When you go to paste a piece of code with CTRL+V and accidentally press CTRL+C instead so you have to go back and re-copy it.

So here I am in iceland watching Aurora with my gf, and suddenly I realized somewhere in my code at work I freaking forgot to add 1 to the denominator of a fraction. Shitty shit shit, gonna go back to work finding NaNs everywhere. Fuck fuck fuck

*can't figure out why code doesn't work for hours*
ugh fuck this.
*angrily leaves for bathroom break*
*come running back*
I KNOW HOW TO FIX IT!!!!

So today this Mother F**ker get HR to back him up to accuse me of not communicating well in the team because I consistently asked him (the code owner) why he kept coding not following the coding guideline.

How is it not communicating? He literally ghosted me and blocked me every time I ask him questions. Which I somewhat don't understand what he is trying to do. HR lady told me that a senior software engineer should have the knowledge to understand everything and all the code.

But the code looks like this :

When I come back to my old code and see how I was using that framework

I sometimes write code by first putting comments and then writing the code.
Example
#fetch data
#apply optimization
#send data back to server
Then i put the code in-between the comments so that i can understand the flow.
Anyone else has this habit?

I can now die without regret, I came back to a project after leaving it for three months

I WAS ABLE TO UNDERSTAND MY CODE!

I think I reached the point of writing clean code?
Let's hope so :)

If your IDE found

10 errors

and 47 warns

would you correct them

or let them slip.

YO ...

His palms are sweaty

Knees weak, arms are heavy

The tests are failing already

Code spaghetti.

He's nervous,

But at his laptop he looks calm and ready
To squash bugs

But he keeps on forgetting

What he wrote down, the whole team goes so loud

He opens his file, but the code won't come out

He's chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now

The deadline run out, times up, over, blaow!

Snap back to reality, oh there goes file integrity

Oh, there goes documentation, he choked

He's so mad, but he won't give up that easy? No

He won't have it, he knows his whole header's code

It don't matter, he's dope, he knows that, but he's broke

He's so stacked that he knows, when he goes back to his mobile home, that's when its

Back to the office again yo, this whole rhapsody

He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him

Note: All credits to the original owners of these phrases.

So embarrassed to see my code way back from my internship period 🙈🙈🙈🙈

Reading your code from years back is one of the most painful experiences a developer has to go through.

When you come back to your own code after days

I was looking through some code I wrote 10-15 years ago. Seriously, WTF? Makes me want to invent a time machine to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Have you ever written a piece of code so awesome, that you just had to go back, and look at it?

I have.

Don't want to go back to work and code, there's much better things to do; Like stay at home and code instead.

Ever wrote a code, came back the second day to continue it, and was like wtf who wrote this yesterday? 😂

sometimes when switching back to python from c++ i realize how python is pretty much pseudo code that went too far

disclaimer to prevent rant responses: i love python and have nothing against it

3 years, part time, $0.

I used to volunteer my time to an old text based rpg, handling code changes, sysadmin maintenance and the likes - back when those were a thing in the mid 2000's and money wasn't my issue in life - free for them, experience for me - win win!

Was something to get my hands dirty back in the day and contribute to an active community, but since then that place has shut down and been disbanded.

I want to go back to the times where "bugs" were beetles and grasshoppers, nothing related to code or computers.

Why did I sell my soul to programming???

And most importantly, why doesn't my code work???

Refactored a legacy source file and reduced it from 2.8k lines to 300 lines.
Mixed feelings: happy that it is much simpler now and sad that my current project team members never go back to delete unused code.

Testing pending though 😜

After 2 weeks of node, I go back to my buddy python. Write some code. Get tons of errors.

This is what I did at at least 10 places. 😔😑

My computer science teacher is very sly: while you are working he stands right behind you for some time, so you start writing good code, functions for everything, perfect indentation... But you don't know if he is still behind you, and you're not brave enough to look back, so you write good code for the rest of the lesson.
What a good prof

Going back to Java after being writing code in Kotlin for a while feels like going back with your crazy, over reacting ex.

When you write code and forget to comment it, and then you come back and try to figure out why the heck you wrote certain parts of it.

Let this be a lesson for future me.

4 week summer vacation over. Did not code any sideprojects and opened laptop only to watch netflix on vacation (Stranger Things ❤️). My liver will be pleased that its over. Tomorrow back to work, hopefully I remember how to code again 😜

Oh, we don't know why it broke. I know you just did A HUGE FUCKING DATABASE SEVER UPGRADE to the server we're connected to, but no one understands this code, so can't update it to work. Can you roll back 3 VERSIONS so our application that hasn't had a code change in 11 years is optimized?

So I spent 4-5 weeks explaining how shit the current code base was, implemented gulp tasks to lint js, CSS etc, written shed loads of coding standards and best practices to follow. At this point everyone was onboard with the changes and thought brilliant were going to start getting some good code coming out of this team.

I go on holiday for a week, come back and fucker has ignored the documentation disabled the linters in the gulp tasks and the code is back to square one SHIT!!

Plus everyone still committing to master!!!!

Why do I bother!!

*Programming on my API*
"This should work fine, let's devRant for a little"
*Back to programming and looking at the code I just wrote before*
"Dafuq did I just write?!?"

Started coding, Opens spotify, Back to code, Forgot to play a song..

*Starts compile*
...
...
can't find function foo
ld exited with status code 1

*confused*
*Reruns qmake*
*Compiles again*
...
...
can't find function foo
ld exited with status code 1

*very confused*
*switches compilers*
*compiles*
...
...
Worked!

*dafuq*
*switches back to the first compiler*
*compiles*
...
...
Worked!

*tries not to cry*

Holy shit i've found my father's old books back from the 80's for basic and comodore 64. He learnt from thoose and used to code a lot of games and office softwares on that old beast. 😮

> Writing some code 😀
> Compile it
> 10 errors 😣😣
> Debugging mode on😎
> Write about 100 print statements to debug the code
> At last found errors and now remove those print statements😅
> Compile code
> 2 out of 30 test cases pass😤😤
> Exhausted and angry😡
> Silicon valley new episode arrives🎉
> Super excited after watching the episode and think like you too can code like Richard Henricks😎😎
> Coming back to the old code and build logic from scratch
> Compile and finally all test cases pass
> Task completed😂😂

The way most of us devs are spending time on devRant, it seems @dfox might need to introduce a feature named "Reminder" in the app to let devs know that they need to get back to code.

Me: "Inherits a project"

Me: "Reads code"

Me: "Mom, pls put me back to kindergarten, I just wanna color drawing books again"

When you leave your code overnight with a bug and come back in the morning to see it somehow starts working

I didn’t realise that SQL Developer was actually secret code for data entry monkey.

I’m sick to the back teeth doing data entry work and not getting any actually fucking development to do

The use of git and understanding/working with foreign keys and performing (including the understanding) JOIN queries.

Also, it took me years and to understand OOP.

When think back to my code from before that, my brain spontaneously starts bleeding.

I often times write code and think to myself "I don't have to comment this, it's obvious what is going on", only to find myself back at the same code, figuring out wtf it does...

Going back to put in comments after you realise your code is actually going to be used by others after all

Forgetting to reply to my gf when I code, I always return to 30+ texts, 12 missed calls, some Instagram and Facebook messages, an email and find my face on the back of a milk carton 😂

Someone "advised" me today to start going to bed early because it improves my health. Well, it's been 3 hours with my eyes still open.
Screw it am going back to code.

If you ever feel bad about letting non-functional code through to production, just remember that it even happens to companies like Google (My screenshot from a few months back)

I love coming back to old code from when I was learning a new language and cleaning it up/making it better. It confirms that’s I’ve learned something :)

The superhuman feeling of going back to your code after a week and it all makes perfect sense, the variable names are intuitive, the doc strings are comprehensive, and the general codebase structure is sensible.

Holy shit I never realised how frustrating it is to code for a client the way they want it... I mean I just want to go back to coding for fun

Who else does this?

>Work on a website for weeks without taking a break.
>Really enjoy the outcome, take a deserved 2 days off.
>Come back to your code, suddenly you don't know where to start, you feel disgusted by your code and you totally change your idea on how your website should look in the first place.
>Delete it, start from scratch.

Being naive enough to assume I would have time to come back and "fix that later" - oh and also that I would still know exactly what "that" was and how my own code worked with zero documentation.

Manager assigns a work to Back End developer.

"Build a webpage".

Manager assigns a work to Front End developer.

"Check the server code"

Backend Developer: WTF
Frontend Developer: @%%^#^&&

Oh I have a good one.

A dev once was added to the team -he deleted all of the whitespace from the backend code (minified) and called that optimising. We had a lot of back and forth and me reverting the things back to non minified and him back to minified on live environement. I shit you not i had to endure that shit and he kept on insisting that I'm the shitty developer because I don't know how to optimise. I'm starting to rage even thinking about it....

Back to work from extended holiday and feels like I forgot how to code

*finishes university exams*

*gets to code after a long time*

*cannot remember what the code does that was written a few weeks back*

Fuck 😓

Programming a Discord bot in Javascript and just ran it and said, "Hi, NoVegBot" in the chat. It said, "Hi, dad!" back! (Totally didn't program it to say that 😉) That moment when you put life and personality into something you code.

Tried switching from sublime text to VS Code and Atom.

Now going back to Sublime text.

Sublime text is <3.

When your morning stand ups include non-tech personnel and you need to get back to the code

A while back, my little cousin (he’s 5 yo) came to visit me at home doing some coding, he asked me to teach him how to code, he wanted to make games for his friends to play, he is now learning Scratch and I’m planning to teach him Python next.

when I come back to a piece of code that I did not comment

Im gunna get a lot of flak for this but just hear me out:

People keep asking me what it's like working in a male dominated industry. They have conferences for women in tech empowerment and I get forced to go to them because I'm the only female in the office.

The thing is. I don't feel oppressed. I get that we "need" more women in tech but from my experience and from talking to various women at my old university, the reason women are avoiding the tech industry isn't because it's male dominated and they feel out of place. It's because a) it doesn't interest them or b) they never thought of it as an option (like myself).

Computer programming should be in grade schools and highschool's just like math and science to help educated not only women but people in general that it's an option. That's what's going to help more women get in the tech industry. Not these bullshit conferences and women's rights in tech movements, and hiring women over men (even if she's worse than him in skill level) just because she's a woman.

Frankly I think it's downright shameful that companies that are male dominated feel the need to hire women over men just because of gender. If I'm applying somewhere and there's a better male candidate, hire him! I'd much rather your company have a good team then a "balanced" team. Great tech teams are what will bring along new and better technologies, not balanced ones.

Keep in mind I'm talking about Western Civilization here, I get that a lot of countries are still struggling with the balance of women's rights at all but this is Canada.

I also get that there are probably some women who want to join tech but won't because it's too male dominated but frankly that's a shit poor excuse. If you really wanted to join tech then being surrounded by make co-workers wouldn't deter you from living your life the way you want to. If you feel so uncomfortable around men that you won't go into an industry you love because it's male dominated then I'm sorry for you and you should probably see a councillor to get that worked out.

I feel more oppressed by having to put aside my programming and being forced to go to these conferences than I do in the every day workplace. My boss is literally more offended that I don't feel offended about being a woman "minority". He spent a week pestering me about how I would feel about this, that and the other thing if it happened to me.

I'm not saying nobody ever says anything even remotely sexist to me but frankly I could give two shits- I'm here. I'm coding. I'm good at what I do and I'm comfortable enough with myself that I can just blow off the comment (which probably wasn't even meant to offend me) and continue working. But you're going to get that wherever you go, this isn't a flaw of the tech industry. This is a flaw of the world and it goes both ways (men get flak too).

SeniorDev: "If we were only allowed to use C# 6 features, we could reduce our code base by 30%"
- other devs nodding their heads in agreement -
Me: "So, are you going to change our entire code base to be C# 6 compliant?"
SeniorDev: "Uh, oh hell no."
Me: "So those C# 6 features are going to reduce our code base by 0%?"

SeniorDev turns around without saying a word.

Getting a bit awkwardly quiet now. Better watch my back.

After writing in ES6 for awhile going back to write some ES5 code feels like going from a 2017 Mustang to a 1917 Model T

There was a bug that I ignoring to fix for past 8 months and finally Client found the bug and reported back to me. All I said to myself "Motherfuck".

So from tomorrow I will be rewriting a piece of code.

Software engineering course.
Professor wants to show us some Java code.
*Opens eclipse*
*Font super small*
Student: can you please increase the font size?
Professor: sure.
*Can't find the correct setting to do that*
Professor: does anyone know how to increase font size?
Some student at the back: copy the code to notepad++.
:/
Cool professor though..

Hey y'all! It's been a while since I logged in.
But I'm back with a dev jingle, just like last year:

Jingle bells,
Batman smells,
Look how my code compiles,

Oh what fun, it is to see,
No reds in my console!

Me and my stress ball are starting to get quite ready for Christmas :/
Maybe after the holidays the smiley will be back?
Happy Holidays fellow ranters!

P.S. Don't code too much during your holidays

IntelliJ has this tutorial where it teaches you a bunch of shortcuts for making life easy, since version 2017.3 or something like that. Most of it is pretty meh, some of it is pretty useful. And I just came across a keybind to auto format code.

What else do I need. If I can quickly format my code and make it look pretty, that's all I'd want.

"Try reformatting the selected code with Ctrl+Alt+L"

*Linux Mint goes to lock screen*

*logs back in, code is unchanged*

Well played...

This is my first php code ever written, nice to look back.

Sometimes I miss programming, but then I look at my programmer boyfriend's code and I'm like, "Never mind, I'm okay," and I go back to being carefree and happy while he's going grey from the stress. 🙆🏽

A month ago. The code for a feature was removed because my boss thought it would not be required. When that was done, a lot of regression testing was done and a lot of code was changed all over the code base. And those changes were merged to main branch along with a bunch of other changes.

But now, he wants me to put that feature back just as the release date is approaching. It's just a humongous waste of time. Now I need to find where all the tentacles of that bloody feature reach and manually put back the code. And the bloody testing needs to be done all over again.

When will I get to stop dealing with these kind of people.

Never forget to switch your IDE from light theme to dark theme when you're hacking and back when you code well-behaved code!

Frigging hell, the worse part of solo projects is being forced to code back and front end.. My eye can only see consoles :(

Code reviewer keeps removing my comments saying, "This will only be read by other programmers, the code should speak for itself".

<hyperbole>
This is the exact opposite to back in uni where for every line of code they demanded 2 lines of comments!
</hyperbole>

When you look back at Code from your 2nd year of university...

Using while loops as if statements to check for vowels... *shudders in fear*

Finished writing a new app with react native, but wow the performance, true disappointment. Back to native code.

A jr colleague came back from a react.js code camp.
Those hipsters turned the poor kid into a one liner terrorist and buzzword spammer.

It's time to play bad cop and start enforcing line length limit.

Ah.. the beauty of clean code.

I wrote a very cleanly written program two years ago. Proper variable names, not too many, right naming, right design pattern,.. Now I come back to it and I am able to instantly figure out the code again. It only took me half a minute.

The importance of clean code... that's something the industry needs to understand more. Well, then there's the money issue. lol

-Code all day at college
-Get home to rest
-Bored
-Back to coding all night

Coming back to own old code brings pain 🙃

I used to prefer, think, and code in loops rather recursion.

Now though somehow it's the other way around...

And I have to assure myself why a piece of code I wrote won't cause a Stack overflow... and that if I really had to I could convert it back to a loop.

Haven't done it though for a awhile tho...

The worst part has to be you always compromise on your health just because your brain is telling you to solve a code block. You ignore your basic necessities, resulted in irregular patterns of sleep, skipping food and so much more.

Trying to maintain code which was written long back and alot of it has deprecated.

Yes you need to sit your ass down and write the whole thing again.

Am I the only backend developer around here who doesn't enjoy building UIs and tries to get it done ASAP just to go back to backend code?

my App's UI looks ugly as shit because of this.

So I wrote a code for a discord bot a few months back. It worked perfectly alright. Suddenly one day, the bot starts sending random shit to me!

Then I realised that my bot had been hacked because I didn't use the bot token as an environment variable while deploying!

Instead I added it to the code, which I uploaded on GitHub! 😐

Spent about 3 hours arguing back and forth with a QA engineer on what a particular API call was *supposed* to do. It actually got a little heated and probably bothered me way more than it should have, but in the end he comes back with "well why don't we just ask the dev that wrote the code in the first place". Guess who that was?

!rant

To the Devs at OnePlus,

Who ever wrote the code that lets me swap the 'back' and 'show recent apps' buttons so they're like my old phone.... You're a fucking god

Serverless!! because its just too much hassle to manage a shitload of servers when you can just sit back and write code!

I can't believe it took me about 17 years to accidently press the back button on the mouse (mouse button 4?) when Visual Studio had focus. Apparently you can go back to the previous code file by using the back button...

I started a project at high school 7 years ago, I had no idea what's clean code or design pattern, just learn while keep coding. I eventually stopped because my code is so terrible I cannot understand it anymore.

Now, after 1 year of working, I look back those dirty codes and think it is actually not that bad. Within hours I even fixed a bug with concurrency.

I start to think, instead of learning to how to write good code, maybe I should learn how to read bad code. That's just much more practical.

Worst legacy experience is when you go back to a project you were working on when you first started learning. My own code disgusts me the most.

Leaving work with no bugs in the code! Everything works flawlessly!
Coming back the next day and all of a sudden nothing works and we need to spend the whole day getting it to work as well as it did yesterday.
There seems to be programming gnomes, ruining our code at nights!

When u spend too much time writing Java and suddenly go back to C# yet continue to write Java code 😪

Engineering managers will say things like -
- "I'll let the team decide what's best for them" & "code quality is our primary goal" -
but then they'll shoot down any & all requests to go back to some old piece of code and refactor/clean it, because of "deadlines".
Hypocrites, all of them.

I'm having such a blast writing code in TypeScript. Once you learn it you cannot go back to regular JavaScript.

When you really need that code review and no one is getting back to you.

Back then when I was working on a website logic, I didn't want to comment my code. Despite that, I wrote some things which were obvious and I thought it would be funny to explain obvious things in code. I made a joke out of commenting.
Recently I needed to use a part of the code for a different project and the comments were exceptionally helpful and I would be lost without it.

So, kids, comment your code!

This is a good Experience -

I used to go to a class to learn C++(was a kid back then).

One of the sir there told me -
"Anybody can write code,just knowing coding is not enough,idea is more important.You should have good ideas and solutions,you can alaways find people to code for you"

This has stuck with me till this day.

VSCode you fucking piece of shit!

Just got my code working and rewarded myself with tweaking some of the configurations. Coming back to my file and it's all irrevertably messed up with randomly pasted and probably some deleted code snippets.

How's that even possible? 😡

Is it only me or does Unity really force people to write ugly code?
Sometimes I think to my self : " just go and write your god damn own fuckin engine"

But then I sit back and realize that I'd never finish a game that way.

Love & Hate Unity !

Once you learn to code there is no going back...

Almost finished writing some code, then got distracted by devRant. Now I'm back to post about it. MUST FINISH CODING! DAMN YOU DEVRANT!

The solution to a long running bug hit me while I was ironing my shirt today. I took to my heels running upstairs to make the update on my PC and with my haste provoked a shock in the living room causing everyone to run after me.

Finally I got to my PC ignoring the puzzled crowd behind me. Turned it on, launched my VS and was about to make the update when my dad from behind patted my shoulder:

Dad: Hey, what made you ran that way? You got us all scared.
Me: * short gibberish explanation *
Dad: Next time be cautious of the people around you.
Me: * apologized to everyone *

Now back to my PC:
VS Code: (⊙_⊙)
Me: (⊙_⊙)
VS Code: (⊙_⊙)
Me: (⊙_⊙)

ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ Fuck I forgot the code. I forgot the fucking code!
Everyone back in the room... Me still screaming *fuck*

Legitimately haven't written a single piece of code in months... I feel truly broken!

Haven't even done my usual of prototyping 456 things and then immediately shelving them, maybe it's time to get back in the game

I ONLY WANT TO WRITE MY OWN CODE

TODAY I FOUND OUT I HATE DOING PR REVIEWS AND HAVING TO GO BACK AND FORTH WITH PEOPLE ABOUT WHAT THEY DID IN THEIR CODE

I'm sure it's beneficial, but it FEELS like such a waste of time

Oh my God I'm a failure. Been working on this booking system backend for two weeks, refactored some code, and now it doesn't work at all.

I've gone back through the entire thing, and I can't find the problem.

Open up indeed, start browsing for low-skill jobs. Maybe the carnies will have me back!

*Re-reads error message, adds missing underscore to function call.

For the past 45 days I've been the sole developer of a standalone Java application and doing some ops only, now I'm getting back to the spaghetti php bullshit they call code and for the past 5 minutes I could fell the depression striking back...

OMFG. Here's a self-rant for you all...

So, working on a JS library to build widgets, I five across some weird behaviour where I expect `$.ajax.apply()` to pass something to the chained `.done()` method, but it comes out differently.

Fuck. Right, time to visit StackOverflow and glean some knowledge.

I post a question, complete with examples and descriptions and a little midget unicorn in the corner for world peace.

Come back a bit later to see what's happened, and nobody understands my damn question!

So I proceed to debate a few points with some other devs, going back and forth for a while, but still nobody knows what I'm asking.

Fuck. Time for a JSFiddle...

Copy code from the jQuery docs and start modifying it to show what I was working with... Now suddenly is all working as the docs say.

O.o

So I go look back at my own code again to try work out what's actually going on.

Turns out I completely missed MY OWN CODE.

Fuck me.

!rant

I came back from a wedding party this morning, went to bad very drunk, my mind was rotating with my eyes closed, but surprisingly I was able to think about JavaScript code I am about to write for a project.

Several months ago, I wrote the most beautiful Java code of my life. It was shelved and never merged because it added minimal overhead to every call on the system (I'm talking super small relative to the functionality it provided). I've been asked to resurrect it, but master is too different, so I'll have to rewrite it all. 😭 Since that code, I've been doing research and prototypes - nothing production, and looking back on this old code nearly brings me to tears. I might actually get back to writing code that people will use.

I'm just really emotional about it, and I don't know why.

I got my first gig as an android developer a couple of months back.

Today, my changes got merged into candidate, soon to be released.

Although they are mostly bug fixes, I feel proud that code written by me will be rolled out to 400000 users. :')

Told to work on a ticket with a partner. Partner changes my code to what they wanted. Review comes back and partner has to change back to my format.

*sips juice coz I love the violence*

New dev hired to assist me told the boss that he was going to refactor the code to improve stability.

He converted all my fragments into activities. Because he didn't understand working with the back stack. Now everyone is asking me what happened.

Reads horrible code
Opens DevRant to rant about it
Reads some stories
Ok, better mood, I can continue working now.
What was my planned rant about again? Ah, it can't be that bad.
Goes back to the code: Oh no, it is that bad...

Before devRant:

* Sit back and enjoy the night watching series/movies*
* Chills in the weekends*
- It's nice to code at work
😊

After devRant:

*anxiety building up*
*start sweating*
Should I code all time?
(0_0')
When I get home I'll start a project

Working on a compiler which Convert JavaScript Code to Purescript Code Which Complie back to JavaScript.

I don't understand this decision of my Manager

After long hours of intensive coding and no caffeine, goto bed because u realise it's 2AM. Wake up next day, look back at the came code, "what the hell was I tryin to do!"

Back where I used to work, we had this a-hole call center guy who isn't a programmer but got promoted as our team leader. He said he used to program on his early days at the company (?) . He claims that made back-ups of his source code in MS Word and even tries to gives us a lecture about backing up programs.
I really hate those a-wipes who often get promoted and suddenly goes up to their heads

The ability to remember exactly where I was in the code and what I was thinking when I come back to it.

dress code really brings me to the reality of going back to the office

I’m on a screen share watching an offshore associate copy code from my email to the target script...

... by switching back and forth between windows and typing in the code...

Is COPY-PASTE a little too advanced for this team???

Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure no java code should be able to jump from the if block to the else block, and then back to the if statement, ahen trying to initialize an object

Interestingly enough, the worst JavaScript code I’ve ever had to deal with was written by back-enders coming from a Java background. The app was unusable and it took me a few weeks to put it back on track.
So is JS the culprit, or is it the elite backend community that fails to even try to make good use of it? 🤡

“We mob every thing so that means we don’t need pull requests, because by the time the code is committed it’s had plenty of pairs of eyes on it”

Well, I beg to differ.
Today I read through some of this spaghetti mobbed code to look into a performance issue. Wasn’t supposed to but bored stiff so I ‘went dark’ and did it without the mob.

After about an hour I figured out it runs a few lines of dubious code and if there’s an error it tries many times over with an exponential back off.
And each run of the methods will fail for sure because of how it’s written.
Someone must’ve seen this problem but instead of realising it can never work, they’ve wrapped it in retries and back offs.

So many back offs and retries that it just sits there doing this for 25 minutes.

But yeah. The mobbing works great guys, keep churning out this quality code. 😂😂😂
Can’t wait to see the back of this joke job.

@dfox add a onBackPressed function and while exit make the code to double press the back button to exit.

Mistakenly clicked back button, now I hate my life.

After I went on vacation, I came back to find that my offshore team had refactored a bunch of my code, tripling the size of it and grossly over-complicating the flow... ugh.

When you are outside taking a walk with your family, but all you can do is fantasizing about running back inside to code.

What was the most rubbish developer you had worked with?

I will go first , once I worked with a Dev who used dashes for naming variables (eg _ = 'a' , __ = 'b', ___='c'), placing every everything in the main class . We were working on android (java) project back then. He decided to place everytime in the main activity, rewriting redundant functions. And he never use git, he literally use hard-disk and Google drive to back up his code which made us difficult to know which part of code he wrote. I quit working there because he was the Senior Project Manager.

I was wondering why every time my my code is accessing the !valid() part to later realize I was coming back to it = its state is reset = I need a break T_T

P.S. if you find anything in my code make sure to let me know :)

Yesterday was a day off so I developed a vue, vuex , laravel application. Today back to work and start writing some shity code!

The way I was told to write unit tests was particularly terrible.

No mocking of objects or dependencies so the tests ran the actual code in full including updating databases and files. Then at the end of each test there was code to restore all changes back to before the test.

Each test ended up being over 100 lines. Madness.

code not working?
comment code and try to run
uncomment piece by piece
code back to original
running...

apparently, the code didn't know it was right

Found this beautiful piece of code, that I wrote apparently a year ago .... oh my 😂 🤦‍♂ 😅
If I could travel back in time, I would would slap myself for doing this. Although I remember, why I did this, because of many min()/max() operations that I needed. I wanted to keep the code, so that I would know, which code piece belonged to which part, but man ... is that badly written! Nowadays with Clean Code style, I would certainly do it differently.

So I don't want to code again (or do anything, at all). I think my burnout is back. Send help!

that moment when you're driving home and suddenly figure out your bug and don't know when you are able to come back to your code (and have no remote access)...

And here I am, back to DevRant, to post some crazy code from the new refactoring project I'm on.

Want to get back to your code the next day?

Leave it a little messy.

You know you fucked up when you have to finish your code for the 8 am and you are drunk in the street, point for me (sorry for the back bad English, I'm drunk and my language is the Spanish)

*opens the code of an old project still running today*
*see the horror spaghetti code*
*decide to modernize it with good code and practices learned by the years*
*can fucking decide where to start *
*réalise it is impossible *
*rewrite it from scratch in a few hours*
*be proud*

It's really rewarding to go back to old projects and give them a good hug. You réalise then you really got better

In my case, low motivation is usually caused by askholes who bitch about broken AF code, which ALWAYS turns out to be theirs, infected with their own idiocy.

Definition: ASKHOLE
- A Person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them.

Pretending I'm in back-to-back meetings & general avoidance (when possible) seems to work.

Getting sent home from work because I fucked my back and I've never hated sitting down so much, so painful...

Won't even be able to sit at my desk and code :'-(

Arch I want to love you. But you're so freaking unstable and I just want to code in peace without you freaking out every week about config files being screwed up. Why can't we have the stability of more mainstream distros AND the Pacman package manager + AUR? Some of us have to code for a living you know.

I'm really tempted to just go back to Debian to set it and forget it. PPA's be damned.

Embarrassment: when you ask a new hire to refactor some poorly written code, and he runs 'git blame' to find out that you were the OC. Cummon, that was more than an year back!

Going through the conversation for xxxxth time with my business partner, why we will not launch a new product on top of pre-made PHP script / plugin.

Just got our company into TDD, and automated QA via CI server & code checks etc, PLEASE stop trying to drag us back into the land of spaghetti code & bug legions in production. That's all thxbye.

Continuation of the issue I had yesterday, and a realization of just HOW FRICKING STUPID C++ could be. Basically, yesterday my code for class was skipping a line of user input code, I checked the code for hours to see if I missed anything, if anything was out of scope, both input's I was using were back to back and absolutely identical all the way from the implementation both equaling "\0" and I couldn't figure why only one of the input lines were being ignored. Out of desperation posted the code on here (see my last post). Welp, I finally fixed it, and BOY AM I SO SIMPLE. cin.ignore().

TL;DR
Dumb issue, dumb solution (in my opinion)

You all know that these AI dev tools are reading your code right?

It is sending it back to a data center and doing evaluations on the code. This is like handing your code to an unknown entity with no guarantees for privacy or copyright protection.

This concept bothers me and I would have to consult with my employer to even determine if we wanted to take that risk. I think it is just a matter of time before a bad actor takes advantage of this and rips off a company somewhere.

- Writes a short decent code. Doesn't work.
- Refactores it with variables and function. Automatically works.
- Changes back to the original form. Freaking works now.

Wtf.!!!
Oh! The lord of bugs and errors, have mercy on me.

So the last 2 devs who I really looked up to and respected at my company peaced out within the last 2 months. So I began seriously chasing offers while the market was hot. The new bigwigs that were brought in at the company knew I was one of the biggest flight risks, so they threw more money at me without me asking for it.

I just got an offer from a company that I really like that matched the salary that I was bumped to - to them it exceeds my expectations because they did not know about this preemptive bump.

Best part is, I applied to this company on my own, the old fashioned way. No recruiter as my hype person or negotiator. I made a good impression on them myself.

No, wait, the real best part - they offered me a senior level role after seeing my code in a day-long working interview (virtual of course). I mean I had to do some shit with RabbitMQ, which I had heard about and seen in passing, but never worked with before, which to my own surprise, I got working in a matter of a few hours. Blows my mind that someone outside of my old company actually thinks I'm good.

No, wait, the REAL real best part: I've spent the last 4 years - a large majority of my professional career - at my current company. I experienced a lot of growth, but they shoehorned me into a development manager role, which bummed me out as i found myself getting farther and farther away from the code. I'm so excited to get a fresh start and go back to spotify + code for 10 hours a day.

> Seeing ugly code and annotating to find out who the hell wrote that.

> Seeing your own name.

> Going back to what you were doing...

Watch Anime! Not exactly to motivate myself to code but to give a break for some time(eventually getting motivation back after some time) 🇯🇵

A stressful day trying to untangle some speghetti code I wrote a while back.

On train home. Time to relax

By programming some C code.

Finally, I got my laptop back after 4 gruelling days of separation with a new disc and more RAM!!!
I can't wait to finish up installing all the programmes I need to start writing code!!!

Feeling the pressure of writing back-end code for a golang microservice, after a year of fulltime front-end developement. Each commit feels like you're close to cause a bomb to detonate.

!rant First code review in the new team, came back with list of helpful suggestions and constructive criticisms. Yep I'm going to like it here. Excited to be learning from the bests.

I’m on a screen share watching an offshore associate copy code from my email to the target script...

... by switching back and forth between windows and typing in the code...

Is COPY-PASTE a little to advanced for this team???

IMAGINE. Your code is working in the 1st attempt.
Wow, Amazing, Cool
Now go back to first word.......👀👀😑😑😑😑😑

We just found out that refactoring our code -base is no longer optimal for the health of the company because our deadlines are too tight. We'll get back to refactoring in a year.

Loving to code has brought me more back-pains than success.

I've been writing Java the last few days. Really makes me remember why I enjoy writing objective c / swift so much. It's not necessarily the crazy syntax of objective c. It's the conventions behind the languages. It's very easy to make your code read like prose. Which when you become used to this it's very hard to jump back into spaghetti code with abbreviated variable names and such.

Been working on a back-end server for one of my apps. Then I discovered Firebase. The way I code apps will change forever now. I've deleted all my back-end code and migrated to Firebase.
Firebase is like the new Parse.io, I love it

Every month I re-evaluate the code I had written previously to compare my progress in coding standards...
Turns out I need a time machine to go back in time and slap myself

! Rant

Today i had to revisit my code to change some functionality for an application i made 3 years back.

I wish i could go back in time, refactor the code and write Unit tests.

When you look back at your shit spaghetti code you only wrote 3 days ago, and you don't know whether to laugh or cry.😆😢

24 PR
Giving back little gifts of code for Christmas 🎄

24pullrequests.com

Yayy!! Hoping to have a productive PR-full December✨

Oof, scope creep

Come back to an 8 month old project and I can't update the website because something in webpack needs something in python to compile... Um why. Literally just a poster with some images and a markdown parser.

So I spent 5 hours and 850 lines of code later modernizing the code and... I have the same website again but now it compiles. Woo?

I got handed over a project that has hundreds of lines of commented codes, some dating back to 2013. I am then told not to delete those as we "might need them". WHAT DO YOU NEED A 4 YEAR OLD COMMENTED CODE FOR???

1. start up my monitors, have one monitor streaming news while the other one is browsing devRant.

2. drink an ungodly amount of caffeine

3. crash so hard that I have an excuse not to code and go back to bed.

*Back to the school days* Once a friend of mine successfully defended a simple program written in whitespace. Yes, he had to explain the source code to the teacher.

Completed a project in summer for a client based on Laravel and kept working on other projects based on same framework. Today went back to add some functionality ended up feeling miserable looking at my own code. Don't know how to feel about this.

Does anyone keep a journal as they develop code? Something to keep track of ones thought process so that you understand what you were thinking when you come back to it? I know most people just use comments, but does anyone use something different?

Am I the only one who re-writes almost every project 2-3 times because you find new ways to code sth. or when you are lookin' back at your code when you have to implement sth. new and you have no idea 'what-does-what' ? :/

Me at work: ow hey, are you still using that version? I already made two new versions since last week..

So we have this team that deploys some code. We had a change in that code that "we" forgot about. Turns out, a dev on our team decided it would be cool to rename an endpoint. Why? Great question. Because. So this code gets deployed, but the call to that endpoint didn't get deployed. System 2 tries to call the endpoint, 404. We roll back, we're searching, after like an hour, we find it. We go to TFS to see who did it. The dev grabs my keyboard and starts checking diffs, somehow managing to skip their commit (from 5 months earlier). I take back my keyboard and *surprise* it was the commit that was skipped. WTF? Why did you rename that endpoint? What do you mean you didn't do it? It has your name right there!

So, I joined a hardware company as a software developer few months back. I'm working on a c++ code base with thousands of files and no idea what the code is supposed to do.

I got one overview of what the product is supposed to do, which contains mostly electrical engineering jargon that I have no clue about.

Now my manager wants me fix a bug in this code. I have no clue what the expected behaviour is and no documentation whatsoever, and literally no one in the entire country who understands the code.

Me: Wrote and unit testing code for a user story.

Day of a Merge
PO: We need to back out the code you wrote. We have not gotten approval from legal.

Me: Uhhh well it's not going live for 4 weeks still and not harming anything but if you insist, ok.....

2 Days Later
PO: Ok legal approved the changes can you put that back in?

Me: 😡🖕🏻

The moment when you can't get something working for the love of God, you call a colleague who suggest the simplest and already tried out solution, which magically now works.

Then he goes back to his place and your code breaks again.

Wrote code, tested it, and pushed to production for the first time in 3 months.

Great {diety} in {afterLifeLocation} it felt so goooooood to get back to developing.

I just want to code.

Literally a fresh install of manjaro.

Well... Back to antargros!

Just got my Linux dev environment set up, even got an alias working that would launch all the software I needed to test my code. Then today decided to change primary drives. At least I know how to set it back up next time, right?

Code in index.php: if(!isset($_COCKIE['access'] == '123') {
echo 'Denied'; die;
}

And then there was the access.php which set the cookie.

So you had to go to foo.com/access.php which displayed a white page and set the cookie. Then navigate back to foo.com for access

Been trying to update some really old C++ piece of code.
And all the comments and variable names are in FR*NCH.
Apparently they didn't had accents in the keyboards back then, because they used stars instead.
Makes it really hard to tell commented code from French comments.

Obs: I don't speak nor can read French. Neither does anyone in my team.

Note: this is a joke, it's not code related.

Someone goes to a restaurant, and he asks what they got, and the reply to him: "we have a crochet leg, a chopped liver and ligaments"

He says back: "don't tell me about your problems" XD

Today a senior developer and a colleague started looking into my code reviews and started commenting best practices that were never used in the team.
Got my chance back at the senior developer's code when he raised a code review, which had none of the best practices.
Gave back a good set of review comments to him :D
Karma is a boomerang :)

Always fun to come back to an older project to update stuff only to find your IDE and SDK updates have broke your old code base and you now need to debug and update a lot more then you initially wanted to. 😣

Can we all please try to keep emotion out of coding? It never ever helps to get upset at a code review.

Please please please accept constructive criticism, and dish it back to me! You can hate my code just don't hate me. :/

In school i had to do a simple HTML site(i was 13 back then). And i started writting it in guess what... Notepad
Thats how i felt in love with bare code

So today 1st April is the only date you can say mean things back to your coworker and say "April's Fool"

Eg. "Hey your code like spaghetti with sauce , go get ketchup, btw April's fool".

I HATE it when client does not know what he wants. Removed a functionality only to be added back again with all the ripples going through the code¡¡¡¡¡

ARGH¡¡¡¡¡¡ FUCK ME

Where's my exclamation mark u shitty SwiftKey keyboard¿¿¿¿

for one split second I thought I had discovered a way to manage multiple states with one reducer function in react,

turns out it was a bug in my code,

I had already gone to brag about it on my react group chat, until I went back to my code and as I was cleaning up and closing brackets and all that stuff, my new feature stopped working.

I need to find that bug

been golanging.

had to check Java code.

was thrown back, like
wait a minute... (visible cofusion)

Getting back to the cpp applet I started somewhat recently (Vanilla + Gentoo kernel version checker)...

Me: "debugging c plus plus code"
Dictation: "f***ing c++ code"
...
Well, it's not too far off.

Long days back it was time taking to hack wifi password using coding on Linux kali ,by using few lines of codes etc,,

Nowadays Linux's kali's fern wifi cracker is too easy to use instead of using lines of code.
LOVE TO USE LINUX KALI

When you come back from work after filling up jira, talking with colleagues during too long stand ups and writing documentation it's time to finally sit down and write some pure code.

When you spend 2 days debugging .Net code even though you're not a .Net developer because the higher ups think everyone should be language agnostic. Never though I'd hear myself longing to go back to JS.

One of the DB guys at work writes DB packages like this:

- open package in PL/SQL developer
- copy code to notepad
- edit PL/SQL code in notepad (yes, fucking windows notepad)
- copy and paste back from notepad to PL/SQL developer
- commit

Everytime I see him edit DB packages I can feel my brain mass shrinking.

5k lines of code and some long days in and it turns out UI and I (backend) had an oopsie in our communication so it was all for nothing. Back to 0😖

The nice thing about being a developer? Learning something new every day. The worst thing about being a developer? Going back to the code you wrote before learning these new things.