My friend sent me this.

Yes. I am one of those guys. After desktop hits ~1gb of b/s and 100+ files... yeah... I do this. I am not ashamed of it. I am living the life. I am free of clutter. I suck.

Apple at its finest. Sold the iPhone I used to own. Wanted to remove from iCloud. Open chrome on my Android device and was greeted with unsupported browser. Funny thing is it works if I tick open as desktop website.

Ffs apple. Your safari browser is the new IE of browsers. Yes my device is supported. Yes for Christ sake it can render stuff. It's not an old Nokia... Who even thought it was remotely a good idea to restrict mobile access...

Food and computers.

Sorry for the fat people as well but i think those is legit.

I am sitting next to this friend of mine in class. She is a bit big. Anyhow.

She opens her laptop and i see her screen. Its dirty. But by dirty i mean fucking dirty. Like brow transparent circle like things all over.

I`m like: “shiiiet， whats that on your screen”.

She: “i am not really sure”.

2 days layer in another class we sit together again and she looks at me with a smile.

She: “look my screen is clean. It was dirty because sometimes o sit in bed and eat chicken then type on my keyboard，so when i close my computer the keys touch the screen and voiiiila!”

Me: “..... Wow”

She was quite proud she had elucidated the problem and did not really understand the meaning of my wow.

I'm a peaceful programmer.

Client: I said I wanted that text to be white. We talked about this. You have to do what I tell you.

Me: the text is white. The color code is #ffffff.

Client: well make it more white!

*Sigh*

XP.
Why though ...

Soo true... Light vs. Dark...

Me: "I try to keep it under 400 watchers unless there's a really good reason"
Them: "Oh yeah, cool. So what's a watcher?"
Me: 😦

Best random algorithm

Misunderstanding is like running ftp server on port 80!
Ftp responses for http request!
In real life it happens like this

Our project is a legacy of all legacy projects. The developers imported the third-party libraries by copy-pasting the whole source codes into the project. Ohhhh yeahhh!!!

Found a "great" variable name while maintaining legacy code:

{
...
Report goodbye = Report::first($id);
goodbye->delete();
...
}

Goodbye report! 😂😂😂

Here's some more proof for Unicode being hard to use

! Rant

I'm getting married on Friday.
I proposed half a year ago.

What have we done since the proposal?

- Adopted a Cnaani dog with a lot of issues and recovered her from most of them.
- went every Saturday to skydive for the whole day (almost finish the license!)
- moved apartment
- Plan and execute the wedding
- build wedding RSVP and teaser sites
- work full time as developers (me full-stack and she's an automation expert)
- go abroad twice
- I have work on a new startup with a friend (in version two right now)
- I hade my driver license classes
- went to salsa courses twice a week
- built our salsa wedding dance
- I studied Clojure, ruby on rails, Angular 2 and a little bit of React.
And more...

So why does it feel I haven't done enough?

That moment when You finish day of coding on such satisfying line number

The Inevitable Pun and the Joys of Working as a Basic User in the *nix World!

Sauce: http://hit-comic.com/comic/...

Start-up: hires 3 junior devs to save money.

Start-up: expects things to get done faster-- BUT-- Start-up keeps adding things to the TO-DO list and backlog-- i.e. it's all relative!!

Start-up: gets angry at 3 junior devs why they can't deliver when they keep adding tasks and ask we fall behind.

Dev team: "Seriously? You hire more devs to finish tasks faster, but you keep adding more than are being finiahed-- obviously it's gonna take longer now regardless"

Git --pull life together

I totally agree... now go tell my client.

You will realize that your life is fucked up when you write ' <i class="fa fa-laptop"></i>' in devRant instead of using emoji(💻).

In case you want to ruin your coworker's day

My try at the fractal tree :) This sort of simple graphical code is very quickly satisfying, gonna try to add some wind next

implementing analytics that nobody is going to use

Just refactored this only for the sake of my eyes..

I have a lot of interesting code snippets from some kind of inhouse CRM/billing software, but for now let's look at this very useful PHP function.

What if the g in gif is silent?

Who even uses signed variables for usage counters?!

Have a query that runs in 01:58 and returns 517860 records. Rewrite it a bit for performance reasons, try running again, now it runs in 01:17 and returns 517870 records. Where the hell did I pick up those extra 10 records on that many total records?
I hate optimization...

Everyone else on discord be playing games, Me:

GUESS WHO JUST BURNT OUT?

With 3 weeks to go to launch I've just been booked off for a week for chronic stress and exhaustion.

No laptop for a week.