Even though I'm a web developer I work in a very small IT department, which includes just me and my colleague.

Yesterday we got a pretty usual request. Someone forgot the password to an excel file. We already started a brute force attack, but we had some fun going through the worst passwords we ever stubbled over in our carrier.

He was like:"Maybe it's just his name?"

Me: "Oooh or maybe it's just the brand and 123?"

We laughed a lot. Not really considering we could crack this "important" file.

But it really worked out. The password was the brand of the business unit and "2017".

I've sent everthing back to the user, telling him exactly how we cracked it... His answer was:"Oh yeah! I knew it was something easy, so me and x could remember it easily!"

...

Why do you forgive easy passwords anyway? If I can crack it within 5 minutes... Everyone can! ...

And if you do it to "remember it easily"? Why the fuck don't you remember it?

So a car hit me while I was riding the bike back from work and I fractured my collarbone. And I have to wear a sling on my left arm 24/7 for 4 weeks now.

But that's not the worst part.

Coding with one hand is.

Criteria for selecting beta testers at my company:

Manager: How’s the progress coming along?

Dev: The section of code I’m working with is one of the more difficult ones so it’s a little slow

Manager: Ok well I didn’t write that section of the code

Dev: I’m not saying you did I’m just giving you the status update that you asked for

Manager: Ok well I can’t really do anything about that so how about you tell me something I can do something about instead of just complaining about code THAT I DIDN’T EVEN WRITE!! *Marks self as offline*

Dev: …

I got my job because I've been myself. As soon as I laughed with the interviewers I knew I got it.

They choose you for a interview out of all the other CVs because they hope you know your stuff. Proof it! And most important - show your character. Don't be a blank paper! Make fun with them. Or at least leave some kind of positiv impression.

The funny part:
I applied for jobs in Austria while doing my Bachelor degree in the UK. Over Skype they had no idea I was wearing sweatpants.

Boss: "Sooo.... How long will it take?"

Me: "Maybe we should agree on some processes and specify your wishes for the new feature first?"

Boss: "Yeah you're right.... But what do you think? Will you get it done til $deadline?"

...

Why am I even trying? Who needs project management anyway?

Naming variables and functions.

!rant

The AH-MAZ-ING feeling you get when you write 200 lines of code without compiling and everything just works as planned!!!

YAY!

Boss at the start of a new project: "We could hire an intern to gatter some data in an excel list... You can easily implement that in the application later - right? So can you get us a excel list to fill out? "

No... Just no...

You tell me what you wanna see and how you wanna interact with the application!

In the process we will figure out which data is necessary, I will build some tables in the database for that data and then, !!! not a second sooner !!! , I'll be able to give you an suitable excel list, which includes a complete list of columns for the necessary data in a form I can work with it.

It's not my job to know what data a application needs to make YOUR JOB easier! I'm not a magician! I just love programming stuff!

My job. Working in a small IT department. Web programming most of the day and being able to help people with their phones, software, internet connection, and so on...

The only thing I sometimes wished for were some other devs in my company that would understand me and my problems and with whom I could discuss new technologies.

But now I got devrant. I'll be fine from now on.

I'm currently trying out Apache Cordova. Feels like playing minesweeper for the first time.

But as always a debugger rushes to rescue me:

Ripple :: Environment Warming Up (Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.)

Yes, I'm gonna make me a cup of tea now.

I really do love my job but after 2 liters of green tea and one aspirin I'm still tired and my headache is coming back
...
This can't be a healthy relationship...

My colleague is actually on vacation... But nevertheless he is kind of working from home...

He is forwarding me emails that I think he wants me to answer / take care about just to realize he already did everything...
People constantly come to me with problems they just discussed with him and think that I know about it.
No I don't!

Am I the only person not calling or emailing my colleague? He is on vacation! God damnit...
I hate humans...

I met @miau in England at University, through the only course we shared, Games for the Internet. I really wanted to be her friend because I thought she was pretty cool.

@miau looks incredibly confident. She has humor, imagination and is a really talented programmer.

She, on the other hand, did not want to have anything to do with other German-speaking students to improve her English skills and learn as much about England as possible.

Fortunately, I can be very stubborn. I helped her with her programming tasks whenever she let me and told her what our professor values. A few tests and beers later we were friends.

Programming. Where listening to music and ignoring collegues means you're hard at work.

Hey ... Is it possible to figure out the clients path (f.e. C:\Users\...) to a file he uploaded to a website on the server side?

My boss thinks it could be done and wants me to programm it. But I think we'd need a zero day vulnerability in a specific (and probably very old) browser to do something like that... That would be a huge security issue...
Wouldn't it?

What do you think?

So I have spent the entire morning trying to fix null values in the database, because they keep fucking up my code.

I hate the fucking person who made the database at the place I work, dude has not heard of a thing called NOT NULL!!!