* Starts work with boss
* Works till night
* Decide to continue the next day
* Both leave work at the same time
* Both arrive at work next day at the same time

"Hey is the work done?"

Oh forgive me for not fucking dreaming up the work in my fucking sleep.

Why Apple developer are up at night?

Does anyone actually use the searchbar on StackOverflow? All these years of development and I still haven't used it.

People index their .env files on search engines LMAO

Stuck in the car driving mum today...

She’s concerned about my little brother’s education and asks me “Is it okay to study I.T at University?”

I just turn and look at her like you’ve got to be kidding me. “Mum I’m studying I.T”

The conversation continues with:
What jobs are there in I.T?
What are you going to do with I.T?
You should become a teacher and I’ll open a tutoring centre for you!

*sigh*

The collegue who I hang out with has resigned.. we together were known as the only Innovators of the project... Now suddenly My manager's behaviour towards has changed... He has started to treat me with real care as if Inam his son... 😂😂😂 The bastard is thinking I might resign as well 😏😏😏😏

So apparently two "senior" "laravel-engineers" spent a total billed 35 hours trying to figure out a "critical bug" which "doesn't happen locally".

I went to the dev-console, saw it is generating http urls (fronted by cloudflare https, running on http server-side) and fixed that in maybe ~15 minutes, fucking morons.

2 junior programmers doing code review for each other

Client: I have lost everything on the cloud holy crap!

Me: Are you signed into your google drive, and within the folder?

Client: No, how do i do that again? I obviously cant be bothered reading your well formated and instructional guide and would rather contact you at 6pm on a saturday night

It's alive (:

I have NEVER had a trust issues with a hard-working developer. It is always good to have someone you know would move heaven and earth to solve a problem, if demanded. It was a privilege to have worked with a handful of them.

PS: If your team doesn't have one such, either be one or change the team/company!

Slack update notes are by far the funniest out there.

I was about to ask my manager to roll me out off the project in my company.. it has been 4 years .... Yesterday he came and told me he is going to give me an big fat Raise !

There’s a new macOS update..
-install now
-install later

Me: install now..

Os: there’s another account active, blah blah blah.. please accept our new GPL..

Me: fair enough.. accept GPL..

OS again: Hi blah blah, same message..

Me: ok I’ll try „do it later“..

Os: there’s another account active, blah blah blah.. GPL..

Me: go fuck your self, fuck your overpriced hardware, go guck your software that’s way worse than it was 5 years ago, go fuck YOU!!!

OS: I know I suck, but we don’t Care. So please accept our new GPL.

Thanks apple for becoming what Microsoft was 10 years ago..,

🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

Working with a developer from another company, nominally called Jo. I had a programming session with Jo today.

Sometimes it's hard to succinctly describe an individual developers level of aptitude in highly technical fields to outsiders because it often requires a lot of context relating to the problem being solved and their attempts to solve it.

In this case I think it could be pretty accurately summarised in this little anecdote: there was a 10 second pause in our work today while Jo was trying to figure out how to type '<'

Extreme end of earth. flat earth proved! Revolutionary day for flat earthers.

Fuck I love my job, my boss and I are absolute food fanatics and talk about weird and wonderful things we cook...

He knows I bloody love curry so he brought some in for me to have for lunch and he's bringing me a shit load of fresh grown vegetables...

And to think I chose IT over being a chef.... (Still no regrets)

Random quote: "Be a rainbow in someone's cloud"
Me: "Like rainbow as a service?" 😁😋😆

fuck coworkers who will still disturbed you even you have your earphones on, just to debate you if you know the difference between a class and an object.

(also talks confidently and loud enough to attract other officemates attention.)

Turns out that this same asshole doesn't know what he is talking about. Then you proved him wrong , and in the end he will just copy what you are saying. In other words all the time wasted for nothing! fck

fuck these kind of people. my productivity suffers, also they look like fools.

fuck these assholes who are very specific in technical names and jargons but dont know how to use it. fuck you all arrogant asshole dipshit mdfckrr feeling superior and annoying

sorry peeps argghh

can someone give me a hug

It's like github but for your happiness

Today is not friday, but tomorrow is a national holiday here in Portugal, so it's a friday for me ✌️

Only fourty more minutes for a three day weekend!!

Omg, when does the Stupid stop? New Zealand just passed a law that empowers immigration officials to compel travellers to unlock their devices. Otherwise, you pay a hefty fine. They are also allowed to copy the data and do God knows what with.

The horrible invasion of privacy aside, it also brings with it some legal hurdles. What if you are making a presentation or report to an investor or someone you have a fiduciary obligation with. You are carrying IP bound by several NDA's and other funding red tape that would end your life if it got out. Are you in breach if the data gets copied by the gov officials? Worse yet you have zero control over what they do afterwards.

I don't think any of this inspires investor confidence.

Government needs to stop touching things!

GUYS I HAVE PI UPVOTES

Had a discussion with a developer about security. His software transfers all user data (password and files) unencrypted, so anyone can grab them with wireshark. I told him that this is a severe issue. He said no its no problem because if you get hacked its your own fault, because you probably used an insecure network. NO ! YOU FUCKING MALADJUSTED SHEEP-MOLESTING OBJECT OF EXECRATION, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS ENCRYPT SENSITIVE USERDATA NO MATTER WHAT NETWORK YOU USE. FUCKING KILL ME ALREADY.
Not implementing encryption is one thing but then acting like its no problem is a fucking nother one. Why do people not understand that security of userdata is important???

So, California, land of no rain whatsoever.

Until today, where it actually rained!

Also today, a weather applet for tmux started misbehaving. Suspicious.

Coincidence, I think not! Sure enough, stopping that applet from running fixed everything. Turns out, the raining icon breaks the terminal, for some strange reason.

And why had this not been discovered earlier? This had been the first time it had rained for at least 8 months, and I added this only 4 months ago. Thus, it had never had its time to shine.

Yay for strange encoding!

Anyway, I now have a new excuse; blame bad code on global warming.

My coworker just replied to a customer’s out of office email. 😂

“Thank you for letting us know that you will be out of the office” 🤣

The subject of the email is “Re: Automatic reply: Data Export - Items Sold” 🤣🤣🤣

I hate the dumbass people that send on slack: "good morning", "good afternoon" or "how are you?" and do not say anything until I reply. If you do this FUCK YOU!! Just ask the fucking question. Now I just ignore everybody until the question is made

Fixed a high priority bug today just prior to release. There was 100% test coverage. The tests pass both before and after the change. The product behavior is correct now where it wasn't before. Just one more reminder that test coverage does not equate to either quality or correctness. Tests are alarms (at best), and quality of tests are no better an any chunk of code. All tests have costs, but not all have value. All reasons why I am skeptical of the value of code coverage, TDD, or anything that posits that "all tests are good".

Overheard this conversation today:
1: look at this! My shiny new iPhone can measure stuff!
2: how accurate is it?
1: not very, it is pretty buggy.
2: how did the bugs get in there?
3: it is an apple so

I just realised that I've been experiencing a lot of stress and frustration over the last couple of months. I also realised that these feelings of dread and existential anxiety stem from my heavy use of Ubuntu. So I ended another agonizing 3 hours of trying-to-get-internet-access-again-so-I-can-get-some-fucking-work-done and managed to blow off some steam without causing too much property damage. Then I sat down and thought about it. And you know what? I hate Ubuntu.

With Window$ I can at least get some work done without having to write my own network drivers because the current ones do not function when the day of month is a prime number or some shit.