Details
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AboutI'm just like you! Coder, Nerd but I love Music! Telegram @BinaryByter
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SkillsC++, doing random shit, not being productive, building a kernel
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LocationGermany
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Website
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Github
Joined devRant on 11/10/2016
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Rule number 1 in performances debug :
It's always I/O.
If it's not IO, then the code should be REALLY bad.12 -
My boss wanted to hide the web application source code from the browser dev tools, he wanted to force the clients to use an electron portal for the application and block the access from any other browser.8
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The problem with Linux... It's stable, you can get exactly the desktop experience you want out of it, BUUUUT, there's always an urge to tinker a little more, then you break everything and it takes hours to fix6
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Life is hard.
You are born. DNA gets determined. You go through infancy.
Puberty comes and DNA is like
"uh from now you'll pretty much have strong sexual urges, a huge desire to be sexually prolific, nothing weird like being pedo or into rape though".
me: Uh ok.
dna: oh, also, you're gonna be one of those late bloomers, you know, you talk like shit, you dress like shit, you smell like shit.
life: that's true and also you don't have anyone in your life to teach you about that shit, so forget about kissing, having sex, let alone being in a relationship for a long time.
*a lot of years go by with a lot of missed opportunities, mistakes and regrets*
life: ok, you seem to have become a decent sex partner out of a lot of scarring experiences, but there's one problem: you've fallen in love with somebody.
and you're married
and you have kids
me: well, does that mean I can't fuck other people?
life: yeah, no. I'm surprised I even have to explain that, it's called cheating. It will pretty much ruin your marriage, and fuck up your kids.
me: ok, I guess no then. I'm still fortunate enough to have sex with my wife right?
life: yeah... but you still want to fuck other people
me: what???
life: yeah, did you think that falling in love would make you not want to fuck other people? fuck no
me: ok, well I'm very grateful that I get to experience sex at all.
life: yes... there's a thing though, your partner has a much much lower libido than you.
me: ok, well maybe if I exercise and dress better that might change
life: that will definitely help, you'll feel more confident and have more stamina, but every time you retry exercising, you remember how much you hate it and how little stamina you have.
oh, I'm sorry, I forgot you had kids and work, yeah no time or energy for that.
me: ok, then should I just embrace a more liberal lifestyle, like becoming a swinger?
life: ha, fat chance, it's a very taboo thing and you're not that liberal, neither is she.
me: uhhh, i guess i can sometimes watch porn then...
life: watching porn regularly will make the only sex that you have worse, according to statistics.
me: ok, I guess I should get ripped17 -
Coworker: You see, once you get older, you learn to not worry yourself with what browser you should use and just use safari
^--- Only 2 years older
Me: ...
Me: Don't try to justify that €12 spend on a json viewer for safari.8 -
Petition for the pixelated avatars joke to be a permanent feature.
Vote for yes
Down vote for no
:)12 -
StackOverFlow and the Downvote Paranoia
I've been more active than my usual in SO for sometime now and I noticed this behavioral pattern between new questions and badge thirsty flaggers/downvoters, back in the early 2010s the fastest gun in the west used to reply with a correct answer, now the early replies are mostly complaints about formatting or how it's a duplicate of a totally different question. This is a result of wanting to keep the quality high, understood. But you can always edit questions with poor grammar and/or formatting. But I think it gets too spoopy for new users to post an innocent question, or an answer for that matter. It discourages them to learn.14 -
Got my new phone a few weeks ago, it rocks a 11000 mAh battery.
Was sceptical as for how long it'd last anyways so charged it last Sunday to see how long it will last with my usage (few hours of devRanting, loads of signalling and quite some firefoxing plus Spotify a lot):
At 40 percent now 😯35 -
We're using a ticket system at work that a local company wrote specifically for IT-support companies. It's missing so many (to us) essential features that they flat out ignored the feature requests for. I started dissecting their front-end code to find ways to get the site to do what we want and find a lot of ugly code.
Stuff like if(!confirm("blablabla") == false) and whole JavaScript libraries just to perform one task in one page that are loaded on every page you visit, complaining in the js console that they are loaded in the wrong order. It also uses a websocket on a completely arbitrary port making it impossible to work with it if you are on a restricted wifi. They flat out lie about their customers not wanting an offline app even though their communications platform on which they got asked this question once again got swarmed with big customers disagreeing as the mobile perofrmance and design of the mobile webpage is just atrocious.
So i dig farther and farthee adding all the features we want into a userscript with a beat little 'custom namespace' i make pretty good progress until i find a site that does asynchronous loading of its subpages all of a sudden. They never do that anywhere else. Injecting code into the overcomolicated jQuery mess that they call code is impossible to me, so i track changes via a mutationObserver (awesome stuff for userscripts, never heard of it before) and get that running too.
The userscript got such a volume of functions in such a short time that my boss even used it to demonstrate to them what we want and asked them why they couldn't do it in a reasonable timeframe.
All in all I'm pretty proud if the script, but i hate that software companies that write such a mess of code in different coding styles all over the place even get a foot into the door.
And that's just the code part: They very veeeery often just break stuff in updates that then require multiple hotfixes throughout the day after we complain about it. These errors even go so far to break functionality completely or just throw 500s in our face. It really gives you the impression that they are not testing that thing at all.
And the worst: They actively encourage their trainees to write as much code as possible to get paid more than their contract says, so of course they just break stuff all the time to write as much as possible.
Where did i get that information you ask? They state it on ther fucking career page!
We also have reverse proxy in front of that page that manages the HTTPS encryption and Let's Encrypt renewal. Guess what: They internally check if the certificate on the machine is valid and the system refuses to work if it isn't. How do you upload a certificate to the system you asked? You don't! You have to mail it to them for them to SSH into the system and install it manually. When will that be possible you ask? SOON™.
At least after a while i got them to just disable the 'feature'.
While we are at 'features' (sorry for the bad structure): They have this genius 'smart redirect' feature that is supposed to throw you right back where you were once you're done editing something. Brilliant idea, how do they do it? Using a callback libk like everyone else? Noooo. A serverside database entry that only gets correctly updated half of the time. So while multitasking in multiple tabs because the performance of that thing almost forces you to makes it a whole lot worse you are not protected from it if you don't. Example: you did work on ticket A and save that. You get redirected to ticket B you worked on this morning even though its fucking 5 o' clock in the evening. So of course you get confused over wherever you selected the right ticket to begin with. So you have to check that almost everytime.
Alright, rant over.
Let's see if i beed to make another one after their big 'all feature requests on hold, UI redesign, everything will be fixed and much better'-update.5 -
Once again, we delivered our semester project and this time, we added working concurrency to an existing functional language compiler, which is pretty cool. But I'd probably be more happy if I had been developing more on the compiler than once again being stuck writing the fucking paper because none would be arsed to write it otherwise...
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F*cking Samsung's alarm clock.
I really needed to wake up early today so I added secondary alarm little bit earlier. It was supposed to ring at 5:20 and second one shall ring 5:30. But Samsung said no.
Update came thru night and phone was restarted in process. Why it can't keep memory unlocked I don't understand, but OK. But it effectively means it was not able to trigger alarm clock. So I woke up at 6:35 and came more than hour late.
Why such basic functionality failed? My old Sony Erricsson T290i can ring even when powered down. Same as my Nokia and after that Lumia with Windows Phone 10. Why can't Samsung just be normal.12 -
website: uwu,,,im sowwy, but pweaese...wiww you pwease tuwn off ad bwock? we weawwy need ouw money (´・ω・`)
me: ok [turns off adblock]
website: 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍𝐋𝐎𝐀𝐃 𝐂𝐔𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐓𝐎𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐗 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐀 𝐕6 -
So there's this developer I work with. Let's call him Kevin.
I am a UX designer, former Developer from IBM - but I really love design, so I made the switch. My background however, usually makes working with Developers easy.
But not this guy! I provided a clickable prototype complete with code to easily inspect with Dev tools for measurements. I provided mobile references for some screens but not all.
Kevin submits screenshots for me to review the design. Looks nothing like the prototype, so I get out my Wacom tablet and basically draw redlines over the screenshot. "No border here, 22px should be 20px, etc."
His response was:
"I need you to say exactly what you one (want?) each pages and mobile pages to look like, text size of the font, etc.
You did a lot of red marking, so I am asking for clarification."
So basically asking for red line specs. I asked a month ago if he wanted all the mobile screens, or if what I provided was enough along with the style guide. He agreed. So now I'm majorly pissed off.
Maybe it's also the fact that one of the other developers has to hold his hand, because everything he does is bad. 😡 And his lack of ability to articulate a damn sentence effectively drives me crazy. Cherry on top, I suppose.
Would love to bring this up with my boss. ♥️ And suggestions. 😍3 -
Getting married to a female dev sounds cool, until she starts setting up a trello board for house tasks.🙅23
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Me: when are you coming?
Gf: 1 hour
Me: started updating windows!!
.
.
.
After 1.5 hour
Gf came
Windows still updating 😂10 -
Dear junior programmers:
You will never get hired from what you learned at University
You have to study on your own, update your knowledge, practice at home and fail
The most important is to know which field to focus on10 -
I was giving an interview this other day and I was sharing my screen with the interviewer.
Interviewer 😦: Is this linux you are using?
Me 😅: Ah yes. Since this is a coding round I am not comfortable on windows for coding.
Interviewer 😳: And this is your personal laptop?
Me 😁: Yes, since the only use of windows is primarily to play games and the games I play are usually supported on linux, I dont see any reason why my daily driver should be anything other than linux.
Interviewer 😯: What distro is this?? Looks cool.
Me 😆: Its Ubuntu with KDE Plasma. There are some really cool things in here which actually make my life quite easier.
Interviewer ☺️: I must check this out today itself. Lets start with the interview then.
Me 😊: *Blushing in my mind
And this is how you score some instant brownie points in an interview. Actually if truth be told, that laptop was actually my work laptop and my personal laptop has windows on it because nvidia and Assassin's Creed.19