Google is on the joke

One of the reasons I love Google!

I'm 20, and I consider myself to be as junior as they come. I only started programming seriously in June 2016,and since then, I've been doing mainly Android Work, and making my own servers and backends(using AWS/Firebase nd stuff).
For the first time in life, I was approached by a recruiter for a company on linkedIn. They "stumbled upon" my Github profile and wanted to see if I was interested in an internship opportunity. This company is an early stage start up, by that I mean a dude with an idea calling himself the CEO and a guy who "runs a tech blog" and only knows college level C programming (explaination follows).

So they want me to make the app for their startup. and for that, I ws first asked to solve a couple problems to prove my competence and a "technical interview" followed.
They gave me 3 questions, all textbook, GCD of 2 numbers, binary search and Adding an element to the linked List, code to be written on a piece of paper. As the position was that of an Android Developer, I assumed that Java should be the language of choice. Assumed because when I asked, the 'tech blogger' said, yeah whatever.
But wait, that ain't all, as soon as I was done, Mr. Blogger threw a fit, saying I shouldn't assume and that I must write it in C. I kept my cool (I'm not the most patient person), and wrote the whole thing in C.
He read it, and asked me what I've written and then told me how wrong I was to write 2 extra lines instead of recursion for GCD. I explained that with numbers large enough, we run the risk of getting a stackoverflow and it's best to apply non recursive solution if possible. He just heard stackoverflow and accused me of cheating. I should have left right then, but I don't know why, I apologized and again, in detail explained what was happening to this fucktard. Once this was done, He asked me how, if I had to, I'd use this exact code in my Android App. I told him that Id rather write this in Java/Kotlin since those are the languages native to Android apps. I also said that I'd export these as a Library and use JNI for the task. (I don't actually know how, I figured I can study if I have to).
Here's his reply, "WTF! We don't want to make the app in Java, we will use C (Yeh, not C++, C). and Don't use these fancy TOOLS like JNI or Kotlin in front of me, make a proper application."
By this I was clear that this guy is not fit to be technical lead and that I should leave. I said, "Sir, I don't know how, if even possible, can we make an Android App purely in C. I am sorry, but this job is not for me".
I got up and was about to leave the room, when we said, "Yeah okay, I was just testing you".
Yeah right, the guy's face looked like a howling monkey when I said Library for C, and It has been easier for me to explain code to my 10 year old cousin that this dumbfuck.
He then proceeded to ask me about my availability, and I said that I can at max to 15-20 hours a week since my college schedule is pretty tight. I asked me to get him a prototype in 2 months and also offered me a full time job after I graduate. (That'd be 2 years from now). I said thank you for the offer, but I am still not sure of I am the right person for this job.
He then said, "Oh you will be when I tell you your monthly stipend."
I stopped for a second, because, money.
And then he proceeded to say 2 words which made me walk out without saying a single word.
"One Thousand".

I live in India, 1000 INR translates to roughly $15. I made 25 times that by doing nothing more than add a web view to an activity and render a company's responsive website in it so it looks like an app.

If this wasn't enough, the recruiter later had the audacity to blame me for it and tell me how lucky I am to even get an offer "so good".
Fuck inexperienced assholes trying shit they don't understand and thinking that the other guy is shitsworth.

The exact moment when I understood what programming actually was.

I was getting hard times at my 3rd college grade, trying to implement the recursive sudoku solver in python. Teacher spent a lot of time trying to explain me things like referential transparency, recursion and returning the new value instead of modifying the old one and everything related. I just couldn't get it.

I was one of the least productive students, i couldn't even understand merge sort.

I was struggling with for loops and indexes, and then suddenly something clicked in my head, like someone flipped a switch, and i understood everything i was explained, all at once. It was like enlightenment, like pure magic.

I had sudoku solver implemented by the end of the lecture. Linked list, hash map, sets, social graphs, i got all of these implemented later, it wasn't a problem anymore. I later got an A for my diploma.

Thank you @dementiy, you were the reason for my career to blast off.

My own programming language (still WIP). I got SO excited when I found recursion worked, I even got the simplest factorial recursive function wrong. And then again, once arrays worked, bubble sort it was. I shit you not, once I saw all the numbers printed in order, I had to stand up and walk or I would have jumped out of the chair in excitement.

In case someone is interested, I use LLVM for the backend.

This is hilarious! 😂

Dad, I can't sleep.

I had a coworker that was a real asshole. I noticed that often, during git merges, he removed part of the code I wrote.
So I had to spend a lot of time copying and pasting my code from git history in order to restore it.
I complained about that but he answered it happened by mistake. In reality that happened so often that he had to done it deliberately.

Btw, I did a little revenge. One day I discovered he didn't feel very comfortable using recursion. Thereafter, every time I needed a small loop I created a recursive function doing the same thing.

Fortunately, after some months I found a better job. I hope he is still debugging that code.

I just came across this piece of recursive code, as much as I can guess this should be an infinite recursion but somehow it executes and does terminate. Can anybody tell me how this happens and what will be it's time complexity ?

That feeling when recursion finally "clicks", and you begin instantly identifying candidates in your code for recursive solutions.

You might need to take a break when you get a "max recursion depth exceeded" error when you weren't even trying to build a recursive function.

So I have this code written in node:

Function connect(){
const client = net.blahblah

client.on('close', () => {
Connect()
}
}

As the connect is called from within the close call back, it wouldn't be recursive right? Like if it disconnected a million times, it shouldn't throw a recursion error or use up a bunch of memory right? Or am I thinking about it wrong?

Ok so.. thoughts on MySQL,
SELECT max(column_name) from table_name;
Outputs the max value in the column by kinda traversing the whole column huh... Recursive🤔

While
SELECT concat(column_name) from table_name; outputs simple endl separated srrings. . .. no recursion. PHP backend sucks
😣

I got to a point where I have a multi-level recursive promises within loops and my mental map is by far not enough to process this. I wish there were some visualisation tools for this - though I don't even know how it could look like. All I know is that at some point I'm returning a wrong promise and the recursion is not correctly handled.