My classmate is a real SAVAGE!!

He (team leader) and his team participated in hackathons several times and kept losing.
He noticed something common about winning team, majority of those team members were women, even if they were non technical and their project was pure bs, they were winning in the name of women empowerment.

This time he came out with a plan, he fired his boys and invited women into his team, and even made one girl the team leader.
Result? HE WON!!!
NOT ONE BUT THREE HACKATHONS BACK TO BACK

AND

His so called women team was invited by Google to pitch their startup idea.

Now, if they gets funding, he's gonna kick out these women and bring back his teammates

null vs undefined

Who wrote this fucking algorithm!

To the cunt who named himself "Uncaught ReferenceError: username is not defined":
Sincerely, fuck you.

Coworker wrote a nice package and put it on Github, to share with other departments.

I link his package on our company Slack, mentioning a team, with text "What do you think of this one? Is it usable for you guys?"

Next thing I know I have to explain to an executive why I'm "posting pictures of seductive cartoon girls in company chat with disrespectful commentary"

It linked the Github profile picture of the developer in Slack. A fully clothed anime girl, nothing particularly lewd about it.

But I like stabbing back a bit, and confusing the fuck out of people in suits:

"Hate to say it, but a good majority of all the code the company runs on, is written by people known as weebs, who use their so called waifus as their GitHub profile picture. It is very common for open source Javascript packages, but since we recruited 50 extra devs it now also happens internally. It's not my thing either sir, but I'm afraid we have to embrace it... "

"But what about our female devs? What about Joanna, she's in your team? We have to think of diversity! Our investors are really in to diversity, we can't have a bro culture!"

"Sir, with all due respect, we have super diverse teams without even trying. The problem is... they're all millennials. They grew up on weird memes... and are probably ten steps further in embracing diversity compared to the rest of the company."

"Also, Joanna is the one who drew this particular picture. She's charging a €15 commission for profile pictures... Do you want one of your fursona, sir?"

"What is that?"

"Uh... nevermind. Let's... let's not go there"

Recently I've installed Tinder. Had my first match yesterday.

Me: "I see you're a product manager in a software company. Do you get along well with programmers? :)"

No reply. Unmatches. 😶

My first post................... from firefox.

Chrome has made me to switch to firefox completely.

Say no to java xD

Big event. Massive traffic in production, so we were monitoring all night.

I was in a room with 2 devs of my team, a marketting girl, my boss and a designer... chilling.

Suddenly the production is down.

Boss: production is down, anyone can check?
Me: already on it
Dev1: it looks ok for me
Dev2: me too
Me: wait what? Impossible everything is down
Dev1: oh I refreshed the page it's not working
Me: don't stay on the page refreshing it like you are fucking monkeys. Give me useful intel or be quiet.
Market girl: is it working?
...
Guys is it working?
...
Hello?
Me: Not yet we are looking. Don't distract me.
Boss: client called us. They want it online now.
Dev1&2: he's looking
... 1 min later...
Boss: is it working?
Boss: is it working?
Boss: is it working?
Me: SHUT THE FUCK FOR FUCKING ONE SECOND. ALL OF YOU, OUT NOW. YOU ARE FUCKING MONKEYS WHO CAN'T DO SHIT. IF YOU CAN'T HELP JUST SHUT YOUR DAMN SHITHOLE. DEVS, LOOK WITH ME. MARKET GIRL PREPARE A FUCKING POST-MORTEM MAIL. BOSS GET THE CLIENT ON THE PHONE AND STALE. DO. YOUR. FUCKING. JOBS.

That's how I ended up screaming at everyone... the rest of the night went in complete silence and I fixed the issue 2min after the got quiet or busy.

friend of mine: "I like my servers like I like my girls"
me: "insecure?"

*Reinstalls devrant
*Double taps some rants
DevRant: Dood did you know that you can DOUBLE TAP rants to updoot!?!

Classic

"dude let's do 418 pages"
"sure"
"where do we put it though"
"I got an idea"

Random guy : Well I'm not tracked on the internet, I use private tabs.
Me : Well, I'm not sleeping with your mom, I use condoms

The easiest way to trigger any developer

My life today

If Gordon Ramsay made code reviews, I would watch that show. Especially the insults he would use for handling clients.

"This code has so much spaghetti, it decided to open it's own restaurant"

Stackoverflow.

When SQL is life!!! 😀😀😀

She : I like stupid people

Me : * Buys iPhoneX *

5 likes and I’ll merge /dev/null into master

I just wanted to show off my battle station.
I figured that some would appreciate it. :)

Why not! 😂

Its really funny how apple does things 😂😂🍎

what's scarier than the red demon or pennywise? THE GRADLE DAEMON

Can totally relate to this

I've asked a friend for a charging cable, he asked if I need a Samsung or a IPhone one. He ended up totally confused when I asked him for a Type C one.

Do I want to continue?
Y -> vacation lost (Production server is down).

N -> Ok, I will gather more packages for you to update next time.
😭😭

Well that describes it perfectly....

@dfox I just double tapped a rant to ++ it and then, after I double tapped, I got this:

I need python