Friend : lets use github to collab
Me an intellect : Lets use pigeons

For all the pentesters who use python, its just too slow ;-;

I searched for a ninja emoji... Turns out turtles are considered ninjas in the emoji world #tmnt

When you're a great, quick to write programming language suited for many computing tasks in general but everyone thinks you're a language for kids and a shit language because you're slow in general.

"Hit it till it works"

My frustrations with the industry

When you open another persons function to see if there’s an obvious way to get better performance out the the query on to close it and walk away for some coffee and wish you never looked.

If I look at this monster any longer I’m going to be forcing myself not to rewrite it from scratch.

Just in case you thought you and your tech job were weird I give you:

Herpetologist: I caught a turtle here in Costa Rica.
Camera man: Cool. What kind is it?
H: this is the white eared red footed mud guppy. See what's interesting is that it has white sides of its face. And red feet. And lives in Costa Rica. In the mud. It is not a guppy though. Guppies are fish.
C: Cool and why is it important?
H: It's a white eared red footed mud guppy.
C: what does it do?
H: It's a turtle.
C: yeah but is it endangered? Venomous?
H: Nope. Just a regular old turtle.
C: so you just ran 50 miles and dove in to a random body of water that probably contained malaria and herpes to catch a regular turtle.
H: well it's not a regular turtle
C:(glares) it isn't?
H: it is. But it's a white eared red footed mud guppy.
C: so why did you catch it?
H: I like turtles.

So look at it this way: you could be the camera man.

Observation

Usually happens when hitting some heavy development after waking up to an idea at 5am and rushing in to the office to make it happen. Then you write for hours straight refilling some coffee once in a while.

At some point you start finding other people at the coffee station and the smalltalk starts. For some reason I can't turn my brain into social mode. Someone asks me stuff like "How was your weekend?" And the answer can be anything between "I like turtles" and some totally uninhibited and unintended truth in the TIM category.

Flow is strong but it totally fucks up my social capabilities. It also makes me happy =D

Sprint planning meeting discussing UI:
Customer: - Wouldn't that confuse the user?
Senior Dev: - Yes but it will take less development time.
Me (junior): ...

Heard over the cubicle wall: "Jquery, every element is a turtle. Turtles all the way down."

What?

I had a pretty good laugh just now.
There's this extension I wrote for our client's online shop which enables them to create template files via the backend. Essentially it's just an editor reading and writing files from/to a directory.

So I installed said extension using a package I found locally, thinking it was the latest release. Unfortunately it was not.

As I said the extension writes template files within it's own directory and back when I had packed up the extension, I must had forgotten to delete these template files resulting from tests and messing around.

Long story short, I just received a ticket about a line of text suddenly showing up below the product page description saying: "I like turtles!"

The ticket itself was very professional though and the client didn't forget to mention that the "notice" was not part of their product feed data. No shit! LOL

So after 7 months of soul crushing searching I was able to land an awesome job I never thought I'd get! I didn't really get hired for my projects, I think I was more of a culture fit that knew enough of what they were talking about. My colleagues are awesome, helpful people but they are also clearly way ahead of me as devs. I know that many new hires have similar feelings and it's more a matter of drive + time. I understand that and I'm ready for the marathon ahead of me but I have one HUGE concern... I don't understand unit testing. I've never written unit tests in JavaScript or Java (just on paper I wrote random assert statements for a college exam question that somehow turned out correct). More importantly, I don't understand when to write unit tests and what my main objectives should be when writing them. At work they talk about unit testing like it's just as basic as understanding version control or design patterns, both of which I have had no problems asking questions about because I at least understood them generally. I come here looking for resources, mainly things I can go through over the weekend. I understand that I'm going to have to ask my colleagues for help at some point but I DON'T want to ask for help without any solid base knowledge on unit testing. I would feel much more comfortable if I could understand the concepts of unit testing generally, and then ask my team members for help on how to best apply that knowledge. I'm sorry for begging, I'll definitely be looking for resources on my own too. But if anyone could point me to resources they found to be helpful & comprehensive, or resources that they'd want their co-workers to use if they were in my position I would be very grateful!!!!

CSS !important ninja turtles 🐢

Lots of good suggestions up in here.

My personal prefference:

Such as there are governing bodies indiciating how a programming language evolves and a web consortium...there should be a computer science one. That dictates fundamental approaches covering everything that belongs to this wonderful branch of science. Everything from math to differenr scientific branches all the way down to turtles. And for it to be standarized and updated. Indeed, if you want to spend your entire existence gobbling js in the form of web sites then that is fine, but you should have sufficient knowledge to branch out into more academic pursuits if required.

Also, updated tools would be better, every aspiring computer scientist shall be able to navigate through all major operating systems and programming environments regardless of their beliefs and or prefferences and schools should provide said environments in their classrooms.

Data Strucrutes and Algorithms should be a must. Software engineering principles should be a must. Calculus, Algebra and Statistics as well as Physica should be a must.
And succesfully navigating over different engineering areas should be a must.

Not to cleanse the industry. Fuck your elitist mentality. If you think that programming is a sacred art that should exclude people then I really hope you fucking disapear from existence. No, not to cleanse. But to expand the industry and maybe show people that there is more than fucking around between node modules or gemsets.

Peace pendejos

**drops your mom's fatass...i mean mic**

I left for a week and someone deployed my code to production after being completely tested by qa on a Friday night. I get into the office after being gone for a week and am told that production has been down for many customers for several days. In a panic I start troubleshooting my code with the "What the fuck did I do wrong" face.

Development and qa were in a frenzy to figure out what happened, several developers were trying to figure out what went wrong by tracing through the source code for days, fucking days!

In that while time Noone thought to roll back the code. So, I was in a bind and thought "might as well get a box". Before that I looked at the deployment instructions: only the dll's were pushed, no db or resource file changes were pushed. In 20 minutes after I got back: no more problems for any customers and everything is working fine.

SMDH.

At least I found this picture of turtles wearing raspberries.

At some point I was watching a sethbling video about programming mining turtles in a Minecraft mod called computer craft, which uses a reimplementation of lua with some mod specific functions. This inspired me to learn lua, then as I got bored with that I started moving through different languages until I settled on primarily kotlin and rust

Double meta.

PATH TOO LONG
FUCK WINDOWS
it has gigs and gigs and asks for more but in the end, it's geological layers of shit on top of each other, turtles all the way down and the last one stands over DOS

In the digital world, rather than turtles, it's syntactic sugar all the way down -- at least until you reach the metal; then it's just a sea of electrons.

A Ninja Turtles Tiger Handheld game!

I'm thinking of getting a laptop for both gaming and video editing. I currently am thinking of getting a laptop with either a 7th gen i5 or 8th gen i5. Is there a huge difference in performance between the two generations? Is the 8th gen i5 core worth the extra money?

My goal this year is to FINALLY dive headfirst into ai. Ant tips or good books?

Real programmers use macs in a coffee shop. Perfect for collab and scrum.
Desktop turtles get over it. You're no longer viable.