It's not a bug , it's a feature

I had to integrate an internal service. The doc said:

Lorem impsum...

fuck me I had to reverse engineer it.

I have statistics joke but it's not significant.

leonardo da Vimci

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https://reddit.com/r/vim/...

just because i want a motherfucker to sit on top of everything! lol

do you know an easier way?

Well, after lurking in the dark for years, I finally created an account just so I could downvote a certain security related post.
However, I am lacking the necessary ++.
So a "hello, world!" with a sprinkle of rant it is:

Be me:
Show WIP Feature, state that it will be probably done by tomorrow, excluding time for peer review
Be my PM:
"Can we release this today?"

This happend so often that "Can we release this yesterday?" became a common phrase among my coworkers and me if someone is ranting about something broken in their feature. Probably gonna try using it here as well :D

The debugging duck has been retired and instead has been replaced by the maven meow
(Yeah I just needed an excuse to share a cat pic)

Amazon's CEO Jeff Bezos becomes the first person ever worth $200 billion.

Thanks to my prime membership , else he'd still be at $199.999999999999 billion

Wanna mess with users? Take

“OK” and “Cancel”.

You know what looks visually the same but means the opposite?

“NO” and “Confirm”.

Deploy that little ui update overnight and watch the world burn.

Ok, so....WTF?!?!?!!!

I loved what Flash used to be. Most people thought it was proprietary stuff. The program was. It's language was not. And damn, did we have fun together! We rendered vector graphics from code and pushed perlin noise into bitmaps while the HTML guys were still struggling with rounded corners. Oh, those bezier curves we dreamed up out of thin lines of code!

Other people just couldn't see how beautiful you were. They hated you because you were popular, and ads were beginning to dominate the landscape. And lots of dildo's made ads by abusing your capabilities, straining you with their ugly code that didn't remove event listeners properly. I always did, because I loved you.

They made fun of you because you had to be compiled. Look what those cavemen are doing now, dear ActionScript 3.0. They are compiling Javascript and pushing it to production. They are all fools my dear, unworthy to read even a single line of your gracious typed syntax. We were faster then Java. More animated and fluid then CSS. We were even responsive if we needed to.

But... I have to move on. I don't know if you're still watching over me but I can't deny I've been trying to find some happiness. I think you would have wanted me to. C# is a sweet girl and I'm thankful for her, but I won't ever forget those short few years we had together. They were the absolute best.

Rest well my dear princess.

I'm nearly crying today. 1 and half year ago I started my own business (gaming and android app dev company). Today I own an office and hired another person to help me. Why it took me 1,5 goddamn year to realize that working alone from my bedroom on 4-5 projects at the same time is not healthy nor productive in the long run? It seems that this shit took some self growth to realize that I can actually trust other human beings.

It’s official. I’m dating a girl.

She’s damn smart, tasteful, hot and really into tech.

Honest, talkative, a real keeper.

Studying IT-Security. Fuckkk I’m dropping spit out my mouth. ALL. DAY.

> Expected parameter of type 'The', 'string' provided

Bro you ok?

Year 2012, me junior wanting C++ work. Got free internship at age 27 at that company. Did some minor C++ work. Collegue rejected me for work on very interesting C++ project. Yesterday, eight years later, he and I in different company he calls me and asks me to do C++ work, even arranges time for me to read Effective C++. In these eight years I did iOS Android and got pretty fed up with it. Yaaay bitch :)

Dumb username ✓

I still don't. I'm stupid but we'll figure out how stupid soon enough lmao

Drinking game: Take a shot whenever you’re staring at work and don’t feel like working.

Bonus game: try not to die or get fired.

I should name my next master branch daddy

It's 4:30 AM Theres a mutherfucking mosquito or whatever you call these blood-sucking-whirring bastards in your language keeping me from fucking falling asleep.

Is there a Software or Hardware olution to this

You know it's bad when Github finds it necessary to tell you your code is trash

The way 90% of the population wears their face masks really explains a lot about their approach to using software, apps & websites as well.

I feel like giving up.

I am not a developer for the salary, or just to solve analytical puzzles. Those are motivators, but my main drive is to make the world more comfortable and enjoyable, better optimized, build ethical services which bring happiness into people's lives. I want to improve society, even if it's just a tiny bit.

But if users invest absolutely zero percent of their limited brain capacity into understanding a product that already has a super-clean design and responds with helpful validation messages...

...why the fuck bother.

I used to think of the gap between technology and tech-incompetent people as an optimization problem.

As something which could be fixed by spending a fortune on UX research. Write tests, hire QA employees, decrease tech debt, create a bold but unified & simple design.

But the technologically incompetent just get more entitled with every small thing you simplify.

It's never fucking fool-proof enough.

Why can't I upload a 220MB PDF as profile picture? Why doesn't the app install on my 9 year old Android Froyo phone? Why can't I sign up if my phone number contains a  U+FFFC? Why does this page load so slowly from my rural concrete bunker in East Ukraine? WHY DO I HAVE PNEUMONIA, HOW DID I GET INFECTED EVEN THOUGH I WAS WEARING A MOUTH MASK ON MY FOREHEAD?

This is why I ran away from Frontend, to Backend, to DBA.

If I could remove myself further from the end user, I would.

At least I still have a full glass of tawny port and a huge database which needs to be normalized & migrated.

Fuck humans, I'm going to hug a server.

Warning: BBQ religion discussion

I love living in Seattle, but one thing that really, truly bugs me is the absence of legit bbq. I love all bbq, Carolina, Memphis, Texas, Virginia, Tennessee, Georgie, doesn't matter. Even Kansas City and California if i have to.

There's places people swear by here, but they're mostly just meataterias with meat that is just OK. At least half of BBQ are the sides. Here, very little vinegar in sight, everything dry AF and underseasoned/oversalted. Dry potato salad that is mostly kraft mayo, coleslaw that's also mostly kraft mayo and menu items like "queso mac and cheese." You said cheese twice, I like cheese, but I don't trust you enough to order it. And greens? Don't even try.

Biggest thing though: if you don't serve fried okra, don't you dare call your shit Texas bbq 😠

'Nobody told me that the database was part of the backend'