When your bug isn't on StackOverflow and you start to lose your sanity

This is me at 5 in morning 😭😭

"Learn Linux in under 15 minutes!"

"Learn python in an hour!"

"Become a pro hacker with these simple steps!"

How to make someone feel helpless.

First day at new web dev job:
Me: what IDE do you guys use?
Coworker: Notepad/notepad++
M: Okay... Any version control?
C: Oh we don't need it. We just update the server pages.
*Boss walks in*
Boss: Heres the project for you to do just need you to rebrand this web app we made for client A for client B just need to change some scripts. Should only take afew hours.

I take a look. No comments. Not formatted. Missing braces and brackets. Semicolons at odd places and missing at others. 7802 lines of code...

I: "Do you have the right version for your architecture?"
He: "What"
I: "Did you download the 64 bit or the 32 bit version?"
He: "I'm not sure but I think it was sth. between 40 and 50!"

Honestly, I’ve been complaining a lot about the company I joined a few months ago and especially about the code base and I just have to say ...

With good fucking reason, look at this shit, every single *.js file of our Angular app is manually added inside the master page
Not even minimized what the actual fuckkkkkkkkkkk

Me in every other commit or so

The Future:

Apparently, all the CS labs at my uni allow only vim, no other editors.

ONLY VIM.

PRAY FOR ME

Them: “We want parallax on our website on mobile!”

Me: “Parallax does not work in a mobile web browser.”

Them: “But it does here!” Shows me an iOS app that does parallax.

Me: “That’s in an iOS app. Not a mobile web browser”.

Them: “ Oh well. I’m sure you’ll figure it out!”

😐😐😐😐😐.
Welp.

I have my doubts of being a good developer when my fingers type this thing

Just checking if a string contains itself

My dad uses mouse to copy and paste texts, every fucking time.

End my suffering..

I use different variations of the same password. Everywhere.

It's worked out good so far but I can see it all crashing down on me at some point.

The Devs decided!
Behold my new name:
@IamGay6969
What...
No...
THIS CANT BE!
NOOOOOO!

As I have already said before, I am the president of my school's programming club. Today I checked my school email and saw this announcement:

"Girls Who Code Club Opened in Room C110: Girls Who Code is a non-profit organization whichaims to support and increase the number of women in computer science. Teams work to design and build a computer science impact project that solves real world problems they care about through code."

At first, in my opinion, girls who code is a terrible and failing idea. I get it if you'd want to teach dancing and sports classes with classes being seperated by gender. But teaching programming by gender is just absolutely stupid. In sports, different sexes tend to have different problems, while in Science based classes, we use logic, which is the same, independent of sex. Would you teach a math class by sex? I think not.

And now back to me being the president of the programming club. My club is having a bit of a hard time, due to it being started up late, and not even being featured in the club demonstrations in the beginning of the year. We are hoping to pick up a lot more students next year. But now, there's that goddamned GWC club. They have money and resources, while I have only my spare time and my friend. Everything I try to do has to be reviewed by the school, and due to my club having "less importance," I cannot afford to buy much. God help me!

It's not that I hate PHP, I just hate the lack of consistency in standard function naming and parameter order, nonsensical attribute access, nearly-meaningless comparison operators, reference handling, case (in)sensitivities, and more!

I mean, look at these functions:
strtoupper(...)
bin2hex(...)
strtolower(...)

And look at THESE FUNCTIONS:
array_search($needle, $haystack)
strpos($haystack, $needle)

array_filter($array, $callable)
array_map($callback, $array)
array_walk($array, $callable)

And let me jUST USE SOME ATTRIBUTES:
$object->attr = "No dollar sign...";
Class::$attr = "GOD WHY";

HOW ABOUT SOME COMPARISONS:
(NULL == 0) // true
(NULL < -1) // ALSO true

Functions AREN'T CASE SENSITIVE (at least variables are).

Wanna dereference? TOO BAD, YOU'LL HAVE TO GET OUT THE TNT.

Alright, yeah, I hate PHP.

That feel when you Google your problem and the first result is your own stack exchange post without any answers 🙄

Mosquito bites
Mosquito bites
Mosquito bites
Mosquito bites
Mosquito bites

Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Very specific and annoying situation here:

- Working on a machine learning project with other people
- I'm on Linux, they use Windows
- We code in python
- We generally use vscode for development, and its python extension

I implement some basic neural networks with tensorflow, and add a bunch of logging for it. I test it on my machine and it works fine.
But, my group mates report that "after a few seconds the entire client hangs".
Apparently it only happens on Windows?
We start debugging the hell out of the code I implemented, added 20 log messages and sat there for a solid hour.

Until I make one very odd realization: the issue doesn't happen when I run the script in my terminal, instead of vscode with the debugger. So I try different debug settings, using an external terminal instead of vscode's built in debug console seems to fix it too.
And I make another observation: In the debug console, some messages don't seem to appear at all, while the external terminal shows them just fine.

So, turns out, that printing an epsilon character: “ε” (U+03B5), causes the entire thing to hang up.

It's the year 2020 and somehow we still can't do unicode.
I'm so done, what on earth.

Dear machine

Just realized I'm commenting about how to summon Cthulhu with regex, while my upvote count is 666...

Őh bøy. Ţhįş įs ÑØŤ ģôíņğ ţø ęňđ węļĺ

So the end of my college semester is coming up...

35°C (95°F)

send help.

A real conversation I just had:

Brother: Have you heard of a game called Super Hot?
Me: Everyone has heard of that game.
Brother: Can you play it?
Me: I don't have the PC to run it.
Brother: I played it on my friend's Xbox.
Me: I don't have an Xbox.

*Pause for effect*

Brother: Can you build one?
(He's not stupid. He just likes to say things that will annoy me. We live in the same household, he would know if I have a PC or an Xbox.)

Hello.

Is there anyone else who starts massive amount of projects and never finishes one?

It's a big problem when you lose time you should spent on orders because you work on that-amazing-idea that you'll drop few hours later.
I'm lucky as my employer thinks that all these unfinished stuff are pushing my experience forward, but for me it's depressing to not be able to focus on my work.

What do you do to fight with the urge to code that one more project? What do you do focus on the current work?

I've tried making myself a system for better client-programmer communication to keep myself motivated with better organised feedback and deadlines but ended up dropping it and sticking to terribly messy mailbox.

oh god. I just heard an abrupt noise emit from a pc I was told to fix that could only be described as R2-D2 fucking a 56k modem

Today on "I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just a Burnt Out Dev".

Project Manager: "What day would prefer to demo your work?"
Me: "Tomorrow or Wednesday"
Project Manager: "Tomorrow is Wednesday"
Me: "O"
Project Manager: "O"
Me: 🤝
Project Manager: 🤝

Anyone else having problems remembering which day of the week it is? 😂😂

I am like the weakest programmer at my job. I wanna improve and get better. Understanding how to write good unit test to reading code. Damn it. I just wanna be better.

thought I'd check why I'm getting connection timeout on my app
I think the problem is me and not the code

Help me someone messed with my git config file and I just commited by the name of "Little Fuckboi". It was a School repository, how do I ctrl+z my life?

Yay, I just found out that my internship report is due for February 9th! Yes, today is February 11th, soon 12th! 🙃

Fucking Edge. I fixed a "bug" and now the bug-pointer tells me a line with only a comment causes a problem. Yea. Genius browser.

It's an "UNKNOWN" error btw, great debugging!

My dev mates are all gone for Xmas
Before one of them left we hugged.

He said:gonna get laid tonight, I'm going to be all out of orgasms
Me:YOU CANT SAY THAT WHILST YOUR HUGGING ANOTHER MAN!

Wtf is wrong with my friends

They like to freak me out by saying awkward things in uncomfortable situations

PS I don't hug people like ever I was trying to be nice 😕

when you are a 19yo trying to build a portfolio and you have a mother bashing everyday that you only spend time "at the computer" and I should get "a real job" and that "your dream will never come true" really is the biggest disappointment of my dev life.
It just builds pressure and sads me. She doesn't support me cuz I'm not "doing any money".
I feel like I should just quit everything or even disappear from this shitrock that is called earth....

After weeks of frustration attempting to learn Java, I will now start learning Phyton. God save my braincells

"(Caramel) stop posting weeb shit on source"

ME: but I don't put weeb shit in code...

Also ME:

Man how do you skinny devs keep so skinny? I'm not even eating fat things and I'm nearing to light obesity... Is there a patch that I missed? apt update says it's up to date?

GAH! Just tell me which app! 😶

Is it important to be proficient in vanilla JavaScript? Or Is jQuery enough?

I am a terrible designer. When i say terrible i mean my designs for website somehow always manage to look like an ugly piece of shit.

Halp?

I'm torn between waiting for 5000 points and paying 1.99$ for dual monitors on my avatar...

It happened! I found the answer I needed on page 4 of Google! Mind you it was among results such as "Watch Visual Studio S02E14 for FREE"

Help this DevRanter for Christmas! I'm 8++ removed from the amazing stressball on one of my rants!

I've realized I'm so busy working with technology, I don't have time left to keep learning it and playing with it. What are some fun ways you all keep learning new things and staying engaged?

Should i make my game open source? It will be free, but i'm worried about theifs..
(reuploading as their work, or selling)

Anybody's a father here? My 10 months kid is giving me hard times waking at 2am and not going to sleep till 4am (it is 4 now, here). That's a really repeating problem. I'm loosing my focus at work, tired after few hours of coding, couldnt mange to learn after hours. Makes me frustrated. My PM understands situation (actually he have 5 kids!), tries to help. But can't figure it out how to overcome this. Any ideas fellow dads in code? To make it clear - I really love my son, but if I'll fail to keep my level at job I could loose it one day, don't feel like beeing able to find new decent job with current exhaust level. Also I'm the only one who makes money in our lil family, loosing job for too long means loosing the roof under the head for all three of us. My wife is barely living after beeing there for son whole day, so please dont point at her. Our kid is really demanding on attention and love, and thats like a sweet poison. Love kills.

I should have known this job would be bad in my first week when they told me most of the classes are just copy-pastes of each other with different names

Okay, so I have a question...

Although unethical, I’m considering disabling a clients services without warning. They’re 6 months behind on paying me and I have complete access over their network infrastructure. Upon reading our contract, I’ve made the mistake of incorporating services will be discontinued due to lack of payment... But, I know if I disable things they’re not smart enough to figure out why they aren’t working and call me... That’s when I’ll tell them that I can’t preform work until past bills are paid in full.

I’m located somewhere in the US. Is this too unethical, too illegal? I just want my fucking money... Thanks!

EDIT: Yes I have invoiced then monthly. They’ve received them because I had deliver al invoices to avoid the “oh I never received it” claims.

So this happened:

Client: “I just checked the page and the background video isn’t playing anymore. There’s just a play button in the middle”

Me: “It’s doing that because you are on low battery mode on your iPhone. Take it off”.

😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐

Making the CPU was easy :(
Porting the GCC is damn hard.
Hotel? Trivago 😭

Been sitting here for 10 minutes already. Trying to see if we can still support the customers who are stuck in the dark ages. Oh my gaeddd...

So
My social life is falling apart, I'm losing friends because I have no time to interact with them, because I have a lot of homework to do, but lost motivation at all to study or better myself, but still being pressured by my parents to do that, I have also lost interest in learning something new or improving my existing skills, and life has just lost its meaning the past couple of weeks, and I'm feeling extremely pointless, suicidal and helpless
What do?

So I've been working a lot with Docker lately (who isn't) and there was this one service always DIEING on me.
Docker logs showed me that it was killed because the container was unhealthy.
I researched for a whole day and couldn't find it...
After I got home it hit me like a hammer...
The healthcheck uses basic Auth and the password was changed yesterday...

How the fuck could I start to try every shit before I even checked if the request done by the healthcheck is working...

FUCK ME I'M SUCH A MORON SOMETIMES

So for context, I'm doing an Apprenticeship in IT and naturally I've been put on help desk.

I've recently been given a phone on my desk since I'm trusted enough and know enough about our software that there's no risk to me accepting calls.

I get the standard ones, a number from a different country, poorly pronouncing a co-workers name, asking if they can speak to them. I give my normal response, "I'll just check if they're in a meeting and I'll get back to you" (which they somehow always are) and ask if they would like to leave a message. They obviously don't since they're usually scams.

Since Tuesday I've started getting calls from "BT Technical Support". I don't use BT. My company doesn't use BT. So, it's clearly a scam.

Yesterday, the same guy calls me up, Thomas he says his name is. I go along with it for a while, agreeing that I've noticed our network has been slow until the point where he asks me to begin to install TeamViewer. I realise what he's going to do so I ask him what the problem with our network is.

I hear him start to respond but he stops. He's got no clue what to say, so I say to him, "Thomas mate. I think our biggest problem with our BT network is that we don't have BT."

He puts the phone down.

So I ask you for help, lovely people of devRant.

I have a Windows 10 VM ready to go. I have a couple notepad files labelled as "Passwords" and "Bank Details". What else can I throw on there to make this guy think he's hit the jackpot without really causing too much damage?

Any ideas would be appreciated. <3

Just declined a small internship to work at NASA because I feel like I’m too introverted and incapable of doing it (knowledge wise).

It was a unexpected offer in person and I wasn’t prepared for it, so instead of saying “I’ll let you know” I outright declined it.

Feeling extraordinarily defeated over my answer. Any hope of recovering from the situation? It might seem like a simple task to call the guy and let him know I changed my mind, but the thought of doing so seems extremely scary for me.

As a side note, he is a family “friend” and a customer of the business I currently work at (where he offered it to me) (unrelated field of work)

Why does node-sass have such garbage documentation?!
I've now spent over an hour trying to get a clear and concise answer to how that shit works, and what do I get? This: (see picture)

I don't know what any of that means, nor do they care to tell me.
I don't want to render this shit at runtime, I want it to compile the sass code when I make changes to it so my app doesn't get boggled down by unnecessary background processes.
But nooo of course not.
To top it off, the "easy" electron-compile solution doesn't even fucking compile because all its dependencies are either outdated or 404 on me. 😡

It's shit like this that makes me hate web-style development. Lacking documentation and people who just assume everything is logical and clear from the start. It's fucking not.

So I literally made a Gentoo ebuild just to install a OEM wallpaper..

I really need to do something with my life

For about 3x years now, we have had 3x generic work email addresses that are used as microsoft accounts for office 2016 licenses.
(The company is dragging its heels on getting office 365 so MS like to make our lives hell.)

Suddenly we can’t get office updates... and when we sign in to see why, it says that because we are apparently only 3 years old we need our parents permission to use the account or we’ll lose access by September.
Never were we forced to enter a DOB when setting the accounts up!!! So it used the account setup date instead.

It turns out that we can’t change our DOB ourselves, as we are a ‘child’ and need a parents permission.
Fine.
I access my personal account and follow the instructions to add the 3x email addresses as my children so i can change the DOB.

‘Ha ha’ i hear microsoft saying, ‘it doesn’t work that way!!’

No, In order for the parent to verify their child’s identity, they are charged 0.50c per child!
Wtf!!
Doesn’t cost a lot but come on Microsoft!!

It’s that, or submit ID, which obviously wont work for a generic support@ email address like we have.
So annoying and we don’t know what to do.
Wonder how much MS are making out of this...

​I'm a junior dev in a scrum team with two senior devs: one actual senior and one average dev that's just been around for a long time. At stand up meeting, that average senior lists helping me as one of his task Every Single Day. 9 out of 10 times when I ask him a question we end up asking the senior senior together.

I'm on this fair and there are suits walking almost everywhere!

Even in the "Tech" area.

Like 'a-bit-to-confident' ducks with their heads up in the cloud exposing their throat while walking right into my sharp blade. Inexorable stumbling headless right over the edge of the next bridge, hitting the rails with their rubies. Helpless, waiting to get caught by the next hype-train.

*sigh*

I kept getting the same AttributeError like 15 times in a row and picked up my graduation rubber ducky and screamed "I DONT FUCKING KNOW"

!rant

I am new to coding, and I am trying to find a platform to host my code. Should I choose GitLab.com or GitHub.com. Maybe the better question is: Will my code be as accessible on GitLab as it is on GitHub?

Me: ok, time to archive this shit and publish :D
Xcode: ok. Archiving started
10min later archiving done

Publishing to app store connect,
5 min later, sorry, we can't publish this cuz u haven't changed the build number from 2 to 3¯\ _(ツ)_/¯

Me:😠ok, whatevs, let's do this, archive
Xcode: ok, archiving started
10min later, archiving done!
Me: click next to upload to app store connect, 5 min later...
XCODE: SORRY, U CAN ONLY PUBLISH ON XCODE GM'S TO APPSTORE CONECT

Me:😤 OMG, OK 3rd time is the charm...

So now xcode has started archiving, I hope nothing happens again 😬

Does anyone know good tools to use for designing a site? Like I'm good a developing but I suck when it comes to designing :/

Hey! would you like me to teach you some Ajax? I can make it both fun and nutricious!

I can't stop procrastinating from doing what I need to do. This extends to even web development and coding on personal projects, which is something I really enjoy doing.

It's as if I have some sort of underlying fear holding me back each time I get the chance to get things done. Normally I don't have the time and make the excuse for myself that there "is not enough time" but tbh I now literally have an entire week in front of me free, with nobody to distract me. I am actually getting my long-desired time alone. I can finally power through all the things that require intense focus, like coding.

And yet, I can't bring myself to just do it. Instead I make excuses and go play video games instead (Overwatch has been a really bad time sink for me). I haven't been able to do what I wanted to for like a year now. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I need help guys!! Anyone have advice for me?

Client is setting up Google Suite, needs me to create a TXT record. She sends me a screenshot of the record that needs to be created, so I ask her to copy/paste the record values .... she copy and pastes the URL and sends that to me. I ask again for her to copy the values in the fields on the page and send them to me ... she sends me another screenshot. How do these people get through a day?

Received a complaint that the year dropdown list isn't far enough (ends at 2022). They wanted it to go all the way to 2027. My script handles this by getting the current year then add 5 to it and it generates the values in the dropdown list. All I had to do was change from '5' to '10' in the config puppet files. Contractually, any source code changes needs to be documented and informed to the client. I followed suit, documenting how I am going to make the change. This is new as it involves using git to commit the changes and pull it in the server that talks to the git server. This shouldn't take more than a minute to fix.

Submitted and wanted to finish this today. Client decided to wait til next week to complete the code change to fix the complaint. A work that can be done in a minute is now dragged to a week. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Laptop on
Pepsi in the glass
Chips in the bowl
Yeah it's perfect evening

My boss gave me a lab pc (not controlled by the internal IT) so I can put whatever OS I want on there. I'm planning to also write certain documents with something like LaTeX on it.

When he gave it to me, he said “but don't goo too overboard with it, I know much time you can sink into Linux and TeX”

Me, actually planning to go fully overboard in every aspect: “haha yeah don't worry I'll just install Ubuntu or something”

Looking for some advice....

So I'm a web dev that works remotely full time from home which I love, I'm expecting my first child in late march which is really exciting but I'm starting to think about how it's all going to work with the missus home for at least 12 months and of course a baby that (without sounding horrible) is going to be a big distraction to me when I'm trying to work.

So just wanted to know if there was anyone else out there in a similar position or that has gone through the same thing and how you did it? Is there any advice you can give me?

Appreciate any thoughts.

Wtf is wrong with me? Last night, I had a very hard time falling asleep even though it was 3am.

Today, I've now been laying in my bed for over 2 hours, and I'm not even close to falling asleep. It feels like my brain wants to think over every possible scenario of what could happen tomorrow...
Please send help...

PM: Zip up the prototype and push it to a temporary folder on the master git repo.
Me: *twitch*

My inner nocturnal self strikes again it's currently 1am, the alarm is set to 5am

I got rejected over 100 times. Even for internships. Should I continue going self-taught or should I go back to college?
😭😭😭😭😭

I need help..

Started learning C just for fun.
Any words of wisdom, recommendations or threats?

So I decided to help my Mom's Mom setup an Amazon Fire TV. Now I've been here for about 3 - 4 hours and I'm setting up 2 Fire Tv's, A Router, Writting down passwords, setting up an Amazon account with Prime and fixing her computer.. 😤😢

Recently (last 6 month) I am getting a feeling like I don't know what to do in my life. I don't have any short and long term plan for my life. No ambition and no will power to do anything. procrastinating all task and doing them when there is no time.

Recently I was offered equity in my company and I don't know if I want that. I don't have any answer to any question in my life.

Does anyone know what to do?

We have been given two Spanish exchange students for 10 weeks. We are a UK based creative agency, the minor issue being they don't speak a word of English, so there is a significant language barrier.

What would people recommend for a way to help them learn some basic languages e.g HTML, CSS etc.. with such a significant language barrier.

(Already tried Google translating everything)
With my strong Yorkshire accent, my Spanish doesn't come out too great 👌

Starting to get really hyped about how my book is progressing, thinking about starting to put some promotional items and desk tat together...

Oh lord I'm a better author than a dev, someone slap me...

(I'm slightly terrified that it might actually get finished and may have fans so my mind is sort of melting into sludge and I hide it behind excitement)

The moment when you're so bored in school that you are screwing around with CMD...

When you don't know if you should start a developer tutorial channel. I have a good mic, 4 years dev experience and good editing skill. Should i?

Guys, I think I am addicted and I have problems... I tried to write a simple SudokuSolver program in C# (one file) but I ended up writing an ExtensionMethods class, a Puzzle class, a Solver class, an IO class, a Program class...

That's why I hate working on big side-projects for too long

!rant
I need a new OS.
I have one year of Kubuntu, one year of Fedora KDE and there years of Arch Linux (Openbox, KDE, i3wm).

Now I'm undecided between debian and Arch Linux as a stable System.

What do you guys recommend me?

I hate picking huge software from AUR and need to compile it, but i hate having always a, yes stable package, but under versioned...
(and, exist a Debian minimal without everything Archstyle?)

I need guidance about my current situation.
I am perfectionist believing in OOP, preventing memory leak in advance, following clean code, best practices, constantly learning about new libraries to reduce custom implementation & improve efficiency.
So even a single bad variable name can trigger my nerves.

I am currently working in a half billion $ IT service company on a maintenance project of 8 year old Android app of security domain product of 1 of the top enterprise company of the world, which sold it to the many leading companies in the world in Govt service, banking, insurance sectors.

It's code quality is such a bad that I get panic attacks & nightmares daily.

Issues are like
- No apk obfuscation, source's everything is openbook, anybody can just unzip apk & open it in Android Studio to see the source.
- logs everywhere about method name invoked,
- static IV & salt for encryption.
- thousands of line code in God classes.
- Irrelevant method names compared to it's functionality.
- Even single item having list takes 2-3 seconds to load
- Lag in navigation between different features' screens.
- For even single thing like different dimension values for different density whole 100+ lines separate layout files for 6 types of densities are written.
- No modularized packages, every class is in single package & there are around 100+ classes.

Owner of the code, my team lead, is too terrified to change even single thing as he don't have coding maturity & no understanding of memory leak, clean code, OOP, in short typical IT 'service' company mentality.

Client is ill-informed or cost-cutting centric so no code review done by them in 8 years.

Feeling much frustrated as I can see it's like a bomb is waiting to blast anytime when some blackhat cracker will take advantage of this.

Need suggestions about this to tackle the situation.

I need a project. I am on holidays, I don't have a computer at hand and can only code small things on my phone, mainly in python... Sad thing is I don't have any idea what to code.

Give me your challenges (please), so I can keep mental health!

P.S: if anyone has a working way to use Node.js on Android, I'd be glad to take it :)

My productivity has gone fucking low.
I have hundreds of things ti do , Prepare for exams, write code for my internship project,write code for my game, learn new things about ML,etc.
But all I fuckin do is play games all day instead of making mine!

Plz help, give me some words of encouragement or tell me something that you do to boost your productivity and keep away from distractions !

I would consider myself in the topper half of c++. I build compilers, i contributed 1000 linus to the linux kernel... But still: I am (only) 14 and lack experience... Could you please share some tipps for a young programmer... Not only for jobs, but also to improve more...

I’m tired of being put in positions where design gives me a rough mock-up a week (or less) before its launch day. It’s frustrating and I’m tired.

Want to read a book that can help me avoid newb mistakes and can help me write beautiful code ?

Pragmatic programmer(1999)
Or
Clean code
Or
any other book ?
Help me !!?

!rant
"if you wrote good Code, you dont have to debug it. But if its Bad Code, you will spend 90% of your Time Talking to a Rubber Ducky"

-Me right now
(Or someone other but probably me)

So I am only 15 and I am trying to find local businesses that will allow me to either build them a website or let me redo their current website.

Doesnt sound thay complicated right? I have gotten to do it once, for a laid back coffee shop owner whos business went out of business a day after i emailed him about it being done. I mean how the hell does that even happen!

I have tried different types of emails and shown all of my work, which it is all good sites that look professional. Issue is alot of people dont trust email offers or dont trust me cause im 15. I am not much of a person who can walk into a store and talk to the owner about it, i am not social in that aspect.

So anyone have any ideas?

I need a good programming game for Android, and I need it now! (Stuck at a party)

I don't know what's wrong with me this morning. I started refactoring, and I know I'm overdoing it. I can't stop myself. I'm stuck fiddling over it like a meth head scratching his skin.

Please stop me. I'm hurting the code.

Developers. !=. God's of tech

Do ppl really think we know every single big apps error codes?!?!
Isint tht Googles job, I Google errors and solutions every day for like 1015 times.

Speachles

[Public Survey?]
I'm in a stressfull situation.
In 2 years, I will hopefully attend a university of applied science.
I have two ways to go.
I can still go on with Computer Science and up with a Bachelor.
Or I will attend a university where I will get my Bachelor in Aerospace Engineering.

I know that this place isn't really a place to discuss this sort of topic. But Idk how else I should solve it. I can not get rid of this decision. Even tho it's a personal decision, I also want to hear your opinions.

Man I currently have a burning hot passionate desire for physics. It actually gets me so damn excited. I mean it is basically damn magic ya know. But then I have a passionate desire for programming and that gets me excited. And then I have a burning desire for Math and that gets me excited as well. But I don't know what to push my life towards because I want to focus more on my ultimate goal. It's like having to choose between 3 amazing girls(not that I would know how that feels)

so i have to practice on codewars for homework and my code.. doesnt work! what a surprise. i was wondering if anyone could tell me whats wrong since yall are professionals. its probably a stupid mistake. this is the challenge: Implement a method that excepts three integer values a, b, c. The message return true if a triangle can be built with the sides of given length and false in any other case.

Hello devs, I need help from database devs.

The company where I'm interning is a non IT company, so they planned to migrate to a SQL Database from their older MS Access Database.

Since I'm the only IT intern, I'm up against the major devs and hot shots from where my company outsources IT solutions.
They suggested SQL Express.

I have a meeting tomorrow with them, please help me so that I can get better results for my company.
Basically I have to question them about how their decision works better for our firm and why didn't we go for MySQL Enterprise Edition or anything which is much better and cheaper and such critical questions.
Please help me.

The Database would be used to store information about the products manufactured and their parts' history so that in future if there's a problem with the product, it can be looked up in the database so that there can be further replacement or repair processes.

Anyone who is a contributor @ an open source project?

When you wanna learn new languages but you don't know shit even about you current ones 😂

UPDATE ON THE SCHOOL NETWORKING SITUATION:

the entire country has entered total self-isolation for 3 weeks, which means no physical school for 3 weeks. I have to suffer at home for 3 weeks.

Fun.

(save me, please. I am beyond help.)

How to deal with a tech illiterate Karen-type client who uses tech related words even she/he don't even understand them?

Ok so I bought a new phone yesterday and my entire day today has been massive failure and loss.

I have to get various things done but fuck!!!
Help me

I start coding in the evening - sunny (middle EU)
*8 hours later*
I stop coding - sunny

In my brain: "I lost one day, or I am new Mr Strange and I stopped time"

Well, I've started work a few days ago, and I've got a rant for you as well.

Anyone here ever hear of laughter therapy?

Well my day was normal enough, rattling through the training material, and work was holding an appreciation day with some dogs, cakes, and a crazy laughing woman. She was the instructor for the laughter therapy.
So thanks to my newly found "try everything" mentality, and a senior dev dragging me along to fill seats, I was stuck in a room filled with other devs, being told to smile and laugh even if I was forcing myself to do it. So I did, we went through increasingly embarrasing and insane-looking exercises (e.g. Mime pouring and drinking a milkshake while laughing), until we were told to lie on the floor and belly laugh for 5 minutes.

Anyone here play/see "We Happy Few"? I was stuck standing next to the crazy sow, who looked one bad day away from beating everone in the room to death with a cricket bat!

As is customary for me, have a cute snek.

So I'm kind of a fledgling webdev. Where would I go to learn how to do backend in order to do logins, manage inventory, create posts, that kind of thing?

I know a little bit of PHP, HTML, and CSS, but only enough to make static pages... it's kind of bad...

The internet at large is annoying me.

I just signed up for the payback card through Rewe. Cool idea. It's a German points card, and I have an American phone. Play store tells me the app isn't available in my country, and I don't see it on fdroid.

Anyone have suggestions for a reliable apk site to get this from?

Is anyone addicted to anything other than coding? :)

(Totally not a recovering addict looking for reassurance >.>).

There it is: a nice working nginx webserver with SSL, PHP, MySQL and HTTP2 on a Raspberry Pi3, but

I have no idea what to do with it.

Do you have one?

So after 7 months of soul crushing searching I was able to land an awesome job I never thought I'd get! I didn't really get hired for my projects, I think I was more of a culture fit that knew enough of what they were talking about. My colleagues are awesome, helpful people but they are also clearly way ahead of me as devs. I know that many new hires have similar feelings and it's more a matter of drive + time. I understand that and I'm ready for the marathon ahead of me but I have one HUGE concern... I don't understand unit testing. I've never written unit tests in JavaScript or Java (just on paper I wrote random assert statements for a college exam question that somehow turned out correct). More importantly, I don't understand when to write unit tests and what my main objectives should be when writing them. At work they talk about unit testing like it's just as basic as understanding version control or design patterns, both of which I have had no problems asking questions about because I at least understood them generally. I come here looking for resources, mainly things I can go through over the weekend. I understand that I'm going to have to ask my colleagues for help at some point but I DON'T want to ask for help without any solid base knowledge on unit testing. I would feel much more comfortable if I could understand the concepts of unit testing generally, and then ask my team members for help on how to best apply that knowledge. I'm sorry for begging, I'll definitely be looking for resources on my own too. But if anyone could point me to resources they found to be helpful & comprehensive, or resources that they'd want their co-workers to use if they were in my position I would be very grateful!!!!

Someone asked for help to solve some errors on an angular app.

Me: sure np, send me the repo link to see what is the issue.

She: *proceeds to send me a 250mb rar*

Me: what is that? I prefer the repo so I can see the history please

She: got me there, haven’t versioned yet

Me: WHAT? You’ve been working for three weeks without versioning anything?

She: yep, because I can’t make it work so, why would I?

I really ask myself sometimes if we are in this world just to suffer.

What would be your recommendation to Code in c++ to challange him besides a fcking Hello World Program.

I can’t believe I’m going to say this but maybe it’s time for a new job.

Hello, world!

Okay, guys and gals... I need your creative minds. I need a concept for sort of a property manager for my game.. I have an idea of my own, feel free to tear it apart or throw it out the window.

So basically.. You'll no longer have one Computer System (and you wont instantly hit the login screen for that System on startup) Instead, you'll have a lot of things. They will probably only be represented using text and menu's (likely no 3D or 2D environments or anything.. Though, a setup like News Tycoon would be epic, but I think that would be too much for this game.) You'll basically start off with a small space (probably a basement) with x amount of free space. In that space, you'll need to add things like a desk, chair, and a laptop, or tower + monitor. You can also buy things like server rigs with a ton of space, but those are pricy and bulky. Each item costs X amount and takes up X amount of space. Also, you'll need a desk for a monitor (or multiples..) and other things.. (Like your rubber duck collection ;P JK) You can also rent and manage servers. (renting is more exspensive in the long run, but things on your server are not on your property. But, if you own a server on your property you can rent space to to NPCs) As well as manage your devices, properties, stocks, etc..

Also, there will be in-game time. Depending on how "comfortable" you are will determine how long you can stay up in a day. In-game events will take place later on at specific times so staying up (or not..) will need to be managed well. Especially if you're being targeted by a rival (NPC) hacker.

We're trying to use Oracle databases in Visual Studio. They won't install the Oracle developer tools on my system. Life has lost all meaning. I'm floating in an endless void where the only sensations are confusion and the vague sense that someone is stepping on my stomach

Man... I got a really good story to make a visual novel game but its way too art heavy for me... anyone who can illustrate or atleast good at drawing?

I find it so difficult naming my classes, and Id’s in html and naming my variables in both JS and PHP. They are either too short and vague, or too long and specific. Haha Sometimes I wonder if I should use underscores or camelcase :( hard choices! >.<

I need help and advice!

I currently work as an consultant at a large corporation. Came onboard for 1-2 years to help rebuild one of their platforms. From the beginning the mindset was that the finished product should not be developed based on anything else than customer testimonials and interviews regarding functionality and design. However, they’re building their platform developed and distributed by this other company. Basically they bought a system that is incomplete regarding to being compliant to the specifications brought to them when they decided which system to go with. Now we’re trying to build around all the issue this platform is causing us. The code base for the system is like something a monkey did with their feet. Nothing makes sense and it’s layers on top of layers of 10 year old code. I f-ing hate it. I don’t know what to do. We have some many technical limitation that it’s impossible to create the vision they had from the start.
I’ve been thinking about talking to the highest chief in the department as he has been pissed earlier about project managers not escalating issue to him earlier. But I don’t want to step on anyones toes. Should I leave the project? Should I talk to the chief? What do I do? I’m miserable🤯

A friend suggested that I'd start learning a scriptable language like Ruby, Python or JavaScript instead of beginning with HTML and CSS, until I feel comfortable with programming.
I want to be a web developer and Ive learned some HTML.
So, any opinions?

Trying to come up with a good Easter egg idea for a site...Any fun unique ideas? I was thinking of having a randomly placed invisible button that when clicked turns all images to Nicholas Cage...

Good afternoon guys. Long time no hear from me and I'm sorry about that. Had a lot health problems to fight.

I'm currently trying to list all processes that are running on my pc with a C# program. VS is running with admin rights but I'm still getting an error: "System.ComponentModel.Win32Exception: Access denied Error"
I tried googling it but if found the answer I didn't understand it.
Please help me.

Hey, up for a challenge?

Upgrade to iOS 12 beta 2,
When all of your apps fail to open and u can only use apple safari, notes & other apple apps, start regretting the decision and downgrade your phone to iOS 11.4 when your phone starts up in data recovery mode and fails to recover data and then u need to send mom a sms of that picture of your family and explain the reason for why all of your data got deleted send me a picture so I can see how I did😤...

I deleted my jailbreak for this shit?!

(I understand it's a beta, but cmon on beta 1 haw of my apps didin't work, and on beta 2 I needed to restart my phone for 6 times before apps might start working and u need to wait 2 weeks before another beta releases, fuck off appl. With this beta shit, I guarantee there were thousends of users with same issue fix tht.)

Hey all. I'm a fresh college grad with a bachelor's in Software Engineering minor in math. I'm applying to countless jobs with little to no luck hearing back. Any tips from you all? Much appreciated!!

I have a unreasonably large amount of commits just for these files in the repository.
Is there something wrong with me?

So I was just wondering why is do Snapchat take worse photos on android but we have better cameras so I download and check the source code naturally I check the source code and lo and behold I see this apparently snap for android doesn't use the camera it just screenshots it wtf?

Do you know a good application to code like software program Visual Studio code, Atom and others ?

So am teaching a friend of mine some Java basics. Unfortunately he keeps insisting on using Eclipse to be taught. Tried showing him the beauty of InteliJ but he says it's too confusing 🙃. So here I am typing some full codes that I could have magically inserted on InteliJ. I don't know how long I can take it.

Ok guys n gals, I really need help with this one. I have been offered a position at a company with a nice salary but I really don't feel the company's product, furthermore I think that the industry cut they are working in is one of the most boring ones. Thus taking this job will mean that I will be turning on almost everything I believe. Another thing is that I will have to relocate to a town that I really don't like.

On the plus side the team looks great. Everyone seems really friendly and I am certain that I will gain a lot of experience. Also I'm a recent grad and I've been looking for a position for a couple of months. I know that this looks like a dumb dilemma but for me it's not. I'd really appreciate your advice..

Hey everyone, I need some suggestions for a note taking app/method that is accessible on Linux (and maybe Android). I want to use this for keeping code snippets, todolists for different projects, etc...

I would prefer not to use Google keep for this. Thanks!!! 👨‍💻👨‍💻👨‍💻

Wanting to have an avatar but not enough points....

So I feel like looking up solutions for my code is cheating, so I try to do it on my own for hours. Nothing I try works and the solution is usually something really simple and I feel like I'm never going to understand..

It is Monday 1:22PM here and what is on my mind? Sleeping. I freaking want to sleep right now.

What the hell do I do to keep awake #_#

I'm absolutely exhausted...
Just spent the past 2 days restructuring our SAAS products entire server network on AWS just so we can have a static IP address for all our server instances passing through an NAT....because we need to integrate with another service that only allows you to access their API if they whitelist your IP.

Totally legit questions being downvoted or disregarded on stack overflow.
Also people posting long ass answers with absolutely no code snippets.

Not prepared at all for this Assembly exam I'm about to take. Wish me luck!

Hey i want to put one of this stickers on my laptop do you have suggestions ?

!Rant
Fuck...
Fuck...
Fuck... I legit bricked my system... I just wanted to install Mint... I got desperate and changed my partition from MBR to GPT... Which my computer should be able to boot into... But for some damn reason, it didn't... And I got a blue screen of almost death... So now my only hope is to install Linux mint on my D: drive and convert the GPT partition to an MBR Partition... :( Im so screwed...

Just started learning Kotlin for Android development, what are some good references?

So guys at the moment Im working at a medical company as a business temp but I really like it here. At the moment they know me as the tech guy. I want to be the official systems administrator here but don't know how to go about doing that.
I have a strong Linux background but everyone here uses windows.
I think that they need a server but I don't think I can just go up to my boss and say "hey, I know I'm not certified yet but hows about you give me money so I can set up a server for you?"
I need advice.

Shamefully stuck :(

Having a hard time finding work. Jack of all trades, master of none. Went to college for a while, but never finished a degree. Mostly self taught and can easily learn on the fly.

Can program, 3d design and model, ins and outs of unreal engine 4, web stuff, can do IT work, knows VR standards and tricks, powerful desktop and powerful laptop, plenty of uhd cameras, knows Android and ios, etc.

Where do I look? What can I apply for? Can I make money on my own? Can I provide a service? How do I sell that?

HALP 😫

for (int i = 0; i < you.rants.length) {
If (you.rants[i].isAwesome || you.rants[i].isFunny) {
you.rants[i].upvote();
}
}

FUCK MY LIFE WHY CANT A RASPI BOOT FROM USB??! I'VE BEEN WORKING ON A PROJECT FOR IT FOR THE LAST WEEK, SPENT NIGHTS LEARNING ELECTRONIC BASICS AND GUESS WHAT? THAT FUCKING RASPIAN ON MY MICRO SD CARD IS NOT BOOTING. AND I CANT REINSTALL IT BECAUSE I HAVENT GOT AN FUCKING ADAPTER FOR THIS SHIT. I HAVENT BEEN USING A MICRO SD FOR YEARS.
AND NOW I CANT TEST MY PROGRAM BECAUSE I NEED THE RASPIS GPIO PINS :(

Thinking of getting a new laptop.

Lenovo v330 i7-8550u , 8GB DDR4
OR
Asus vivobook s15 i7-7500u , 8GB DDR4

Which one ?

Gonna be applying for college. Gonna major in programming.. I've always read the horror stories.. I hope my teachers arent retarded and dont make me use shit software..

Any advice?..

How do people make clones without tutorials!? 😭😭

I'm tryna clone bleacher report but have no clue where to start cause they're no guides anywhere

I know the world doesn't owe me anything but why is it so fucking hard to get a job in this industry?? Unless you have a few years experience in a job behind you. Well if I can't get a fucking coding job in the first place how the fuck am I supposed to get work experience. The world is deluded fucked up place. Rant over!

!rant
God damnit, I'm 20 and already got a burn out due to work (fast food job) and school.

I go to school 5 days a week 8 hours a day and I work every weekend 8 hours a day only so I can afford my study better and to be able to afford my internship to Japan next year.

The worst thing is I'm in a endless loop because if I stop with school I need to work full time to pay off my school loan and if I stop my work I can't pay for part of my school and my internship.

If anyone has any tips for me what to do before this ends badly I will gladly hear them

Gah! I was doing my school work and my computer crashed. why!?

Okay so my question isn't about coding or programming but I know at least a few of you holes here (said lovingly) are either gamers or programming games.

I have written up the text files for rather large game over the years and the designs have been incredible according to my peers (I think they're shit but... meh... my opinion doesn't matter that much as art is subjective, not objective).

Recently I have stopped having any new ideas. At all. Ever. It's like age has progressively halted my muse and imagination. I keep making new things just to throw them away and start over. I'm not depressed or down on my luck. Already tried that card and... nah, I'm good.

My question is... how do you guys keep doing it? Creating new things? What makes you tick and keep pushing even when you're out of sync like this?

going through a rewrite is hell. the first stage you will be disgusted with how they layed out their code, contemplate the dump, eventually rewrite the entire thing, then cry throughout the entire process into your gallons of therapy iced tea.

I don't even know what half of these API calls are for.

So, for my task I'm supposed to make Multithreading in java simple and understandable using Runnable classes.

The only problem is, that that's practically impossible when you're in a course where more than 80% can't even write a hello world program.

Any ideas?

Why am I the only student that others in IT/programming class look up to when it comes down to basic c++ programming??!

It's not *that* hard. Just read the book provided to you by school, goddammit! Just because I can write and use more than one dimension in an array DOES NOT make me any better in prigramming!(or maybe it does, idk)

But, as much as I hate those lads, deep within myself I want to help them get as best of scores in finals as they can. Here's hoping they come around to realise that and pay attention when I try to give them tips...

I've solved hard problems before, and used languages other than Java, but for some reason I don't know how to start using SQL. I couldn't find a SQL IDE. Any suggestions on how to start working with SQL on a Linux computer?

I'm a lazy ass person and I wanna learn web development.
However, I only have one problem.
I don't have a computer, or even a laptop.

When you accidentally send a screenshot of a chat to the person him/herself. Lot of shitload to get out off .. FYI I blocked the person. Would have to deal with it 1.5 months later when I actually meet her after vacations. I need luck :(

I work in a fast-changing company. I find it difficult to deal with using new languages / tools every few months. How do you deal with it?

Also, hi! I'm new.

I'm a computer science major... Is it really worth all this hard work😣

GDPR... Where do I even start 🤔

I want to build a Ubuntu remix

Any tips to get started?

!rant

To all the Mac users in here, I want to get in on the iOS app business, but I kinda don't have money for a new macbook. SO! What are your experiences with MacBooks older than 2013? I'm talking about the Air and Pro. Keep in mind that I won't need to run VMs in this, as I have another new Windows PC fully loaded.

NEED
some sort of
"RUBBER DUCK DEBUGGING"
TOY.

Links please?

No more coding tonight. 10hrs straight today. 😴 My project can host images but the RESTful setup has fucked up my comments API to hell and back.

I think this senior thesis is one of those points where I seriously wonder if I made the wrong career choice. 🤯😬

Guys just wanna ask stuff..I recently just became interested with bitcoins and mining them(trying to earn without spending a cent)... I tried out nightminer py but it seems I can’t get this to work.. I prefer to run it on a cloud server... should I continue or shouldn’t please Identify the pros and cons so that I’d tally them and decide if I should pursue this...

Help me I'm rusting...

I am thinking about trying to get some work as a freelancer until I get my first full time job. I am thinking about smaller businesses who needs simple websites.
Any advice from anyone who did something similar? What should I look out for?

Two major releases this week in projects that I'm the sole developer. No big deal.

I thought this was gonna be so simple, now I'm going down an infinite rabbit hole of technology and concepts I have no idea what's for and zero clue of what I'm doing.

Oh god why... Why is it that every time I work with software defined radios, I keep on having to rely on not just incomplete, but at times misleading documentation 😩

Last time was GNU radio, with the doc telling me that I could define an input for a processing block using either a type or a (type, size) tupple, only for the actual code to scream at me in confusion upon my passing a tupple.
Now is that other SDR's SDK, which, as if being built upon eclipse wasn't bad enough, managed to make its serial communications confusing. Why can't you just let me set a callback to rx interrupts, you daft punks...

Why is it that when your making a perfect clients website he requests a really hard job 2 do, you do it, then they find something really cool on codepen.io and all your work is 4 nothing, I'm gonna start working for hours now.....

Who is doing this to me *sobs*, mongoose or MongoDB? 😥😥

I'm adding new records (array) to an embedded document, but the first record to be added gets duplicated, even with the same ID and stuff :(..

Was using Callbacks, switched to promises, still the same.

😥😥😥😥😥

What's so great about Linux? Should I switch over from Windows?

A tale as old as time:

Customer: "This is wrong in all these X places!?!?!?"

-screenshots, panic, etc.-

Many emails and clarifications later we find out it is wrong ... in just ONE place ... and it wasn't even one of their initial examples.

Customer: "Why does this take so long to fix???"

Bro....

I need help for a dev test.

So the company that I work at is hiring a couple of new devs and they’ve put me in charge for test in order to see if the applicants are any good.
When I was hired there were no tests so I don’t have that many ideas for a good one.

Have you guys any good recommendations for a test or what it could consist of?

I’m thinking of having multiple small tests so if one misunderstands the task it’s not the whole test they fail. Would that be a good idea or not?

It’s for senior and junior web developer.

Any idea is greatly appreciated 😀

PLEASE. Help me to find a good name for my function.

My function returns json or XML based on the accept header parameter.

🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Node Vs Ruby Vs Python