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Heard a conversation between my colleague and the boss
Boss: (saw my colleague's messy desk) hey, could you organize your desk? It's not nice to see when clients come in. You know what they say, messy desk represents a messy brain..
Colleague: (glanced over to the boss' empty desk) and what does an empty desk say for the brain?12 -
Current mood:
- Referred to manager as "Mein fuhrer" to a colleague in slack.
- Reading an email from a recruiter.13 -
I used "shutdown -r now" on Linux for like 4 years and my colleague just showed me "reboot" command
22 -
day 1 - colleague buys a mini need pistol
day 2 - other colleague buys a big nerf pistol
day 4 - other colleague buys a f#&$ nerf shotgun
day 7 - I buy a automatic nerf gun
day 8 - huge nerf war with other co-workers
day 9 - nerf weapons banned on the office
yesterday - wait colleague leave the office and shoot him on the face every time
today - everyone walking crouched leaving the office
Please, if you are the someone else's boss, don't ban nerf guns, it's worse..26 -
When my colleague asks for help when debugging, I like to start of with setting a few breakpoints.
5 -
Not a windows hate rant, just a funny encounter at work.
Was configuring KDE on my work pc and got the windows key to work after a little configuration.
Me: YAY I finally got the windows key to launch the application menu bar thingy!!
Colleague 1 (fellow support engineer): WINDOWS?! Thanks for the ear cancer mate 😞
Colleague 2 (fellow support engineer): Hey stop swearing!
Colleague 3 (senior Linux engineer): *grabs nearest waste bin, pulls it open, puts head in and starts to make vomiting noises* *pulls head out: don't do that again 🤢"*
Colleague 4 (senior Linux engineer): *gives me a death stare for about a minute"
Me: *completely losing it* 🤣
I fucking love this place 😊24 -
Management: "We have a Team Building session next week"
Colleague A: "Paintballing"
Colleague B: "Go-Karting"
On the day: "Welcome. Today we will be playing an IT Helpdesk Role Playing Game"
Kill me.6 -
FUCK YOU, STOP FUCKING WITH ME! my stupid fucking colleague has just replaced all the semi colons in my repo with Greek question marks for the 5TH FUCKING TIME THIS MONTH. it wasn't funny to start, it isn't funny now, so take your fucking rat-like grin and hyena laugh and FUCK OFF AND WORK! fuck me28
-
Colleague: "What is a pl file?"
Me: "Oh thats a perl script"
Colleague: "So how do I edit it?"
Me: "Just break out emacs and modify that perl script lol"
Colleague: " *Triggered* did you just assume my text editor preference"
Me:" -_- what year is this ??"25 -
Colleague: OOP is so elegant, isn't it? *Stares at me with a greedy smile*
Me: ?
Colleague: look how classy it gets!
Kms2 -
This actually happened today
Colleague: Hey man I think there's a problem with my computer.
Me: Alright, I'll check it out.
(I go to his desk and find that his screen was turned off)
Colleague: It just suddenly turned off.
Me: (presses a random key on his keyboard)
(Screen lights up)5 -
A guy who doesn't work on our project anymore, but still checks on us regularly just did this:
- reported a bug
- started explaining what's causing the issue
- realised the problem was in a piece of code written by him before
- fixed his own mistake, committed it and created a pull request
We all had a good laugh.6 -
My colleague just committed some code with description "improved some bugs"
...should I be worried? 😂7 -
Colleague (lets call him john) does this sometimes at the moments you least expect it, funny as hell:
random colleague: *walks towards john* hey john, do you have a second?
John: *face turns dead serious/scared* h-h-how do you know my name? 😶
Colleague: hahaha, nice try, I've got this server issu...
John: Who are you? Get away from me 😶
*everyone laughing*
*johns face turns normal again*
John: what's up mate? *biggest goddamn smile ever*6 -
Headphones are in, colleague calls my name, I take them out a little annoyed at the interruption.
Colleague: what did one window say to the other?
Me: you're such a pane you know that?
Colleague: no but fuck! That's better1 -
I told my colleague today that he didn't pass the Turing Test.
He did not understand.
Which proves my point. -
Me: Can you go to that page and see if the issue is fixed?
Colleague: if I go there it breaks things
Me: yes, it should be fixed now, can you please check it to make sure?
Colleague: but if I go there it will break things
Me: Can you just go to the page
Colleague: it broke something
Me: what did it break?
Colleague: I don't know
Me: ...then how do you know it's broken
Colleague: because the gallery doesn't work
Me: WELL THEN THATS WHAT'S FUCKING BROKEN THEN ISN'T IT13 -
Colleague got a few statical electricity (or however you say that) shocks.
After yet another one:
Colleague: seriously, again?
Me: damn, that's quite shocking!
C: *blank stare* bro.... 😐
😄7 -
So today I was working on some PowerShell scripts and I get a question from a colleague
Colleague: So, How's your girlfriend doing ?
Me: "You cannot call a method on a null-valued expression" -ForegroundColour "Red"
*Colleague throws something at me*
Totally worth it! -
!rant
Colleague handed me an orange to eat it, I returned it with a minor improvement. She didn't get it.
4 -
My colleague wanted me to examine a script issue. I open it up, and it took several minutes to comprehend how it worked. Once it finally clicked:
Me: I can’t decide if this is idiotic or genius.
Colleague: Well, YOU wrote it.
Me: Oh… Genius it is, then! -
Colleague: You know something about Java, right?
I: Yes..
(colleague shows some FRONTEND JAVASCRIPT and asks a question about it, FYI i am a BACKEND JAVA dev)
🙄😒2 -
I, (a British developer), just had to explain how American Zip Codes work to my US-based colleague...6
-
The single most productive thing I've done today was teaching my colleague how to send GIFs over Slack...5
-
PM emailed me a document from a customer to distribute it to the right people.
Me (in my head): WTF? You are the PM, that's your fucking job.
But I opened the document and read it. Some blah about requirements we discussed with the customer earlier. And the request to sign it as agreement on the requirements. The customer even put the names of the people at the end, he suspected to be the right ones.
So I send an email back to PM that this is project stuff, not my business. Case closed for me.
Half an our later PM enters my office, telling me he thought I was the right guy for this topic and he didn't know who else could be interested in it.
So I told him that this document is about defining project requirements and that he could have sent it to the people that are mentioned at the end of the document.
Turned out he didn't even opened the document. F...A... Wasted my time instead of doing his job.
Guess next time I'll be reading his documents at as good as he does. -
Old story.
Colleague: "I'm gonna update some tables and stored procedures later"
*phone rings two hours later*
Colleague: "Hi! Just wanted to tell you I accidently dropped all our production databases. Have fun recovering them 😊"
Well shit.8 -
Today a colleague of mine asked me to help with some javascript. So I said sure, it will be done in 5 minutes. Im a fullstack developer with a focus on backend in this project.
So I opened the frontend part and was amazed how shit the javascript file was. Yes you read it right FILE...
One big file with a lot of variables in the window scope.
Because she was in “charge” of the frontenders because she works there a bit longer then me I never checked the frontend code.
I said I wont/cant help unless I see better code. I explained to a trainee what could be done to change it and Im impressed that the trainee did a better job then the employee and quick as well.
Got the whole code in seperate files with each part of the code in seperate scopes within 2 hours.
What Im saying here is that even as student, intern or trainee you can know things better thsn someone with experience, dont be afraid to speak up. Because everyone can learn from eachother.7 -
Some former colleague just blatantly commented out units tests I wrote for his build to pass. What the...7
-
Wrote a python script and debugged in about 3 hours. Script saves a colleague 20 hours per week. #resumeworthy9
-
Young colleague: help me! My pc won't turn on!
Me.goto(colleague.desk)
Y. Colleague: See? I pushed the button and it didn't turn on!
Me: Have you tried push it a second time?
Y. Colleague:... No....
Me.push(start_button)
Pc turning on..6 -
Once my fuckin annoying colleague replaced all console.log to alert in our hybrid app..
And back then my testing logs used to be idiotically profane :|
Needless to say, I faced the fuckin wrath of clients :/
3 -
If you see someone ranting about a colleague who made a semi-major fuckup which was not recognised during dev and stage testing and made it to production where it was discovered three days after deployment just when he went on holiday, well, that colleague was me.3
-
Got an email...
Colleague A (who acts like he supervises me because he's here longer than than I am but he doesn't) : Webpage is broken. Please fix.
(5 minutes later)
Colleague A : Sorry I didn't pull the *other* file you committed (Yeah I know we're still on cvs...)
Another email...
Colleague B (who really is my boss) : Webpage doesn't show all records. Please fix.
(5 minutes later)
Colleague B : Sorry I forgot check page 2.
That's all my development team. Right, development, not designers, or anything.
FML...2 -
if (ENV === “dev”)
{....}
^ An ex-colleague Pushed this to production and asked why the code didn’t work.
WHY BITCH, WHY?3 -
Every 20 minutes, the newcome colleague asks me a question to which he can get an answer by reading the language's tutorial.10
-
My friend told me stories about his colleague who's always against him.
One time, during their management meeting, that colleague suggested that they should have a suggestion box in the office.
So my friend proposed that they use Google forms. He presented how Google forms work and the majority got really impressed(except the colleague).
Naturally the colleague is against him, he said "this is not what I had in mind". He wanted to have an actual box and people write suggestions on paper and drop it in(suggesting the ancient way).
Every meeting, the colleague complains a lot, and my friend provides techy and convenient solutions.7 -
Uptight colleague: "It's Thursday. Why are you wearing jeans?"
Me: "Um... Dress for the job you want?"6 -
My colleague often forgets to lock his computer when he’s away from it. I’ve told him countless times that he should lock it because of company privacy reasons. Yet he forgets. I’ve started to change his IDE font to Comic Sans lately, the team always gets a good laugh when it happens.
But it’s starting to get old, any ideas of what I can do? 😈18 -
Colleagues talking among themselves about gods, form of higher power, etc.
Colleague 1: *to colleague 2* So you believe in superhumans?
Colleague 2: I believe in God.
Colleague 1: *to me* What about you?
Me: Yeah. Superhumans exist. I have to deal with them everyday. Because stupidity levels that high aren't practically possible in normal humans.2 -
I leave to visit a customer and leave my iPhone charger plugged into my computer.
I come back and my colleague has my charger, the converstaion goes as follows.
Me: "Can i have my charger back?, it was plugged into my machine before i left."
Colleague: "Why do you need it?"
Me: "To charge my phone?"
Colleague: "Yeah, but i need to charge mine"
*The cable is plugged into his phone, charging*
Me: "Yeah, but its my cable, that you took"
Colleague: "Just wait until I'm done"
Me: null
What has even happened lol5 -
I am DONE with this woman.
Background: we're a team of 3 developers and I'm the junior in this team and I've been in this shit for a year now. 2 months ago the team leader left for another project and I had to stand in for him in every responsibility against the PM and other teams.
Now I not only had to endure this insecure woman but I was also supposed to work with her! Fast-forward to today, the team leader is back and I thought I could put my headphones on and work peacefully at last.
But no!
I've found out she's sent a faulty code to production - no big deal - and said that over chat (although she's sitting right behind me):
Me: We need to fix this.
Her: What?
Me: *giving some details about the issue*
Her: Your attitude is important when you ask me to do something. Whenever you're writing to me you're typing on your keyboard like you're going to break it on my head.
*me not knowing what to say at this point because we had something stupid like this before*
Me: So you're offended by the sound my keyboard makes? (I have mx brown switches by the way and they're not even loud)
Her: No you're typing too fast when you're writing to me. The sound echoes in the office.
...
Can you fucking believe this shit? I hate people that think they can educate me but have no idea how to rationally respond to situations and take responsibility! I didn't even say anything!
And she's been saying to me she hadn't had a problem with any other people for gazillion years who knows how long and why would she cause a problem now! And thinks I am the problem, fuck YOU!
Since you don't like receiving orders why hadn't you taken the place when the fucking guy went for another project but I had to take all the responsibility? I know why you fucking entitled bitch.
Because you HAD NO IDEA AND YOU STILL DON'T.
So shut the fuck up and do as I say.
Kind regards9 -
You dense motherfuxker. There is a reason why we create a separate feature branch, put our code there, check the CI and THEN merge that to master. The whole reason of merge feature to master is that the CI DOES NOT GET FUCKED UP! You never keep committing your feature changes directly to master. THAT'S HOW YOU FUCK THE CI UP.9
-
So I dropped an FYI via slack to a colleague and they immediately replied!
How dare they! They are on vacation!
Turn off your slack, disable your notification, don't check your mails.
Your work shouldn't have any impact on how you spend your vacation. We will manage.5 -
Me: How can I delete pushed commits from origin?
Colleague: Just do git reset --hard and then git push -f
Me: But this is dangerous
Colleague: Wait, I'll do it myself
Colleague: Done
Me: But nothing happened
Colleague: Fuck. I just removed all changes on my own branch
2 -
today i spent hours doing a 30 seconds task that was neglected for months by a colleague. thanks pal
-
Colleague: Hey! This is not finished!
Me: Did you pull from the repo?
Colleague:
Me:
Colleague: Oh look, it's finished.1 -
!rant
Our colleague is celebrating his 10 years at our company, he's in for a surprise :D
(Spray Chalk)
6 -
Imagine being on vacation and the first notification you see on your phone in the morning is from your colleague on Teams:
"Hey! Are you available for a call despite the vacation?"
Fml and fuck me for being too kind to even spend time answering his questions instead of ghosting him.16 -
At my current project we use SVN, but today I noticed a colleague of mine uses another version of version control as well.
Example:
V1:
console.log('Hello, world!');
V2:
//console.log('Hello, world!');
document.write('Hello, World!');
V3:
//console.log('Hello, world!');
window.alert('Hello, world!');
//document.write('Hello, World!');
Every singletime Ive to remove 40 lines of comments before Im able to follow the code and refactor it.2 -
Colleague: I have an error in my application, can you help me?
Me: Sure
*walks next to him*
Me: So... What is it?
Colleague: Here, it won't run
*launches the application and runs perfectly*
Colleague: Tell me your secret senpai5 -
-Friday
Me: *pushes fix for an issue in app*
-Tuesday, the next week
Colleague: "Hey, dude, fid you fix that issue?"
Me: "Yeah, it's available since Friday morning"
Colleague: *e-mails me screenshot with the issue still present*
Me: "That's odd, let me check that on your machine"
Me: *opens the app on his machine, the issue really is there, starting to freak out that I messed up the repo*
Me: "Why the hell would that not work... wait a sec, lemme check something.."
Me: *checks the app version and discovers that it's from 2 months ago*
Me (turns on colleague): "I guess, you should update it to see the newest functionality"
Me: *goes to the toilet, locks himself up, cries*2 -
That feeling when a coworker screws up totally. doesn't accept it as their fault.
You look at the code and see so much of redundancy and bad practice galore.
You look at it for a while and think you can rewrite it from scratch. But you finally end up saying "fuck this" and feel hopeless because there is not enough time.
Hate that feeling. Hate it. Depresses.2 -
Retarded senior web dev:
shouting 'STOP' to the ones who pointed out his design flaws
cannot accept a js file with more than 100 lines.
nitpicking others not limited to his owm group
eager to try bleeding edge alpha builds packages for large application
left the company before finishing the project he started2 -
Look at that. The very fucking smart colleague spent 40 days implementing a repository pattern (WHEN WE'RE USING AN ACTIVE RECORD ORM), breaking stuff left and right. Does he use that fucking pattern at the very least?
Of course he doesn't. And along the way he's making sure to create conflicts with the stuff he broke (and I'm fixing). By the time I fix the merge conflicts of one commit, he pushed 6 of them.
9 -
Really fed up with my colleague and possibly my job. Am starting to doubt am cut out to be a developer
Am a junior java dev , been working working for this company for about 2 years now. Although they hired me to be a java dev, they pretty much exclusively had me working on JavaScript crap because none of the other more senior devs wanted to do even so much as poke JS with a long stick....
Oh and the salary was crap but i figured since i had barely 3 years of exp i thought i would stick with it for a while
But a few months ago after seeing other opportunities I got fed up and threatened to quit , already started interviewing etc
Got an offer, not exactly what i wanted but better than where i was. Went to quit but they freaked out and started throwing money at me. They matched and exceed the other salary and promised to addressed the issues that made me want to leave. Ie get me to work more on the java side of the project and have me work with someone more senior who could sort of mentor me, i had been working semi solo on the js shit till then...
The problem is that my supposed mentor is selfish prick... he is the sort of guy who comes in real early, basically he goes to early morning prayer then come in at some ungodly hour and fuckoff home around 3pm
He does all his work early morning then spends the rest of the day with his headphones on stealthily watching youtube, amazon, watching cricket, reading about Palestine , how oppressed muslims are or building a website for some mosque.
I asked him to let me sit with him so that I could just learn how this or that part of the sys worked , he agreed then the very next day comes in and does all the work before i get in at 9 , i asked him how he did it and he tells me oh just read the code.
Its not as simple as that, out codebase is an old pile of non standard legacy dog shit. Nothing works as it should, i tried to go through documentation online for the various stuff we use , but invariably get stuck when i try the usual approach because it turns out the original devs had essentially done a lot of custom hacks and cowboy coding to get stuff working, they screwed around with some of the framework jars & edited libraries to get stuff to work, resulting in some really weird OSGI errors.
My point is that i cant really just "read the code" or google ...
I gotta know a bit more what was actually modified and a lot of this knowledge isn't fucking documented, theres a lot of " ohhh that weird bug yeah yeah that happens cuz x did this hack some years ago to fix this issue and we kinda built on it, yeah we weren't supposed to do that but heyyy what u gonna do, just do this or that instead"
I was asked to set up a web service to export something, since thats his area of expertise and he is suppose to be teaching me the ropes, i asked him to explain where i should start and what would the general workflow be, his response is to tell me to just copy the IMPORT service and rename it to export then "just do it um change it or something" very helpful indeed (building enterprise application here nothing complex at all!!)
He sits right next to me so i can see how much works he actually does, i know when he just idly sitting there so thats when i ask him questions, he always has his earphones on so each time i gotta find a way to get his attention with a poke or a wave, he will give a heavy sigh and a weary look as he removes his headphones, listen to my question then give me the shortest answer possible before IMMEDIATELY turning away and putting his headphones on as fast as possible regardless of whether I actually understood or even heard what he said. If i ask another question ( am talking like an immediate follow up question for a clarification or something) he will
Do the whole sigh + tired look routing to make me know yeah you are disturbing me. ( god was so happy the day he accidentally sat on and broke them)
Yesterday i caught a glance at his screen as i was sitting down and i think he and another dev were talking about me
That am slow with my work and take forever to get into gear.
Starting to have doubts about my own ability n wether am really cut out to be a developer. I know i can work hard but its impossible to do so when you have no clue where to start and unable to look it up since all the custom hacks doesn't really allow any frame of reference.
Feels like am being handicapped and mocked, yesterday i just picked up my gear n left the office.
I never talk ill about my colleagues, whenever i have a 121 with my mgr i always all is fine, x n y are really helpful etc
I tried to indirectly tell my other colleague about this guy, he told me that guy had kinda mentally checked out of this job and was just going through on auto pilot and just laughed it off (they have been working together for almost a decade and a buddies) my other colleague is pretty nice but he usually swamped with work so i feel bad to trouble him.
Am really Fed up with it all7 -
Coleague: "Hey! get back to work, stop drawing weeb shit"
(pictured below)
Me: "Heroku's building"
Colleague: "oh, carry on"
3 -
If your colleague is irritating you too much and you want to take a revenge.
Then just type chmod 777 -R /
in the terminal and press enter.
See what happens later.
8 -
Le me: writes some handy dandy software for my company
Le my colleague: goes to customer site to do some set up, wants to show customers how do some commands on my tool
Le my colleague: proceeds to open the massive manual I also wrote detailing how to use the tool, closes it immediately saying it's boring
Le my colleague: proceeds to use a very basic command incorrectly, declares it a non-working feature
Le me: ??? *head desk*
MOTHERFUCKER THERE IS EVEN A 'HELP' COMMAND THAT EXPLAINS TO YOU THE SYNTAX IN THE TOOL ITSELF.2 -
Had to integrate legacy code into the new framework.
Me: Where does the virtual sensor come from?
Colleague: It's in the docs.
Me: That step is not in the docs.
Colleague: It is, look into the file $FILE.
Me: Yeah, it's empty :D
Colleague: Nope, it's not.
Me: See, empty (pointing to laptop screen)
Colleague: Why is it empty? (keyboard typing...) Damnit, too many git remotes in my repo :D -
> See unintelligible error from stuff that used to work and now it doesn't
> Ask colleagues if they ever met the error
> Fucktard colleague says "try using the debugger, if you run the code line by line you may probably understand what's wrong"
Dear Fucktard, I've been writing code for 7 years now, you can safely assume I know how to use a debugger if need be.
The thing: when I ask "have you ever met this error" I'm asking if you actually know what's going on, BEFORE diving in a 3 hours long debugging session of code written 6 years ago by people who have left the company in the meantime.
You don't always have to say something. Sometimes it happens: you may not have anything clever to add, and a simple "I'm sorry I don't know" is perfectly fine.1 -
My colleague does not use git (well, not for much), hates all external frameworks, and when he sees my code he tells me "that's not how I would have done this", every single goddamn time. Aaand we are the only two developers in our company.4
-
It's rant time again. I was working on a project which exports data to a zipped csv and uploads it to s3. I asked colleagues to review it, I guess that was a mistake.
Well, two of my lesser known colleague reviewed it and one of the complaints they had is that it wasn't typescript. Well yes good thing you have EYES, i'm not comfortable with typescript yet so I made it in nodejs (which is absolutely fine)
The other guy said that I could stream to the zip file and which I didn't know was possible so I said that's impossible right? (I didn't know some zip algorithms work on streams). And he kept brushing over it and taking about why I should use streams and why. I obviously have used streams before and if had read my code he could see that my code streamed everything to the filesystem and afterwards to s3. He continued to behave like I was a literall child who just used nodejs for 2 seconds. (I'm probably half his age so fair enough). He also assumed that my code would store everything in memory which also isn't true if he had read my code...
Never got an answer out of him and had to google myself and research how zlib works while he was sending me obvious examples how streams work. Which annoyed me because I asked him a very simple question.
Now the worst part, we had a dev meeting and both colleagues started talking about how they want that solutions are checked and talked about beforehand while talking about my project as if it was a failure. But it literally wasn't lol, i use streams for everything except the zipping part myself because I didn't know that was possible.
I was super motivated for this project but fuck this shit, I'm not sure why it annoys me so much. I wanted good feedback not people assuming because I'm young I can't fucking read documentation and also hate that they brought it up specifically pointing to my project, could be a general thing. Fuck me.3 -
Me: "why are you doing this with PowerPoint?"
colleague: "because i'm going to print it"
I left the room
-
So it's been a while since I've posted as my first few months at the new job have been amazing. But now I'm running into issues with a team member that I need to get off my chest.
So my new job is front end development in React. I'm brand new to it but I was promised time to learn on the job. On my first day the team member I'm now having a conflict with offered me help. He's the most experienced so I gladly took it.
But now several months in I've noticed his teaching style doesn't work for me. He'll go into long theoretical explanations whenever I ask a question and I get overwhelmed with info. And he gets frustrated with my inability to process all that, because he feels I waste his time. So frustrated that at one time he just walked out of work and drove home, which was really upsetting to everyone.
My direct manager and my mentor in the company (our software architect), as well as our scrum master (a consultant) are all aware of the conflict. I've been assigned another colleague to help me out. Things were going ok but he got sick so I had to turn back to the team member with the conflict for assistance. Of course frustrations arose again.
Now yesterday during our sprint planning meeting we had to say what we liked and didn't like about the past sprint. And I brought up I feel I need time for learning and that I don't know where to put that, since we don't have a task for it. I said I also felt past approaches weren't working out and that I'd like to take up the offer to go on training. I was trying to word it very neutral to not upset my colleagues, as they tried their best. But the colleague who I had previous conflicts with took it personal and accused me of not listening and that is why my code is awful. While all I've been doing is rely on his code to learn. Long story short it got very heated and direct manager and scrum master who were present had to shut it down.
I'm thinking of talking to my manager and mentor today. It really hurts when you're accused of maliciousness when all you did was try. I know my code isn't perfect. But I get no help in improving it beyond long winded explanations about theory. If I ask for practical help he says he won't write my code for me. Which isn't what I expect. When I say I followed his example he says I shouldn't copy. But two sentences later he says if I don't know what I am doing I should listen to him. It's really very confused and demotivating as a beginner, but he makes it about how I waste his time and ruin his job for him. I understand he tries his best and that it has to be hard when someone seemingly is as dumb as a bag of bricks. But my manager and mentor told me they support me as long as I continue to show improvement. So I asked for alternatives (training, time to study, or whatever I haven't thought of) and now I feel like the bad person. I'm already someone with crippling low self esteem, and I'm thrown into the deep end. It kinda sucks when someone then tells you from the sideline you can't swim and how swimming works. How about tossing me one of those floaty things and then maybe accept I need to hold on to that for a bit and my technique will need work until I can make it on my own? :(2 -
Colleague: Ivy, I have a problem with blah blah.
(Meanwhile we are in two different places)
Me: I'm not sure I understand your problem. Just Google it.
Colleague: I don't want to.
Me: Okay bye.
Question: Are Developers who use Google impostors?9 -
When your colleague comments out some of your codes just to reverse engineer how it works. And checked it in!!!
1 -
Colleague: Let's see the luna(r) eclipse.
Me: But that was a while ago.
Colleague: No it is today. Let's go out and see.
Me: Out.!! But how could you run eclipse there?
Colleague: What??
Me: What..?? Oh...!!
*awkward silence*
All the while I was thinking why would a node dev require eclipse, when he could perfectly work with something like vscode. Feels so stupid. -
colleague : Hey I resolved yesterday's error.
me : really? how?
colleague : found it on stackoverflow.
me : Oh. From the question or the answer?
burrrrn!!! -
Can't believe a fellow coder, went and undid the changes I had made in the previous commit! The commit he made is totally unrelated to my changes! Admitted, that he wrote the original code. But, he was not doing a check while adding two columns whether they already existed. That means he'll get an SQL error with the latest version, and has to manually deleted the columns. Again! Why are people so territorial about their code??4
-
TL;DR:
JuniorDev ignores every advice, writes bad code and complains about other people not working because he does not see their result because he looks at the wrong places.
Okay, so I am really fed up right now.
We have this Junior Dev, who is now with us for circa 8 months, so ca. a year less than me. Our first job for both of us.
He is mostly doing stuff nobody in the team cares about because he is doing his own projects.
But now there's a project where we need to work with him. He got a small part and did implement that. Then parts of the main project got changed and he included stuff which was not there anymore. It was like this for weeks until someone needed to tell him to fix it.
His code is a huge mess (confirmed by senior dev and all the other people working at the project).
Another colleague and me mostly did (mostly) pair programming the past 1-2 weeks because we were fixing and improving (adding functionality) libraries which we are going to use in the project. Furthermore we discussed the overall structure and each of us built some proof-of-concept applications to check if some techniques would work like we planned it.
So in short: We did a lot of preparation to have the project cleaner and faster done in the next few weeks/months and to have our code base updated for the future. Plus there were a few things about technical problems which we need to solve which was already done in that time.
Side note: All of this was done not in the repository of the main project but of side projects, test projects and libraries.
Now it seems that this idiot complained at another coworker (in our team but another project) that we were sitting there for 2 weeks, just talking and that we made no progress in the project as we did not really commit much to the repository.
Side note: My colleague and me are talking in another language when working together and nobody else joins, as we have the same mother tongue, but we switch to the team language as soon as somebody joins, so that other colleague did not even know what we were talking about the whole day.
So, we are nearly the same level experience wise (the other colleague I work with has just one year more professional experience than me) and his work is confirmed to be a mess, ugly and totally bad structured, also not documented. Whereas our code is, at least most of it, there is always space for improvement, clean, readable and re-useable (confirmed by senior and other team members as well).
And this idiot who could implement his (far smaller part) so fast because he does not care about structure or any style convention, pattern or anything complains about us not doing our work.
I just hope, that after this project, I don't have to work with him again soon.
He is also one of those people who think that they know everything because he studied computer science (as everybody in the team, by the way). So he listens to nothing anybody explains to him, not even the senior. You have to explain everything multiple times (which is fine in general) and at some points he just says that he understood, although you can clearly see that he didn't really understand but just wants to go on coding his stuff.
So you explain him stuff and also explain why something does not work or is not a good thing, he just says "yes, okay", changes something completely different and moves on like he used to.
How do you cope with something like this?6 -
Rant!
A colleague bought a mechanical keyboard to the office today.
Pro: if you miss a deadline you can blame that colleague.
Con: schizophrenia.7 -
colleague 1 : hii,we need to talk.
Me: okay,what?
colleague 1 : we have issues with you.
Me : post on GitHub bro..!2 -
Real story :
There's this one colleague, who was a very good friend of mine. Always helped me in everything. That one friend in the team, who shares a lot of stuff with you.
And she suddenly, turns offensive when it comes to professional things and mainly competitive stuff in the team.
She becomes a completely different person when I get recognition for something in the team or when I become popular in the team.
She has that feeling that she should always stay in the lime light.
When I steal the show by doing something good, she starts to show faces.
Decided that it is a unhealthy friendship, as the friend i knew is no longer a friend when it comes into professional behavior at work,
And it started reflecting a lot in our personal friendship, outside work too.
Decided to cut the friendship and only be colleagues.
Did the same happen to someone else? Did you lose a friend because of things like this?4 -
2 colleagues just had a meeting with the CEO and the meeting just ended:
Colleague 1: "I'm gonna jump out of the window"
Colleague 2: "Make sure to land on your head"
Must have been a very productive meeting.3 -
Completely drunk...coming from a farewell Party of a good colleague...sad to see good people leaving3
-
My colleague can be so fucking annoying I’m close to snapping. It’s morning, I just got it, didn’t have any coffee yet and he asks me “what did you do while I was gone?” (He was away sick a few days). So I start explaining to him the code changes we did and he takes it as an opportunity to interrupt me and ask more questions during my explanation. Mostly because he thinks it’s amusing. I continue explaining not giving in to his shit and he continues interrupting me and tries to make other team members laugh at his stupid face. No one does. I finally tell him to shut up and listen and he does.
It’s like having a kid run around, focusing on every sound other than what is important and trying to be funny when all that’s happening is everyone thinking he’s and asshole that should shut the fuck up. ARGH!!! So annoying.6 -
My newly joined developer colleague had some problem starting the web app we are working on locally. After changing some configuration files,
Me: Restart the app
My Dev Colleague: Do I have to close it?
Me: Yeah, there will be a red cross on the right top corner, just click on that😑😒2 -
Colleague: I cant install windows on our playcomputer. you broke it.
<Me walks to the computer, he looks away>
<silently deletes the debian entry in the nvram>
<installs windows, without an problems>
Me: So, where is the Problem?
Colleague<slightly angry>: I made it exact like you!
Me: o_O1 -
application runs fine..
colleague makes a small code change..
application crashes..
colleague asks in wonder why the application crashes all of a sudden
did you debug? no
can you debug? ok .. .... ... .. ah it's that change I just did2 -
You know your build process is slow when your colleague compares it to buying groceries in "communist Romania".3
-
Non techie colleague: ... Yeah she really likes sending gifs
Me: is it 'gif' or 'jif'
Non techie: "I don't know 'gif' - 'jif', no 'jif just sounds weird"
Me: ah but the creator called them 'jifs'
TECHIE colleague: yeah well he's just wrong!7 -
Showed a colleague how < uparrow > is used in bash. That poor guy....
typing everything again must be so hard2 -
(3 days on the project)
Colleague: Ah I finally improved something in this sorry excuse for an app these interns built.
Thought I broke it there for a minute, but the homescreen is back to showing 180 entries.
Me: Current released app only shows 1 entry.
Colleague: FFFFUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!!!! -
There is a colleague of mine who is loud, arrogant and thinks he knows it all. Except when I worked closely with him turned out he doesn't know shit. And he has been in the industry for over a decade! Why the fuck was he hired, I don't know..
-
def sayHiToColleagues():
for colleague in colleagues:
if colleague.roomNr > me.roomNr:
break
sayHi(colleague.name)6 -
Alrighty, saturday morning rant time!
I just recieved a mail from one of my not-so-much-loved colleagues.
Now Background first: I work in IT-Support. We provide services for other companies. One of those services is monitoring servers and clients for various things. I recently took over the project (was assigned to do it) and restructured everything, wrote new scripts to test more stuff, successfully tested it internally and rolled it out over the last 2 weeks.
Now one of these scripts hooks into the Windows Update API and looks at the update history. It filters for known Windows Update Agent strings (UpdateOrchestrator, AutomaticUpdates and AutomaticUpdatesWuApp in case you also want to do something like this) and then looks for installation errors over the last 24 hours and wherever there have even been any successful updates over the last one and a half months.
Back to that mail.
My colleague sent me this lovely mail about a ticket i opened about his customers servers beeing all out-of-date on updates.
"This is all wrong, everything's fine. I disabled the checks."
...
It's on bitch.
So i logged on to my work PC via TeamViewer, opened my script, connected to the customer and was ready to debug the shit out of my script, knowing i probably won't even need to.
I looked at the update history via Windows Update itself and behold: 1st April. That's almost 50 days in the past.
So the script works, go figure.
Great, so search for new Updates then.
>None found.
Hm. What could it be? Did my super special colleague forget to care about his very special totally-needs-WSUS-customer WSUS again?
Yup.
Online-Search finds a ton of new Updates.
Screenshot, write pissed mail to colleague, re-enable checks, breakfast.1 -
1 Week ago I took down the development version of an internal demo, leaving only the prod one (temporary space issue). Colleagues were told n+15 times via email, face to face, comments on tickets etc. The prod one has also been live for weeks, and again, they were told when it went up.
This just happened:
Colleague 1: practiseSafeHex can you help me, the demo doesn't seem to be working.
Me: *logs in*, *click around* ... seems fine dude. Are you using the correct URL: <prod-url>.
Colleague 1: let me try again and see.
Colleague 2: practiseSafeHex i'm with Colleague 1, were trying to use the demo, and its not working. Can you have a look, we need it.
Me: I just told him, its fine, I think you have the wrong URL <prod-url>. Can you try again.
Colleague 2: No I have the right one, can you check it.
Me: *does nothing*, yep i've had a look at it, can you try again: <prod-url>.
Colleague 2: Ah its back now, cheers.
They are with a customer now, so I won't say anything, when they get back, one of them is being castrated. -
Was going through tech training and using tight VNC to access remote machine. A colleague was also accessing the same machine.
When instructor walked around to view my progress, my colleague closed my tab and opened sites like 'church of satan' and porn sites.
😐 -
A colleague is walking me trough some of the source code because we try to fix an issue.
colleague: Oh we don't use this anymore
Me: ...
LATER
colleague: This part we should refactor someday
Me: ...
LATER
colleague: Oh I think this is old code and does not exist anymore.
Me: .. .. ...
Great Colleague BTW :)
PS: fix will be posted Later.3 -
I've been working for 6 months now, and the boss tells me he's not satisfied with my work compared to someone that has 15+ years experience. He clearly states that for him - it's more important lines of code, than planning and defining the architecture which he don't like because that doesn't provide anything...
Of course, I can just jump into the code if that is whats important. I've seen the code produced by the other guy, and its shit.
The guy is a talker, and knows how to talk. I'm more like, hey lets create a simple design prototype or do some UML diagrams to get a better visualization of what we need.
Anyway, its just annoying to be compared to someone with many years of experience, its not that I can achieve it overnight...11 -
5 months ago we are using string for identifying some stuff:
var abc = "badstuff/abc"
var isBad = abc.indexOf("badstuff")>-1
// fine
we later switched to id, so
var abc = 13;
var isBad = abc.indexOf("badstuff") > -1;
// well this is wrong
so I approached the colleague and said to her that we use id now, indexOf("badstuff") no longer works, and id can be arbitrary, like 3245.
-- ok ill do it.
I dont know 3245 looks really like a special id or not. this is the outcome:
var abc = 13;
var isBad = abc.indexOf(3245) > -1;
lol.1 -
!rant
You know SO is the best source of info when you google a question, find a thread, find the answer that solves your problem perfectly, see that the person who answered is your next table colleague5 -
Worked on website that has Twitter Bootstrap, including the fancy grid classes. Colleague adds new class with the brilliant name 'paddington-bear'. Class only had padding: 0 13px;.
Really had a good laugh about it. Other colleague went furious on Paddington colleague couldn't appreciate it at all. Had myself another good laugh while the colleagues were bickering.3 -
All software sucks, I overheard a colleague say. I used to be proud of what I wrote, but after 20 years I realize that I am never going to write perfect code. It may be good enough, but if that's all, than my colleague may be right. What a relief :)2
-
Worked on project that has multiple forms. After deployment colleague asks me if I made the Chrome in-build autofill form function. He really liked and loved the option. Colleague calls himself front-end developer. True story!1
-
Imagine a time when a colleague contributes a shitty spaghetti of non-optimized code that neither use mnemonic variables nor conventional naming of functions, and you can imagine the dark hours of maintaining it and your fingers itch to fix it but you don't have the time and the responsibility too to do it. He doesn't listen to you and you feel bad to tell this to the boss as the colleague is also a friend you've known since college and is a good person otherwise. No options seems to give peace.6
-
Colleague asks for help setting up deployment job. Tells me he has tried everything. Has no less than 5 typos.
-
The moment you realize that your dev colleague has just totally given up on the project (and you get why)...
-
<rant>
When you are asked to implement a fix for a colleague and do so.
Then a half day later you see another colleague change in the git repo, that's using more lines and is harder to read but basically does the same as your version
</rant> -
I have this colleague that who is nice, but if you mention anything about (not complete) java, sun, vmware, windows, daus(dumbest possible user), car manufacturer your ears bleed with is rants about it.
For example:
We talked about BMW which published that the energy generated from recuperation of one of their cars is around 60%. Immediatly he rants that it its not possible and the calculated number of an forum user of the newssite who calculated that 90% of the kinetic energy is regenerated has no idea about the problems.
Sometimes its hard to endure the hate, but i can relate with him in some things.2 -
Don't you have a colleague in office, you want to shout "SHUT UP",
even though they aren't speaking.3 -
!RANT
We all have that one colleague who asks for help with his code and when you try and talk about it, he acts like he's got everything figured out.
These guys are so frustrating,if you know it already why'd you call me in the middle of the night to fix an important bug.1 -
My dumbass colleague thinks the best idea to a Restful API backend is to store some kind of session based on the token.
It'd be great if that remained as an idea instead of this 11 month-old system he built before I got in.
MOTHERFUCKER.
Yes, it does mean that if the server boots for whatever reason, everyone has to login again to get a valid token LOL6 -
Ex-colleague asked for help in regards to an old project we were working at my old job
Him:"We're experiencing an internal server error. What do we do?"
Me:"Restart tomcat, dude"
Him:"How?"
Then I explained how by finding tomcat in ps -ef in a Redhat server, because he's a Linux noob and needed a lesson in how services works. Proceeded to explain how to restart tomcat with an online guide available.
Him:"Couldn't find tomcat in any of the servers"
Me:"Are you sure? Send me screenshots"
Him: sent screenshots
Me:"it's there. Look carefully."
Him: finds it and proceeded to restart tomcat.
Him: "Can't restart. Some catalina.sh is stopping it."
Me:"Figure it out. You can do it".
Half a day passed...
Him:"I give up. If I restart the server, will tomcat also restart?"
Me:"Up to you man. It will work but it's bad practice."
He restarted the server vand now everything is honky dory. I feel sorry for him though.2 -
Ive got this colleague who knows so much about cloud services, networking etcetera, but 90% of the code he writes I have to rewrite in a way.
So many typos that classnames become unreadable and not understandable.
Small pieces of code that breaks so many other pieces of code.
And code which isnnt needed because it doesnt do shite. "o = (o==null?null: o)" (this is the exact thing he wrote (spacing included))
Sometimes it takes me 6 hours to find the source of an issue because he changed something. Everything I change I confront him about because they are things that can be avoided by rereading the code written.
Fucking doesnt wanna learn....4 -
Had to fix all bugs of my colleague this night because our client was not happy.
Before he joined us he worked as a database admin and now he wants to learn web dev and coding. But he did so bad mistakes like endless loops or requesting api 5 times.
In so tired now, happy when its christmas -
The workday today was shit but my colleague just randomly dropped off some ice cream (:
God bless you Martin2 -
// Hairy ass complex logic
if(1 == 2) { ... }
If only the programming language had a built-in syntax for commenting out code, you fucking cumdumpster idiot.1 -
Helped a colleague today with finding the reason why everything was lowercase after a release. Turns out another colleague made a SQL upgrade script two months ago the did REPLACE(lower(value)... Found it in 10 minutes, saved a lot of time on debugging and still got scolded for working to long on another ticket...
-
There is always a headphone and music to escape from annoying colleague's
<Rant />
Just fucking drop dead, you are a fucking piece of shit. You say what you think and you only have comments on my work!!1 -
Colleague just factory reset the firewall....
- "I have just changed a firewall rule"
Motherfucker!!!!! Burn, burn in hell! -
Colleague from technical department asks if I can make Turkish language available in our software.
I say "Sure, but I need Turkish translations first."
Colleague then asks me if I can implement Russian version as English instead, but using Russian.
"Uhm, what?! I mean ... what?!"3 -
Yay, I won my bet against a colleague to see what developer (colleague) would be fired first.
Easiest €10 of my life5 -
Colleague: The user said this [Total line] is not the average she expected.
Me: Okay? But she knows that averages are weighted?
Colleague: I'm gonna call her.
... 30 minutes fast forward
Colleague: Okay she wants an average, but she wants us to divide it by something else.
Me: Okay? But she knows an average is the sum of one thing divided by the sum of another thing and not just anything?
Colleague: Yeah, she said she wants it to be kinda this in relation to that.
Me: Okay, so rather some percentage value?
Colleague: To be honest, she just wanted to reproduce this old Excel formula.
God has left this planet ... and I admire my colleague for not completely freaking out in the face of the user.3 -
I work in a company and they asked me to develop the official website, jointly a colleague. The boss gave us an horrible background, he says that he likes it. My collegaus designed a hideous navbar, so I drew a new navbar (still horrible but better) and I sent it to him. He said that his one is perfect and we don't have enough time to implement the mine. And in all this I'm (maybe) a webmaster, not a graphic designer. In the attached pic, my navbar is the below one
1 -
Guys,
I'm in kind of crappy situation. We are in dire needs of some improvements to our infrastructure. I've told that to the person who is responsible for it several times to get it improved. But because of his incompetency or laziness he just do some hacky solutions which gonna blow up on the the very next day and makes things worse.
I've raised my concern to my supervisor several times. He is also kinda slow in pushing things.
These infrastructure changes are for testing purposes so it doesn't have an immediate impact on their business. But it is kinda productivity killer for all.6 -
Suddenly you got demotivated when you came to know your level colleague have higher salary then your...4
-
To my colleague on the desk beside: Please don't code Javascript so close to me. Keep some safe distance. XD5
-
I was feeling particularly mischievous today so I wrote a really helpful script for a colleague... In Perl1
-
I hate this stupid git, said by my colleague who really don't understand how to use it properly.
They always fuck up merges, forgets to commit and loose changes and fails terribly in resolving conflicts.
Yeah! Git is not stupid my dear. It is you who is stupid.6 -
Today in the office: colleague no.1 picks up the phone. We hear a doctor telling him that she does not work tommorow. I say: gynecologist? And my colleague no.2 replies instantly: A vet is more probable 😂 You know why? Cuz he is a beast!2
-
So today I was having this discussion with my colleague regarding a messed up pull request.
Me: are you done merging the remaining branches into master?
Colleague: no, I'm still merging the changes manually.
Me: but why?
Colleague: because the changes will overwrite the changes in master.
Me: but how? It will just conflict and you can keep whichever changes YOU WANT. You can even edit before committing the merge.
Colleague: I'm just redoing the changes manually anyway.
Me: -_- -
So.... my colleague just used `var` for assigning every variable in Flutter.
What a wonderful day....1 -
Dumbf*** network guy in my company doesn't know that customer portal has database and you run queries to get the data.
So pissed off that anyone can do fing CCNA and qualify to work in IT these days
Also stupid company for having a web based database -
Few months back I got a decent increment as a token of appreciation for my good work.
Yesterday we all received a Special townhall meeting invitation.
We all were wondering what it was about. Now my colleague who sits beside was guessing that it may be about a salary revision and she complained that she didn't get any increment last time.
Inner me: Why the heck company should increment your salary for the shitty work you do.
You are simply incapable of doing what you are supposed to do.
You spend more time talking crap rather than trying to learn and use it to write some non shitty code.
You should be thankful to the company for not firing you.1 -
Colleague: Why doesn't this line of code print something out?
Me: Are you sure this line of code has been executed? Try Adding a break point here.
(add break point and debug...)
Colleague: Oh. WTF?!3 -
A colleague of mine:
God damn, my application is racist.
Me: why?
Answer: It doesn't see enough white. -
Colleague: "Let me just try that on a decent phone".
Hes an Android user.
Me: "Yeah. Try one of these"
1 -
When your colleague saves over your stylesheet wiping out hours of work...
Browser cache came to the rescue but still...5 -
Me: *What* is the process to do X in this environment? The link is not working. (Link available in only application 1)
Senior colleague: Through which application?
Me: *Mentions the full name of application 1*. Application 2 works as well.
SC: Yeah it can be done by application 2 as well.
Me: *waits*
*Okay, TELL ME FUCKING HOW!!! I asked for the process, not about its possibility.* -
My colleague is actually on vacation... But nevertheless he is kind of working from home...
He is forwarding me emails that I think he wants me to answer / take care about just to realize he already did everything...
People constantly come to me with problems they just discussed with him and think that I know about it.
No I don't!
Am I the only person not calling or emailing my colleague? He is on vacation! God damnit...
I hate humans... -
That moment when you are very busy with an important feature busting your brain on a complex algorithm and a colleague cant wait to hold his questions..
Then finally agree to help him debug, and you find the problem within 10 minutes.. -
Debugs part of project with a colleague.
Framework I am using across all projects might be problematic on deployment.
Colleague: "You can just change the framework" - proceeds to head towards project settings.
Me: *twitches* 😳 - "If you change the framework right now I will kill you"
Colleague: seemingly shocked. "...talk properly dude... (jeez)"6 -
Update to my last rant*:
I got to know what my colleague did as he "rewrote" my code:
He just searched some GitHub-Projects and used the good old copy+paste method.
Awesome bro, "rewriting" code until nobody's understanding it is the best method to improve code.
*https://devrant.io/rants/735762/...2 -
Colleague: hoe you like your coffee
Me: make it a Latte Macchiato
Colleague: wait what???
Me: see attached image
4 -
Having to work with my colleagues you doesn't believe on Dino's, satellites and big time believer in the flat earth (even hung up a map of it and stuff..) aaaaand.. him not understand a single proton-sized amount about IT but ignores my advice when he gets issues with his computer...
Ps. And yes, he has smelled alcohol as well, after a talk with the boss nothing has happened..
Pps.. FFS..NO not every thing is fake you stupid excuse of a human being with flattened peanut brain.. this is not the bloody Truman show (although good movie)
Ppps. Forgot the why.. why.. why?! Well.. isn't that the question with this guy.. (╯°□°）╯︵( .o.) -
Colleague says some of my code sucks, says he's gonna rewrite and improve it.
After he finish his work, I look in his new written code:
F*ckload of unused methods and classes,
some usings of deprecated API calls...
god. It's okay, if you want to help and improve code (my code wasn't the best, I admit)... but when you do, do it the fuck right. -
There is always one colleague who is not satisfied with the management and keeps complaining to other than management persons. One of my senior has mastered this ability and it always make my mindset f**ked up.4
-
Deep in my train of thought. This guy came asked in if colleague A is on leave. Colleague A doesn't even work here. Now I just don't know where I was so I came here to rant. Don't you hate this?
-
People that we have to work with man! This one guy I worked with once wrote a base script that had 100ish variables and nothing else that got inherited by another script containing again nothing but more variables that got inherited by another script which you guessed it right has nothing but more variables and this went on for about 6 more scripts. A total of around 600 variables and no functions or anything. The final script had all the classes and functions with yup that's right more variables. That person is the tech lead of a game dev studio now.
-
Biggest disturbance would be a colleague, but even worse if one of those colleagues has a vacuum cleaner 😒3
-
The time when you're in full flow while coding and one of your colleague bug you because they got a problem.
Whole flow is disturbed -_- -
What do you do if you have a superior colleague consistently subtweeting you and caught talking behind your back?6
-
Question: Should I stay in my current role, ask for a pay rise, or find somewhere new?
Situation:
Right now, I'm effectively doing a lead developer role for half the salary of the other member of my team- I'm code reviewing their work (which often has many many errors in it), creating and assigning tickets for both myself and them and engaging in many meetings with senior staff in the company. The other dev in my team has more experience on paper, but the amount of work they are generating is approximately 1/5th of what I produce. I'm really disappointed that when I raised this with my manager & then HR, they have seeming done nothing about the situation. It's really disheartening and it feels as though I'm not really valued.
I don't really have much loyalty to the company, but because I have helped build their internal system from scratch I'd loathe to leave it in the incompetent hands of my colleague (who at present still has a month left of probation).
I can give any further info if you'd like it but I could really do with some advice right now.6 -
My new colleague ia awesome he has 4 year of experience in dev and I'm enjoying his company as fuck.5
-
It was foolish of me to connect with my colleague in social media and now I can not rant there. But sad part is LinkedIn because they will know if I viewed.2
-
My colleague, while debugging a bug:
If (var == 3)
{
printf("colleague name var=%d",var);
//existing piece of code
}
I asked why are you printing the variable value here.
He: "just in case"
He is 3 months more experienced and got promoted last December. Mine is delayed. I met my PM.
PM: You aren't this, You aren't that...
What I heard:
*You aren't licking my boots*1 -
"Can you do the job without this colleague?"
"No! It is system-relevant."
"why?!"
"cause, he is cooking coffee..."1 -
A colleague and I joined a couple of friends for dinner and my colleague was explaining how our company reacted to him showing them another offer he got. Just by thinking I am being too slow at looking for another job (even if it's to negotiate better conditions) my back got so tense is hurting...
-
When a colleague reads the clean code book but the writes code that's exactly the opposite ..... Yeah, hmmmm
-
Colleague who removed a function saying "maybe it would make the layout look better", days later asked me how the function works. 😐
-
Starts a new project in school with a colleague. Write some code, a lot of code, just to find out, that he "optimized" my code and now all of my code looks completly different but does the same thing wiht same performance.
Colleague: The code is now better
My Face: 😫 -
We have a form for order entry, where the colleague have to put the VAT number of the customer, bc the customer might not be encoded in pur db. After a while I checked the inserted record, and saw strange numbers, that resemble customer ID. After pointing out at colleague I receive this answer: "well, few of those have an ID, and I didn't want to look after VAT number. I think it's the same, no?"
... I think I need yoga in my life... -
Fellow developer likes to request changes on pull requests to do major refactors on untouched code or change functionality which is outside the scope of the ticket.
Manager doesn't work on the codebase and doesn't care. This blocks our work and we often have to submit to their demands.
Feels very micromanagy even tho we are all experienced.
Asking for advice and a friend. (mostly a friend)4 -
Colleague didn't properly test a software deliverable...team wasted 2 days integrating the software due to bugs. 😭😭
-
Oracle vs MySQL !
My colleague and I had a long debate on auto increment and sequence :O |Guess who won .. -
I have a colleague which wants all lights in the office to be on, he/she says that he/she doesn't see colors in monitor clearly with 1/3 of the light.15
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Every last 2 hours of the workday my colleague who has plenty of sleep, his headphones on and a very comfortable life, yawns and sighs really loudly and it pisses me off.
It's as if his lack of interest transpires in his breathing.2
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