I hired a guy on upwork. His english is shit. But hes done the work correctly. Fast forward today he asked me "off topic question but do u have any female friend who can accompany me to fuck?"

WTF IS THIS SHIT

That is not professional AT ALL. I dont give a shit about the fact he cant get no bitches so hes begging me as if im some kind of a pimp. On upwork?? Gtfo.

Now i understand why companies want to hire only people with college DEGREES because they have went through the process of conforming and dont ask stupid shit questions. Eliminates a lot of bullshit and Neanderthals like this guy

Ffs

I've missed you all.

Current PM in the morning: "Startup flexibility! I'm at the beach chilling in the sun! I trust you can do standup without me! #tech-detox #positive-energy"

Current PM in the afternoon: "ARE ALL THE FUCKING TASKS FUCKING DONE YET? THERE ARE ONLY 9 DAYS LEFT IN THE FUCKING SPRINT! WHY HAS NOTHING BEEN DEPLOYED YET?"

This is why I hate wireless earbuds: You don't have a wire available for strangling coworkers.

Our app navigation graph looks like this

!!rant
!!ANGER

Micromanager: "Hey, Root!

Since you're back, and still not feeling well, we have an easy ticket for you: Rewrite the slack integration gem! Oh, you don't have to re-implement all of it, just make sure it all works the same way it does now. That bitch you worked with once over a year ago who kept throwing you under the bus to management and stealing credit for your work? Yeah, she wrote the original code like four years ago. It's perfect, so don't touch it. but she can fill you in on all the details you need and get you up to speed on how to test it.

But yep! It should be simple. and I just knew you would love this ticket, so I saved it just for you. Nice and quick, too, to get you an easy win.

You know, since you have to repair your reputation with product. and management. and the execs. and the rest of the team. and me. Yeah, product doesn't trust you so they don't want to give you any tickets. They just can't trust you to get them out and have them work. So you have a lot of hard work to do."

Spoiler: The bus-thrower wasn't much help. (Surprise.)
Spoiler: The ticket was already in my backlog -- one of a grand total of two tickets.
Spoiler: I don't find the ticket fun. Maybe if I was to write the entire implementation with a nice DSL? but no, "don't touch the perfect code." Fuck you.
Spoiler: It isn't going to be nice or quick. But, she (micromanager) is looking to lose me, so that really is an easy win. for her.

And. just. argh. fuck you. i've been exhausted and dying for well over a year, but you've kept ignoring that (and still are, despite me providing goddamn legal forms from fucking doctors stating it in plain fucking english, which you also fucking ignore), and you just keep piling on the work and demanding the ridiculous of me despite it. Yeah I can pull it off sometimes. No, I really shouldn't, and I'm surprised I can. (also, "Time off? What, and lower your productivity even more? ____ doesn't even take vacations. And how are you doing on that ticket?") And no, none of my tickets have ever had any fucking problems. Not even when there are upstream service outages. Not. a. single. fucking. one. Ever. And the only things I've ever missed were things that bloody product never put in the fucking ticket, so fuck you with your "repair your reputation" bullshit.

god, i fuckiNG HATE THESESTUPOID ANWETLJAF SAJEWTKW BITCHFACEDUCKFUCKERS

Why the FUCK am I still fucking working here?
Right, because I've been burned out and dying so much I can't pass a fucking interview so I can fucking leave.

jasdkl;fk

ugh. Anyway. If you ever find yourself starting work at a Cali fintech company whose internal mascot is a very fine duck? Just run. I absolutely guarantee you will be miserable.

So that's what shopee is doing....

Ahh, Unity’s “Wheel Joint.” Who knew it had “polarity.” I spent good several f*<king hours debugging this $h!+ just to find out I just placed them backwards on a 2-D car. Instead of the joint turning the wheels, they were trying to “turn the chassis.”
This meant the chassis received an impossible force which would rip it in half in real life. Of course, this was a unity game, so what happened instead was the physics engine flipping out which sent the car into the air!
I guess it was good for some lulz, but it took way too long to debug. I guess it’s time to take a little time off of that project.

Hey, Root? How do you test your slow query ticket, again? I didn't bother reading the giant green "Testing notes:" box on the ticket. Yeah, could you explain it while I don't bother to listen and talk over you? Thanks.

And later:
Hey Root. I'm the DBA. Could you explain exactly what you're doing in this ticket, because i can't understand it. What are these new columns? Where is the new query? What are you doing? And why? Oh, the ticket? Yeah, I didn't bother to read it. There was too much text filled with things like implementation details, query optimization findings, overall benchmarking results, the purpose of the new columns, and i just couldn't care enough to read any of that. Yeah, I also don't know how to find the query it's running now. Yep, have complete access to the console and DB and query log. Still can't figure it out.

And later:

Hey Root. We pulled your urgent fix ticket from the release. You know, the one that SysOps and Data and even execs have been demanding? The one you finished three months ago? Yep, the problem is still taking down production every week or so, but we just can't verify that your fix is good enough. Even though the changes are pretty minimal, you've said it's 8x faster, and provided benchmark findings, we just ... don't know how to get the query it's running out of the code. or how check the query logs to find it. So. we just don't know if it's good enough.

Also, we goofed up when deploying and the testing database is gone, so now we can't test it since there are no records. Nevermind that you provided snippets to remedy exactly scenario in the ticket description you wrote three months ago.

And later:

Hey Root: Why did you take so long on this ticket? It has sat for so long now that someone else filed a ticket for it, with investigation findings. You know it's bringing down production, and it's kind of urgent. Maybe you should have prioritized it more, or written up better notes. You really need to communicate better. This is why we can't trust you to get things out.

*twitchy smile*

!rant

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FOUR DAYS ‘TIL CLOSING!

I’M GOING TO OWN A HOUSE!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

!dev
This is what happened in my country.

I think my days as a dev are over
shit fuck!!!!
All i know is writing code, schematics, systems recommendations
Was given a tender doc for a project
the doc was in 2 parts "Technical" & "Financial"
I HAVE NEVER DONE A TENDER BEFORE and little did i know a shit load of documents are required
MY BOSS GOT FURIUS SINCE I DIDNT COMPILE ALL DOCS and 1 required doc was expired tried to get it renewed and renewal will take 3 week or 1 month and deadline was in 2 hours time
FUCK!!!!

F U C K M E ! ! ! ! !

Well today was a good day, after getting fired from my last job I got awarded in my current one. feels good to be appreciated 🙂

Everyone that says you can't get viruses in Linux because only .exe compiled programs can contain malicious code or some bullshit like this is a fucking retarded

Sorry I had to say it

Copilot Copilot Copilot. Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot .

Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot,Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot. Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot.

Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot, Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot.

Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot.

Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot.

Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot C̴̪̀́͜o̷̼̠̠̙͐̿p̶̼̠͝i̷̡͋ĺ̸͚͔ō̷̥̃̀t̵̮͑ ̵͓̜̥͝C̶͖̯̋͑ó̸̖́p̵͓̣͂͝i̵͈̅̔̔l̶̤͔̲̀̒o̴͙̳͓̟̓͋ṭ̶̌̍ ̶͙̜̂̕C̵̡̖̥̑͋̕ͅo̷͎͈͕̝̒͒̓̃p̴̢̒͐i̴͈̳̥͑̂͜l̵̨͕̝̏͆́o̸͖̲̝̅̇̽̚t̷͙͠ ̴̮̪͚̔C̸̨͑̑͊o̵͕̘̝̭̿̑p̵͉̯͙̈̐i̴̺̖̻͑̀͝l̵̛̫̂̉o̸͕͈̭̣͌̉̍t̵͈͇͊͝ ̶̧̇͊C̶͜͠ő̶̯̍̑p̴̡͕̩̲̉̿͊͒ì̷̪͇l̴͔̜̈̾̓ŏ̷̟̠͚̟̽̒ť̷̰͆̎̅ ̴̣̦̯̰͊C̸̢̥̖̐ơ̵̩̤̝̈́͐p̶͈̹̀i̷̳̰̅̍͆̾l̶̛͕͜͠ō̶̩̫̔t̵̻̖͎͑̀̒ ̵̰͛̐C̵̗̠̘̰͆̂͋ő̷̻p̵̱̲̏̽i̵̡͖͚̾ͅl̷͔̣̓̏o̷̻̬̱͖͗͒̍ ̷̣̳̗͚͉̭̬̣̬͖̯̠͎̩͇̃́̀̍̍̾̀̃̓͂ͅC̶̨̗͉̄̾̈́͌̌̽̆̒̈́̿͗o̴͋̆̌̓̋ ̴̨̪̲͈̣̳̺̙̬̘͉̗̹̥͙̋̐͋͠͝ͅC̸̡̨̢̥̟̘͕͉̱̦͍̬͉̰̈̔̍̓̍̽͂̈͆̓̚͜͜ͅo̶͇͔̹̅̽p̶̛̙̮̣̮̪͂̾̑̔̚ͅį̵̢̝͍̯̼̯͖̝̞̬͉͍̱̗̋͂̉̀̽̽̃͑͘ͅl̷̡̢̦̤͉̘̗͉̦̪̮͆́́̊̽̈́̾͊̑̋̃̚̕͜o̷̻̯̣̯̰̳̩̮͚͂̃̏̇ț̷̠̳̲̖̭̲̺̻̱̘͚͑́͜͜ ̴̻̙̏̊̓̌́̕ͅC̸̨̧̞̱͔̼͓͕͔͖̙̀͒͆͜͜o̷̡̊p̴̦̹͙̻͖͚̤̲̏̃̐͛͐̈́͌́͜ỉ̵̤̣̟̬̌̃̽̏̉͛̃͂̀̽̀̈́̚͝l̸̖͇̟͙̭̳̦̺̭̼̣̰̈́̐̽́̉̂̈̋̂̉̍̅ó̴̯͓̭̮̻̂͆͒̂̽̐́̈́͜͝t̴͍͎̃͌́̽̈́̈́́̕̚͠͝͝ ̸̛̹̩̮͉̗̝̺̫̩̉́̀̅͛͋͑̄̾̌̒̏̈̚͠C̸̡̟͈̮͕̼̝͔̟̯̱͚̭̘̆͒̚̕ò̷̧̜̺̪̯̙̲̠́p̷̞̺̝̘̮̗̖̟̦͔͖̩͙̣̘͛̊̾͌̇̅͜ͅi̷̡̠̳̯͈̎̈́̐̓͒͐͋̇͋̉̑͠l̷̥̞͍̈́̿͆̾̍͘o̷̧̢̞̺̫̝̦̤͆͌̾͆̑̀͝t̷̢̟͚̦̐̎̍̆͘͝ ̷̧̹͉̙͓͙̘͔̮͓̜̰̯͙̘̈́̆̀̿͠F̶̗͗̍̌̊͋̀̀͊û̸̢͓̯̣͔͒c̴̢̛̼̬͇̤̹̠̘͑̆͜ͅk̸̨͉̟̠̙͔͖̊̒̾̋̎̈́́̏̈́͜ ̷̨̻͍͚͙͉̝̥͔̽̓̊́̓̏͘̕̕ͅF̸̻̘̣͉̰͎̮̩̖̄̀̌͌͗͌͝ư̴̧̨̧̪͎̺̲̣̞̓̈́͐̈́̇͠ͅċ̷͈̪̏͆̇k̷̫̖̎̋͒̉͗̔̔͠ ̷̧͎̝̥̪́͑͛͊F̵̭͍̩͉̞̲̅͋͗̀̎̽̚u̵̹͗̈́̀c̵͇̣̯̖̓̾̍̅̇͑̅̚̚̚k̸͈̯̖͎̫̐̓͛͑̓̓̾͊͝ ̸̰̳̦̮̖̠̥̘̭͛̑͂́̀F̵̡̲͓͎͓͇͉̲̋̅̀͆͝u̸͔̘̠̬̝͇̗͠ͅc̵̘̞̳͌͠k̴̩̻͖̍͒̆͂̓͆͗͛͗̚ ̸̬̖̉̈́̚F̸̫͎̺͛̉̔͂͜u̶̝̙͉͍͔̻͔̫̠̇̿̄c̷͙̝̳̥̙̆̉̀k̷̡̰̻͎̈͒͊̓͂̓̒ ̴̝͉̪̝̜̤͇̖͒̏͜F̶̡̢̱͉͕̱͖̭̤̯̈̐̒̀͊ų̸̩͓̦̱̝͋͑ç̴̛͙̬̫̗̎̂̓̍͑͆͝k̴̡͔̞͚͕̟͇̬͖̾͊̄ͅ ̵̳̱̝̖̳͚̗̰̎̃͑͌̈͐̕ͅF̷͔̮̘̙̞̭͊̃̎͝ų̷̒̓̇̈̑̋̑͝c̷̻̭̘̰̠̽͘͘k̵̨̲̥̳͐̒̌̇͆̽̿̕͠ ̴̫̽̄͆͘F̵̧̊̅͐̌̀͗̓̈́̚u̵͉̭̤͎̳̲̗̐̃̿͆̀c̵̦͕̳̥͕͉̑͜͠ͅk̶̯̝͚̲̙̞̖̣̀̈́͆̈̕͝ ̸̡̢̩̖̮̻̤̣͚̈́̋F̶̺͎̜̪͔̄̿͊͘͝͝͠ų̸̧͔̬͔̟̪̒̉͘̕̚͝ͅc̵̥͖͓͔͍̙̩̟͆̊͒̆́̈́̍͝͠ķ̶̛̮̩̖̇͘ ̴̨͎͉̩̱̲̲̭̅́̐̃́́̇F̴̨̺́̓̐̈́̿̌̉͝͝͠u̸̲̼̗̬̼̰͛͌̋̌̉̽̊̓̊͐ć̴̨̳̹̥͛̐̓̋̓͝͝ͅk̴͍̟̼̆́̓́̓̽̂̀̅̉ ̷̧͍̬̭͚̹̔͋͘͠F̴̨̛̝͉͉̜͕̣̹̃̑͛́̏͛̕u̴̟̪͂̈́̀̀̑̏̿ç̷̨͎̺̼̬̳̀̊̊̇͒̈͐̋͘k̵̛̼̺̞͉͕̔̈͒̓͋̅͆̾ ̵̙̭̪̯̮̆̿̂̓̏́̅̕͜͝ͅF̷͚̻̩̹͎̪͔̺̟̓͋̂͒͑͑͂̍̚u̴̪̮͂̓̏͗͆̽͆͛͑ç̵͍͇̻͙̀̿ͅk̵̨̝̬̈́̿̽͆̽͠ ̷̨̱̜̮͖̗̫̣̅͐͊̑͗̌̈̿F̵̨̦̹͎̃̆̑u̶̬̪͓̣̟̒̓̈̄͊̈́̄̐̂͜͝c̶͎̦̳͉͚̪̣̣̺̄̀̃̔k̶͇̯̥̙͎̮͓̖̅̇̎̉ ̸̛̜̹̼̉͌F̷̖̜̫̳̫̳͇̾́̂̋̚ͅu̴͓̟̐̑̕c̸͉̩̦̟͕͔̀̏̊ḱ̸͈̥̪̜̓̾̽̄͒͛ͅ ̶̛̻̃̈́̋̄͐̄F̵̮̺̟̃̇͆̀͂̉̓̐u̵̢̡̖̠̗̺̺̞̒c̴̢̧̠͉̻͈͚͔͛͑͝͝k̴̛̮̙͓̪̱͕̩͍͔͒͗̌̓̅͝ͅ ̵̰̲̪̤͉̜̗̺̏͌̆̌̇͛̚͜

!rant

AHHHHHHHH I MADE AN OFFER ON A HOUSE

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THEY ACCEPTED

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH INSPECTION DIDN’T TURN UP ANYTHING HORRIBLE

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I just quit btw

cooking my eggs on android studio today

Love you too Lua

Recruiter: Your skills are amazing! There's hight demand! massive shortage! the market is hot!

Me: great

Recruiter: But your rate is too high.

Me: ....

Haha nice!!

Manager: You can’t define an async function without using await.

Dev: Yes you can.

Manager: Well you shouldn’t, there’s no point!

Dev: Yes there is. It can turn blocking synchronous logic into work performed concurrently. In this case the perform—

Manager: It’s called async *await*. Async *AWAIT*! Did you hear the two parts to that? You shouldn’t ever have one without the other. THEY GO TOGETHER. Worrying about concurrency is for people who use callbacks which just goes to show how out of date your skills are. I’m reading a book on javascript and there are so many advanced techniques out there that I haven’t even seen you use ONCE!

Dev: …

*I looked at the book he’s reading, it’s from the < ES6 era… no wonder he doesn’t see me using any of those archaic patterns/hacks/workarounds…*

My entire job.

Say Fuck You more often.

In the future, corporate articles will be auto-generated.

Oh you're a frontend guy? Good, we need one of those.

Oh you're a backend guy too? Good, we need one of those.

Oh you're a security guy too? Good, we need one of those.

Oh you're a devops guy too? Good, we need one of those.

Oh you're a QA guy too? Good, we need one of those.

Oh you're an SEO guy too? Good, we need one of those.

"Well, sorry to say fullStackCraft, but we found your cloud architecture skills just a little too lacking for this position. We really need someone who can do frontend, backend, security audits, QA assessments, SEO, AND build scaling cloud architecture. Oh and while you're at it, can you turn fucking water into gold? We need that at our company too. You didn't get the position, but it'd be great if you could refer us to someone who is very advanced in fucking alchemy. Thanks!"

Absolutely toxic the way software people are treated I swear. The money may be the only good thing that is left.

My output of 5 hours of work: changing a 'b' to a 'B'.

5 hours working out what the stupid cryptic error message means and reading documentation, 5 minutes to change and test the difference.

Got a mail from a recruiter.... offering me a role in a company......where I'm currently working....in the said role.

AI applications:

We all know how AI is going to be powerful and drive the world in future. But I don't see any real world applications which can be developed using AI. If you know any real world applications please share here.

For eg. Traffic signals automatically managed by AI as per actual traffic?

Linux is just better init.

FUCK WEB3, FUCK CRYPTO, FUCK NFTS, FUCK ALL THIS PONZI ASS BIG BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU WHOEVER MADE THJS!!!! THE ONLY ONES WHO PROFIT ARE NOT THE ONES WHO BUY CRYPTO OR JPEGS BUT THE ONES ON TOP OF THIS PYRAMID WHO CREATED IT!!!!! MIGHT AS WELL CODE MY OWN PYRAMID COIN/JPEG AND SELL IT TO SUCKERS!!!!!!!! FCKK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!