I hate people.

Someone just stole my laptop out of my car.

Why me?

*boss jokes around*

me: hahahahahaiwantanincreasehahahaha

Came across this and wanted to share it with everyone here! Haha

Just saw someone at school with a devRant sticker on his laptop 😃

My most successful project? The next one.

If that doesn't happen, read this again.

Got a star on GitHub once

Finally moved. My Internet speed went from 500kbs in general to 50mbs!

I can finally download por.... ISO's without having to wait for hours!

That moment when

Both Password and repeat password had the same typo! :(

Got call from extremely angry customer, our product is shit and doesn't work. At all. Important customer so I went to visit.

He had the perfect setup, our product to the left, our competitor's to the right.

He connected the Ethernet cable to their product, it worked. He plugged it out and connected to ours... Nothing. Shit.

I started to debug on the premises, took logs, everything. It seemed like our product didn't receive any data at all. What the fuck? Tried everything, debugged low level, still nothing. Sweating as hell.

After two hours I got a strange feeling. So I swapped place, our product to the right, competitor's to the left. Now OUR product worked, competitor's zilch.

THE FUCKING ETHERNET CABLE HAD A GLITCH. IF YOU BENT IT TO THE RIGHT IT WORKED, IF YOU BENT IT TO THE LEFT IT WAS BROKEN.

I had never seen a customer be this embarrassed in my life. He apologized to me, my boss, his boss, the Queen, everyone.

We got the contract.

I told my girlfriend about Devrant. Now she's hooked onto it and doesn't pay attention to me. And now I'm ranting about it on Devrant. Oh the irony! T_T

Introduce source version control tools from the very beginning.

How cute *_*

A client wanted "a video on a server".

I took a server, put it on the ground, stood on it carefully and took 'a video on a server' 😊

I was so tempted to just send it 😆

CS Professor: “What M word is the black hole to all productivity?”

Student: “Management”

CS Professor: “Was going to say meetings but that’s better”

I was told during my initial interview that the book "Clean Code" is their Bible here.

And it's true. It's lying, unread in drawers and shelves all over the office.

—_(*_*)_—

$ man unzip
Definitely the weirdest command I've used in a while

What’s the most efficient algorithm to find duplicates in a set?

An SO moderator

Did you say security?

Today (as a joke), I asked my class if there were any “professional HTML programmers” who could help me.

Surprisingly a couple people came over with smirks on their face. I thought they were going along with the joke.

Turns out, they were serious. They legitimately believed that they were professional HTML programmers and talked to me in such a condescending way that I was speechless.

“This is called a file. See that part after the dot? That’s what makes it HTML. HTML is an incredibly hard programming language and powers CPUs and the computer that you are using.”

I didn’t know how to respond. Hopefully they were joking.

Joe is a moron

Joe :- Please remove that immediately.

// Joe is a moron

Hi everybody! I wanted to share this with y'all.

Yesterday I got my Master's Degree, I'm finally free from University!

DevRant meeting is going! Having some drinks right now 😁

Manager: Hey, this is Junior. he will work with you from now on.
Me: Oh cool, we could use some help.
(moments later...)
Junior: Hey i got this error. Im new with this engine. sorry.
Me: It cool, then you should read the documentation first. its all there. including your error.
Junior: whats documentation?
Me: ...

For all the cunts ever existed! what do they teach to programmers in college these days?!

So adopting this price list. Like right now.

One of my bosses is walking through the hall brushing his teeth, and another is cooking waffles with a waffle iron. It's 1240

Was irritated and annoyed because of a client.

Someone called the support line and I was ready for some temper-holding practice.

A very sweet lady was at the other side and she couldn't figure something out and was overwhelmed by all the options she had in her new hosting package.

Very calmly helped her and guided her to the right place, step by step. She did exactly what I said instead of playing a smartass.

She finally found it and said that she appreciated it and a ton of thanks 😊.

Now that's a good way to end a work day!

Started talking about Pi-Hole (still trying to install this fucker by the way) today with a collegue.

He had it installed and showed me around a little.

CW: Alright give me an example then I'll show you wildcard blocking.
Me: google.com 😅
CW: *enters and saves it. then tries to load anything related to google.com*

*no google.com domains load, all give a blocked error*

Me: Works great!
CW: Yup.
...
...
...
...
Me: Uhm so you aren't like surprised that I went with google.com as example and that I'd genuinely would block it?!
CW: No, why would I be?
Me: Well, most people consider me paranoid/crazy the second they find out I don't want to use google/google's services.
CW: well that's fucking retarded. why would anyone redicule you for not using something you don't want to use. You'll have your reasons.
Me: So if I'd say i do it for privacy reasons, you wouldn't find that redicilous?
CW: No, why would I? Not using google (and for that matter facebook etc) for privacy reasons is very logical really.

FUCKING. THANK. YOU.

Definition of Irony:

When your css works in IE but not in Firefox.

Fuck this shit, I'm out.