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Actually finish a proj.... Oh I'm sorry I got distracted and started a new projec... Oh look a bird...1
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Me: Did Sherry let you know that I'm leaving today?
Coworker: what!? No!
Me: yeah... I'm leaving.
Coworker: huh, I'm not surprised...
Me: what is that supposed to mean!?
Co: shit man, this job sucks, I'm not surprised. I'll be leaving right behind you.
Me: oh.... Um... April Fools... 😬
Co: God damnit.
Me: don't worry, I won't tell the boss how you really feel.4 -
Me, trying to create a LaTeX document: *googles "latex string comparison"*
Customer and boss walk in.
Google: *shows NSFW results*
I.. Let...- Let me explain, it's not what it looks like!14 -
*sigh*
Ssh'd into raspberry pi:
$ sudo ip link set dev wlan0 down
*waits 5 minutes for response*
Oh.. Oh yeah..15 -
That moment when your too busy and concentrated programming and your wife asks you for the credit card and you give it to her .... to later realize she never cam back with that glass of juice and you remember today is black Friday..... ohh shit!! 😲1
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Yesterday's (scheduled and adhoc) meetings:
10:30-11:00
11:00-11:30
12:30-1:30 (adhoc)
1:30-2:30
4:30-5:00
6:00-6:20 (adhoc)
Today's (scheduled) meetings:
9:30-10:00
11:00-12:00
12:30-1:15
1:30-2:30
Tomorrow's meetings include a 1:1 with my boss who will invariably ask why I'm not done on this "should take a week" project that I've had for a week, despite that he just unblocked me on yesterday morning, and I've had nothing but meetings since...
Fucking hell.
They fill my day with shit spaced out just enough to waste practically my entire freaking day so I can't get anything done, conveniently forget this, and then have the audacity to yell at me for not finishing my tickets. Of course I didn't finish! You all were too busy blabbing at me every day for the past fucking week! (Oh, and do they listen if I have something to say? Of course they fucking don't.)
Also, as a secondary rant, the product douchebag files tickets (usually complex as hell tickets worded to appear trivial) with enough missing information to make missing large sections of them easy. If I ask him for clarification, he tells me to read the ticket, and if I insist, he gets all exasperated and quickly zooms through the site faster than I can follow, shows maybe half of what's in the ticket, and asks why I don't know how to do any of this yet. After I finish his shit ticket (and true to his douchebag nature) he blames me for missing several of those pieces he never outlined or showed, and insists that I obviously don't test anything. And because that's clearly not douchey enough, the fucking sack of shit also goes behind my back and trashtalks me to my coworkers, tells them he can't trust me to do a simple fucking thing, and that he's given up on me.
What the FUCK is wrong with these people?28 -
I think my most favorite part of programming is when I just try something out and it actually works despite really just guessing.4
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Just realized there is a 'Reply' button in devRant.
...
...
I always memorized the username, quit the comment window twice to spellcheck..3 -
Watched a show where this girl downloaded "7 Teraflops of data" to her windows 10 surface computer in the period of 10 minutes.
What an Uber leet hacker12 -
So I was studying for a test using a quizlet my social studies teacher made, and I came across this gem. 99% sure my social studies teacher didn't read what it said/understand what it means.
9 -
I need a break.
A break from stress of endless expectations
From school
From work
From being made fun of
From criticism
From criticizing myself
From not being able to do fun things
From vague instructions
From a lack of sleep
from inconsistency.
From unclear objectives
From financial/medical/emotional stress
From life
From hatred
From destruction of my emotional stability
From a lack of confidence
From unfulfilled decisions
From trying to hide under a mask
From jealousy
From lists
From repetitive obliteration of any hope I have
From me crap talking myself
From pleasing people
Oh well, at least after tomorrow, I’m on full-time break...12 -
...
Me: Oh cool, So you do dynamic websites
Him: Yes,
Me: Oh Great, What programming language do you use?
Him: Oh huu, I use Sublime Text...
Sorry, I didn't heard the rest cause I was dead2 -
Temporary coworker with 10+ years experience, working on C++ codebase with me since 3 months, just asked me what the continue-statement in C/C++ does.
That must be either a sign of an upcoming apocalypse, or me being heavily underpaid.6 -
my own program is confusing me :)
it'll be fun waking up tomorrow trying to solve a hard problem…
oh shit i forgot to add comments🙃2 -
Oh Oh !!! Today is the 8 bit register overflow day....Happy 8 bit register overflow day to all 16bit registers..2
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This goddamned sewer-tier, rancid-as-fuck code may as well have been shat, eaten, and re-shat by a slug-fucking muck demon.
So fucking vile.1 -
Ooooh yeah!!!! Thanks dfox and trogus for this new feature of auto scrolling to the comment when I click on the notification panel to see which one was +1'd been waiting it for soooo long 😁😁😁😁😁😁4
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Things that give me chills early in the morning. A password reset email that contains my password in plain text.
Seriously! 🤦♂️
1 -
Oh God, oh fuck!! My bank!! That I don't bank with. It's DIsaBlEd!!!!! OH GOD OH FUcK MY MONEY!!! This is terrible, take my password!!!!! Have it!! I need to RESET THE DAMAGE OH GOD
6 -
Reviewing old code. First thought always starts with "What the hell... What did I do here?"
Best case scenario: " oh.. Oh! I wrote this? Nice."
Worst case scenario: "I hope nobody has seen this... Oh God the header has my name..." -
preface context: I was recently asked to make a website for an event I participated in before
client: okay I heard you can make a website for our event? that’s great!
me (dev): yeah, do you have any requests or expectations for me?
.
client: not really, but I was a developer before and I can code a bit so I’m wondering in what language would you code or develop our website in?
me: oh I would be using JavaScript, specifically nodeJS
.
client: oh really? i’m not really familiar with that language, so is it okay if you code it in a language I understand and used before?
me: sure, what is it?
.
(lol I wonder if you can guess already what it is at this point)
client: HTML
me: ... (*uh oh* html isn’t a markup language *sigh*) :——) -
Let's work on my my side project after work.
Oh, a cold beer
Oh, Netflix
Oh, it's past dinner time.
Fuck2 -
Helping a friend who's a brilliant at mechanics and has his own patents, and got this question when downloading on his 10Mbit line:
"This was supposed to be a fast computer, so why is it taking so long to download?"
To explain the reason was surprisingly hard, considering that this is a guy who's been invited to give a lecture about innovation at a top tech university.1 -
Sometime this year(what is left of it) or the next I will be promoted to the senior developer in charge of two schools.....
I already thought that the level of work that me and the current senior do is way too fucking much for two people. Can't really fathom all of it just being me without seeing a substantial increase in salary(there is one in place for it...but shit man I know myself and even then I am going to bitch about it repeatedly)
What sucks the most is that I can't wing it or just not give a fuck(my preferred technique) since I really like my department, my coworkers and specially my manager.
Its her fault. It really is. She is just so likeable and I really can't imagine not giving her anything other than my 100 .
And before everyone states that it should be 100 from the get go. I am not particularly fond of giving my all for a company/institution. Never.
The reason is that I have been fucked with way more times than I can count and normally feel that regardless of how much of a total badass I can be I will never see the full compensation of it. It has happened on every other job. So instead of working for the company I work for my team. If I don't like my team I don't give a fuck.
I am a good worker, was an excellent soldier and I am an even better engineer. But there is always this feeling that I am being taken advantage of that I just can't shake off everywhere that I am working at.
Even now, the reason why the lead is leaving is because of how he was fucked over during the reclassification process. It was a slap to him in the face. Now this glorious institution will lose someone that is really amazing all because they take shit for granted.
Everyone is a number, an id. As irreplaceable as we are they treated him as someone that would just take shit and be fine with it.
And trust me, where I am at, we ARE irreplaceable, this ain't cali where you flip a stone and you get 100 node/php devs. This is 0 man ground where devs are fucking wizards that no one knows exist.
Oh well.3 -
Company: Hi mordax, your profile shows you have an impressive background -
Me: Oh!
Company: So I'd like to extend an invitation-
Me: Oh!!! (Interview!!)
Company: - to a Women in Tech(™) event hosted by the company.
Me: Oh.1 -
So i just had an interesting conversation.
View source images in comments
So some background. I used to do a lot of Minecraft development and server configuration. And Minecraft being made of mostly 12-year-olds they really don't pay very well. So I moved on from Minecraft but someone reached out for me to do their configuration for their server. (this was about a month ago) and I quoted them 40/hr because that's what I charge for my web dev work. So he promptly declined and I thought that was that. But tonight he messaged me and found a 5 month old post saying how I was looking to do free development work in order to get experience. And here is how the converstion when.
(His name is "Candy")
Candy:
Lol
Trying to take advantage of me with your bullshit $40/hour claims
Which is outright laughable
https://mc-market.org/threads/...
”I am looking for a network to stay long-term with and help/see it grow into a bigger server. (I would expect pay later down the road if we work together on an ongoing basis)”
—
Quoting your MC-Market post.
What do you have to say for yourself? Trying to take advantage of people?
Going to say something else completely delusional or own up to the fact that you were trying to take advantage of me?
I already knew you were, but now I have the hard evidence.
As I am not a stupid person.
Not only did your friend lie, but you tried to take advantage of me, thinking I was stupid enough to fall for your $40/hour bullshit for basic configuration work. MineSaga charges $30.00 an hour on the high. Don’t even try to do the same shit you did to me to anyone else. It won’t work.
Me:I was interested in doing plugin development and learning so I offered my services for free so I could learn in a more real environment. I no longer do minecraft plugins rather I am a web developer and my rate is $40/hr I am good at configuration which is why i contacted you but I am not going to lower my rate because it is "simpler" work. Just like how you can higher a prostitute to wash your car but it would be cheaper to get the kid from around the block to do it. Also not sure what your end goal is here. I gave you my rate and you didn't agree with it. So you should just move on. Plus this is the minecraft world let me know when you get to the real world so you you can pay in big boy money.
Candy:
So your configuration work for minecraft is $40/h as well?
Lol
Absolutely hilarious.
Me:
did you not read my message?
"I am not going to lower my rate because it is "simpler" work."
Candy:
Who were your most recent clients?
Me:
i'm not going to give you that information
Candy:
Because you know you are lying to me with your crazy rates, and if you aren't, that means you have near to no clients.
Yet another lie.
Me:
keep telling yourself that buddy
Candy:
Lol
Good luck getting any more clients.
rip
Me:
?
I get more clients all the time
They just are not in your realm of your minecraft imagination where you can pay a developer 20$/hr
Candy:
I just strongly disagree with the fact that you are charging $40/hour for configurative work
xD
Me:
Okay
But why even contact me? Did you really think trying to "Call me out" was going to have me lower my rates or something.
Just get over it
Candy:
I haven't called you out and overcharging like that to others in the minecraft realm for a significant gain in money for work that is not worth nearly that amount is absolutely delusional.
I would recommend you stop making up false assumptions
Me: What ever you say
I left it at that. There was some more stuff but it was not that interesting so i left it out5 -
!dev !rant
One of my closest friends at work is 50. He is very well kept despise his age and feels like a young soul to me. The man could be my dad because of his age but we still hang out like regular friends.
I am 27, turn 28 this month.
The other day he said that he was glad I went through the military. He said that it was because of that that I matured way past my age and that thanks to all the traumatic shit I have an older soul.
While I don't disagree, I kinda feel sad at it, it was one of the only instances in which i have felt that my military service has brought something semi good from it.
Friends are cool tho.9 -
By accidentally telling his computer to delete everything in his servers, hosting provider Marco Marsala has, according to tech "experts", removed all trace of his company and the websites that he looks after for his customers.
http://n.mynews.ly/!QB.Dtj65 via @NewsRepublicUK2 -
Google Calendar: Oh hey, your event has been updated!
Me: Oh great...who rescheduled?
[Nothing's changed in the event]
1 -
Winforms.
Thanks to my school I was introduced to this shit and by George is it some of the most unintuitive crap I've ever used.
The drag and drop shit should be fine, but oh if ever you doubleclick on something it will add a [name]_click method, and if you think you can just remove it fuck you!
Then there's the fact that splitting stuff up is unintuitive as hell as well. That is, you can't. You can define areas you can show and hide, and then you can drag stuff into them. That should be fine but everything is still in the same page (and if you have stuff overlapping then you better not move it with your mouse because then it will belong to another of those things). Contrast that with the more ~~~complicated~~~ and ~~~not what we learn~~~ WPF which has frames where the content can be define in different files.
Oh but if thatt wasn't enough, the autogenerated code is horrible as hell.
I died a little inside when I learned someone decided to take it to the web as well D:
https://i.imgur.com/NL5ggIc.png
6 -
8years ago - me. "oh let's learn ruby it might be fun?"
"oh nvm let's get into php."
talk about bad decisions?3 -
Sorry Google, you got it wrong this time ....
Oh my gosh, look at that function definition ...
Oh my gosh, look at that variable ...
Oh my gosh, look at that zone ...
Oh my gosh, look at that long ...
Oh my gosh, look at that short ...
Oh my gosh, look at that stop ... is more my style.
10 -
Anyone else have an irrational fear of others finding the swears in your comments that you forgot to remove before pushing?2
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Can I be a fucker?
Here is the crazy guy on my fav childhood beach.
BT glasses now (today I want Portuguese hip hop) but usually camera glasses (suposed to be 1080p, pix are 640x480) , so other gadjet to unmount.
See that sea? Marvelous...
4 -
LOL CUSTOMER THAT DATABASE ENTRY DOESN'T 'JUST CHANGE' YOU CRA-----
Uh wait a ...
Oh.....
oh fuck....2 -
Was going through old photos from university time and...I present to you the result of deadline + lack of sleep + boredom + shitty university project because somebody decided that CS folks needed to learn webdev in old ASP.NET.
Yes that is one query. I wrote the entire thing out as a string in my C# program in one go and tested it by running it from the program. Must've worked properly because I got them grades so eh. I recall I had one nested seven levels too (this is just 5) but I can't find a photo of it. These two queries did all the business logic. Yeah.
Apologies for the poor quality photo of the screen, I don't have the code so no screenshot, this is just from my photos archive
4 -
I'm a bit late I know (only 10 years or so), but I never use windows explorer and especially not the home directory with its ridiculous location... but why the heck is it not possible to access the home directory from windows explorer? There are bullshit categories like videos and music, but no direct link to the home directory. The small arrow at the "root" of the adress bar seems to be the only way to access users home. WTF?14
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Sometimes when i drop my fone, break something or say something stupid i yearn for a real life "Ctrl + Z", and just undo that shit right quick.5
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Decided to install Linux for dev. Already crashed during install. Might as well just stick to Windows.4
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I made this sweet Oh my ZSH theme for myself.
Just fiddling around with my system to make it look better and nicer.
3 -
Helped a colleague today with finding the reason why everything was lowercase after a release. Turns out another colleague made a SQL upgrade script two months ago the did REPLACE(lower(value)... Found it in 10 minutes, saved a lot of time on debugging and still got scolded for working to long on another ticket...
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Got engaged to set up the CI for a project. Worked with the main developer to set up the dev environment only to find out that he deleted 80% of the migration files because he didn't know what they were
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QA: * reopens the bug I fixed *
Me: hi, whats up I thought I fixed that?
QA: *proceeds to explain totally different issue from totally different module* ... andd April fool.1 -
Just moved countries and started a new job at an awesome company, which is so great I have nothing yet to rant about.
Oh here goes: almost three weeks with no internet at home and no end in sight.2 -
I kinda feel like venturing into gentoo territory.
Should I do it?
Should I compile every program I want to install?13 -
Today:
Well, this data has been wrong since ... uh forever....
Well, how bad can it be, the company is still afloat and nobody has complained?
*fix*
*fix*
*fix*
-creeps away slowly-
2 -
Because of the amount of complaining I do at work concerning legacy php applications the HOD is trying to push for different technologies to use for backend services. We have met multiple times to discuss the proper way of handling the situation since there are a lot of very obvious things to consider regarding the push for a new tech stack. The typical names have come about, but my biggest issue will be training people for these stacks.
Testing environments with docker and so forth, push for CERTAIN applications to be more API centric and the use of better frontend frameworks that will remain standard for years to come(hard to bet on this one but I tend to orefer React) among other things are the topics of conversation.
Personally I would love to move the shop to something geared towards Golang, thing is, the lead dev is complaining about it saying that the training for a new language would just take time. After a couple of examples he is still not convinced.
I think its wrong of him to center himself on just PHP and JQUERY as the main development stack he uses and learning new things should be part of the job, I also have a case against the spaghetti code that results from just using vanilla php with no proper development practices(composer based systems, oop etc etc you get the gist)
In the end I am starting to think that it will become one of those "fuck off I am the boss" type of deal since I am going to be here after a long time and he has about 2 years before he medically retire.1 -
Oh look my website's stopped spitting out errors on every page load and I didn't even touch it!
I guess this confirms that it was my webhost's fault.
Ha.5 -
After disliking all the region based ads YouTube has been providing, I have now started getting ads of French products.
I fee like I've been played.4 -
I'm not going to get any real work done today, am I...
Here I sit waiting for the next problem to pop up because of silly untested edge cases by this team.
Ugh... 😮💨5 -
Had to change my password on my bitbucket cause a former employer was adding ssh keys.
Sorry pal, email notifications are rats -
Went out for a night of food and drinks and came across one of those little screens/kiosks with what I assume is Windows 10 and TeamViewer running o.o and the credentials open to the public. What makes it even worse is that all the screens in the area I live are connected to the same account. D:
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Well this is interesting:
https://slate.com/technology/2024/...
Will be interesting to see what happens here. I knew there was a jack up on prices for accessories. Never imagined it would be a lawsuit. I wonder if there is any collusion by Apple and Google to keep other phone makers out of markets? It seems like most phones are either iPhone or Android based. Maybe that part is organic.2 -
I'm so used to watching all websites with the dev tools open, that when I finally close it, they all look skewed to the right and not centeret.
Oh well, that's just a part of the game I guess -
When you filed for a VL but you need to go to work on that day because you have a lot of work and testing to do. Sounds fun
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I wish I could show y'all my fav youtuber, the dude's youtube name is Dross. He makes entertaining videos about horror, some of them are not legit at all, but still entertaining to watch. The issue is that they are in Spanish.
It sucks. -
So they're working on a way to store data in DNA. That means next generation computer science students have biology as a core course!
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I work at a school. I saw a kid walking in my building whistling pumped up kicks the other day. Felt a lil bit uneasy to tell ye the truth. Said good morning to him and nodded in approaval to the song. Just to be on his good side in case he goes batshit crazy. Still uneasy.
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I spent the whole day of yesterday trying to install the windows anniversary update after a clean Windows installation. Every time i tried to update it would go through 30% completion and then... BSOD, claiming that i didnt had a boot device. WUT? Anyway, after 5h of research and no success, i created a bootable usb installer and tried to install Windows 10 Education (which is my license). After the 1st restart... Error: Windows could not complete the installation. OH GOD WHY ME? After another hour i figured it out. Somehow i needed to install the version Windows Home and after the installation update to Student. DAMN WHAT A DAY...2
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Need $2000 by the end of November.
Oh, I forgot about car insurance. +$200
Oh, I forgot I'm changing apartments. +$2000.
Oh, I forgot about my credit card. +$100
Oh, I forgot about food. +$200 -
Chrome Helper is sucking up 100℅ CPU. Again. Why oh why oh why oh why?
It's 5 o'clock on a Friday... I'm calling it quits.
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What the hell is wrong with PreferenceScreen in Android? It's a disgusting horrible piece of shit. It looks awesome, but actually it's a horrible trap. Just wasted a whole day, when I could have just implemented it from scratch myself. Never gonna use that piece of crap again.
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Oh god no anything but this
(Seriously now, the reason is a bit complicated because Swift is different but focus on the meme, if you want an explanation I will give it to you in the comments lol)
3 -
Told my friends about this awesome app. It used to be my safe place earlier, but oh well... Kinda happy and sad about it at the same time. Hope they don't recognize my handle 😅1
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The first time was the time my father bought a pc for his work,I was around 5,I didn't know anything about computers back then,I just wanted to change things and see what happens!The first time I actually understood what devs do was the first year of high school when I started to learn C++ :))
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my first project was a star trek themed text based rpg adventure. it was a hell of spaghetti of if queries and gotos in gw basic. later these kind of things got something like an ui.
my first experience was my father doing mandelbrot sets from a magazine and i was watching building them up green pixel for greenpixel on an 8086 pc. it was raining outside and i was sitting in an arm chair with a warm blanket. this cozy feeling remains until today and might explain my personal attachment for this topic.
fortunately his failed attempt to introduce me into programming doing a morsecode translator did not stop me for long. -
Those days when you wake up and realise half the services you're platform relies on went down at 3am and you now have to deal with the aftermath.1
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