The sacred archives

Santa is just a glorified sprint master

Me: Enables USB debugging, plugs in phone
ADB: Doesnt see phone
Windows: Doesnt have drivers
Me: Downloads drivers
Windows: Nah
Me: Tells windows to use drivers
Windows: Naah
Me: Tells windows where drivers are
Windows: Naaah no drivers there

Frequently used answers :)

UI developer - I think API is not working
Backend developer - Front end is not sending the request correctly
Tester - Testing! Testing!
UI/UX - As per android/ios standards...
QA - Let me check one more time
PM - Let us have another meeting and get on the same page
Dev-Ops - It's very complicated you know
CTO - We're working on a next-gen solution
Founder - Let us build something that no one has built, something similar to what google...facebook...

Cridits: My EX-CPO

Nope, it's not your fault. It's the compiler :)

My duck wanna be luchador. Some Mexico code review is coming.

Next ducks will arrive soon :D

Have a Merry X-Mas, and for those that are offended by that wish ....

Just went clubbing in a stackoverflow tshirt 😂😂😂😂😂

Okay so literally the first time I want to donate money to Wikipedia because they've been a great help over the years I click on PayPal and I get a 502 page

Yeah... Thanks

My team lead thinks using a double Not operator in javascript is too confusing and not readable.

Opinions?

Website redirected successfully

RELATIVE: You know about computers, right?

ME (Has a degree is Computer Science): No

Agreed! Gilfoyle

[Interviewer] : How would you use MySQL?

[Student] : your SQL? Can I get mine so that I can use it?

[Interviewer] * confused what to say *

So True...

My girlfriend gifted me this custom made mug on my birthday

We all know this... 😂

This sprint was documentation:
- documentation

Check this!!

Do you know watermelon is 50% water?

The other 50% is melon.

Thanks for reading this, now continue at what you were doing.

Web devs suck at math !
Thank you for reading.

Fuck XCode! -
Yesterday I had the stupid idea to rename an icon file. Checked that XCode was building the application still fine. Ran it over the build server: Failed, complaining about the old missing icon file! Checked again and again, but there was no friggin' reference to the old file in the whole repo.
Log in to the machine clear the build folder and try to build the component again. Bang still same error and the references to no longer existing files reappear.
Turns out XCode was caching those references somewhere in the home directory as "DerivedData" and after deleting those, I could build again... but why on earth are you building a cache if you cannot properly invalidate it? Just to waste our time?
(@xcodesucks)

So, who's still on jdk 7 or 8?
Man I'm so out of date!
When did they come out of so many versions?
And imagine the Java docs!
Now I know how Javascript devs feel

what is your favorite food

[Me at night]

1 Me: should I sleep?
2 Brain: right after finishing this module
3 Me: <drinking coffee>
4 goto 1

Every time I have to write this, it feels like I have to pick a name for my new RPG character that took 5 hours to customize.

git commit -m "..."

Starting winter holidays in 3, 2, 1,...

If a developer made a database design choice (too short field length) 3 years ago on a project, should the development studio or customer be expected to fit the bill for any time taken to fix.

It was only small so we did it for free, but I just wandered what's the norm?

null vs undefined

"Did you really buy a macbook to put ubuntu on it?"
"Wow why would you use such an overpriced piece of garbage just to put linux on it?'
"You made the worst choice of hardware to put ubuntu on"

Maybe, just maybe, I didn't fucking buy it myself and I got it from work? Maybe I didn't fucking pay a dime to get a laptop to put ubuntu on it? Ever considered that I got it for fucking free and have the privilege to do what I want with it?

Go fuck yourself if your first assumption is that I would actually buy a macbook just to erase MacOS from it

Yes, Google is my friend, but is there anything out there that aesthetically better looking than a MacBook pro, I'm suffering trying to find something out there that I like and that's as solid...

In all cases I'll be running Linux on the machine, but can't find something that pulls off great performance and aesthetically pleasing at the same time..