AboutJust a hobby coder
Joined devRant on 7/22/2016
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We strongly advise people to use Windows as their primary operating system as it provides a totally free and a great tool or a utility known as Backdoors.
Here's a simple explanation of a backdoor for the people who don't know what a great tool it is :
Just as most of the citizens have a secondary door to their home through the yard, similarly a backdoor is a secondary access to your Computer which you (not us) can use it in cases of emergencies when you forget the passwords.
Have a great day :)29
Some people hate a language due to problem they faced while using it. I simply hate some language because code written in it doesn't looks good.4
Do you ever wonder why the UK public sector has such a bad computer system? This! This is why!!! What a frigging waste of money!!!! Every computer in the school has this stupid set up!!!20
A couple of years ago, I was working in a computer shop as a "technician", I was 15, first job I ever had.
One day an elderly lady came into the shop, probably 50'ish, she and her whole family "suffered" from electromagnetic radiation, and the mother had the worst suffering. She complained about her TV box that just had died.
I accept the tuner and see it's wrapped with 10 layers of aluminium foil, with a tiny hole for the IR receiver.
The whole box smells like burnt electronics, and the foil gets darker for each layer I unwrap. I try explain to her that the box gets warm and overheated by wrapping it like this, and she's lucky that it didn't catch fire.
I further explain to her that she will not get a new box, because the warranty does not cover _this_. The mother tells me she has to wrap it like this, because she gets headaches when she's watching the news.
She then proceeds to go into a rage mode and gets her whole family into the shop, where all of them starts yelling at me, the younger kids start throwing stuff down from the shelves and touching the TVs with sticky fingers (literally, sticky, like yuck!).
Unsure what to do, boss is in a meeting, and my colleague is busy in the back.
So I calmly tell them that in this building there's 4 wireless networks, 3 wireless phones, high voltage cables run in the wall behind me, there's factory tracks 20 meters behind the building, next door business is an electrician, you're standing in front of wall with 30-40 TVs, 5 HDMI splitters, 3 TV boxes and a Blu-ray player. And they've all been standing in front of them for the last 10 minutes.
They all suddenly feel really sick and run out of the store, never to be seen again. From that day, I decided I'll never work in a shop again, and pursued my dreams to become a developer.
TL;DR: Family is "sensitive" to electromagnetic radiation, almost put burnt down their house because of stupidity, yelled at me. I decided to pursue my dream as a developer.17
Whenever I feel bad, I go and help random people with their code.
I also randomly offer to help teach people Java so that they can learn best practice and perhaps not make the same small mistakes.
Such is life. My method of coping with sadness.11
I've got a mini stroke today. My project ended and I got delegated elsewhere.
"It's going to be fine, it's c++, you will find yourself there"
Suspicious, it's a project everybody was staying out of as hard as they can. But hey, it's cool, how bad can it be? what can go wrong with that?
Reality was brutal, project that uses Boost C++ as framework and bjam as builder. Builds with a decent dose of luck, and only under special circumstances, only under one specific version of compiler. No docs, quartet of the code is in Fortran, just to use ancient lisp part which was second qarter. The most senior Dev around does not have idea how it all works. Also everything is inside one enormous try/catch block. Because of the reasons.
That's how people end up with severe alcoholism and meth addiction.8
That moment when you know Python, and start in a serious national competition. You expect god knows how hard tasks....and all of a sudden you realise that all of them are in turtle...rip2
What do you mean fatal error? The exact same code was working five minutes ago you fuck
sometimes when switching back to python from c++ i realize how python is pretty much pseudo code that went too far
disclaimer to prevent rant responses: i love python and have nothing against it5
$ sudo apt install happiness
Error : no happiness package found for your system
$ sudo apt uninstall problems
Error : even sudo can't remove your problems from your system
WAIT !!!! WHAT???3
Wow i hate damn quora, i google something, click on a quora crap and it wants to know my interests. And i cant see what i clicked. I wonder wich morons are using this shit, i should get me a lucille like negan for Them.4
Years ago, when i was a teenager (13,14 or smth) and internet at home was a very uncommon thing, there was that places where ppl can play lan games, have a beer (or coke) and have fun (spacenet internet cafe). It was like 1€ per hour to get a pc. Os was win98, if you just cancel the boot progress (reset button) to get an error boot menu, and then into the dos mode "edit c:/windows/win.ini" and remove theyr client startup setting from there, than u could use the pc for free. How much hours we spend there...
The more fun thing where the open network config, without the client running i could access all computers c drives (they was just shared i think so admin have it easy) was fun to locate the counter strike 1.6 control settings of other players. And bind the w key to "kill"... Round begins and you hear alot ppl raging. I could even acess the server settings of unreal tournament and fck up the gravity and such things. Good old time, the only game i played fair was broodwar and d3 lod5
Client: Hi I'm having trouble with my computer.
IT Guy: Have you tried turning it off and on again?5
I was told it was one brave squirrel that led the attack on our internet today...I hope that squirrel is up and running because we are.
I keep my git histories clean.
Some of my coworkers, let's call them Jack and Jill, do not.
Jack, Jill, and I share a branch. They apply patches on top of this branch to make the code work in special environments. I pull from this branch and build my component against it.
Today, I did git fetch and noticed that the branch had been force-updated.
Huh... this branch doesn't compile correctly...
I spend some time trying to figure out what's wrong, then I see that the force push was required because they just completely dropped a patch from the history. That patch happened to make some API changes, as patches occasionally do. I'm guessing that they just pushed from a local branch that had old history + a bunch of their hacks on top of it.
The patch was also big, since to make the API change you also have to update the use in every single test.
So I email them, asking why they had done the force push, and why they had dropped this patch that my component needs to compile. (This patch had been in master for awhile now). I also asked them to please restore the patch and any others that they had accidentally dropped.
Jack responds: "oh, yeah, I needed to do the force push because our component had a bug in it and I needed to update something. I tried to cherry pick the patch that I dropped, but it's too many files to resolve conflicts with so I'm not going to do it."
Jill responds: "we don't really have time to do to this work, can you apply the patch yourself?"
...but this wouldn't have happened if you had... you're the ones who... this patch was already merged...
FUCK YOU. You think I'm less busy than you are? You think I have time to CLEAN UP AFTER YOU because you don't have a FUCKING CLUE how to use git? Your mistake has caused a problem, and now you're going to try to put the consequences on ME? FUCK OFF! I'M DONE WORKING WITH YOU!
...but I want to keep my job. ):12
I pasted scotch tape on the small sensor under the mice of everyone (like 20 people). Then I used a black marker on the scotch tape so it wad completely opaque.
Result? Everyone panicked when they tried to use their computer because the mouse was not working.5
Worst legacy experience...
Called in by a client who had had a pen test on their website and it showed up many, many security holes. I was tasked with coming in and implementing the required fixes.
Site turned out to be Classic ASP built on an MS Access database. Due to the nature of the client, everything had to be done on their premises (kind of ironic but there you go). So I'm on-site trying to get access to code and server. My contact was *never* at her desk to approve anything. IT staff "worked" 11am to 3pm on a long day. The code itself was shite beyond belief.
The site was full of forms with no input validation, origin validation and no SQL injection checks. Sensitive data stored in plain text in cookies. Technical errors displayed on certain pages revealing site structure and even DB table names. Server configured to allow directory listing in file stores so that the public could see/access whatever they liked without any permission or authentication checks. I swear this was written by the child of some staff member. No company would have had the balls to charge for this.
Took me about 8 weeks to make and deploy the changes to client's satisfaction. Could have done it in 2 with some support from the actual people I was suppose to be helping!! But it was their money (well, my money as they were government funded!).1
QA: did you test the app first?
Dev: Yes, I test all my code all the time.
*QA crashes the app within first 5 seconds.*4
A certain system written in MUMPS and VB6. Felt like you were using Windows 95 on a 386 on a good day.
Why does this happen?
Whenever I begin with my exams, I think more about Code and Programming!!