Dear gradle, no offense but I believe Rome took less time to build!

My wife is a teacher doing a technology course that includes basic coding for middle schoolers (11-13 year olds). While she admittedly would make a terrible developer, she just spent her own money on 30+ finger puppets so the kids could practice rubber duck debugging. Maybe something did rub off on her!

Don't be afraid of reinventing the wheel for your own sake. Sure we end up with a lot of wheels, but then when some of those wheel makers come together, they can build something great.

Can we please all just appreciate how much more enjoyable the "cloud-to-butt" browser extension makes reading all those damn pr texts about "the cloud"? Seriously, try it!

A little bit of Lua in my life
A little bit of Java by my side
A little bit JS is all i need
A little bit of bash is what i see
A little bit of JSON in the sun
A little bit of Python all night long
A little bit of TCL here i am
A little bit of this makes me your dev

Childhood ruined

Not sure if it has been here, but the height of SO:

I have an alias on my machine called les which is for when I mistype less, it emails my friend les with the contents of the file and says 'next time I see you, tell me what this said'.

He gets a few emails a day.

Best office prank: I was pretty young and naaive. Senior dev comes to me and says that it would be hilarious to slide a note under the women's bathroom door saying, "I know what you're doing in there". He says that the woman in there will think it's hilarious too. We work with her, she's very funny and laid back, so I go along with it, expecting to get a laugh. A few minutes go by and a different older women enters my cube. She's got the note! She works on the other side of the building so I don't know her too well but I can tell from the look on her face that she's pissed. I'm frozen with fear as my career flashes before my eyes.
I apologise perfusely and try to explain but she's not having it. After a while she goes back to her office not having accepted that it wasn't meant for her and that it was just a joke gone wrong. I spend the next two days apologizing every chance I get, hoping she won't go to HR. She remains stone cold until late on the second day. She couldn't take it anymore as her mouth reluctantly begins to crack a smile. At that point she drops the serious expression on her face and busts out laughing.

It turns out that the three of them planned the whole thing and executed flawlessly. I've never felt so relieved to be the butt of a joke.

Can't stop laughing.... Brilliant post...

Client's message: "The next feature we're going to implement is blah blah blah."

Me (to my manager): "Lol it can't be done. It's impossible. We're bound by technical limitations. I've done plenty of research on this."

*2 hours later*

Me: "Here, I've built a demo of the feature. We can deploy it in a couple of days."

Found this on the Github trending list

🍻🍺🍻 to the guy who made virtualenv

Knock, Knock

Who is there?

Browserstandards

Browserstandards who?

ThereAreNo Browserstandards

#FuckIE

CSS Vertical Alignment:

div {
display:flex;
align-items:center;
}

This is not a problem anymore, so can we stop pretending like it is?

When some moron decides to give your free (and ad free) app a 1 star rating because it does exactly what it is supposed to do, but doesn't do what the reviewer wanted it to.

How considerate of these arse holes to ruin an apps reputation because they are moronic.

I really wish that you could file claims for the reviews to be removed for defamation.

one time while my colleague was away from his computer, I changed every system sound to a loud, elongated moan.

Typical interaction in any XDA development thread:

User: How do I put these ROMs on my phone? Plz halp!

Me: ROOT -> flash RECOVERY -> enter recovery -> flash ROM -> flash Gapps -> profit.

User: How to get the roots? Can halp me?

Me: You're in a Nexus forum. There are directions on how to root everywhere.

User: I can't find. Plz halp.

Me: Fastboot oem unlock, fastboot flash recovery.img, flash SuperSU, flash ROM...

User: Where I can get fastboot?

Me: *link to Google developer's page*

User: Can you just tell me?

Me: No, you need to figure it out, so you know what you're doing.

*2 hours later*

User: HALP! I use toolkit for to get roots, and now phone won't come on! How to fix?! Halp, halp, halp!

*5 minutes later*

User: bump

Me: Looooooool

No,you can't be a fucking hacker by just knowing python and installing Kali.

Code never lies..

Do you spell it github or jithub?

So this person i met on one interview.

// Looking thru my resume

P: so you have put this code on jithub right?

Me: yeah, on github.

... // A moment of silence from him.

So, which one is the correct?

!rant

I've had two different old coworkers that liked to yell at their computers. The first was a grayed biker who always wore a spiked leather jacket and could never understand what you say the first time do to his massive concerts in his youth. He used to swear some of the worst obscenities and slam his keyboard. He was actually a really nice guy.

The second used to make up obscenities. Myself and another coworker would keep mental logs of the things he said. The best was "fuckbats", we had many long talks about what a "fuckbat" would be and it's general elusiveness. He was also a nice guy, really one of the nicest devs I've ever worked with, he just got really intense under pressure.

Why do I always here beginners say "If loop"??? Where does this come from?

I like you if you're not a dev.

I like you if you're a dev.

I don't like you if you're not a dev but you try to act one.

Nice old Hardware

*yesterday*
Client: "Perfect! How did you do this so quickly?"
Me: "I used a library"
*today*
Me: "I'm still debugging. It will take some time"
Client: "Well, it has already taken too long...I can hear Mozart in the background. Maybe you need to go to a library to get some quiet and get it done fast. Visit the one you used yesterday."
Me: "Library?...Ah, I meant plugin...like, code...a library is a bunch of packaged code"

How did you guys find devRant?

Me:
*Googled "Why PHP Sucks"*
*Landed on devrant.io*

Download failed. cURL error 6: Couldn’t resolve host ‘CRÈME WASH’

My semicolon key is broken.

We should use WYSIWYG.