They say it technician support...

This guy with the his car and the car's number plate

Your chatbot...
Credits: Alessandro

"Cannot read property of undefined."
You mom is undefined, bitch!

"Work for me", client said, "I won't pay you but you will get some reputations for working with us" he added.

"Sorry, my body can't digest reputation", I replied.

In Europe, we use € instead of $ in jQuery.

The project that we spent one freaking year on, researching, developing our own hardware and software just got cancelled and I ain't getting paid shit...
https://youtu.be/Dv3eduzcZxc

This is a fucking nightmare! All this motherfucking work for nothing! I think I am going to cry... I mean we still have all the hardware and stuff but we can't do anything with it because is was build for one fucking task and noone would probably buy it because how specific the task that it's made for is. I mean I technically only own the software... anyone interested in buying an Android app that connects to a sensor (that counts stuff) via BLE, processes data from the sensor and uploads it to a database? It can also upload new firmware to the sensor, set basically any parameter and get all kinds of telemetry from it... can't really say what does this sensor count or anything about the hardware (I am not sure if I am allowed to brcause I don't own it - I only got to work on the firmware and the app)

20 minutes of updating stuff.
20 minutes of undoing changes.

Fun with windows.

$ alias sudo='sudo '
(note the intentional space within the quotes, allows using aliases with sudo)

And then:
$ alias fucking=sudo

Allows stuff like:
$ fucking rm /important-stuffs
$ fucking service foobar stop
$ fucking reboot

Enjoy!

Wouldn't be amazing if we could charge like doctors?

User: good morning engie, just here for my checkup.
Engie: everything seems to be working perfectly with your laptop. That would be 70 bucks.

Not comparing professions just a random thought.

Click Edit > Copy, click Edit > Paste.

Every. Single. Time.

proud programmer

I hate pip

I hate Python.

Deploying it is annoying, and the fact that I basically need to create another Python instance via 'virtualenv' only so that projects can co-exist without dependency-issues is maddening.

I would be greatfull for Python 3.6+ at least, but NO we're stuck on Python 2.7

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie when you are also the murderer.

Cannabis.

I was the kind of guy that hated JavaScript 3 years ago. Then my interest on React was awesome, the hard part was understand JavaScript. Now I love javascript

I am programmer for over 1 year and still don't drink coffee and other alcoholic drinks to be energetic😅

Costumer: I found a 40 line python script on Stackoverflow to do that.

Dev team: ok, now... how many lines you think we will need to put the python interpreter, libraries and your 40 line script inside an Android and iOS apps with legacy code?

My rubber duck is not hatching from my rubber egg. I'm starting to worry :-S

The transition from developer to manager.

For fuck’s sake, Git is not SVN. Get over your fucking svn mindsets and learn the damn thing before coming to me to help with your conflicts.

My first interview.

Interviewer looks at my resume, asks me questions about the projects that I had done at that time.

Tells me he hadn't done this much when he was of my age.

Rejected.

You know you've been watching Silicon Valley too much lately when you drop your food and yell "mother fuck.. Jian Yang."

I am amazed. My laptop died due to lack of electricity (no battery), but Windows still managed to prepare update and forces me to install it when I turned it back on. And of course it requires multiple restarts.

So true 😂

Nope, I'm out.
After easing the millionth post of "I want to make the switch to linux", "my teacher is soo stupid lmao", and "I want to learn xy but don't know how please help, I'm an idiot!" I quit.

This place has nothing to offer me anymore. I am, apparently, too old for this place. That's fine. I'll show myself out.

I'm mostly .NET Dev, working on OCR thingy, but I started as Java, Android Dev. After my boss's crappy management and burning out our two mobile devs he has assigned me to finish one app. For past four days I've worked around the clock to finish as much of functionalities as I could but it simply wasn't possible, especially because project was still changing when though deadline was around 15.12.17. Yesterday I've done as much as I could and now we have to wait for the client to either accept it or break the contract.
To be frank, I think that losing money would be like a bucket of cold water for my boss. All of us, me and those two mobile devs I have mentioned earlier, are students. We have exams right now. "Senior" Dev is only year older and will soon be applying for his engineering degree. Year after year situation like this occurs and boss haven't learn a thing.

That moment you find out that python is very sloppy when it comes to scopes. It seems that variables declared in loops are callable in function scopes. So this code actually does not give any errors:

for i in range(6):
print i

print(“out of loop scope”, i)

Now I’m just like: WTF! That can cause some serious errors when you’re not aware of this thing. I don’t know any other language that has this property...

I know that feeling, kid...