freelance work. Lack of communication and then they blame you5 -
This is getting WAY out of hand.
So I pay for 100/100 internet right.
I get 3/17...
This has been happening for half a year now...
The closest other ISP is 200km away......
Gonna confront them but they're probably just gonna blame my 2 year old 200$ asus router for being "too old"/"too slow".
😂🔫10 -
Was offered a really good price to set up a webshop, and he would pay me the same amount for two literal duplicates of the site.
"Oh btw I need it so no one can see who logged in to the website, there must be no traces of activity"
IOW - he makes shitloads on illegal horse trade while I take the blame for the website.1 -
I named an alias variable feedItem in my database query but I keep accidentally typing feetItem. I have no one to blame but myself.1
-
I am both happy and sad looking at the code I wrote some time back. It makes me realize how much I have learned and at the same time how stupid I was.1
-
Aaaa stop this issue with renaming everything furcubimofawasggkdjgdkkf whitelist blacklist git blame and the master of em all, the main branch3
-
When a client asks us to support IE 6 can we start noting that there are some fucking useless clients out there and that Microsoft is inflicted with more of them than most? The continued existence of IE 6 isn't really down to Microsoft---it's down to their useless fucking customers.
So, let's beat those people with a stick until they upgrade to Edge.
At that point everyone can return to fighting about FF, Chrome and Edge---apart from me as all browsers seem to support cat JPGs.4 -
There are 2 types of people that I can't stand:
- Designers who thinks they can do the front-end as they use Photoshop
- Programmers that thinks the front-end is easy enough as put random bootstrap columns everywhere
Then when something doesn't work, they blame the front-end developer.
Try to communicate more, assholes, and do your job.6 -
> Moment you thought you did a good job, but ended up failing
> Times the bug wasn't actually your fault
> Times you took the blame for a junior or other dev
> Times someone took the blame for you
> Times you got away with something you shouldn't have.
> Most valuable data loss
> The bug you never fixed
> Most satisfying bug to fix
> Times where a "simple" task turned out to be not so simple
> Debug code left in production?
> Moments you wish you could undo
> Most satisfying optimization
> Have you ever been ranted about? -
Sometimes I just want to blame everyone in this group for their shitty code, but then I realize, that Im just the intern and only here for around 2 weeks ...
Instead I cry in silence.1 -
Do not, I repeat... DO NOT approve a pull request that you cannot adequately review. You're more to blame than the person who wrote the code in the first place when it fails.1
-
I was hired to a working team that is full of experienced people who know how to code but half the team is awfull at solving problems, and all they do is blame each other... why cant they understand we are one team and rather work on solution for 30 minutes they spent deciding who fucked up...2
-
A haiku, written in NodeJS:
This is the first line
This is the third line
This one is the second line8 -
Product owner and scrum master prioritized a not important user story. We are just new to the assigned team without proper turn over, KT, vague user story(one sentence) and no time to prepare our local environments. Then after sprint 1 the client wants a demo by next month but the PO and SM had prioritized the wrong user story so now they are pressuring the developers on finishing fast the other correct important user story. They mismanaged it and now they say the development was slow thus blaming us?! WTF. We hit the deadline of the first user story with unpaid overtimes.
The other PO was always asking us on how to fast track the development lol.
I'll tell them all their faults in the next meeting. As usual we are just high paid corporate slaves with golden hand cuffs trying to escape the rat race.7 -
Fucking mongodb... the name is really fitting "mongol db"..
I get that a NoSQL db can be very useful but holy crap mongodb is shit..
Even better is the security.. holy shit it's insecure..
"Just use the configuration to only allow 127.0.0.1" stfu that shit apparently doesn't work on fucking centos..
And yes my customer did get hacked
And yes they did blame me
And yes I did have a backup5 -
When leaving for the day on my last day in the company.
I thought what I learned here? nothing technical except how to survive the politics, backstabber, betrayal, blame game and getting used.
I wish it could be added as skills in CV.2 -
I blame JetBrains team Everytime I work with sublime. Those wasted hours trying to figure out wtf is going on with my code and my only mistake is that I forget to save my work....1
-
“A system called COBOL...” got a shout out on CNN. 🙄 Blame the IT departments for cheap ass lawmakers providing funds... I hate IBM as much as the next breathing human but damn 😡😡2
-
When git blame tells you name@example.com wrote the shitty code, but he is actually reusing the address that was assigned to a former colleague with the same name.2
-
Smashed the screen on my beloved LineageOS Moto G4 last night.
(Alcohol may be partly to blame.)
Any suggestions for a cheap Android phone with a stable release of LineageOS?7 -
So I did a code review for a colleagues pull request and I've noticed that he hasn't written the PHPDocs for a lot of the classes and functions. One minor thing I wrote is to add the author for the class.
About 2 mins after writing that comment he came over to tell me why should he write the author in the comments when people can just go look at the git commit logs. I was like WTF? I asked why would he do that, his answer was that if there's an issue, we can just use git blame to identify the author. To me that makes no sense as git blame isn't supposed to be used like that.
It's guys like these are the ones who don't document anything whether in an online document or even in code. And they just make work harder for the rest of us.2 -
A new currency is emerging in our industry. It is called "blame".
Who is to blame if we don't meet the deadline?
Who is to blame if the rushed release has x bugs?
Who is to blame if nightly build breaks, because our CI-Server is an old hunk of junk and "management" didn't approve the upgrade?
Our customer blames the delay in HIS infrastructure on us, because our system requirements are too high.
Blame blame blame. This currency is the new idol of our management team. Everyone gets blamed. They manage their "blame" ledgers instead of approving the tools we need or give us reasonable deadlines. Why Lord, oh why are there SO MANY MORONS in managment? You know what, dear "managers"? FUCK YOU., FUCK YOU SO HARD YOUR MOM WON'T RECOGNIZE YOU. YOU COULDN'T POUR PISS OUT OF A BOOT WITH INSTRUCTIONS ON THE HEEL.4 -
Worst Hackathon Experience ever!
Had been to SAP for a hackathon last year. Built a complete solution for our challenge. Due to no sleep and 48 hours of non stop coding, my team mate who was supposed to present our solution screwed it up in the last minute. Now we blame ourselves for losing because of our bad presentation. -
devRant mini rant... Only myself to blame
I wear flannels all the time :( but don't have 1000
Thanks devRant for awesome content, I will get the flannels soon!7 -
i need to reinstall windows 10.
but i don't have an ISO.
ok i will Use Media Creation tool from M$ to get one.
I selected to burn directly to USB
and 1 hour and 50% later the AntiMalware blocked autorun.inf and mediacreation tool crashed
fuck fuck fuck fuck
so i'm still here waiting....
but this time i selected to download the ISO and i will burn it later.
i don't know who blame the antimalware or MediaCreationTool.....
i think that i will blame both.2 -
Your UI doesn't render as expected...
You blame RecyclerView...
You blame ConstraintsLayout...
You even blame f**king ImageView...
Turn out the culprit was VectorDrawable...
You try to blame VectorDrawable but your inner self knows that it's your lack of proper knowledge of VectorDrawable....
You feel sad...
You push your code to git and go to sleep.1 -
If there's something wrong in the server room
Who you gonna blame? (the intern)
If the hard drive's grilled
And it don't look good
Who you gonna blame? (the intern)
If you're seeing keys in your'r github's HEAD
Who you gonna blame? (the intern)
Your PC's on fire
and the website's dead
Who you gonna blame? (the intern)
Disclaimer: My internship was a pretty cool time actually... :) -
One time I had to review some SAP / Excel / Visual Basic toolchain.
It was a huge mess with like 10 layers of if-then cases in around 1000 lines of code analyzing excel sheets, resolving error codes etc. in maybe two functions.
It turned out that I programmed that code about 8 years ago :/ -
Take over responsibility you fucking morons!
We are the engineering team and we cannot know how you operate our product in every detail. And for god's sake don't blame us when shit happens in production when you don't test upcoming deployments by yourself! -
I don't know If I should blame Gradle and the Android emulator for my computer freezing (cuz out of memory), or I should blame myself for not having a powerfull enough comouter?12
-
Bitbucket full of dicks!!!
Dude just pushed merge conflict comments!!! At first he was like I did not do it, so I was like git blame bitch! Now he is like it wasn't my fault so what I used force push!
Well that was it I will leave this unholy company!1 -
Me: Who wrote this fu$$in mess of code? Never mind, we will get the dirty hacker.
*Runs git blame*
*Silence*
Me: What a innovative way to solve the problem! I'm a genius! -
I don't wanna blame Linux. I am just gonna blame my HP stream 13. You petite useless beautiful blue girl. 🙄1
-
Day 1 with Chromium OS: Inclusion of packages and stuff
Day 2 with Chromium OS: Setting up CI, and realize Azure is fucking gay because their own agents disconnects after 4 hours.
Just why.
Day 3 with Chromium OS: resolve their shitty problem, now their own agents have no disk space. I blame Google.
Day 4 with Chromium OS: Fix CI in at 10 commits, give up and cry.
Day 5 with Chromium OS: Realized Travis might stood a chance, build time limit reached, now I'm shook.
Day 6 with Chromium OS: Buried myself with endless tabs of Gentoo documentation. Lost count on when's the last time I came out of my room.
Today with Chromium OS: I blame Google for making my life suffer more than the last time I had depression.
Conclusion: Chromium OS is Gentoo with extra steps and I hate it6 -
"When developers encounter confusion, they usually blame the language instead of their lack of understanding."
I love this. It's from the You Don't Know JS Book Series that I'm reading. -
Learning the most efficient positioning with CSS grid, somewhat feels like my whole body is dying with an alarming rapidly increasing speed.
While talking about speed, this must be the shit that makes our youth turn to heavy drugs.
I can't blame them.1 -
All I want was to turn on my PC and relax while playing my fav game after an exhausting day... but noooooo!!! Game can't start due to an app hang. Blame win10 for that...1
-
The first 30 minutes of a working day often consist of me saying, "who broke this then?" Then a liberal use of git blame.
-
When the browser autocompletes your honeypot and some users now can't login...
Happened to my colleague today, can't really blame him too, it's an effective trap...3 -
I know I'm going to get the blame 🙄...
They transferred a domain didn't tell me they were doing it then now they are with 123reg ... shit web hosting
On top of that the dns wasn't transferred over so currently the old site is dead 🙄2 -
Going back to a project from a few months ago, a fellow dev has committed 'test this' comments with my name...
Hitting up git blame shows my tests were written 2 weeks before! If you're gonna be passive aggressive, at least do it right :/ -
Set up an account on cPanel to show the client their final product. Set the bandwidth limit to a low number so that the client can only view the website once and so that if something is not right, I can blame the bandwidth error.
After the client reported an issue, fixed it before resetting bandwidth limit. -
Wasted two hours to end up finding out EF Core had a bug :\
Next time better blame Microsoft before blaming my code lol
https://github.com/aspnet/...9 -
so that's how it is... 2,500 seats and no place for me... I don't blame anyone, just sad about it 😭
'Google and Udacity have developed a variety of free learning resources for you'... yeah of course, no need to apply to the scholarship because you provide free learning resources???
1 -
DBA tells us 2 weeks in advance about database upgrade, but we developers forgot as manager insists in managing tasks via emails.
Monday morning brings the news that our web app isn't functioning properly. DBA responded saying he informed us in advance.
Manager blames it on the DBA that he informed us too much in advance.
I can take my share of blame but why the poor DBA for doing his job.1 -
I was working under the title of mid-level developer when I felt I was clearly still a junior and was tasked with making changes to the core search functionality of the company website. After it was 'reviewed' by 3 people more senior than I and merged to production it took the majority of the site down.
I got the blame and the reviewers weren't even questioned 😒1 -
Don't blame the teachers, they don't know the latest technologies themselves, they are mostly graduates, who have almost no work exp, so they might not know latest technologies or how to use em, neither do universities fund them to learn them
P.S. Not a teacher, just put yourself in their shoes2 -
Client : Couple of new features are added. Check out the documentation. Deliver the product as discussed.
Me : I doubt that. With new features it's definitely take one more week than discussed.
Client : Don't glam blame. It shows the work Quality and you are Incompetence.
Me : !?!?!???1 -
I think what we need is a bot that scrapes user information from Facebook. That way we could show people that not only Facebook, but everyone can earn a lot of info about someone.
All these people starting to hate and blame Facebook for it's issues...
And no one realizes that it could be their fault.
If everyone shares so much info about their lives, it's very presumably, that Facebook knows a lot about you.1 -
My server is taking 7 minutes to boot with an ssd 🤔...
Time to systemctl blame the shit out of the system and figure out what config I messed up!9 -
The new (mobile) google results design looks horrible, what were they thinking when they applied *{border-radius:5px;}? 😷4
-
And this early Friday leave from work is brought to you by Microsoft.
(I did triggered the first one, but I forgot my laptop had a pending update so it's not totally windows fault)
-
Just fixed my broken htc one m9 (boot loop after legitimate update) by powering it up month after putting in back to box for future repair. Who to blame? NSA? Android 7? SD Card?
-
I am pretty much sure we will lose more commits and codes, my colleagues does not follow a better git workflow and then they blame on me.
-
This is really annoying. My single manual test takes 10 minutes to run. Can't blame the task because its big, can't blame me, code optimization is not necessary and won't speed anything up. So here writing a rant waiting for it to finish1
-
Here we go, the winter is happening #BecauseItsAlreadyComing
The Fcuking Stereotype of MDFK Projects Deadline was not achieve, everybody starts throwing blame words, the management had their heads burned, aaannd... This is nearly 11pm I'm enjoying my chicken Satay and I don't give a fcuking damn with this situation. #MyCodeMyAdventure
lets have a junkie dinner my fellow devRanters! 😂
3 -
My team: please read that article about blameless postmortems, there's a lot we could take on board to improve team morale
My team extra-passive-aggressive at the first incident: why did you do that? That was never gonna work3 -
That I take everything too serious and it keeps downing my creativity and concentration.
I simply shouldn't give a fuck and learn through failures, because that is much more effective but I got educated to blame myself for mistakes. Stupid education. Takes time to truly understand that though. -
I would have liked to complete a task this week, however the one thing I've been working on has it's requirements changed every time I finish.
I get that things change, but all of this extra logic is far too complex for the issue at hand, and I don't have time to do other assigned things due to how laborious and intensive testing for this part of the application is. -
It sucks when the Project Manager assigned to you ruins your website and you get all the blame like you're not doing your job properly. It even more sucks when the Designers /PM / TL gets mad at you changing /adding something on the website that is not in the slices they submitted. Yes, I respect your work but the boss and the clients want to have their website more interactive. We're not doing brochures and magazine, people.
-
Working in the industry for several years on dozens of projects with little to show. Between clients who can't pay, who abandon projects, who have scope creeped out of control, or are just plain slow to respond, my actual finished project output seems like 25% and somehow we're the ones who get shouldered with all the blame.
-
It bothers me far too much when I see people double clicking on ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.
Oh your browser has opened twice, yeah blame Windows.1 -
Ouch - got my first Windows blue screen in years! (Lacking a picture of it, I stole this one from the interwebs)
Cause: The LITE-ON SSD cache drive. So, can't blame MS for this one, but BSODs are great flamebait regardless of cause.
The SSD was 3 years old, which seems a very short life span for an SSD, unless it's an OCZ.
2 -
Project is dammed, is broken, we complain about it for almost 3 months, daily, code is old and client is full of bad practices and is always searching for a way to blame us for his failure.
Administration decides that best solution is motivate meditation techniques on dev team1 -
Never lose your confidence as a dev, especially when those fucking managers tryna blame you for anything that goes wrong in the system or just wanna make you feel like shit.
This goes out to y’all managers. Fuck you!!! -
So my laptop screen started flickering to black when movement occures on screen, making it look like a stroboscope and giving me a sweet migraine.
Impossible to code, write, browse or get anything done. Good bye finishing deadlines on time.
Don't know what's wrong, hardware or software, I have no freaking idea. But I'm tempted to take this as a oppertunity to blame windows10 whipe my computer clean and running some Linux OS instead.6 -
It is ok to fail and commit mistakes, that's part of the game, specially for beginner devs. Just avoid failing alone, the most you can!
I mean:
- Ask people to review your code before pushing to the source repository.
- If you are not sure how to do, ask.
- Never work in production environments without supervision. Pair with someone.
- Have a desk mate for rubberducking (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...) and blame it in case you need -
Today I had to fix a bug and it took me about 2 hours to find out that it related to a bug in a component which doesn't belong to the bugs component. In development everything where fine. But after deployment the bug occured. Found out that when running Vue webpack projects in dev it handles errors different, kind of a global try catch block. After deployment the application breaks.
This teached me again that we should not ignore any red error line in console. -
triggers {
cron('H */1 * * 1-5') // 23 every working day
}
I hate when comments are not updated along with code.
Even more when git blame points at me xD1 -
i've been working to create a docker-compose file with teamcity server and teamcity agents and an sonarqube to CI/CD my Java project by building and analyzing it ... the build takes 5 minutes the source code analyzing around 25 minutes, ... and now this time it nearly ran full pass, until sonarqube runner threw an error: " cant blame because svn credentials are missing " .... WTF!! ....
-
How the fuck does a community write an open source library/package that works wonders, but fail to write a proper documentation.
So many times I have to look into the core of frameworks, libraries and packages so form my own documentation in my head.
I guess I should be contributing too.
We are all to blame.1 -
Everything works great on Ubuntu!
Hell yeah let's install it everywhere.
3rd hard drive dead in 6 months.
But I blame the brand, TeamGroup, or the batch was bad ( all 3 of them were bought at the same day from the same shop)15 -
When you end up running support queries and QA as a developer because the client's on site support team blame the provider instead of their half-assed user configuration job. #IHopeYouGetFiredAssholes
-
Coding taught me to be patient, understanding, and accept my mistakes.
Don't blame the computer when things are going wrong; it is just doing that it is being told to do. If you acknowledge that you might be to blame too, sit down and have a calm conversation with it (debugging joke😂), things will be alright. -
To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Found this on reddit once, so true about most people. -
Was stuck on a bug, took 2 days still couldnt fix it. Dumped all blame on backend guys. Came out it actually was an API issue 😂
-
If Oracle wins in the case against Google, how do you think the outcome will influence new developers and the CS field in general?10
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!rant Everybody blame guys for using different IDEs, languages, tools or libraries. But what we all have in common is the feeling of perfection, when you code a function of 30, 50, 100 or 200 lines of code and it runs without errors on the first run 😍1
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I wrote a few related libraries for our app that literally every single one of the several hundred requests a second we receive goes through, and everytime there is a bug I always blame those libraries first... even though they are excellently unit and integration tested. Today i started the third "re-write" to cleanup the code and get some piece of mind. Will be pissed / relieved when the bug is somewhere else.
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My Parallel Programming teacher had a new job at a different school, and ours was year round so the schedule didn't line up, so he just left half way through the semester. He was the only teacher who knew the stuff.
An adjunct teacher came in, which of course got us nowhere. I don't blame the teacher for leaving though, the school sucked. -
About to start writing a report for my programming languages course, I’m writing it over GoLang, If anybody has any good resources for any information on Go, let me know!
The report extends into the history, paradigms, features, memory management system, and anything else I can possibly find on this language. I can find some pretty decent references on the footer of Wikipedia, but I wanted to see if anybody who actually used Go had anything they’d like to share.
Thanks :)1 -
Sunexpress or the Hannover airport? Idk who to blame.
We (a massive amount of people - around 200) are waiting for an hour for the gate to open.
We had to switch 3 gates. Ffs get your shit done.9 -
the previous team didnt bother to document, upgrade, improve or anything to at least ease out the support and development process.
i guess i cant blame them, the bureaucracy here is ridiculous. a simple and tiny out of the box stuff is questioned not entertained.
wtf. -
I blame developers for Windows epidemic. If no one develop for windows, there will be no software for that shit, and there for, there will be no user for that shit.11
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Not using design pattern on a school project because he was too busy understanding what the fuck was Smalltalk since no one understood it in classes.
yes it was me. I don't blame myself, I really took too much time understanding that (and I was the only one to do that, the other just asked me. ALL OF THEM). But I should, I guess. -
Don't bother telling me there's typos in stuff when I send emails, I write in some form of programming language >50% of the time, I know there are typos in my stuff, which is why we have someone to proof-read my stuff before it goes public facing. Don't blame me that the person paid to proof-read things failed.5
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froceRtl instead of forceRtl wasted 3 hours of my time, not sure who to blame, Javascript and the fact it takes any damn name, or the fact I was too blind to notice it, or the fact VS Code stood there laughing :\2
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Goddammit Microsoft!! Hardly a month in and you just had to prove yourselves. You had one job!!
News source: https://nakedsecurity.sophos.com/20...
7 -
My job is currently building an app for another developer business, the thing is that sometimes their teach leader 'helps' us coding the api. The other day he told us to fix a bug ASAP, they were very desperated and annoyed with us. I obviously run git bisect and blame, and guess what! The teach leader had introduced the bug 😂😆
Now everytime he merges some code, I start to tremble. -
! RANT
Devs find it very convinient to put the blame on users.
Well your users are the one you are making for, if they cant use it, your UX IS SHIT, and you should stop developing and go sit and cry in a corner!!! -
Jetbrains shoot them self in the lag with taken fun as function keyword in kotlin #memesWillCome.
Don't blame me i love kotlin!
I even convinced my boss that we should continue in kotlin.2 -
Git blame falls into one of 2 categories, that one guy in the office that means it's probably broken or anyone else and you probably don't understand.
If you've never experienced the former, I've got some bad news for you... -
Was thinking of some missing features for everyone's favorite source control software:
git blame problems --all
git wtf this_branch
git just_do_it_ffs
git just_fkin_merge_it branch
git abort --mylife -
System32. That goddamn p.o.s bloatware that Microsoft uses to slow your PC and blame it on viruses, getting you to buy their antivirus software. I removed mine, such clean, very speed, much easy.1
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I saved myself headaches and whenever some one talks about this thing, I leave ...
Code gets complicated? Blame the one who forced that coding style in front of management and go to sleep peacefully.
Either work like an adult and accept criticism or go away and let me do what I'm paid for ...2 -
As a machine (plc) programmer I regularly have to get my 17mm laptop out to fix mechanical problems.
It really winds me up when mechanical or electrical bods can't find the faults so they blame software, I prove to them that it's not software by using hand tools and doing their job for them.
Bone idle people! -
Gahhhh.... This side project I have been working on for the past 3 months is basically finished. However, the production build of the project seems to be breaking a key read abstracion I built. God damm it.
Can't blame anyone but me, because I should have tested this on production months ago!! -
I have a coding block. I blame school. I'm on break for 2 weeks. The first week just finished. I try to work on my personal projects and I just lose interest. I have the motivation and stuff but when I try to work on them, the feeling just goes away.
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People gets confused on how comes I get better results then them in search. They always blame since I'm a programmer1
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Dont be that guy, ok. Just clean up your shit and don't let shit go through you.
I will git blame you. I will judge you.
#leaveitbetterthanyoufoundit
2 -
Why deVops?
Because developer and production team team blame each other. when things goes crazy.
#DevopsForPeace
#DevopsFor2 -
Customer calls, "my steaming provider just called and told us were running in unprotected mode with DRM disabled" , I reply "uh what? I'm on it!" Few minutes later I see that all lines related to DRM are commented out in latest build, git blame points to the new recruit... Calling back to the customer and make up some weird reason to why this was disabled and apologize.1
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I was sober from the last ten days and just now I lost my soberity. I accidently opened the whatsup. may be wet fingures and sticky screen to blame.
-
When I get a code review by my self-proclaimed expert colleague suggesting a change that ends up breaking the feature, I just implement that spaghetti code and let the testers know I'm not to blame.
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Only in Windows does turning the power off on my monitor mean to make it my primary monitor and show login screen there. I swear they'll never get this shit right.
I'm forced to turn it on/off so windows can figure out what kind of signal to send it.
Partially blame my questionable hdmi switch. No issues with MacOS and Linux though. -
It's almost a week later since i got the note i'm not welcome anymore soon in my current company.
After 6 days i figured out a reason other then: "the fe/be tranfer doesnt go well". I just don't want to blame be-guy because he was busy as hell with at least three projects at the same time.1 -
Okay so I've been away from coding for about 2months now I think. Pretty sure I've forgotten almost everything about the languages I knew, except the basics. My plan is to learn new languages or go back and re learn the ones I knew...or both As for the reason why I haven't done any coding, I blame college. Haven't had much free time.1
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I forgot every thing and watch funny YouTube videos! And in between watching them I blame myself get depressed get angry!
I think I might be bipolar! 🤔🤣😀😂☹️3 -
Nice. It took me two hours to figure out that Helm was reading from the wrong config file. Two fucking hours. I'll just blame it on Covid-19 and call it a day.1
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Client updated the CMS today, because they apparently got confused and thought it was Windows Update...
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Excuse my question I might be the one to blame, but on Typescript 3.7 JSON.stringify parses numbers as strings, while on 3.4 it was working without issues.
I'm no pro in web dev but I did use JSON.stringify lots of times and that's something strange here, not sure what the cause is, but when I parse number props again using parseInt(value.toString()) it works .-.2
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