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Search - "world of idiots"
So lot of people ask me here what is Testing?
Well, I have decided to post about it instead of answering every request individually as it is tiresome. So here we go...
- Why to test?
Testing is breaking down a piece of code so that all the possible logical and functional errors can be detected while in development phase, so that the disaster can be prevented in production.
- How to test a piece of code/software?
There are various types of testing like unit, sanity/smoke, functional, regression, performance, security, penetration to name a few. Each has it's own significance and to know more you can Google/DDG them.
- What to test?
We can test any and everything. You can test code, UI, UX, speed of application, database flow, logical flow, functional flow, et cetera.
Testing is an attitude, not a skill. Cannot be taught but only developed by one ownself.
To be good at testing, one needs to have a good design and business sense, apart from technical and functional knowledge.
Many will say, to test one needs to think outside the box. Fuck that. There is no box. Everything is a sandbox and do whatever the fuck you want to, to break things.
Most importantly, thinking from other person's perspective is critical as this helps you think what can an user do with your software. Trust me, humans are idiots and can literally fuck your software doggy style and make you wonder why your code isn't working?
To build an idiot proof software, we need to think beyond human levels.
Never think the obvious. NEVER.
Always try what you think can never happen. System will break, I promise.
Finding loopholes is way easier than you think. Fixing them is surely a challenge.
Moreover, to survive in corporate world leaning the processes is important. The SDLC cycle is what makes a software great.
And today I realised that no role is stupid. Testing is looked down upon in my country. Possibly, IT is the only field where testing has least value as compared to other places like food testing or automobile crash testing et cetera.
And I, myself used to think support is a stupid job requiring no skills. But today I talked to a friend in support and realised that they have more technical skills than a tester.
Everyone is important and we shouldn't look down upon any person or role. Nobody is superior, nobody is inferior. We all are equal.
Together we shall work as a team and a great teamwork can achieve wonders.
Hope this helps. Thak you for reading and do provide your feedback as it shall help me improve.
P.S.: last week somebody tagged me to a new comer's post seeking advice for testing. I don't recollect that so please tag them here again. Thanks.
Edit: I feel like and I might have, missed out some points so please excuse me for that.21
all kinds of things:
2. Idiots working on WiFi firmware
3. Said idiots telling us that they found a compiler bug when a signed integer optimization screws their codes dependency on rollover. People like that shouldn’t be writing WiFi firmware.
5. Treating weapons of mass terror like machine learning like just a fun game to work on and then release open source
6. The fact that when assholes from all these companies like Facebook google and Amazon testify before Congress our political leaders are dumber than bricks when questioning them so they either a. Ask totally the wrong questions and people get off clean or b. When the witnesses do say something questionable is happening Congress doesn’t have the mental capacity to notice that something of concern was just said
7. despite the fact Linux has an easier to use UI than windows people bitch about how hard it is still
8. How defensive people are over their “own stuff.” “I like windows so if you say anything against it you’re insulting me” or “but I wrote this code you can’t refactor it that’s my mark!”
10. The fact that web assembly, though the superior technology, is going to become popular not because it’s fast but because it makes it harder to block ads and harder to read and analyze the code.
11. The fact that our obsession with web technologies has led to applications that are 10,000x less efficient than other alternatives, the carbon footprint of this is astonishing, and nobody cares. But they all want to save the environment. What?
12. The social disease of social media and how people have become addicted to a degree almost comparable to crack
13. People think being an influencer on Instagram is a real job.
14. People waste preposterous amounts of energy on crypto currency mining despite the fact that it doesn’t offer many real advantages over cold hard cash. It’s still trackable!!
15. Modern copyright law and how it’s been implemented in our web services that we use every day is insane; the music industry is a mafia and are using google as a club to beat us all down with. And google is fine with that.
16. All the music made today is fake and that’s done by leveraging all the “great” technology that (now defunct) digidesign avid and auto tune has brought to us
17. We design computers and software for the stupidest users that easily fall prey to all these things rather than the average person.
18. The Boeing 737 crashes are software related. That means some idiot fucked up and a bunch of people died. Need I say more?
The world will end some day and it will be because of software. You either accept that fact or live in denial.
My dev friend just got an angry call from a customer of theirs, because the product has a black and whitelist option and that's "racist".
Now, I wanted to stay out of this debate, but this is to much.
SO ALL OF YOU COCKSUCKING, MORONIC S"J"Ws, FUCK YOU!
GO AND PUSH A PISTOL UP YOUR ASS, AND PULL THAT TRIGGER. PULL IT HARD, JUST LIKE YOU SHOULD SUCK DICKS( BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY THING IDIOTS LIKE YOU ARE GOOD FOR). THEN YOU'LL STAY OUT OF THE TECH WORLD!11
CS graduates that have never gone beyond "Hello World", fuck college and it's "system".
So the actual victims of the story are friends of mine, CS colleagues, but I can't help but share as the existence of code freeloaders enfuriates me.
At college in order to graduate you need to present a project in form of a thesis a side from your actual thesis, there is a shortage of pre-approved projects and everyone wants one.
A talented friend of mine who has many years of programming experience got in one with another friend of mine and a lady who I've never seen before. One Saturday night my friend and I were having some beers at a local bar and his phone didn't stop beeping so I jokingly said:
"Bro, tell your girl you need some space", he laughed and explained it was the chick from her project having some "issues" with node.
"So? Tell her to google it, it's Saturday night", he explained the girl has never coded before even though she's about to graduate so she had take it upon herself to pressure him to finish ASAP so she can graduate and get an already agreed position at the federal energy commission... As dev!
I've seen my bud in a lot of dumb calls with said chick trying to explain how you CAN'T COMPILE THE NODE WEBSERVER TO A .EXE!
It frustrated me how such an idiot can go through a CS major buying homeworks and getting low self-esteem geeks to code for her. Then I realized that as an aspiring InfoSec guy, lazy idiots coding is good for business.8
I fucking hate people who tell me what i should do when they obviously dont know a fucking inch of anything related to the dev world fucking idiots ruining my day with fucking retarded orders.
I AM THE DEV UR THE FUCKING MANAGER STAY AT UR FUCKING PLACE3
Paranoid thought: You know, in the course of every day, being the corrupt piece of shit that I am, whenever I see a scandal or what looks like shenanigans-in-the-making, I ask myself
"Wisecrack, is this a fucking scam or con of some sort?"
Not the language per se, but the ecosystem.
I noticed how there are a thousand CLIs for simple shit. Another four thousand for page long libraries, for simpleton level shit (because prototypes are designed after satans own aborted love-child of object models). I noticed another eight thousand guys imitating steve jobs, talking at conferences and 'change the world' high-on-huffing-my-own-shit TEDX talks like rubyists that don't realize the world has moved on, all to hawk books and inflate CVs for cushy positions at major tech firms and the herd of dicksuckers following the next fad off a cliff like lemmings. And another eight thousand 'tech journalists' pushing them off the cliff while begging for outrage and hype dollars and slowly circling like vultures above the drain that is the ad-based economy.
And I thought to myself.
"Wisecrack, who benefits from all this noisy self-indulgent horseshit? Where is all the money coming from for all these books, conferences, meetings, publications, media, bread, and circuses?"
"I don't know wisecrack. But if I were the CEO of a big company, threatened by the prospect of a universal language, or universal platform, like flash, but one I couldn't kill like flash, I would try to do the most corrupt thing I could think of."
"Whats that wisecrack?"
"I would try to 'overheat' the ecosystem by selectively hiring people from that ecosystem, pumping money into a boatload of similar products, all in the hopes of provoking the equivalent of an immune overreaction, imitators all flooding the ecosystem with the same shit in different packages, self promoting sycophants, aggrenadizing social media idiots, tools sold as tools, hyped as 'the next coming of steve jobs', overcooked shit that focuses on ceremony over functionality, ritual over productivity, documentation over innovation like some sort of amazonion infinite nesting doll hellscape of documents linking to documents linking to documents, each one a new circle of dantes inferno, where the definition of anything links to another document that says "see also xyz", and I would convince them that they had done it to themselves."
And then I would push typescript as their lord, savior, and master. "
"How do you know all this wisecrack?"
"Because I am a piece of shit, and, this is what I would do in any executive's shoes."12
So I got an e-mail from a recruiter (a.k.a. recruiter spam) today looking for a candidate with four "essential skills" and my head almost exploded when I read what they were. I have regained my composure just enough to be able to write this rant, but I'm still not myself. I recommend sitting down for this. Are you ready?
The four "essential skills" were:
Java, Jenkins, Eclipse, IntelliJ
I don't know where to begin. Motherfucker, where do you get off telling me which IDE to use? Oh wait, you didn't, you expected me to be an "expert" with two completely different ones, you numb nuts. Why the fuck would I be? I swear to fuck these idiots would probably screen out the best programmer in the world because s/he uses VI/emacs/Atom/Sublime/fucking-Notepad.
I can hear them saying "oh, you don't know IntelliJ? Sorry, we need an expert in that."
Fuck off you filthy cunt! No, sorry, I take that back, I shouldn't be mean to the mentally disabled.
Also, Jenkins? Really? Any developer can pick up how to use Jenkins to its full effect in a matter of hours, or a couple of days at most.
Why do companies hire these jackasses to do a job as important as recruitment? Why do they write job specs that are so incredibly stupid? I almost replied to express interest so I could go to the interview and throw a bucket of red paint on them (because they're making me bleed inside).
Where's the Tylenol?5
So, I'm investigating this flipping problem at work involving mbeans. Other than the fact that it's a fun fucking word to say, idk a damn thing about it, and the people who are having problems with them/it are looking at me like I'm a fucking pregnant triceratops... HOW THE HELL am I supposed to fix your shit if you aren't going to tell me why you need mbeans, what you do to cause the error, and what you do to make it go away. YOU'RE GIVING ME LESS THAN NOTHING... on a temperature scale, we're in negative Kelvin...
Also, anyone know what in the world an mbean in? Because right now, these overpaid idiots are making me think it's not a thing and just another way of saying "coffee"10
Sometimes I get so frustrated dealing with people.
I really wish the end of the world would come in my lifetime.
Even if I was amoung the 85-90% that perished, it would be worth it to see most of humanity perish as well.
I hope the survivors would build an actual tolerable world.
I just hope the survivors aren't politicians or idiots.7
TLDR: Read the post.
Bare with me here, I am new to all of this jazz. But I wanted to tell a story.
I have been a programmer for a while now, working on various projects with various companies, doing various things. I know that sounds vague, but it's the truth.
I never work on the same thing, ever, I never work with any fancy IDE, because I don't need one. I personally believe no developer works with the massive huge code base all at once, but instead works on it in pieces. That's a story for another day.
I have seen the shittiest of the shittiest and some how survived, I have been beaten down by code bases that were out sourced yet some how managed to stand up and gain my baring and fight back. I have dealt with clients, bosses and idiots from A-Z. Watching them all scramble around for their pennies like greedy rich white men seeking more pennies to swim in.
Some how I survived all this. I started working from home almost 3 years ago, the freedom is exhilarating. The ability to fuck off for most of the day and work at night, or work all morning and fuck off. There's nothing better.
As you work from home you think, this will be amazing. Until the crippling loneliness takes over and even the 6th bottle of beer doesn't quench the thirst of human contact. The pain of being trapped in the four white walls of your office makes that bottle of tequila, to numb out the emptiness inside look more satisfying.
At some point, you crawl out of your space to find people to interact with, refusing to be beaten down by both shit code and loneliness only to find all your friends, family and significant others are working, in offices, where they cant just fuck off for a day with you. The silence of the house, the office, the what ever becomes deafening.
its crawling all over you like bugs that pick away at your mind, breaking you, hating you. So you decide that a coffee shop is the best place, only to sit there and people watch or check Facebook or what ever else people do at coffee shops that isn't actually work.
The point in all of this, is that working from home is both a positive and a negative. It has destroyed me, created a workaholic and, probably, an alcoholic. There isnt a day I dont wish that I could sleep away the deafening silence of the world around me as every one busies off to the office.
One might think: get an office job, but I have become accustomed to my misery, pain and suffering of working from home, isolated and medicated by vaping and alcohol. the freedom, from what I have found, is worth more then the sacrifice of it - to work around people I slowly begin to hate, people that make me want to overdose on anything rather then see their smug faces and be beaten down by their idiotic words, code bases and money grubbing hands...
I guess I'll get back to work now, in my house, with my cats, my vape and my beer. Here's to freedom and the sacrifices that go along with it.5
Don't you just hate ignorance of others? I sure do. Don't you just hate when you try to tell someone something, but the person on the receiving end is like "Well, it's not my job, so I cannot relate, so I am not going to listen to you at all."
Now, let's talk about a little thing called PRIVACY. Whenever people ask me "Why do you not use Google Chrome, but you use firefox instead?" I always answer "Because it does not compromise your online privacy as much." But, those idiots never listen. The same goes with me being in favor of Unix-like systems such as MacOS and Linux. But they for some idiotic reason do not care for online privacy. They go for the "convenience". I know Google uses the data it collects to "help" you find better results. But the problem is is that you do not get a say in the choice that the algorithm chooses. Also, I know Google might say "Oh, we never look at your files and your information," and it is indeed true that most of the time when you try to research about the cons of Google using Google, only the pros of Google will pop up. Now, if I go onto DuckDuckGo or Bing or even Yahoo!, the results are going to be quite different. I have been using Gmail since about 2011. I have not switched because mainly of Youtube and because I have been using it for so long. True I have two other accounts, which are AOL and Hotmail, but I barely use them, and when I will be 100% concerned about my privacy, I am probably going to switch to AOL.
You might think that it is hypocritical of me to use Gmail, but have you ever tried switching from an email address that you have been using for years? It is hard. So I do the next good thing, and encrypt my emails whenever possible (GOD BLESS PGP). I know Google says that it itself encrypts the Emails itself, but, how can I trust such an advertisement monopoly? I mean, the encryption means nothing if they have the secret key, if needed, they'll just decrypt my email and read the fucking thing. That's why I have my own set of Public and Private keys, and I recommend you too encrypt your Emails, especially any sensitive data that you ever send. I am also buying a web camera cover, because I really do not trust the folks at the NSA and the CIA and all other 3 letter government agencies. But people always tell me "But how can I be significant to the government, I have nothing to hide," which is a fucking lie, EVERYONE HAS GOT SOMETHING TO HIDE.There cannot be freedom of speech if the government constantly sees what you're saying. I wish there were more people in the world like Snowden :/4
Fucking shit for brains authors that think the digital world is a fantasy realm where everything can happen just to aid their story. Out of boredom i watched "scorpion" today, a tv series about a group of geniusses which are a special case task force.
They got a visitor from the government saying the servers from the federal reserve bank were encrypted with ransomware. I already twitched when they said the economic system would collapse if the servers were left inoperational for a few days. Then one guy got to his desk and "hacked" the fed network to check... he then tried to remove the malware but "it changed itself when observed". But they got the magical fingerprint of the device that uploaded it. In the end some non-programmers created the malware, but it is super fast and dangerous because it runs on a quantum computer which makes it hyper fast and dangerous. They got to the quantum computer which was a glowing cube inside another cube with lasers going into it and they had to use mirrors to divert the lasers to slow down that quantum thingy. And be careful with that, otherwise it explodes. In the end the anti-malware battled the malware and won, all in a matter of minutes.
This is a multimillion hollywood production. How can a movie this abusive to computer science even air on television? Shit like this is the reason people still think the cyberworld is some instable thing that can explode any second. It's not, it's an instable thing that can break down any second. I remember "ghost in the wires" and people had surreal imaginations about the internet already. Shit like this is why people stay dumb and think everything can be done in seconds. If i ever should encounter one of these idiots i tell him i have an app that can publish his browser history by taking a picture of his phone and watch his reaction.
Time to shuw down the tv and learn vim again.11
Here's a hypothetical scenario: what if all web-developers in the world united and collectively decided to act as if there are no other browsers except Firefox and Chrome?
I know I do. Of course, everything I ever made targeted younger audiences, so only idiots, Apple fanboys and the ocassional Opera user used anything else...11
I am SOOO fucking sick of being asked if our website and gaming servers are going to be GDPR compliant. All these game owners in a panic changing everything they do just to conform to this law.
Fuck GDPR. In all reality COME AT ME BITCH. The EU wants to grow a pair of balls and act like the world internet police? Bring it the FUCK on. You can't even stop pirating in your own country, so how the FUCK are you going to regulate and enforce this law on HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of servers, when your punk ass government can't even shutdown a single torrenting website.
Give me a fucking break, and shame on you pussies for allowing it. All you people running around scared acting like your private gaming servers are important. I give a shit less how much work you put into your server. I have put more work than most anyone else, but you don't see me trying to act self important as if my gaming server is some fortune 500 company.
Your server isn't important and neither are you. The government doesn't give a shit about your server so can we all just stop acting like this fucking matters. NO ONE FUCKING CARES ABOUT YOUR SERVER.
NO ONE is going to come and sue you for not complying. GDPR is for business, and anyone that wants to argue no look it says right here it applies to all is a fucking MORON. Do you idiots stop and think or do you just believe everything typed out on paper.
THEY CANT ENFORCE THIS ON EVERYONE. They don't have the resources. So use your fucking heads and stop being so fucking scared of a law that has no resources to stop you. THEY CAN"T DO ANYTHING. EU and whoever made their polices, I DARE them to try and touch my server, I WANT them to start something with me, just so I can show the rest of the world why the Internet is still the wild west and why they have no power over me.
You think pirate bay is the only one who knows how to hide their server? You think pirate bay is the only one who keeps backups of their server to be able to re release in an instant somewhere else in the world? Bitch get real this is the internet, a place where a 5 year old can buy hand grenades from the Red Silk Road, and you wanna talk to me about your privacy? Go fuck yourself.
It's not my problem some douche bag went onto a site that used his personal information in the wrong manner. So how about you do what everyone else does and browse ANONYMOUSLY. But no it would be to easy for governments to make their own citizens responsible. Instead they have to hold all of YOUR hands, because you people are to stupid to protect yourself.
Wake the fuck up world, and stop being a bunch of whining little brats who cry for the government to bubble wrap your world so you can live safer. Natural selection is long overdue for a lot of morons still breathing air.20
I just talked to Skype support...
Skype is down for 80% of users, world wide...
It's been 5 hours already. Idiots.5
If not for the few talented and understanding individuals who haven't decided to kill themselves because of the idiocy in this world, our species would have ended years ago with idiots just progressively introducing stupider and stupider ideas.
TLDR: Read the post.
Part of me watches the day fly by as I work through the various stories and issues my company has as we walk through the various phases and clean up of their own stupidity of outsourcing. I guess it would be unfair to say “stupidity” It was really a money thing. Excuses aside, the alcohol today tastes amazing as I work through the issues, nothing is ever the same, nothing is ever redundant or boring. There are times where you want to pull your hair out, jump off a building and question why the hell any one would write code, specifically Laravel this way.
I watch the internet from now and then and see the cry babies whine and complain about GitHub and Microsoft jumping into bed and their favourite, and mine too, editor falling into Microsoft’s hands.
It’s disgusting and completely childish, but I digress. The last time I was here the alcoholism and the loneliness had begun pushing me towards the Nicotine and suicide. I have managed to obviously push through and watch the money come in only for adult life to take it away, I guess that’s life. Complaining about it will do nothing other then show others how much control you lack in your own life. You quiet your complaints and bury them deep inside your mind where they fester and stir and become drowned in alcohol.
Dating is even harder, especially when you work from home, so much so that I have completely given up there, any semblance of social life is buried in Final Fantasy 14 online, where pixels and text other people write have become my friend, at least for a moment or two before the work takes over and I sit in a room blaring music and watching the code I write, appear on screen like some savant who has high functioning autism but can create amazing works of art. I don’t think I am autistic though.
The truth is I don’t mind my job, I love the money and the freedom as I stated before.
Code for me is like a seed of anger that starts deep in my core, festering, eating away at me, killing me slowly and branding me a fool. The problem is the best feeling, when there is a problem I can solve it with code, when there is a problem that cannot be solved by code I take solace in the problems that can be. I don’t like people, I hate offices and I despise dealing with my own personal issues, I would rather drink and vape until the nicotine and the alcohol has made me sufficiently numb.
Code is a place I can escape, a place I have control, a place where I don’t feel like blowing my brains out at the stupidity of other people. Have I mentioned that I hate people?
The internet is full of idiots, people ranting and raving about this and that and how it affects them oh so much, when they don’t even let their own code, there own programming problems, and in most cases shitty solutions, affect them. Look at this GitHub thing, the idiots are running around with their heads cut off, waiting for the world to end or in most cases acting like it has. Companies get bought, bill get paid, people leave each other – Shut the fuck up and deal with it.
I guess if you look back at what I have written you could say the same thing to me, boo-fucking-hoo working from home sucks sometimes, grow up and deal with it like an adult. Fair enough, I’ll take my lumps. Excuse me as I continue to drink this post away and watch the downvotes come in. I guess honesty comes with a double edge sword.
And yes I would rather use alcohol as a solution then deal with the issues.16
1. Like solving and exploring how things are made/done, I want challenges
2. Can work from home, or any place in the world
3. I don't have to deal with idiots around me
4. Bonus: Money is good of course.
Documenting your code is like raising a child in a world full of idiots. If the parenting is not done right then your code will be as stupid as the world.
I think my least favorite thing to do is idiot-proofing. I wish I lived in a perfect world where people that used my software weren't idiots. But then again StackOverFlow thrives premise of me being an idiot. So... Yah.2