USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails

sketching keeps my sanity alive while coding or UX designing

@donnico saw your rant about that "perfect code" and remembered of this 😀

Wait, there is a bug in high sierra making it possible to log in as root without a password. What the fuck? How does this shit even happen?

just started an AI project (yes I know, very descriptive). should i have 20 nested for loops???

That moment you realize the code you inherited at the new job may be a fucking mess....

Company: "We'd like to use SQL Server Enterprise" MS: "That'll be a quarter million dollars + $20K/month" Company: "Ok!" ... Company: "We'd like to use Babel" Babel: "Ok! npm i babel --save" Company: "Cool" Babel: "Would you like to help contribute financially?" Company: "lol no"

That's it, my days as a dev will end now.
Look what I just wrote :(

Some guy just called it "Jithub"

Never heard of that before

PHP SHOULD BE USED TO MAKE ALL OPERATING SYSTEMS

Professor : Explain deadlock and I will give you full marks.

Me:- You give me full marks and I'll explain deadlock.

Maintaining software built by interns who have all quit by now and made zero documentation

Searching where an event takes place at, Google says "the Earth"

Just applied to a new job with this as my cover letter.
Wish me luck!

Funny how the "change is good" popup comes up while I'm trying Ubuntu out

I really really want to start working.

I have social anxiety, but my mom is really on my ass about bringing in money. I need some sort of job that I can do from home on my computer.

Something related to programming.. Administration.. Whatever. I don't mind having to learn something new to find work.

I have no formal qualifacations.

I don't care how easy or hard it is, as long as I can make at least $100/mo.

One of my friends purchased a bootable USB of ubuntu for around 40 USD.

Girlfriend: What's your biggest fear?

Me: That machines take over the world.

Girlfriend: What?

Toaster: What?

I made this a couple of years ago for a joke but no one really got it.

It's a printable smartwatch that always tells the right time, no need for charging...

YouTube comments at it's best

I hired a woman for senior quality assurance two weeks ago. Impressive resume, great interview, but I was met with some pseudo-sexist puzzled looks in the dev team.

Meeting today. Boss: "Why is the database cluster not working properly?"

Team devs: "We've tried diagnosing the problem, but we can't really find it. It keeps being under high load."

New QA: "It might have something to do with the way you developers write queries".

She pulls up a bunch of code examples with dozens of joins and orderings on unindexed columns, explains that you shouldn't call queries from within looping constructs, that it's smart to limit the data with constraints and aggregations, hints at where to actually place indexes, how not to drag the whole DB to the frontend and process it in VueJS, etc...

New QA: "I've already put the tasks for refactoring the queries in Asana"

I'm grinning, because finally... finally I'm not alone in my crusade anymore.

Boss: "Yeah but that's just that code quality nonsense Bittersweet always keeps nagging about. Why is the database not working? Can't we just add more thingies to the cluster? That would be easier than rewriting the code, right?"

Dev team: "Yes... yes. We could try a few more of these aws rds db.m4.10xlarge thingies. That will solve it."

QA looks pissed off, stands up: "No. These queries... they touch the database in so many places, and so violently, that it has to go to therapy. That's why it's down. It just can't take the abuse anymore. You could add more little brothers and sisters to the equation, but damn that would be cruel right? Not to mention that therapy isn't exactly cheap!"

Dev team looks annoyed at me. My boss looks even more annoyed at me. "You hired this one?"

I keep grinning, and I nod.

"I might have offered her a permanent contract"

Let's not.

***JUST BECAUSE SECURITY***

My father deleted the email with the credential for our ISP (pppoe: username and password), and I need it to connect a router.

Just called the tecnical service, after a couple of minutes they gave it to me.

They sent to me both username and password.

In clear.

Asking me where to send (which mail).

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HOW IS CALLED THE CREDENTIAL I NEED.

Obviously, I just had to say the accountholder of the bill.

Now I am super scared, i can virtually access any account.

So, my wife sends me this picture because our car had 111,111 miles on it. Of course she called me a nerd when I told her, "That is awesome because if you ignore the .3 on the trip odometer it is 63 and that in binary is 111111"

Savage 😂

This made me laugh hard

5 hours on the call. No end in sight. Nothing in logs, errors, or captures. Want to cry.

Why study computer science if you can become a science and get paid for it? 🤣

Fuck you Nvidia

10k! Yes! Pet upgrade!

Devrant needs an upvote bomb button that'll randomly upvote a certain number of user's rants/comments, coz it's becoming a common bonding mechanism over here!

Thanks @github, @nik123, @haxk20!!