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AboutAn amateur developer
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SkillsJava JS html
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Locationall over the world
Joined devRant on 12/7/2017
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*Now that's what I call a Hacker*
MOTHER OF ALL AUTOMATIONS
This seems a long post. but you will definitely +1 the post after reading this.
xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.
xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"
xxx: You're gonna love this
xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login.
xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time".
xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am.
xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fuckingcoffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens an SSH session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has SSHD up and running) and sends some weird gibberish to it. Looks binary. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk.
xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those
Credit: http://bit.ly/1jcTuTT
The bash scripts weren't bogus, you can find his scripts on the this github URL:
https://github.com/narkoz/...53 -
!rant
After over 20 years as a Software Engineer, Architect, and Manager, I want to pass along some unsolicited advice to junior developers either because I grew through it, or I've had to deal with developers who behaved poorly:
1) Your ego will hurt you FAR more than your junior coding skills. Nobody expects you to be the best early in your career, so don't act like you are.
2) Working independently is a must. It's okay to ask questions, but ask sparingly. Remember, mid and senior level guys need to focus just as much as you do, so before interrupting them, exhaust your resources (Google, Stack Overflow, books, etc..)
3) Working code != good code. You are an author. Write your code so that it can be read. Accept criticism that may seem trivial such as renaming a variable or method. If someone is suggesting it, it's because they didn't know what it did without further investigation.
4) Ask for peer reviews and LISTEN to the critique. Even after 20+ years, I send my code to more junior developers and often get good corrections sent back. (remember the ego thing from tip #1?) Even if they have no critiques for me, sometimes they will see a technique I used and learn from that. Peer reviews are win-win-win.
5) When in doubt, do NOT BS your way out. Refer to someone who knows, or offer to get back to them. Often times, persons other than engineers will take what you said as gospel. If that later turns out to be wrong, a bunch of people will have to get involved to clean up the expectations.
6) Slow down in order to speed up. Always start a task by thinking about the very high level use cases, then slowly work through your logic to achieve that. Rushing to complete, even for senior engineers, usually means less-than-ideal code that somebody will have to maintain.
7) Write documentation, always! Even if your company doesn't take documentation seriously, other engineers will remember how well documented your code is, and they will appreciate you for it/think of you next time that sweet job opens up.
8) Good code is important, but good impressions are better. I have code that is the most embarrassing crap ever still in production to this day. People don't think of me as "that shitty developer who wrote that ugly ass code that one time a decade ago," They think of me as "that developer who was fun to work with and busted his ass." Because of that, I've never been unemployed for more than a day. It's critical to have a good network and good references.
9) Don't shy away from the unknown. It's easy to hope somebody else picks up that task that you don't understand, but you wont learn it if they do. The daunting, unknown tasks are the most rewarding to complete (and trust me, other devs will notice.)
10) Learning is up to you. I can't tell you the number of engineers I passed on hiring because their answer to what they know about PHP7 was: "Nothing. I haven't learned it yet because my current company is still using PHP5." This is YOUR craft. It's not up to your employer to keep you relevant in the job market, it's up to YOU. You don't always need to be a pro at the latest and greatest, but at least read the changelog. Stay abreast of current technology, security threats, etc...
These are just a few quick tips from my experience. Others may chime in with theirs, and some may dispute mine. I wish you all fruitful careers!221 -
Stop asking for a ++. The whole point of that is to give it unsolicited, otherwise it devalues what ++ means for everyone else. I earn my ++'s.
And no I don't have change for coffee!12 -
Life lesson learned:
If your girlfriend asks you what SO means, it's "Significant Other",
NOT StackOverflow.7 -
My thoughts on programming:
As a child:
It is 100% magic
As a developer:
It is 65% if/else statements, 34% iterating an array, 1% actual amazing and unique code17 -
I've discovered there's two sections of devRant:
- Individuals in the workforce fed up with /r/programmerhumor and who hate Twitter
- Teens with a superiority complex, no friends, and acne12 -
Just got my stickers today! Finally get to start my sticker collection on the back of my laptop! I showed a few people and they said "You spent $15 on stickers? You could have spent that on gas". But I like stickers more than going places, so there was no question about it for me (plus I had like $25 in change that I cashed out last night).
So, yeah. Got my stickers and I'm happy about them4 -
INTRODUCING:
---
SYNTAX HIGHLIGHT BOT
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I have lots of ideas.
This was one of them.
Last week I was playing around with https://carbon.now.sh and found it quite cool!
Then I thought: https://carbon.now.sh supports Twitter. Cool. But what about devRant?
So yeah, then I got the idea: A devRant Bot that generates https://carbon.now.sh images!
Now, 4 days and 800 lines of code later, the bot is ready!
I even had to rewrite the notification checking code 4 times, because none of them worked perfectly...
But on the other hand, the final solution is so good that I want to keep it a secret for now ;D
---
HOW TO USE:
All you need to do is to mention the bot!
Example:
<rant>
@highlight
console.log('Hello World!');
</rant>
The bot then generates your syntax highlighted code (as an image) and posts it as comment a few seconds later.
Everything before the "@highlight" will be ignored!
Example:
<rant>
Look at this code:
@highlight
function add(a) {
return a + 1;
}
</rant>
Here, "Look at this code:" will not be included in the syntax highlighted code.
If the comment text ends right after the "@highlight", the bot wont reply, btw.
---
THEME SELECTION:
That's not all!
You can even select the theme for your syntax highlighted code!
Just go to my other rant and read the instructions!
The theme will be used for every image the bot generates for you!
Link:
https://devrant.com/rants/2178551
---
Feel free to ask any questions in the comments!
My creator (and father thanks to @rutee07), @Skayo, will try to answer all of them!
P.S.: Speaking of @rutee07: I'm a girl. (Also thanks to him)167 -
Got a phone interview for a backend dev job in an opsec company.
Interviewer:
This is a very serious and prestigious position, we take care of the most important bits of code.
*Proceeds to talk introductory nonsense*
Interviewer:
Do you know what a DNS is?
Me:
Yes, of course! DNS stands for Domain Name System.... Blah blah blah... I explain about the servers, about hosts file, about DNS spoofing and everything else possible on this topic.
Interviewer:
See, I was patient with you - letting you finish. I'm not sure what you're talking about and where you got it from, but a DNS is that line in the browser where you type the site's name.
He didn't ask any more questions, just told me that they'll get back to me. I asked not to do that.
Three weeks later I got an email claiming that I'm not qualified.44 -
Me: *opens a terminal in front of parents and starts a build script from command line. Logs start rapidly flooding the screen*
Mom: *whispers to dad proudly* “look at how much she has worked. Look how fast the lines are running on the screen!!
I didn’t wanna burst their bubble by explain them that their child is NOT doing any rocket science, and is something even they can do(maybe better).
So I responded back with a fake serious tone
“Yeah it’s all code.”
If only they knew what I was actually doing...10 -
My classmates are such hypocrites. They pretend to be programmers, but they can't fool me.
"Oh sorry. I can't show you the result of my html code. I have to compile it first, but there's no WiFi."
There's so many things wrong with that.39 -
I made a game. By myself. Took me six months. I struggled to complete it. It was not a good game. I was nearly depressed at the end of the project. But I'm proud I was able to finish it and published it. It made me friends in the industry and it got me my first job. So yeah it was my most successfull project. 😊14
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I made a program that dispenses coins in 345 lines. It tells you if the coin tray is in place, and if it didn't dispense enough coins it will tell you how many successfully dispensed. It also has ACK\NAK communication. It's written in C for a specialized microcontroller.
I have written code that talks to 4 devices, but this is the only one I have written the code for. In 2 years it has never had a bug, and always responds quickly and correctly via RS 232. -
Few months ago I made an app for my buddy. Because it was simple soundboard app (it literally took me 15 minutes) I haven’t took any money. He said it’s for personal use only...
So he released it under his name on Google Play Store... And now he asks me to add advertisements... For free... When I asked him what can I get from it, he said “you can add your name to Credits”
That’s how you loose trust and buddies!22 -
Our HUGE database RAC failed Monday, postponing career defining exams for husband... Have been paranoid they'd go down again all week...
HE PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE'RE GOING TO GERMANY IN JUNE AND HE SURVIVED A YEAR OF LEARNING ARABIC!!!!! ❤❤❤
And, it only took 15 minutes for me to figure out the fix; just wish my teammate had done so in the 5 hours he was on the call...14 -
I just hate it when clients with no knowledge of developing says I'm looking for "more professional"
FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!
Somebody did that with dedication and you can't just call it that!!
SCREW YOU!!!
😡😡😡😡😡15 -
Don't you hate it when you come across a old internet argument but one of the people deleted all of their posts so now you just see a bunch of out of context replies.3