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# did you use internet while writing the codes for the questions?
* Yeah, I just took some help and...
# you can't take help from the internet. It's a rule. Have you not read it? Go through the rules of Toptal again and...
Rest I forgot -_-
TL;DR their rules4
Guy: *hands me sheet of paper* What does this code do?
Me: *looks through code written on the paper* Well, most likely segfault.
Not a question per se but an assignment -
Design an application that could find logs between two timestamps where the logs are stored in 10000 files, each with a file size of ~16GB.
For an entry level position this was a really good and interesting problem to solve.11
Found a guy working at Microsoft with this bio.
"Software Engineer at Microsoft. Loves Linux, the cloud, Vim, and DevOps. But mostly Linux"
Like come on Microsoft, even they choose Linux over Windows26
Oh boy, prepare for the shenanigans of the professors I had in College and some instructors I had in my previous jobs.
Professor in networking subject picks a different student each day to lead the prayer before the start of his class. "Angel of jod, my garden deer.."
Professor in electronics is kind of a pervert and there's always that one too-old-for-College student with huge tits beside him even though she has no subject with him.
Professor in programming language X (I forgot) talks trash about her students. One of my classmates overheard her call me cocky for having a thesis that is a little more ambitious than another point-of-sale system (something that so many students have been doing that time).
Menopausal professor in whatever programming -related subject I forgot about would blow up and dumb down her students for no reason. One time was precious. She asked a dumbass question on what "scope and limitation" means. I answered her. She was annoyed and said it was wrong then explained it in the exact words I did. The class went silent and she became a joke.
Delusional instructor from the hellhole company talked about their dev team as if they're so elite and that I should be thankful to be given a chance to become a dev since my first experience was in support back then. A few months in, I was the one teaching her super elite team how to do shit because their "development" is nothing but drag-and-drop, bind this and that, and some small Python scripts.
Before that and when I just started with them, she made me the instructor for the new batch of trainees. Mind you, the system is new to me so I thought, "Okay, I guess she wants to assess or challenge me this way." She presented herself as my mentor but when I have questions about the requirements, she'd get annoyed. One time, I sent her my presentation and you can hear her keyboard clacking hard and I receive a furious message about how I did things wrong. I was like, "Huh?" A few minutes later, she says "My bad, it was correct."
I swear, the amount of people I had to work with that has this stupid nonsense tantrums decreased my tolerance for such human emotional garbage that shouldn't be present at school, in the workplace, or any non-personal setting especially with instructors. These days, one minor attitude problem and I'm already writing a draft to the HR, browsing new jobs, and keeping my distance.
So yeah, my definition of terrible is misplaced high emotional garbage. Someone who doesn't know much could be good enough, bad, or incompetent but certainly not my definition of terrible.7
Why do most programmers use dark theme instead of light theme?
Because light attracts bug.
source: comment section of https://youtu.be/31HfP81oWDI6
It's funny how I now have:
- 45 days of paid vacation which means I can be gone for two months (maybe not in one go)
- My employer pays for the travel expenses
- I'm working remotely
- There's internet almost anywhere
- Our client has a shitload of holidays
- I don't have a micro-managing manager or guilt-tripping colleagues
And yet here I am, unable to file a leave without feeling guilty about it because I just took a vacation last December and despite some work-related annoyances, my colleagues are pretty kind compared to the poltergeists I used to work with. It's not like I can go anywhere these days anyway.
But at least that's a reminder that work life is improving together with the benefits package. That's another item on the checklist, move somewhere where going on frequent vacations is the norm.20
How most recruiter emails go these days:
- Hiring multiple senior lead engineers <— That’s me
- 180k+ <— I like it.
- Must have experience with AWS, GCE, AND Azure <— Okay, you’re looking for a unicorn
- Kubernetes expert
- Experience with Rust, Node, and .NET <— What type of fucking company are you?
- Must be on call and 25% travel <— Why?
- Preferred: experience with printer repair, Raid Arrays, CAT5, and Microsoft Access <— Y’all fucked up somewhere a long time ago. I’m out.19
Someone ask me this today,
"Just out of curiosity, those people have split personality are equivalent 2 people in a body right? Will they get double pay for each personality ??? Because they are hiring two people in a body , right ""4
Someone, I have no idea who, commented on my personal project that he wanted to pick up one of the issues.
Then, he followed through and fixed it and sent a PR.
Feels good man.3
My god, I wanted to help a coworker fixing his ubuntu installation, but a famous pornstar seems like a virgin next to this. Yeet and reinstall5
2nd week on a new job, already been assigned smaller Jira tickets to work on.
But it takes me awhile to figure it out and close the ticket, coz it’s React and I’m completely new to it and I feel I have no idea what I’m doing.
Imposter syndrome hitting hard5
Licensing is so freaking weird and stupid.
I mean, I just forked this repo with an Apache license, so I could update a .json file.
"You must cause any modified files to carry prominent notices stating that You changed the files"
Plain JSON allows no comments.
I'm going to jail.30
me: import express from 'express';
my IDE: quick fix: remove import express from 'express'; ('express' is declared but its value is never read.)
me: // you don't say, as I only just started typing!6
*18 year old me VS computer lab teacher*
So, have you decided on a project?
Uh, I'm gonna draw some sprites and make them kill each other
That's not a good project
You said we could pick anything we wanted?
Well, that's what I want to work on.
I don't like it... how about a webpage?
Hmmm, how about no?
You'll fail this class
Fine by me.
ARRRHHGHGHGHHG!! JUST DECIDE ON A PROJECT AND GET TO WORK!
*a month later*
And so, have you decided on a project?
Oh yes, I hacked this together over the last couple weeks.
WHAT IS THAT?!
Oh, that's a templar. He commits mass genocide in the name of God.
I TOLD YOU to work on a project!
A-há, you said I could work on anything I wanted.
Yes, but not this.
What's wrong with it? It's just a game.
I don't like it, pick something else.
Wait. You want me to CHOOSE what I want to work on or you're going to pick the project for me?
You're SUPPOSED to pick your own project!
Well, you already had me do silly cutesy webpages for two years in a row. How about I do something a little bit more metal this time around?
I swear to God, you'll fail this class
And so? Have you decided yet?
Yes! I added some archers and walls yesterday, look at the arrows fly!
YOU'LL FAIL THIS CLASS IF YOU KEEP IT UP
Keep what up? Programming?
NO, WASTING MY TIME
Fine. What do YOU want me to do?
Anything you want... just decide on a project already!
But I did... I want to work on this...
That's NOT a good project
Then I can't work on what I want
Yes you can. Just pick another project!
Mmm... something 3D with Unity, maybe?
How about a rogue clone?
WELL, then I CANT work on what I want. You say I can, but you don't like ANY of the projects I pick. *i was kinda crying here*
You CAN work on whatever you want, just MAKE A WEBPAGE!
*and next week*
Please tell me you've started an ACTUAL project already...
Can I see it?
You're still writing that stupid game, aren't you?
*sighs* alright, have it your way. But remove the blood spurts, please.
YES, OF COURSE. THANK YOU MISS.
*did NOT remove the blood spurts*
*totally FAILED that class*
*dropped highschool altogether*
Me today, unemployed: WORTH IT.21
"What the fuck is this file even for? Let's see who made it"
You, 2 years ago | 1 author (You)
I once worked until 8am to get a demo ready for a client of the client. I knew the client was a bit thick, so I made some comprehensive video demos and sent them over to him, to save him trying to demo it himself. I wake up at 11am with him screaming down the phone at me:
“It doesn’t work, none of it works!”
“What do you mean?”
“I go to login and I can’t enter anything.”
“I haven’t sent you anything to log into...wait, are you trying to log into a video? Tell me you’re not trying to log into a video of a login page.”
“Uh...oh hang on, it just worked. Ok no pr-“
“No wait, what do you mean it worked?”
“I logged in fine.”
“It’s a video. You can’t log into a video.”
“Uh...alright, bye mate, thanks!”
The moral of the story is: never assume any level of intelligence on the part of a client, even if they exhibit signs of it at first. If they are paying you they will forget how to tie their own shoelaces.17
PR reviews, people leave great comment, some suggestions and there could be a discussion.
But please don't be the person who goes there and add those weird and useless comments such: "CI failed, your PR is behind dev branch..."
That's the role of the provider(Github, Bitbucket.....) and adding that comment is just a waste of time.
This start to happen more often and I had to rant about it :D2
My first dev job evolved from an internship and ended with me screaming “fuck” at people for a few months until they finally got sick of it and gave me the boot. It was a fair call 😂1
Two mobile devs were talking for 10 minutes in this zoom meeting whether "the component on the bottom should be hidden, or made sticky".
I just could not contain my laughter any longer when they showed an animated mockup comparison, and the product manager yelled excitedly: "Oh yeah, I love the one where it's very visible and sticky! But could you make it bigger for me?"
Sorry HR. I will never become a grown up boy.6
I've been constantly switching between my Linux PC and Mac. What a pain in the ass. Why can't they have same keyboard layout?
Don't hate me for this but linux seems more productive to me. Mostly because of the ease of use and the shortcuts. I mean yeah I can create new shortcuts and stuff for my Mac but why should I bother? Any productivity tips for mac?7
So I told my wife one week ago: "Yeah, you should totally learn to code as well!"
Yesterday a package arrived, containing a really beautiful hardcover book bound in leather, with a gold foil image of a snake debossed into the cover, with the text "In the face of ambiguity -- Refuse the temptation to guess" on it.
Well, OK, that's weird.
My wife snatches it and says: "I had that custom made by a book binder". I flip through it. It contains the Python 3.9 language reference, and the PEP 8 styleguide.
While I usually dislike paper dev books because they become outdated over time, I'm perplexed by this one, because of how much effort and craftsmanship went in to it. I'm even a little jealous.
So, this morning I was putting dishes into the dishwasher, and she says: "Please let me do that". I ask: "Am I doing anything wrong?"
Wife responds: "Well, it's not necessarily wrong, I mean, it works, doesn't it? But your methods aren't very pythonic. Your conventions aren't elegant at all". I don't think I've heard anyone say the word "pythonic" to me in over a decade.
And just now my wife was looking over my shoulder as I was debugging some lower level Rust code filled with network buffers and hex literals, and she says: "Pffffff unbelievable, I thought you were a senior developer. That code is really bad, there are way too many abbreviated things. Readability counts! I bet if you used Python, your code would actually work!"
I think I might have released something really evil upon the world.30