AboutFull Stack Web Developer
Joined devRant on 9/30/2020
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I just LOVE how our service desk takes emails and reformats the fuck out of newlines so they look like
problem is fix.
Barely worked the last two years. Brain is a fucking sieve now. Extremely frustrating not retaining information/not understanding systems I know I'm vsmart enough to.
The fact I have to basically waterboard people to get information doesn't help, but even so...3
Someone from the higher ups had received complaints that I don’t answer my phone enough.
My boss told them I wasn’t hired here to provide phone support.4
In the US, when a technician or something says "yeah anywhere from 8am to 7pm" they will show up around 6pm.
In Germany, however, if they say "8am to 7pm" they're at your door at 7am, knocking loudly and unapologetically.
Yes, please, checking my heaters is so urgent, please do it right now. There's not a moment to lose. Don't worry, it's not like we were still asleep.
I had a question about a software concepts I didn't understand so I posted it to softwareengineering.stackexchange.com since stackoverflow would eat me for trying to ask for help with a concept.
I thought nothing was worse than stackoverflow...
I was wrong, in the first 2 minutes I got 2 downvotes and no comments why I got downvoted. I checked other posts...
All downvoted at least -3 and no comments why.
Congrats Software Engineering you stole the crown for most toxic community from stack5
Office manager sending a mail that all spaces now only have "sustainable vegan leather" furniture, "to carry responsibility for the planet and commit to a greener company image".
You mean you bought uncomfortable plastic chairs.
Vegan leather is just fucking plastic.
Not all plastics are bad, but in this case it's a very toxic plastic, a PVC softened with phtalates and stabilized with cadmium stearate, produced cheaply in a country with no regards for public health or the environment.
It's about as sustainable as munching down a vegan quinoa avocado salad in a private jet on a transatlantic flight.
There are moments where I'm glad that I'm still working from home, because I would have planted that ugly fucking desk chair straight into the equally ridiculous power-slurping hipster "sustainable vertical herb garden" with its 500 watt growlight bulbs.15
So, you start with a PHP website.
Nah, no hating on PHP here, this is not about language design or performance or strict type systems...
This is about architecture.
No backend web framework, just "plain PHP".
That sounds like fucking paradise to me right now. 😍
But no, of course it was updated to PHP7, using Laravel, and a main.js file was created. GREAT.... right? Yes. Sure. Totally cool. Gotta stay with the times. But there's still remnants of that ancient framework-less website underneath. So we enter an era of Laravel + Blade templates, with a little sprinkle of raw imported PHP files here and there.
Fine. Ancient PHP + Laravel + Blade + main.js + bootstrap.css. Whatever. I can still handle this. 🤨
But then the Frontend hipsters swoosh back their shawls, sip from their caramel lattes, and start whining: "We want React! We want SPA! No more BootstrapCSS, we're going to launch our own suite of SASS styles! IT'S BETTER".
OK, so we create REST endpoints, and the little monkeys who spend their time animating spinners to cover up all the XHR fuckups are satisfied. But they only care about the top most visited pages, so we ALSO need to keep our Blade templated HTML. We now have about 200 SPA/REST routes, and about 350 classic PHP/Blade pages.
So we enter the Era of Ancient PHP + Laravel + Blade + main.js + bootstrap.css + hipster.sass + REST + React + SPA 😑
Now the Backend grizzlies wake from their hibernation, growling: We have nearly 25 million lines of PHP! Monoliths are evil! Did you know Netflix uses microservices? If we break everything into tiny chunks of code, all our problems will be solved! Let's use DDD! Let's use messaging pipelines! Let's use caching! Let's use big data! Let's use search indexes!... Good right? Sure. Whatever.
OK, so we enter the Era of Ancient PHP + Laravel + Blade + main.js + bootstrap.css + hipster.sass + REST + React + SPA + Redis + RabbitMQ + Cassandra + Elastic 😫
Our monolith starts pooping out little microservices. Some polished pieces turn into pretty little gems... but the obese monolith keeps swelling as well, while simultaneously pooping out more and more little ugly turds at an ever faster rate.
Management rushes in: "Forget about frontend and microservices! We need a desktop app! We need mobile apps! I read in a magazine that the era of the web is over!"
OK, so we enter the Era of Ancient PHP + Laravel + Blade + main.js + bootstrap.css + hipster.sass + REST + GraphQL + React + SPA + Redis + RabbitMQ + Google pub/sub + Neo4J + Cassandra + Elastic + UWP + Android + iOS 😠
"Do you have a monolith or microservices" -- "Yes"
"Which database do you use" -- "Yes"
"Which API standard do you follow" -- "Yes"
"Do you use a CI/building service?" -- "Yes, 3"
"Which Laravel version do you use?" -- "Nine" -- "What, Laravel 9, that isn't even out yet?" -- "No, nine different versions, depends on the services"
"Besides PHP, do you use any Python, Ruby, NodeJS, C#, Golang, or Java?" -- "Not OR, AND. So that's a yes. And bash. Oh and Perl. Oh... and a bit of LUA I think?"
2% of pages are still served by raw, framework-less PHP.32
'rona virus working from home thug life.
MS Teams, several people including my PM, my company's sales lead, and the top brass from the client.
Sharing my center monitor with some technical documents etc.
A wild messenger message appears from my wife with the contents, "I'm gonna come home for lunch and fuck you sideways."
I'd put the amount of time it took me to mouse up there and flick that thing off the screen at about 900 miliseconds.
How fucked (in addition to sideways) am I?
Tl;dr ~ Fucked my wife. Fucked my life.11
So I migrated over to ja.stackoverflow.com, which is just the japanese version of stackoverflow, and realized how much different japanese devs are to the american ones Im used too.
On the standard StackOverflow I would see people argue and lots of questions would be downvoted. but on its japanese counterpart if you even ask for a little more context on a question they speak to you as if you were there boss. They also always say thank you sir at the end of their comment.
Im tempted to just keep google translate open and stay on ja.stackoverflow13
Lecturer who is supposed to be teaching us to program somehow cannot debug his own code, instead I am telling him how to fix it... 🙈3
Cleaned up my email and deleted 45k emails and unsubscribed from ~80+ services and added ~100+ filters to sort and auto-delete new emails. Now I have no unread messages.16
Tried drunk coding yesterday for the first time which seems like a rite of passage for us.
Short endeavor. Turns out I cannot type when drunk.11
Gotta love well meaning juniors with completely misplaced intentions.
Nathan: "Hey, do you want a quick 5 minute demo of the code we've changed to move to library version x?"
Almond: "Sure (I wasn't that fussed about moving to library x, but he seemed determined and there's some nice to haves with bumping the version, so we approved it.)"
Nathan: "Cool, so we have this built here, and..."
Almond: "...wait, that's not our CI system!"
Nathan: "Yeah, so I moved to a new CI system too because we couldn't get that working in the old one"
Almond: "...right, we'll need to discuss that, because..."
Nathan: "Sure, we also moved the templating engine as well as there were more examples using this one with library x"
Almond: "...yeah, so I don't think we're looking to switch the templating engine because..."
Nathan: "...and you guys also need to change a bunch of your code as it's all broken since we put the new version in, most of the tests fail..."
Great... so we've got a branch that breaks a bunch of code, switches the templating engine to one we don't want to use, and switches the CI to the one the company is trying to actively migrate away from...
Almond: "We're going to need longer than 5 minutes. I'll put something in the calendar."
I have some good, no, great news I forgot to share yesterday:
Drum roll 🥁🥁🥁🥁
I just got my first job as an intern!!!
I'll be developing their product from scratch along with a few other devs, it's gonna be awesome. My primary occupation will be as a backend dev, but I'm also gonna help a bit on the frontend.
They also said they won't micro manage me, they just want me to deliver their tasks, so I can work whenever I want and not necessarily 6 hours a day. I'm a bit skeptical here because that sounds like they're gonna overwork me, but they also said they don't want to get in the way of my studies in college, so idk. It seems like a really nice place.
It's going to be remote work and the pay is also very good for an internship.
All of it seems way too good to be true, there has to be a catch... I'll find out in time, just let me be happy for getting my first actual job ever ok? Just for a few days.
Anyways, I'm just so fucking happy with this and wanted to share it with ya :)7
Can you guess where the form fields are?
It's the grey area.
Not, not that one, the other grey area.2
Due to working from home I decided a few months back to invest the money I save instead of keeping it all in my bank account.
About 10-20% of it goes to a long term investing account and the rest into the one I manage actively.
The nice thing about homeoffice is that I can have a lunch break an hour later when the market opens and review my shit, then again checking up on it in the late evening before the market closed here.
Have been playing around with trading for years but never did it with patience and discipline.
After 3 months I managed to reach over 16% profit.
My account is small so it’s not a lot of money but I’m focusing on the % rather than the $ at the moment. It’s a start..
Anyway, thought I’ll share my progress with you guys as some of you probably invest as well..
Im exclusively swing trading, so holding my positions between 1-14 days with no leverage.
Fuck these super social media instagram influencer developers telling everyone watching their story that "everyone can be a programmer.". You can't. It's not only about syntax and a run button.16
One part of the internet I'm on, there are a handful of abusive folk who admin are not dealing with.
They say, they aren't being abusive, when they clearly are !
And, if I'm abusive back, I get my posts removed..
After some thought, I wonder if the following would work:
What if I posted fake deleted by admin messages ?
I don't think the admin would really delete them, since they aren't abusive, they just say:
"*** deleted by admin ***"
And the folk being abusive to me, would wonder what I had said, since they obviously missed the moment between when I posted it, and when it got deleted..
But as it wasn't really deleted, there never was anything for them to miss. :-)
That at least might play on their minds a little and allow me to attack back just a smidge.
And no, this part of the internet doesn't have a working ignore feature.. (Not until I code one!)
And yes, its quite useful and currently not replaceable with any other part of the internet, so I have to find a way to put up with the shit from others, or get their posts removed/etc.
Which isn't happening since those doing the admin jobs are either too stupid for words, or also abusive asses.
I don't think anyone will notice offhand the messages are fake, since the only people who know for sure are the admin folk, and they aren't super great at paying attention to what they should be admining..4
Never ask "How to start with X?". It's a dumb open-ended question with vague open-ended solutions.
Rather ask "I'm at X, want to do Y, I have Z proposed solution. Does that sound good?"
Builds context, focusses on action and is more efficient.2
After 12 years of having programming as a hobby and getting more than proficient in doing sysadmin work and fullstack development - I finally got my first job interview and test-case!4
How much do you contribute (if at all) to your 401k? My company has no company match, but I am trying to max it out ($19,500 a year). Any reason why not to max it out? In my mid-20s.18
Work as efficient as possible!
Also developers :
Pressing the arrow up ⬆️ in the terminal 90 times to find a command that could have been manually typed out in 1 sec18