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Details

About

Full stack web developer and much more
Skills

Java, JavaScript, PHP, CSS, HTML, MySQL, PostgreSQL, LDAP, Linux, Bash
Location

Italy

Joined devRant on 5/12/2018

13

When you are searching a solution for your problem so desperately that Google sends you to the Russian version of Stackoverflow.com (and you don't speak Russian).

rant fml

11
11

I've just opened LinkedIn (I don't know why) and I found an hilarious job offered in the home page: they are searching a JUNIOR programmer (for an internship) having experience in RPG IV programming language and OS/400. I never heard of that so I googled it and... LMAO.

joke/meme internship wtf is this hr junior when cobol

5
39

Amateur astronomy, even if I'm no longer doing astrophotography. This is an old photo, I made this in 2010 (it's the Andromeda galaxy, an easy subject).

rant astronomy wk142

12
40

YouTube comments, the serious ones.

random youtube comment wtf

8
169

I tried to imagine how a Dev Genie could look. 😅

random wk141 devgenie

18
28

!important

rant css wk140

5
32

Every time some assholes decide to mix part of the business logic inside the presentation layer.

<body>
<?php
// Let's query the db here...
?>

<body>
<%
/* Hey, I'm a JSP! Why not defining some custom logic here, so nobody will able to debug it? */
%>

rant wk140

2
16

Expectation: Today is the last day before holidays and yesterday I completed a complex task, so today I'll have a very relaxing day involving implementing only some simple changes.

Reality: I've just solved a dependency conflict between the project I modified yesterday and another project depending on it that caused the failure of some tests inside the latter panicking my coworkers who quickly asked me "WTF you merged in the core project!?!?"

Yeah, I really need these holidays.

rant holidays headache continuously fucking maven dependency hell

1
96

Trying to login...
"Sorry your password is expired. You have to change the password every 60 days".

«Oooh, c'mon...» Inserting a new password...
"The password must contain at least 1 lowercase letter, 1 uppercase letter, 2 numbers and 1 non-alphanumeric character.

«Please, fuck off and die...» Typing again and eventually entering to private area...

My phone vibrate, there is a new SMS: "Your new password is H0lySh1t!"

WTF. Are you serious?

rant sms security password cleartext wtf

14
49

An application based on a single MySQL stored procedure that contained all the application business logic inside of it (plus a poor webapp that simply called it). The stored procedure had 97 (yes, NINETY SEVEN) parameters... and about half of them were boolean flag used for enabling/disabling another parameter. I think that Uncle Bob could follow you holding an AK-47 if he saw that. The saddest part is that the shit was written by a guy having a PhD in computer science, and he knew that was bad, but the boss asked him to do it in that way. The guy left the company before I joined it and I had to maintain that crap. Guys, the first time I saw it I thought that should be a joke. Code generated by decompilers was easier to read, maybe even Brainfuck. I tried complaining with the boss but she said that the system was wonderful and very efficient. This was one of the reasons I moved to another company after some months.

rant stored procedure boss wk133 boss driven architecture

3
12

!rant

For people like me, always committing on the wrong branch, this is fucking awesome:

https://github.com/jimeh/...

rant bash thanks branch git

2
30

Recruiter of the day: "Hi [...] I think you will be very interested in <random startup name>. You will work on Digital Projects."
Oh, really?!? I thought I would wrote code on paper!

rant vagueness recruiter

3
12

mvn clean install

Ok, let's go to prepare some tea...

joke/meme maven

2
100

So you bought a new laptop... Really cool...

rant fucking ports

21
9

I've just googled "git how undo amend".
I can't believe I was able to put a mistake over a mistake.

rant fml git

2
12

Achievement of the day: breaking GitHub doing a forced push.
(Apparently I was able to create a kind of ghost commit that randomly appeared and disappeared from a pull request, plus other random errors 🤪)

rant breaking stuff forced push github

3
70

!rant

This week I started a new job.

My role changed from "Full-stack-web-developer-sysadmin-DBA-helpdesk-strange-person-fixing-stuff-around" to "Back-end Developer".

Moreover, it's a full remote position (so difficult to find in Italy!), so:
1. I can wake up 1.5 hours later;
2. I don't have to waste anymore 2 hours every fucking day driving in traffic to reach the workplace;
3. I can use my fucking bathroom;
4. I can drink hot tea in August without being criticized. 😀

I'm fucking happy!

rant new job

13
102

I've been very busy in the last weeks so I haven't read a lot about the recent "Linux CoC drama".

Now I'm reading what happened and, well... I'm disgusted.

Especially being a woman, I'm disgusted knowing that a group of people pretend to speak for me saying that we don't need meritocracy, but only more "inclusivity" (whatever that means). I don't give a fuck of your gender, write useful code and I'll appreciate you. And please, give me back the original Linus Torvalds: his irreverence made me laugh.

Sure, sometimes discrimination exists, however good companies will hire you if you are competent, no matter how you look. Instead, I encountered some incompetent women whining about "nobody listen to my ideas because I'm a woman". No, RTFM and maybe you will able to propose better ideas and people will listen to you.

rant coc linux shit sjw inclusivity fuck rtfm politically correct

28
379

"This is not an application: it's a bug pretending to be an application." (This comment was left as an app review on Google Play Store)

rant wk123

4
38

I'm moving some old data into a new database.

It contains some dates that *should* be in ISO 8601...

This is some of the trash that I found:
01/01/70
2010-11-05T08:06:48T08:06:03.7
2007-09-13T

Moreover, it has a column which *should* contains numbers, instead it has been defined using varchar, so it contains also some wonderful 'NaN' values.

I really would like to beat the person who set up all this stuff without some basic validation policies.

rant database validation tons of crap fml

9
124

C'mon guys! 80 hours, 70 hours, 40 hours... Are you humans or fucking robots?
Once I stayed awake 36 hours helped by energy drinks and I could barely remember my name.
I can't really imagine how somebody could write useful code with such a huge sleep deprivation.

rant wtf wk121

23
250

Ok, now I can go to bed.

joke/meme gitfiti

1
24

This made my day: http://agilebullshitgenerator.com/

joke/meme 😆 agile buzzwords

6
33

Many thanks MySQL. Really a good way to implement a driver. Go fuck yourself.

rant fml heap mysql outofmemory jvm big resultset

8
47

I've filled so much my disk that I can't even use tab autocompletion on the terminal 😆

rant i'm going to delete some files disk full

7
299

I had to add a "I'm not a robot" checkbox to protect an email address written in a page reachable only from our intranet. Boss asked, I executed.

rant wk118 useless dumb request

7
10

The most crazy issue I've fixed was caused by a TCP behavior which I didn't know, called the "half-closed connection".
There was a third-party application installed on a production server which called a LDAP server for retrieving users information. During the day we had several users using the application and all worked fine. During the night, when the application was not accessed, something happened and the first call to the application in the morning was stuck for about 5 minutes before returning a response. I tried to reproduce the issue in a testing environment without success. Then I discovered that the application and the LDAP server were located on two different networks, with a firewall between them. And firewalls sometimes drop old connections. For this reason network applications usually implement a keep-alive mechanism. Well, the default LDAP Java libraries don't set the keep-alive on their connections. So, I found a library called "libdontdie", which force the keep-alive on the connections. I installed the library on the server, loaded it at the startup and the weird stuck behavior in the morning disappeared.

rant tcp ldap wk117 connections network issue

2
313

Sure! I'll choose a job because of the free ice cream!

Are you fucking kidding me?

rant job advertisement wtf rectruitment

39
525

So, eventually they understood a lot of SO users are assholes. 😁

rant stackoverflow.com code of conduct wow

26
15

I've just updated my career interests on LinkedIn selecting only the "Remote" checkbox.
After some hours I received the first offer: «We are looking for [...] Unfortunately, remote work is not an option today, however, we do offer full relocation and immigration support.»

So, still SPAM. Again. Fuck.

rant linkedin i don't want to relocate fuck recruiters

2

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