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Search - "childhood"
If Programming Languages Were Girls:
Java: Your current girlfriend, you've been going steady for a while now. Things are okay.
Kotlin: The girl Java finds you cheating on, she's just amazing, and you wish you'd met her sooner.
Visual Basic: The girl you accidentally started a relationship with because you didn't know how to say no. But quickly realised your mistake and regretted it.
Python: A bossy, manipulative girl who quickly turned things sour. But everyone else loves her because of her huge libraries.
My and a co worker were joking the other day about what programming languages would be like if they were girls. This is what we came up with (Original inspiration: the Distracted Boyfriend meme (Feel free to add your own!)).50
Being paid to rewrite someone else's bad code is no joke.
I'll give the dev this, the use of gen 1,2,3 Pokemon for variable names and class names in beyond fantastic in terms of memory and childhood nostalgia. It would be even more fantastic if he spelt the names correctly, or used it to make a Pokemon game and NOT A FUCKING ACCOUNTANCY PROGRAM.
There's no correspondence in name according to type, or even number. Dev has just gone batshit, left zero comments, and now somehow Ryhorn is shitting out error codes because of errors existing in Charmeleon's asshole.
The things I do for money...26
We had a Commodore64. My dad used to be an electrical engineer and had programs on it for calculations, but sometimes I was allowed to play games on it.
When my mother passed away (late 80s, I was 7), I closed up completely. I didn't speak, locked myself into my room, skipped school to read in the library. My dad was a lovely caring man, but he was suffering from a mental disease, so he couldn't really handle the situation either.
A few weeks after the funeral, on my birthday, the C64 was set up in my bedroom, with the "programmers reference guide" on my desk. I stayed up late every night to read it and try the examples, thought about those programs while in school. I memorized the addresses of the sound and sprite buffers, learnt how programs were managed in memory and stored on the casette.
I worked on my own games, got lost in the stories I was writing, mostly scifi/fantasy RPGs. I bought 2764 eproms and soldered custom cartridges so I could store my finished work safely.
When I was 12 my dad disappeared, was found, and hospitalized with lost memory. I slipped through the cracks of child protection, felt responsible to take care of the house and pay the bills. After a year I got picked up and placed in foster care in a strict Christian family who disallowed the use of computers.
I ran away when I was 13, rented a student apartment using my orphanage checks (about €800/m), got a bunch of new and recycled computers on which I installed Debian, and learnt many new programming languages (C/C++, Haskell, JS, PHP, etc). My apartment mates joked about the 12 CRT monitors in my room, but I loved playing around with experimental networking setups. I tried to keep a low profile and attended high school, often faking my dad's signatures.
After a little over a year I was picked up by child protection again. My dad was living on his own again, partly recovered, and in front of a judge he agreed to be provisory legal guardian, despite his condition. I was ruled to be legally an adult at the age of 15, and got to keep living in the student flat (nation-wide foster parent shortage played a role).
OK, so this sounds like a sobstory. It isn't. I fondly remember my mom, my dad is doing pretty well, enjoying his old age together with an nice woman in some communal landhouse place.
I had a bit of a downturn from age 18-22 or so, lots of drugs and partying. Maybe I just needed to do that. I never finished any school (not even high school), but managed to build a relatively good career. My mom was a biochemist and left me a lot of books, and I started out as lab analyst for a pharma company, later went into phytogenetics, then aerospace (QA/NDT), and later back to pure programming again.
Computers helped me through a tough childhood.
They awakened a passion for creative writing, for math, for science as a whole. I'm a bit messed up, a bit of a survivalist, but currently quite happy and content with my life.
I try to keep reminding people around me, especially those who have just become parents, that you might feel like your kids need a perfect childhood, worrying about social development, dragging them to soccer matches and expensive schools...
But the most important part is to just love them, even if (or especially when) life is harsh and imperfect. Show them you love them with small gestures, and give their dreams the chance to flourish using any of the little resources you have available.22
I met one of my friend from my childhood he asked me what I do for a living.
I told him : "I am a full stack developer"
He : What does that mean? What you have to do in office?
Me: I write code for websites in very simple words.
He: Like facebook?
Me: yes, exactly.
He: So you work for windows?
Me: What makes you think that?
He: Aren't websites comes with the computer?
Me: I am so unfortunate to meet you.14
Father bought a PC in 1997. Back then very few had it. I learned doing things like accessing the internet and sending emails, among others. I remember having added age on websites to be allowed to sign up at times :P My sisters used to play games on it sometimes. The first few ones we had were Tomb Raider: The Last Revelation, Tomb Raider Chronicles, American McGee's Alice(Which caused us to upgrade the PC xD)... And some others.
I have a memory of this pseudo-3D-looking game where you move in a maze and try answering questions. I want to remember its name, but I cannot :(
We literally have video evidence of me liking the computer as a child, yet my parents either say I'm addicted or deny I've ever liked it before. Not only that, but continuously limiting my time with the PC hasn't been a literal obstacle in my way of trying to do things in their opinion. Funny how my parents think the last few years I've been my worst when they've hurt me in those years so much that our relationship is guaranteed not working out. There were doubts in my head before, but now it's cemented and there is no way of going back. Father, for example, tells me it's too late to do anything with a PC now(As well as how I've been unable to use the PC. He looks at these pro players' footage in some TV show and he's like, „You've been unable to use your hobbies“, as if they have never ever screamed at me for perceived gaming and not actually cared to check), and I need to look for a „real“ job.
Sorry. I went to bed at 2:00 in the morning. Feel like a zombie because of ongoing weirdly insufficient sleep, even though I sleep kinda more than normal. Even when I took Melatonine for that it didn't help at all.
Childhood was where beating began. I was about 6/7. Right when I entered school. The first school that I attended was a private one and supposedly for „Wunderkinds“, while in reality I haven't seen a SINGLE teacher or psychologist approve of it, their argument being that children were basically drowned in work that wasn't age-appropriate(I don't mean anything bad. Just that teaching about Galaxies and all in first grade isn't the brightest idea). There was always a mountain of homework to do and as opposed to some other countries, we had to do it on a day to day basis. We didn't have a week-long deadline. I was predictably not keeping up with it as I could have, had it been a normal amount, so my parents decided I didn't want to study and began their methods of getting me to „study“. I have yet to see a person able to keep up with that school's tempo, no matter the age.
This place was also where I got bullied. I felt I had nowhere to be: At home, the parents' situation, at school, the bully. I never really went outside to play with other children, so I missed that part of childhood.
After the second year of school I was transferred to an advanced German school, called like that because they taught German and not English there. I also got to learn a bit of Russian before they removed it from school. In that period I used to attend ballet. But for less than a year. And piano, which I remember having attended for quite a long while, some years, if my memory isn't fried. I quit it because of it having been forced on me. Last piece I ever played fully was Beethoven's Marmotte.
In this school I was once again the outcast of the class. I had some people to interact with. All of those interactions lasted a few years at most. Then, because of a part of my class choosing me as a laughing-stock N2 and another girl as the N1, I found my best friend, who I still have today. She's the only friend I have nearby.
Most of the time I hated myself. Even today I struggle with that sometimes.
After that came university. This us where I got something like a friend circle at last. But it still didn't last. I got in a relationship with one of the guys, but I was just attracted. There was another I couldn't dare getting close to. Turns out he also had something for me. Then he disappeared from our lives and a year after, I still cannot forget the person. If I want to, I have to deprive myself of my own personality. Not a thing I'm willing to give up. Then I broke up with the guy I was in a relationship with and completely disappeared from the friendship circle. To be honest, I had reasons to. They refused to even try to look for the guy and they called him a friend for years. Sometimes parents hitting me can occur even today, but if I REALLY piss them off.
Now I'm here and oh, my God, I'm officially am aunt now! My sister gave birth to a daughter this morning... She's in Berlin with mother and both she and the child are doing great. I just hope she manages to be a good mother.22
My parents my whole childhood:
What are you *** doing in front of that screen?!?!
Stop playing GAMES and go out and do something with your life!
You are WASTING your LIFE on ****!
You will NEVER get a job.
Today I am payed more than 20th times as my dad was payed in my age.
They finally stopped complaining.6
One day I developed a simple website for a goldsmith who I already new for a year or so.
We discussed everything and agreed on a feature set, price and a deadline when it should be ready. Based on this we signed a contract and I started my work.
Unfortunately at the same time I lost most of my childhood friends. I moved to a new city and started to study computer science, which was awesome on the contrary.
This is where the horror began.
I was totally occupied by the studying, my partner, myself and by the shit of life.
It knocked on my door. The horror decided to pay me a visit.
"Had a look at your calendar recently? Just saying..."
Shit! The deadline came closer and closer everyday and the pile of work undone grew with it. At that point I had to do something. I don't know what it was or how I did it, but somehow I managed to finish the project just in time. I was totally not proud of it, but it featured what was required.
The day before I contacted my client, the horror knocked on my door again. He said:
"You really should have a look at your hard drive."
"Why? everything seems allright."
"Well, then look closer."
Well, there are backups at least, I thought to myself. I'll just recover the last state. That was an annoying thought, but nothing serious. That's just one or two days of w... - Wait, what? Where are my backups? What the actual fuck? Why is the zip file broken? Why doesn't the flash drive work anymore? FUUUCK!!
I was lost. It was a complete nightmare.
Each time my telephone rang the following days, my heart skipped a beat. Finally my client's name appeared on the display. I answered the call, my hands shaking.
"Hey there! I'm calling to discuss the website project with you."
"Well, about that..."
"Yeah, I know you put a huge amount of efford in it so I'm really sorry to say that I on the other hand can't effort the money. Actually I'd like to simply forget about this whole idea."
Seriously? What the fuck just happend? I suddenly noticed a sticky note infront of me reading:
"It was really fun to see you suffer, but I have to go! See ya
- The Horror"
"Hello, are you still there? Do you hear me?", yelled a voice through my phone.
"Uh, yeah. You know, that project was a lot of work and... but you know what? It was actually a pretty fun exercise and I'm doing well over here, so because it's you I'd agree."
I heared a reliefed sigh from the other end of the line.
"Really good! I owe you something! Bye!"
What. The. Fuck.14
So I have officially achieved one of my childhood dreams and built my own PC, took me a while to save up enough to to afford it and yes it's not the best but it's mine and I love it :)12
Apple has programmed an avatar maker in iMessage that generates emoji that are supposed to resemble the person. However it does not have any setting for facial structure to represent a person’s sex. I’m pretty sure they did it because “gender is a construct”.
When I was growing up I had some issues with gender dysphoria. I am male genetically. I was mistaken as female my whole childhood because I was “pretty”, my best friends were girls, and I liked cooking, drawing, and dancing. Puberty happened and I started to look like a man. I considered transitioning because I felt female but I decided to let my body do what it wants and do the things I like to do without worrying about if they are gendered or not. I am married and male and I like what I like.
This stupid iMessage avatar. I have tried my hardest to make it look like me. I have long hair and keep my facial hair clean. They don’t have a switch to change some facial physiological traits so I have this Memoji that looks like a woman with a slight hormonal imbalance. It makes me feel conflicted like I felt when I was young. I haven’t thought about it in years and now I feel like I have an uncomfortable secret female avatar that i carry around on my phone and I feel like I’m carrying a secret.
A persons genetics result in differences in facial structures. Biological sex is more than the length of hair and whether a person wears makeup. I hate this “sex is a construct” trend. I’m fine living my life, but then companies push this software onto my phone like propaganda. I want it to look as masculine as I look IRL.20
Today I downloaded SpyKids (2002) movie to refreshen childhood memories.
Saw that scientists were using welding machine and chemicals to make artificial intelligence.6
"Your password must be between 8-20 characters and contain an uppercase letter, a lowercase letter, a number, a special character and a haiku about your childhood pet."7
Coding has impacted my life the biggest by having 'scrum' meetings with my family over dinner. I start with..
"What did you do today?"
"What are you doing tomorrow?"
and variations of (depending on the responses from the first questions)..
"Anything I can help with?"
It really opened up the channels of communication with my family. It's not unusual for dinner to take up to an hour.
Quite the contrast of my childhood where dinner was a "better to be seen than heard" experience and eating fast and leaving the table was a competition with my siblings.5
Since childhood I was extremely creative. At ~7 I took my family's laptop and started downloading level editors for Super Mario.
After that, I discovered a strange site to create games (similar to Scratch).
One month later the PC had too many malwares and adwares. 🤗1
>Have 64gb memeory stick with software and precious memories (back ups of childhood pictures and stuff)
>Go to girlfriend's house
>Let her borrow it because she needed it for photography (pictures in the TrueCrypt file take only about a quarter of the drive)
>Get dumped by girlfriend after a while
>Shrug and be a little sad
>Find out that i dont have a local copy of what was there
>Don't have courage to ask for it back or even speak to her
>Cry because of now gone data
>Cry because no back ups.
Moral of the story is dont fuck with your back up and also, don't give people precious data, even the ones you trust at the time.4
It has been more than a decade when I thought I lost this childhood buddy of mine, 'til when I found you like this. Why? :(11
Humans are illogical. Many decisions are made from impressions created in early life. A lot of people have suppressed their childhood memories because they're ashamed of them, but I'll have you know:
I like trains. Choo choo!!8
I'm so overwhelmed by childhood memories and emotions right now.
After 7 years or so I found my old PSP while throwing away and sorting out old stuff. I thought i already have thrown it away.
It was my first gaming console and I've spent so much time with it. There are so much memories connected to this device.
And now the best part: for some reasons I have kept the charger all the years. So I've just plugged it in and it works. It works like on the first day ❤
Now, anyone has some ideas or suggestions for some nice hacks? Like custom firmwares or things like that20
I started early in my childhood days, nobody had cellphone or internet here, my phone number was 3 digits long and my home country started to recover from 44 years of communism.
My first dev project was probably to copy game from newspaper to Atari 1300XE
Article listing was around 10 pages long and if you made mistake program didn’t run.
It took me a while I can’t remember how long but probably whole day and I was finally able to play it.
I don’t remember what was game about but later on I learned some BASIC from book and was able to color the screen and stuff like that.
I was about 6 years old.
I also remember that Atari computer had tape recorder where you put cassette to load game.
Some more complicated games were loading more then hour and you need to walk very carefully around or your walk can cause error and operation would fail.
Besides that there were national radio auditions about Atari where at the end they played code sound wave so you can record it on your cassette and then play software from radio on your Atari.
I never managed to do it cause I was living near military airport and pilots were practicing landing and starting above my home causing radio signal noise and breaking my software recoding.
I can probably say that highly accelerating plane could cause game loading problem and it’s not a joke.11
I just realized why you should never help people with tech problems, at least for free.
I went to grab the rent from a family that lives in my grandma's childhood home.
The father asks me if I could have a look at their new internet connection because it doesn't open any pages on the browser.
After fiddling for about an hour and a half trying every trick in the book and gently explaining to his children how everything is supposed to work (kids need to learn how these machines work imho) I ask him to give me his service provider number and confirmed that indeed the problem was that the connection wasn't activated on their side. Installed chrome, set the date,/time because it wouldn't sync and told them twice how to get past the certificate problem should some page not open. Smiles all around, all is well.
Fast forward next to next morning and I get a call from the guy telling me his internet doesn't work because he pulled out the power cable for whatever reason. I instruct him to restart the router just to be sure and then ask him what's on the screen. Turns out it was the certificate problem. I try as best I can explaining and reminding him how to get past but he doesn't understand. He goes on asking me to "come over for 5minutes and have a look at it". I politely tell him that just the trip is half an hour and that I am currently in the middle of exams to finish university. His tone becomes increasingly passive aggressive as I tell him again that it's isn't possible for me to make the time for a one hour round trip at the moment. Hangs up with a grim "right right whatever you say."
First time I was genuinely angry at a person being both so ungrateful after helping them and not even trying to fix something after I took the time to explain it to them.10
Like most people I needed some extra cash during uni, so I proceeded to learn CSS + Photoshop (yeah, I know). Followed by PHP and WordPress.
It can be a very shitty platform until you realize that you can stop combining plug-ins from all over the place with dubious code quality and roll your own.
Anyhow I kept at it until I was able to join a niche company doing a quite popular caching plug-in for WP (yeah, W3 Total) when I suddenly became *very* interested in anything and everything performance.
This landed me a very cozy consulting gig in the Nordics - they were using WP for an elephant-traffic website and had run into a myriad of perf issues.
Fixing them and breaking the monolith awarded me with skills in nodejs, linux, asynchronous caching among others.
I was soon in charge with managing the dev boxes for the entire team, and when the main operations dude left, I was promoted to owning the entire platform. (!) Tinkering with Linux for most of my life really came in handy here. (remember Debian potato?)
Used saltstack + aws cloudformation to achieve full parity between all environments. Learned myself some python and all various tips and tricks which in the end amounted to 90% reduction in time-to-first-byte and considerable cost savings.
By the end of the 2yr contract I had turned myself into a fullstack systems engineer and never looked back.
Lawyers not getting along resulted in us having to abandon NewRelic, so I got to learn and deploy the ELK stack as a homegrown replacement, which was super-fun.
Now I work in the engineering effectiveness department of a Swedish fintech unicorn where all languages under the Sun are an option (tho we prefer Python), so the tech stack is unlimited. Infinite tools and technologies, but with strong governing principles and with performance always in mind so as to pick the right tool for the job.
It's like that childhood feeling when you've just dumped a ton of Lego on the floor and are about to build something massive.
I guess the morale here is however disappointed you feel by your current stack - don't. Always strive to make things better, faster, more decoupled, easier to test, etc. and always challenge yourself to go outside the comfort zone.6
!rant waiting for my first job interview as a developer at 35years old, so fucking nervous.😱😵 it's like going back to my childhood6
Things that pissed me off on Monday.
1 - that bastard of a jerk whom you have known since childhood, pulling your legs in front of your gf
2 - few minutes of "_ _ _ is typing" placeholder text showing up after asking something in IM
3 - the increasing number of appointments/meetings for the rest of the week
You know what I do when I get upset or depressed?
I put myself in bed. I guess some things from childhood don't change.
Having a tantrum? Time to go to bed.4
Teacher: This is a Keyboard, this is a mouse... blah blah blah
Now play Mario!
There was also some space racing game or something installed on the computers. We weren't allowed to play that game, so of course, we did what we weren't allowed to. It was always fun to sneak in a game when the teacher wasn't looking or wasn't around.
We were also taught MS Paint. I "painted" a squirrel in one of the lab sessions, the teacher loved it and showed it to everyone. Everyone applauded and then I became the MS Paint Guru (for them). Fun times..10
Call me a child, but I still have a love for Lego. Lately, as I have been sorting my childhood collection into individual sets, I needed a way to track how many of each piece I've found for any given set, and started programming a tool that lets me pull Lego set inventories from the internet and keep track of the parts I've found.
This is the first time I've found a problem and built a program to solve it, and it feels so good! :D
(in case anyone is curious, I'm building it in Java as an Android app.)3
The year was 1983. My best friend and neighbour at the time invited me over to see an amazing device that his father had brought home from work, an IBM PC. We played a game called Track & Field, and I was amazed that the machine remembered my name once I've entered it. (Uptil then the only machines with any kind of memory that I've come in touch with, were arcade games and my cousin's video game console, which was also the first electronic gaming device I've ever played, back in 1978). In the early 1980s, computers were anything but commonplace in Åland Islands, but I think that it was in 1983 that people became aware of them, and there was a budding interest to buy one, at least among us kids. It was my sister who wished for a home computer for Christmas, so the same year Santa gave us a ZX Spectrum. It came with a game called Thro' the Wall, an Arcanoid clone(, that has inspired me to make my own clone "Wall" for all the different home computers I've had, ranging from Commodore 16 and Canon V-20 to Amiga 500 and Amiga 1200). Unfortunately, we only managed to load the game (delivered on a C cassette) like once or twice after several attempts. It turned out that the hardware was faulty and dad got a refund after first having had to complain a lot at the dealer (which went out of business some ten years ago), and then bought the Commodore the next Christmas. Anyway, I wrote my first code on the ZX Spectrum. It doesn't really count for programming as all I did was typing examples and running them. I do recall altering one example though, a program drawing the Swedish flag on the screen, by adding an inner red cross thus turning it in the Åland flag. But, with the Commodore 16 (which had an excellent Basic interpreter) I got started with programming almost immediately and by the end of 1984 I had written my fist very own Basic programs. In 1996 I got my first IT job, and am still a dev. So, what became of my childhood friend and neighbour? He runs a successful computer dealership :)
A child's mind is fascinating.
I remember how it felt being a kid, just deliriously happy.
Things were magical, mystical and happy.
I knew the world wasn't perfect, I knew bad things happened to good people.
But a kid's mind is so powerful that it can fill in the blanks with the most cheerful and optimistic perspectives.
And at some point in my childhood I was exposed to videogames, and that kinda took me down fantasy lane even further.
I was extremely young and barely retaining any memories when I was exposed to my first console, a famicom.
I have a somewhat vivid memory of my mind being blown away for the first time by watching my brother play New Ghostbusters II for NES.
From then on, we never stopped and played several console and dos/pc games.
When I was 10, someone from the neighborhood brought in a couple of floppys with Pokemon Yellow.
"What? Pokemon? How the fuck is that even possible? This is a pc, not a gameboy".
I didn't know at the time what an emulator was, but I was super fucking stoked to be able to play that.
My dad had a 1 gb laptop from work that he didn't use, so I hoarded that shit, and I would get to bed and play nearly everyday.
The experience was surreal. I was doing pc gaming... not on a chair, on a fucking bed, and I was playing a gameboy game... on a pc.
It was so intense to me, that even after more than 2 decades of that time in my life, I still remember how it feels like.
Like, you know how you can "feel" things if you think about them? like for example if you think about the taste of chicken, you can somehow feel it for a second.
Well I have like an actual physical sensation linked to that experience but I can't explain it at all, because it's just a sensation.
I think people usually say they feel that way, for example, about the PSX (usually refered to as ps one) loading screen. I experienced that too but when I was 12, so it was not as intense (it does make me feel the fuzzies though).
I also remember other things with very high detail, like the texture of my bed cover, the weather, mom cooking, the clunky shape of the laptop, the way I carelessly stored it above a pile of magazines, etc.
I rememeber ofc how it felt looking at the game sprites, interacting with NPCs, and the goddamn fucking glorious music.
It was dreamy.
Years and years later, I grew up and I stopped living in fantasy world and became more aware of the grim aspects of life my younger self was sugarcoating.
So I tried to play pokemon again, again and again, and no matter how hard I tried to revive that euphoria, I could not never do it.
I started to get annoyed at the game.
"Come oooon, I did the tutorial already, let me skip this.
This pokemon is useless, why am I even training it.
Fuck, I'm tired of grinding"
At some point I accepted that the feeling would never return, and that it would just live in my memory.
Ironically, I can recall that memory and how it felt anytime I want to.
And I can actually still feel it, and throughtout these years, it has never wore down.
And eventually I learned how to play pokemon and enjoy it:
I read tier lists at smogon online and just catch and train the pokemons that are higher on the list, which is how i got to beat yellow in like 3 days.
(This is nothing compared to what speedrunners do, but much better than the weeks it had taken me in the past).
That served as an important lesson that when a kid plays a game, his mind is also the game at the same time, filling the blanks with its imagination.
A very similar experience happened to me with harvest moon, which is the precursor of stardew valley.
and that game is faaar more emotional: you talk to people, overtime you befriend them and they open up, you meet a girl, you marry her, have a kid
you get farm animals, you brush them, they become happy
you get attached
that game was also so powerful in me that in all naiveness I thought I wanted to be a farmer.
Eventually I grew up and hit puberty and from then on, I focused more on competitive games, like smash bros, cs and tf2.
and i dunno how to end a post so eat my fucking nuts27
What kind of developer are you and what is your opinion on other development areas?
Me: Junior dev, oriented towards full stack and Android(with a sysadmin background):
-Low-level(kernel development, embedded, drivers, operating systems, reverse engineers)- Badass, I wish I could do that.
-Mobile apps- awesome but too high level sometimes.
-Full stack/Backend- awesome.
-Web Frontend- fuck HTML+CSS. JS is cool I guess.
-Enterprise applications(e.g SAP) Pajeet, my son.
-Malware development- Holy shit that is awesome.
-Video Game development- was my dream since childhood.
-Desktop apps- No opinion.5
Don’t worry, I’ll comeback...
When i need to download chrome after fresh install
P.S. not mine, i stole it from the internet using chrome3
This kid on the tape is me. I'm not even two years old there and I'm already messing around with wires.
Five minutes later on that tape I figured out how to turn the vacuum cleaner on and tried to tie it to the cassette deck.
No wonder why I'm a programmer now 😂
Week 2 of new portfolio site development
5 days of gf ranting about her childhood tramua preventing me from work
4 trips to stores right as you were getting warmed up
3 fights because I wasn't paying attention to rants about childhood tramua
2 near phone calls to nearest relative to move in with temporarily
2 threats of being kicked out for not listening to rants about childhood trauma
2 days of dog with explosive runs
Still finished the site, styled it, listened to critiques, made adjustments, commented code, preparing to go live 😎
Anything to get me back to the Bay Area6
I'm basically an introvert. I've lived most of my childhood with my mother alone with few friends and the ones I had betreyed me real hard at some point. So how come that I'm now founding a startup, speaking in front of a big audience at meetups and have a nearly 60/40 work/social life?
At some point I decided to be more social. Making that decision alone had a huge impact. It took several years though, to implement this decision. Some day I cut off my draining social bounds and found energyzing relationships by simple doing what I wanted to do. I started to reach out and experiment with a lot of hobbies like bow casting and going to board games evenings. I made little steps. E.g bow casting is a sport where you don't necessarily interact with others within the sport, but you have the opportunity to interact about the sport.
A physiologist once told me the neat fact, that being an introvert is just an attribute that does not contradict the skill being socially involved. So it is possible with training and decisions to learn how to be more extroverted. For in introvert this is more exhausting and challanging, but definitely possible.
So today I balance my social life and work by visiting meetups, playing board games and all that stuff that makes me comfortable. There I get to know people with similar interests and similar struggle ;)
At some point the work was just not enough to be happy, I identified my missing social interactions as the root cause so I decided to change that.
On the other hand, don't think you have to be social. Don't think you have to care about everything others expect you to care about. It's bullshit. Don't care about that. Rather ask yourself what you want for yourself. Certainly a social life is part of that, but you alone decide how this will look like. E.g. After I decided hey I just don't give a fuck if you like cuddling your cat and when it's birthday is, several months or years later I started to be interested in these things from my own, not because some dippshit society construct expects me to care about it.
So to wrap up:
Introvert is an attribute, social life is a skill.
Deciding for yourself and giving a fuck about others is key.
It takes a shit load of time. But it works.
It was not until 20 that I had access to regular computing. In school I had to take up Finance as my Maths was weak. I couldn't take Sciences including computers and how could I , my childhood wasn't as fortunate as my peers.
When I entered college I got my brothers old gaming pc as we had a couple of work laptops at home. I was always the inquisitive one. I got interested in web development just because of curiosity while I was on my first job and I hated it. I used to write article and freelanced and ran a website for friends where I learned a lot by trial and error. I single handedly learned mySQL, PHP and basic web development.
The main job was a core night from 11pm -8 am . Drained me and my social life drowned. I lost my brother in an accident. Silver Lining: I quit my job.
I understood I was interested in computers like nothing else. I single handedly learned a programming language. After leaving the job I took up classes to learn from root level in a structured manner: Web design and Development.
Now though I am jobless and I am searching for my second job it is for something I love. :)2
I don't know the slightest thing about electricity. But blowing up my house's fusebox in the name of experimenting with DIY wireless electricity wall chargers is one of my life's simplest pleasures. 😌😌😌
Or just blowing up my house's fuse box for any reason whatsoever 😂 Brings back childhood memories of me... blowing up the fuse because I stuck a copper wire into a wall socket to find out if electricity has a color like in cartoons. 😂⚡️5
When I was in school, I could walk as long as I wanted. Only my unwillingness to do so could stop me.
Now I don't even care about my unwillingness, but I can't walk as long as I want anymore – my legs hurt and just stops moving. The spasm won't go away easily and I have to wait for it to stop.
When I was in school, I could learn as much as I wanted. Only my unwillingness to do so could stop me.
Now I don't even care about my unwillingness, but I can't learn as much as I want anymore – my brain just stops absorbing information. I can see letters but I can't read words.
My body slowly decay. By the age of 21, I have two abdominal surgeries, joint and bone issues, clinically diagnosed depression, the food I eat won't digest without pills and much more to handle. If the pain is what stops me now I could only imagine the next step when I don't even care about pain just like I don't care now about my unwillingness.
On the other hand the realization of my own mortality was extremely liberating. Yes, my body slowly decomposes and needs to be fixed here and there but at least I know that my personality heavily depends on some fluids inside my body. I know that I have limited amount of fucks to be given.
I slowly lose my health over time but I gain something more and I gain faster than I lose. I don't care about things like indents or JS trailing semicolons anymore – I just build and ship viable products over weekends. I almost never argue and enforce my vision inside the team I manage as a teamlead.
Yes, I'm depressed and not productive but depression would go away and my confidence is here to stay. I'm here to earn just enough money to buy a house and launch my own small projects that wouldn't require that much time to provide me with basic needs.
Everyone I see is fighting a hard battle. I'm here to end mine.3
I have never ever been so excited about a game. It is like a childhood dream coming true.20
! random story
Today i was cleaning my laptop and on right side of it i suddenly touched a button... !!!
DVD player popped out.. and it's dusty as hell.. I was like what ?? How long this has been in laptop.. It's weird.. I never used it.. Why the heck we need it.. I didn't saw anybody holding dvd disc nowadays .. Man nobody uses those shit's anymore.. we have pen drives and External HDD's now. Why the heck manufacture's still keep these dvd player in Laptop's..
But it brought my childhood memories back though.. !!2
A friend of mine had a MacBook. She had a DSLR too and she used some software on her mac to transfer the files on it.
At one point she ran out of space and thought that it's a good idea to uninstall that software as a temporary solution. The software took all her childhood pictures with it.4
So I recently returned from university and was catching up with people. Then this guy(childhood friend) who is in EE was "asking" me about how my academics were going. So I was describing my cs classes to him until he suddenly interrupted me saying he knows "how algorithms work" and also that IT == CS. I tried my best to explain to him that it is not the same thing, but his ego just couldn't allow me to talk. He continued on forcefully about how he did a project in java that used SQL and blahblahblah. After he was done exhibiting himself, he asked me what languages do you know(LOL)? When I tried to explain to him that cs is not about learning languages, the guy proceeded to interrupt me again and tell me how his curriculum is hard so as to imply that mine is shit. Finally, this human waste told me to "open java" so that he could code, I opened up my terminal, which he responded to by asking me "What is that?"2
As child: 'When I grew up and earned some money I'm gonna by a full Photoshop-Version.' 😎
Now: 'You cannot buy it fully anymore.' 😫
Anyone here a graphic designer / web developer that got an early look on your life by commanding a turtle to draw pictures for you?
Amaterasu head, this game made my childhood, and it just fits perfectly to hide the manufacturer sign2
So star wars republic commando and the only battlefront games just got added to backwards compatibility on Xbox one... Well there goes all my development time and hello childhood!2
i just learned what pokemon go was and its basically my childhood dreams coming true. i love that developers can make that happen.
Yesterday I almost ended my programming Carrier
Long story - I am enrolled in EC course which I cannot face for a single moment. Web development is something that had always excited me, and i wanted to make a room for myself here since childhood.
I cannot study what doesn't interest me. But that does not mean I hate learning. I have strong interest in learning things. Hence, I skipped two end-sem exam in the last semester. And utilized thar time to work on my project. I've been working on it since last 6 months. I learned more things in last one year than what I did in last 3 years at college.
My brother came to know I failed two exams in the last sem, yesterday. There were clouds flying over home for hours. What my family thinks is, I should get my degree. Whether I learn anything or not, but I should I get it. I must do graduation and what ever stuff I am working on can be done later. They don't understand the value of time and how fast things are changing.
I even got a client, who is willing to pay large amount for my platform. What my family thinks, is I am running for money, which is merely true.
What world we are living in. Parents and families don't want their children to get educated or well equipped with knowledge and values but want a printed degree in hand, which they think is enough to get a job.
The colony where I live, more than 80% graduates, that graduated in last 5 years with good numbers are unemployed.3
Can I be a fucker?
Here is the crazy guy on my fav childhood beach.
BT glasses now (today I want Portuguese hip hop) but usually camera glasses (suposed to be 1080p, pix are 640x480) , so other gadjet to unmount.
See that sea? Marvelous...5
I was told life would be easy once you're grown up. I signed up for trial not the whole package, I want to go back!!1
I will never ever see, play, or think about video games the same way again. Even playing all my childhood games is never the same.
I will now forever see the game from the inside out, imagining what code the devs might have written to achieve what is happening: sprites, audio, triggers, AI algos, etc. No longer is a player or character just a player or character; they're sprites, animations, classes and variables and method calls. o.o2
a lot of people claim video games cause violence. imo they do.
a lot of the arguments try to prove that because the majority of video game players aren't shooters isn't valid in my opinion, because, in tjis situation, even if 99.99% of gamers with access to a gun don't have a mads shooting, the 0.01% is enough.
add in a loneliness, a bad childhood, mental health issues, and being in a bad place at the time, i think it's possible.
now don't get me wrong - i don't believe video games should be banned or something, i'm just saying i believe it's feasible that video games could be a contributing factor in a mass shooter's choice to do unspeakable actions.
do you guys think i'm being naive or logical ?32
TL;DR - (almost) childhood trauma due to Wesrern Digital crap products lead to lot of data loss and a plege to not trust or purchase their products for the rest of my life.
So, I got my first ever Wester Digital 2TB Mybook, back when 2TB was a really big thing. While in the midst of moving (not copying) a LOT of data to it, the damn disk just.. died. There was no fall, no power outage, no damage, it just stopped working. I was out of words and out of options. Tried yanking out the disk and connecting it directly to a system, but no luck because it looks like it's the HDD mobo that died.
Also stupid young me did not realise back then that, even if a "moved" the data, the original data is still most likely in their original location, and so, never bothered a recovery.
Lots of good stuff lost that day.
And as with a lot of you, my disaster recovery system kicked up 10 fold. Now I got redundant local and cloud backup copies of all critical and otherwise unattainable data.
As you may have guessed, I never bought another Wester Digital product ever again. My internal HDDs are Segate, and external is a suprisingly long lived Toshiba Canvio.6
Not joining the weekly rant.
But had a haunted dream last night and it was definitely weird.
Dreamed that I was at my childhood house and opened the door of my room. Found literally nothing. Just empty room. Got scared (for whatever reason) and run to my mom. Came back to the room with her. Opened the door. Everything was in it's place; bed, chair, table etc.
I didn't watch any scary movie for the past few months. There was one scary dream few months/weeks ago and I wrote about it. And now this. 🤔1
I know recursion is everywhere but I recently noticed it in very unusual place('unusual' in the way we see), I hail from India, we studied in our childhood about road less taken, the way I see, everyone has to take so important decisions in yheir life, one such decission is about career, in India road less taken in career paths is everything other than orthodox education, I too the dreaded road "Education", next decission is to choose stream and there the road less taken is anything other that "Engineering (or medicne) " and I took (*as expected) engineering, after taking computers (which is the dreaded road now) next decision is what next? Dreaded road is job, but this time I chose take a road little less traveled in CS. Then I next decission was to choose the research stream the road less taken here (NOW) is systems as AI is in its prime and everyone whants to ride the wave, but I chose Systems in research, after all these my point how how boolean function is called recursively (in the sense of construct) and as a systems programmer I realize the importance of optimizing how I answer these functions quick and accurate. This is one such boolean function but I am sure you can find many in our path till here so It is better to realize what these functions are optimize then as a good Programmer of your own Life.
Not a rant, I need advice on something.
There is this game that I used to play as a kid, a PC game. It's an indie game, very unpopular, but I really liked it back then and I think it would probably be successful on the mobile platform.
So, I tried to contact the guy who made it to ask him if he would make a mobile version but had no success, he didn't reply the email and I couldn't find him anywhere else (twitter, facebook, linkedin). I found a github page with his name but his last contribution was in feb/2015.
The game is REALLY old, the installer executable dates 2004.
So I was thinking that perhaps I could remake the game myself and launch it, maybe with different levels, etc, but giving credits to the guy who originally made it. And I'd include ads somewhere to get a little income for myself.
Question is, would it be anti-ethical of me to do it? I mean, the guy who made the game doesn't seems to care for it anymore since there were no more mentions of it anywhere, and the last version is 1.01.
I just wanted advice from you guys, I'd be really glad to see the game running on mobile because it was a fun part of my childhood.7
My childhood basically. Saved up all my money to buy Pokémon games. I had one that was red tho. The amount of hours I spent on this thing... If not thousands of hours... Tens of thousands...
Then moved to Minecraft, and that's how I got coding 😇 (batch but still)5
Firstly, my main wish is to work in the office. I don't like remote stuff and all that. I would like to have a job where you have to go every day except weekend at a certain time and be there for example 7 hours. I would love to have a good who will tell me what to do, I like to listen to people. I would also want to have a secretary, Im not organized. I would like to do either .NET development, Web Development or 3D modeling. If im working .NET, I would like to work in Microsoft. If Im working Web, I would like to work anywhere, with an office, of course. I don't know, I just love the feeling offices give me and the atmosphere in them. And if im working 3D modeling, I would like to work in Bethesda. Oblivion played a big role in my childhood. I don't care for salary, it doesn't have to be anything big, just enough for bills and my children (which I hope ill have).
There, dream of a 15 yo4
TL: DR - This year is not good so far.
One important thing that I learned this year is you understand a certain person's importance after they are no more.
My grandfather, whom I've always hated, ignored, made my distance from him, just because he was unfair with me and my mother since my childhood, passed away a few days before. Only then I realized what kind of a fucking idiot I am.
On top of that, 2 of my best friends stop being friends with me, for one I had gone too far with a practical joke and for another, I proposed her.
But 2 months from now I expect things to be left behind, locked away in a closet, and throw away the key.
So, I'll just say this, that acknowledge person while they are here, don't hold any grudge towards any fucking one.1
Sorry for the very long rant. I tried to summarise it. There's still more on my mind.
Have you ever woken up angry at the world for all its ignorance and stubbornness? I'm a first year computer science student who knows more about photosynthesis, DNA replication, genes, Bernoulli random variables, Poisson distribution, etc than I do about nested FUCKING "FOR" loops and classes.
How in the fuck can you tell me that informatics doesn't "fit in with computers science" and I can only have statistics... bitch, I'm the one paying, plus it's a FUCKING ELECTIVE. I don't wanna do statistics. What's the point of learning, actually, cramming something for 4 months. This shit is why people leave this country and go work overseas. And you call them unpatriotic... Really?😑
It honestly doesn't feel like I'm studying computer science. This is a childhood dream, not something I just picked up on because I thought "hacking" was cool. Majority of the students don't even know what computer science is, they just chose it because well... Programming.😕
Fuck this university for ruining my dream. Right now I'm in a bad place. Anxiety is a bitch. Depression is slowly creeping in. I'm having thoughts of quitting.
Kids are having thoughts of killing themselves because they failed something that you forced them to do and convinced them that it was beneficial to computer science when it was not. Instead of lying to people, do some actual FUCKING research and start over. Majority of us have to finance ourselves through loans. The more time we spend here, the bigger the debt becomes.
What we're fighting for is a piece of paper with your name on it and some stranger's signature on it who's going to shake your hand one day as if he's known you for a long time.
And don't fucking celebrate a QS ranking of 350-400 for computer science. It's like celebrating an award for participation.
FUCK THIS UNIVERSITY.
FUCK THIS COUNTRY'S EDUCATION SYSTEM.5
Am I the only one who used to think in childhood that writing decimal to binary and then binary to decimal conversion on paper was magic?4
It started when i was about 10 old.
My uncle showed me how to display something in dos-prompt using the echo command in a custom batch-file.
A few commands later, i was able to "program" a flip-book of an ascii ski-driver. Each ascii picture was separated by pressing any key and cls ^^
Aaaaah. Sweet childhood memories!
Later on i used a programming-language for beginners in windows.
This language gave you control of a triangle called "turtle".
My first high-level programming language was Delphi.
Since i had no idea of databases, i created a pseudo database of magic the gathering play-cards. Each card had it's very own windows formular filled up completely with an uncompressed image object displaying the chosen card modally. *sigh*
I scanned each card by using a feed scanner.
Finally, my application consisted of 200 cardimages and forced my PC to swap the required memory from my harddisk.
Boy o boy. I was such a noob! ^^
Over the years i discovered and felt in love with a lot of languages (jsp, java (script), c#, php, ...) and concepts (mvvm, mvc, clean-architecture, tdd, ...)! ;)
I just love Pokémon since my childhood, but mate, Pokémon Go has a totally different build quality than the regular series. What a crap app they've launched. A shitload of bugs that prevent me from even keeping it open for more than 1 minute. Nothing works. You can do better, Nintendo. Niantic is using your name. It is not a lack of team or money.2
My Grandma had an old PC in my childhood. That laid the stone. Then I took a "PC Basics" course in my hometown in 4th-grade, which covered Building a PC, programming it with the weird Turtle stuff and Lego Mindstorms.
Learned HTML in 4th grade. Tried C++ in 5th. Took a while to get serious, 10th grade Java gave the last kick. Studying CS now at the TUM and working as a Web Designer in parallel.
!rant Just letting it out !
From my childhood days I never used to make it a habit to remember our house address as we used to change it often.
My father was the eldest in our family and he took care of his siblings. One younger brother got a nice job and was financially sound to own a house, and we were still a joint family for some time. After a year or so my father was insulted and he moved out in a fit of rage and for ~20 years we have hopped around from one place to another.
This week I will be moving in to my new house along with my parents. Hope I will remember this address forever.
Learning how to break a result into the steps necessary to produce it, along with the broader concept of abstraction in computer science has allowed me to apply this thinking to my personal experience. I've traced personality traits and behaviors to specific events from my childhood, and can finally relax knowing that understanding computers has given me all the linguistic tools I need to talk to myself, which traditionally has been impossible. I no longer feel trapped in a terrifyingly imaginative mind.
1. Gaming, though I focus mostly on mainstream games and my all time favorite is deus ex series (second - TES).
2. Anime. Dragon ball was a huge part of my childhood, and today it’s still my favorite show next to one punch man.
3. Manga. I picked it up quite recently and it’s awesome, but it’s also expensive so I learned to enjoy it only while traveling. I am still reading my first one and it’s Tokyo Ghoul.
4. Embedded electronics. Again, I picked it up quite recently and really enjoying it, still working on my first project that I did with raspberry pi (iot led strip), also posted a story(rant) a while ago.
5. MTB cycling. While it’s not really that geeky, it’s my most favorite hobby I picked up last year June and since rode 1200km on mostly flats and also had my first 100km trip. This year I am planning to focus more on trails and expect learning more technical riding.3
I had a relative that used to come to our house to study because her home was kinda far and also because we had a computer .
She was studying computer science at the time and I was only 13-14 years old. One day she came with 3 CDs of red hat. I asked her about it and she told me it's something like windows. My reaction was wow it must be something huge because I knew at the windows XP was only the size of one CD .
My relation with computers was only to play games and some music that's why I couldn't hold myself not to install it. I fucked my computer endless times, It was like playing puzzles let's try this option and then switch to another... It took me like 4 days to install and I was really impressed with it you know seeing the terminal and stuff. Weeks later I switched back to Windows because I couldn't install my games and play mp3 files (require to install some libraries and I had no internet).
Fast forward 8 years later and I was studying linux system for CS degree and guess what? I was the major in class because I knew about many stuff like partition systems (ext2, swap..) and how to install linux on a computer...
This was my feeling 😎 at class.
why i decided to be a Fullstack web dev?
i see this website in my childhood and it left a mark on me very deeply :)
Not a rant, just a story.
We never had a computer, maybe one for a few months, and the only thing I remember about it is playing "brick breaker". My next encounter with a computer was when my dad bought a laptop in 2007, but I didn't use it since I was young and had no idea about it. We still have the laptop (Compaq) but it has some battery issues. Then the next and last until now is my first ever proper computer, my XPS 13. As for interaction with computers, we had computer class in 11th and 12th grade in my school, but they had the crappy old computers with pirated Windows XP running on every machine. (This is 2015-16).
So, I never had a proper interaction with computers in my childhood.
The first computer I ever had interaction with is my XPS 13.
JPA my friend ... JPA why are you like this? JPA why do hate me so much? JPA, let's have a word ...
How come you are so far away from real-world problems, so cumbersome to use, so ugly (criteria API), so wrong and inconsistent?
Oh, what it's all your parents fault? Oh come, on that can't be, right? Did you have a bad childhood?
Your parent's were fucking crack-smoking maniacs which didn't know a single bit about actual databases?
They design you as an API without actually trying you out in the wild? And then they patched up together with some essential DB stuff, like friggin indexes? Not even tried to make this API consistent nor really functional?
Oh poor, you little JPA ...
When I saw they remastered Call of Duty 4 I was very happy, spent alot of my childhood on that game and would easily pay £40-50 for it. But they are only selling it as an add on to the new COD game for £90-110 😔
When you restore a decade of photographs from your relatives' hard drive and they have no idea that you feel like a hacker from the movies. But as you browse the photos, you cri because damn! It's been years! I miss my childhood!
Just had a random nostalgia moment:
Childhood days playing wolfenstein 3d in the telephone cable modem internet times.
I clearly remember the first cheat code i used in my entire life for that game : ILM
What was your first cheat code and the first game that comes to your mind when talking about your childhood games :)2
Started programming with asp classic. Will never forget the first time I ever managed to dump a post request on screen. Oh, the childhood of it...
When I was 10 I fell in love with designing DnD type games on paper, and I knew I was going to take that childhood passion and dream and make it a reality