Trying to login...
"Sorry your password is expired. You have to change the password every 60 days".

«Oooh, c'mon...» Inserting a new password...
"The password must contain at least 1 lowercase letter, 1 uppercase letter, 2 numbers and 1 non-alphanumeric character.

«Please, fuck off and die...» Typing again and eventually entering to private area...

My phone vibrate, there is a new SMS: "Your new password is H0lySh1t!"

WTF. Are you serious?

An application based on a single MySQL stored procedure that contained all the application business logic inside of it (plus a poor webapp that simply called it). The stored procedure had 97 (yes, NINETY SEVEN) parameters... and about half of them were boolean flag used for enabling/disabling another parameter. I think that Uncle Bob could follow you holding an AK-47 if he saw that. The saddest part is that the shit was written by a guy having a PhD in computer science, and he knew that was bad, but the boss asked him to do it in that way. The guy left the company before I joined it and I had to maintain that crap. Guys, the first time I saw it I thought that should be a joke. Code generated by decompilers was easier to read, maybe even Brainfuck. I tried complaining with the boss but she said that the system was wonderful and very efficient. This was one of the reasons I moved to another company after some months.

!rant

For people like me, always committing on the wrong branch, this is fucking awesome:

https://github.com/jimeh/...

Recruiter of the day: "Hi [...] I think you will be very interested in <random startup name>. You will work on Digital Projects."
Oh, really?!? I thought I would wrote code on paper!

mvn clean install

Ok, let's go to prepare some tea...

So you bought a new laptop... Really cool...

I've just googled "git how undo amend".
I can't believe I was able to put a mistake over a mistake.

Achievement of the day: breaking GitHub doing a forced push.
(Apparently I was able to create a kind of ghost commit that randomly appeared and disappeared from a pull request, plus other random errors 🤪)

!rant

This week I started a new job.

My role changed from "Full-stack-web-developer-sysadmin-DBA-helpdesk-strange-person-fixing-stuff-around" to "Back-end Developer".

Moreover, it's a full remote position (so difficult to find in Italy!), so:
1. I can wake up 1.5 hours later;
2. I don't have to waste anymore 2 hours every fucking day driving in traffic to reach the workplace;
3. I can use my fucking bathroom;
4. I can drink hot tea in August without being criticized. 😀

I'm fucking happy!

I've been very busy in the last weeks so I haven't read a lot about the recent "Linux CoC drama".

Now I'm reading what happened and, well... I'm disgusted.

Especially being a woman, I'm disgusted knowing that a group of people pretend to speak for me saying that we don't need meritocracy, but only more "inclusivity" (whatever that means). I don't give a fuck of your gender, write useful code and I'll appreciate you. And please, give me back the original Linus Torvalds: his irreverence made me laugh.

Sure, sometimes discrimination exists, however good companies will hire you if you are competent, no matter how you look. Instead, I encountered some incompetent women whining about "nobody listen to my ideas because I'm a woman". No, RTFM and maybe you will able to propose better ideas and people will listen to you.

"This is not an application: it's a bug pretending to be an application." (This comment was left as an app review on Google Play Store)

I'm moving some old data into a new database.

It contains some dates that *should* be in ISO 8601...

This is some of the trash that I found:
01/01/70
2010-11-05T08:06:48T08:06:03.7
2007-09-13T

Moreover, it has a column which *should* contains numbers, instead it has been defined using varchar, so it contains also some wonderful 'NaN' values.

I really would like to beat the person who set up all this stuff without some basic validation policies.

C'mon guys! 80 hours, 70 hours, 40 hours... Are you humans or fucking robots?
Once I stayed awake 36 hours helped by energy drinks and I could barely remember my name.
I can't really imagine how somebody could write useful code with such a huge sleep deprivation.

Ok, now I can go to bed.

This made my day: http://agilebullshitgenerator.com/

Many thanks MySQL. Really a good way to implement a driver. Go fuck yourself.

I've filled so much my disk that I can't even use tab autocompletion on the terminal 😆

I had to add a "I'm not a robot" checkbox to protect an email address written in a page reachable only from our intranet. Boss asked, I executed.

The most crazy issue I've fixed was caused by a TCP behavior which I didn't know, called the "half-closed connection".
There was a third-party application installed on a production server which called a LDAP server for retrieving users information. During the day we had several users using the application and all worked fine. During the night, when the application was not accessed, something happened and the first call to the application in the morning was stuck for about 5 minutes before returning a response. I tried to reproduce the issue in a testing environment without success. Then I discovered that the application and the LDAP server were located on two different networks, with a firewall between them. And firewalls sometimes drop old connections. For this reason network applications usually implement a keep-alive mechanism. Well, the default LDAP Java libraries don't set the keep-alive on their connections. So, I found a library called "libdontdie", which force the keep-alive on the connections. I installed the library on the server, loaded it at the startup and the weird stuck behavior in the morning disappeared.

Sure! I'll choose a job because of the free ice cream!

Are you fucking kidding me?

So, eventually they understood a lot of SO users are assholes. 😁

I've just updated my career interests on LinkedIn selecting only the "Remote" checkbox.
After some hours I received the first offer: «We are looking for [...] Unfortunately, remote work is not an option today, however, we do offer full relocation and immigration support.»

So, still SPAM. Again. Fuck.

A poor horndog developer started bothering me with useless appreciations like «Oh, a female developer, such a rarity...»
After some chatting he asked me: «How tall are you?»
My answer was: «2FuF8A, find the correct decoding by yourself».
It is "1,67" encoded in Base58 (because Base64 is too mainstream).
He never came back with the solution.

Just refactored some crap I wrote 3 years ago. I feel good now.

The time my Java EE technology stack disappointed me most was when I noticed some embarrassing OutOfMemoryError in the log of a server which was already in production. When I analyzed the garbage collector logs I got really scared seeing the heap usage was constantly increasing. After some days of debugging I discovered that the terrible memory leak was caused by a bug inside one of the Java EE core libraries (Jersey Client), while parsing a stupid XML response. The library was shipped with the application server, so it couldn't be replaced (unless installing a different server). I rewrote my code using the Restlet Client API and the memory leak disapperead. What a terrible week!

Uhm... I suspect there is a null variable somewhere...

Do you know what happened to grepcode.com? It was a nice service!

Maven ♥ love on StackOverflow.com :D

I go to techno hardcore parties. The volume is so loud that usually nobody speaks to you, but you can take pictures in a very crowded environment, so when you put them on Facebook people think you are a social person, while in the reality you talk more with your computer than with humans. :D

«But... why man??? Let's call it "person-in-the-middle", so that it is fairer!»
All this fucking politically correctness is killing us.