An intern I was supposed to lead (as an intern) and work with. Which sounded kinda crazy to me, but also fun so I rolled with it. But when I met her I quickly found out she didn't even have a coding editor installed and when I advised one she was "scared of virusses". She had Microsoft Edge in her toolbar, and some picture of a cat as a background. We were given some project by our boss, and a freelance programmer helped us set it up on Trello. Great, lets start! Oke maybe first some R&D, she had to reaeach how to use the Twilio API. After catching her on WhatsApp a few times I realised this wasnt gonna go anywere. After a few weeks of coding and posting a initial project to git I asked her if she could show me the code of the API she made so far..

She told me she was using the quickstart guide (the last 3 FUCKING weeks) which contained some test project with specific use cases.

The one that I did 3 weeks ago that same fucking morning.

AND SHE WAS STILL NOT DONE...

A few days later I asked her about the progress (strangly, I wasn't allowed ti give her another task bcs the freelanc already did) and guess what... She got fking pissed at me

Her: "I will come to you when im done, ok?"
Me: "I just want to see how it is going so far and if you are running into any problems!"
Her: "I dont want to show you right now"

She then goes to my fucking boss to tell him I am bothering her.

And omg... Please dear god please kill me now...

Instead of him saying the she probably didn't do shit. He says to me that the girl thinks im looking down on her and she needs a stress free environment to work in. She will show me when its done. ITS A FUCKING QUICKSTART GUIDE YOU DUMB BITCH.

He then procceeded to whine to me about the email template (another project I do at the same time) which didn't look perfect in all of his clients.

Dont they understand that I am not a frontend developer? Can you stop please? I know nothing about email templates, I told you this!!!

Really... the whole fucking internship the only thing the girl did was ask people if they want more tea. Then she starts cleaning the windows, talk to people for an hour, or clean everyone's dask.

all this while I already made 50% of the fucking product and she just finished the quickstart tutorial 😭. Truly 2 months wasted, and the worse thing is I didn't get any apprication. They constantly blamed me and whined at me. Sometimes for being 3 minutes late, the other for smoking too much, or because I drink to much coffee, or that I dont eat healthy. They even forced me to play Ping Pong. While im just trying to do my job. One of the worst things they got mad at me for if when my laptop got hacked bcs it was infected with some virus. He had remote access and bought 5 iPhones 6's with my paypal while I was on break. I had to go home and quickly reset all my passwords and make sure the iPhones wouldnt get delivered. strange this was, this laptop I only used at the company. So it must have been software I had to download there. Probably phpstorm (torrent). Bcs nobody would give me a license. And the freelancer said I * have to *.

the monday after I still had to reinstall windows so I called them and said I would be late. when I came they were so disrepectfull and didn't understand anything. It went a little like this:

Boss: why u late?
Me: had to reinstall my laptop, sorry.
Boss: why didnt you do this in your own time?
Me: well, I didn't have any time.
Boss: cant you do this in the weekend or something? Because now we have to pay you several hours bcs you downloaded something at home.

Me: I am only using this laptop for work so thats not possible.

Boss: how can that even be possible? You are not doing anything at home with your laptop? Is that why you never do anything at home?

Me: uhm, I have desktop computer you know. Its much faster. And I also need to rest sometimes. Areeb (freelancer) told me to torrent the software. He gave me the link. 2 days later this happends

Boss: Ahh okeee I see.. Well dont let it happen again.

After that nobody at the compamy trusted me with anything computer related. Yes it was my own fault I downloaded a virus but it can happen to anyone. After that I never used Windows again btw, also no more auto login apps.

I noticed something...

I drink a lot of coffee. I also drink tea. But usually when I want something sweet. So, lots of sweetener.

Sometimes I go and make me a cup of coffee and a cup of tea at the same time. And then, then it happens.

When I want to sip from my cup of tea and I reach for my tea, everything is fine. Same goes when I want a sip of coffee.

But woe me when I want a sip of tea and accidentally take a sip of coffee. You see, it's not the rapid switching between coffee and tea, it's the expectation of taking a sip of sweet tea and getting bitter black coffee. Suddenly coffee is the most disgusting thing I've ever drunken.

But give me half a minute and then I drink a sip of coffee on purpose and I like it again.

Yet, while I don't expect coffee, I feel like a ten year old who stole a sip of coffee from his parents' mug.

So I surmise, my frontal lobe has detected coffee as something good and must override the fact that I don't like the taste or something like that. But to do so it must anticipate coffee. Anyone willing to experiment with that to figure out if that's normal or if I am just weird?

Somebody put milk in the tea kettle.

To be entirely fair, I'm sure nobody from here has ever seen a kettle, let alone used one.

It’s simple.
coffee —> code
tea —> good code
hot chocolate —> great code !

Stop calling people by their old occupation titles. .
Please address them by using their new titles accordingly
and they will like it their job more.

OLD: *Garden Boy*
NEW: *Landscape Executive and Animal Nutritionist*

OLD: *Petrol attendant*
NEW: *Fuel transmission engineer*

OLD: *Receptionist*
NEW: *Front Desk Controller*

OLD: *Typist*
NEW: *Printed Document Handler*

OLD: *Messenger*
NEW: *Business Communication Conveyer*

OLD: *Window Cleaner*
NEW: *Transparent Wall Technician*

OLD: *Temporary Teacher*
NEW: *Associate Teacher*

OLD: *Tea Boy*
NEW: *Refreshment Director*

OLD: *Garbage Collector*
NEW: *Environmental Sanitation Technician*

OLD: *Guard*
NEW: *Security Enforcement Director*

OLD: *Prostitute*
NEW: *Practical Sexual Relations Officer*

OLD: *Thief*
NEW: *Wealth Relocation Officer*

OLD: *Driver*
NEW: *Automobile Propulsion Specialist*

OLD: *Maid*
NEW: *Domestics Managing Director*

OLD: *Cook*
NEW: *Food Chemist*

OLD: *Gossip*
NEW: *Oral Research and Evaluation Director*

Which one got you more?

When i started uni almost 2 years ago i made a bet with myself to finish the first year without drinking even one single cup of coffee.

Right now i have realized that i almost finished my second and i drank 5-6 cups in all my life.

Putting mobile phone to DnD.

Putting on Bluetooth headsets with ANC, blasting some good shit music.

Violently cooking or desperately ordering food at the good restaurants.

While waiting, grinding some coffee beans, making fresh coffee or some nice tea with milk.

Laying on the sofa in a food induced coma, turning on any streaming service with the real bad shitty movies.

Hentai Kamen, The Machine Girl, ...

Anything thats either pure groteske bullshit or that doesn't require more than a braincell cause it appeals either to the violent or complete nonsense side of my brain.

Last but not least, a few cold beers.

ANC headset stays on, just switching from music to tv - shutting out all the outside noise.

Frienship with coffe ended!
Now Mate tea is my source of caffeine!

wish can do coding in fix hours :(

Learning react .. just took one cup of tea in morning.. and dang its 8pm :( No idea about the time.. react giving me hard time. maybe am newbie ..

Hope so I learn this Single Page application

Today after longer vacation I came back to work.

Edit: wrote this rant long time ago, but never finished. Was too pissed.

Some easy meetings, then wanted to start on an easy job.

Just migrating some things from bash regex voodoo to proper tools like JQ.

Finished in roughly 1 h. Lovely.
Made some tea, ate some cookies.

Set up dev environment, found no documentation what so ever, got it running after half an hour.

Annoying, but ok.

Then I tried my scripts...

They worked... Except they didn't.
Console log empty, response code 200 with state: GENERATE_NO_FILES.

Eh. Fuck you. Just fuck you.

Fixed the logging configuration, which was broken since uhm... 2 years plus?

Well... Another half another hour gone...
Kinda pissed now.

Still script return failed...
Poking and trying to sprinkle debug all over that shit cause everything seems ... An incohesive, inconsistent diarrhea.

3 hours later...

Made the ticket to rewrite it.

I did nothing wrong at all.

The API just has no workflow at all. The
*seperate* API calls have to be in an **specific** order - as otherwise the generation will fail, as the prerequisites for the generation are not fulfilled.

Yeah. Completely logical. Especially not to give out any kind of warning or an error message like requirements not met, blablabla.

I drank that evening 2 six packs of beer. I was raging mad....

Then gave that shit to another manager, as I never want to touch that nuclear waste again....

How can someone be so brain damaged -.-

*laughing maniacally*

Okidoky you lil fucker where you've been hiding...

*streaming tcpdump via SSH to other box, feeding tshark with input filters*

Finally finding a request with an ominous dissector warning about headers...

Not finding anything with silversearcher / ag in the project...

*getting even more pissed causr I've been looking for lil fucker since 2 days*

*generating possible splits of the header name, piping to silversearcher*

*I/O looks like clusterfuck*

Common, it are just dozen gigabytes of text, don't choke just because you have to suck on all the sucking projects this company owns... Don't drown now, lil bukkake princess.

*half an hour later*

Oh... Interesting. Bukkake princess survived and even spilled the tea.

Someone was trying to be overly "eager" to avoid magic numbers...

They concatenated a header name out of several const vars which stem from a static class with like... 300? 400? vars of which I can make no fucking sense at all.

Class literally looks like the most braindamaged thing one could imagine.

And yes... Coming back to the network error I'm debugging since 2 days as it is occuring at erratic intervals and noone knew of course why...

One of the devs changed the const value of one of the variables to have UTF 8 characters. For "cleaner meaning".

Sometimes I just want to electrocute people ...

The reason this didn't pop up all the time was because the test system triggered one call with the header - whenever said dev pushed changes...

And yeah. Test failures can be ignored.
Why bother? Just continue meddling in shit.

I'm glad for the dev that I'm in home office... :@

TLDR: Dev changed const value without thinking, ignoring test failures and I had the fun of debunking for 2 days a mysterious HAProxy failure due to HTTP header validation...

My personal top 4:
good tea,
good booze,
time with gf,
time with friends,

Just clears my head, but doing any of my other hobbies can really help because it just gets me in a different headspace

The install will take about one more minute…

*go make a cup of tea, pack for holiday, go on holiday, return from holiday*

Ah still installing for one more minute my old friend…

> npm start
* proceeds to leave the workstation for coffee / tea / slack off
* comes back 15' later
* leaves again
Thanks, Brian.

I tried mate!
I'm not sure if I like it that much!

@darksideofyay got me into mate tea and I just had to try it for some unknown reason.
I didn't get the pot and bombilla because that seemed unnecessarily expensive for a tea I had not tried.

I got the tea leaves, brewed them like green tea and it didn't work at all. The flavour was lacking and it was a letdown.
But I knew I was drinking it wrong. I needed bombilla. But hold on, @darksideofyay was brewing her toasted mate like tea. So I toasted a handful of leaves and brewed it.
And yay! I like that thicc tobacco aroma. The taste profile is better than green tea but nowhere near the black teas. All in all I'm convinced I need to try it with bombilla.

Fun times.

We use Slack at work for IMs.

There are tons of threads created in each DM, group chat, and channels.

There is a purpose to each thread.

But.. BUT.... Engineering team responds to a thread and also sends the same message in channel.

What's the fucking point of the thread...

FUCKING STOP SPAMMING WITH DUPLICATE MESSAGES.

I have a cup of green tea in my hand right now and I feel like pouring it on myself.

Third tier geniuses from Timbuktu.

its hot AF outside.

we are having tea.

because its chilly AF in office bcuz, A/C.

Q: Why do Programmers love coffee?

A: 'cause programming is not their cup of tea :/

My weekend is filled with take home code interviews, pre workout, and no social interaction. I just want to sip mint tea by the Red Sea.

Since at some point we are all going to get old, and maybe get high blood pressure, something to think about before that happens..

Sudden drop in blood pressure, possible reasons why ?

Within 30 minutes my blood pressure dropped from 154 / 84 to 100 / 65, which at least means it is in the middle of normal range..

But I wonder why ?

Two things recently might account for it, the day before yesterday I had three teeth removed, as such I stopped taking any additional non-prescribed vitamins and supplements for 1.5 days.

Then today I changed what I took and I took mostly blood pressure related supplements.

I wonder if one or both of those are the key reasons why the sudden drop ?

Food wise I had pickled beetroot, chicken soup and wholemeal bread.

Supplement wise I took:

Gymnema Sylvestre

And a multi-vitamin with the following in:

Lion’s Mushrooms
Taurine
Spirulina
Guarana Seed Extract
Acetyl-L-Tyrosine
Phenylethylamine
Turmeric Curcumin Extract
DL-Phenylalanine
Bacopa monieri leaf extract
CDP-Choline
Korean Ginseng
Ginkgo Biloba
Phosphatidylserine
Radiola Rosea
Uridine-5-Mono
Alpha GPC
DHA Algae
Alpha Lipoic Acid
Acetyl-L-Carnitine
Theobromine
Acetyl-L-Glutamine
Coenzyme Q10
Creatine
Mucuna Prurines Extract
Green Tea Leaf Extract
Quercetin
Artichoke Leaf Extract
Maritime Pine Bark Extract
Acetyl-L-Theanine
Caffeine
Hordenine
Ashwangdha
BIOPQQ
Acetyl-L-Methionine
Black Papper
Huperzine-A
L-Tryptophan
Oatstraw Extract
Petrostilbene
Inositol
Vitamin C
Vitamin D3
(Pantothenic Acid) Vitamin B5
(Niacin) Vitamin B3
(Riboflavin) Vitamin B2
(Pyridoxine) Vitamin B6
(Thiamine) Vitamin B1
(Biotin) Viamin B7
(Folic Acid) Vitamin B9
Vitamin B12
Magnesium
Zink
Iron

A few hours later . . .

And now it has shot back up. :-(

So what gave me normal blood pressure for 6 hours ?

I tried to repeat the same diet/pills the next day, and the same thing did not happen.

Puzzling..

Anyone know the answer, or have any theories ?

I had a pretty good year! I've gone from being a totally unknown passionate web dev to a respected full stack dev. This will be a bit lengthy rant...
Best:
- Got my first full time employment dev role at a company after being self-taught for 8+ years at the start of the year. Finally got someone to take the risk of hiring someone who's "untested" and only done small and odd jobs professionally. This kickstarted my career, super grateful for that!
- Started my own programming consulting company.
- Gained enough confidence to apply to other jobs, snatched a few consulting jobs, nailed the interviews even though I never practiced any leet code.
- Currently work as a 99% remote dev (only meet up in person during the initialization of some projects.) I never thought working remotely could actually work this well. I am able to stay productive and actually focus on the work instead of living up to the 9-5 standard. If I want to go for a walk to think I can do that, I can be as social and asocial as I want. I like to sleep in and work during the night with a cup of tea in the dark and it's not an issue! I really like the freedom and I feel like I've never been more productive.
- Ended up with very happy customers and now got a steady amount of jobs rolling in and contracts are being extended.
- I learned a lot, specialized in graph databases, no more db modelling hell. Loving it!
- Got a job where I can use my favorite tools and actually create something from scratch which includes a lot of different fields. I am really happy I can use all my skills and learn new things along the way, like data analysis, databricks, hadoop, data ingesting, centralised auth like promerium and centralised logging.
- I also learned how important softskills are, I've learned to understand my clients needs and how to both communicate both as a developer and an entrepeneur.
Worst:
- First job had a manager which just gave me the specifications solo project and didn't check in or meet me for 8 weeks with vague specifications. Turns out the manager was super biased on how to write code and wanted to micromanage every aspect while still being totally absent. They got mad that I had used AJAX for requests as that was a "waste of time".
- I learned the harsh reality of working as a contractor in the US from a foreign country. Worked on an "indefinite" contract, suddenly got a 2 day notification to sum up my work (not related to my performance) after being there for 7+ months.
- I really don't like the current industry standard when it comes to developing websites (I mostly work in node.js), I like working with static websites (with static website generators like what the Svelte.js driver) and use a REST API for dynamic content. When working on the backend there's a library for everything and I've wasted so many hours this year to fix bugs and create workarounds related to dependencies. You need to dive into a rabbit hole for every tool and do something which may work or break something later. I've had so many issues with CICD and deployment to the cloud. There's a library for everything but there's so many that it's impossible to learn about the edge cases of everything. Doesn't help that everything is abstracted away, which works 90% of the time but I use 15 times the time to debug things when a bug appears. I work against a black box which may or may not have an up to date documentation and it's so complex that it will require you to yell incantations from the F#$K
era and sacrifice a goat for it to work properly.
- Learned that a lot of companies call their complex services "microservices". Ah yes, the microservice with 20 endpoints which all do completely unrelated tasks?

Self-isolation takes its toll on people's lives and, naturally, on interviews for our platform . So, a technical interview with a DevOps engineer at Zoom. The candidate started to surprise us already in the first minutes of the meeting. To begin with he apparently decided that the formality was enough at the first stage of the interview and decided to talk to the technical experts in a T-shirt and lying on the couch. That would have been fine, but in the middle of the interview his caring wife came in and insisted that the husband should eat his sandwiches and drink his tea. The candidate tried to remain unperturbed and undistracted, but his short "no", "don't want to", "come on!" didn't take effect. At one point, the applicant's wife escalated the tone of the conversation and threw a sandwich at him, promising to do the same with the tea. The supervisor and I became worried about the candidate and already in the voice of his wife began to persuade him to take a break for an afternoon snack. And such stressful interviews happen, and not at the company's initiative.

What are your coffee/tea drinking habits?
Do you prefer coffee, tea, or other beverages? ☕ 🍵
Do you use a coffee maker/machine or something else?

I'm wondering if I should invest in a coffee machine 🤔

I just googled the "It's not the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop at the bottom" quote and learned it's from Douglas Adams...

I knew it from the Riddick games... That means, Richard B. Riddick once in his life sat down and read "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" or "The long dark five o' clock tea of the Soul".

That left me mind blown...

And for all of you who have no idea what I am talking about: Old people stuff...