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Indian outsourcing web companies on their websites be like:
"We provide services in IOT, Machine Learning, Data Analysis, Web security analysis, blah blah"
Me excitingly joins the company and finds out, they all are PHP developers developing unsecured websites.1 -
Manager: so how long will feature A take?
Me: about a week.
Manager: and feature B?
Me: also a week.
Manager: how about C?
Me: another week
Manager: great! then we can finish the project in a week!
THAT'S NOT HOW MATH WORKS9 -
I've tried to stay out of the fray regarding replacing long-standing terminology to use "safe" inclusive wording instead because it doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me to just use the new wording. If the old wording wasn't hurting people (this is an argument that a of a lot of people use regarding this mass naming change movement) then the new wording shouldn't hurt anyone either...
that was just my 2 cents on the topic, until today!
Some dumb motherfuckers are trying to replace the word 'execute' with 'start'/'run'.
That's just some fucking ignorant plebian shit right there. The literal definition of execute is:
"The act or process to carry out fully or put completely into effect"
"to do what is provided or required by..."
"to perform what is required to give validity to..."
start and run don't grammatically encapsulate what execute does. And now I sound like a fucking grammar nazi because this shit is getting under my skin more than it should.
Execute's primary definition is grammatically correct for the context in which it is used.
Change Master/Slave for databases and I couldn't give a single solitary fuck about it. Primary/Secondary works just fine too. The grammatical context isn't blown away here.
But take away my execute and sudden I get all hot and bothered with the desire to punch a nun over how stupid this "offensive words" crusade is.
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.15 -
On my annoying radar today - devs who learn one language and then *insist* on using it for everything, even when it makes absolutely zero sense.
"Ooh I'd like to do some microcontroller development. But I only know Java. How do you run Java on a microcontroller?"
"...You don't."
"...but I heard a talk where someone did it. Look, there's this microjava page. How do I use it?"
"It's an interesting technical demo, but that's it. Dude, just learn C. It's not hard, Java has C style syntax anyway and this way you can...."
"...but I only want to use modern programming languages. C is irrelevant these days, it's pointless me learning it."
"It's definitely still relevant if you want to program a microcontroller."
"...but I want to do that in Java."
🤦♂️15 -
!Dev
Can't stand it when you excitedly mention the Mars rover (or anything space related) to someone and they say "Yeah but what's the point you could be feeding the poor or sorting out the environment with that money instead"
...yeah, you could. Or you could be doing that with money from the army instead. Or football. Or any other popular sport. Or yaknow, you could personally be doing that rather than spending all your salary on crappy clothes you're going to throw away in a few months anyway.
And that's not even mentioning the jobs it creates, the people it inspires to go into science + tech fields, the scientific advances it makes for humanity, etc. If you're that against scientific advancement then please, by all means surrender your possessions and just go live in a cave somewhere.6 -
I hate when a retard fuckstick user on FuckOverflow gives answer like this:
"I suggest a read of the documentation instead of only hacking around"
IF I'M ASKING A QUESTION IT'S BECAUSE THE fucking doc wasn't clear to me, it was longer than the dick of the horse that fucked your mother, or simply I didn't have the fucking time and I hoped somebody would help me out, you dumb fatherfucker17 -
I'd like to extend my heartfelt fuck-you to the following persons:
- The recruiter who told me that at my age I wouldn't find a job anymore: FUCK YOU, I'll send you my 55 birthday's cake candles, you can put all of them in your ass, with light on.
- The Project Manager that after 5 rounds of interviews and technical tests told me I didn't have enough experience for his project: be fucked in an Agile way by all member of your team, standing up, every morning for 15 minutes, and every 2 weeks by all stakeholders.
- The unemployment officer who advised me to take low level jobs, cut my expenses and salary expectations: you can cut your cock and suck it, so you'll stop telling bullshit to people
- The moron that gave me a monster technical assignment on Big Data, which I delivered, and didn't gave me any feedback: shove all your BIG DATA in your ass and open it to external integrations
- the architect who told me I should open my horizons, because I didn't like React: put a reactive mix in your ass and close it, so your shit will explode in your mouth
- the countless recruiter who used my cv to increase their db, offering fake jobs: print all your db on paper and stuff your ass with that, you'll see how big you will be
To all of them, really really fuck you.12 -
HR sent around updated contracts asking everyone to sign them since the company changed its name, fair enough.
In the contract it stated "Your normal place of work will be X" - only X was many miles away, and I'd never worked there, never planned too. Assumed it was a mistake, sent it back. HR refused to change it, stating that the "normal place of work does not need to be the place where you normally work."
A lot of back and forth entailed, I refused to sign, I was reprimanded for not doing so, I was asked what my problem was as it made no material difference, and then I eventually replied with:
"Angela, I'm refusing to sign this as it's factually incorrect. No further explanation is required. I'll maybe consider signing this if you sign a piece of paper declaring you believe the moon is made of cheese, and you're the cow the milk came from to make it."
A very strongly worded email came back about how this was going on my record, I needed to offer a formal apology, etc. - all cc'd to my manager. I replied back, again copying my manager in, stating that this was ok, as I couldn't remain at a company who forced employees to sign dodgy contracts anyway.
Problem was (for them), I was a *massive* single point of failure for them at this point owing to some others leaving with no handover - hence I knew I wasn't going to be the casualty here. My manager flipped the lid at HR, got the CEO involved on threat of *him* leaving, and the whole thing massively blew up. Happy ending in that the HR person in question was fired, everyone else's contracts also had to be redone (I assumed everyone else just signed without looking which is worrying), and I actually got a pay rise out of it when higher ups realised the massive single point of failure I was.
But damn, I would've walked over crap like that. Walked pretty soon after anyway!13 -
"If you use a css framework splat splat splat splat bullshit bullshit bullshit"
Listen fam, I write apps that a good portion of the time will be used internally by the company I represent or work for. They don't give 2 flying fucks if I write an entire webpack ecosystem for them to push out assets and 10k outher bs shit in to their frontend end. They just care that shit connects properly to their backend and it spits out the information they need, which 9 times out of 10 does not require a lot of the shit y'all cry about.
Bootstrap will suffice, bulma will suffice. I don't neckbeard over simple shit like this.15 -
Dear teenager who came up to me and said "Oh python, you must be a beginner programmer"
kill yourself
sincerely,
Angry dev who is tired of people shaming python27 -
* How other sites charge for a domain name
- The domain (abc.com) is available
---- Price => $14
* How AWS charges
- Your domain (abc.com) is available
--- Domain name => $18.99
--- DNS resolution => $17.88
--- Hosted zone (1) => $10.97
--- Route53 Interface => $45.67
--- Network ACL => $63.90
--- Security Group => $199.78
--- NAT Gateway (1) => $78.99
--- IP linking => $120.89
--- Peer Connection => $67.00
--- Reverve Endpoint => $120.44
--- DNS Propagation => $87.00
--- Egress Gateway => $98.34
--- DNS Queries (1m) => $0.40
--------------------------------
---- TOTAL => $2903.99
(Pay for what you use... learn more)
--------------------------------13 -
WHY THE FUCK IS MORE AND MORE APPS BUILT WITH ELECTRON. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
FUCK.27 -
Worst of 2020:
Seeing company get stuck in an organizational swamp. Devs tend to be reasonably good at working from home...
Management isn't. Meeting quality has gone down the drain, half of management thinks "if the boss can't see me why work at all?", the other half has constant calls with tiny working groups where nothing is final and everyone is left confused.
I'm convinced: Everything management is afraid of about allowing devs to work from home is based on projection of their own weaknesses.
They're not passionate enough to work without oversight. They might not be introverts, but extroverts are perfectly able to communicate poorly, especially when a few digital hurdles get in the way.
The average developer might actually be more attuned to the intricacies of emotionless text chats, and preventing disruptive elements in video calls.
Also, unless someone physically helps a manager to remove their head from their own ass once in a while, their "gut feelings" about the market and products are actually just amplified bias caused by their endless self-absorbed yelling into the echo chamber that is their stretched out rectum.
Holy motherfucking hell, have I seen some weird projects float by in 2020, pooped out by isolated product managers whose brain clearly has melted when they had to survive without office fruitbaskets and organizational post-it walls.
Yeah let's promote our international character, by giving away travels and hotel bookings, using pictures of happy hugging people in foreign countries... Great promo during a pandemic.
Or let's get "woke" and promote the "colored users" on our platforms, by training ML to categorize people by skin pigment (Apart from how illegal and ethically insane that is on multiple levels, about 85% of our users pick shit like anime characters and memes for their avatar).
Or how about we make a Microsoft Store app, even though the vast majority of our end users are students using cheap Android phones, older iPhones, Macbooks and Chromebooks.
😡
Anyway, now that I have dressed up my Christmas tree with some manager intestines...
Best of 2020:
I got to play through my Steam backlog, work on hobby projects, and watch a lot of YouTube.
All this pandemic insanity has convinced me all the more that I want to work way more in Rust, and publish way more on open source projects.
I became maintainer/collaborator on a bunch of semi-prominent libraries & frameworks, and while no community is perfect, I enjoy my laid-back coffee-fueled debugging on those packages much more than listening to another crack addicted cocksucker in a suit explain their half-assed A/B test idea to me at 9AM.
So, 2021 will be me half-assing through the spaghetti at my official fuckfest of a job so I can keep filling my bank account — and investing way more time and effort into stuff I find truly engaging, into projects with a heart and a soul.3 -
Hard lesson:
Don’t update your OS while a project is still not finished, or at least on critical state of a project8 -
Depression and anxiety is a major challenge in my work life.
I could remember vividly when I was at my last job, any time I felt depressed I'll call for sick leave. It was hard for me to pinpoint the cause of my depression because even while on most sick leave I still felt depressed.
I blamed it on my job, blamed it on my family, on my social circle, on my friends, on my lifestyle, on almost everything. At some point it all felt like it was me versus the world, a fight I could never win.
Thoughts came in... Maybe it's because John is now married with two kids, or because Stella is now the new manager, or that David just bought a new Ross Royce and I'm still riding an ice-cream truck, or its because Steve is always on vacation and PM always complaining about uncompleted task with no acknowledgement for the 2 months task finished in a week, or because Boss is always calling for stupid meetings. Different thoughts in my head... Jealousy, Envy, Disappointment, Tiredness, Confusion, all combined at once.
But I did found a cure for my anxiety and depressed nature...
During lunch hours I visit a beach close to where I work, it's called "Tarkwa bay". I'll sit at the rock formations and glare at the shadows of the rising sun, listen to the sound of rumbling waters and passive the complete overview of nature. The feeling I get there is really calming, It occupies my head with neutral thoughts and a love for nature. 🤗
I truly experienced an improvement overall and it's been a while I felt depressed since I started such a routine.
Nature is really a gift.1 -
HR made a day long inclusiveness meeting. About why there are so few women in the department. Basically the conclusion the HR rep was looking for was “toxic masculinity” and it was super uncomfortable.
The engineering teams couldn’t actually participate much because most of them worked on teams without any women and have absolutely nothing to do with hiring. The male engineers were trying to play along and give the right answers. We had to do flip charts and beak into teams and etc.
The HR kept singling out the same three women in engineering and telling the men to “shut up and listen to them”. The female engineers were like, “i don’t know. I don’t have much to say about it.” The HR rep continued to drill those three women to the point that it was uncomfortable.
The engineering hiring manager lost it before noon. He went to his desk and grabbed a stack of resumes. “You gave me a stack of 60 resumes. Looking at names only four applicants are female. Those applicants don’t have education or experience for engineering. If you want more female engineers in the office you have to put qualified applicants into the stack. Forcing these three engineers to talk in front of our department over and over and saying the men have to shut up is not making the workplace less toxic.” Then he told the three engineers, “This meeting is now optional for you three and you are welcome to do anything you want with your time.”
After lunch, all the female engineers went back to their desk and worked. The HR continued to shame the men in an angrier tone for the rest of the day telling everyone “how men can be” from personal experience because they were the ones now representing all women.
Eight bloody hours of that.131 -
The beginning of my freelancing time. I was so naive. Didn't even used contracts...
This one client wanted a website with 2 specific features until a certain time. It should look nice, but only the features functionality was defined. All seemed reasonable at first.
I delivered 2 weeks before the deadline. The client was furious, as it didn't look like they imagined. They wrote me 8 lengthy emails with very fractioned feedback. It was becoming unreasonable.
But hey, I'm a newbie in this business. I have to make myself a name, I thought.
Oh was I naive....
This whole project went on for 2 more months. The client was unhappy with every change and 2-5 emails a day with new demands were coming in. I was changing things they wanted done 2 days ago, because they changed their mind.
Then they started to get personal. They were insulting me and even my family. My self-confidence dropped to an all-time low.
In the end I just sent them all the code for free and went to therapy.
BTW: this was also my most important experience, as things went up hill from then on. As Yoda once said: The greatest teacher, failure is.8 -
If linux is used and maintained by professional power users mostly, why on earth does it never gets good support for basic things Windows does?
Screen dims while playing video, configuring lock screen to work with DM sucks as hell, you even have to define most keyboard shortcuts manually, Optimus GPU setup always buggy, you have to spend some time just configuring power management to work just fine.
We really need to fix this. I mean I am a Linux addict but time is money too.8 -
@College(!)
Teacher comes in
„Today I‘m going to introduce you to Java“
He opened WebStorm
Everybody was like WTF4 -
If you update your stack overflow question with the solution once you find it then you're the real MVP2
