devkitten is tired 😬

Every time you search "Google" into Google, God kills a kitten.

My fav way of coding.

Source: NixCraft

If I have to read the "Java developers don't C#, so they wear glasses" joke one more time, I will murder a kitten.

Every time someone posts yet another sudo joke, with all the originality of those BSOD jokes nobody's ever heard before, some god kills a kitten.

Who needs a firewall when you have a kitten

Just remember that every time you generate a GUID

... a kitten dies

Please vent your anger on this marvelous picture of a heterochromatic kitten

Internship is over and my one year old kitten is sleeping with me. Life can't be better.
Idk if he sees me as an older bro or something lol.
Anyways, good night, fellow dRs!

I used to think the magnetic power cord on the mac was a great idea...until we got a kitten. One of his greatest joys is to play havoc with the cords under the computer desk...but his favourite is the mac powercord - which he rips out without me noticing ... until the mac runs out of power and shuts down...

STOP BREAKING FOR NO FUCKING REASON YOU FRAGILE PIECE OF BUG-INFESTED SHIT

I’M NOT EVEN TOUCHING ANYTHING WTH

Please help the kittens

Late night coding with my kitten 🙂

Never new int;

Decided to upgrade my hardware a day after wk119 ends. Oof. I'll post an update once the first part (monitors) arrives, but here's a before pic in the meantime.

Monitors: 3 different brands at 3 different sizes/resolutions. Left to right: 1920x1080, 1680x1050, 1440x900.

Mic: Neewer NW-800 with a U-PHORIA UMC22 interface.

Keyboard: A DIY Nyquist kit from keeb.io with Canvas XDA keycaps.

Rubber duck: I prefer a fuzzy kitten.

Not a rant. Just a story.

So two weeks ago, a cat gave birth to two beautiful kittens in our balcony. We started giving milk to the mother and sometimes inviting the family to our house. The kittens are naughty charming. The mother sits for hours and sometimes sleeps while watching us do our chores (watching movies, coding, etc.)

Now, we live in New Delhi and Wednesday was Diwali. The family was playing in the balcony and we had to go out. So we locked the balcony door and went to have fun with friends. We didn't realize that people would burst firecrackers which could scare the cats. When we returned, the mother was very scared and (kind of) screaming. One of the kittens was missing!! We live on the fourth floor and I got scared too. We searched using a flashlight but there was no sign of kitten. After 30 minutes of search, We gave up. I assumed the kitten jumped from the balcony and might be dead. I tried to sleep but could not. Around 4 AM in the morning, I heard some noise. When I opened the door, the second kitten was there. Her mom was scolding (or so it seemed). It was a moment of joy.

Thought of sharing. This family has become our friends. Now I realize how cats are good companions.

Unpopular opinion: Fuck laptops

Even with proper care and monthly maintenance, they're still loud as a vacuum cleaner, and hot as a fucking stove. Yes I know it's a bit hotter these days and maybe mine isn't the latest top of the line model, but even my gf's Inspirion 17R (old I know, but she got one unused) tho relatively quiet, heats up as all hell even when it's on a cooling pad as soon as you try to do anything on it.
Maybe I'm alone on this, but I just think that when it comes to laptops, it's go big or go home. My Desktop PC is a relic of the past, but it still purrs like a fucking kitten, even under heavy loads in this weather

!dev

Saved this little one today (with some help)

We found it alone and seemingly scared/confused
It was shivering and it was very weak without its mother...
And its two siblings didn't survive :(

It's under care of some friends right now and they are going to take it to a care center tomorrow :)

Realized I hadn’t subjected you guys to cat photos.

The brown cat is Robert Lazarus (the rescue named him Bob) and the white and brown cat is Dylan Thomas (rescue named him Dylan).

Bobcat died as a kitten (thus his middle name) and was brought back to life, but was blind for a bit as a result. According to legend, Tomcat acted as his seeing eye cat when he wasn’t able to see on his own. Bobcat’s vision’s better now (though he still might have some issues as he’s a little iffy on balance sometimes), but the rescue didn’t want to separate the two of them since they were a bonded pair.

Loads of people wanted Tomcat but didn’t want to take a chance on a zombie cat. Which I’m constantly thankful for because they’re awesome. Even if they steal my keyboard and try to eat my notes and try (and succeed) to jump on me while I’m trying to cook because they want to play with the feather toy that’s been hidden (not so well!) on top of the fridge and know it’s their best shot at getting up there.

I accidentally created something adorable. See, what happened was I wanted to figure out how to programmatically create blobcats for different countries, since I’d done it by hand for every country represented at my company and wanted a quick way to catch up once we add people from different countries.

Enter Cloudinary!
Wrote a transform that would take the image, shrink it to 150 px wide, then add the blobcat emoji as the underlayer behind and above it, then add the little arms I drew die holding the flag on top.

And that worked! I had a folder of flags and the frontend could query them using the transformations and the country blobcats were born! I even added a preset so I could view the little blobcats with their flags when I looked at the uploaded flags

But then I’m like “Eh, each transform adds a thing against my limit and I really don’t want to go over if this gets popular (why do I ever think _that’s_ a possibility?). I know! I’ll just add the transform on upload and reupload all the flags to a different folder! Then I’ll just need to request the image instead of having to do the transform per request.

And that worked!

But I forgot I still had my preset transform on.

So in addition to the successful country blobcat, I had a preview of what I like to call papa blobcat with kitten blobcat.

Personally I am starting to think that any development tools, resources and sites should not be allowed to use marketing dribble.

It should go
-> Land on home page
-> Hi, we are a realtime database cloud host
-> no you cannot host it yourself
-> here is code to speak to our servers
-> here is the cost
->now take it or go.

Something like that, and not

We provide clients with the leading cloud and hosted data solutions that can scale vertically and horizontally on and offline data management keeping people connected and saving kittens.

Fuck you show me one kitten you saved? Lying pieces of shit that do not want to just say hey this is what we have , this is ours, it may not be much but it is what we believe in and if you would like to use it here is how , thank you now move the fuck along our server can't handle so many concurrent connections.

Do you remember that one kitten I shared with y'all?
He is probably going to die in a few days. He is in an intensive care unite atm.
Fml. Just unlucky things happen to the pets I own.

Build an app that would tell you about all the news that mainstream media doesn't want to cover, like what's happening in parts of Africa, the enslaved workers in the far East and the situation of the Syrian and Iraqi lands under siege.

Then follows it with a cute baby/puppy/kitten video so you don't end up looking at the "empty half of the cup"

Deployed to ~/

Finally back at home (after having some trouble with Deutsche Bahn).
It is cold and cloudy here.
It feels so weird to use a laptop. I was there (in Turkey) only with my phone, typing this post on my laptop. The screen is so god damn big.
My bed is very soft. My kitten got very strong and fluffy. He looks more muscular now lol. And it seems like he missed us :3.
I missed him and I missed my car that I did not like like a month ago. I really understood how much value it has. Besides of that my mind is clean now. It was like meditation.
Fuck that pussy ass description.
How was your day, fellas?

This summer, i will have all the time in the world. I will be finally free (as in, alone at home). And, most importantly, i will have a months old kitten to take care of.

I'm so excited.

tldr: Fuck Adobe Premiere

What the flying fuck.
I have a school project together with a friend and decided to do a video. Not only do we now only have one fucking day left, because the teacher decided we dont need time or anything, but I have to learn video editing software, record clips and create the video withing one fucking day.
I've downloaded Premiere because I have a 7 day trial left and had Creative Cloud on my PC and WHAT THE FUCK kind of fucked up bullshit software is this human compiled piece of shit?! I needed to google how to add text and edit it because adding text gives you absolutely nothing, you get no possibility to edit the text in any way, except the content. After googling for 10 minutes because I have the newest version and they changed the text tool, I found out that you need to go to another tab... of which there is 7 and all have such telling names like: "Effects" and "Compose"...
I needed to go to "Effects" BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT, TEXT SURE LOOKS LIKE AN EFFECT TO ME! Then I wanted to align it to the right so its on 50% of the screen. You fucking cant, I've tried and looked for an hour the only possibility you have is to align it to the center or just throw it somewhere. The snapping didn't even work correctly. So I tried to do something else because I was ready to punch a kitten.
A box. A box thats black. A box thats black and thats aligned to the... FUCK YOU, YOU CANT ALIGN THIS BOX.

I cant align a box...
They dont even give me the possibility to...
But I can align the text BOX, not even the FUCKING TEXT itself...

What
The
Fuck

This is the worst program I've EVER had to use. I'm fucking mad and this fucking project can FUCK ITSELF.

The first stickers for my laptop aw yeah, also bonus kitten

I'm getting pretty tired of all those fuck faces calling themselves "evangelists" and are talking constantly and euphorically about "digitalisation" and "industry 4.0", as if their "skills" (using a smartphone to share kitten videos and making pointless PowerPoint slides using stock images showing some stupid motherfucker with VR goggles making weird gestures) would help them to rise to the pinnacle of "the future" (as conceived by them), while those stupid shit heads are exactly those we'll get rid of first as soon as somebody develops a bullshit generator AI for technobabble (with an export function to PowerPoint), putting those morons out of business for good.

So this cat (stray) used to come with her baby kitten, for food. Mama always fed the baby first, licked her, protected her....
Fast forward, now the baby kitten is all grown up. Now if she comes near mamas food, she gets growls and a nasty smack from mama cat. :D :D

How much I hate when I see

double x;
if (x = 1)
do_something();

Seriously, why is that so appealing to you?

As well as

int i = 0;
for (; i < n; ++i)
do_something();

This became a tradition when waking up DevOps. When I wrote the escalation SOP, I felt it needed to be included. I don't think anybody's noticed it yet...

Apparently my kitten was outside while raining. I do not know , she seemed kind of sad (gloomy) and placed herself at a corner . I covered with a blanket and put her in an open cupboard (home).
Anything else recommended?

There is no fucking holy grail of programming. It's better to use the right tools for each task instead of wasting hours to make the wrong tool do a horrible job. But noooooo. Even since this co-worker got here, he bragged how good Drupal 7 is for everything, and he never even ised it once before! Now we have 2 fucking projects beyond schedule and a new one coming ing, each of which tries to use a fucking CMS as if it was a fucking framework. Fucking idiots who believe setting a couple of options via gui to generate random code means programming. Fucking bosses who believe using 3rd party community modules and hacking around them to have them do different stuff is better than coding what we need. I fucking gave up and started using raw php to be able to finish this fucking project, but my damn co-worker refuses to. He keeps swearing and punching the desk, saying it's our clients' fault for asking stupid features, and if you dare to mention how it may because we're using a cms like it was a framework, he just goes full bigot about Drupal. Bloody Hell, it would have taken lass than 3 weeks in Rails. I could just headbutt a kitten right now.

Stop useing lazy loaders, every time you use a lazy loader a kitten dies.

In the early 2010s, at select locations, Nokia Oro phone was offered bundled with a portable IPL hair removal device. Its enclosure was made entirely of leather, layers upon layers of compacted leather of different kinds. It gave you access to Queer Mode™ — engage it and have sex with any of your thoughts. Your mind was your oyster, but it was in fact being turned into a two-bedroom all-white apartment designed by Karim Rashid.

As the tech was getting older, the only way to source capacitors was syncing your Alienware table clock with the root node using a non-laptop that had shapeshifting black goo for keyboard.

Small puppy that ran Windows 8 was always smothered in shit. The white non-kitten ran Nokia’s version of QNX.

good guy pexel allows me to insert free random kitten pictures as an easter egg, retrieving all by a tidy api. made my day.
no affiliation, only gratitude.