Not sure if I visited an ads website or a blog .-.

They lack inventory management

My friend (not in CS) said his computer was a bit slow.
I told him I'd fix that for 10, he agreed.

I increased the cursor speed.
He bought it.

XD
Agreed

Me: buys gaming laptop.
Me: plays Age of Empires II

How developers deal with someone else's code!
Fixing bugs after bugs and it goes on.

Great timing

Warnings are red
My screen is blue
I think I just deleted
System32

Poor things!

Management : "How long you think it would take?"

Me : "now this is a rough estimate, but I think building the back-end and database alone could take 6-months minimum"

Management : "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS"

me : "its a big proj..."

Management : "I thought it will be something like 10 days, already told the client it can be done"

me : "but we are not ready"

Management : "how are we not ready? we already have the virtual 3D shop, and we can use this ready-to-deploy eCommerce service as our data base "
... "you need to figure this out, this is not acceptable" he continued

* 2 Days Later -talking to my direct boss *
Boss : "since you don't know how to do it..."

me : "what ? I didn't say I can't do it, all I said it will take six months"

Boss : "yeah yeah, anyway there is this studio, a professional polish studio, we called them and they can do it, we will sign a contract with them, this will let you focus on the front-end. good?"

me : "well alright then"

Boss : "please write a doc, explaining everything needed from the backend"
-to me that was the end of it, took a long time to tell me they made the deal-

* 5 Months later *
- "Abdu, can you come here for a minute..."
- "yes boss?"
- "the document we asked you to do for the Polish studio, did you specify that we needed an integration with the API we are using for eCommerce?"

scared to death I answered : "why of course I did!"
I ran to my PC to check it out because I didn't know, I forgot because no one even comment on my doc. I check it out, and it was clearly explained... I got relaxed...

turns out they didn't even do what we asked them for. took them 5 months, and with no communication whatsoever. all their work was useless to us. complete dump waste.

----------------
never mentioned this until a year later... in a heat of moment when they were asking me to make an impossible task with no men and no time... I reminded them of this story... management didn't like it. but it was the truth. they didnt push this crazily this time

“If everyone is admin, no one is admin and this is communism” - Our DBA

Well this looks pretty much accurate xD

Not again..

is it just me or chrome ripped off firefox's design

Remember that excuse?

Share your most useful terminal aliases and functions.

alias gs='git status'
alias gcm='git commit -m'
alias push='git push'
alias pull='git pull'
alias hosts='sudo nano /etc/hosts'
alias glog='git log --graph --oneline --decorate -n 10 --color'
alias mykey='cat ~/.ssh/id_rsa.pub | xclip -sel clip'

function mkcd () {
mkdir -p -- "$1" && cd -P -- "$1"
}

As well as one for each major project (lets say 1+ weeks of dev time) to immediately cd to it from anywhere. How about you guys?

Always looking to improve my terminal commands, so am curious what everyone else uses for shortcuts.

Literally.

Hmm... 🤔

Wireshark 😂

Are you even a dev if you haven't done this once?

Researching to making a small 2D game using constructor classes and while building out classes, was working on my Tree method using fractal geometry and made a wallpaper out of the tree 🌳

I've given up hope a long time ago...

Here I present the debian cat

Wait... Why didn't anyone thought about that?

Try if you can

How to calculate walking distance

Km/m/inch ❌
3 songs ✔️

Next time I see a constructor with 22 parameters. I'm gonna report whoever wrote that to the police

Yesterday, my employer promoted me to lead web developer.

I’m still the only web developer.

"my app is so awesome you don't even have to close it, it crashes itself automatically. "

What devrant taught me:

Everyone hates java
Everyone hates php
Everyone hates spaces
Everyone hates tabs
Everyone hates vim
Everyone hates windows
Everyone hates linux
Everyone hates clients
Everyone hates PMs
Everyone hates every language they're not working with
Everyone loves devrant 😊